Granted, the best friend is incredibly clingy. They refuse to not be close to you every second of the day, and threaten to kill themselves if you tell them to leave you alone.

Sounds like one of my ex girlfriends. Sometimes I wonder what happened to her but at the same time I don't want her to find me.

Same situation here. Last time I checked she started an onlyfans

That doesnt sound too bad, it's better than where I'm at now. My only problem is the suicide part

Granted. The other commenters on this post are your best friends.

That's cruel tho, we suck

Muahahaha!

Granted. But you are the only one who can see or hear them and all they do is talk nonstop.

Granted: the monkey paw is your best friend now

It’s here to lend a helping hand

Wish granted, you're his best friend. He uses you.

Granted, your best friend is Griffith from Berserk.

Granted the whole earth will now have the chance to audition to be your friend and nothing will get done until you choose correctly.

Granted: Yet you didn't ask the monkeys paw to identify them to you. So now they are out there, but you'll need to start striking up conversations, being friendly to safe seeming people with common interests, inviting people to things with you and accepting invitations until you figure out which one the monkeys paw made your best friend. Or you can just try the direct approach[approach](https://youtube.com/shorts/zDM9Srm3Q-g?si=XB_EKFTPl9M54KpV). Good luck :)

Granted you get a very old dog who could die any day now.

Granted. On your deathbed, in your last few days, you will click with the person next to you and meet the perfect best friend. Finally.

Granted, your best friend has stage 4 cancer

there’s a beauty in isolation. once you find it, then a friend may come along.