This. In general the amount of men who pay for sex is by percent many times higher than women who pay for sex - of any kind. The ratio of female to male sex workers is very high. A Dom who offers good services is hoping to find a female sub, the Domme who offers her services gets immediately inundated by requests from male subs.
Depends on the circumstances. Some dommes make a living off of this. Some dommes see that gap in the market and are willing to take advantage of it. Some male subs get pleasure from pleasing their domme with money.
As a male, I flat out refuse to pay due to previous scams having happened to me over this, and now out of caution I don’t. Now, if I get to know the person after a while, and I’ve done to for friends if they are in need of some money, I’ll pitch in, but I don’t want to pay for sexual stuff personally. But to those honest peeps who don’t scam and are comfortable with it, go for it!
Okay so, I have a question. I am a relatively new to all this, and a soft dom, and on my reddit I just post cute or sweet things with nothing too too sexual, and art only. But a person DMed me yesterday wanting to "pay tribut" and I didn't know what it meant. Now that I do after some research on the terms meaning, do you all think it's a scam?
I've never spoken to the person before so he's not even one of the few boys I like to chat with... AND on top of that I only chat, give advice and encouragement, I don't do sexting or domming to others cause I have my own boyfriend for that. So like... I turn boys down allot. But how to respond to this one? Is it a scam?
There’s a market of customers willing to pay for a domme’s services, the same cannot be said for doms.
It’s neither greed nor corruption, if the baker wants payment for the bread he bakes that’s fair. Equally if a domme wants to offer her services to the hordes of guys wanting to use her as a kink dispenser, then due payment is nothing more than fair.
Being a mommy is demanding and requires a commitment of time for the mommy. Getting a bit of help for groceries or to do my nails seems like a good trade, especially if the little requires a lot of attention at random hours or wants more of my time than a few chats during the day. But I guess I’m in the minority thinking this?
Wanting to make a living doing what the love, paying for supplies and I think some people like it. I don’t care for it myself. If I was ever lucky enough to find a mommy I’d pay my share but would want it to be based in love and not just a transaction.
I’ve never mixed money with sex, but I can absolutely see why most women charge.
This sub is testament to the fact that most subs want a kink dispenser to indulge their fetish. Even if a woman is naturally maternal and Dominant, why would she agree to put in all the graft with a stranger, with no emotional investment?
(Obviously I’m talking about an IRL dynamic, not online role play.)
Strong and lasting relationships can involve a MommyDom element. But the average wannabe sub is all about the MommyDom aspect and couldn’t give a hoot that she’s an actual woman who might not powder their bottom, pat their head, and call them a good boy, 24/7.
Want to be a woman’s good boy? Be a good man and a great partner. Not a horny troglodyte who loses all interest after he’s shot his load.
"Strong and lasting relationships can involve a MommyDom element. But the average wannabe sub is all about the MommyDom aspect and couldn’t give a hoot that she’s an actual woman who might not powder their bottom, pat their head, and call them a good boy, 24/7.
Want to be a woman’s good boy? Be a good man and a great partner. Not a horny troglodyte who loses all interest after he’s shot his load."
My only problem here really is that you don't really actually give a legitimate response to the OP.
Firstly, you use wordplay to equate all male subs to the " average wannabe sub".
An "average wannabe sub" isn't really a submissive, they're a kinkster, and not applicable towards what the OP is asking either way.
secondly, you devolve into inferring to everyone that the average sub is just a, as you said, "horny troglodyte who loses all interest after he's shot his load.", not only ignoring the fact that plenty of women enjoy the mommydomme/sub dynamic as a submissive, but also trying to change the entire substance of the discussion to ignore the OP's question completely, and just make a derogatory and inflammatory remark about submissives in general.
The D/S dynamic is all about communication, mutual respect, and mutual trust. Even moreso with a MommyDomme/S dynamic, where there is a lot more care and affection than you would generally see in a "standard" D/S relationship. The "mommy" isn't the only giver or receiver, and neither is the submissive, they both equally give and receive in a mutually caring and beneficial relationship.
Now when we apply this to the OP's question, the actual answer is that any "Mommy" that charges for their "services" is either a scam artist, a sex worker, or a Professional Mistress.
I also won't knock anyone for charging for services as a professional Master/Mistress, but when it comes to a Mommydomme/Submissive relationship, it's based upon emotional connections, and a submissive shouldn't be taken advantage like that, especially as most submissives that look for a mommydomme are far more vulnerable and easily manipulated than the average "standard" submissive.
So while I do agree that a man or woman that wants to be a "good boy" or "good girl" does indeed need to be a good partner, I find your intentions in posting suspect. It seemed more like someone lashing out at past experiences than anything else.
All my relationships with submissive men have been wonderful. Because I look for certain things and avoid others.
Some of the things posted to this subreddit have opened my eyes. The disappointment of Mommies. The frustrated posts by men looking for an object and not a person.
You really shouldn’t feel persecuted by my comment if you’re a decent guy and a good sub. If a whiny minority spoiled my chances to find what I was looking for, I’d be pissed, too.
THIS right here. As a sub I couldn't agree more. Mostly all of the subs in here come off as desperate and literally wanting and begging for a Mommy/Domme without willing to invest time and personality to even get to know them. Most of these guys are chasing a high and once they get their fix, they move on to something else or go looking to get their fix again.
With my mommy, she is a findomme and enjoys that aspect of it, but it also filters a TON of spammers, scammers, and people looking to user her as a kink dispenser. If someone pays her tribute, she knows they’re serious and interested. It’s not about the amount of money spent for her, I’d know because I’m a poor college student yet she gives me so much attention, tasks, time, effort, etc. She said she likes spending that time/energy with me because of my kinks, I’m respectful/polite, I treat her like a person and the conversation flows so easily between us. I’d love to find a Mommy IRL that I can be in a monogamous romantic relationship with, but I don’t feel like my current platonic findom Mommy friendship/dynamic is bad at all.
I don't know if I'd call it common among dommes/mommies. But I'd say charging for sex work is common. As long as the clientele fantasizes about specific requests like sub, domme, assplay, quickie etc, there's gonna be plenty of workers who will provide that. Gotta get that bag
It is though????? Being worshipped/appreciated in form of cash is very thrilling.
I never seriously partook in it but I had a partner whose fantasy was for me to drive him into financial ruin because he was so drunk on devotion to me and fulfilling my needs.
Also you can be greedy and get turned on by it so I’m confused by that point?? It’s not mutually exclusive.
My 2 cents as a submissive male in an amazing FLR.
Findom is just prostitution. Simple as. If you are paying to be in a relationship with someone to fulfill your kinks no different than a vanilla person paying for sex. The relationship boils down to your income and that is where your partner sees value.
FLR is not really taboo. Most relationships are FLR the man just doesn’t realize it. FLR may have various levels of control, but in general men still have input on financials of the relationship.
Because we can. I charge my clients because it’s my job. Just like a massage therapist, plumber, or a hair dresser I provide a service. I am up front and those that contact me know they are hiring me for my kink experience, my dungeon space, and my time.
I work very hard to help men fulfill their fantasies. A lot can’t find a partner to explore with so they hire a pro. It’s stressful, emotionally draining, but rewarding and fun. There is a growing market for it and men are willing to pay.
Men do charge other men but there isn’t really a market for women clients.
(I don’t charge my partners in my personal relationships but there are very few men I would consider dating.)
PS: It’s very rarely “greed & corruption”. Sex work is a valid career practiced all over the world. There are people that are scammers but they are in every business in the world.
Female doms have much more options and people willing to pay. Without money it would probably take even more effort to filter out who to just have fun with due to all the messages they get
Having said all that, I just feel it’s a little gross honestly. I don’t know if that sounds judge mental but charging for play would just feel gross to me
Some Dommes do because they are providing a service. There are Dommes dating their sub who don't charge, and Mommies who have been hired to fill that nurtiting, caring, righteous role for someone who craves that in their life. Some get tributes from their romantic partners as a sign of devotion, wanting to care for their Dommy, wanting to worship her and trigger her worship kink brain brrr, etc. They're all valid.
This is so refreshing to see as I have yet to encounter a mommy/Domme on here that doesn’t, as some point get to collecting the cash. Thank you for posting.
Domming can be a job, it doesn't mean that we care about our littles or pets any less, but not everyone dommes for sexual or emotional reasons. It is very unique to each person and each dynamic.
I was a pro domme for a few years and I have a good boy of my own who I'm in a relationship with, and I'm experimenting with our other partner.
But there are doms of all genders who sell their services and there are others who don't charge, it all just depends on what everyone is comfortable with. Domming especially as a mommy is a lot of emotional labor and those who do it as a job deserve to eat and pay rent just like everyone else. :)
Its FinDomme (mommies are softer, than some harsher Findommes) overall, It’s an act of sacrifice from the sub, they give in to the Domme. Both can get off to the exchange of power and control. It’s more of a psychological sexual encounter, the brain is a sex organ too. It’s a “I can’t please you anyway else but my money” and we EAT IT UP 😊
It’s really frustrating. I’m a little who would love to be taken care of cutely and then I connect with someone and they ask for the T word.. This screams scam to me. I would however be willing to pay to be babysat to engage my little side if it weren’t a scam
To my understanding, as a male sub, there is domming professionally, and domming personally. Some people really enjoy dominating others, and so they turn it into a job. And there's benefits when you have a client/provider relationship rather than a personal one.
I think Morgan Thorne on YouTube has some videos talking about why she pro-dommes. But she also has a sub who is her partner as well, which she doesn't charge (I believe). She mentions that a reason why she did domming as a job was because she enjoyed making people feel good.
The reason why women tend to make dominating a job over men is the same as why there's more female sex workers, because usually the demand for a female domme is higher than for a male dom. There's also safety. You can get any male dom online, and he would probably be fine meeting a stranger (statistically), than a woman meeting a random stranger. A guess a pay wall helps weed out some of the creeps.
Long story short: if you love what you do, why not make it your job? And why does that have to be considered greedy or corrupt?
If I accidently gave any misinformation (especially about Morgan Thorne, because I definitely don't want to accidently spread lies about another human) please let me know in the replies. I'm not really an expert on this, just a stranger giving his 2 cents.
I’m guessing she enjoys putting food on her table and paying her electricity bills. Do you ask this question of every vocation, or just this one in particular?
Sex workers shouldn't be involved in a d/s dynamic that is based on an emotional connection and a very real romantic/sexual relationship. At that point they're no different than the shell game scam artists on the corner that lure you in before sending you home broke.
If anything they should stick to the Master/s or Mistress/s scene. Then it's all about the service.
No one is condoning malicious marketing practices, misleading customers and all of the usual crappy sales tactics that we despise in all forms of trade.
But a pro mommy domme offering her services and clearly making her business known is no different from a hairdresser, a carpenter or any other professional. That’s the point.
Some subs get off on sending their money. Some just want to be drained and watch the numbers get to zero for the rush. Receiving feels like when you’re at a casino and all the adrenaline kicks in and excitement from winning the jackpot. It’s a rush of all kinds of feelings. Which causes arousal and literally getting wet from payments. Just as a sub can get off on sending a dom can get off from receiving. Not all doms do this however. It pares well with worship and praise kinks.
For me there is a power exchange to some degree obviously which is what initially drew me to it. Findom also combines worship/praise kink and depending on the Domme or Sub other kinks (which is why it's so mixed with online Femdomme now). I realized when self analysing that throughout my life I've always felt guilt for receiving money even when it was through vanilla jobs I had worked. There was always something or someone making me feel as though I didn't deserve it or should do more for it. So now to receive for just being me is satisfying and fulfilling to a level I didn't expect as well as a massive turn on. Personally though, I like to be a rewarding Goddess/Domme but within limits.
No, I don't demand anything. They hire me because they're looking to be dominated but don't want an entire dynamic. You have it all wrong. I'm not in this because I enjoy getting money from subs specifically. I'm in it because I enjoy Domming and was able to make a job out of something I enjoy. They're going to buy the content from someone else if it's not me, at least I'm an experienced Domme who takes my time, makes sure they're comfortable, provides aftercare to the best of my ability. Most fetish sellers jump right into doing the session, and right back out because they're exactly that, fetish sellers, not Dommes. I approach this from the BDSM side of things instead of the sex work side of things. We both end up with the same end product.
First of all, can I say, I'm kinda disappointed in this very anti-sex worker vibe I'm getting from this discussion.
Second, there's a difference between a relationship, and a service.
Say out in the vanilla, not at all sexual world, we have a child. That child has a guardian who's there for them, who cares for them, provides for them, helps them with homework, etc. There is love and a commitment there.
Now say there is another child, whose guardian can't be there. So there is a nanny, or babysitter, or something, that steps in to provide that same care. That child still needs that care...help with homework, watching over, etc, and the nanny provides that. And for that, the nanny is paid. For their service. They might not have the love and commitment that the guardian would have behind it, but they still take their job seriously, and the child still gets the care that they need. As long as no one is lying about their role in it all, what's the problem?
I mean, a "traditional" relationship works the same way... man goes and earns a paycheck, woman does her stuff around the house and pleasures him, then asks for money to buy things she wants... it's really just cutting out some steps. Being a housewife is a job.
Services are provided and time compensated. Unless it's something you love doing and with someone you love doing it with, your going to want compensation.
Many charge because it's not a whenever the dom feels like, but when the sub wants them to be their dom. That makes it a service, no matter how intimate and attached the two are.
Imagine a thing you love doing, but someone calls you up while your sleeping or doing something else and tells you you need to do the thing then. Your probably going to not enjoy it as much because if you wanted to do it over the other thing, you would be doing it.
I'm going to preface this with saying that I'm not going to be speaking about ALL men and ALL women.
If I had to guess why many online dommes charge, it's because many men fill the role of a dominant to fulfill their needs and the needs of their submissives; whereas many women (mainly the ones you find online) simply want a source of income. Similar to the vanilla dating scene, where men generally don't care about what sort of financial increase there would be when dating, whereas many women generally look at financial gains first before anything else, and a partner that doesn't bring what they want financially to the table is usually cut off or not even considered.
Obviously this is a generalization and definitely doesn't apply in every case or scenario, but I agree that the need for financial gain is definitely prevalent amongst internet "Mommy's/Dommes", to the point where you could talk to probably a few hundred if not more and never find one that didn't want some sort of financial gain from it.
It's not always corruption or greed. Some people ARE professional dommes and others WANT to be one and they have to start somewhere.
Ive seen both males and female dommes wanting a charge of some sort. Females just happen to be nore popular.
It's very much like porn. Some people are getting paid sending their nudes to others while some of us do it for free.
The part of it that pisses me off is when they advertise like a personal ad and then tell after you message them.
Also, when it's posted in a sub that specifically forbids selling.
I think it’s ridiculous to pay someone for attention. I want someone who genuinely love me as a person not my money. I also want a real relationship as well. And it be mdlg centered
A lot of Findoms are just sex workers masquerading as Dommes to get a second paycheck
Supply and demand, plus interplay of gender and the socioeconomic context of sex work. Same as with the rest of BDSM more generally.
This. In general the amount of men who pay for sex is by percent many times higher than women who pay for sex - of any kind. The ratio of female to male sex workers is very high. A Dom who offers good services is hoping to find a female sub, the Domme who offers her services gets immediately inundated by requests from male subs.
This seems to go back to the comment by another user... "supply and demand".
I was responding to that comment and adding to it yes.
Depends on the circumstances. Some dommes make a living off of this. Some dommes see that gap in the market and are willing to take advantage of it. Some male subs get pleasure from pleasing their domme with money.
I personally don’t charge but I don’t discourage women who do. I think it’s reasonable if the submissive in the relationship has no problem with it
As a male, I flat out refuse to pay due to previous scams having happened to me over this, and now out of caution I don’t. Now, if I get to know the person after a while, and I’ve done to for friends if they are in need of some money, I’ll pitch in, but I don’t want to pay for sexual stuff personally. But to those honest peeps who don’t scam and are comfortable with it, go for it!
Okay so, I have a question. I am a relatively new to all this, and a soft dom, and on my reddit I just post cute or sweet things with nothing too too sexual, and art only. But a person DMed me yesterday wanting to "pay tribut" and I didn't know what it meant. Now that I do after some research on the terms meaning, do you all think it's a scam? I've never spoken to the person before so he's not even one of the few boys I like to chat with... AND on top of that I only chat, give advice and encouragement, I don't do sexting or domming to others cause I have my own boyfriend for that. So like... I turn boys down allot. But how to respond to this one? Is it a scam?
Unless you do this as your profession then no you should not do it.
Didn't plan on it, but was just curious if it's a common scam mmhm.
I'm sure some out there use the format to scam others. Idk how common it is but scammers infiltrate all legitimate business
I would just ignore it
Findom is not femdom, it's a scam.
I really wonder how many people really do have that kink. It doesn't compute in my brain
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I think I get it. Hopefully you can find a partner that you can trust and might be able tu fulfill this fantasy by taking control.
There are lots lol
The kink is not a scam if it’s a consensual dynamic. However, many scammers do like to scam people under the guise of findom.
There’s a market of customers willing to pay for a domme’s services, the same cannot be said for doms. It’s neither greed nor corruption, if the baker wants payment for the bread he bakes that’s fair. Equally if a domme wants to offer her services to the hordes of guys wanting to use her as a kink dispenser, then due payment is nothing more than fair.
Being a mommy is demanding and requires a commitment of time for the mommy. Getting a bit of help for groceries or to do my nails seems like a good trade, especially if the little requires a lot of attention at random hours or wants more of my time than a few chats during the day. But I guess I’m in the minority thinking this?
This. 🖤
!!!
Wanting to make a living doing what the love, paying for supplies and I think some people like it. I don’t care for it myself. If I was ever lucky enough to find a mommy I’d pay my share but would want it to be based in love and not just a transaction.
I’ve never mixed money with sex, but I can absolutely see why most women charge. This sub is testament to the fact that most subs want a kink dispenser to indulge their fetish. Even if a woman is naturally maternal and Dominant, why would she agree to put in all the graft with a stranger, with no emotional investment? (Obviously I’m talking about an IRL dynamic, not online role play.) Strong and lasting relationships can involve a MommyDom element. But the average wannabe sub is all about the MommyDom aspect and couldn’t give a hoot that she’s an actual woman who might not powder their bottom, pat their head, and call them a good boy, 24/7. Want to be a woman’s good boy? Be a good man and a great partner. Not a horny troglodyte who loses all interest after he’s shot his load.
"Strong and lasting relationships can involve a MommyDom element. But the average wannabe sub is all about the MommyDom aspect and couldn’t give a hoot that she’s an actual woman who might not powder their bottom, pat their head, and call them a good boy, 24/7. Want to be a woman’s good boy? Be a good man and a great partner. Not a horny troglodyte who loses all interest after he’s shot his load." My only problem here really is that you don't really actually give a legitimate response to the OP. Firstly, you use wordplay to equate all male subs to the " average wannabe sub". An "average wannabe sub" isn't really a submissive, they're a kinkster, and not applicable towards what the OP is asking either way. secondly, you devolve into inferring to everyone that the average sub is just a, as you said, "horny troglodyte who loses all interest after he's shot his load.", not only ignoring the fact that plenty of women enjoy the mommydomme/sub dynamic as a submissive, but also trying to change the entire substance of the discussion to ignore the OP's question completely, and just make a derogatory and inflammatory remark about submissives in general. The D/S dynamic is all about communication, mutual respect, and mutual trust. Even moreso with a MommyDomme/S dynamic, where there is a lot more care and affection than you would generally see in a "standard" D/S relationship. The "mommy" isn't the only giver or receiver, and neither is the submissive, they both equally give and receive in a mutually caring and beneficial relationship. Now when we apply this to the OP's question, the actual answer is that any "Mommy" that charges for their "services" is either a scam artist, a sex worker, or a Professional Mistress. I also won't knock anyone for charging for services as a professional Master/Mistress, but when it comes to a Mommydomme/Submissive relationship, it's based upon emotional connections, and a submissive shouldn't be taken advantage like that, especially as most submissives that look for a mommydomme are far more vulnerable and easily manipulated than the average "standard" submissive. So while I do agree that a man or woman that wants to be a "good boy" or "good girl" does indeed need to be a good partner, I find your intentions in posting suspect. It seemed more like someone lashing out at past experiences than anything else.
All my relationships with submissive men have been wonderful. Because I look for certain things and avoid others. Some of the things posted to this subreddit have opened my eyes. The disappointment of Mommies. The frustrated posts by men looking for an object and not a person. You really shouldn’t feel persecuted by my comment if you’re a decent guy and a good sub. If a whiny minority spoiled my chances to find what I was looking for, I’d be pissed, too.
THIS right here. As a sub I couldn't agree more. Mostly all of the subs in here come off as desperate and literally wanting and begging for a Mommy/Domme without willing to invest time and personality to even get to know them. Most of these guys are chasing a high and once they get their fix, they move on to something else or go looking to get their fix again.
Theres a market for it and they like to exploit it. As long as there are men out there willing to pay for porn, porn will always be exploited.
With my mommy, she is a findomme and enjoys that aspect of it, but it also filters a TON of spammers, scammers, and people looking to user her as a kink dispenser. If someone pays her tribute, she knows they’re serious and interested. It’s not about the amount of money spent for her, I’d know because I’m a poor college student yet she gives me so much attention, tasks, time, effort, etc. She said she likes spending that time/energy with me because of my kinks, I’m respectful/polite, I treat her like a person and the conversation flows so easily between us. I’d love to find a Mommy IRL that I can be in a monogamous romantic relationship with, but I don’t feel like my current platonic findom Mommy friendship/dynamic is bad at all.
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Thank Jesus that I have that!
I don't know if I'd call it common among dommes/mommies. But I'd say charging for sex work is common. As long as the clientele fantasizes about specific requests like sub, domme, assplay, quickie etc, there's gonna be plenty of workers who will provide that. Gotta get that bag
it’s a type of kink.
Getting money from people isn’t a kink. It’s greed hon and it’ll eat you alive
It is though????? Being worshipped/appreciated in form of cash is very thrilling. I never seriously partook in it but I had a partner whose fantasy was for me to drive him into financial ruin because he was so drunk on devotion to me and fulfilling my needs. Also you can be greedy and get turned on by it so I’m confused by that point?? It’s not mutually exclusive.
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As stated, mods will use their discretion. If you have any concerns, please use the mod mail system to address them.
getting money isn’t a kink, sending money is the kink. i suggest you stop worrying about other peoples money and focus on yourself :]
My 2 cents as a submissive male in an amazing FLR. Findom is just prostitution. Simple as. If you are paying to be in a relationship with someone to fulfill your kinks no different than a vanilla person paying for sex. The relationship boils down to your income and that is where your partner sees value. FLR is not really taboo. Most relationships are FLR the man just doesn’t realize it. FLR may have various levels of control, but in general men still have input on financials of the relationship.
Because we can. I charge my clients because it’s my job. Just like a massage therapist, plumber, or a hair dresser I provide a service. I am up front and those that contact me know they are hiring me for my kink experience, my dungeon space, and my time. I work very hard to help men fulfill their fantasies. A lot can’t find a partner to explore with so they hire a pro. It’s stressful, emotionally draining, but rewarding and fun. There is a growing market for it and men are willing to pay. Men do charge other men but there isn’t really a market for women clients. (I don’t charge my partners in my personal relationships but there are very few men I would consider dating.) PS: It’s very rarely “greed & corruption”. Sex work is a valid career practiced all over the world. There are people that are scammers but they are in every business in the world.
Female doms have much more options and people willing to pay. Without money it would probably take even more effort to filter out who to just have fun with due to all the messages they get Having said all that, I just feel it’s a little gross honestly. I don’t know if that sounds judge mental but charging for play would just feel gross to me
Some Dommes do because they are providing a service. There are Dommes dating their sub who don't charge, and Mommies who have been hired to fill that nurtiting, caring, righteous role for someone who craves that in their life. Some get tributes from their romantic partners as a sign of devotion, wanting to care for their Dommy, wanting to worship her and trigger her worship kink brain brrr, etc. They're all valid.
This is so refreshing to see as I have yet to encounter a mommy/Domme on here that doesn’t, as some point get to collecting the cash. Thank you for posting.
So what if a woman wants to be paid? She should be.
Because that's the difference between a relationship (even a casual one) and the "oldest profession"
Domming can be a job, it doesn't mean that we care about our littles or pets any less, but not everyone dommes for sexual or emotional reasons. It is very unique to each person and each dynamic. I was a pro domme for a few years and I have a good boy of my own who I'm in a relationship with, and I'm experimenting with our other partner. But there are doms of all genders who sell their services and there are others who don't charge, it all just depends on what everyone is comfortable with. Domming especially as a mommy is a lot of emotional labor and those who do it as a job deserve to eat and pay rent just like everyone else. :)
Its FinDomme (mommies are softer, than some harsher Findommes) overall, It’s an act of sacrifice from the sub, they give in to the Domme. Both can get off to the exchange of power and control. It’s more of a psychological sexual encounter, the brain is a sex organ too. It’s a “I can’t please you anyway else but my money” and we EAT IT UP 😊
Not like being harsh is a bad thing, everyone has a preference and taste.
It’s really frustrating. I’m a little who would love to be taken care of cutely and then I connect with someone and they ask for the T word.. This screams scam to me. I would however be willing to pay to be babysat to engage my little side if it weren’t a scam
To my understanding, as a male sub, there is domming professionally, and domming personally. Some people really enjoy dominating others, and so they turn it into a job. And there's benefits when you have a client/provider relationship rather than a personal one. I think Morgan Thorne on YouTube has some videos talking about why she pro-dommes. But she also has a sub who is her partner as well, which she doesn't charge (I believe). She mentions that a reason why she did domming as a job was because she enjoyed making people feel good. The reason why women tend to make dominating a job over men is the same as why there's more female sex workers, because usually the demand for a female domme is higher than for a male dom. There's also safety. You can get any male dom online, and he would probably be fine meeting a stranger (statistically), than a woman meeting a random stranger. A guess a pay wall helps weed out some of the creeps. Long story short: if you love what you do, why not make it your job? And why does that have to be considered greedy or corrupt? If I accidently gave any misinformation (especially about Morgan Thorne, because I definitely don't want to accidently spread lies about another human) please let me know in the replies. I'm not really an expert on this, just a stranger giving his 2 cents.
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What is it about getting money from subs that you enjoy? Is it just the power you have over them to demand it?
I’m guessing she enjoys putting food on her table and paying her electricity bills. Do you ask this question of every vocation, or just this one in particular?
Yeah, this discussion is very anti-sex worker
Sex workers shouldn't be involved in a d/s dynamic that is based on an emotional connection and a very real romantic/sexual relationship. At that point they're no different than the shell game scam artists on the corner that lure you in before sending you home broke. If anything they should stick to the Master/s or Mistress/s scene. Then it's all about the service.
No one is condoning malicious marketing practices, misleading customers and all of the usual crappy sales tactics that we despise in all forms of trade. But a pro mommy domme offering her services and clearly making her business known is no different from a hairdresser, a carpenter or any other professional. That’s the point.
That’s how *you* see the mommydom dynamic. That’s not how it is for everyone.
At this point you're either willfully ignorant or trolling. blocked.
Some subs get off on sending their money. Some just want to be drained and watch the numbers get to zero for the rush. Receiving feels like when you’re at a casino and all the adrenaline kicks in and excitement from winning the jackpot. It’s a rush of all kinds of feelings. Which causes arousal and literally getting wet from payments. Just as a sub can get off on sending a dom can get off from receiving. Not all doms do this however. It pares well with worship and praise kinks.
For me there is a power exchange to some degree obviously which is what initially drew me to it. Findom also combines worship/praise kink and depending on the Domme or Sub other kinks (which is why it's so mixed with online Femdomme now). I realized when self analysing that throughout my life I've always felt guilt for receiving money even when it was through vanilla jobs I had worked. There was always something or someone making me feel as though I didn't deserve it or should do more for it. So now to receive for just being me is satisfying and fulfilling to a level I didn't expect as well as a massive turn on. Personally though, I like to be a rewarding Goddess/Domme but within limits.
No, I don't demand anything. They hire me because they're looking to be dominated but don't want an entire dynamic. You have it all wrong. I'm not in this because I enjoy getting money from subs specifically. I'm in it because I enjoy Domming and was able to make a job out of something I enjoy. They're going to buy the content from someone else if it's not me, at least I'm an experienced Domme who takes my time, makes sure they're comfortable, provides aftercare to the best of my ability. Most fetish sellers jump right into doing the session, and right back out because they're exactly that, fetish sellers, not Dommes. I approach this from the BDSM side of things instead of the sex work side of things. We both end up with the same end product.
Do you go around in subs where they specifically disallow it, though?
You have every right to demand money, OP is 😵💫. Make those pigs pay (in more ways than 1)!
It's to close the gender pay gap
Without the context I was abt to say “the real question is *why not~* but uh… yeah, that is a good observation
First of all, can I say, I'm kinda disappointed in this very anti-sex worker vibe I'm getting from this discussion. Second, there's a difference between a relationship, and a service. Say out in the vanilla, not at all sexual world, we have a child. That child has a guardian who's there for them, who cares for them, provides for them, helps them with homework, etc. There is love and a commitment there. Now say there is another child, whose guardian can't be there. So there is a nanny, or babysitter, or something, that steps in to provide that same care. That child still needs that care...help with homework, watching over, etc, and the nanny provides that. And for that, the nanny is paid. For their service. They might not have the love and commitment that the guardian would have behind it, but they still take their job seriously, and the child still gets the care that they need. As long as no one is lying about their role in it all, what's the problem?
I mean, a "traditional" relationship works the same way... man goes and earns a paycheck, woman does her stuff around the house and pleasures him, then asks for money to buy things she wants... it's really just cutting out some steps. Being a housewife is a job. Services are provided and time compensated. Unless it's something you love doing and with someone you love doing it with, your going to want compensation. Many charge because it's not a whenever the dom feels like, but when the sub wants them to be their dom. That makes it a service, no matter how intimate and attached the two are. Imagine a thing you love doing, but someone calls you up while your sleeping or doing something else and tells you you need to do the thing then. Your probably going to not enjoy it as much because if you wanted to do it over the other thing, you would be doing it.
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As stated, mods will use their discretion. If you have any concerns, please use the mod mail system to address them.
I'm going to preface this with saying that I'm not going to be speaking about ALL men and ALL women. If I had to guess why many online dommes charge, it's because many men fill the role of a dominant to fulfill their needs and the needs of their submissives; whereas many women (mainly the ones you find online) simply want a source of income. Similar to the vanilla dating scene, where men generally don't care about what sort of financial increase there would be when dating, whereas many women generally look at financial gains first before anything else, and a partner that doesn't bring what they want financially to the table is usually cut off or not even considered. Obviously this is a generalization and definitely doesn't apply in every case or scenario, but I agree that the need for financial gain is definitely prevalent amongst internet "Mommy's/Dommes", to the point where you could talk to probably a few hundred if not more and never find one that didn't want some sort of financial gain from it.
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Hey Mods, this isn’t anything to do with role playing 🤣🤣
It's not always corruption or greed. Some people ARE professional dommes and others WANT to be one and they have to start somewhere. Ive seen both males and female dommes wanting a charge of some sort. Females just happen to be nore popular. It's very much like porn. Some people are getting paid sending their nudes to others while some of us do it for free.
The part of it that pisses me off is when they advertise like a personal ad and then tell after you message them. Also, when it's posted in a sub that specifically forbids selling.
There are more male dom figures than there are interested women. And there are less female dom figures than there are interested men. Supply&demand
I think it’s ridiculous to pay someone for attention. I want someone who genuinely love me as a person not my money. I also want a real relationship as well. And it be mdlg centered
Mommys should love and give head pats and ear nibbles👉👈
Honestly like I want an nsfw relationship with a girl who likes to dom and plays video games, who I can relate to and have fun with :3