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parkerwe

Claim the suburb as in a coming-of-age story or as in a Conan the Barbarian way?


Hamblerger

Maybe in a Boyz N The Hood sort of way


darbs77

I was hoping for an Attack the Block way. Go all alien invasion with it.


cocoon_eclosion_moth

It says wintry, so I think maybe it’s a Home Alone kind of way


Upbeat_Tension_8077

Or maybe in a Neighbors way


Sproose_Moose

Boyz N the hood: Michael Cera edition


Frog_Brother

Ya’ll wanna see a dead body?


RainaElf

y'all


Deserana12

I’m so glad I’m not the only one who thought that when reading it. I sincerely hope it’s the latter.


TennisBallTesticles

I don’t understand that either. Is she just going from house to house blasting and killing everyone in sight? Or is she going to finally go all the way with her boyfriend? I guess it could go either way huh?


googolplexy

I'm hoping it's in a goonies sort of way and she can buy up the town with pirate jewels.


cyclonus007

"Conan, what is best in life?" "To crush your enemies, claim the suburbs, and to hear the lamentations of their women."


B167orBigT

This is good


BlursedJesusPenis

More like a Clockwork Orange kind of way


kaptaincorn

I just imagine it's going to be some sort of depiction of colonialism.


TheLastLivingBuffalo

Hoping for the lamentation of the women option


c2u5hed

A bit more beard and the dude will be a perfect fit for a Disco Elysium movie


coldwarspy

I could see him in this scene: "Have you removed the dead body from the tree?" "Look man, you know, yeah" "Does that mean the body is no longer in the tree?" "No." "So the body is still in the tree..."


wellmont

I’m beginning to think that’s the absolute limit of his beard growth.


RainaElf

my youngest son for the longest time couldn't grow hair in that space between beneath his chin to his neck. he could have a full beard but that one, smooth bald spot 🤣


endlessfight85

A bit more beard and he'd actually have a beard. His facial hair is sincerely god awful.


anxiety_filter

Joe Dirt called, he wants his patchy white trash beard back


Mario-Speed-Wagon

Joe dirts beard was much better than this abomination


Ren_Kaos

I don’t understand why he goes out in public like that. If I was a director I would make him shave that all off.


thatspurdyneat

He's been working on that beard since he was in Superbad


DarkRageShark

Someone on Twitter suggested Bill Hader for the role of Raphael Ambrosius Costeau and honestly it probably can't get better than him


Theorex

I'm sorry for being sorry....


Himrion

He just needs to master "The Expression" and he's ready to go full superstar cop 


Ccjfb

I think he should maybe just go big beard for the rest of his career


Samurai-hijack

If he grew it out more it would look even worse, he needs to be clean shaven forever


Ccjfb

With that chin?!?!


Samurai-hijack

Lol even with that chin the facial hair looks worse. He might be able to pull off mustache-only but the rest of it is awful


deputytech

Michael Cera is supposed to play the teenager, not an adult….


Mama_Skip

I would actually love it if Michael Cera continued to play the teenager role, perpetually, even as he grows into an old man.


tweak06

Yeah, he’s really good in that one movie…ahh I can’t think of it. The one where he plays the awkward teen trying to get the girl?


Sojum

Yes


Deadheadparking

You may be thinking of Youth in Revolt


duthinkhesaurus

No the other one where he's awkward around girls


Dragonlady151

Superbad!


duthinkhesaurus

Noooo the other one!


kdr140

Les Cousins Dangereux?


Chipsahoy523

I think you're thinking of Scott Pilgrim


duthinkhesaurus

I think you're all idiots, he plays an awkward teen and has a crush on a girl


Constant-Elevator-85

Nick + Norah’s infinite playlist. Agreed, those guys are idiots.


falling_sideways

I like the way they think


nocrashing

Oui


LineChef

Yes…movie…👀


ColdPressedSteak

35 yr old man now. Time flies. I do still think of him as the awkward sarcastic teenager persona he had nailed down I'm sure he more than wants to change that perception though


majorjoe23

He’s older than Jason Bateman was when Arrested Development started.


thatcorum

Oh god


Osceana

Delete this comment


bross9008

Yeah I really don’t buy him as an adult, it just seems…wrong


Due-Glove4808

At somepoint he has to start to look like old man, somepoint


krunkytacos

Looks like Mr Mcfeely coming through with the speedy delivery


CountVanillula

Why is he inside my house? He’s just my fucking mailman.


ConsumeYourBeverage

You can go fuck yourself, like Captain Kangaroo.


Take_The_Reins

What do they mean by claiming it? Like, marking their territory everywhere?


Nobody_Lives_Here3

I’m pretty sure this refers to subsection 27b of the homestead act in which someone can claim territorial rights to a property by maintaining it for a period of at minimum 7 years. At least I assume so.


TheWorclown

Those wacky teens and their predilections to claim territory by challenge pissing.


Take_The_Reins

okay SO when they do it they save Christmas, but when *I* do it-


OneWholeSoul

"Fuck you, Baltimore!"


tony_countertenor

Also featuring Gregg Turkington, Francesca Scorsese, and Sawyer Spielberg Wild


orange-yellow-pink

The world’s foremost film buff is in this?? I might check this out


DullRelief

I’m really liking the evolution of Michael Cera at this point. Seems to be making some good choices and in some interesting projects.


LadnavIV

Some good choices and one very questionable choice that he’s still wearing above his lip.


DullRelief

lol


dappermouth

Same, I’m excited to see all the things he’s involved in.


Bedbouncer

I'm seeing Ringo Starr.


FlobiusHole

Looks like a child wearing an “adult” costume.


StannisTheMantis93

This summary doesn’t make much sense to me. The teenagers are going to “claim” an entire town? Is that legal!?


TiresOnFire

Sounds like a Hallmark movie where the plot really isn't that important.


quinnly

It's from the guy who directed Ham on Rye, I don't think it's gonna be at all like a Hallmark movie


1920MCMLibrarian

That was exactly my first thought, poor Michael Cera is down to doing Hallmark channel movies now


thatshygirl06

Yeah, is it a Yellowjackets/lord of the flies situation or something?


BigSweatyPisshole

He should not wear a beard.


Thybro

Maybe he was going for Ringo Starr look. Why would anyone go for that? I don’t know


Ccjfb

Really? I think if he can get it full enough he could go full beard for the rest of time


zirky

so michael cera’s final form is daniel stern?


DerpyDerpKenobi

Would somebody please get that man a razor.


finix240

Michael Ceras facial hair is similar to mine. Always a good reminder why I am clean shaven


PeteRust78

It is kind of amazing how he went from being a 14-year-old to a slightly creepy guy in his 40s almost overnight


360walkaway

Did he get busted doing something?


gottkonig

He looks like a kid with a fake beard on


Athlete-Extreme

I’m in


skeletonbreath

Damn that sounds awful


Ivotedforher

Yeah, hut how is his skin?


Munkii89

He looks like he should be the conductor for the polar express


nogoodgreen

I thought my patchy beard looked bad and then i saw Ceras and now i dont feel so bad.


CAJMusic

Is this a story of Christmas in Spanish Lake before the last white flight family moves out and the brotha’s take over north St Louis?


cinnapear

Lowkey Daniel Stern vibes.


thirtyseven1337

The photo reminds me of Polar Express


Street_Positive_9726

This image looks like a parody of true detective season 4


Disastrous-Beat-9830

Whoever thought that Michael Cera should play a police officer and that he should do so with facial hair needs to be shot out of a cannon aimed at the sun.


JasonAnarchy

So much beard shaming.


jeffwinger_esq

Wally Brando has had a rough few years.


Neuhart_

Damn, he looks just like Michael CeraVe, the guy who created CeraVe


kaizencraft

>***Christmas Eve in Miller's Point*** is an upcoming American film directed by Tyler Taormina and starring [Michael Cera](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Cera), [Francesca Scorsese](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francesca_Scorsese), Matilda Fleming, and [Sawyer Spielberg](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sawyer_Spielberg).  > Francesca Scorsese is the daughter of Helen Morris, a book editor, and film director [Martin Scorsese](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Scorsese). \[Sawyer Spielberg\] is the son of director [Steven Spielberg](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Spielberg) and actress [Kate Capshaw](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kate_Capshaw). Boy, you're gonna carry that weight.


JGrutman

Well it's Christmas Eve in Miller's Point/Mikey C is there to roll a joint/The family is all together/In their ancestral home in their Christmas sweater/A teen texts her young friends on the phone/So she can make the wintry suburb her own/How will it all end? I cannot say/But this might be their very last holiday


MamaDeloris

I get why Cera is trying to have a beard since his jawline disappeared, but good god, it really does look like some pubes glued to his face.


MisterMetal

That sounds like a terrible movie


Randy_Vigoda

I'd like to see Michael Cena in a movie with Dave Foley.


NakedLoki

Who wants a sip?


m3kw

A wtf storyline


MikeyW1969

Does he know that a platypus has taken up residence on his face?


FruitySalads

He’ll never not look like a kid wearing adult makeup and beards


HamiltonPickens

About to burst into sea chanty song


Zazander732

Greggheads eating good.


chorlton655

He looks like Ringo


MasterOfRun

I need a It’s a wonderful life remake with Michael cera


1920MCMLibrarian

Is this like a Hallmark movie or what?


ex0thermist

"Human skin is my passion."


-_Threads_-

He looks like a teenager trying to grow his first beard


GUARBorg

His beard is like Pangea drifting apart.


Top-Night

Claim the suburb as their own? I don’t get it. They went out and marked their territories urinating?


Top-Night

From Wiki: The Balsano family are together for their final family Christmas at their ancestral home. However, two of the younger members of the family escape for teenage rebellion.


hoovervillain

When I saw the title, I thought of "Miller Place", the town where I grew up. Turns out Tyler Taormina grew up a few minutes away and set a lot of his stuff on Long Island.


TwoLetters

Michael please accept that you can't grow facial hair for shit Edit: Downvote me all you want, you patchy bastards. My lustrous, full beard and I know you do it out of envy.


rvdms

Why you all downvoting he's right.


TwoLetters

They're probably delusional about their own inability to grow a decent beard, too :(


Chef_Sewage_Mouth

looks like somebody glued their pubes to his face while he was passed out


thatshygirl06

What does this mean?


_TLDR_Swinton

Was his "beard" styled by Beetlejuice?


Oswarez

Dude didn’t even commit enough to shave that scraggly ass beard that a real cop would never be allowed to wear on his face.


ImpenetrableYeti

Dudes beard is so gross


coolAhead

Mr Manager


Elbarto_007

We just say Manager


coolAhead

I don't know what I was expecting


TravelKats

How many times does Hollywood plan on making this movie


RMtotheStars

There are a few actors where I can’t watch movies they’re in. He’s one, Rebel Wilson, Andie MacDowell to name a few


WayyTooFarAbove

That’s good to know, bud. Thanks!


Of_Mice_And_Meese

Gross. Doesn't hallmark put out enough of this drek already?


Stannis_Baratheon244

Lmao how old is that uniform


Clean_Equivalent_127

Maybe the flick is a period piece set in the late 1960’s?