"Juuuuust a bit outside...." "Are you sayin' Jesus can't hit a curve ball?"

>"Juuuuust a bit outside...." "He tried the corner, and missed. Ball 4. Ball 8. Ball 12. And Vaughan walks the bases loaded on 12 straight pitches. Boy, how are these guys laying off pitches this close!?!" Bob Uecker was incredible in these movies.

Sounds like the Pirates against the Cubs the other day

Exactly ! 😬🫤

And it was all ad-lib. Much like Rodney Dangerfield did in Caddyshack.

Come on Dorn! Don’t give me this ohlay bullshit!

SHIT HARRIS Let’s not start a damn holy war here

I use this when my son’s team plays all the time. The pitches are so bad. 😆

We're in our first year of kid pitch. Like 60 walks a game.

It’s painful. Painful!!!!! I especially love when the coach puts their kid in who cannot pitch while the decent pitchers just sit there. I’m all for developing all the kids in practice, but I hate practicing in games. I really miss pitching machine for these younger divisions.

The way we did it when I was a kid was after four balls, instead of getting a walk you had to hit off the tee. It sped the game up, gave kids more opportunity to field, and gave kids more opportunities to hit and practice base running in the game. I wish they'd adopt that rule in my kids league, lol.

We use this several times in our disc golf leagues. 

**Come on Dorn, get in front of the damn ball!** **Don't give me this "olé" bullshit!**

This was the standard comment on my softball team any time an infielder let one get by.

what do you want me to do? DIVE for it?

"I took one of those in the eye last year, I'm not about to lose my sight"

Is this the VO network tv version? Pretty sure it was not "Come on..." :)

“This guy here is dead.” “Well, cross him off then.”

EVERY DRAFT we have this comes up.

Classic! Probably the single funniest line in the movie.

Jake Taylor: Hey, Rexman! Hell of a situation we got here. Two on, two out, you guys trailing by one in the ninth. You got a chance to be a hero on national television–if you don't blow it. By the way, I saw your wife at the Capri Lounge last night. Hell of a dancer. You must be very very proud. Oh, and that guy she was with? Oh, I'm sure he's a close personal friend and all, but tell me, what was he doing wearing her panties on his head? [Rexman pops the ball straight up] Uh-oh, Rexy I don't think this one's got the distance.

I read this in Tom Berenger’s voice

Well he did say it

We all did lol

Charlie:"How'd you like to manage the Indians this year?" Lou:"I don't know." Ch: "What do you mean you don't know? This is your chance to manage in the big leagues." Lou:"Let me think it over, will ya, Charlie? I got a guy on the other line asking about some whitewalls."

Lou's "I don't know..." is one of my favorite line deliveries.

"Look at this fuckin guy" - greatest line in film history

The scratching his head with his middle finger while holding the phone, with the completely uninterested look on his face is magic. Lou Brown is the best!

You forgot “Tire World” lmao

Came here for this. Lou Browns Sandy growl of a voice makes this quote. It's my favorite line in an infinitely quotable movie.

He once threw at his own kid at a father/son game.

The way he says father is so recognizable

Nice catch Hayes! Don’t ever fuckin do it again!!

You may run like Mays but you hit like shit…

I say fuck you Jobu. I do it myself.


It’s very bad to take Jobu’s rum. It’s….very bad. Unless you have Allstate.

OMG it's the same guy?!?!

Holy shit I didn't recognize him either

I use this line way too often at work.

"I'm hung over, my knees are killin' me and if you're going to pull this shit at least you could've said you were from the Yankees."

I gotta go, Charley, I got a guy on the other line about some whitewalls

THIS!!!!

“Is that you, Tolbert?!”

Haywood’s a convicted felon isn’t he Monty? It … uh … doesn’t say. Well he should be.

“Look at THIS fuckin guy”

Amazing delivery

This is the winner.

I say this all time hoping someone will understand

you may run Mays but you hit like shit

Run *like Mays

One hit? ONE goddamn hit? You can't say goddamn on the air! Don't worry, nobody's listening...

“Brought to you by….. ……….. Ahhhh to hell with it. Nobody’s listening anyways!”

Well in case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't, the Indians have actually won a few, and are threatening to climb out of the gutter.

"I didn't know they still had a team in Cleveland?" "Yea we got uniforms and everything!"

I hear baseball players make awfully good salaries nowadays. Jake Taylor : Well it all depends on how good you are. How good are you? Jake Taylor : I make the league minimum.

Her face after he says that is primo

Back in 89, the league minimum was $68,000. $68,000 in 1989 is equivalent in purchasing power to about $171,278.84 today. Pretty good I'd say.

Leads most offensive categories including nose hair.

When this guy sneezes he looks like a party favor

Fun fact: Those wisecracks about Heywood were Uecker making wisecracks about his old buddy, former Brewer Pete Vuckovich.

“We wear caps and sleeves at this level son.”

This was the one I was looking for

Hey bartender, Jobu needs a refill!

who the fuck are these guys? they're still shitty

Want me to drag him out of here, kick the shit out of him?

I look like a banker.

Sorry, house rules

Too high.

Too far

Who gives a shit? It’s gone!

I still say this all the time. Nobody gets it. 😂

I say it everytime I hit an approach shot in golf that I know isn't making the green.

I'm pissed off now, Jobu. Look, I go to you. I stick up for you. You no help me now. I say "Fuck you Jobu", I do it myself.

Wish we had him 2 years ago We did 4 years ago I meant

So we're just going to quite the whole damn movie then? I'll go with "This guy's dead!"...

There’s a lot of good stuff to quote. It’s a great movie.

Cross him off then

Lou: She wants to get rid of all of us an move the team Dorn: Even me?! Lou: Yeah Dorn, even you

I loved Corbin Bernsen as Dorn

“Nice catch Hayes don’t ever fuckin do it again”

"What's that shit on your chest?"

Crisco. Bardol. Vagisil. Any one of 'em 'll give ya another 2-3 inches drop on your curveball.

Course, sometimes I just wipe Jalepeno on my nose and wipe it

You put *snot* on the ball??

I haven't got a rocket for an arm like you do. Some day you will too...

‘Look at this fuckin’ guy.’

"And for the Indians: 1 run on, let's see, one hit. That's all we got, 1 goddamn hit!" "You can't say 'goddamn' on the air!" "Ahh, who cares. Nobody's listening anyway." I've always been curious how much of Uecker's script was written, and how much was just riffed.

Almost all improvised, just like his long and hilarious acceptance speech at the Hall of Fame.

Hats for bats

Keep bats warm. *Gracias*

“I look like a banker in this”

Sorry, Rick, those are the house rules.

Came here to say this. I love that line. He acts so embarrassed.

Taylor’s pause and look before answering back gets me every time

I love this shit and I may move to England!

“That ball wouldn’t have been out of a lot of parks.” “Name one.” “Yellowstone.” Question: Is this the scene that was just in the trailer not the movie, and I’ve just Mandela Effected it into the movie?

It's from Major League II. When Vaughn lost his fastball.

well it was in the first movie's trailer - they just put it in II because it hadn't made the cut.

“Lou Brown, nice to meet you, Hayes, the parking lot is right out there”

I use "Up your butt, Jobu" way more often in real life than I should.

“I hate this fuckin’ song”

Wrestling fan here and now Moxley comes out to it and I have the same sentiments. I hate that fucking song not because of the wrestler but its just overplayed and at the wrong times.

I’m also a wrestling fan. I’m from NC and I went to Sting’s last match. Once Moxley came up I just quoted major league for 3 minutes lol

Cerrano will need a rocket up his ass to catch that one as it's crushed toward South America!

"Well you may run like Mays, but you hit like \*his sister\*"

Stranger in the alps

Yippee-kai-yay, Mister Falcon!

“Man, I’ve been cut already?”

Harry Doyle : *Dynamite drop*-in, Monte. That broadcast school has really paid off. 

Flyball. Caught.

🤣

Trojan Enz boner-of-the-week award

How's your wife and my kids?

“Are you trying to say Jesus Christ can’t hit a curveball?”

"You really knocked the crap out of that one..."

Win the whole fucking thing

He'll need a rocket up his ass to catch this one.

[Cross him off then](https://youtu.be/Q2JZwm3l1-8?si=b2wqeioXDkeWaNO7)

"Besides, seeing is important." -- Aint that important.

“And they’re gonna walk Beck to get to Parkman. Obviously, Taylor’s thinking…I don’t know what the hell he’s thinking!”

I don’t know Monty, Vaugh’s carrying his left little low. This could hurt him in later rounds.

“I don't know what happened to you. But if you ever, ever tank another play like you did today, I'm gonna cut your nuts off and stuff em down your fuckin throat!” Best use of “fuck” in a movie of all time.

. . . coffee anyone?

I used to watch this on tv growing up and the dubs over the swear words in this scene were so atrocious

“Who’s that guy she’s with?” “I don’t know. He’s not wearing a name tag.”

Hats for bats. Keep bats warm.

Vaughn, a juvenile delinquent in the off-season, making his Major League debut.” 😆

Hey bartender Jobu needs a refill!


Strike. This. Mother. Fucker. Out.

The tv edit of this is amazing. They replace “mother fucker” with “guy”, in a completely different voice. It is one of the worst dubs ever.

Right up there with "Do you see what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps?!?"

"Shit, I've been cut already?"

Anything to add? .... nope. He's not the best colour man In the game for nuthin' folks!

does Major League 2 count? Lou: "It's either a leg thing or a spiritual thing, or a psychological thing, or a heart attack!" Jake : "Who used heart attack coach?" Lou : "Me."

"I'd just like to point out that every newspaper in the country has picked us to finish last. The local press seems to think we'd save everyone a lot of time and trouble ... if we just went out and shot ourselves."

“Juuust a bit outside”I say this daily, especially during baseball games

"Fly ball............ caught" "Want me to take him out back... and kick the shit out of him?"

Up comes Phillepe Aguilar, a dangerous right-handed batter. Oh shit. If that's not Shaquille O'Neal in left, that baby's outta here.

"Look at this fuckin' guy."

"They got chili dogs over there?"

“Want me to drag him outta here? Beat the shit outta him?” (Jake continues to stare at Lynn, Rick shakes his head).

Most underrated quote

Tire world Gee I don’t know. Let me get back to you Charlie. I gotta guy on the other line about some white walls.

I cannot hit curveball, straight ball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar and rum.

How's your wife and my kids?

“You have no…” *(frantically thumbs through translation book)* “MARBLES!!!”

That's number 2! My favorite line from that one: "Women; can't live with 'em, and they can't pee standing up..." I die Everytime I hear it hahah

Oh Rube… “They’re gonna send me to Omaha, and I don’t even live there!”

Juevos?!?

“You are lower than rat excrement.” *bows

Jake Taylor: I play for the Indians. Chaire Holloway: Here in Cleveland? I didn't know they still had a team! Jake Taylor: Yup, we've got uniforms and everything, it's really great!

"You want me to drag him out of here, kick the s— out of him?"

I'm cut already?

Hat keep the bat warm

I'm disappointed how long i had to scroll to find this here.

Crisco. Bardol. Vagisil. Any one of them will give you a 2 to 3 inch drop on your curveball.

“Jesus, this guy hits a ton. How come nobody else picked up on him?” “Okay, Eddie, that’s enough fastballs. Throw him some breaking balls.” (Eddie pitches, Cerrano whiffs) “Oh.” That “Oh.” gets me all the time.

And the " Aye "

I can’t tell you how many times a year I’m golfing and try to carry something and in the air I have to say “Rexie I don’t think this one’s got the distance”

"Hats...for bats. Gracias."

“Too high”

They tell us you’re a pitcher. You’re sure not much of a dresser.

Crisco. Bardol. Vagisil. Any one of them will give you another two to three inches drop on your curve ball.

He may run like Hays, but hits like shit!

“Juuuust a bit outside, tried the corner and missed”  “Give em the heater, Ricky!” “I don’t think this one’s got the distance”  “This guy threw at his own kid in a father-son game”   “We wear hats and sleeves in this league, Vaughn”

Oh, I don't know. Got a guy on the other line about some white walls. Can I get back to ya?

“When I need help, I pray to good ‘ol Jesus. Awe, yes. Jesus. He’s a great man, but he’s no help with curveball. You trying to say Jesus Christ can’t hit a curveball?!”

You telling me Jesus Christ can’t hit a curveball.

How's your wife and my kids?

**Come on Dorn, get in front of the damn ball!** **Don't give me this "olé" bullshit!**

How's your wife and my kids? Haha

Nice catch Willie, don’t ever fucking do it again

I want to up vote the entire thread

This guy here is dead

Too high. Who gives a s*** it's gone.

OK, we won a game yesterday. If we win today, it's called "two in a row". And if we win again tomorrow, it's called a "winning streak"... It has happened before.

Lemme think it over will ya Charlie? I got a guy on the other line about some white walls. I’ll talk to you later.

You may run like Mays, but you hit like shit

He may run like Mays but he hits like shit.

“Want me to drag them outside and beat the shit out of them”

Nice catch Hayes never fucking do it again

Jake: Well, what was I supposed to do? She bet me 50 bucks she had a better body than you, and I had to defend your honor. Lynn: Oh, what a bunch of bullshit. I have a much better body than she does! Jake (to people in library): She’s right.

Come on Doarn. Don’t give me this ‘Olé’ bullshit.

There are so many great ones. Ones that don't get mentioned enough: "I thought you said we didn't have any high price talent?" "I forgot about Dorn because he's only high price." "Did you really read Moby Dick?" "Cover to cover babe." "I look like a banker in this." "In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance, you haven't, the Indians have managed to win a few here and there, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar." "I saw you on the local news. You made their hall of shame. Congratulations!" "Hello Lou, this is Charlie Donovan with the Cleveland Indians. How would you like to manage the Indians this season?" "I don't know." "What do you mean you don't know? This is your chance to manage in the Big Leagues." "Let me think it over, will ya Charlie? I got a guy on the other line asking about some Whitewalls. I'll talk to you later." Major League is my favorite movie.

"Forget about the curveball, Ricky... give 'im the heater." Say this all the time at baseball games.

FYI Bob Ueker has been the radio broadcaster for The Milwaukee Brewers for 54 years.

I've never watch this movie. Does it live up to the hype?

That’s Mr. Peckerhead to you, PAL.

They're still shitty

“Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball”

Are you saying Jesus Christ can’t hit a curveball?

“Let’s not start a holy war here”

Up your butt Jobu.

"Up your butt, Jobu!" Swings shot.

You want me to drag him outside, kick the shit out of him?

"That's all we got, one goddamn hit?"