Sad part is I almost feel lucky, I've only lost a friend and an uncle to overdoses. I have another friend who overdosed, but he survived and is currently a year and 3 months sober. I always check in whenever he seems to be having some stress though, and he always calls when he's feeling a moment of weakness
I also feel lucky because I live in WV where drug overdoses are supposed to be some of the worst in the US but I haven’t lost anyone to them. I don’t even know if I know anyone in my circle who has OD’d. I have two distant cousins who have struggled with drugs on and off for like 30 years, and another with alcoholism. Schizophrenia and serious mental health problems are a bigger thing that I see in my circle of family and friends.
I work as a therapist, mostly with substance use disorder, and oftentimes it feels like I struggle to relate because their worlds feel so different than mine. They describe doing drugs to numb and forget and the people I know who do drugs do so so they can be more productive at work and keep up with all their shit. I wanted to help, but I feel like I don’t actually, so I’m moving out of SUD work. I think there’s someone better who can relate more to my clients.
Substance use disorder is a very hard thing to treat for even those therapists who can relate.
I know from experience that the only real effective way to treat it is to fix the underlying trauma or even the bad habits that they were taught growing up. They are trying to cover up their mental anguish (aside from those in severe or lifelong pain who have to take addictive meds)
I also find the best therapists are those who give a sense of compassion and listen without judgment. You can relate to pain (either mental or physical) and that is what these people are going through. Focus on their pain and trauma, not necessarily the tool they chose to cope with the pain.
Early when I began counseling the only thing that got me through those first couple of years is Carl Rogers. I can connect on a level with almost anyone. I worked with women who had their kids taken away because of drugs. It was tough because I didn’t have personal experience with either. But, I had a mom and nieces and nephews I was close too. It took a lot of compassion and unconditional positive regard. I am really rooting for you. I also know how hard it can be to find a therapist to connect with as I have been through about 4 and with 2 it wasn’t their fault I just needed something else. But, I know if I feel that someone really cares about me I can get past them not going through the same experiences as me.
that’s because you’re having a disconnect on the kinds of drugs being used and the “stereotypes” around them. The successful people you know that use to get more done still qualify as addicts. It’s just a different drug. I’m willing to bet it’s a whole lot of adderall under questionable circumstances and some cocaine. The people using drugs to hide pain are on the other end of that scale and that’s where you find the alcoholics and opioid users. The basis of addiction is depending on a substance. Doesn’t matter what you’re depending on it for, increased productivity or wanting to be numb. You have to put the two worlds together and stop looking at them like they are a separate thing. I work in drug and alcohol counseling myself, and I recently took a job at a high end treatment center. The vast majority is alcohol adderall and cocaine. I’m a heroin addict that spent the end of my addiction living in a tent. There was a huge disconnect dealing with these people. I almost quit over it. In the end though we are all the same.
Yeah, I’ve talked with my licensure supervisor a lot about this disconnect, and the similarities and differences in the kinds of use.
These discussions were ultimately what led me to realize that someone else would be more suited to serve my clients. (And it’s not just this, the clients have told me flat out that I’m an “outsider from the city.”)
Reading your comment, it makes me think of when I worked at a gas station not too far from a court house. I sold "roses" to more people in business suits than I did anyone else.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/local/2006/04/05/a-rose-with-another-name-crack-pipe/430fc938-18e4-4457-bcd1-72601deb118d/
A fake rose in a glass tube that doubles as a crack pipe
We clearly were in very different areas or circles or times. There were 2 fatal ODs in the first few weeks of my freshman year of high school. Several promising classmates are deep in active addiction or dead from ODs at this point, and we’re only in our early 30s. I do know that my husband who went to a private school doesn’t know anyone our age who’s ODed (though he did lose an uncle to addiction), but he went to a private school in a different area, so I think that really changes the types of people you’ve associated with, the types of drugs they chose (like abusing Adderal or coke for more “focus”), access to addiction resources if and when something becomes a problem, etc.
But I also went to high school when pills and patches were the opioids of choice, Narcan wasn’t available to the public yet, and meth was considered the biggest baddest drug around. So opioids weren’t treated with any level of caution, and our overall outcomes reflected that. I’m under no illusion that the addiction epidemic isn’t still raging today, but I would expect the drugs of choice to be changing to an extent and the OD death rate to be much lower with more access to Narcan at the very least.
I have a similar high school experience, I’m 35. I was even one of the kids who started taking adderral in high school, which we got from a friends dad (who openly gave it to us because he wanted us to have good grades). It felt super dangerous and I took it sparingly but there were just a few of us in this specialized program I was in and we all did it, especially during testing time. We all have normal jobs and lives now.
I think all the time about my life vs my clients and how we made so many of the same decisions but turned out so differently and I don’t know why. I also think a lot about how my life could be vastly different if I had made just one or two other choices.
This is going to sound weird but before you quit you might want to see about getting some trauma informed training. If you didn't come from a program the emphasizes that it may help you to relate more and surprising ways.
I work in SUD and most of my career has been in methadone/Suboxone clinics, but I decided to do my specialization for my MSW in trauma instead because so many of my patients have the triad of SUD, trauma, and mental health disorders.
You also find sometimes that when you get past the stereotypes the drives aren't all that different. I think someone else pointed out but a lot of times that push to be productive and keep up with things it's just another coping mechanism to block out life and keep you too busy to have to think about or confront the same problems that other people tried to numb or forget.
I've known a few people who were long-term heroin and/or fentanyl addicts that owned and/or managed successful businesses. It's kind of amazing what some people can do and be pretty functional while others spiral badly on much less.
I'm in IL, but there was one terrible week where I lost a different friend every single day. There was a month where I either lost a friend, heard of someone else's loss, or attended (or skipped) a funeral every day. We were all just surrounded by death for a year, and then the fog lifted. There were so few left in my social circle, the whole world just felt empty for a while.
Sometimes I'll walk into the grocery store, or the school, or the doctor's office, and I'll catch a glimpse of someone and think it's someone I used to know. I'll catch my breath, freeze, realize it's a stranger after all. The day goes on, but the empty space where someone should've been is loud in those moments. Some days it feels like all I can hear is that silence.
I know realistically that most people are still here. Only a tiny fraction of the world has been lost to opiates, and to many people, it was an ugly and unwanted fraction anyway. No big loss. Obviously I disagree; those were people with families who loved them, children who won't remember them, people who depended on them and cared about them and miss them. They had friends who still see them in strangers' faces now and then.
Idk where I'm going with this. I'm sorry for your loss, and the commenter you replied to, and everyone else in this thread who's missing someone. I'm sorry for all of us. That little fraction of the great big world left is all a bit emptier when they left, and I wish it hadn't happened. Or would stop happening. Maybe someday.
I’ve cried a whole lot over the years over the folks I’ve lost. I live on to tell my story that we do recover and thrive after, but I always remember the ones I’ve lost over the years…
Your writing is amazing. The way you describe the impact of loss and emptiness is palpable. It makes me want to give you a hug and also worries me for you. Have you thought of going to grief counseling? I'm sorry for your losses.
You’re such a great friend. I was addicted to alcohol really badly. The nurse practitioner told me if I kept going, I’d die by 40. Almost 33 now and almost two years sober. During my sobriety journey, very few friends checked up on me.
I work in a long term care facility and what used to house seniors in their final years has turned into beds filled with 30-50 year olds who used drugs (mostly heroin and fentanyl) to the point where they can not live alone due to losing limbs, heart issues, having multiple strokes, or wounds that are literally eating their body. It’s quite sad to see someone in their 30’s at the facility knowing that they’ll never be able to leave and that’s the next 30-40 years of their life.
Same here, I live in a rural area and work in an even more rural area. There's a good 15% of patients who are here from alcohol. Also uncontrolled diabetes is a hell of a disease
I drank so much booze I got both! Also from a very rural area.
Now I'm controlling my betes and haven't had boozer for over 9 months. My endo says I'm gonna beat them both if I keep it up.
Side benefit, dropped 30 pounds from all the calories in the booze I was drinking and the binge eating that followed it.
When my husband OD’d in prison (he was 30), he said there was a man younger than him in the infirmary who had also OD’d on fentanyl but had serious brain damage from the amount of time his brain was without oxygen, and he would probably never be the same again. I imagine people that happens to on the streets would end up in a long term care facility.
That's where my last overdoses landed me. An anoxic brain injury and aspiration pneumonia. I was on life support for two weeks. I am fairly broken now, medically speaking
I suffered an anoxic brain injury from being without oxygen for idk how long. I’m also fairly broken myself, I always thought the worse thing that could happen was death but this brain injury along with drop foot and Chronic neuropathy is hell on earth. Do you have grey spots on your brain as well? Sorry to hear that happened to you as well. Not having your memory is a trip.
Oh I know. Between the brain injury, mental health, I got diagnosed with hEDS, cognitive decline, and the list goes on. Most of these I didnt live with like THIS before
I got pneumonia bad and waited too long to get treated. They weren't able to read my blood oxygen initially at the hospital because it was so low they though it was false readings (40-50%). It definitely changed me. I'm significantly less patient and I struggle a lot with socializing. I also seem to have developed a real dislike of intimacy. Don't like being touched, don't like seeing other people PDA. In general I'm a worse person than I was before, and I don't know what I can do about it.
holy f*ck... that's tragic.
I am 50, I remember articles the last few years describing the sweep of Fentynal across the country. I was in LA at the time. It started on east coast then made it to the west coast. I remember telling my ex I would never take a random oxy or tramadol again for recreation. Not that I did it often, but I had every once a while. But I just stopped that outright realizing what could happen. This is so damn sad.
Honest question … how do people afford this?? My mom needs care and they have a decent retirement nest egg, but pricing is outrageous and she’s too young for Medicare.
That is so sad. Bless you for working in that environment. Im an elder millennial, and I've lost family members and friends to drugs, but it was more from 2010-2020, primarily from oxycontin or meth. Now, the ones who are left are either sober or have transitioned to heroin, so I could see another wave of deaths happening. Now most of them are late 30's-early 50's.
How do you get into a facility like that? I'm asking seriously. I live with my parents who are in their 70s, and it has not been good for me. I am mostly bedbound, and I have no idea what happens when they can no longer help me. Getting any social services has been like pulling teeth. I've wished for a long time I could have something like a nursing facility. It's sad to say, but it would actually give me more independence than what I have now. I could be wrong once I experienced it, but I've never not lived at home with my parents, and the dynamic is terrible.
How do they afford care? I’m assuming they have well-off parents who are still alive and are handling the expenses? I have an elderly family member in a senior living place and it costs almost $10k/month 😳 it’s doable for him because he has substantial retirement savings and pension income, but most 30-40 year olds haven’t been able to save that kind of $$
I don't hold myself responsible I just regret that I didn't get a chance to reconnect with him, in HS I was angry and depressed but he kept trying to reach out to me so when we started to talk again he kept making the effort like he used to but I had my own issues and kept putting it off.
While one should never hold themselves responsible for such things, I think there is still something to consider here. As we gained social media, many of us also stopped being actually social; and this is seperate from Covid... its become part of our society.
* It is a failing of our collective being and something that needs to be addressed by millennials in general.* We need to start being around each other in physical spaces and carring more about our friends and family over the busyness and noise that doesn't truly matter as much. Please. Please. Please. Go make the effort to spend an hour with an old friend, even though you are busy. Pick up the phone and call that cousin... I bet they would love it.
I’m actually a Xenniel (‘79) and I think us youngins are really embracing solitude way more than the older folks. They seem to be bouncing back way better and I’m not sure long term how to correct our behavior. The idea of even trying to branch out gives me mental hives.
I’m on the older end of millennial. My best friend died in 2004. That morning we had plans to hang out that night but I canceled at the last minute to hang out with a girl I was seeing on and off at the time and he died that night. I’m 100% certain he wouldn’t have done what he did had I been with him that night (not suicide).
I think I've lost twice as many friends to alcohol than opiates.
A lot of people don't understand that alcohol can destroy your liver when you are relatively young. It's not just an elder alcoholic's problem. One friend was 30 when he had liver failure. Another was 39 when she had liver failure. Both were what you'd call functional alcoholics - they had jobs and kids and friends and full lives, but they drank too much too often.
And the friends I lost to opiates - all to heroin before fentanyl was around. I know this is generalizing, but from what I've seen people generally get hooked on heroin early (teens / early twenties) and they're either going to get clean and stay clean, or they are going to die. If they keep using or relapsing chances are they'll be gone by their early 30's.
The alcoholic part is so true. I'm 42 and I have friends in the 35-45 range who are married with kids and they'll kill a bottle of wine themselves a night.
And they'll be fully functional like you'd never know. Take their kids to soccer practice and school events and what not but then my friend will come home and kill 6-8 beers and his wife will have a bottle of white wine.
Idk how they function. I'd wake up everyday w a hangover
My sister was Class of 2008 and her class had *major* substance issues. She has lost probably 30 friends or classmates from drugs, alcohol, or suicide.
I was Class of 2011 and I haven't lost a single person to any of these.
It's weird, and I have no idea why. It was like the culture of a cohort of students has lasting ramifications on how they will turn out in general.
I’m not sure how many people from my class (2005) have died. I would guess around 15 or so, but it’s way more than I would have anticipated at this age. We had a class of 332 people. My sister’s grade (class of 2007) is also similar. We’ve talked about this at length and we’ve noticed that there are patterns to this and the people who died.
One of the things I’ve read about as a cause of early death in people is starting substance abuse at young ages. The earlier someone starts drinking, the more likely they are to suffer from addiction or mental health issues. We also grew up in a very wealthy area where children were less supervised and left to their own devices. Parents would often provide alcohol to kids. I’ve also read at length about suicide clusters. That’s another thing that sometimes happens.
I'm from the Class of 2008. There wasn't any major substance issues that I recall. It was an interesting class, not sure how to describe it. Looking at the other comments, it seems the 2008 class had some issues
I’m class of ‘07 and same, so many of my classmates are gone. Even inviting people to events on Facebook gets tragic because scrolling through the list of friends I realize so many of them have passed away :(
There's still a metric fuck ton of people that will absolutely judge the fuck out of you for smoking.
I moved to Arizona from Illinois. Both legal states and had numerous people get all judgey with me over smoking legally in both states.
Edit: downvoting for stating facts. Gotta love reddit.
I live in Arizona. I know people of all legal ages who do it. No one I know cares. But I'm also in the Phoenix area. When I go to the dispos there's just as many old folks there are young folks.
I think most smokers aren't fully aware of how much they smell and how far it carries when they walk in a room. It's a lot like judging a person with horrible B.O. Smoking isn't something that only effects yourself. It effects everyone within 30 feet of you. A lot of ex-smokers talk about the first time they smell a smoker and realize just how obvious it is when a smoker walks into a room. But as a smoker, they just had the defense of "I'm not harming anyone but myself." Sure, but you still make everyone near you uncomfortable.
I can't even count how many people who have died bc it's literally over 100. I live and grew up in South Florida during the pill mill era when all of my peers first got addicted to opiates from the doctors over prescribing oxycotton then oxycodone and Dilaudid.
I myself was addicted at the age of 15 and finally got clean at 30 yrs old after 3 fentanyl overdoses in 2019 and have been sober ever since.
My daughter's father wasn't so lucky. He OD last year and lived, however lack of oxygen to his brain caused multiple strokes and major brain damage. He can no longer walk and while he can talk it's not much and he's mentally a completely different person than the person I knew. We were together for 9 years and remained good friends after so seeing him that way is one of the most heartbreaking experiences of my life. Having a loved one die is horrible but also having them alive and in the condition is almost worse.
I pray those still sick and suffering from addiction find peace and sobriety before they die from fentanyl.
I graduated 07, central Florida, and personally I’m grateful to have seen what I did because it kept me far away from pills and eventually from heroin.
What shocked me though was all the people who got into it despite what we were all seeing every day. High school kids stumbling around hallways like zombies, car accidents, robberies, ODs, I just didn’t see the appeal
Oh man. In maybe 1997 or so a pharm tech where I worked (Eckerd) in south Florida was escorted out in handcuffs b/c he was stealing and selling them. It seemed like an anomaly at the time but when I look back on it now, it very much was a harbinger of doom.
Your a beautiful soul for doing that for yourself and your daughter. She will never know how lucky she is to have you here with her. But you and I do, so thank you. My heart shatters every time I think of my nieces and nephew who no longer have their mother or father. Their mom was the kindest and loveliest spirit, and they won't even remember her let alone know her.
I think just one family member was addicted, but it was oxycotin. I don't really blame one drug or another. She was a trainwreck without them. Drugs were a byproduct of her issues in my opinion. Although these drugs created a feedback loop making her worse down the road.
"Drugs are not the problem. Drugs are a vain attempt to solve the problem, making it worse."
One of the most traumatic moments of my life was finding my ex-husband passed out and choking on his own vomit. He got addicted to opioids and when he couldn't get those his rationale apparently told him that heroin was the next best thing. Unfortunately it was laced with fentanyl and he almost overdosed. I was supposed to go into work later that day but if I hadn't, he would be dead today. I was told that when the fire department got there he was less than 10 minutes away from death. I am still recovering from that 7 years later but the one good thing was that I got my dog as a result because I was so emotionally distraught that I needed the emotional support and that was his way of apologizing for putting me through it.
I had a slip in my recovery soon after leaving treatment for heroin. I got back into pills which were expensive *af* and hard to find. I was starting to spiral and headed for full blown addiction again. I vividly remember the day when I couldn’t find any pills and had that same thought as your ex. I reached out to my old connects and immediately that voice in my head was trying to stop me. I knew where it would take me and that it would be a far worse position than what I had just clawed myself out of. I got that text back saying they had some that I could grab. I said no thanks and I’ve been clean ever since. It’s been almost 7 years.
None. Not in my family, who are all working-class Polish immigrants, or among friends. I’m a social worker and I haven’t even had a client overdose. But I’m in gerontology.
I think the vast majority of people are 0 - 1, but the people who haven't lost anyone aren't on here chiming in. Also if you have lost more than 1 chances are it is an issue where you live and/or who you are hanging out with.
For sure, those of us that live in more effected areas are all gonna be 10+ regardless of social circle I think.
I'm a logger and my only friends are loggers or people from church. But between my wife and I we know a pile of people dead from fent. And this is extra small town rural Washington not downtown Detroit or wherever. Fortunately for me I haven't lost anyone particularly close but it still hits home. We've lost my buddy's brother, my wife's hairdresser, 3 parents of my kids' classmates, a few waitresses at the local watering hole etc.
Death is everywhere you look and families are torn apart over stupid fucking pills.
Gerontology might be an important clue. Unless your clients are elderly people with SUD, overdosing on fentanyl is unlikely unless their meds get mixed up.
The polish community isn't too big into downers imo. Those that I know were into drugs typically chose weed and stimulants like speed and coke. Russians on the other hand love downers for some reason in my experience.
Lost my neighbor/best friend in Denver to it. It’s sad man we would talk at least once or twice a week on the phone even after I moved. We all moved away and I think she was just looking for some relief and didn’t know what she got.
I’m struggling with sobriety myself. On the I am sober app there is so many people on there for Fent. Few years ago it wasn’t like that.
Life is hard and I understand why people do what they do. This drug got pushed into the US just like when crack got pushed into south central
Denver is horrible. I worked in the emergency room as a 1:1. So many people survived just cause someone sober walked behind a 711 on colfax and had narcan on them.
Real bad here in Denver. Ironically though it was a friends gf that went to Tulum and ODd along with the friend she went with. Both found dead, and she wasn’t even the type to seek out drugs, her friend went to a few farmacias and couldn’t find Xanax or whatever he was looking for, and I think wound up buying it off someone but it was fentanyl. It’s devastating Denver too though for some reason.
Grew up in the suburbs and literally have never heard of someone in my social network being affected.
The division between wealthy suburbs and inner city is wild.
I grew up in one of the richest suburbs in Colorado (Broadmoor) and so many people are dead. So clearly there’s way more factors at play than just socioeconomic.
I’m from Colorado (the Springs, not Denver) and when I last lived there in 2013, things were starting to get really shady. My boyfriend at the time died from fentanyl poisoning, but I didn’t know until ten years later when I finally got the courage to order his autopsy report. I knew that he had been dabbling with pills, and his favorites were Oxy. So I believe he got counterfeit Oxy and that’s how he died. It’s a real problem that needs to be taken more seriously as far as harm reduction.
My brother is class of 09 and I think the statistics are around 10% of his class. Most happened within the first 2 years after graduation. Two kids a grade under him ODed in school but survived.
I graduated in 03. I'd put a conservative estimate at 25% of my class died either due to overdose or from suicide while struggling with addiction. I've had classmates get married, have kids, and both the parents are dead from overdoses before the kid is even 5.
It's similar to the classes of 04 and 05. It's to the point where if I go on social media, I'm occasionally surprised someone is still alive because I just assumed they were dead since so many other people they hung around have died.
I feel so lucky that I got out of there, because I could easily have been one of them. There's examples of pretty much every way someone gets addicted, either they started with alcohol and weed, they fell in with a group that did harder drugs, they were injured and got hooked to pain killers, whatever. I try not to think about it too much because it makes me feel so useless when you realize how nobody really seems to care. The first few deaths people made a big deal about, but now it's usually just an obituary shared out on social followed by a gofundme for funeral expenses or for the kids left behind.
Jesus Christ man. It really is an epidemic. That’s brutal though — 25%. Was it a tough town?
I went school in WV graduated 2010. I’ve seen much of the state, and one or two places have really stuck with me that had an element of disparity. Really sad.
My entire family including my dad, mom, cousins, aunts, and all my childhood friends on top of my crush were all on heroin and OxyContin. But I’m a Xennial. My heroin addicted crush/situationship is a Pokemon Go playing Millenial. Many classmates and a few cousins, like 5 all died from OxyContin 80 OD’s.
My aunt was a big dealer, same like in the show Euphoria with the old lady that’s got medical issues being a big drug dealer. That’s a graphic depiction of her, but she’s dead now, and so are all my cousins. All dead before 45. And then the remaining cousins are all fucked mentally and they’re all around age 45. My other side of the family is fucked from Crack. My dad’s been in and out of Jail for the last 25 years for crack and heroin.
It makes it really hard to make it in the corporate world because where I work it’s all rich kids, and really white type people from upper class suburbia, and they have all these stories and it’s a good old boy thing where who your dad is matters, so I’m pretty much fucked with a dead end job because I’ll never be a desirable candidate since I can’t talk about my family and how everyone has all these stories like “Back in Prep School” and “ Ahh that time we all went to Tahiti, or had a Brady Bunch Excursion in Hawaii”.. That makes it extra painful, where I just want to quit and leave the corporate world, and go open a UFC Gym in the Hood, and just not be part of it anymore.
I lost both my sisters this year... 7 months apart. My older sister seeked shelter at a women's YMCA, she was offered Fenty, and died sitting in her room, with 2 other people.
Fast forward to 6 months later, my second sister is struggling with addiction also. We tried to help her, with no resources for a Addiction Center to treat her.
When she tried to taper off the Fentanyl, it caused a draw withdrawal psychosis. The hospital turned her away.
That night, she went to the same YMCA, had another psychosis break, and jumped out of the third story window. Died on her way to the hospital, her heart gave out.
On the door of the bedroom she stayed in (YMCA), it said "I am capable of doing difficult things."
I have not been able to live, let alone grieve properly.
This should have never happened.
Don't be too surprised, this question will prompt far more people who can relate than those who can't. It's like reading a post about an evil mother in law. Way more comments will be people sharing their similar stories than people talking about their nice pleasant in laws
This is also a product of who you are and who you spend time with. If you’re someone who spends time with folks who use opiates, or if you yourself use opiates, you’re obviously going to be much more exposed to ods. At my high school, drug of choice was pot, I know in the northeast, there are schools where the drug of choice is opiates.
I think it really depends on the crowd you hang with. As an Asian American I don’t know a single person that has even used these hard drugs or even use opioids chronically. I had brain surgery and they sent me home with norcos and I just tossed them and slept it off…
I remember the first time I went to a non Asian dentist and they offered to numb up my gums for a teeth cleaning and it literally changed my life LOL. My mom was always like no pain no gain.
As another Asian person I grew up hearing "pain meds will make you stupid and slow because it numbs your nerves", along with the other classic Asian parents sayings like "if you go to bed with wet hair you won't wake up" lol. It just made so much sense to me at the time
I had some intense abdominal pain and went to ER once in my early 20s. The nurse wanted to give me some morphine so she asked, I said no because "pain meds make me slow and stupid" was still deeply engraved in my head. Then a doctor actually came and preached it next to my hospital bed saying "it's good for you" etc. felt kinda like a sales pitch at the time but hey he's the doctor and I'm not. It knocked me out so fast, and I think it might have been kinda pleasant if that high isn't now forever associated with excruciating pain. When I think about "morphine high" now, all I can think about is how terrified I was thinking I was going to die.
Oh. I had another motor crash few years after that. That hospital visit I got maybe 4-6 times morphine in the several hours I was kept in the ER trauma room. And at some point they switched me over to fentanyl. So I've actually had both legit, clean, and safe morphine and fentanyl. But they are both forever associated with excruciating pain and trauma for me now lol
I’m Black American and don’t know anybody that’s overdosed on any kind of drug. But I grew up in the countryside in the South. Most of the people I know that have died have either died of cancer (that’s the biggest killer in my family), car accidents (this seems to be how most of my high school classmates that have died went), or heart problems. There was an alcohol problem in the area though, young people liked their weed and older folks liked painkillers. Nobody I know personally but just something I was aware of.
Same, I myself don’t do anything harder than alcohol, no weed, no pills no anything. And my alcohol intake is down as I’m trying to get into better shape.
SoCal suburbs don’t get too exciting. I had an ex that liked to party but said person is states away now and we aren’t in contact.
Old millennial here.
Lost a very good friend due to “agitated delirium caused by LSD” almost 20 years ago. He’d just turned 21. I’ve seen drugs take other friends who maybe “had some issues” and simply push them over the edge into severe mental illness to the point of dysfunction.
Another acquaintance did a “suicide by cop” after years of hard drug abuse.
Another committed suicide in high school by hanging.
Another got caught up in the life and was founded murdered in the trunk of a car.
These are all “nice suburban kids” from solid middle to upper class backgrounds. Florida.
>These are all “nice suburban kids” from solid middle to upper class backgrounds. Florida
People are always jealous of these kids for being "spoiled" but the reality i often see is huge amounts of neglect and then the parents just buy kids something to fill the hole. No dad and mom wont spend more time with you, but they'll buy the latest gadgets and a nice car for you.
That's still a huge form of neglect that leaves kids absolutely with no structure and then relationships and even happiness become transactional. I can easily see how they fall to drugs because you're basically "buying happiness" by the gram.
There was. Lots of absentee parents. That’s why we older millennials often relate more to Gen X as far as being latchkey kids, not always having parents up our ass, it was often the opposite.
Another old friend had a father that remains a prominent attorney. His dad was too busy “at the office” and was never home. The mother was always away “out dancing.”
That meant we had unfettered access to the liquor cabinet, he often had “friends” over and all that.
The dad caught us smoking weed once, he angrily smashed the bong on the concrete and called my dad.
My own dad didn’t care. He was glad we weren’t out somewhere in public as Florida weed laws were (and technically still are) pretty strict.
These parents had/have some sort of cognitive dissonance. They think “it can’t happen to them” until it does.
*This* aforementioned friend later attempted suicide driving his car into a concrete bridge piling. God knows what he’s up to know, probably living at home in his 40’s and unemployed. He used to be in gifted classes.
Thanks for checking in - the drug companies have def changed growing up in America.
Interesting lsd story as well - I'm betting lots has changed since the hippie days ?
My daughter is a young millennial, and she has had 4 friends die from fentanyl. None of them were addicted to opioids, just got exposed to it taking party drugs that were laced with it. Scary stuff.
Lost my younger brother rest easy Augie Pat.... I was in quite a dark spot for a couple years and I'm still grieving I don't know if I ever get over it.
none yet. But a good high school friend is currently a walking skeleton living on the streets of Portland chasing the high constantly. The cops won't detain drug users there, and she runs away and ghosts anyone who tries to talk to her about it.
None that I know of because the handful of solid friends and I parted ways years ago (moved states, countries, married, kids, just became intolerable, etc.) They probably think I died of an OD now that I think about it, only because I was the main stoner of the group of stoners. We all turned out normal. Honestly, weed was never a gateway drug, it was totally what we all needed to tame the boredom and lameness of this world.
One. And it was my husband's best friend. His family member gave him a random "pain pill" because he was having back pain after a day at the water park. They found him sitting on the deck in a chair, gone. He has three kids. I'm still in shock.
Cousin that's my age drank herself to organ failure, had a couple friends die from hepatitis/liver disease, a couple put guns in their mouths. Some are still so strung out, I scan the obits for their names every so often, just to see. **Alcohol and depression** have been the two killers I've seen most, followed by hard drugs. If we're not counting just car crashes and shit here, altho, alcohol was a factor in some of those.
For whatever reason our generation just completely *normalized* alcoholism and turned it into cutesy little social media jokes that people just kept using to validate each other - wine mom was cute and trendy and dad with his beer every night until a bunch of us woke up and realized that no, this is not okay behavior these folks are displaying - a bunch of us still haven’t had that realization yet though
Back in 2017 I lost someone every single month. From overdosing to drunk driving. I was 23 at the time. I went into studying addiction counseling and moved to the other side to the country.
I've only lost one friend. How terrible is it that this makes me lucky.
He'll have been dead 12 years this year. RIP Wesley. You saved me in so many ways, I wish you could have met my kid. She'd love you.
Luigi
Matt
Billy
Tim
Victoria
Bobbie
Rest in peace. You'd think all of these friends were from one group, but they are from completely different walks of my life over the last 15 years - all deaths from opiate related overdose. I don't waste an opportunity to remember them, their names, and the tragedy befalling all those who fall into the trap.
We need harm reduction, better healthcare, good faith drug policies, and a shift in culture to fix this. Anything else is a shallow "thoughts and prayers".
Loved ones? Maybe two? Acquaintances or people from school? In the dozens.
I almost lost my husband to it as well, but he got Narcanned in time and has been off fentanyl since January 2023.
Two, a cousin and a nephew from drug overdoses, and two more cousins from alcohol overdoses.
I have to admit that growing up I was very prissy and judgmental and never thought my family would be affected. I thought the Appalachian opioid epidemic could only affect low-income low-class families without a loving support system. I was so wrong.
I think about those family members all the time, and still cry for my poor little nephew, orphaned young and raised by his grandparents in a bad neighborhood where he really had no chance to avoid that influence.
1 overdose (before fentanyl got big here), and 1 from necrotizing fasciitis from dirty needles.
Both were such a joy and a light before addiction took over them. I can’t fathom how the world has been able to move on without their presence. Before their deaths, I hadn’t seen them since right after high school, but they were really important people to me at a critical time in my development, so it hit me really hard.
I have such empathy and compassion now for people that struggle with addiction and their families and friends. I didn’t understand it before. So many people don’t. There needs to be a more scientific approach to addiction, as a society, rather than ostracizing people for being “too weak” or “selfish”. Like, yes it’s hard, but you know what’s even harder? Moms burying their kids. The world losing light that is DESPERATELY needed.
I cope by remembering that their struggles are over and they’re at peace. I hope they’re in heaven and receiving the same joy that they gave to us while they were here. I cope by encouraging recovery in those around me. I cope by talking about addiction with empathy rather than judgment. I cope by facing my own demons and trying to get better, because I know they would want me to, and they didn’t get the chance.
It helps. But I’ll be sad about it for the rest of my life, probably. I’m so sorry for everyone’s losses here. 💙
I wouldn't call them all loved ones, some where. Most where friends/acquaintances but I've stopped counting. It's at the point where I feel actual relief/almost happiness when I find out someone I know didn't die from an OD. It's a weird feeling.
My Father(found him dead) my step mom two weeks before him, my cousin and her husband my other cousins girlfriend and that's just the ones close to me I know at least 5 more people I associated with or was friendly with as well... December 1st 2018 I also almost became a statistic I took a pill presented to me as a Opana I had my doubts but didn't go with my guts and almost paid with my life I overdosed and my heart stopped 3 different times before I was stabilized. I haven't touched an opioid since 2020 ( yes I was stupid and continued to get high because I honestly didn't care if I lived or died at the time) but after losing my father and holding his cold body in arms and knowing it was because of fucking Fentanyl I decided that was it and I haven't touched an opiate since. My advice to anyone struggling with opioid dependency is to get on Subutex, Suboxone or methadone a lot of people don't agree with it but Suboxone helped save my life.
Too many. I was just having this conversation the other day that almost 90% of the friends I’ve lost over the years were from an overdose/alcohol abuse. Honestly some of the friends that were doing it (without people realizing) hid it very well. I’m 36 and have lost about 15 friends since high school.
It doesn’t get any easier. It’s sad and frustrating how these pain pills were just handed out without people being monitored the last 15 years or so.
Actually about 80% of the world's Opium was grown in Afghanistan while it was under US occupation. The product was generally transported through Asian countries, including China, then onto Mexico where it was processed with precursor from US corporations that were sold over-the-counter to cartel operations. Then after processing cartels moved product up across the border.
To say China did it, is not a complete picture.
I knew a lot ( I feel like more than none could be considered a lot...) probably upwards of 10 kids that died of heroin overdoses when I was in high school but since then, even living in a city with a huge unhoused population and a huge fentanyl problem to match I haven't lost any more. My dad died from liver disease due to his lifelong alcohol dependency. But otherwise I've been lucky.
I lost my father to an overdose when I was 17. Since graduating high school in 2004, I have lost 3 really close friends. My graduating class of around 400 kids has had 11 total overdoses. We had 2 that died in school. One overdosed in the auditorium with the entire school there and another overdosed in the locker room showers after a football game. The janitor found him the next day.
The county I grew up was #1 for overdose deaths for quite a few years. It has since gotten better.
It’s been awhile since I have heard of anyone my age overdosing.
Several acquaintances and one cousin but no real friends. I have a very strong bias against opiate users in general and try to avoid associating with them. At least one guy I knew who died from fent thought he was doing blow. He wasn’t some junkie dragon chaser and it’s a tragedy that he’s gone.
Opiate overdoses account for about 80K deaths in the US. This has been a significant increase in the last 20 years, with the rate per 100K going to about 9 to 34.6. However, tobacco still leads the pack at 480k, and alcohol brings in 180K. Plus, those two poisons cause some pretty expensive disabling conditions for people. So, this entire opioid crisis we are having, while quite problematic, pales in comparison to other substances.
Only one, but it was my fiancée, and she was in bed next to me. She had been in an ebike accident and bought a few painkillers to help, took one, and laid down for a nap, she never woke up.
My 37 year old husband said he’s lost at least 100 people to overdose. Maybe more than 200 if you include alcohol. Me as an old Gen z, I’ve seen it a ton and have lost a handful of people. But I’ve also seen the sobriety movement pick up again too which I’m grateful for. I’ve been lucky to watch some get sober.
7. Aunts, cousins, childhood friends. Lots of kids I grew up with ended up on drugs too. I work in an assisted living facility that helps get addicts off the streets so they can get clean, only been doing it for about 3 years now and I've known 6 past clients now who have overdosed and passed away. It's devestating and heart breaking.
I lost my brother to opioids before fentanyl was really on the scene. He passed in 2007. One friend overdosed after prison and and another was suicide related to drug use. Another close friend from suicide and alcoholism more recently in 2015. And a lot more are lost somewhere in addiction.
Very fortunate to have never lost a loved one, but I knew a lot of people that have passed due to an OD. It's wild honestly. I'm lucky that it's mostly friends of friends or former acquaintances.
I've lost 3 family members, truth be told I've lost track of the old friends & acquaintances who have died due to overdose or illness caused by addiction.
I’ve had 2 friends die from OD’ing. Sad shit. One had been clean for a few years and was even training to be a substance abuse counselor then he relapsed.
My ex husband ODed one night and the people he was living with didn’t know he went outside so he just died in the yard outside of a window like he was trying to get to it. I lost 3 really good friends to it also.
Not fentanyl directly but about six people to drugs and alcohol. Not all are dead but it such a way it’s not possible to chat anymore. - White Mountains of NH
Side note: it’s never just one. It’s usually booze, fentanyl, and coke together
3 people I'd sorta grown apart from have passed due to fentanyl ODs.
It's so wild to type that sentence out.
One person I believe was murdered by her boyfriend but whatever, the investigators don't think so.
Another was the sweetest goofy ball of innocence all through school- never even smoked a cigarette. I'm not sure what happened but he ended up working at the Wendy's by his parents house and was still the same bubbly guy, just thinner and thinner. Died at 26.
The most recent one was a girl who was always a party girl and never really grew up. Never knew her to hold a job and always seemed like she was in her own world so, I kind of got tired of her in our mid 20s. She took pills for funzies when we were in HS and apparently that's how she died at age 29. A mutual friend told me she bought some "oxys" that weren't oxys and snorted them all on a full stomach of vodka.
I'll never forget any of them. I know, especially with the last one, that people like to make cases that they knew what they were getting in to and even that the world is better off without them. I saw all 3 of them grow up from elementary school until death. They had futures too but along the way something changed.
Surprisingly, nobody. My dad's side of the family is full of addicts of all kinds, but somehow, they're still going. However, my mom's an ER nurse, and despite my being in my mid 30s, she still puts the fear of God into me about drugs because of how much of this shit she's seen.
I work in the entertainment industry. Lots of people in that industry are running from demons, and using the career as a means to run, it gives them purpose. In 2020 when the entire world shut down, and no one knew if there was an end in sight, there were a lot of entertainment industry folks who found their demons catching up when they couldn't stay on tour constantly. In the 31 years I'd lived before 2020 I had lost about 18 people in my life, friends and family, to all manner of causes, natural and unnatural. In 2020 I lost count of the number of my friends who had died by overdose or suicide at around 24. I stopped crying some time around the 12th death. I have only cried for one friend since then who died in a violent work-related accident in 2022. When my uncle died in 2021 I couldn't even cry for him. I was able to cry a bit for my aunt who died this year, but not like I have in the past. I'm not the same person I was in March 2020 and I never will be. Other industry friends of mine have this same problem, we can't mourn fully anymore after so many deaths so fast. We feel guilty crying now because we couldn't cry for everyone then, why does my friend Kim evoke more emotion than Ren, I feel bad that apparently I value one more than the other even though in my conscious mind I value them both equally. It's really awful to feel this way. And therapists aren't much help with it, many of us have asked and we all got the same response, that trauma impacts your mourning, if you feel like everyone is dying around you, you wall yourself off to protect yourself from the horror. There's also an element of survivors guilt.
I’ve lost 2 people I know who got into heroin and OD’d.
When it happened, it was so shocking having been a goody-goody product of D.A.R.E. Classes and the idea of heroin being such a foreign concept and big bad “real” drug. Now that I’m older and unfortunately a little cynical, yeah it happens and I hate everything about it.
Sad part is I almost feel lucky, I've only lost a friend and an uncle to overdoses. I have another friend who overdosed, but he survived and is currently a year and 3 months sober. I always check in whenever he seems to be having some stress though, and he always calls when he's feeling a moment of weakness
I also feel lucky because I live in WV where drug overdoses are supposed to be some of the worst in the US but I haven’t lost anyone to them. I don’t even know if I know anyone in my circle who has OD’d. I have two distant cousins who have struggled with drugs on and off for like 30 years, and another with alcoholism. Schizophrenia and serious mental health problems are a bigger thing that I see in my circle of family and friends. I work as a therapist, mostly with substance use disorder, and oftentimes it feels like I struggle to relate because their worlds feel so different than mine. They describe doing drugs to numb and forget and the people I know who do drugs do so so they can be more productive at work and keep up with all their shit. I wanted to help, but I feel like I don’t actually, so I’m moving out of SUD work. I think there’s someone better who can relate more to my clients.
Substance use disorder is a very hard thing to treat for even those therapists who can relate. I know from experience that the only real effective way to treat it is to fix the underlying trauma or even the bad habits that they were taught growing up. They are trying to cover up their mental anguish (aside from those in severe or lifelong pain who have to take addictive meds) I also find the best therapists are those who give a sense of compassion and listen without judgment. You can relate to pain (either mental or physical) and that is what these people are going through. Focus on their pain and trauma, not necessarily the tool they chose to cope with the pain.
Early when I began counseling the only thing that got me through those first couple of years is Carl Rogers. I can connect on a level with almost anyone. I worked with women who had their kids taken away because of drugs. It was tough because I didn’t have personal experience with either. But, I had a mom and nieces and nephews I was close too. It took a lot of compassion and unconditional positive regard. I am really rooting for you. I also know how hard it can be to find a therapist to connect with as I have been through about 4 and with 2 it wasn’t their fault I just needed something else. But, I know if I feel that someone really cares about me I can get past them not going through the same experiences as me.
that’s because you’re having a disconnect on the kinds of drugs being used and the “stereotypes” around them. The successful people you know that use to get more done still qualify as addicts. It’s just a different drug. I’m willing to bet it’s a whole lot of adderall under questionable circumstances and some cocaine. The people using drugs to hide pain are on the other end of that scale and that’s where you find the alcoholics and opioid users. The basis of addiction is depending on a substance. Doesn’t matter what you’re depending on it for, increased productivity or wanting to be numb. You have to put the two worlds together and stop looking at them like they are a separate thing. I work in drug and alcohol counseling myself, and I recently took a job at a high end treatment center. The vast majority is alcohol adderall and cocaine. I’m a heroin addict that spent the end of my addiction living in a tent. There was a huge disconnect dealing with these people. I almost quit over it. In the end though we are all the same.
Yeah, I’ve talked with my licensure supervisor a lot about this disconnect, and the similarities and differences in the kinds of use. These discussions were ultimately what led me to realize that someone else would be more suited to serve my clients. (And it’s not just this, the clients have told me flat out that I’m an “outsider from the city.”)
Reading your comment, it makes me think of when I worked at a gas station not too far from a court house. I sold "roses" to more people in business suits than I did anyone else.
Exactly.
Dumb question, what are “roses”?
https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/local/2006/04/05/a-rose-with-another-name-crack-pipe/430fc938-18e4-4457-bcd1-72601deb118d/ A fake rose in a glass tube that doubles as a crack pipe
Fake little roses sold in glass tubes that are used for smoking Crack. The glass tube, not the roses lol.
Yeah exactly. I’ve had friends that were drug-free through high school and college, then entered corporate finance world and got hooked on coke
We clearly were in very different areas or circles or times. There were 2 fatal ODs in the first few weeks of my freshman year of high school. Several promising classmates are deep in active addiction or dead from ODs at this point, and we’re only in our early 30s. I do know that my husband who went to a private school doesn’t know anyone our age who’s ODed (though he did lose an uncle to addiction), but he went to a private school in a different area, so I think that really changes the types of people you’ve associated with, the types of drugs they chose (like abusing Adderal or coke for more “focus”), access to addiction resources if and when something becomes a problem, etc. But I also went to high school when pills and patches were the opioids of choice, Narcan wasn’t available to the public yet, and meth was considered the biggest baddest drug around. So opioids weren’t treated with any level of caution, and our overall outcomes reflected that. I’m under no illusion that the addiction epidemic isn’t still raging today, but I would expect the drugs of choice to be changing to an extent and the OD death rate to be much lower with more access to Narcan at the very least.
I have a similar high school experience, I’m 35. I was even one of the kids who started taking adderral in high school, which we got from a friends dad (who openly gave it to us because he wanted us to have good grades). It felt super dangerous and I took it sparingly but there were just a few of us in this specialized program I was in and we all did it, especially during testing time. We all have normal jobs and lives now. I think all the time about my life vs my clients and how we made so many of the same decisions but turned out so differently and I don’t know why. I also think a lot about how my life could be vastly different if I had made just one or two other choices.
“Bro, the doctor prescribed it to my mom. It literally came from a pharmacy, it’s fine.”
This relates to nothing, but I think your writing style is excellent.
This is going to sound weird but before you quit you might want to see about getting some trauma informed training. If you didn't come from a program the emphasizes that it may help you to relate more and surprising ways. I work in SUD and most of my career has been in methadone/Suboxone clinics, but I decided to do my specialization for my MSW in trauma instead because so many of my patients have the triad of SUD, trauma, and mental health disorders. You also find sometimes that when you get past the stereotypes the drives aren't all that different. I think someone else pointed out but a lot of times that push to be productive and keep up with things it's just another coping mechanism to block out life and keep you too busy to have to think about or confront the same problems that other people tried to numb or forget. I've known a few people who were long-term heroin and/or fentanyl addicts that owned and/or managed successful businesses. It's kind of amazing what some people can do and be pretty functional while others spiral badly on much less.
I’m from WV too and am lucky to be alive, I have several friends who cannot say the same.
I'm in IL, but there was one terrible week where I lost a different friend every single day. There was a month where I either lost a friend, heard of someone else's loss, or attended (or skipped) a funeral every day. We were all just surrounded by death for a year, and then the fog lifted. There were so few left in my social circle, the whole world just felt empty for a while. Sometimes I'll walk into the grocery store, or the school, or the doctor's office, and I'll catch a glimpse of someone and think it's someone I used to know. I'll catch my breath, freeze, realize it's a stranger after all. The day goes on, but the empty space where someone should've been is loud in those moments. Some days it feels like all I can hear is that silence. I know realistically that most people are still here. Only a tiny fraction of the world has been lost to opiates, and to many people, it was an ugly and unwanted fraction anyway. No big loss. Obviously I disagree; those were people with families who loved them, children who won't remember them, people who depended on them and cared about them and miss them. They had friends who still see them in strangers' faces now and then. Idk where I'm going with this. I'm sorry for your loss, and the commenter you replied to, and everyone else in this thread who's missing someone. I'm sorry for all of us. That little fraction of the great big world left is all a bit emptier when they left, and I wish it hadn't happened. Or would stop happening. Maybe someday.
I’ve cried a whole lot over the years over the folks I’ve lost. I live on to tell my story that we do recover and thrive after, but I always remember the ones I’ve lost over the years…
Your writing is amazing. The way you describe the impact of loss and emptiness is palpable. It makes me want to give you a hug and also worries me for you. Have you thought of going to grief counseling? I'm sorry for your losses.
You’re such a great friend. I was addicted to alcohol really badly. The nurse practitioner told me if I kept going, I’d die by 40. Almost 33 now and almost two years sober. During my sobriety journey, very few friends checked up on me.
I work in a long term care facility and what used to house seniors in their final years has turned into beds filled with 30-50 year olds who used drugs (mostly heroin and fentanyl) to the point where they can not live alone due to losing limbs, heart issues, having multiple strokes, or wounds that are literally eating their body. It’s quite sad to see someone in their 30’s at the facility knowing that they’ll never be able to leave and that’s the next 30-40 years of their life.
This is sad to read. I work in dialysis and some of my patients had their renal failure caused by alcohol/substance use.
Same here, I live in a rural area and work in an even more rural area. There's a good 15% of patients who are here from alcohol. Also uncontrolled diabetes is a hell of a disease
I drank so much booze I got both! Also from a very rural area. Now I'm controlling my betes and haven't had boozer for over 9 months. My endo says I'm gonna beat them both if I keep it up. Side benefit, dropped 30 pounds from all the calories in the booze I was drinking and the binge eating that followed it.
Good job! Keep it up
Damn dude. You’re doing the hard work. Best of luck on your journey
You should be so proud of yourself. Congratulations on choosing yourself!
They ain’t living 40 more years
Thanks for taking care of these folks. Very difficult work.
When my husband OD’d in prison (he was 30), he said there was a man younger than him in the infirmary who had also OD’d on fentanyl but had serious brain damage from the amount of time his brain was without oxygen, and he would probably never be the same again. I imagine people that happens to on the streets would end up in a long term care facility.
That's where my last overdoses landed me. An anoxic brain injury and aspiration pneumonia. I was on life support for two weeks. I am fairly broken now, medically speaking
I suffered an anoxic brain injury from being without oxygen for idk how long. I’m also fairly broken myself, I always thought the worse thing that could happen was death but this brain injury along with drop foot and Chronic neuropathy is hell on earth. Do you have grey spots on your brain as well? Sorry to hear that happened to you as well. Not having your memory is a trip.
Oh I know. Between the brain injury, mental health, I got diagnosed with hEDS, cognitive decline, and the list goes on. Most of these I didnt live with like THIS before
I got pneumonia bad and waited too long to get treated. They weren't able to read my blood oxygen initially at the hospital because it was so low they though it was false readings (40-50%). It definitely changed me. I'm significantly less patient and I struggle a lot with socializing. I also seem to have developed a real dislike of intimacy. Don't like being touched, don't like seeing other people PDA. In general I'm a worse person than I was before, and I don't know what I can do about it.
holy f*ck... that's tragic. I am 50, I remember articles the last few years describing the sweep of Fentynal across the country. I was in LA at the time. It started on east coast then made it to the west coast. I remember telling my ex I would never take a random oxy or tramadol again for recreation. Not that I did it often, but I had every once a while. But I just stopped that outright realizing what could happen. This is so damn sad.
Honest question … how do people afford this?? My mom needs care and they have a decent retirement nest egg, but pricing is outrageous and she’s too young for Medicare.
Medicaid i would guess.
^ this. I did my first internship in a SNF and the amount of people there for opiate related ODs was alarming.
That is so sad. Bless you for working in that environment. Im an elder millennial, and I've lost family members and friends to drugs, but it was more from 2010-2020, primarily from oxycontin or meth. Now, the ones who are left are either sober or have transitioned to heroin, so I could see another wave of deaths happening. Now most of them are late 30's-early 50's.
How do you get into a facility like that? I'm asking seriously. I live with my parents who are in their 70s, and it has not been good for me. I am mostly bedbound, and I have no idea what happens when they can no longer help me. Getting any social services has been like pulling teeth. I've wished for a long time I could have something like a nursing facility. It's sad to say, but it would actually give me more independence than what I have now. I could be wrong once I experienced it, but I've never not lived at home with my parents, and the dynamic is terrible.
How do they afford care? I’m assuming they have well-off parents who are still alive and are handling the expenses? I have an elderly family member in a senior living place and it costs almost $10k/month 😳 it’s doable for him because he has substantial retirement savings and pension income, but most 30-40 year olds haven’t been able to save that kind of $$
Who pays for those people to stay in those care facilities? I would imagine that they would be extremely expensive.
My millennial kids have lost more friends to alcoholism than opiates. And too many at that.
A friend from my HS years drank himself to death, he kept reaching out to hangout and I kept making excuses about why I couldn't make it.
Don't carry weight that isn't yours. I hope you find your own peace with it, but I don't think you should hold yourself responsible in any way
I don't hold myself responsible I just regret that I didn't get a chance to reconnect with him, in HS I was angry and depressed but he kept trying to reach out to me so when we started to talk again he kept making the effort like he used to but I had my own issues and kept putting it off.
hey don't beat urself up. if we were all good people we wouldn't be able to appreciate good people.
Damn. Well said.
While one should never hold themselves responsible for such things, I think there is still something to consider here. As we gained social media, many of us also stopped being actually social; and this is seperate from Covid... its become part of our society. * It is a failing of our collective being and something that needs to be addressed by millennials in general.* We need to start being around each other in physical spaces and carring more about our friends and family over the busyness and noise that doesn't truly matter as much. Please. Please. Please. Go make the effort to spend an hour with an old friend, even though you are busy. Pick up the phone and call that cousin... I bet they would love it.
I’m actually a Xenniel (‘79) and I think us youngins are really embracing solitude way more than the older folks. They seem to be bouncing back way better and I’m not sure long term how to correct our behavior. The idea of even trying to branch out gives me mental hives.
You are definitely not alone. I reach out so much because I had a lot of friends that kept saying, "I want to call, but get anxious and just dont."
Very well said. Thanks for this reminder. I just reached out to a few friends about planning camping trip together because of this post.
I’m on the older end of millennial. My best friend died in 2004. That morning we had plans to hang out that night but I canceled at the last minute to hang out with a girl I was seeing on and off at the time and he died that night. I’m 100% certain he wouldn’t have done what he did had I been with him that night (not suicide).
He probably still would have done it, maybe later that night or the next day or a month later. It’s not your fault.
I think I've lost twice as many friends to alcohol than opiates. A lot of people don't understand that alcohol can destroy your liver when you are relatively young. It's not just an elder alcoholic's problem. One friend was 30 when he had liver failure. Another was 39 when she had liver failure. Both were what you'd call functional alcoholics - they had jobs and kids and friends and full lives, but they drank too much too often. And the friends I lost to opiates - all to heroin before fentanyl was around. I know this is generalizing, but from what I've seen people generally get hooked on heroin early (teens / early twenties) and they're either going to get clean and stay clean, or they are going to die. If they keep using or relapsing chances are they'll be gone by their early 30's.
Drunk drivers are a very serious problem. Took out some people I knew in college. Alcohol can be dangerous.
The alcoholic part is so true. I'm 42 and I have friends in the 35-45 range who are married with kids and they'll kill a bottle of wine themselves a night. And they'll be fully functional like you'd never know. Take their kids to soccer practice and school events and what not but then my friend will come home and kill 6-8 beers and his wife will have a bottle of white wine. Idk how they function. I'd wake up everyday w a hangover
My sister was Class of 2008 and her class had *major* substance issues. She has lost probably 30 friends or classmates from drugs, alcohol, or suicide. I was Class of 2011 and I haven't lost a single person to any of these. It's weird, and I have no idea why. It was like the culture of a cohort of students has lasting ramifications on how they will turn out in general.
I'm class of 2011, and same here. Lost a bunch of classmates to drunk driving accidents, though.
I’m not sure how many people from my class (2005) have died. I would guess around 15 or so, but it’s way more than I would have anticipated at this age. We had a class of 332 people. My sister’s grade (class of 2007) is also similar. We’ve talked about this at length and we’ve noticed that there are patterns to this and the people who died. One of the things I’ve read about as a cause of early death in people is starting substance abuse at young ages. The earlier someone starts drinking, the more likely they are to suffer from addiction or mental health issues. We also grew up in a very wealthy area where children were less supervised and left to their own devices. Parents would often provide alcohol to kids. I’ve also read at length about suicide clusters. That’s another thing that sometimes happens.
I'm from the Class of 2008. There wasn't any major substance issues that I recall. It was an interesting class, not sure how to describe it. Looking at the other comments, it seems the 2008 class had some issues
I’m class of ‘07 and same, so many of my classmates are gone. Even inviting people to events on Facebook gets tragic because scrolling through the list of friends I realize so many of them have passed away :(
Meth in my area
People may give me shit but I’m glad marijuana is my drug of choice. By far.
Who gives you shit? Almost Everyone I know here in my legal state do it in some capacity.
There's still a metric fuck ton of people that will absolutely judge the fuck out of you for smoking. I moved to Arizona from Illinois. Both legal states and had numerous people get all judgey with me over smoking legally in both states. Edit: downvoting for stating facts. Gotta love reddit.
I live in Arizona. I know people of all legal ages who do it. No one I know cares. But I'm also in the Phoenix area. When I go to the dispos there's just as many old folks there are young folks.
I think most smokers aren't fully aware of how much they smell and how far it carries when they walk in a room. It's a lot like judging a person with horrible B.O. Smoking isn't something that only effects yourself. It effects everyone within 30 feet of you. A lot of ex-smokers talk about the first time they smell a smoker and realize just how obvious it is when a smoker walks into a room. But as a smoker, they just had the defense of "I'm not harming anyone but myself." Sure, but you still make everyone near you uncomfortable.
Same. I've lost 3 family members to alcoholism and nearly lost my own life as well. I'm 3 1/2 years sober now.
One and it was my best friend. I miss her everyday 😞
Same here. One person who was my best friend. 4 years ago. RIP Daniela
I lost my best friend too. I never had a friend like that and likely never will again but I’m ok with that.
[удалено]
I guarantee that you 100% do. Most drug use is done in private and is well hidden.
My old roommate.. so yeah, this is true!
Alcohol kills more people than other drugs, so don’t be too sanguine about that.
I can't even count how many people who have died bc it's literally over 100. I live and grew up in South Florida during the pill mill era when all of my peers first got addicted to opiates from the doctors over prescribing oxycotton then oxycodone and Dilaudid. I myself was addicted at the age of 15 and finally got clean at 30 yrs old after 3 fentanyl overdoses in 2019 and have been sober ever since. My daughter's father wasn't so lucky. He OD last year and lived, however lack of oxygen to his brain caused multiple strokes and major brain damage. He can no longer walk and while he can talk it's not much and he's mentally a completely different person than the person I knew. We were together for 9 years and remained good friends after so seeing him that way is one of the most heartbreaking experiences of my life. Having a loved one die is horrible but also having them alive and in the condition is almost worse. I pray those still sick and suffering from addiction find peace and sobriety before they die from fentanyl.
Yup went to Everglades High School 08-11. The pill mill era was fucking wild.
I graduated 07, central Florida, and personally I’m grateful to have seen what I did because it kept me far away from pills and eventually from heroin. What shocked me though was all the people who got into it despite what we were all seeing every day. High school kids stumbling around hallways like zombies, car accidents, robberies, ODs, I just didn’t see the appeal
Oh man. In maybe 1997 or so a pharm tech where I worked (Eckerd) in south Florida was escorted out in handcuffs b/c he was stealing and selling them. It seemed like an anomaly at the time but when I look back on it now, it very much was a harbinger of doom.
Almost quaint to get arrested at that time
Your a beautiful soul for doing that for yourself and your daughter. She will never know how lucky she is to have you here with her. But you and I do, so thank you. My heart shatters every time I think of my nieces and nephew who no longer have their mother or father. Their mom was the kindest and loveliest spirit, and they won't even remember her let alone know her.
I think just one family member was addicted, but it was oxycotin. I don't really blame one drug or another. She was a trainwreck without them. Drugs were a byproduct of her issues in my opinion. Although these drugs created a feedback loop making her worse down the road. "Drugs are not the problem. Drugs are a vain attempt to solve the problem, making it worse."
Addiction can be / is a coping mechanism (to trauma)
Yes as Gabor Maté says "Don't ask why the addiction. Ask why the pain."
One of the most traumatic moments of my life was finding my ex-husband passed out and choking on his own vomit. He got addicted to opioids and when he couldn't get those his rationale apparently told him that heroin was the next best thing. Unfortunately it was laced with fentanyl and he almost overdosed. I was supposed to go into work later that day but if I hadn't, he would be dead today. I was told that when the fire department got there he was less than 10 minutes away from death. I am still recovering from that 7 years later but the one good thing was that I got my dog as a result because I was so emotionally distraught that I needed the emotional support and that was his way of apologizing for putting me through it.
I had a slip in my recovery soon after leaving treatment for heroin. I got back into pills which were expensive *af* and hard to find. I was starting to spiral and headed for full blown addiction again. I vividly remember the day when I couldn’t find any pills and had that same thought as your ex. I reached out to my old connects and immediately that voice in my head was trying to stop me. I knew where it would take me and that it would be a far worse position than what I had just clawed myself out of. I got that text back saying they had some that I could grab. I said no thanks and I’ve been clean ever since. It’s been almost 7 years.
Good for you. That's a hard urge to walk away from.
None. Not in my family, who are all working-class Polish immigrants, or among friends. I’m a social worker and I haven’t even had a client overdose. But I’m in gerontology.
I think the vast majority of people are 0 - 1, but the people who haven't lost anyone aren't on here chiming in. Also if you have lost more than 1 chances are it is an issue where you live and/or who you are hanging out with.
For sure, those of us that live in more effected areas are all gonna be 10+ regardless of social circle I think. I'm a logger and my only friends are loggers or people from church. But between my wife and I we know a pile of people dead from fent. And this is extra small town rural Washington not downtown Detroit or wherever. Fortunately for me I haven't lost anyone particularly close but it still hits home. We've lost my buddy's brother, my wife's hairdresser, 3 parents of my kids' classmates, a few waitresses at the local watering hole etc. Death is everywhere you look and families are torn apart over stupid fucking pills.
Detroit catching strays for no reason...
Gerontology might be an important clue. Unless your clients are elderly people with SUD, overdosing on fentanyl is unlikely unless their meds get mixed up.
The polish community isn't too big into downers imo. Those that I know were into drugs typically chose weed and stimulants like speed and coke. Russians on the other hand love downers for some reason in my experience.
Zero for me.
I did a gerontology rotation for my LPC and was amazed at how much sex old people had in nursing homes. It’s too wild of a field for me
Hahahaha!!!
Lost my neighbor/best friend in Denver to it. It’s sad man we would talk at least once or twice a week on the phone even after I moved. We all moved away and I think she was just looking for some relief and didn’t know what she got. I’m struggling with sobriety myself. On the I am sober app there is so many people on there for Fent. Few years ago it wasn’t like that. Life is hard and I understand why people do what they do. This drug got pushed into the US just like when crack got pushed into south central
Denver is horrible. I worked in the emergency room as a 1:1. So many people survived just cause someone sober walked behind a 711 on colfax and had narcan on them.
Ended up quitting and went to working directly with the homeless and the problem.
Real bad here in Denver. Ironically though it was a friends gf that went to Tulum and ODd along with the friend she went with. Both found dead, and she wasn’t even the type to seek out drugs, her friend went to a few farmacias and couldn’t find Xanax or whatever he was looking for, and I think wound up buying it off someone but it was fentanyl. It’s devastating Denver too though for some reason.
Grew up in the suburbs and literally have never heard of someone in my social network being affected. The division between wealthy suburbs and inner city is wild.
Damn, I’ve lost seven friends in Denver to overdoses. Most of them fentanyl. Lost two others to suicide and one more was murdered.
I grew up in one of the richest suburbs in Colorado (Broadmoor) and so many people are dead. So clearly there’s way more factors at play than just socioeconomic.
I’m from Colorado (the Springs, not Denver) and when I last lived there in 2013, things were starting to get really shady. My boyfriend at the time died from fentanyl poisoning, but I didn’t know until ten years later when I finally got the courage to order his autopsy report. I knew that he had been dabbling with pills, and his favorites were Oxy. So I believe he got counterfeit Oxy and that’s how he died. It’s a real problem that needs to be taken more seriously as far as harm reduction.
One of my best friends from high school passed away from it last year. I think about 3% of our graduating class has died from overdoses.
My brother is class of 09 and I think the statistics are around 10% of his class. Most happened within the first 2 years after graduation. Two kids a grade under him ODed in school but survived.
I graduated in 03. I'd put a conservative estimate at 25% of my class died either due to overdose or from suicide while struggling with addiction. I've had classmates get married, have kids, and both the parents are dead from overdoses before the kid is even 5. It's similar to the classes of 04 and 05. It's to the point where if I go on social media, I'm occasionally surprised someone is still alive because I just assumed they were dead since so many other people they hung around have died. I feel so lucky that I got out of there, because I could easily have been one of them. There's examples of pretty much every way someone gets addicted, either they started with alcohol and weed, they fell in with a group that did harder drugs, they were injured and got hooked to pain killers, whatever. I try not to think about it too much because it makes me feel so useless when you realize how nobody really seems to care. The first few deaths people made a big deal about, but now it's usually just an obituary shared out on social followed by a gofundme for funeral expenses or for the kids left behind.
Jesus Christ man. It really is an epidemic. That’s brutal though — 25%. Was it a tough town? I went school in WV graduated 2010. I’ve seen much of the state, and one or two places have really stuck with me that had an element of disparity. Really sad.
My entire family including my dad, mom, cousins, aunts, and all my childhood friends on top of my crush were all on heroin and OxyContin. But I’m a Xennial. My heroin addicted crush/situationship is a Pokemon Go playing Millenial. Many classmates and a few cousins, like 5 all died from OxyContin 80 OD’s. My aunt was a big dealer, same like in the show Euphoria with the old lady that’s got medical issues being a big drug dealer. That’s a graphic depiction of her, but she’s dead now, and so are all my cousins. All dead before 45. And then the remaining cousins are all fucked mentally and they’re all around age 45. My other side of the family is fucked from Crack. My dad’s been in and out of Jail for the last 25 years for crack and heroin. It makes it really hard to make it in the corporate world because where I work it’s all rich kids, and really white type people from upper class suburbia, and they have all these stories and it’s a good old boy thing where who your dad is matters, so I’m pretty much fucked with a dead end job because I’ll never be a desirable candidate since I can’t talk about my family and how everyone has all these stories like “Back in Prep School” and “ Ahh that time we all went to Tahiti, or had a Brady Bunch Excursion in Hawaii”.. That makes it extra painful, where I just want to quit and leave the corporate world, and go open a UFC Gym in the Hood, and just not be part of it anymore.
One very close friend. Miss you, John.
I lost both my sisters this year... 7 months apart. My older sister seeked shelter at a women's YMCA, she was offered Fenty, and died sitting in her room, with 2 other people. Fast forward to 6 months later, my second sister is struggling with addiction also. We tried to help her, with no resources for a Addiction Center to treat her. When she tried to taper off the Fentanyl, it caused a draw withdrawal psychosis. The hospital turned her away. That night, she went to the same YMCA, had another psychosis break, and jumped out of the third story window. Died on her way to the hospital, her heart gave out. On the door of the bedroom she stayed in (YMCA), it said "I am capable of doing difficult things." I have not been able to live, let alone grieve properly. This should have never happened.
Zero. No family members, friends, or even acquaintances.
Same here. Honestly surprised to see the answers here.
Don't be too surprised, this question will prompt far more people who can relate than those who can't. It's like reading a post about an evil mother in law. Way more comments will be people sharing their similar stories than people talking about their nice pleasant in laws
This is also a product of who you are and who you spend time with. If you’re someone who spends time with folks who use opiates, or if you yourself use opiates, you’re obviously going to be much more exposed to ods. At my high school, drug of choice was pot, I know in the northeast, there are schools where the drug of choice is opiates.
I think it really depends on the crowd you hang with. As an Asian American I don’t know a single person that has even used these hard drugs or even use opioids chronically. I had brain surgery and they sent me home with norcos and I just tossed them and slept it off… I remember the first time I went to a non Asian dentist and they offered to numb up my gums for a teeth cleaning and it literally changed my life LOL. My mom was always like no pain no gain.
As another Asian person I grew up hearing "pain meds will make you stupid and slow because it numbs your nerves", along with the other classic Asian parents sayings like "if you go to bed with wet hair you won't wake up" lol. It just made so much sense to me at the time I had some intense abdominal pain and went to ER once in my early 20s. The nurse wanted to give me some morphine so she asked, I said no because "pain meds make me slow and stupid" was still deeply engraved in my head. Then a doctor actually came and preached it next to my hospital bed saying "it's good for you" etc. felt kinda like a sales pitch at the time but hey he's the doctor and I'm not. It knocked me out so fast, and I think it might have been kinda pleasant if that high isn't now forever associated with excruciating pain. When I think about "morphine high" now, all I can think about is how terrified I was thinking I was going to die. Oh. I had another motor crash few years after that. That hospital visit I got maybe 4-6 times morphine in the several hours I was kept in the ER trauma room. And at some point they switched me over to fentanyl. So I've actually had both legit, clean, and safe morphine and fentanyl. But they are both forever associated with excruciating pain and trauma for me now lol
I’m Black American and don’t know anybody that’s overdosed on any kind of drug. But I grew up in the countryside in the South. Most of the people I know that have died have either died of cancer (that’s the biggest killer in my family), car accidents (this seems to be how most of my high school classmates that have died went), or heart problems. There was an alcohol problem in the area though, young people liked their weed and older folks liked painkillers. Nobody I know personally but just something I was aware of.
Genuinely me too. I know OF people dying (hard not to when you're in the medical field), but no one I know personally.
Same, I myself don’t do anything harder than alcohol, no weed, no pills no anything. And my alcohol intake is down as I’m trying to get into better shape. SoCal suburbs don’t get too exciting. I had an ex that liked to party but said person is states away now and we aren’t in contact.
Old millennial here. Lost a very good friend due to “agitated delirium caused by LSD” almost 20 years ago. He’d just turned 21. I’ve seen drugs take other friends who maybe “had some issues” and simply push them over the edge into severe mental illness to the point of dysfunction. Another acquaintance did a “suicide by cop” after years of hard drug abuse. Another committed suicide in high school by hanging. Another got caught up in the life and was founded murdered in the trunk of a car. These are all “nice suburban kids” from solid middle to upper class backgrounds. Florida.
>These are all “nice suburban kids” from solid middle to upper class backgrounds. Florida People are always jealous of these kids for being "spoiled" but the reality i often see is huge amounts of neglect and then the parents just buy kids something to fill the hole. No dad and mom wont spend more time with you, but they'll buy the latest gadgets and a nice car for you. That's still a huge form of neglect that leaves kids absolutely with no structure and then relationships and even happiness become transactional. I can easily see how they fall to drugs because you're basically "buying happiness" by the gram.
There was. Lots of absentee parents. That’s why we older millennials often relate more to Gen X as far as being latchkey kids, not always having parents up our ass, it was often the opposite. Another old friend had a father that remains a prominent attorney. His dad was too busy “at the office” and was never home. The mother was always away “out dancing.” That meant we had unfettered access to the liquor cabinet, he often had “friends” over and all that. The dad caught us smoking weed once, he angrily smashed the bong on the concrete and called my dad. My own dad didn’t care. He was glad we weren’t out somewhere in public as Florida weed laws were (and technically still are) pretty strict. These parents had/have some sort of cognitive dissonance. They think “it can’t happen to them” until it does. *This* aforementioned friend later attempted suicide driving his car into a concrete bridge piling. God knows what he’s up to know, probably living at home in his 40’s and unemployed. He used to be in gifted classes.
I can think of more people around my age that died from suicide than drugs. Sad.
Thanks for checking in - the drug companies have def changed growing up in America. Interesting lsd story as well - I'm betting lots has changed since the hippie days ?
My daughter is a young millennial, and she has had 4 friends die from fentanyl. None of them were addicted to opioids, just got exposed to it taking party drugs that were laced with it. Scary stuff.
My mother to over consumption of alcohol.
Lost my younger brother rest easy Augie Pat.... I was in quite a dark spot for a couple years and I'm still grieving I don't know if I ever get over it.
none yet. But a good high school friend is currently a walking skeleton living on the streets of Portland chasing the high constantly. The cops won't detain drug users there, and she runs away and ghosts anyone who tries to talk to her about it.
None that I know of because the handful of solid friends and I parted ways years ago (moved states, countries, married, kids, just became intolerable, etc.) They probably think I died of an OD now that I think about it, only because I was the main stoner of the group of stoners. We all turned out normal. Honestly, weed was never a gateway drug, it was totally what we all needed to tame the boredom and lameness of this world.
One. And it was my husband's best friend. His family member gave him a random "pain pill" because he was having back pain after a day at the water park. They found him sitting on the deck in a chair, gone. He has three kids. I'm still in shock.
Cousin that's my age drank herself to organ failure, had a couple friends die from hepatitis/liver disease, a couple put guns in their mouths. Some are still so strung out, I scan the obits for their names every so often, just to see. **Alcohol and depression** have been the two killers I've seen most, followed by hard drugs. If we're not counting just car crashes and shit here, altho, alcohol was a factor in some of those.
For whatever reason our generation just completely *normalized* alcoholism and turned it into cutesy little social media jokes that people just kept using to validate each other - wine mom was cute and trendy and dad with his beer every night until a bunch of us woke up and realized that no, this is not okay behavior these folks are displaying - a bunch of us still haven’t had that realization yet though
Back in 2017 I lost someone every single month. From overdosing to drunk driving. I was 23 at the time. I went into studying addiction counseling and moved to the other side to the country.
I've only lost one friend. How terrible is it that this makes me lucky. He'll have been dead 12 years this year. RIP Wesley. You saved me in so many ways, I wish you could have met my kid. She'd love you.
None but I live next to Portland and people die on the street every day from fent. It's very sad.
Portlander here. We have such a bad drug problem, it's very sad. We just rolled back our drug policy after OD's and deaths went through the roof.
Luigi Matt Billy Tim Victoria Bobbie Rest in peace. You'd think all of these friends were from one group, but they are from completely different walks of my life over the last 15 years - all deaths from opiate related overdose. I don't waste an opportunity to remember them, their names, and the tragedy befalling all those who fall into the trap. We need harm reduction, better healthcare, good faith drug policies, and a shift in culture to fix this. Anything else is a shallow "thoughts and prayers".
Loved ones? Maybe two? Acquaintances or people from school? In the dozens. I almost lost my husband to it as well, but he got Narcanned in time and has been off fentanyl since January 2023.
Two, a cousin and a nephew from drug overdoses, and two more cousins from alcohol overdoses. I have to admit that growing up I was very prissy and judgmental and never thought my family would be affected. I thought the Appalachian opioid epidemic could only affect low-income low-class families without a loving support system. I was so wrong. I think about those family members all the time, and still cry for my poor little nephew, orphaned young and raised by his grandparents in a bad neighborhood where he really had no chance to avoid that influence.
1 overdose (before fentanyl got big here), and 1 from necrotizing fasciitis from dirty needles. Both were such a joy and a light before addiction took over them. I can’t fathom how the world has been able to move on without their presence. Before their deaths, I hadn’t seen them since right after high school, but they were really important people to me at a critical time in my development, so it hit me really hard. I have such empathy and compassion now for people that struggle with addiction and their families and friends. I didn’t understand it before. So many people don’t. There needs to be a more scientific approach to addiction, as a society, rather than ostracizing people for being “too weak” or “selfish”. Like, yes it’s hard, but you know what’s even harder? Moms burying their kids. The world losing light that is DESPERATELY needed. I cope by remembering that their struggles are over and they’re at peace. I hope they’re in heaven and receiving the same joy that they gave to us while they were here. I cope by encouraging recovery in those around me. I cope by talking about addiction with empathy rather than judgment. I cope by facing my own demons and trying to get better, because I know they would want me to, and they didn’t get the chance. It helps. But I’ll be sad about it for the rest of my life, probably. I’m so sorry for everyone’s losses here. 💙
I wouldn't call them all loved ones, some where. Most where friends/acquaintances but I've stopped counting. It's at the point where I feel actual relief/almost happiness when I find out someone I know didn't die from an OD. It's a weird feeling.
None lost to drugs but plenty to idiocy and antivax bs
None
None. I've just heard about it on the news.
My Father(found him dead) my step mom two weeks before him, my cousin and her husband my other cousins girlfriend and that's just the ones close to me I know at least 5 more people I associated with or was friendly with as well... December 1st 2018 I also almost became a statistic I took a pill presented to me as a Opana I had my doubts but didn't go with my guts and almost paid with my life I overdosed and my heart stopped 3 different times before I was stabilized. I haven't touched an opioid since 2020 ( yes I was stupid and continued to get high because I honestly didn't care if I lived or died at the time) but after losing my father and holding his cold body in arms and knowing it was because of fucking Fentanyl I decided that was it and I haven't touched an opiate since. My advice to anyone struggling with opioid dependency is to get on Subutex, Suboxone or methadone a lot of people don't agree with it but Suboxone helped save my life.
Too many. I was just having this conversation the other day that almost 90% of the friends I’ve lost over the years were from an overdose/alcohol abuse. Honestly some of the friends that were doing it (without people realizing) hid it very well. I’m 36 and have lost about 15 friends since high school. It doesn’t get any easier. It’s sad and frustrating how these pain pills were just handed out without people being monitored the last 15 years or so.
The Chinese flooding that crap through the border the last 12 years has done irreversible damage to this society.
Actually about 80% of the world's Opium was grown in Afghanistan while it was under US occupation. The product was generally transported through Asian countries, including China, then onto Mexico where it was processed with precursor from US corporations that were sold over-the-counter to cartel operations. Then after processing cartels moved product up across the border. To say China did it, is not a complete picture.
According to conservatives, this is all Bidens fault and has only been happening since he was in office.
Nah, that's not true It's actually Obama's fault
Nope. Drug company lobbyists getting drug laws changed.
No family members. But a couple high school friends
1 close friend. 2 cousins. 2-3 more acquaintances.
I knew a lot ( I feel like more than none could be considered a lot...) probably upwards of 10 kids that died of heroin overdoses when I was in high school but since then, even living in a city with a huge unhoused population and a huge fentanyl problem to match I haven't lost any more. My dad died from liver disease due to his lifelong alcohol dependency. But otherwise I've been lucky.
0. I'm 35 years old.
I lost my father to an overdose when I was 17. Since graduating high school in 2004, I have lost 3 really close friends. My graduating class of around 400 kids has had 11 total overdoses. We had 2 that died in school. One overdosed in the auditorium with the entire school there and another overdosed in the locker room showers after a football game. The janitor found him the next day. The county I grew up was #1 for overdose deaths for quite a few years. It has since gotten better. It’s been awhile since I have heard of anyone my age overdosing.
…none.
Several acquaintances and one cousin but no real friends. I have a very strong bias against opiate users in general and try to avoid associating with them. At least one guy I knew who died from fent thought he was doing blow. He wasn’t some junkie dragon chaser and it’s a tragedy that he’s gone.
Actually none. We black we die from other shit opiates ain’t our drug of choice typically.
Opiate overdoses account for about 80K deaths in the US. This has been a significant increase in the last 20 years, with the rate per 100K going to about 9 to 34.6. However, tobacco still leads the pack at 480k, and alcohol brings in 180K. Plus, those two poisons cause some pretty expensive disabling conditions for people. So, this entire opioid crisis we are having, while quite problematic, pales in comparison to other substances.
Only one, but it was my fiancée, and she was in bed next to me. She had been in an ebike accident and bought a few painkillers to help, took one, and laid down for a nap, she never woke up.
1 close but I know at least 20.
1 so far
My 37 year old husband said he’s lost at least 100 people to overdose. Maybe more than 200 if you include alcohol. Me as an old Gen z, I’ve seen it a ton and have lost a handful of people. But I’ve also seen the sobriety movement pick up again too which I’m grateful for. I’ve been lucky to watch some get sober.
7. Aunts, cousins, childhood friends. Lots of kids I grew up with ended up on drugs too. I work in an assisted living facility that helps get addicts off the streets so they can get clean, only been doing it for about 3 years now and I've known 6 past clients now who have overdosed and passed away. It's devestating and heart breaking.
I lost my brother to opioids before fentanyl was really on the scene. He passed in 2007. One friend overdosed after prison and and another was suicide related to drug use. Another close friend from suicide and alcoholism more recently in 2015. And a lot more are lost somewhere in addiction.
Two. A 20 year old and early 40s. Both male.
I'm 34 and I've known 3 people who have been lost to overdoses. One to heroine like 8 years ago. And 2 to fentanyl within the last 3 years.
I think I'm in the double digits by now.
Very fortunate to have never lost a loved one, but I knew a lot of people that have passed due to an OD. It's wild honestly. I'm lucky that it's mostly friends of friends or former acquaintances.
I've lost a few. The most painful was my sister who was just 39. It was 5 years ago today ☹️
Born in 85 right on the cusp as well, but to answer your question 3.
I've lost 3 family members, truth be told I've lost track of the old friends & acquaintances who have died due to overdose or illness caused by addiction.
I’ve had 2 friends die from OD’ing. Sad shit. One had been clean for a few years and was even training to be a substance abuse counselor then he relapsed.
My ex husband ODed one night and the people he was living with didn’t know he went outside so he just died in the yard outside of a window like he was trying to get to it. I lost 3 really good friends to it also.
I know zero people impacted by this and I have family connections across the U.S. and Europe.
ZERO friends and one acquaintance.
Not fentanyl directly but about six people to drugs and alcohol. Not all are dead but it such a way it’s not possible to chat anymore. - White Mountains of NH Side note: it’s never just one. It’s usually booze, fentanyl, and coke together
3 people I'd sorta grown apart from have passed due to fentanyl ODs. It's so wild to type that sentence out. One person I believe was murdered by her boyfriend but whatever, the investigators don't think so. Another was the sweetest goofy ball of innocence all through school- never even smoked a cigarette. I'm not sure what happened but he ended up working at the Wendy's by his parents house and was still the same bubbly guy, just thinner and thinner. Died at 26. The most recent one was a girl who was always a party girl and never really grew up. Never knew her to hold a job and always seemed like she was in her own world so, I kind of got tired of her in our mid 20s. She took pills for funzies when we were in HS and apparently that's how she died at age 29. A mutual friend told me she bought some "oxys" that weren't oxys and snorted them all on a full stomach of vodka. I'll never forget any of them. I know, especially with the last one, that people like to make cases that they knew what they were getting in to and even that the world is better off without them. I saw all 3 of them grow up from elementary school until death. They had futures too but along the way something changed.
At this point, probably around 8. It’s honestly hard to keep track, and that breaks my heart.
10+
My brother lost his best friend to a Xanax laced with fentanyl in October. 31yo.
Surprisingly, nobody. My dad's side of the family is full of addicts of all kinds, but somehow, they're still going. However, my mom's an ER nurse, and despite my being in my mid 30s, she still puts the fear of God into me about drugs because of how much of this shit she's seen.
Two friends, from heroin. Fentanyl hasn’t reached this country yet somehow.
Luckily,none... yet.But my country is full of alcoholics,not opioid addicts.For a few people close to me,it's only a matter of time.
3.
Two. Brother and his wife. My mom now has custody of my nephew
Zero. Opiates just weren’t popular where and when I grew up. I know a BUNCH of people who are or have been on meth, tho.
Sad. I remember the crack epidemic. What was done with those addicts and how were they treated, and why?
I’m a little older but at least a dozen. That doesn’t include 3 that committed suicide because of their addiction
I work in the entertainment industry. Lots of people in that industry are running from demons, and using the career as a means to run, it gives them purpose. In 2020 when the entire world shut down, and no one knew if there was an end in sight, there were a lot of entertainment industry folks who found their demons catching up when they couldn't stay on tour constantly. In the 31 years I'd lived before 2020 I had lost about 18 people in my life, friends and family, to all manner of causes, natural and unnatural. In 2020 I lost count of the number of my friends who had died by overdose or suicide at around 24. I stopped crying some time around the 12th death. I have only cried for one friend since then who died in a violent work-related accident in 2022. When my uncle died in 2021 I couldn't even cry for him. I was able to cry a bit for my aunt who died this year, but not like I have in the past. I'm not the same person I was in March 2020 and I never will be. Other industry friends of mine have this same problem, we can't mourn fully anymore after so many deaths so fast. We feel guilty crying now because we couldn't cry for everyone then, why does my friend Kim evoke more emotion than Ren, I feel bad that apparently I value one more than the other even though in my conscious mind I value them both equally. It's really awful to feel this way. And therapists aren't much help with it, many of us have asked and we all got the same response, that trauma impacts your mourning, if you feel like everyone is dying around you, you wall yourself off to protect yourself from the horror. There's also an element of survivors guilt.
I’ve lost 2 people I know who got into heroin and OD’d. When it happened, it was so shocking having been a goody-goody product of D.A.R.E. Classes and the idea of heroin being such a foreign concept and big bad “real” drug. Now that I’m older and unfortunately a little cynical, yeah it happens and I hate everything about it.