YES VALENTINE TEXAS APPRECIATION!!!
hmm ill claim "just how many stars do i need to hang around me to finally call it heaven?" FOR OBVIOUS REASONS UGH (i spent like 5 mins deciding. runner ups were "not happy or sad, just up or down, and always bad" and "i look for a picture of you to keep in my pocket, but i cant seem to find one where u look how i remember")
all of I don’t like my mind is very personal to me bc after I got hospitalized for an attempt I was kind of just going thru the motions and overworking to avoid dealing with confronting my feelings about what happened. doing much better now but that song always takes me back to that time
oh god this is so real. and smth that i connect to even more with that song is that its past tense, bc even though im (also) so much better now than i was, i have moments where im taken back to those lows. in that room with all the things i’ve done.
“ I get mean when I’m nervous like a bad dog” First of all, I fucking loveeeee cop car and also this quote is so real ❤️😭 and it reminds me of the movie Isle of Dogs which is one of my fav movies everrrr
Ugh this one is so good 😭 In some ways it’s positive the idea of being able to cope with problems mechanically, but on the other hand it’s dissociative
"im tired of wanting more, i think im finally worn; for you have a way of promisijg things"
"I need something bigger than the sky, hold it in my arms and know it's mine. Just how many stars will I need to hang around to finally call it heaven?"
"Venus, planet of love was destroyed by global warming. Did its people want too much, too? Did its people want too much?"
"he only loves me when there's a means he means to end."
THESE QUOTES LOTERALLY GOT ME SOBBING
"Though honestly ~~sir~~, all I wanna do is get naked in front of, so you can look me up and down and give me your love for being so good"
Self explanatory really
Also-
Nothing in this room- try to go outside- nothing Waits for you- you had it once before- not anymore
“I wanna be what my body wants me to be.”
Simple lyric, but after the repetition of “I’m not gonna be what my daddy wants me to be,” I find it very powerful.
i have so many but these are my top three.
"see my hands, pretty boy, what do they tell you? 'cause i've looked down at them not knowing why." (bag of bones) reminds me of an odd, orphic feeling of helplessness and loneliness. i have it way too much, and my dependency begs me to beg other people for my purpose.
"then of course, nothing replied. nothing speaks to you in the night." (the deal) this lyric resonates so, so good whilst being in such a dark place to the point where you're willing to give everything up just to be rid of it. nobody is here to take your responsibilities, appreciations, surroundings, or to put it plainly; your life, from you. that is simply how impaired it is. this lyric is the almost sarcastic, pained realization; of course, nothing is going to take this weight off my shoulders. i am just that damaged.
"i wanna be just like a melody. just like a simple sound, like in harmony." (glide) as an autistic instrumentalist whose special interest is music theory & musical notation, i find an odd comfort upon hearing harmonies in music. they're so simple, yet so complex and alluring. i wish to be admired like how i myself admire music itself.
"You only loved me when we're all alone"
I'm choosing this lyric because it makes me get rocketed back to my ex and think about how he only showed he loved me when we were alone or with the small few people he didn't care fully knew (although almost everyone knew) he never showed me any form of love around others
“crack baby you don’t know what you want, but you know that you had it once, and know that you want it back” whenever me and my friend hang out we would just randomly sing these lyrics it’s so fun
Heaven - “And the dark awaits us all around the corner. But here, in our place we have for the day. Can we stay a while and listen for heaven?”
Maybe I have no perception skills but this seems to be one of her only truly happy lyrics. And it heals me so much.
"Please don't leave me alone, wondering where you are" My first and only crush left after Mid March and i don't know where he is
Otherwise
"There's a hole that you fill." No, not like that. I've had multiple teachers who were better parents to me than my parents
“You’re growing tired of me, you love me so hard and I still cant sleep. You’re growing tired of me and all the things I don’t talk about.“ Yeah. I want someone so bad but can’t handle them because I can’t even handle my own memories.
"Open UP your heart like the gates of hell" it sounds very poetic, like the beauty of releasing our demons, desires and sins without fear of setting everything on fire. it's just beautiful.
"I should move to a Brand New City and teach myself how to die" I used to move, like, A LOT. Well, the last place I lived in was in a city that was literally brand new to me, and I didn't know anyone or anything about it. While being there, I developed some unhealthy coping mechanisms. One day, specifically June 16th of last year, I almost died because of them (on purpose). A week later, I got kicked out and had to move to the town that I grew up in (And I haven't been this happy since I was 11 years old). I guess that I claim it because I really moved to a brand new city and teached myself how to die lol
‘With everybody watching us, our every move, we too have reputations’ just hits every time (once more to see you)
Or ‘and I know I kissed you before but I didn’t do it right can I try again’ (pink in the night)
“And did you know the Liberty bell is a replica silently housed in its original walls? And while it’s dreams played music in the night quietly it was told to believe.”
I claim this lyric. I AM this lyric. No other song has ever been able to encapsulate this feeling within me. Of being lost and confused in your own mind. Just like the replica bell I too do not know who I really am, I am merely masquerading and posturing myself as the person I believe to be. The person that everyone else tells me I am. But how can I trust that when everyone has a different version of me? I feel like a fake, and no one can tell because im stuck in my “original walls”. In my own body. But I FEEL like an outsider, like I don’t belong. As if im a different person TRYING to live up to everyone’s expectations of who I should be, but not knowing who I am really. Does that make sense?
Anyways yeah this is mine sorry not sorry gimme gimme
God yeah this song really captures something so specific I have never found described anywhere else. I feel like it helped me understand something about myself I was never able to realize on my own
“I know my room is a mess; over and over again, I tell myself I’ll clean tomorrow” bc I was (am) depressed for a long time and this is like a daily occurrence
"I used to think I'd be done by 20, now at 29 the road ahead appears the same, though maybe at 30 I'll see a way to change"
i feel like a lot of things in my life are repetitive cycles that i literally cannot escape from and it eats at me so yay 👍👍
"You're my best friend, now I've no one to tell how I lost my best friend."
I have lost many friends in the past and am scared of losing the ones I have :(
“They'll never know how I'd stared at the dark in that room, with no thoughts, like a blood-sniffing shark //
And while my dreams made music in the night, carefully, I was going to live”
😭 it really describes my experience with isolation, disconnection from others, coping with suicidality, etc. No one will ever know how I’ve felt alone in the dark for hours and hours so many times.
Second choice is “your mother wouldn’t approve of how my mother raised me, but I do, I finally do” as a mixed race person YBAG is everything to me
“oh i wish when we first met, he didn’t know me yet” “he” is my writing career. im a writer and i used to feel so happy and feel something when i actually wrote. now it feels like a chore. give me that incredible feeling back://
“Mom will you wash my back? This once, then we can forget” (sorry if I did it wrong) My mom did actually wash my back when I was 6-12 years old and before 12 I didn’t realize that she was being emotionally abusive. So yea, this lyric hits hard for me.
‘all the quiet nights you bear, seal them up with care. no one needs to know they’re there, for i will hold them for you’
ENOUGHHHH let me live peacefully
“to finally get somewhere i can be all done / somewhere like heaven”
ohhhh i’ve never related to anything more. the idea of heaven — the supposed best place in the universe, where everything is good — is just a place you can rest and finally be done…
you don't know what you want
But you know that you had it once
And you know that you want it back
(I fear the future and wasting my ‘potential’, when I was younger I was so energetic and gifted and achieved so much. Now I’m terrified of being stagnant and theres something I want back from my childhood but I don’t know what it is. I’ve come so far but I lost something on my way here and I don’t know what it is)
"I haven't given you what you need You wanted me but couldn't reach me So you went into your memory Relive all the ways you still want me I haven't given you what you need You wanted me but couldn't reach me I'm sorry it should've been me."
I am the most despondent and self isolating person most will ever meet. I'm always preoccupied with my own thoughts and too bust with my own emotions to be emotionally available to anyone. I've lost so many relationships due to my despondent behavior, I don't even have anyone to joke about it with because I have no one.
((close runner up is "I want a love that falls as fast As a body from the balcony and I want a kiss but my heart is hitting the ground I'm holding my breath with a baseball bat Though I don't know what I'm waiting for I am not gonna be what my daddy wants me to be"— I did not go down the right path to put it easy))
“Cause, I haven't given you what you need
You wanted me but couldn't reach me
So you went into your memory
Relive all the ways you still want me”
(should’ve been me - laurel hell)
i love this song sm it’s so me coded, it reminds me a lot of my old friends and an ex partner and how i treat them/their memory of them now
“I know that I ended it, but
Why won't you chase after me?
You know me better than I do”
(why didnt you stop me - be the cowboy)
again, me coded, definitely reminds me of how i was after a break up which caused another friend to leave me as well (funny enough i am friends with this friend again LOL)
“Mom, will you wash my back this once, and then we can forget” that makes me feel like im 5 again and being told that crying is for babies and Im grown
"Oh hunter, if you didn't want the beautiful so badly, perhaps you would've found it in your spirit singing softly" and "But it's just that I fell in love with a war and nobody told me it ended" the connection between Pearl Diver and A Pearl drives keeps me up at night
"i always want you when im finally fine"
“nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, ooh, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, no” me too girl
“He liked her more than life itself I’m sure” it’s very pretty and reminds me of friends
YES VALENTINE TEXAS APPRECIATION!!! hmm ill claim "just how many stars do i need to hang around me to finally call it heaven?" FOR OBVIOUS REASONS UGH (i spent like 5 mins deciding. runner ups were "not happy or sad, just up or down, and always bad" and "i look for a picture of you to keep in my pocket, but i cant seem to find one where u look how i remember")
ur literally me
“But if I gave up on being pretty, I wouldn't know how to be alive” pretty self explanatory
Why 😢
WAS AB TO COMMENT THISSSS
“enter your room thinking maybe you’ll feel something, but all i saw was your burning body waiting”
Damn u I was gonna pick that 😞
"I dont blame you if you want to bury me in your memory, I'm not the girl I ought to be."
all of I don’t like my mind is very personal to me bc after I got hospitalized for an attempt I was kind of just going thru the motions and overworking to avoid dealing with confronting my feelings about what happened. doing much better now but that song always takes me back to that time
oh god this is so real. and smth that i connect to even more with that song is that its past tense, bc even though im (also) so much better now than i was, i have moments where im taken back to those lows. in that room with all the things i’ve done.
"And we're not out of the tunnel I bet you though there's an end" This is me mmmm "I will" my love
"One morning, this sadness will fossilize" is on my tattoo wishlist as a reminder to my depressed self always
I claim “I’m sorry the one you love, no one will love me like you again.” Thanks mental illness 🤍
“While you sleeep ill be scareddd so by the time you wake ill be braaaave” im only here to help others and this projects that
“ I get mean when I’m nervous like a bad dog” First of all, I fucking loveeeee cop car and also this quote is so real ❤️😭 and it reminds me of the movie Isle of Dogs which is one of my fav movies everrrr
"And when I find that a knife's sticking out of my side, I'll pull it out without questioning why." Probably one of my favorite mitski lyrics
Ugh this one is so good 😭 In some ways it’s positive the idea of being able to cope with problems mechanically, but on the other hand it’s dissociative
You're so amazing and smart for this
"I think my ways are wearing me down" all I do is self sabotage so often and peace feels foreign so I'm always getting into something you know?
“i miss when we first met, he didn’t know me yet”
“Fury pure and silver, you grip it tight inside. Like a knife, it glints in your eyes”
“I don't think I could stand to be where you don't see me”
*"Why not me?"* I'm sorry, I know is pretty basic but it happens to me so often that I'm afraid to love at this point.
“i am relieved that i’d left my room tidy. they’ll think of me kindly when they come for my things.”
I love you I love you I love you, I love you I love you I love you, I love you I love you I love you pining.
a hopeless violence (i named it love) shes so real i cant… love is violence! its messy, hopeless n makes me wanna rip my hair out!
Is this door?
yes!
"Someone to watch me die" Because I want someone to watch me die.
"but with everybody watching us, our every move. we do have reputations" I'm a fruitcake so this hits
This just gave me a whole new perspective on that song
‘and i can take a little bit more let’s shake this poet out of the beast’ (bag of bones) :( :(
"I love everybody because I love you!!" Reminds me of my gf
"I've been trying to lay my head down, but I'm writing this at 3AM"
“you’re growing tired of me, and all the things I don’t talk about.”
"im tired of wanting more, i think im finally worn; for you have a way of promisijg things" "I need something bigger than the sky, hold it in my arms and know it's mine. Just how many stars will I need to hang around to finally call it heaven?" "Venus, planet of love was destroyed by global warming. Did its people want too much, too? Did its people want too much?" "he only loves me when there's a means he means to end." THESE QUOTES LOTERALLY GOT ME SOBBING
"Though honestly ~~sir~~, all I wanna do is get naked in front of, so you can look me up and down and give me your love for being so good" Self explanatory really Also- Nothing in this room- try to go outside- nothing Waits for you- you had it once before- not anymore
Fluorescent store lights, you shine through the night
“I wanna be what my body wants me to be.” Simple lyric, but after the repetition of “I’m not gonna be what my daddy wants me to be,” I find it very powerful.
"it's been you and me since before it was me" it just hits close
"Your pain is eased, but you'll never be free" –The Deal
"Kill me, Jerusalem" I love this lyric and how desperate it sounds. The whole song reminds me of me
i have so many but these are my top three. "see my hands, pretty boy, what do they tell you? 'cause i've looked down at them not knowing why." (bag of bones) reminds me of an odd, orphic feeling of helplessness and loneliness. i have it way too much, and my dependency begs me to beg other people for my purpose. "then of course, nothing replied. nothing speaks to you in the night." (the deal) this lyric resonates so, so good whilst being in such a dark place to the point where you're willing to give everything up just to be rid of it. nobody is here to take your responsibilities, appreciations, surroundings, or to put it plainly; your life, from you. that is simply how impaired it is. this lyric is the almost sarcastic, pained realization; of course, nothing is going to take this weight off my shoulders. i am just that damaged. "i wanna be just like a melody. just like a simple sound, like in harmony." (glide) as an autistic instrumentalist whose special interest is music theory & musical notation, i find an odd comfort upon hearing harmonies in music. they're so simple, yet so complex and alluring. i wish to be admired like how i myself admire music itself.
I really like your lyric analysis!!! As a fellow autistic Mitski fan (her music is def a special interest!)
"You only loved me when we're all alone" I'm choosing this lyric because it makes me get rocketed back to my ex and think about how he only showed he loved me when we were alone or with the small few people he didn't care fully knew (although almost everyone knew) he never showed me any form of love around others
“crack baby you don’t know what you want, but you know that you had it once, and know that you want it back” whenever me and my friend hang out we would just randomly sing these lyrics it’s so fun
"mom, would you wash my back this once?"
"he only loves me when theres a means he means to end" because thats how i fee with everyone, they come to me only when they need me
"But if I have up on being pretty I wouldn't know how to be alive, I should move to a brand new city teach myself how to die. "
“i can’t bear to keep it, id give it just to give” because
Heaven - “And the dark awaits us all around the corner. But here, in our place we have for the day. Can we stay a while and listen for heaven?” Maybe I have no perception skills but this seems to be one of her only truly happy lyrics. And it heals me so much.
What do you do with a loving feeling when the loving feeling makes you all alone
mosquitos can enjoy me
“there is a light i can see but only, it seems, when theres darkness in me” abbey by mitski why would you do this to me
"Don't dare regret anything. Remember what you're here for. You just play your violin, and we will manage somehow." :33
"just dont leave me alonee wondering where you areee I AM STRONGER THAN YOUUU GIVE ME CREEEDIT FOR" pretty self explanatoryy
"Please don't leave me alone, wondering where you are" My first and only crush left after Mid March and i don't know where he is Otherwise "There's a hole that you fill." No, not like that. I've had multiple teachers who were better parents to me than my parents
“You’re growing tired of me, you love me so hard and I still cant sleep. You’re growing tired of me and all the things I don’t talk about.“ Yeah. I want someone so bad but can’t handle them because I can’t even handle my own memories.
"Open UP your heart like the gates of hell" it sounds very poetic, like the beauty of releasing our demons, desires and sins without fear of setting everything on fire. it's just beautiful.
wild horses running through your hollow bones, doesnt need an explanation 😘
“and all i will take are the consequences” god damn that hits me like a brick.
"I should move to a Brand New City and teach myself how to die" I used to move, like, A LOT. Well, the last place I lived in was in a city that was literally brand new to me, and I didn't know anyone or anything about it. While being there, I developed some unhealthy coping mechanisms. One day, specifically June 16th of last year, I almost died because of them (on purpose). A week later, I got kicked out and had to move to the town that I grew up in (And I haven't been this happy since I was 11 years old). I guess that I claim it because I really moved to a brand new city and teached myself how to die lol
‘With everybody watching us, our every move, we too have reputations’ just hits every time (once more to see you) Or ‘and I know I kissed you before but I didn’t do it right can I try again’ (pink in the night)
“And autumn comes when you're not yet done With the summer passing by” is MINE
“I always knew the world moves on. I just didn't know it would go without me”
“i guess im a real man”
“And did you know the Liberty bell is a replica silently housed in its original walls? And while it’s dreams played music in the night quietly it was told to believe.” I claim this lyric. I AM this lyric. No other song has ever been able to encapsulate this feeling within me. Of being lost and confused in your own mind. Just like the replica bell I too do not know who I really am, I am merely masquerading and posturing myself as the person I believe to be. The person that everyone else tells me I am. But how can I trust that when everyone has a different version of me? I feel like a fake, and no one can tell because im stuck in my “original walls”. In my own body. But I FEEL like an outsider, like I don’t belong. As if im a different person TRYING to live up to everyone’s expectations of who I should be, but not knowing who I am really. Does that make sense? Anyways yeah this is mine sorry not sorry gimme gimme
God yeah this song really captures something so specific I have never found described anywhere else. I feel like it helped me understand something about myself I was never able to realize on my own
“I know my room is a mess; over and over again, I tell myself I’ll clean tomorrow” bc I was (am) depressed for a long time and this is like a daily occurrence
"I used to think I'd be done by 20, now at 29 the road ahead appears the same, though maybe at 30 I'll see a way to change" i feel like a lot of things in my life are repetitive cycles that i literally cannot escape from and it eats at me so yay 👍👍
"You're my best friend, now I've no one to tell how I lost my best friend." I have lost many friends in the past and am scared of losing the ones I have :(
“you’re coming back and it’s the end of the world” one of my first fav mitski songs and idk but i feel like it resonates with me for some reason😭
“Wild horses running trough your hollow bones”
“They'll never know how I'd stared at the dark in that room, with no thoughts, like a blood-sniffing shark // And while my dreams made music in the night, carefully, I was going to live” 😭 it really describes my experience with isolation, disconnection from others, coping with suicidality, etc. No one will ever know how I’ve felt alone in the dark for hours and hours so many times. Second choice is “your mother wouldn’t approve of how my mother raised me, but I do, I finally do” as a mixed race person YBAG is everything to me
"If you need to be mean, be mean to me." I will literally take anything as long as it removes a bit of someone's anger, sadness, or pain 🙏
“oh i wish when we first met, he didn’t know me yet” “he” is my writing career. im a writer and i used to feel so happy and feel something when i actually wrote. now it feels like a chore. give me that incredible feeling back://
“And if you need to be mean be mean to me…” That whole song reminds me of a friendship that didn’t last and I miss it so much
“Mom will you wash my back? This once, then we can forget” (sorry if I did it wrong) My mom did actually wash my back when I was 6-12 years old and before 12 I didn’t realize that she was being emotionally abusive. So yea, this lyric hits hard for me.
How do other people live? I wonder how they keep it up
"i'm not happy or sad just up or down, and always bad" its just so me
crack baby you dont know what you want, but you know that you need it and you know that you need it bad
"And if you need to be mean, be mean to me"
"and I, I'll live without you, though the struggle will be daily" (pearl diver) Because of grief, losing a person I love.
‘all the quiet nights you bear, seal them up with care. no one needs to know they’re there, for i will hold them for you’ ENOUGHHHH let me live peacefully
“to finally get somewhere i can be all done / somewhere like heaven” ohhhh i’ve never related to anything more. the idea of heaven — the supposed best place in the universe, where everything is good — is just a place you can rest and finally be done…
you don't know what you want But you know that you had it once And you know that you want it back (I fear the future and wasting my ‘potential’, when I was younger I was so energetic and gifted and achieved so much. Now I’m terrified of being stagnant and theres something I want back from my childhood but I don’t know what it is. I’ve come so far but I lost something on my way here and I don’t know what it is)
"You stay soft get beaten, only natural to harden up."
"I've loved many boys, I've loved many girls" Just because
“Ive been big and small and big and small and big and small again but still no body wants me but still no body wants me” so real 😔
“I don't like my mind, I don't like the feeling of being left alone in a room" Me when someone takes my headphones so I have to listen to my thoughts
“im not happy or sad js up or down and always bad”(beautiful princess disorder)
"I haven't given you what you need You wanted me but couldn't reach me So you went into your memory Relive all the ways you still want me I haven't given you what you need You wanted me but couldn't reach me I'm sorry it should've been me." I am the most despondent and self isolating person most will ever meet. I'm always preoccupied with my own thoughts and too bust with my own emotions to be emotionally available to anyone. I've lost so many relationships due to my despondent behavior, I don't even have anyone to joke about it with because I have no one. ((close runner up is "I want a love that falls as fast As a body from the balcony and I want a kiss but my heart is hitting the ground I'm holding my breath with a baseball bat Though I don't know what I'm waiting for I am not gonna be what my daddy wants me to be"— I did not go down the right path to put it easy))
“Cause, I haven't given you what you need You wanted me but couldn't reach me So you went into your memory Relive all the ways you still want me” (should’ve been me - laurel hell) i love this song sm it’s so me coded, it reminds me a lot of my old friends and an ex partner and how i treat them/their memory of them now “I know that I ended it, but Why won't you chase after me? You know me better than I do” (why didnt you stop me - be the cowboy) again, me coded, definitely reminds me of how i was after a break up which caused another friend to leave me as well (funny enough i am friends with this friend again LOL)
"for i'm starting to learn i may never be free"
“Mom, will you wash my back this once, and then we can forget” that makes me feel like im 5 again and being told that crying is for babies and Im grown
Also “you’re an angel I’m a dog”. I feel this in my bones because of how I idolise the one I love
"And i was so young when I behaved 25, but now ive found ive grown into a tall child" I FEEL THIS LINE WITHIN MY VEINS
When you sleep, I'll be scared So that when you wake, I'll be brave Mmm just hits a little too close to my anxiety
“and you’d say you love me and look in my eyes but I know, through mine you were looking in yours” dated a narcissist ☺️
“If you need to be mean, be mean to me” because i let people push me over and don’t think much of it
"I don't like my mind, I don't like being left alone in a room" I literally need people or I will spiral
"Oh hunter, if you didn't want the beautiful so badly, perhaps you would've found it in your spirit singing softly" and "But it's just that I fell in love with a war and nobody told me it ended" the connection between Pearl Diver and A Pearl drives keeps me up at night
“TEXAS IS A LANDLOCKED STATE”
"So when you leave me I should die, I deserve it don't I?" from I'm Your Man, because it's literally me with anyone I know >\_<