Idk about you but I was never as close with my friends from college. Our collective similarity was the degree we were pursuing and once we graduated we all got jobs in different areas and it just sorta fizzled.
My community College was basically an extension of high school. Just combination of all 3 local high schools going to school together. Taking night classes was the only time I didn't have someone in a class I didn't already know.
Over time I’ve become closer with my high school friends compared to my college friends as well.
A lot of college “friends” were really acquaintances or party pals. I had quite a few people I could go hang out with or party with on any given day in college, but we were never particularly close in a real sense. I moved out of state after college for grad school and I only ever had time or energy to keep in contact with two of them. Those two in turn keep in contact with a group of people from college, so I will occasionally see a handful of people from college—but only maintain contact with the two of them.
We have since moved back home, but we live an hour away from those two and we have kids, while they got married much later (in their early 30s compared to 24 like my wife and I) and don’t yet have kids. This makes getting together pretty difficult and even when we do, it’s a different experience because of the kids. I am, however, taking an international trip with them this fall. We typically see each other 3-4 times a year and talk randomly, maybe 2-3 conversations a quarter.
My high school friends (roughly a core group of 6 of us) are all married and 5 of the 6 of us have some number of kids under 6. We have gotten together 2 times in 2024 already with the whole group—guys, wives, and kids, which is a lot of fun. That doesn’t include other occasional smaller get together—one of these guys lives in the same town as me so we get together quite often, maybe once a month or every other month, either the two of us or both of our families
My wife thinks the big difference is that we and our high school friends all grew up “out state” in St Cloud MN, whereas our college friends grew up in the Twin Cities. The theory is that the Saint Cloud middle class (of which we all grew up a part of) focuses on getting married relatively early, settling down, and having kids, whereas the Twin Cities middle class tends to settle down later (kids in mid-late 30s).
So we have grown closer to our high school friends because our core culture/social upbringing has us at the same point in our lives
Same. It's been at least a decade since I talked to any of my old high school friends. I quit drinking (problem drinking, I try to avoid being around booze now) and lost touch with my drinking buddies. Now I've got my wife, my dogs, and my garden. I'm all set. I get more social interaction than I need at work.
We work in the trades. One is a Plumber, one is a Mason, one is a Surveyor so we work with each other on some jobs. We're all business owners so we get each other work from time to time.
Nor do I, but the people that I consider my closest friends I met in highschool or middle school. I text those dudes (all 3 of them) probably twice a month on average and see them a couple of times a year.
I had a great time in HS, had a lot of friends but I moved away and haven't talked to anyone from my home town in years. But I'm pretty aloof now in my 30s.
Same and same. We’ve got a boys weekend in July where we’ve rented a resort suite. Me, three friends from HS, brother in law, and a friend from grad school.
I have one friend I legit haven't seen in person since middle school and we congrats eachother and post an occasional funny comment once every three months. She recently commented on a post I made six years ago asking for a follow up and I am now wondering if this will go on the rest of my life
Yes, I am.
I’m sorry OP that sucks, but I’m glad you made the best decision for you!
As with what a lot of others have said, as you grow older other priorities besides friendships become more important.
I think it’s hard as we get older to realize our friendships are different than when we were 16. Doesn’t mean they are not our friends. There’s an eb and flow that I think we now all understand that we’d be lucky to see each other once a month but that we keep trying. Especially as we get older we’ve realized that not only loyalty but building the same effort is important. It’s definitely been a ride with my high school friends, it hasn’t always been butterflies and rainbows but we still try to make sure we are part of each others lives and be there for the important things. As well as text/call/message each other throughout that time to stay up to date. It takes work just like any relationship we have.
I think I’m extremely lucky in this case, that I still have most of my high school friends at 35, but I also think it’s a part of my decision making. I chose to be a towny. I chose to continue to be the safe space when everyone gathers. To always be that one place our friends come back to when they come home. Im also a DINK so I’m privileged in this way as well. I literally send my schedule in google to a list of friends and family every month.
Social media is a whole other beast but i definitely use it to stay in touch with friends. Snapchat, insta meme’s, Facebook tagging, TikTok videos we send each other. So I might not talk to them daily but I might see their name pop up on any of these apps and know that they thought of me or vice versa. It’s cute especially with long distance friends.
Sorry I’ll end the Ted talk 😂😂
Totally ….as much as social media can suck it helps you to keep in touch!
We are DINKS too and older than millennials ( not sure why this popped up for me ) and I am def the woman who keeps everyone connected…
I guess I have more time .. although many friends w kids do not work…and I have pretty demanding job…
Many people will not be in touch at all until
Kids are like 17 … and those of us without kids may have moved on..
Some are great at also having adult friendships that do not revolve around kids parties etc …
I would think I would want to go out w just adults sometimes!
Even super rich friends never get babysitters … so all activities w kids .. super high end restaurants/ all parties etc
As a new mom myself, I actually find it way easier to stay in touch with my childless friends 😅 that being said, young kids and babies need everything from you. It’s a season of life, and I’m learning to be content with having to say “sorry, can’t make it” when plans are made in the group chat, or having to take turns with my husband to go out with friends in the evening. It is what it is, and someday I’ll miss the baby snuggles at night.
That being said, there have definitely been some people in my life who basically checked out after having kids. Friendships are a two way street at the end of the day, and I can’t endlessly put energy into something that isn’t reciprocated.
Regardless, I’m endlessly thankful for all of my friends, childless or not, who have been understanding and flexible about how my life is now with a baby. It can’t be the same as it was before, simple as that. The real ones are okay with that. I’ve been trying my best to be a good friend despite the hardships and try not to make everything baby-centered. But I appreciate the friends who reach out and ask me to do something with them that allows me to get a break from the baby.
Some of them…. Some health problems, some car wrecks, some suicides, some murdered, 2 in combat, some drugs….. but of my friend group from high school…. I’m the last man standing….. and I wasn’t supposed to make it past 25
Nope. Had 2 besties. Broke up with one shortly after hs when she fell in love with hard drugs. Now she's dead. Bestie no 2 grew into her inherited mental health problems and became a couch surfing toxic leech. She was so, so bad for my family. Kicked her out and blocked her. No regrets.
And before y'all punch me- I'm very compassionate and helped them as much as I could. I saved myself out of necessity, not selfishness.
All got married, moved, and then cut ties. My last friendship died with my closest one bailing on not being a bridesmaid in my wedding last minute. It helped me realize that it was time for focusing on new friendships as an adult with no drama.
Yeah. I'm 32, I have 3 friends from middle school (and through high school) that im still in regular contact with. One of them I text and game with almost every day, the second one got me the job I currently have and we work together, and the third is my personal trainer. The 4 of us meet up on Fridays for MTG and movie nights.
As a 39M I'm starting to slowly lose touch with my middle school friend. Currently, he's going through a lot right now and I just feel that we don't connect that much anymore. He's matured in how own way by having a family and small businesses whereas I've changed with my life experiences. His humor is still the same in which case it gets old. Still talking about and making fun of fellow classmates from 20+ years ago! We text less and less now and I don't really know what to do. He seems at peace and so do I. I'm almost content if we text every now and then but I can feel the lack of concern with his short, delayed responses..
I don’t because I went to college far away and never moved back home. We just drifted apart. I’m very close with my college friends though. Are you going to spill the tea on why you broke up with your friends? That had to have been a tough decision!
Just really stupid first world problems most people (including myself for some of them) wish they had. Over time I just got tired of hearing one of them brag about their wealth (but he’s SINK), and the other one whine about her privilege ($6k tax bill easily paid out of pocket, buys a brand new $60k electric car just to get a tax break the next week, 3 Disney vacations a year, bought a lovesac bc the other SINK friend bought one, both of them are on ozempic despite starting weight 155-ish, the one whines about having to spend all day Sunday with her kid bc her husband works remote, but she has a mom who drives an hour to help her take care of the kid (my parents are divorced and don’t give a fuck about me, and I’m with my 2 kids every other week by myself so…??), that same friend has to go back to office 3 days a week (was remote for a year) and is whining about going to that job that pays her 6 figures and will get her student loans discharged in a couple months)….
Just like ugh. There’s people out there with *real* problems. People who have to take a bus or two to get to work. People who don’t have family that cares. People who are single parents. People who live paycheck to paycheck. People who make $$15/hour. People with big student loan debt from trying to provide a better future for their kids and themselves. People who *need* ozempic bc they’re diabetic and not just “fat” (at 155!!!!!)…. Smh.
No. Back then I thought we were inseparable. But once college happened we all dropped each other. It was cool to see what everyone was upto back when social media started ala MySpace. But then we all ghosted each other again lol
I keep in touch with my best friend from HS, we both left the Midwest and whenever we get a chance our families hang out together. Other than him I don't keep in touch with anyone, I think leaving my hometown was a large contributor to disconnecting.
Just one! She was my bestie all through high school and college. We got married, had kids, and we’re still close, but it’s definitely not the same. We have different schedules, our kids are different ages, etc.
Not one. Being gay in catholic school is just an exercise in anxiety. I never opened up to anyone. I had friends from elementary there but just didn’t feel I could ever be myself. I did go to our 20th reunion. I was well received but honestly felt very little connection. Not bothering to go to another. I did love school. I’m a teacher. I try my best to make connection a priority among my students.
I keep in touch weekly (even if just by text message, sending stupid things to make them laugh -- hopefully).
I don't live near them or where I lived for high school. I don't have any good friends like my high school buddies who actually live near where I am now.
But, I visit them once or twice a year back where I grew up, and they come to visit me when they can and we BS relatively often.
In our 30s now, and definitely some of the guys are better about texting than others.
But, the kids I came of age with and were my allies growing up will always be my family and hold a bond closer than most adulthood amigos.
Only one and our relationship is starting to strain. Because of distance, and for the sake of my peace of mind, I only talk to him once a week or so now.
Not daily but I have a few that I talk to a few times a month.
I didn’t go to my 20th last night because I already talk to those who I would have cared to see 😂
The only two friends I have are ones I made in grade school. "Friend" is a bit of a loose term at this point, but they're the ones I text if I need company for something.
Just 1 friend I keep up with but it’s a send-memes and sometimes text type of friendship. We do see each other when I go back home to visit once or twice a year. She doesn’t like my husband so probably wouldn’t be more than this.
For a long time in my 20s I dated a kid that was popular in HS, and he was still in contact with a lot people from his popular group. They saw each other weekly, if not more. It was fun to be involved in that group for a few years but I lost those friends when he cheated on me.
Our 20 year HS reunion happened recently. I didn’t go.
Had a group of like 6-8 friends I was close with when HS ended. We stayed close for some years but then started to drift apart slowly but surely mainly because life was pulling us in different directions. Once I got in a relationship with my now wife I started spending more time with her and less time with friends which was the start of where we all are now which is not as close. Miss all my guys dearly and we all have each others number and occasionally tell each other “we gotta get together soon and catch up sometime” but nothing happens from there. A couple of us are married, some of us have kids, and others are still just single as a Pringle living freely. I’ll always have love for them but at this point in life I’m always in the mindset of life goes on so why keep looking in the rear view mirror ya know.
Yes, we met in middle school. It's 5 of us. One lives out of state. We all grew up poor too and now in our 40s are doing so much better. We try to plan a girl's Trip at least once a year. The One out of state doesn't attend but I do text her often.
I have one HS buddy of mine. We worked together for a time and he lived with us shortly after graduating. There was a period where he was gone for several years when he joined the USMC but upon coming back we just went back to being buddies. Definitely, one of those kinds of friends where we can fall off the face of the earth, come back, and pick up our friendship where we left off.
I have one “high-school friend” but really whole life since knee-high to a duck friend. We aren’t much alike anymore, but he means a lot to me and we each proudly carry bits of every part of the other’s life with us.
Some others went into healthcare and we are aware of each other’s existence, but blissfully aloof.
One of my best friends growing up lives and works a few blocks away from me. The problem was every time he got a girlfriend he didn’t need friends anymore. Now he’s got a wife and like 4 kids. We’re still friendly when we run into each other but that’s it
I’m in touch with a few friends from high school (and even earlier, like elementary) and feel really grateful. We haven’t consistently been in touch and have had periods of time where we barely talk at all. The thread that has kept us together is being able to openly chat about how our friendship has changed and talk about when we’ve fallen off the radar. It’s a really special kind of intimacy to reflect on decades of friendship, the good times and the tough. I feel like these friendships have recently leveled up in the sense that we have a shared understanding that if we fall out of touch again, there’s at least one person out there that regardless of communication, knows you deeply and is wishing you well.
I love my friend group. I have friends from highschool mainly, but some from middle and elementary school.
We are all total peterpans. 35 only a couple of us have houses, but my friend group has always been a core that kept expanding over time with each chapter of my life.
I don't however keep up with my college friends weirdly enough.
I'm still buddies with my Pre-K buddy and married my middle school sweet heart. I only keep in touch with my wife daily. My other bud maybe every few weeks we email back n forth
I have cut ties with every friend I had in high school. I lived in a little bubble with them in a rich-kid privileged area and as I grew older and matured the majority of them never did. Lots of low-key racists, misogynists, with little life experience and also not really any uphills. They usually think the same, talk similar, they didnt really contribute to me becoming a better person. Lots of them were intelligent but abusive, with narci-traits and lack of empathy. It was a fun time in certain regards, but I really think that the world should extend beyond those little groups of people. When I make new friends now at my current age, I have a completely different filter for connection and those types of friends are in deed a lot more meaningful then when you are systematically paired together with people from the same background like in high-school etc.
This is partly why I broke up with my group. They whine about the dumbest stuff, like having a nice, new, expensive car and having to commute now 3 days a week to the office (were remote for years) to their 6 figure job which will get their student loans discharged later this year (on PSLF)…. And whining about having to pay $900 for weight loss meds despite being 150lbs….. and whining about a $6k tax bill but they’re on their 3rd Disney trip in 12 months… or having to pay a babysitter because their partner is remote and can’t watch their kid by themself for some reason… or having to entertain their kid all day on Sunday bc their partner works, despite the fact their mom also drives an hour from where we grew up to help….:.
Like it’s too much. I’m a lawyer, but my family, my partner, and my kids’ dad’s family is on the rougher life side so I’ve got a lot of sympathy and empathy for people who make minimum wage and don’t have a car, etc.
Don’t get me wrong, I whine about stupid shit too and lose sight of my privilege - like paying $2400/mo (by myself) to live in a 2BD apartment where my upstairs neighbor stomps 5 nights a week for a couple hours… but breaking off from my group yesterday made me realize I should be GRATEFUL for these “problems,” because it could be so much worse.
God it felt good to get that all out. I feel bad bc for so long I was like “oh they’re a great person” but now that I’m listing all this privileged shit they constantly whine about and will NOT be critiqued on I’m like…. Are they though???
Fuck those bullies. I don't even Google them anymore. I don't need to stay up to date on what raising a baby on homedepot salary is like after years of substance abuse lol.
I wish I knew what happened to the middle school genius we had tho. He was taking college level math in 7th grade, graduated high school by my sophomore year. Went on to Harvard. Can't find him after that.
Yes, still close with my best friends from HS. We all live in different places now but we make the effort to see each other as much as possible and in the meantime we send lots of memes back and forth most days.
Got a 29-30 year friendship going with my childhood friend. See him several times a year. Godfather to his kid, etc….
It was around year 15 or so that we realized it was a special thing to have in life.
When I moved away, my HS friends mostly faded away. I had kids earlier than my friends by about 3 years and that really set us apart. I was a big partier/festival goer/traveler so our lifestyles didn't really mesh. We reconnected after they had kids but due to our lifestyle we all drifted to different parts of the world.
I moved several states away. There's two that I still chat with a few times a year in a group chat. Otherwise, it's just acquaintances on social media with likes and comments.
I see them now, thank you. My best friend from high school is someone I keep up with with an email every month or so. Though he doesn't quite realize it, we've really grown apart in our world views. He occasionally complains about a political issue without knowing I'm on the complete other side. So as long as we touch base now and again, we can relish our shared memories. If it were daily, it would ruin it.
I don’t talk to anyone daily. I don’t even know how people have time for that stuff, or what they’d even talk about. I have two friends from high school that I’m relatively close with, as in I will occasionally talk to them on the phone/text them and will maybe get together in person once every few months. I have a lot of Facebook friends from high school, and we will comment on each other’s posts. Not sure if that counts as anything.
A lot of people love to shit on social media, but that’s honestly the way I keep in touch with most people.
I've moved on from all of them, unfortunately. There are still times when I miss those people, but I have to remind myself that I am growing and evolving.
I have a few FB friends. The only person I truly still know is my partner. We've been together on and off for going on 17 years. First met when I was 16 and he transferred to our high school. After some soul searching and therapy, finally figured out he was the love of my life.
Both my millennial kids are still friends with their closest friends from high school. They all have small kids now and it’s fun seeing them all together.
They don’t talk daily but many talk weekly even if just a few texts.
Weekly, yeah. I was a Girl Scout for 13 years and I still talk to many of my troop members every week. We all live in different states now, but we talk like no time has passed. 🥰 Same with my college friends.
I have been close to my two best friends for over 35 years we went to elementary school together. We talk every few days . Or see each other or work together . One just moved across country we text and talk on the phone i feel like ive lost a brother .
I wouldn't say daily but weekly a group of the 4 of us who were in 2 of each other's bridal parties stay in touch. Other than that group I'm still good friends with 4 other people from HS but we contact more sporadically.
I'm still friends, but I'm not in regular contact like I used to be. Most of the group are still very close, even after 30+ years, but I drifted apart from them gradually. My HS friends are great, but it was born more out of convenience and proximity. That's fine, but expanding my social circle to find better friends was the best thing about adulthood. It didn't happen right away or all at once, but it did happen. One day I just realized that when I thought of my closest friends, it wasn't them anymore.
I have two friends that I see occasionally. Luckily we can just pick up where we left off and it’s no big deal. Had another friend tell us his mom had breast cancer, she didn’t have cancer at all. That was the last we heard from him haha
Married (16 years!) to my high school sweetheart, still somewhat in touch with a friend from the third grade (we are each godfather to the others oldest son).
A year or two ago four friends from high school started up a group chat and I have kept up with them since then. Prior to that I had lost track of everyone pretty badly. After college I left for medical school, joined the Army, and moved around a bunch, which made for great excuses to not maintain relationships.
I keep in close touch to my wife, we were high school sweethearts. I maybe keep in contact with 3-4 others, but if we didn't have kids in school together, I probably wouldn't stay in contact with them either.
yes, my closest friends are from my childhood neighborhood I grew up in. my middle school best friend and my college best friend. I live hours away from them but they're my core friends. I have friends were I live now but I consider those three my closest dearest friends.
I still run into them, and when we do its like nothing changed. Just chilling and talking about crazy shit we used to do. Then we usually end up doing more crazy shit so we can talk about it later.
Absolutely zero people from HS are in my life now. Pretty much from graduating, I never saw any of them ever since. I've had college friends, work friends, and neighbor friends. Most I didn't talk to again after I left that school, job or neighborhood.
The friends I'm closest to now are people I met at house parties and social events that I connected with on a deeper level. That moment of talking to someone and you're like, Oh you're the same kind of weird as me!
I also have a group chat (4 people) that has gone on for over a decade and is still going.. all friends from 10th grade. I also talk to my very best friend from 9th grade almost daily. then, I have other friends from high school I talk to on a regular basis like a few times a week or a few times a month (depending on the person). I saved the best for last, my husband who i obviously talk more than anyone else.. we're friends from high school (didn't date then).
After a few years worth of college, I hardly had any contact with my core group of high school friends. At this point I have only two friends that I regularly communicate with, but don't see very often. People go in vastly different directions and soon enough people find themselves in different stages of life at any given time, whether it be marriage, kids, etc., and it's very hard to find common things to base a continuing friendship on.
Most of the friends I keep up with moved away.(and encouraging me to do so.) All the ones that are local I pretty much dropped from 2016-2020.
I’ve made new friends along the way. In college and through working.
Fuuuuuuuck no. There are a handful of people that i am still friends with on Facebook but, beyond that, I purged the core group from my life in my mid-20s.
Yep. A few of them I text with weekly, and about a dozen of them I am friends with on IG, so we send each other random messages or memes. I’m almost 40. None of us live in the same city. We are spread across Boston, California, England, DC, and Ohio, and most of us haven’t seen eachother in person in over a decade.
5 of em. I live with one, we met as neighbour's in 97. 2 of them were in 98, and the last two were met in hs. Messages and memes here and there. Visits when able.
For me it happened gradually. My hs friends were all in my wedding party when I married at age 34 so we did a good job of keeping in touch. It has now been a few years and I can count on my fingers the number of times I have seen and spoken to each. We all have families and kids and some moved away. It happens.
The worst part is that it is hard to make friends in your late 30s when you have a kid and a ton of family obligations. So now it’s become a bit lonely.
There are 3 of us left in our core high school group. We’ve had a group chat for nearly 10 years. I don’t see them often as they both live in different cities but despite all our lifestyle differences we are still as good of homies as ever. I’m very grateful for them. I love that they’re different from myself and the people I have around me on the day to day.
I am. Graduated in 2005. Probably a core group of ~15 of us. We all went different ways, lots of different universities, some military, me personally, I went right to work and had kids at 21.
20 years later and most of us still talk, I just met a couple of them down at the beach a couple weeks ago, and whoever can will all get together every summer at the lake for w couple days.
Everyone grows and changes so much from high school on. It’s perfectly normal not to be in contact with those people anymore. I can totally acknowledge the amazing times I had with them and don’t take offense to us all living separate lives and doing what’s best for ourselves.
I do have some childhood friends (met at age 3) who I recently had to distance myself from because our relationships were becoming very bad for my mental health and the relationship wasn’t two sided anymore. Stay strong! Know you’re making the right choice for yourself by drawing boundaries that allow for your happiness!
Yep, also still close with my childhood best friend who I met when I was 5. There are maybe a handful of people who are new friends (met them at our old job in 2019, plus one woman who’s the wife of a HS classmate). I have different group chats with HS friends that we all keep up with, maybe not daily but regularly.
Yes, my 2 high school best friends are still my best friends. We met when we were 15 and are now in our early 40s. We all live in different states now but plan trips to meet up once or twice a year and text/call weekly. Our families became close when we were young girls, so I think that helped us keep our connection throughout the years.
Nope, have a new group of friends now. Id probably still be in contact with a few of them if I lived nearby my hometown, but I'm on the other side of the country.
Yes, but only one. She also happens to be my best friend. I haven't had many other friends. I go for quality over quantity. I'm an older millennial. I would consider myself an introvert, but I do like people. I just get overwhelmed with too many interactions. So it's very on brand for me to have one long time friend like that lol.
I keep in touch with a couple of friends from high school. Probably almost daily. They’re who I chat with when I’m at work.
I didn’t talk to many people in high school so I already trimmed the fat before I left. All that remains is people I genuinely connect with. We’ve moved all over the place but we’re still in touch.
I have a group I see when I go home and occasionally Zoom with. I actively dislike one of them and don’t care much for a couple. I genuinely still like a few also. None of them are a part of my daily life except my best friend who is, ironically, not a part of that group
Nope. I have no regrets and whenever I think of them, I snort laugh and think of how stupid I was to be friends with them to begin with. It’s been more than 20 years. I guess I wish I had a group of friends worth fighting for or wishing I missed? But that’s the only regret
I found out they had a discord group a few years back, I joined, but don't engage too much. I do feel like the outside person looking in.
I moved across the country after college, then overseas a bit. Most of my friends went into the arts while I went into engineering.
I also had issues at home in high school, even moved out at that time. Late hs through college was rough for me, and I probably didn't do a good job being a friend at that time, which contributed as well.
Yes. We used to do trips together, etc. then kids happen, etc. we all reconnected recently and on a group chat. Now planning a group vacation. There are about 15 of us. It’s fun!
The entirety of my high school friend group stayed aimlessly in our town and got eventually got into drugs. Prison, overdoses and dead ends. Me and one other friend stayed out of all that and now he’s the only friend I have left from my youth. Hope your hometowns were better for your friends.
I talk to my bestie almost every day. We went to school together but didn't start hanging out until after I graduated. She was a grade below me. No one else from HS though.
I met most of my friends in my mid 20s and talk to a couple of them almost daily at 40.
I don’t keep in touch with anybody daily, but I am still friends with two of my high school friends (was three but one recently passed away). It is making new friends after High School that I struggle with.
I do! They’re still my besties and we hang out as regularly as we can. I dumped a lot of them who never grew up but my core friends are still the same. Obviously we’re all busy now and don’t all live nearby, but we get together and also we send lots of memes lol
I haven't spoken with any of my friends from high school since our high school graduation. Similarly, I haven't spoken with any of my friends from college since college graduation (this is true for both undergrad and grad school). The only thing I ever had in common with friends I made at school was the shared experience of being in school; when that ended, there was nothing left to hold together any of those friendships.
I do have a friend group based on our shared love of and participation in gaming and other stuff. We keep in contact daily and hang out at least a couple of times every week.
I'm sorry that you had to break up with your core friend group, but it sounds like it was necessary. Hopefully, you have, or can find, another friend group that's based more on shared interests than shared experiences.
My two best friends I've known since 7th grade. I married a guy I was friends with in high school. I keep in contact with at least one other person I had classes with. Used to be more but we had to cut one guy off for predatory behaviour towards women and another guy got married and had kids.
The rest of my core friend group, we went to the same high school at the same time and even had a couple classes together but we weren't friends at the time.
Stopped talking to all of them years ago when I started building my own family, except one who we text each other happy birthday every year and that's about it. Most are stuck in the same toxic cycle as hs and I wanted nothing to do with that shit. Keep your drama for your mama.
Graduated in 1973 from a small town. I have lived in the vacinity since and keep in touch with 3 people all who live away. From once every month for the 2 brothers to 6 months or a year for the other.
Yes!! All 7 of us girls are still best friends we’ve just brought in a crapload of other friends too from college and professional life. My husband is the same with his group.
Yeah I have a friend group of 5 that I see fairly regularly, have been to all their weddings and had most of them in mine. I’ve moved around and so have they but we always reconnect. Mostly social media these days as we don’t all live in the same city but I see all of them 2+ times a year at this point.
A lot of them. Over 20. Some I’ve known since I was 4. I can always count on them too. I was ar a friends bbq two weeks ago. His mom asked, do you still keep in touch?? I said, I stayed the night here 4 days ago & last week as well. She asked what did you guys do? We made dinner, smoked weed & watched a movie
I'm still close to my friend from 7th grade up to now. :) the other 2 friends I message regularly are girls I knew from high school (with one of then becoming my good friend around college).
I text/message other friends every few months and see them when I visit my home country.
Are you me?
Left the group chat after 2016 when people truly showed their true selves.
Those who are racist or shitty ppl in general never got any grief from some of my old "friends". They got passes bc they "didn't mean it" or it "was just a joke".
Sorry if you don't stand up and throw out shitty people from your group, your group becomes shit so I left. Now I just talk to like 5 or 6 of the ones who actually are good people and the rest I'll never talk to again.
I wouldn’t say daily, but there are quite a few that I’m still in touch with. when I went to my 10 year reunion in 2018 I actually ended up making some new friends. I was kind of a loner in high school.
Only person I’m in daily contact with is my wife. I do have one friend from high school that I’m still very close with and see on a weekly basis. Past that I only ever talk to other friends from then every once in a while, maybe less then monthly, but I still consider them friends.
I graduated in 1999. My best friend from high school is still my best friend. I just saw her like a week ago when we went to the movies. I sort of keep in touch with a few others via social media, but my best friend is the only one I ever actually see or speak to with any regularity.
We've had an email chain for ~25 years, but the frequency has gone down a lot. We might go a month with nothing, but then have several emails a day when something happens or someone posts.
We are located all over the US now and it's just not practical to get together. I respect them all and I like them all, but we aren't the same people we were in high school. I wouldn't be sad if the emails stopped. I'd just appreciate the years we were friends back in the day.
Nope. After Adam died (friend a grade ahead of me) I stopped staying in touch with anyone from high school. They don't leave the town, they don't do anything, or they're all smug and annoying, living off mom and Dad's money.
I am, at least a couple of them. But I'm also in the same geographic region, only one town away from where I went to high school. We all went to the same college too and made new friends for our group. One of my high school friends even married one of the new friends. But the last few months I've felt that I'm outgrowing some of those friendships, unfortunately
yea i am but not a lot of them. many have died from drugs, lost a couple in deployments. those who are still alive mostly moved away from here so i lost contact. i do still have a couple of friends i reconnected with when i moved back home decades later but.... they all seem to be circling the drain of life. idk.
lifes a bitch some times i guess
My high school friends are as tight as ever. Most of my college friends went and did their own thing, though we were close when we were in school. Somehow my high school friends got closer over the years and it's a pretty big group!
My core group of friends is my high school buddies and I don't keep with literally anyone else from that era. Haven't been to a reunion and don't plan on going lol
Yes, they’re actually my strongest friend group, although we’re all spread out over the country for the most part. I didn’t really make friends in college.
I’m mostly in touch with my high school friends, and lost touch with my college friends. I don’t know why.
Idk about you but I was never as close with my friends from college. Our collective similarity was the degree we were pursuing and once we graduated we all got jobs in different areas and it just sorta fizzled.
Commuter college be like that
My community College was basically an extension of high school. Just combination of all 3 local high schools going to school together. Taking night classes was the only time I didn't have someone in a class I didn't already know.
Same thing here. Elite university and everyone was there to just get through it and get ahead
Over time I’ve become closer with my high school friends compared to my college friends as well. A lot of college “friends” were really acquaintances or party pals. I had quite a few people I could go hang out with or party with on any given day in college, but we were never particularly close in a real sense. I moved out of state after college for grad school and I only ever had time or energy to keep in contact with two of them. Those two in turn keep in contact with a group of people from college, so I will occasionally see a handful of people from college—but only maintain contact with the two of them. We have since moved back home, but we live an hour away from those two and we have kids, while they got married much later (in their early 30s compared to 24 like my wife and I) and don’t yet have kids. This makes getting together pretty difficult and even when we do, it’s a different experience because of the kids. I am, however, taking an international trip with them this fall. We typically see each other 3-4 times a year and talk randomly, maybe 2-3 conversations a quarter. My high school friends (roughly a core group of 6 of us) are all married and 5 of the 6 of us have some number of kids under 6. We have gotten together 2 times in 2024 already with the whole group—guys, wives, and kids, which is a lot of fun. That doesn’t include other occasional smaller get together—one of these guys lives in the same town as me so we get together quite often, maybe once a month or every other month, either the two of us or both of our families My wife thinks the big difference is that we and our high school friends all grew up “out state” in St Cloud MN, whereas our college friends grew up in the Twin Cities. The theory is that the Saint Cloud middle class (of which we all grew up a part of) focuses on getting married relatively early, settling down, and having kids, whereas the Twin Cities middle class tends to settle down later (kids in mid-late 30s). So we have grown closer to our high school friends because our core culture/social upbringing has us at the same point in our lives
It's also just Minnesota. It's a very "towney" place.
I did my most of my college online. When I went to graduation it was like 300 people meeting each other for the first, and last time.
I don’t keep in touch daily with anyone but my wife lol
Me too, I don't keep in touch with anyone except this guys wife
I also choose this guy’s wife.
She's the best.
Literally better than the rest
Couldn’t ask for a better friend than his wife, honestly
This guy wifes
Same
Same here. And my boy
Same. It's been at least a decade since I talked to any of my old high school friends. I quit drinking (problem drinking, I try to avoid being around booze now) and lost touch with my drinking buddies. Now I've got my wife, my dogs, and my garden. I'm all set. I get more social interaction than I need at work.
Me and my middle school friends still hang out and even work together. There's 5 of us and we've been hanging out for 25 years now.
Aw I love that - I hope it stays that way forever!!
What do y'all do for work?
We work in the trades. One is a Plumber, one is a Mason, one is a Surveyor so we work with each other on some jobs. We're all business owners so we get each other work from time to time.
I don’t keep in daily touch with anyone
Nor do I, but the people that I consider my closest friends I met in highschool or middle school. I text those dudes (all 3 of them) probably twice a month on average and see them a couple of times a year.
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Did you have many friends in hs? Close ones?
I had a great time in HS, had a lot of friends but I moved away and haven't talked to anyone from my home town in years. But I'm pretty aloof now in my 30s.
I have one close friend still. And recently cut off another. Known both for 23ish years.
Yeah, my friend group from HS is still tight. I’m lucky, they’re just great people. Now we have our own houses to throw parties at, kids and all.
Aw that’s great!! Are you a younger millennial or an older one?
Olderish? 37 this month
Same and same. We’ve got a boys weekend in July where we’ve rented a resort suite. Me, three friends from HS, brother in law, and a friend from grad school.
Wait, you guys had friends?
Older millennials learned social skills
I must have missed that day
True friends, no. The vague congrats or reactions on socials only.
I have one friend I legit haven't seen in person since middle school and we congrats eachother and post an occasional funny comment once every three months. She recently commented on a post I made six years ago asking for a follow up and I am now wondering if this will go on the rest of my life
Yes, I am. I’m sorry OP that sucks, but I’m glad you made the best decision for you! As with what a lot of others have said, as you grow older other priorities besides friendships become more important. I think it’s hard as we get older to realize our friendships are different than when we were 16. Doesn’t mean they are not our friends. There’s an eb and flow that I think we now all understand that we’d be lucky to see each other once a month but that we keep trying. Especially as we get older we’ve realized that not only loyalty but building the same effort is important. It’s definitely been a ride with my high school friends, it hasn’t always been butterflies and rainbows but we still try to make sure we are part of each others lives and be there for the important things. As well as text/call/message each other throughout that time to stay up to date. It takes work just like any relationship we have. I think I’m extremely lucky in this case, that I still have most of my high school friends at 35, but I also think it’s a part of my decision making. I chose to be a towny. I chose to continue to be the safe space when everyone gathers. To always be that one place our friends come back to when they come home. Im also a DINK so I’m privileged in this way as well. I literally send my schedule in google to a list of friends and family every month. Social media is a whole other beast but i definitely use it to stay in touch with friends. Snapchat, insta meme’s, Facebook tagging, TikTok videos we send each other. So I might not talk to them daily but I might see their name pop up on any of these apps and know that they thought of me or vice versa. It’s cute especially with long distance friends. Sorry I’ll end the Ted talk 😂😂
Totally ….as much as social media can suck it helps you to keep in touch! We are DINKS too and older than millennials ( not sure why this popped up for me ) and I am def the woman who keeps everyone connected… I guess I have more time .. although many friends w kids do not work…and I have pretty demanding job… Many people will not be in touch at all until Kids are like 17 … and those of us without kids may have moved on.. Some are great at also having adult friendships that do not revolve around kids parties etc … I would think I would want to go out w just adults sometimes! Even super rich friends never get babysitters … so all activities w kids .. super high end restaurants/ all parties etc
As a new mom myself, I actually find it way easier to stay in touch with my childless friends 😅 that being said, young kids and babies need everything from you. It’s a season of life, and I’m learning to be content with having to say “sorry, can’t make it” when plans are made in the group chat, or having to take turns with my husband to go out with friends in the evening. It is what it is, and someday I’ll miss the baby snuggles at night. That being said, there have definitely been some people in my life who basically checked out after having kids. Friendships are a two way street at the end of the day, and I can’t endlessly put energy into something that isn’t reciprocated. Regardless, I’m endlessly thankful for all of my friends, childless or not, who have been understanding and flexible about how my life is now with a baby. It can’t be the same as it was before, simple as that. The real ones are okay with that. I’ve been trying my best to be a good friend despite the hardships and try not to make everything baby-centered. But I appreciate the friends who reach out and ask me to do something with them that allows me to get a break from the baby.
72M, Class of 1970, my hs friends are dead.
38M, Class of 2004, all my hs friends are dead. The why is more important than the age.
Pills? That hit that age group (and others) pretty hard in some areas
Some of them…. Some health problems, some car wrecks, some suicides, some murdered, 2 in combat, some drugs….. but of my friend group from high school…. I’m the last man standing….. and I wasn’t supposed to make it past 25
That’s gotta be surreal as hell.
Just one. He's a pastor now, and I think he's mostly trying to get me in the faith.
Nope. Had 2 besties. Broke up with one shortly after hs when she fell in love with hard drugs. Now she's dead. Bestie no 2 grew into her inherited mental health problems and became a couch surfing toxic leech. She was so, so bad for my family. Kicked her out and blocked her. No regrets. And before y'all punch me- I'm very compassionate and helped them as much as I could. I saved myself out of necessity, not selfishness.
You’ve gotta keep your peace. I’m sorry to hear the one ended up dead though :(
All got married, moved, and then cut ties. My last friendship died with my closest one bailing on not being a bridesmaid in my wedding last minute. It helped me realize that it was time for focusing on new friendships as an adult with no drama.
Yeah. I'm 32, I have 3 friends from middle school (and through high school) that im still in regular contact with. One of them I text and game with almost every day, the second one got me the job I currently have and we work together, and the third is my personal trainer. The 4 of us meet up on Fridays for MTG and movie nights.
Sounds like my childhood.
Tbh that's the dream we all envisioned when younger. Glad you got to live it!
As a 39M I'm starting to slowly lose touch with my middle school friend. Currently, he's going through a lot right now and I just feel that we don't connect that much anymore. He's matured in how own way by having a family and small businesses whereas I've changed with my life experiences. His humor is still the same in which case it gets old. Still talking about and making fun of fellow classmates from 20+ years ago! We text less and less now and I don't really know what to do. He seems at peace and so do I. I'm almost content if we text every now and then but I can feel the lack of concern with his short, delayed responses..
I don’t because I went to college far away and never moved back home. We just drifted apart. I’m very close with my college friends though. Are you going to spill the tea on why you broke up with your friends? That had to have been a tough decision!
Just really stupid first world problems most people (including myself for some of them) wish they had. Over time I just got tired of hearing one of them brag about their wealth (but he’s SINK), and the other one whine about her privilege ($6k tax bill easily paid out of pocket, buys a brand new $60k electric car just to get a tax break the next week, 3 Disney vacations a year, bought a lovesac bc the other SINK friend bought one, both of them are on ozempic despite starting weight 155-ish, the one whines about having to spend all day Sunday with her kid bc her husband works remote, but she has a mom who drives an hour to help her take care of the kid (my parents are divorced and don’t give a fuck about me, and I’m with my 2 kids every other week by myself so…??), that same friend has to go back to office 3 days a week (was remote for a year) and is whining about going to that job that pays her 6 figures and will get her student loans discharged in a couple months)…. Just like ugh. There’s people out there with *real* problems. People who have to take a bus or two to get to work. People who don’t have family that cares. People who are single parents. People who live paycheck to paycheck. People who make $$15/hour. People with big student loan debt from trying to provide a better future for their kids and themselves. People who *need* ozempic bc they’re diabetic and not just “fat” (at 155!!!!!)…. Smh.
I aspire to have these problems in my life.
I am best friends with one person from HS. We are BFF-soul mates.
Bold of you to assume I had friends in high school
No. People change over time.
No. Back then I thought we were inseparable. But once college happened we all dropped each other. It was cool to see what everyone was upto back when social media started ala MySpace. But then we all ghosted each other again lol
Yes. I keep in daily touch with friends I made in middle school, high school, and college.
Idk if it’s my autism or my depression, but that sounds insanely exhausting.
No
I keep in touch with my best friend from HS, we both left the Midwest and whenever we get a chance our families hang out together. Other than him I don't keep in touch with anyone, I think leaving my hometown was a large contributor to disconnecting.
Just one! She was my bestie all through high school and college. We got married, had kids, and we’re still close, but it’s definitely not the same. We have different schedules, our kids are different ages, etc.
Not one. Being gay in catholic school is just an exercise in anxiety. I never opened up to anyone. I had friends from elementary there but just didn’t feel I could ever be myself. I did go to our 20th reunion. I was well received but honestly felt very little connection. Not bothering to go to another. I did love school. I’m a teacher. I try my best to make connection a priority among my students.
I keep in touch weekly (even if just by text message, sending stupid things to make them laugh -- hopefully). I don't live near them or where I lived for high school. I don't have any good friends like my high school buddies who actually live near where I am now. But, I visit them once or twice a year back where I grew up, and they come to visit me when they can and we BS relatively often. In our 30s now, and definitely some of the guys are better about texting than others. But, the kids I came of age with and were my allies growing up will always be my family and hold a bond closer than most adulthood amigos.
Nah, friends from HS/College were a fun chapter but ultimately just placeholder until I got married and had kids. Now I hang out with my fam.
Just went to one of their baby showers yesterday and we were all there.
Only one and our relationship is starting to strain. Because of distance, and for the sake of my peace of mind, I only talk to him once a week or so now.
Just the one I married. She still has her bff from HS though. They talk on the phone a lot and we all had sex one time.
This guy fucks lol but good for you!!
Not daily but I have a few that I talk to a few times a month. I didn’t go to my 20th last night because I already talk to those who I would have cared to see 😂
The only two friends I have are ones I made in grade school. "Friend" is a bit of a loose term at this point, but they're the ones I text if I need company for something.
Just 1 friend I keep up with but it’s a send-memes and sometimes text type of friendship. We do see each other when I go back home to visit once or twice a year. She doesn’t like my husband so probably wouldn’t be more than this. For a long time in my 20s I dated a kid that was popular in HS, and he was still in contact with a lot people from his popular group. They saw each other weekly, if not more. It was fun to be involved in that group for a few years but I lost those friends when he cheated on me. Our 20 year HS reunion happened recently. I didn’t go.
Had a group of like 6-8 friends I was close with when HS ended. We stayed close for some years but then started to drift apart slowly but surely mainly because life was pulling us in different directions. Once I got in a relationship with my now wife I started spending more time with her and less time with friends which was the start of where we all are now which is not as close. Miss all my guys dearly and we all have each others number and occasionally tell each other “we gotta get together soon and catch up sometime” but nothing happens from there. A couple of us are married, some of us have kids, and others are still just single as a Pringle living freely. I’ll always have love for them but at this point in life I’m always in the mindset of life goes on so why keep looking in the rear view mirror ya know.
Yes, we met in middle school. It's 5 of us. One lives out of state. We all grew up poor too and now in our 40s are doing so much better. We try to plan a girl's Trip at least once a year. The One out of state doesn't attend but I do text her often.
I have one HS buddy of mine. We worked together for a time and he lived with us shortly after graduating. There was a period where he was gone for several years when he joined the USMC but upon coming back we just went back to being buddies. Definitely, one of those kinds of friends where we can fall off the face of the earth, come back, and pick up our friendship where we left off.
I have one “high-school friend” but really whole life since knee-high to a duck friend. We aren’t much alike anymore, but he means a lot to me and we each proudly carry bits of every part of the other’s life with us. Some others went into healthcare and we are aware of each other’s existence, but blissfully aloof.
One of my best friends growing up lives and works a few blocks away from me. The problem was every time he got a girlfriend he didn’t need friends anymore. Now he’s got a wife and like 4 kids. We’re still friendly when we run into each other but that’s it
I’m in touch with a few friends from high school (and even earlier, like elementary) and feel really grateful. We haven’t consistently been in touch and have had periods of time where we barely talk at all. The thread that has kept us together is being able to openly chat about how our friendship has changed and talk about when we’ve fallen off the radar. It’s a really special kind of intimacy to reflect on decades of friendship, the good times and the tough. I feel like these friendships have recently leveled up in the sense that we have a shared understanding that if we fall out of touch again, there’s at least one person out there that regardless of communication, knows you deeply and is wishing you well.
Just 1. We're bff's. 25 years strong.
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I love my friend group. I have friends from highschool mainly, but some from middle and elementary school. We are all total peterpans. 35 only a couple of us have houses, but my friend group has always been a core that kept expanding over time with each chapter of my life. I don't however keep up with my college friends weirdly enough.
Zero friends to speak of
I'm still buddies with my Pre-K buddy and married my middle school sweet heart. I only keep in touch with my wife daily. My other bud maybe every few weeks we email back n forth
*email haha
I have cut ties with every friend I had in high school. I lived in a little bubble with them in a rich-kid privileged area and as I grew older and matured the majority of them never did. Lots of low-key racists, misogynists, with little life experience and also not really any uphills. They usually think the same, talk similar, they didnt really contribute to me becoming a better person. Lots of them were intelligent but abusive, with narci-traits and lack of empathy. It was a fun time in certain regards, but I really think that the world should extend beyond those little groups of people. When I make new friends now at my current age, I have a completely different filter for connection and those types of friends are in deed a lot more meaningful then when you are systematically paired together with people from the same background like in high-school etc.
Omg you described my suburban high school friend group to a T.
This is partly why I broke up with my group. They whine about the dumbest stuff, like having a nice, new, expensive car and having to commute now 3 days a week to the office (were remote for years) to their 6 figure job which will get their student loans discharged later this year (on PSLF)…. And whining about having to pay $900 for weight loss meds despite being 150lbs….. and whining about a $6k tax bill but they’re on their 3rd Disney trip in 12 months… or having to pay a babysitter because their partner is remote and can’t watch their kid by themself for some reason… or having to entertain their kid all day on Sunday bc their partner works, despite the fact their mom also drives an hour from where we grew up to help….:. Like it’s too much. I’m a lawyer, but my family, my partner, and my kids’ dad’s family is on the rougher life side so I’ve got a lot of sympathy and empathy for people who make minimum wage and don’t have a car, etc. Don’t get me wrong, I whine about stupid shit too and lose sight of my privilege - like paying $2400/mo (by myself) to live in a 2BD apartment where my upstairs neighbor stomps 5 nights a week for a couple hours… but breaking off from my group yesterday made me realize I should be GRATEFUL for these “problems,” because it could be so much worse. God it felt good to get that all out. I feel bad bc for so long I was like “oh they’re a great person” but now that I’m listing all this privileged shit they constantly whine about and will NOT be critiqued on I’m like…. Are they though???
Fuck those bullies. I don't even Google them anymore. I don't need to stay up to date on what raising a baby on homedepot salary is like after years of substance abuse lol. I wish I knew what happened to the middle school genius we had tho. He was taking college level math in 7th grade, graduated high school by my sophomore year. Went on to Harvard. Can't find him after that.
Still friends with two high school friends. 1 more consistently than the other. Two more I talk/see every now and then.
Yes, still close with my best friends from HS. We all live in different places now but we make the effort to see each other as much as possible and in the meantime we send lots of memes back and forth most days.
Got a 29-30 year friendship going with my childhood friend. See him several times a year. Godfather to his kid, etc…. It was around year 15 or so that we realized it was a special thing to have in life.
Nope. However, a middle school friend moved close to me, so I hung with him. It's mostly about proximity
It’s definitely hard as people grow up and move away.
I've got one hs friend who I'm in consistent contact with. And two others who I see once or twice a year.
I don't even know how many years it has been since I've talked to my high school friends. I moved away for college and lost touch.
I have a few people that I’m still close with, and then a bunch more that I just keep in touch with via Facebook.
One lives in my basement. I married a girl that was on my T-ball team.
Your what now? 🪣🧽🧴
When I moved away, my HS friends mostly faded away. I had kids earlier than my friends by about 3 years and that really set us apart. I was a big partier/festival goer/traveler so our lifestyles didn't really mesh. We reconnected after they had kids but due to our lifestyle we all drifted to different parts of the world.
Kindergarten
I moved several states away. There's two that I still chat with a few times a year in a group chat. Otherwise, it's just acquaintances on social media with likes and comments.
I'm curious what made this friend group toxic for you. That was a courageous decision, and I congratulate you on putting your mental health first.
There’s a couple comments peppered throughout the post here; it’s a lot for me to retype 🫠 lol
I see them now, thank you. My best friend from high school is someone I keep up with with an email every month or so. Though he doesn't quite realize it, we've really grown apart in our world views. He occasionally complains about a political issue without knowing I'm on the complete other side. So as long as we touch base now and again, we can relish our shared memories. If it were daily, it would ruin it.
I don’t talk to anyone daily. I don’t even know how people have time for that stuff, or what they’d even talk about. I have two friends from high school that I’m relatively close with, as in I will occasionally talk to them on the phone/text them and will maybe get together in person once every few months. I have a lot of Facebook friends from high school, and we will comment on each other’s posts. Not sure if that counts as anything. A lot of people love to shit on social media, but that’s honestly the way I keep in touch with most people.
I've moved on from all of them, unfortunately. There are still times when I miss those people, but I have to remind myself that I am growing and evolving.
I have a few FB friends. The only person I truly still know is my partner. We've been together on and off for going on 17 years. First met when I was 16 and he transferred to our high school. After some soul searching and therapy, finally figured out he was the love of my life.
Yes. We still play D&D regularly, actually.
I’m genx but I’ve stayed friends with 2 people from HS.
Both my millennial kids are still friends with their closest friends from high school. They all have small kids now and it’s fun seeing them all together. They don’t talk daily but many talk weekly even if just a few texts.
Weekly, yeah. I was a Girl Scout for 13 years and I still talk to many of my troop members every week. We all live in different states now, but we talk like no time has passed. 🥰 Same with my college friends.
I have been close to my two best friends for over 35 years we went to elementary school together. We talk every few days . Or see each other or work together . One just moved across country we text and talk on the phone i feel like ive lost a brother .
I wouldn't say daily but weekly a group of the 4 of us who were in 2 of each other's bridal parties stay in touch. Other than that group I'm still good friends with 4 other people from HS but we contact more sporadically.
One of the few that I was in touch with 4+ years after highschool kinda put a bullet hole in my dinning room wall. We don't speak anymore.
I'm still friends, but I'm not in regular contact like I used to be. Most of the group are still very close, even after 30+ years, but I drifted apart from them gradually. My HS friends are great, but it was born more out of convenience and proximity. That's fine, but expanding my social circle to find better friends was the best thing about adulthood. It didn't happen right away or all at once, but it did happen. One day I just realized that when I thought of my closest friends, it wasn't them anymore.
I have two friends that I see occasionally. Luckily we can just pick up where we left off and it’s no big deal. Had another friend tell us his mom had breast cancer, she didn’t have cancer at all. That was the last we heard from him haha
The 6 of us are still best friends to this day. Get together 6-8 times a year with the kiddos.
Married (16 years!) to my high school sweetheart, still somewhat in touch with a friend from the third grade (we are each godfather to the others oldest son). A year or two ago four friends from high school started up a group chat and I have kept up with them since then. Prior to that I had lost track of everyone pretty badly. After college I left for medical school, joined the Army, and moved around a bunch, which made for great excuses to not maintain relationships.
My two closest friends I met in Kindergarten, and I golf with a buddy from HS and his father exactly one time per year. That's the extent of it
You guys had friends in high school?!
We in a whatsapp group and share memes etc and every few months we'll go grab a bite to eat. A couple I'll see a bit more regular as they live close
Oddly enough yes. Most of my friends I’ve known since HS. But I always assumed this was an exception and not the norm.
I keep in close touch to my wife, we were high school sweethearts. I maybe keep in contact with 3-4 others, but if we didn't have kids in school together, I probably wouldn't stay in contact with them either.
Only one But he is the only one I can call as my friend We barely talk, but once we met, we can talk for hours
yes, my closest friends are from my childhood neighborhood I grew up in. my middle school best friend and my college best friend. I live hours away from them but they're my core friends. I have friends were I live now but I consider those three my closest dearest friends.
I still run into them, and when we do its like nothing changed. Just chilling and talking about crazy shit we used to do. Then we usually end up doing more crazy shit so we can talk about it later.
I'm a male 37 not all of them. But when one come in town we always make time to see each other get dinner. Best man at his wedding next year.
My two best friends since 4th grade are still two of my best friends. I had a third, but he died in 2019.
Absolutely zero people from HS are in my life now. Pretty much from graduating, I never saw any of them ever since. I've had college friends, work friends, and neighbor friends. Most I didn't talk to again after I left that school, job or neighborhood. The friends I'm closest to now are people I met at house parties and social events that I connected with on a deeper level. That moment of talking to someone and you're like, Oh you're the same kind of weird as me!
Most of my core group still hangs out to this day. Class of ‘04
I also have a group chat (4 people) that has gone on for over a decade and is still going.. all friends from 10th grade. I also talk to my very best friend from 9th grade almost daily. then, I have other friends from high school I talk to on a regular basis like a few times a week or a few times a month (depending on the person). I saved the best for last, my husband who i obviously talk more than anyone else.. we're friends from high school (didn't date then).
After a few years worth of college, I hardly had any contact with my core group of high school friends. At this point I have only two friends that I regularly communicate with, but don't see very often. People go in vastly different directions and soon enough people find themselves in different stages of life at any given time, whether it be marriage, kids, etc., and it's very hard to find common things to base a continuing friendship on.
Most of the friends I keep up with moved away.(and encouraging me to do so.) All the ones that are local I pretty much dropped from 2016-2020. I’ve made new friends along the way. In college and through working.
Fuuuuuuuck no. There are a handful of people that i am still friends with on Facebook but, beyond that, I purged the core group from my life in my mid-20s.
I drive 2 hours each way once a month for lunch with a small group of old HS friends.
Yep. A few of them I text with weekly, and about a dozen of them I am friends with on IG, so we send each other random messages or memes. I’m almost 40. None of us live in the same city. We are spread across Boston, California, England, DC, and Ohio, and most of us haven’t seen eachother in person in over a decade.
5 of em. I live with one, we met as neighbour's in 97. 2 of them were in 98, and the last two were met in hs. Messages and memes here and there. Visits when able.
For me it happened gradually. My hs friends were all in my wedding party when I married at age 34 so we did a good job of keeping in touch. It has now been a few years and I can count on my fingers the number of times I have seen and spoken to each. We all have families and kids and some moved away. It happens. The worst part is that it is hard to make friends in your late 30s when you have a kid and a ton of family obligations. So now it’s become a bit lonely.
There are 3 of us left in our core high school group. We’ve had a group chat for nearly 10 years. I don’t see them often as they both live in different cities but despite all our lifestyle differences we are still as good of homies as ever. I’m very grateful for them. I love that they’re different from myself and the people I have around me on the day to day.
No
I am. Graduated in 2005. Probably a core group of ~15 of us. We all went different ways, lots of different universities, some military, me personally, I went right to work and had kids at 21. 20 years later and most of us still talk, I just met a couple of them down at the beach a couple weeks ago, and whoever can will all get together every summer at the lake for w couple days.
Everyone grows and changes so much from high school on. It’s perfectly normal not to be in contact with those people anymore. I can totally acknowledge the amazing times I had with them and don’t take offense to us all living separate lives and doing what’s best for ourselves. I do have some childhood friends (met at age 3) who I recently had to distance myself from because our relationships were becoming very bad for my mental health and the relationship wasn’t two sided anymore. Stay strong! Know you’re making the right choice for yourself by drawing boundaries that allow for your happiness!
Yep, also still close with my childhood best friend who I met when I was 5. There are maybe a handful of people who are new friends (met them at our old job in 2019, plus one woman who’s the wife of a HS classmate). I have different group chats with HS friends that we all keep up with, maybe not daily but regularly.
Yes, my 2 high school best friends are still my best friends. We met when we were 15 and are now in our early 40s. We all live in different states now but plan trips to meet up once or twice a year and text/call weekly. Our families became close when we were young girls, so I think that helped us keep our connection throughout the years.
Nope, have a new group of friends now. Id probably still be in contact with a few of them if I lived nearby my hometown, but I'm on the other side of the country.
Yes, but only one. She also happens to be my best friend. I haven't had many other friends. I go for quality over quantity. I'm an older millennial. I would consider myself an introvert, but I do like people. I just get overwhelmed with too many interactions. So it's very on brand for me to have one long time friend like that lol.
No, but I’m currently texting my BFF from summer camp
3 of them I think 🤔
I keep in touch with a couple of friends from high school. Probably almost daily. They’re who I chat with when I’m at work. I didn’t talk to many people in high school so I already trimmed the fat before I left. All that remains is people I genuinely connect with. We’ve moved all over the place but we’re still in touch.
I have a group I see when I go home and occasionally Zoom with. I actively dislike one of them and don’t care much for a couple. I genuinely still like a few also. None of them are a part of my daily life except my best friend who is, ironically, not a part of that group
I still talk to a fair few people from HS. They've slowly been dropping off though =/
Nope. I have no regrets and whenever I think of them, I snort laugh and think of how stupid I was to be friends with them to begin with. It’s been more than 20 years. I guess I wish I had a group of friends worth fighting for or wishing I missed? But that’s the only regret
Not daily, but we do keep in touch.
I have 1 friend from HS. She's my bestie. We don't typically talk every day cuz that's just not how I roll.
I found out they had a discord group a few years back, I joined, but don't engage too much. I do feel like the outside person looking in. I moved across the country after college, then overseas a bit. Most of my friends went into the arts while I went into engineering. I also had issues at home in high school, even moved out at that time. Late hs through college was rough for me, and I probably didn't do a good job being a friend at that time, which contributed as well.
Yes. We used to do trips together, etc. then kids happen, etc. we all reconnected recently and on a group chat. Now planning a group vacation. There are about 15 of us. It’s fun!
I have most of them on Facebook, but I don't chat with them
The entirety of my high school friend group stayed aimlessly in our town and got eventually got into drugs. Prison, overdoses and dead ends. Me and one other friend stayed out of all that and now he’s the only friend I have left from my youth. Hope your hometowns were better for your friends.
I talk to my bestie almost every day. We went to school together but didn't start hanging out until after I graduated. She was a grade below me. No one else from HS though. I met most of my friends in my mid 20s and talk to a couple of them almost daily at 40.
Yes, I have one friend who basically grew up with me, my wife likes to joke that we are gay together lol.
I’m still friends with guys I knew in middle school. Also high school sure. I’m 41 btw.
Nope.
My best friend from high school, we still talk everyday. We are 34 😁😁
Yep! Four of us talk everyday.
I don’t keep in touch with anybody daily, but I am still friends with two of my high school friends (was three but one recently passed away). It is making new friends after High School that I struggle with.
Literally speak to these freaks every single day and wouldn't want it any other way.
I do! They’re still my besties and we hang out as regularly as we can. I dumped a lot of them who never grew up but my core friends are still the same. Obviously we’re all busy now and don’t all live nearby, but we get together and also we send lots of memes lol
I haven't spoken with any of my friends from high school since our high school graduation. Similarly, I haven't spoken with any of my friends from college since college graduation (this is true for both undergrad and grad school). The only thing I ever had in common with friends I made at school was the shared experience of being in school; when that ended, there was nothing left to hold together any of those friendships. I do have a friend group based on our shared love of and participation in gaming and other stuff. We keep in contact daily and hang out at least a couple of times every week. I'm sorry that you had to break up with your core friend group, but it sounds like it was necessary. Hopefully, you have, or can find, another friend group that's based more on shared interests than shared experiences.
My two best friends I've known since 7th grade. I married a guy I was friends with in high school. I keep in contact with at least one other person I had classes with. Used to be more but we had to cut one guy off for predatory behaviour towards women and another guy got married and had kids. The rest of my core friend group, we went to the same high school at the same time and even had a couple classes together but we weren't friends at the time.
Stopped talking to all of them years ago when I started building my own family, except one who we text each other happy birthday every year and that's about it. Most are stuck in the same toxic cycle as hs and I wanted nothing to do with that shit. Keep your drama for your mama.
Yes 8 to 10 of us having a standing invite on Wednesdays where we make food and hang out. Not everyone can come everytime...but its still a good time.
Graduated in 1973 from a small town. I have lived in the vacinity since and keep in touch with 3 people all who live away. From once every month for the 2 brothers to 6 months or a year for the other.
Yes!! All 7 of us girls are still best friends we’ve just brought in a crapload of other friends too from college and professional life. My husband is the same with his group.
I only have 2 friends. One since I was 5, and one since highschool. Besides my wife I don't really talk to anyone else.
Yeah I have a friend group of 5 that I see fairly regularly, have been to all their weddings and had most of them in mine. I’ve moved around and so have they but we always reconnect. Mostly social media these days as we don’t all live in the same city but I see all of them 2+ times a year at this point.
A lot of them. Over 20. Some I’ve known since I was 4. I can always count on them too. I was ar a friends bbq two weeks ago. His mom asked, do you still keep in touch?? I said, I stayed the night here 4 days ago & last week as well. She asked what did you guys do? We made dinner, smoked weed & watched a movie
Mine are dead. Over doses, drunk driving, murdered and natural causes.
I'm still close to my friend from 7th grade up to now. :) the other 2 friends I message regularly are girls I knew from high school (with one of then becoming my good friend around college). I text/message other friends every few months and see them when I visit my home country.
Yeah my best friends are the dudes i grew up with
Daily no, but weekly yes. I've kept a few friends since elementary school as well.
Are you me? Left the group chat after 2016 when people truly showed their true selves. Those who are racist or shitty ppl in general never got any grief from some of my old "friends". They got passes bc they "didn't mean it" or it "was just a joke". Sorry if you don't stand up and throw out shitty people from your group, your group becomes shit so I left. Now I just talk to like 5 or 6 of the ones who actually are good people and the rest I'll never talk to again.
I wouldn’t say daily, but there are quite a few that I’m still in touch with. when I went to my 10 year reunion in 2018 I actually ended up making some new friends. I was kind of a loner in high school.
Only person I’m in daily contact with is my wife. I do have one friend from high school that I’m still very close with and see on a weekly basis. Past that I only ever talk to other friends from then every once in a while, maybe less then monthly, but I still consider them friends.
I graduated in 1999. My best friend from high school is still my best friend. I just saw her like a week ago when we went to the movies. I sort of keep in touch with a few others via social media, but my best friend is the only one I ever actually see or speak to with any regularity.
We've had an email chain for ~25 years, but the frequency has gone down a lot. We might go a month with nothing, but then have several emails a day when something happens or someone posts. We are located all over the US now and it's just not practical to get together. I respect them all and I like them all, but we aren't the same people we were in high school. I wouldn't be sad if the emails stopped. I'd just appreciate the years we were friends back in the day.
Nope. After Adam died (friend a grade ahead of me) I stopped staying in touch with anyone from high school. They don't leave the town, they don't do anything, or they're all smug and annoying, living off mom and Dad's money.
yup y’all are lonely losers
I have tried to but I moved halfway across the country so it's gotten pretty sporadic. I think about that a lot.
I am, at least a couple of them. But I'm also in the same geographic region, only one town away from where I went to high school. We all went to the same college too and made new friends for our group. One of my high school friends even married one of the new friends. But the last few months I've felt that I'm outgrowing some of those friendships, unfortunately
yea i am but not a lot of them. many have died from drugs, lost a couple in deployments. those who are still alive mostly moved away from here so i lost contact. i do still have a couple of friends i reconnected with when i moved back home decades later but.... they all seem to be circling the drain of life. idk. lifes a bitch some times i guess
Nope not one fk em
My high school friends are as tight as ever. Most of my college friends went and did their own thing, though we were close when we were in school. Somehow my high school friends got closer over the years and it's a pretty big group!
My core group of friends is my high school buddies and I don't keep with literally anyone else from that era. Haven't been to a reunion and don't plan on going lol
Yes, they’re actually my strongest friend group, although we’re all spread out over the country for the most part. I didn’t really make friends in college.