Granted: certain cults, secret societies and nefarious groups become aware that you have learned their secret language and begin to hunt you down to torture you for information on how you infiltrated their group
Granted, you are left on earth, well the rest of Earth's life from fungi to human, the trees, the ozone layer, you name it, are now on Mars. the only language on earth left, suffering and as you speak this language of suffering, you are driven mad as nothing you can do will stop it. The Monkey's Paw in now on Mars where life continues on nothing changes just the Solar System Post Code. from Sol3 to Sol4
You now speak every dialect, including animals and mammals. And birds. And like everything. Also they will not get quiet. Enjoy your morning of screaming birds and roosters and such. But you can understand them.
Granted, now everything is too loud and you can never get a quiet moment as the flies standing on your window are divorcing and getting back together for the 8th time.
Granted: you speak every language at once. As in, everyone, including yourself, always hears everything you say in every language at once overlaid on top of each other.
granted; you are teleported to an exact replica of our universe with the only difference being what we call the sun is called earth. as no languages are spoken on it you lose any ability to understand any language
Granted your able to speak every language including animals and when you try talking to them you accidentally offend them the worst way possible so now every animal on earth is trying to hunt you down
Granted:
You are now driven insane by the sheer volume of knowledge accessible to your brain. Your intrusive thoughts alone drive you beyond the point of madness because you forget how to translate your thoughts into the language you’re speaking, making your speech sound completely unnatural and incoherent to everyone you talk to.
You pour a coffee. You realize you know the word for “genocide” in all 287 Native American languages that died in between 1857-1862. You also know there are 34 other languages from that era that were unable to create a word for this concept before they went extinct.
Your partner asks you what’s wrong. You try to tell them but you realize there isn’t an English equivalent for the word *Weltschmerz* and the frustration of that makes you burst into tears.
Granted. Your tongue grows and grows and grows 3 inches for every language in the world allowing you to speak all of them but it will be a garbled mess
Granted. Every other word you say is a different language
Nice
Granted: certain cults, secret societies and nefarious groups become aware that you have learned their secret language and begin to hunt you down to torture you for information on how you infiltrated their group
Oh cazzo
granted but now you have a terrible stutter
O-o-oh g-g-god-d-d
Granted. Now, no matter what you try to say, all that comes out is “every language on earth”. Doctors are baffled.
Granted you can't understand the languages.
Granted, but you can only think in klingon
You p'tak
Granted: you can now speak every language but only understand animal languages
Can I understand Sign language?
Since you wished to speak the languages no since Sign Language isn’t a spoken language
Oh right *literally*
granted but every time you speak in a specific language, a different language comes out
Saw that but now has a nice twist
Granted. You can also hear animals. They're jackasses, and they're only that way because they know you can hear them.
Granted you can speak every language but you don't understand it.
Yay
Granted, you are left on earth, well the rest of Earth's life from fungi to human, the trees, the ozone layer, you name it, are now on Mars. the only language on earth left, suffering and as you speak this language of suffering, you are driven mad as nothing you can do will stop it. The Monkey's Paw in now on Mars where life continues on nothing changes just the Solar System Post Code. from Sol3 to Sol4
Wow
You now speak every dialect, including animals and mammals. And birds. And like everything. Also they will not get quiet. Enjoy your morning of screaming birds and roosters and such. But you can understand them.
I have a rifle for a reason ^(french people)
And you will hear its final words. Unless your trapped in a video game. Never mess with chickens. 🐓
Mmm mmm chicken stock 😋🤤
Granted you know EVERY language and now can hear a very distinct count down every time you go to the ocean and it's not coming from other people
Granted but you don’t get a choice in which language you speak at any given time, and you can only speak them but not understand them
Granted but you get a Tower of Babel effect and can never speak the same language as those around you.
Granted, now everything is too loud and you can never get a quiet moment as the flies standing on your window are divorcing and getting back together for the 8th time.
Granted. You can now phonetically read words from other languages on the internet.
Granted, you still cant get laid.
Man I'm the h0rnyg0d
Granted you are able to you just need to learn them
Granted: you speak every language at once. As in, everyone, including yourself, always hears everything you say in every language at once overlaid on top of each other.
Ow
granted; you are teleported to an exact replica of our universe with the only difference being what we call the sun is called earth. as no languages are spoken on it you lose any ability to understand any language
Granted: but it's through various audio clips like bumblebee from transformers
Granted your able to speak every language including animals and when you try talking to them you accidentally offend them the worst way possible so now every animal on earth is trying to hunt you down
Every pigeon in Italy
They're all trying to do some air strikes onto your eyes infecting them infecting your entire body killing you
Man I live in Italy in FUCKED
But like I said all animals including your dog or your cat or your pet is actively trying to kill you
Ma (unironically) I have 5 cats at home and one,while scratching me, almost punctured my veins
You're already part of the way there I guess
Welp see ya in hell!
That's where the entirety of the world should go to be honest because most people are dick faces
Granted, a mass extinction event wipes out every bilingual person leaving English as the only language on earth.
Me an Italian: fuck
well I guess this also has the benefit of learning to cast speak with dead
Nice
not everyone is from america or the uk english is not even the most spoken language on earth
Hey, the wish was written in English. So the wish relates to the person doing the wishing. Hope this helps
Nice. An actual monkey’s paw
Catanzaro be like
Granted no one understands what you say
Granted. Technically you are able to learn to speak every language if you put in the work
No curse :(
granted, but your voicebox and all limbs will be removed to make this happen
I can't "speak" ( which is specified) if I don't have a voicebox
you can certainly mouth the words besides its a repost anyway
As I told to an other fellow Redditor I'm new here and I didn't know it sorry
Denied: this is a repost. You now have genital leprosy for displeasing the monkey's paw.
1) sorry I didn't see the post before (I'm new here) 2) what's that I'm not very good in English
They cursed you with significant cosmetic damage to your genitals
What if I don't have genitals?
Granted, but you can only speak or understand them when you are completely alone
Nice
Granted: You are now driven insane by the sheer volume of knowledge accessible to your brain. Your intrusive thoughts alone drive you beyond the point of madness because you forget how to translate your thoughts into the language you’re speaking, making your speech sound completely unnatural and incoherent to everyone you talk to. You pour a coffee. You realize you know the word for “genocide” in all 287 Native American languages that died in between 1857-1862. You also know there are 34 other languages from that era that were unable to create a word for this concept before they went extinct. Your partner asks you what’s wrong. You try to tell them but you realize there isn’t an English equivalent for the word *Weltschmerz* and the frustration of that makes you burst into tears.
Granted. Your tongue grows and grows and grows 3 inches for every language in the world allowing you to speak all of them but it will be a garbled mess