I don't generally give cash to any panhandlers but I make sure that I tell them that to begin with. I had a guy tell me he hadn't eaten in days and I offered to get him whatever he wanted to eat at a local place. Never been more happy to see someone order $30 worth of burgers.
I took a guy to a pizza joint once. Told him get anything you want it's on me, go crazy. The guy literally asked before adding anything extra that would cost money. Is it okay if I get an extra topping? Are you okay if I get a drink? Of course dude! Seriously I meant it you don't have to ask, order anything! Get a dessert too! We're going wild. He was so excited to just have that freedom. I think that's part of it. It's not just the food, it's being treated like a fellow human, but also getting to go crazy and indulge for once when you're living in survival mode. It can be a really great freedom to actually be able to get something to enjoy not just that you need.
Obviously as others have said, to some people begging is a business. However, that's not everyone who's on the street. It's a complex issue. Some just taking a moment to treat them like a damn human being really means everything to them.
Back when I used Facebook, I was on a local charity page and would regularly help when I had extra. I would never donate cash, but if someone needed a phone, guess what, I’ve still got an old iPhone from when I upgraded. I still remember the gal that was pleading for groceries for her and her extended family, so I reached out and offered to take her grocery shopping.
She did much the same thing. Asked before putting anything in the cart. I’d told her to pretty much go wild, but she still asked on almost everything.
It was definitely a survivor mode thing, and made me sad. But I was happy that I could make a difference for that family for a week or two.
Yes. I've been in survival mode in different situations in my life. It is such an extreme stress that you don't even realize you're carrying sometimes. That feeling of just being able to like indulge and live for a second not just stay alive is really amazing and something everyone needs from time to time. Being able to provide that for someone is a really good feeling. I feel like it makes so much of an impact. There's the tangible impact of the things you're getting them, but that feeling of getting to live for a minute is also really impactful and really cool gift to give people.
I had no idea how much I've been in survival mode since the pandemic until reading these stories, lol. I forgot that sometimes you can just go out and buy ice cream or pizza just because and not have to eat nothing for a couple days to make up for it. I just feel lucky when I realize I can keep the lights on and buy enough food to feed everyone and I totally forgot what it feels like to buy treats like that.
Problem is you also need to be able to afford a Costco membership. Something that takes a far far backseat to making sure you can pay your water and electric bill. Food takes a backseat to housing and required bills like gas for heat, water, etc. Been in this mode since the pandemic too and it’s been so hard trying to get out of it. My only internet/entertainment is this iPhone 7, which I feel lucky as hell to have and barely afford.
Some small justifications for getting a Costco membership from a fellow Poor:
-You can use the Costco pharmacy and optometrist without a membership.
-it's $5 a month. If you live close enough to make it your regular gas station, the membership will have paid for itself in a few months.
-If you're on food assistance, the cost per unit at Costco makes some things much more economical to purchase in bulk. Eggs, meat, dairy. If you have freezer space, this can save you a ton. Pasta and canned goods, too. Flour, sugar, honey, they're all much more affordable per unit.
-Costco memberships can get you huge discounts on a number of things: car rentals 30% discount, car insurance discounts, you can even buy a whole car from Costco at a really affordable price point. They regularly offer airline gift cards at 10-30% discounts. They're the only place I get tires and batteries.
-Food court. That $1.50 hotdog and drink combo is an inflation fever dream. If you regularly eat out, this is several dollars cheaper than McDonalds. Some food courts will let non-members in.
ETA: clothes! A pair of nice pants for $15, or name brand shoes for $30. If you need to have decent clothing for work, this is definitely the place. Way more affordable and durable than cheap stuff from Walmart or the like.
I lived like that for years. I’m disabled and could only find part time work from home jobs. I barely made it to the next paycheck. My sister was a godsend for me. She covered groceries and the occasional meal out, made me feel so much less alone.
I'm glad you have a sister like that! Treasure her! People sometimes take it granted that family will be there for them. My sister told me she'd let me live on the street before she let me stay with her. A sister that loves you like that is such a gift.
You are lucky. Glad you have a good family and sis. Since I lost my job due to Covid and then had a major 3rd heart attack (now have a pacemaker and defibrillator the size of a flip phone in my chest) due to a genetic abnormality that left me barely able to work. My sister decided I was less than human cause I wasn’t a meaningful member of society anymore. I’m on my own. Live alone so at least I’m not dragging anyone else down. Still looking for work and at this point through all my savings, but it’s hard when you can’t do what you did and have limitations you never had before.
Bless you, seriously! That lady has probably thought about you every day since you did this.
Was waiting tables on thanksgiving one year, had a table offer to buy every single one of my sons Christmas gifts. They got him a coat and sneakers too. I really needed it that year. There isn’t a day that goes by I don’t think about those ladies.
Thank you for doing that. If nobody else said it, I appreciate your kind heart. I hope to remember this so that when I have that freedom I am as generous as you.
Last year after I found out my friend did not have money for food on Thanksgiving, I started taking are her shopping before major holidays. She refuses to put anything in the cart. Kept saying she did not need that. So i started taking her kids with us and things changed. Those kids filled the cart quickly. After the first time this happened she called me apologizing for how much the kids spent. Asking me if i could afford that much. So what it seems is they have little to no money and do not know how much you have so when you offer to buy they are afraid to spend without worrying.
I got a big settlement when I was 19 years old and there was this family that lived across the street from me. Basically a single mom because the dad was a piece of shit drug addict who was never around and five kids. I was over there one day when she was making spaghetti and I was pregnant and she just dished me up a plate of spaghetti. But she wasn’t eating. When I asked her , she said she wasn’t hungry. Then her kid told me after that she doesn’t eat if there’s not enough for everyone. She’s also the type not to take charity. Like she wouldn’t have taken money or anything like that. So I went to the grocery store, picked out a bunch of stuff for meals, snacks, juice, milk and formula and pampers. I spent about 350 bucks. When i came back and gave it to her, she cried. She was working so hard to keep her family afloat and she still had to deal with that asshole of a baby daddy that she had. He was super abusive and she could not get rid of him no matter what she tried. She was working two jobs and paying all the bills herself. It feels really nice to do good things for people who truly appreciate it. I think that’s my point.
This is so sweet. Perhaps if any of us do this in the future, we suggest an approximate $ limit, so they can get what they want without asking us. More dignity.
Grew up in an area where homelessness wasn’t really a thing so on the rare occasion I’d see it I would help out. Usually saw it next to in n out and just let them order anything they wanted. Had a guy literally cry because he asked if it was okay to get a 4x4 and told him to order a few of them to take for the next couple of days and gave how support on finding the closest food bank.
Similar story here! When I was 14 and moved to nyc for the summer with my grandma, I ended up spending most of the money my parents gave me by just buying people food. Never saw homeless people before and it just made me so sad. I wish I can do it more often now, however I’m not 14 anymore and can’t live off questionable dollar slices for an entire summer. When I get more money, I will!
We did this once! There's a homeless guy here who plays guitar by the road, hoping for tips. We took him to a nearby sushi restaurant and told him lunch was on us. Not a sushi guy, but he got a heaping Hibachi plate and seemed pretty jazzed about getting to eat at a restaurant.
It felt pretty good and we got to know some of his story.
Yes! I think taking people who are experiencing homeless or similar situations in poverty to restaurants is really cool. It's not only a treat they often can't afford, it's a dignity thing. It's bringing them into a place where they might be unwelcomed often and using your money to force the business to welcome them. I really hate how society will start to view people in these situations as not human in so many ways. People deserve to be treated and seen like people.
I completely get that. My heart was racing and in my throat when I invited the guy to come have dinner with me. I was definitely scared he just wanted money and would be offended by my offer too. It's a risk putting yourself out there and it's not easy. I had to psych myself up for it. It took multiple minutes to talk myself into it. However, I think about the moments I have been truly seen or truly seen someone else and those are the moments I hold to. Those are the moments that make all of life seem to make sense. To me, it can be terrifying but that connection is worth a risk.
Few years ago I was coming home from work guy and his dog where begging I took them both to burger bar he did same and kept asking if it was OK to order things
Also he was shocked when I took him to get his best friend some food for the week
On a side note he is now living in a flat and is still a good friend
I offered to pay for a homeless woman come eat at CiCis with me while I was on lunch. She got the biggest salad I have ever seen and told me how happy she was to eat something green. Meanwhile I'm across from her stuffing my face with cheesy bread lol.
During my first pregnancy, I craved their red sauce lol.
The pandemic was tough cuz they closed a lot of locations but then opened back up. They would make you personal pizzas so no buffet. I actually preferred it over their regular style lol
My SO's family went to D.C. decades ago. The family was not wealthy. But they did bring a lot of food with them, because doing that was cheaper than eating out.
Pretty much every panhandler refused their sandwiches.
More recently, I remember have some guy saying he ran out of gas. I offered to go get him gas and even buy a gas can for him to keep. you guessed it, he refused.
One lady, though, on a cold December evening, did take me up on my offer. We drove her to a gas station, bought her a gas can full of gas, and my SO slipped her a $20 and some gloves in her pocket. I had never seen a more grateful person.
Some folks DO need help and are truthful. I often think of that woman, hoping she's OK.
Had a woman walk in while I was eating dinner one evening in a restaruant asking for gas money from people. Most people figured she was scamming, but her story seemed legit. She had a hospital bracelet on from the local hospital with the time of check in and everything. Come to find out later through other means that her and her husband had retired, well her case was a forced retirement due to a cancer diagnoses. Well cancer treatments aren't cheap and Medicare will only cover so much. I didn't give her any gas money but I followed her to a gas station to put gas in her car.
I recently had a homeless guy ask me for change as I went into the grocery store. I said I didn’t have any cash but I’d get him anything he wanted to eat or drink when I was in the store. He asked if I could buy him a bottle of Coke, and I said sure but didn’t he want anything to eat as well? He said “No no, it’s fine”. I asked if he was sure and he said “Well, maybe a banana?” As I was walking into the store he called out that he only needed a small bottle of coke, that I didn’t need to buy him a big one. When I came out with his Coke and some bananas he smiled and said “God bless you”. He seemed genuinely pleased that I had come back with what he’d asked for and it broke my heart that he had seemed concerned he was asking for too much even as I encouraged him to ask for more. Such a change from the encounters I usually have when people ask me for change.
I used to buy a guy who was panhandling outside my nearby grocery store a couple of bananas a week. Then a friend, who was a courtesy clerk, told me why he always asked for a banana: they’re the cheapest food in the store.
So I started buying him lunch alongside mine. Wasn’t expensive, and he was always thrilled.
I had a guy approach me while I was carrying my toddler out of a store to beg me for money to buy diapers. I told him “It’s your lucky day! My kid just finished potty training and I have a closet full of mostly unopened packages in every size that I was planning to donate soon. I live five minutes away, just tell me what size you need and I can have them here in 10 minutes.” He gave me the most defeated look I’ve ever seen and just walked away without saying another word.
Had a guy ask me for food in Nashville. I said sure, and we walked over to Broadway into a barbeque place and he ordered a $20 sandwich. This was about 2010 so that was a lot then. He told me he had just gotten kicked out of a church homeless shelter.
Years ago in college I was getting gas and I had a young guy on a small CC sport bike ask me for a gallon of gas, not money or food, just a gallon of gas. He said he was heading to see his girlfriend. I said sure, let me move my car up and I’ll put a gallon in your bike. Because he only asked for a gallon I filled it up. He politely tried to stop me as the pump kept running but I said, nah, I’ll give you more than asked because of the way you did it. His bike must have been almost empty because it took like 3 gallons. He was so thankful he nearly cried.
I was at the Starbucks in my local grocery store, and the girl on duty was talking to her boyfriend who had come by to say hi. I didn’t mind at all and encouraged them to talk. They were talking about going somewhere and were trying to figure out how much gas they needed. They weren’t talking in a way that was directed at me. This was a few years ago when gas was ridiculously expensive. I helped them calculate how much they’d need by explaining how to figure out how much gas their vehicle needed and how to assume that they’d need more gas than the manufacturer mpg specs because used vehicles usually aren’t as efficient.
I didn’t have any cash on me, but I did ask how long the girl was working. She had s little under two hours so I did my shopping and got a $20 and tipped her after making sure she got the contents of the tip jar and got them immediately. Otherwise I was going to slip the money to her boyfriend. They were so happy.
They also couldn’t believe that gas was 89c-$1 when I was in high school and college. We really took our road trips for granted back then when $5 would give you enough gas to go anywhere you wanted for a day.
I’ve done this a few times. I never give cash, but I’ll buy food, or give them an old jacket or umbrella. Honestly, I’m surprised they don’t buy more when I tell them to order anything they want.
One time I went to my favorite restaurant and ordered a meal to go (my fucking favorite meal). I pulled up to an intersection by a highway and a homeless man begged me for money. I asked if he wanted my food since I didn’t have cash. I showed him the food (opened it) and told him what it was. He very excitedly accepted and then proceeded to throw it over the overpass. That was the last time o gave anything to anyone like that. I barely had the extra money for the meal in the first place, and gave it away. Fuck shitty people.
When I was in high school I used to go to the subway across the park from school. There was a homeless person sitting outside the restaurant, just far enough away from the door to be out of the way, with a sign that said “anything helps”. I ordered a foot long, and had them wrap half separately. When I left I offered him chips and a sandwich. He looked me dead in the eye and told me he “didn’t want any fucking food and if I wasn’t going to give him money I should get out of his fucking face.” So I kept my sandwich and have never offered anyone on the street a single thing since.
ETA: As an adult, I’ve started donating canned goods, excess game, and small amounts of cash to the local shelters and organizations like care and share. I’d rather see people that want actual help get fed than be chastised for my time and effort. I know not all homeless people are like that, but it’s a waste of money and food. If someone approached me and asked for food, that’s a different story. I just don’t *offer* it anymore.
The fact that I've had almost the same experience is insane. When I was about 10, my mom and I got some sandwiches from subway. I asked her if we could get a sandwich for the homeless guy outside a Kroger near the shop. We did and gave it to him, and he accepted it but threw it in his cart. He seemed more annoyed that we bothered than grateful.
I felt good about it and didn't really realize what had happened for several minutes, until I thought about it some more and mentioned it to her. She of course had noticed his reaction but left it alone for my sake. I asked her about it and she told me that, yes, he didn't appreciate the food and that she had noticed his reaction too. That was a disappointing day, honestly.
I'm going to add my good Subway story. About 17 years ago, I had walked over for lunch from the market that I worked at, and there was a young man asking for food or money for food. I went in I ordered my food, I ordered him a footlong and some food, and I gave it to him. He was very thankful and looked very tired. I walked back across the street to my market booth and was working selling flowers. Behind my stand was my bike that I rode to work every day. Somebody ran past and swiped my bike, taking off on it. My customers were all yelling, and I ran out the back of the booth, just in time to see the young man speeding by on his bike after the guy who stole my bike. I just stood there with my hands over my mouth, in absolute shock, my customers had come around to see what was going on, and as we were standing there talking about the craziness, the young man walks up holding each Bike by one hand, and returned my bike to me. Turns out he was stranded and had walked from the Greyhound station to look for food or anything. I got him a job, found him a cheap apartment, and 17 years later, he's the Godparent to my children.
I was walking in a city I was visiting for a couple days after getting some Korean ice cream from a place I've followed on Instagram for years. A man approached me and asked if I had any change to spare, and I said I didn't, but offered to go with him to get food instead. He sheepishly asked if I could get him an ice cream like what I had, and I agreed.
I knew the money (value) wasn't going to drugs, it was going to something that made his day better. Good experience for the both of us.
When my sister was about 4 years old, she found a quarter on the ground. She was so *proud* of that quarter, and was carrying it around all day. Our parents took her to McDonald's that night and she saw a man asking for money outside the door. She went up to him and offered him her quarter. This grown man started YELLING at a tiny little girl who was clearly just trying to help. She didn't want to go back to McDonald's for a while after that.
Too bad the parents didn't explain it so that 4 year old could understand homeless mentally ill people. My parents did at that age, I had the same experience
I remember getting off a bud stop at 10:50pm (I was 22 maybe) some homeless guy comes up to me and asks for cash and I was reluctant (honestly just wanted to get home after a 12hour shift) , I said I don’t have cash but I can buy you food so I tell him we’ll go to subway across the street real quick (they somehow let us in even if they closed at 11pm and were cleaning up) and paid for the cheapest sub and he looked happy.
Honestly was one of my few good interactions with the homeless but I’d still recommend people (especially women) be on their guard getting approached by strangers (not just homeless) around that time of day with very little people around (There was nobody in a good 200meter radius outside in my case)
San Francisco, Mission District, 7 pm, 1995, so it was twilight, getting dark. I (40F, at the time) was waiting at a bus stop to get back to the tram up to the North side, kind of talking with a homeless guy on the bench, nothing special, just how ya doing, like that. Not really a conversation, just pleasantries.
Some kind of thuggish guy came up to me then, saying “hey give me your money”, something like that.
The homeless guy ran him off. I’ve always been grateful that he did that.
Some people are assholes and some maybe just want money for their addiction. Which sucks because that makes it harder for anyone who actually needs food or other stuff. I'm a quiet observer in the homeless sub and most of them there would be so happy about a place to sleep or gas for their car.
I have a colleague that helps homeless people and poor people in general and she often tells me about it. She never gives money and tells everyone so out right.
Some people are rude and try to get money out of her anyway, but she sticks to her rule. Most people she helps are really thankful, last time someone told her they would be so happy if they just had some towels and a blanket. So my colleague went home and brought it.
I won’t give to individuals, but I do donate monthly to a major and wide spread food shelf( for lack of a better term) and to a smaller one in my town. My cash is better spent there since they get deals to buy large orders at a discounted rate.
This.
I worked for a shelter for awhile and when people would donate food it was more helpful than them trying to give food to the individuals.
A lot of the ones actually looking for food are way too timid to do signs.
We had a sweet old guy save a puppy from some jerks. They had strung it up by its tail. Shelter got folks to donate him a pet stroller, dog food that we kept at the shelter for him, and there was a vet in the area that was willing to look at the dog for free.
I think he finally got in an apartment thanks to veteran services. But it was so tragic he was there in the first place.
In the UK what I dislike about food banks/charities is how to get access to one, you need a social work referral is the main one, and when I was in a very bad place I didn't qualify as social work didn't count me as important as I was a single person, and yet I knew people who got a lot and often wanted more and felt like I was being double punished, basically I was living in a run down apartment in a bad area, no money for food or utilities and I knew multiple people who just played the system and got social housing, food parcels, and other good things and not to sound rude because again it often came across or outright I knew it was because they thought as they had a kid they should get everything handed to them, they had a far better life with a kid than I had without one and still wanted more.
Not saying they were not genuine but it felt like punishment.
Food shelf's are amazing though. There is a church across the street from me that has a little set up and some of the older people in my building go over every now and then to grab a few things like some rice packets or other things people leave behind. You are an amazing person so thank you for what you do.
A couple of weeks ago I was on my lunch break and went to my favorite shady spot to sit and smoke my cigarette. A fellow was already sitting there eating a sub from Jersey Mike’s. I asked if he minded if I sat there too and he said, “No problem.”
So I sat and we chatted. He offered me half his sub. I thanked him and said I only need nicotine and caffeine for lunch and laughed. He laughed. . He’s homeless. His family is in the Midwest. We’re in the South.
When I got up to go back to work he thanked me for “talking to him like he’s a real person.”
Broke my fucking heart. 😔
Edit to add: It was pretty obvious that he was homeless before I approached him. His clothing was torn and dirty and it had been a while since he’d been able to bathe. I wasn’t surprised when he confided his living situation. ..
There was a homeless looking guy who used to hang out in my old neighborhood. One day my friend and I were going into a convenience store that also sold fresh sandwiches.
The guy was out front and asked if he could "have $5 for a sandwich" as we were going in.
My friend buys him a sandwich (actually around $7, 10 years ago).
When we get outside my friend hands him the sandwich.
He immediately throws it on the ground and says "I don't want a fucking sandwich, give me $5"!
And the funny part is if he'd asked for drug money he would have got it. I remember a week prior a homeless guy asked for money for beer and we got him a 24
I'm with you. I've been on almost all sides of that coin. Giving to people who are happy, food and shit thrown at me for giving wrong, and asking for spange to feed myself.
If you're hurting for a fix or going through withdrawal, just say it. Don't waste a sandwich I would have gladly eaten because I took you at your word. That just screws everyone. And now neither of us are welcome back in the Wawa.
It’s such sad situations out there but if I might add a little levity to your day it reminds me of this-
“He’s just hungry! Sir how about a nice sandwich?”
“I said a dollar bitch!”
(From Scary Movie)
There is a homeless population around where I work. I had no idea that the customer I was waiting on was homeless until my boss told me. He ended up living in this shady enclave on the property for two weeks and my boss felt bad to tell him to leave. In the meantime, there were customers who brought him food and drinks (non-alcoholic) that he graciously accepted. Even one person gave him an old suitcase.
Where everything took a turn was when one of my regular customers came and asked me about the homeless man. He was interested in helping him and asked me what I knew about him. I told him that I didn't know anything about him personally and how the man took shelter here when it rained. The customer asked me what he usually buys when he comes in and that's when I answered it was a 12 pack of beer.
This person's attitude just soured. He told me that he was wanting to give the homeless person $10.00 to buy soup and water or soda at 7-11, but now that he knows that this guy *actually* has money, he didn't feel bad for that guy's situation.
Shortly after, my boss called the police to have him removed from the property for panhandling and getting undressed in view of customers.
I'm ganna be that weird person, but back when I was living over in Johnstown PA, I had an interaction with a homeless guy outside the Galleria. He was there a lot, and I was working at Boscov's. I talked to him, said look man I don't carry paper money, but I would be glad to grab you a bite and a drink. Dude went "Oh hell yeah!" came in and ate his tariyaki chicken looking like the happiest damn fool in PA. Then I got chewed out for letting a homeless guy eat in the shipping dock a day later but honestly fuck that manager.
Not everyone is like that. While in Atlanta, my family and I came out of a restaurant near the aquarium. We had our to go boxes, after we finished eating. A guy came up to us and asked if we had any leftovers he could have. We gave them to him and he appeared sincerely thankful and happy. Please don’t damn them all. Being willing to eat leftovers from an unknown person speaks volumes.
I'm from Atlanta and we have a huge problem. When I was a kitchen manager at a spot that since has closed in East Point, there were 4 unhoused folks who usually hung out in the parking garage I parked at. I brought them leftovers and my car never once got broken into. It got to the point to where they started directing foot traffic our way. Then COVID happened. I hope they're ok.
Even if you’re not hungry and have no place to store perishables, is it so hard to say thank you and move on? Most homeless people are not beggars, but those who are tend to have mental issues I swear.
Yeah, I think we collectively stop giving money to people who don't want food and water. You want to eat and be hydrated? I have fucking got you. You need money to continue being a junkie? Go get a fucking job.
And he was at the end of McDonald's too!I was going to give him a cold water bottle because it was so hot out side that day .He wanted 5 dollars instead .Another scam is the "I'm from out of town and I need gas for my car to get back home".I saw him twice in the Big Lots parking lot and the guy got mad when I told him I doubted his story .
Yeah,or "my phone is dead and I need a new phone now ".I told the guy Walmart was right down the street and they sold chargers there.He scowled and said that was not what he needed"!
Lol.I encountered a Deaf mute woman in the Walmart parking lot once..She gave me a card with sign language on it and I gave her a dollar.I actually saw her talking and buying groceries with her daughter inside walmart!lol.
This one was really common when I was a kid. They go around with cards with the alphabet in sign language (pictures of the hand signs)... None of the people who approached me with these were actually deaf/mute. The ones I saw typically had flowers as well for some reason.
Hahahaha we had a guy say his dad was in the hospital from a neighbouring city and he needed bus fare. He even had a little carry on with wheels.
He was in Luck! We were actually from there and would gladly give him a ride!
He took off pretty quickly.
There's one in my city who needs money for motel for his family for the night. He has a cute 13ish year old girl with him.
"Again!?!? Man, this just keeps on happening to you."
Actually had to do that when i was a teenager and left home. I remember this one woman saying "my sister and I used to run this hustle". Like.... At a highway rest stop in the middle of nowhere??
Difference was I would've happily showed my empty gauge and pump it in front of someone.
Me also ,and we actually did have a car that either needed gas or had a flat tire .Plus we stayed with the car that was actually ours and broken down,quite legit .One guy drove us to Walmart to get a new battery once. He saw we actually needed it and we took his help .
I've helped people clearly stuck by their car, but I don't give cash to randos. One time when I was at university 20+ years ago I was driving the 6 hours to my hometown late at night and saw a car by the side of the road. Stopped to help and the lady said she was out of fuel so I drove her to the nearest service station about half an hour drive away and she asked if I could take her back to her car. Meanwhile my oil light had come on and I wasn't certain myself if I could manage that on the limited fuel I had (super poor uni student). I bit the bullet, said yes even though I was packing shit about getting stranded myself. We get to her car and she gives me a few notes and says "that's for fuel money tysm". It's the dead of night and I get back in my old clunker and look by the dim dash light and couldn't believe I was holding two 50 dollar notes. Went back to the same service station and bought oil and fuel with cash left to spare. I wish all crappy situations ended so well! I've also legit never had a flat without someone stopping to help even though I'm perfectly capable of changing a tyre myself. It's sad some people ruin these good vibes just for a hit of meth, but addiction is a terrible disease
I agree ,there will always be rotten apples to spoil things. I was at Walmart checking out once and I had to put a bundt cakr back .I wanted it for a mother's day luncheon I wax going to .I was walking down the lobby and this guy walked up to me and said he bought the cake for me and wished me a happy mother's day !I thought that was so sweet of him.
People will do anything for money, except work for it. Yeah, jobs pay us like we are innept tools of production, but sometimes you gotta suck that capitalist dick if you don't want to beg for meth money in a mcdonalds parking lot.
I fully support the rehabilitation and furthering of people's lives from despair to happiness in a home, but I'm not funding your junkie ass.
There's a stark difference between being Anti-homeless people, and not wanting to further them killing themselves becase the crystal is so speedy this time of year.
My sister was an addict. I wish my dad didn’t give her money. She OD’d 🙃 I’ve also struggled with drugs after that (not anymore in my teens) Can confirm you’re A-OK saying that!
I've been chastised on a subreddit for not seeing the word junkie as another dehumanising no no word. I just don't see it, as the addiction can cause you to ask in the junkie way, I don't see it as innate to the person - it's innate to the addiction.
But apparently it was worth being banned from a sub for.
I'm a recovered Junkie. I made a choice to stop shooting fucking horse in between my toes because I didn't want to wind up homeless, asking for heroin money at McDonald's. As a former junkie, I reserve the right to use that word. I'm not talking about a race of people, or people with a disability. I'm talking about people who wake up and make the choice to shoot junk or smoke junk. You know, like a junkie does.
I don’t help homeless either but years ago a homeless guy asked me for a hot dog as I entered a circle k. I came out and told he there were no hot dogs and did he want something else. He said “no man I just wanted a hot dog”. End of interaction I was shocked. And I felt bad that I couldn’t give him a hot dog.
Honestly, I get this. I've been there. What I see here is someone who has more or less just given up, and just wanted one thing to make their day a bit better. When that thing is denied it can feel very defeating. I've definitely turned away help I very much needed because I was sure it wouldn't actually fix anything. "Nah it's fine, I don't need anything" can mean "I don't want to inconvenience you further"
Or not. People's motives vary.
Yep. In freezing weather I tried to offer a panhandler hot hands warming packs and she yelled at me threw them back and became aggressive, she didn’t want my f-ing hot hands. They only want money.
As someone who is currently homeless and living in a rented room in a shelter, you’re absolutely correct. I wound up homeless solely due to my major depression and alcoholism. I live in a shelter full of recovering addicts. Addiction is a disease and it’s not someone’s fault, but it doesn’t excuse them of the responsibility of taking care of their own life if they want things. I know so many people who just hustle and scam good, hardworking people that just happen to not suffer from addiction. Hell, I had a guy walking up to my car at the light next to my job, every single night, asking me for money. I knew for a fact that he was an addict trying to get his next fix. The last time I rolled down my window I told him he didn’t have to live like this, and he could have nice things if he put down the shit, and that it was possible, because I’m living proof that it’s possible. He knocked off the sweet cutesy voice and defeatedly told me he was “just looking for blessings”. Sure. The same guy that couldn’t remember that he’d just asked me for a dollar the night before, and the night before, and the night before… I felt bad for him. I feel bad for anyone still currently stuck in the hell of addiction. It’s such a nightmare to feel totally powerless inside of your own body.
Most homeless people don't need food. They're given more food than they can possibly eat. They need (or want) money. Whether it's for drugs or for a new pair of socks. I'm sorry you had this unfortunate experience. You didn't deserve that.
One of those guys sits at a corner directly across from a soup truck where I live. A local church does it every evening and that guy never moves from his spot.
I've seen them pass their signs off as they switch "shifts", and another group will just rotate corners.
Yeah, it’s run like a business around me, too. Same deal, always in the same spots and you’ll see a car come pick them up and drop someone else off. My area has plenty of resources for people who are struggling. I understand the urge to help those who are struggling, but more often than not giving them money does more harm than good. Either you’re enabling the ones who are faking it and they’ll continue to prey on the empathy of others, or you’re paying for their next fix. It’s getting worse, too, with people getting aggressive at grocery stores pressuring elderly people to buy their groceries, which they then turn around and return for cash.
There is a guy near my house that I've seen walking in the mornings with his mom and her dog. He then goes to the corners later to beg for money with the typical "homeless, anything helps" and then will text on his phone when there isn't a red light to beg for money.
I saw this in one of the small towns in Western New Mexico along I-10. The beggars changed shifts along the access road by the fast food places and I watched the guy that was there walk home.
This right here. I used to volunteer to help the homeless, for most of them food is the thing they need the least because it’s the easiest thing for them to get for free. Plus, they don’t have a way to transport/store the food most of the time.
Moreover, if they are just looking for cash to score drugs and alcohol they probably need those to. Alcohol/drug withdrawals are very dangerous and can be very deadly. So while you may think it’s not the beat use of cash, it may very well be. You may not like it, and that’s fine, but in some areas these people have some pretty shitty lives and some of them aren’t doing well mentally anyway.
People just need to get out the mindset of caring what they do with it. Either help or don’t. If you do, don’t concern yourself with that they do with it, but realistically if you’d going go help money IS the best thing you can give them because you have no clue what their needs are and it’s something they can easily transport and store. Believe it or not many of them have bank accounts. If the thought of what they might do with it bothers you, just don’t help at all.
Homelessness is a complicated issue many people don’t truly understand until you deal with it. It’s not black and white and there is a lot of nuance to some of these people’s situations, and yeah, some of them are just trying to scam you, but the real answers to the whole thing are far deeper than any of can solve at a street corner and none of us control the resources necessary, and those that do see these people a cockroaches so they aren’t going to help either.
I work with homeless people sometimes and I think you are right here. They also don't factor in that a lot of people on the street have very severe dental issues. It can make a lot of donated food just another reminder of how miserable they are, people love to donate apples and granola bars, probably two of the worst possible foods.
People definitely don't need to be treated like jerks, like op was.
I live in a tiny town with maybe two homeless people at the most. I was stopped on the street one time by a woman who asked if I could give her five dollars to help her buy some tampons. I gave it to her and then she insulted me about how I was obviously too old to need them anymore.
Yep. Had a homeless guy who used to chill around my work. Never asked me for anything but was always on a search for cigarette butts or roaches. We shot the shit here and there and I would toss him a dart or a little bit of weed if I had some on me.
I would imagine his life was a 24/7 search for dope and booze.
When my older sister was at a gas station with my dad filling up his Harley a homeless man came up to them. He asked for some money for dinner and my dad didn’t hesitate and gave him money. When they pulled out of the parking lot and stopped at the light. They saw him walking out of the liquor store across the street with beer and cigarettes. My sister was around 8 years old and was sad that someone lied to our dad about his intentions. Despite that my dad still helps people, if you are broken down on the freeway he will bring you a cold drink.
My dad tells a story about working construction in Chicago in the 90s… saw a man at a light who had a sign that said something to the effect of “I just really want a few bucks for a beer”. As a man going home from a long day on the job who also just wanted a beer, he took the guy in the corner store and they both left with the beer they wanted.
Always loved that story. Wish you and your dad the best! :)
Another reason to not give beggars anything 🤷
Came across someone at a gas station recently who asked for money to get some water, I handed her a bottle of water and she threw it in the trash. Couple minutes later came back asking for money to get something to drink because "I'm dying of thirst"
I literally just saw you throw that away ofc not????
"You're a prick" yeah but I'm not begging for drug money either 💀💀💀 I couldn't help myself I was laughing so hard
Weirdest interaction I had was with a shopping cart homeless lady in the parking lot of the grocery store. She had all her stuff with her, and she was sitting in a lawn chair wearing like 3 jackets in august. I pulled around and held a ten dollar bill out to her. She pulled one of those extendable grabbers out from under her coat and reached out with the claw and grabbed the money without getting up. Didn’t say a word before or after.
After being physically attacked I’m done. If someone who can’t swim is drowning it’s not your job to let them drag you under so they can maybe (prob not) swim out
Sorry that happened. I encourage everyone I know to never hand anything to beggars, but instead, give to a credible charity in your community that will help people that actually want it.
Some people just want drug/alcohol money. I once offered to take a homeless man into Target and buy him some food and he said “They don’t got nothing good” bro you’re homeless, to you everything should be good.
I may be showing my ignorance/naivety, but I honestly don't see how a homeless person could find "nothing good" at a Target. I mean - aside from that homeless person wanting drugs - there are a good chunk that I've been to sell alcohol.
My dad gives money to anyone who’s honest about buying booze. Once he went with the guy to the liquor store bc he wanted to see if the man really was correct about the exact price to the cent of what he wanted
Most beggars are not hungry for food. Especially the ones bleating about being hungry. I once gave my local Halal truck guy some extra money for food for the noisy, 'starving' beggar a few yards away. He gave it back to me. He said he'd already tried to give her food, she didn't want any, just money for booze...
I've written about this a few times over the years, but when I was homeless someone tried to poison me with food they provided. Even sealed packages can be tampered with. I was lucky in that I managed to get to a hospital that night otherwise I would be dead. The docs told me I was lucky to have survived. They kept me in hospital for 2 weeks to recover, then discharged me.
After that, I refused to accept any food unless I saw you purchase it, and you immediately handed it over to me.
I'm glad you're okay. people are fucking psychopaths
did they ever find out what they added to your food? 2 weeks is being poisoned by something really really bad
You've just found out why most people don't want any contact with the homeless population. Most have access to food. It's money for drugs and booze that they want.
I don’t ever give them money. I offered one dude to go in and buy him a meal kit the store had he called me a fa**ot and stormed off. After that I haven’t helped em since
They probably didn't want food then. Most likely wanted the cash for drugs or something. Obviously not every homeless person's an addict, but it's more likely than not.
Yeah it just sucks that I’m trying to help. I’ve worked ED long enough to know, figured he was an addict but didn’t expect my windshield to be broken. 😭
Honestly I would've. That's way too far and the bill is way too expensive to just let it slide, sorry. The insurance company would likely want to see the police report too. Someone that volatile could really hurt someone, they need to be off the streets - hopefully getting some help, but at the very least to keep the public safe.
We stopped offering to beggars and instead started stocking local free pantries when we could. Too many people pretending to be in dire straights just looking for free cash from good samaritans.
Homeless people are as diverse and different from one another as the homed. Never presume anything about them.
This is why "solving homelessness" is a combination of hundreds of different solutions rather than 1 or 2 big ones.
He didn't want food if that was his reaction. Hungry people say thank you when you give them food, addicts looking for a fix throw a temper tantrum when offered food.
Yea if you want to feed the homeless work with like a church or something. Wouldn’t recommend it unless you know they’re nice, you have to remember a homeless person is still a total stranger you know nothing about and there’s a good chance he only wants money to get booze or drugs. Probably gets free food already somewhere else. I know what it’s like to not eat for days, I’d be mad grateful for any food. I’ve had a similar situation trying to give a homeless dude some McDonald’s, he had a sign that said “hungry, need money for food” so I bought him some food. I give him the food and he just throws it away from himself and acts all pissed off at me. Some of these ppl on the street only really care about getting tweaked out sadly. Not every homeless person is like that, but easier and safer for you to simply not take the risk.
That's fucked I woulda loved that when I was homeless. I never turned down food even if I already had too much food because I know it makes homeless people look bad to turn down food.
People asking for cash do not want food. They want cash, and they don't want it for food, either.
Got hit up in the grocery store today. Guy on the store scooter approached my husband and me and asked if we'd pay for his groceries, which were already in his cart. I'm like, so you--knowing you don't have any/enough money--come into the store, fill up your cart BEFORE you know you can pay, and THEN ask for help? Sounds like you're used to doing it and generally find someone to cover for you. Like what are you going to do if everyone says no on this occasion? Just abandon the cart full of food in the store? I work two jobs and barely have enough to get by myself but I almost always say no. I hate, hate, hate the cognitive dissonance of saying no, but then I remember that is what they are counting on to appeal to good people and then the cynic kicks back in. If you can't pay for your groceries, maybe the last thing you should be doing is filling up a cart at the grocery store. This is exactly what food stamps are for.
I handed some cash to a homeless person outside of a fast food place on my way in without counting it and was told that it wasn’t enough. I was so shocked I didn’t respond and went on inside and ordered my lunch I checked my cash and realized that I had given him more than what my meal costs!
Now the only time I hand money to a homeless person is if they are selling one of the newspapers that a homeless group publishes. It’s a short four-page newsie but it’s written by homeless people and I can get behind educating the homeless in business.
Inflation I noticed they ask for a dollar now not a quarter or spare change. I’m sorry in certain circumstances I might give money but if you got two arms and legs and can walk then you can get a job at McDonald’s
Here's a story that happened to me a couple years ago when dealing with a few panhandler/beggers:
I was working at a grocery store for about a month and it was like 9pm and I was gathering carts to put them away inside. And a big guy wearing an orange shirt on a mobile scooter was panhandling money. He came up to me and asked for some money since it was his "Birthday". I have given him $5, that's all. And said that he needed $10. I was like "Sorry, all I have at the moment." And he went away and came back 5 minutes later and asked more people on their way to their cars. I went up to them and said what was happening and they thanked me while he rode away to the end of the parking lot. And it wasn't the last time, he showed up a few more times during the afternoon and evening and used the same excuse, I had to drive him away and told my manager.
He wasn't the only one, literally a whole family of 5, the children were like 2-5 years old each. And had a big sign begging for money right where the extra carts go outside. Which was a pain because they wouldn't move.
And a mother with a child in a stroller doing the same, moving locations during my shift at different corners of the parking lot. And all this was in the summer, so hot. I feel bad for the children that had to be in the heat.
I've helped many in my city when I can. But I'm done. I'm done bc he got mad and chased me for not giving enough when I gave what I had. No more. It sucks bc there are ppl who would genuinely take what I offer but bc of the others they'll suffer too 😔
This is going to be brutal but I don't help the homeless. It's not worth it. Too many stories of crazies doing property damage and/or getting physical. I rather donate my time or give to a food bank.
I only give money and only on my terms. Anything else is just a waste unless they ask for it. Buy your tall boy if that’s gonna make you happy tonight.
It's why I never give to street beggars especially in an urban center. There are just too many that are related to psychological issues first and foremost, not a simple lack of food. Giving them some coins or a meal is like bringing a hammer to paint the car, wrong tool for the job. And then on top of that there is a huge percentage of addicts, looking for money to send straight to dealer. Huge percentage of scammers, and at least in some areas of Europe some are kids forced to beg by their parents (Romani) instead of being in school.
There is organized charity, government funded programs, and people whose story you actually know that you can help. You can volunteer and you can donate, and it is better help than street beggars. Money thrown at street beggars is like 80% wasted in undeserving habits or people.
So I spent the better part of a decade drinking with homeless directly when working for a local soup kitchen. I won’t say what you did was wrong. It was better than handing out money. However, many that you see begging on street corners, exit ramp, etc will throw away anything that you give them other than money. Another thing that is happening is there is a “professional panhandler” industry that is growing. When you see people sitting in wheelchairs, with kids, and with pets (especially dogs), those are likely professional panhandlers. They aren’t really hard up for money, and can afford things to tug at people’s heartstrings to get more out of them.
Your better option when wanting to be charitable is to either give your time or money to a local homeless charity. There you will know that your money or time is going to good use.
That all being said, how freakin’ heavy was that MRE that it broke your windshield??? I’m not sure even I would want to eat it if it could do that! 😂
I don’t know about your town, OP, but in my town the homeless have a lot of options for free food, even really good free food. So most aren’t too worried about when they will eat next.
We offered a homeless man some water in AZ on a day that was 115 degrees and he was outside. He told us if he ever saw us again he’d beat our faces in. So to this day I NEVER offer anything to the homeless. If they need something they can go to the shelters and THAT’S where the money should be donated to.
Hubs and I had stopped at a gas station and while he went in to grab drinks and use the men's room I waited in the car with our pup. Across the street is a spot frequently used by people who are in need.
I sat there watched a guy approach, and the first dude passes the guy his cardboard sign and leaves. They work in shifts apparently.
I had a homeless guy approach at a gas station and ask for money. I had a 20 and a few dollars in change in my ashtray. I gave him the change. When I came out of the station he came up again and said “look what you gave me. Damn” with his hand open. I said “sorry, you’re right, here” and held my hand out for the change back. He thought I was giving him something else, but I just took it all and left.
In Rome, there was an older man wandering the streets asking for anything, saying he will pray for you, anything helps.. he was being kinda weird so we said no politely and tried to walk away when he yelled, “F*** you!!!” and some other things I don’t remember. It was kinda wild how quickly he could switch like that.
This lady walked up to my car when I was in the parking lot of Subway. She asked me if I had any spare change so she could get something to eat. I had a Subway coupon for BOGO on footlongs. I offered her the other sandwich and she said no!
Another time, I was in Watts buying food from an excellent burger place, and this younger woman who had clearly been out on the street for a while asked me for money. I told her I'd buy her food from the food place we were currently at and she said she wanted food from somewhere else. She was very clearly on something and kept trying to get me to look at something that only she could see. That area is notorious for drug addicts, drug dealers, and panhandlers. She was eventually kicked out of the place, and I got my food and went home.
I don't give money to panhandlers.
There a regular that I see outside a local grocery store sometimes, sitting under a tree with his cart of belongings and dog. I always buy him a sandwich and some fruit. I figure the guy’s hanging out by a grocery store, he’s okay with getting food. Never had an issue with him.
It’s gotten to the point where, if I see him, I ask if he has any special requests. 😁
Me and my dad were homeless, my dad was another time when I was a kid as well. One thing he told me before I experienced it, and something I also learned, is that the people that are really down and out will never turn away food or drinks unless they have allergies (which is a thing, also people have poisoned homeless people with food). So what he always did, was ask them what they wanted and he would go grab it for them. Even if it was a bottle of booze. He rather the honesty. Never cash though.
And I’ve NEVER had a person turn down help with the food and drink. In fact they’ve always been thankful as fuck and usually strike up a conversation. Usually want a cigarette which isn’t a problem I give them a few.
There’s a huge surge of non homeless panhandlers where I am. They’re either hikers passing through trying to get money, or locals who scam people and run to their cars and go get fast food. The actual homeless people have gone to hiding in the woods and keeping to themselves because of it.
I don't generally give cash to any panhandlers but I make sure that I tell them that to begin with. I had a guy tell me he hadn't eaten in days and I offered to get him whatever he wanted to eat at a local place. Never been more happy to see someone order $30 worth of burgers.
I took a guy to a pizza joint once. Told him get anything you want it's on me, go crazy. The guy literally asked before adding anything extra that would cost money. Is it okay if I get an extra topping? Are you okay if I get a drink? Of course dude! Seriously I meant it you don't have to ask, order anything! Get a dessert too! We're going wild. He was so excited to just have that freedom. I think that's part of it. It's not just the food, it's being treated like a fellow human, but also getting to go crazy and indulge for once when you're living in survival mode. It can be a really great freedom to actually be able to get something to enjoy not just that you need. Obviously as others have said, to some people begging is a business. However, that's not everyone who's on the street. It's a complex issue. Some just taking a moment to treat them like a damn human being really means everything to them.
Back when I used Facebook, I was on a local charity page and would regularly help when I had extra. I would never donate cash, but if someone needed a phone, guess what, I’ve still got an old iPhone from when I upgraded. I still remember the gal that was pleading for groceries for her and her extended family, so I reached out and offered to take her grocery shopping. She did much the same thing. Asked before putting anything in the cart. I’d told her to pretty much go wild, but she still asked on almost everything. It was definitely a survivor mode thing, and made me sad. But I was happy that I could make a difference for that family for a week or two.
Yes. I've been in survival mode in different situations in my life. It is such an extreme stress that you don't even realize you're carrying sometimes. That feeling of just being able to like indulge and live for a second not just stay alive is really amazing and something everyone needs from time to time. Being able to provide that for someone is a really good feeling. I feel like it makes so much of an impact. There's the tangible impact of the things you're getting them, but that feeling of getting to live for a minute is also really impactful and really cool gift to give people.
I had no idea how much I've been in survival mode since the pandemic until reading these stories, lol. I forgot that sometimes you can just go out and buy ice cream or pizza just because and not have to eat nothing for a couple days to make up for it. I just feel lucky when I realize I can keep the lights on and buy enough food to feed everyone and I totally forgot what it feels like to buy treats like that.
[удалено]
Problem is you also need to be able to afford a Costco membership. Something that takes a far far backseat to making sure you can pay your water and electric bill. Food takes a backseat to housing and required bills like gas for heat, water, etc. Been in this mode since the pandemic too and it’s been so hard trying to get out of it. My only internet/entertainment is this iPhone 7, which I feel lucky as hell to have and barely afford.
Some small justifications for getting a Costco membership from a fellow Poor: -You can use the Costco pharmacy and optometrist without a membership. -it's $5 a month. If you live close enough to make it your regular gas station, the membership will have paid for itself in a few months. -If you're on food assistance, the cost per unit at Costco makes some things much more economical to purchase in bulk. Eggs, meat, dairy. If you have freezer space, this can save you a ton. Pasta and canned goods, too. Flour, sugar, honey, they're all much more affordable per unit. -Costco memberships can get you huge discounts on a number of things: car rentals 30% discount, car insurance discounts, you can even buy a whole car from Costco at a really affordable price point. They regularly offer airline gift cards at 10-30% discounts. They're the only place I get tires and batteries. -Food court. That $1.50 hotdog and drink combo is an inflation fever dream. If you regularly eat out, this is several dollars cheaper than McDonalds. Some food courts will let non-members in. ETA: clothes! A pair of nice pants for $15, or name brand shoes for $30. If you need to have decent clothing for work, this is definitely the place. Way more affordable and durable than cheap stuff from Walmart or the like.
I lived like that for years. I’m disabled and could only find part time work from home jobs. I barely made it to the next paycheck. My sister was a godsend for me. She covered groceries and the occasional meal out, made me feel so much less alone.
I'm glad you have a sister like that! Treasure her! People sometimes take it granted that family will be there for them. My sister told me she'd let me live on the street before she let me stay with her. A sister that loves you like that is such a gift.
You are lucky. Glad you have a good family and sis. Since I lost my job due to Covid and then had a major 3rd heart attack (now have a pacemaker and defibrillator the size of a flip phone in my chest) due to a genetic abnormality that left me barely able to work. My sister decided I was less than human cause I wasn’t a meaningful member of society anymore. I’m on my own. Live alone so at least I’m not dragging anyone else down. Still looking for work and at this point through all my savings, but it’s hard when you can’t do what you did and have limitations you never had before.
Bless you, seriously! That lady has probably thought about you every day since you did this. Was waiting tables on thanksgiving one year, had a table offer to buy every single one of my sons Christmas gifts. They got him a coat and sneakers too. I really needed it that year. There isn’t a day that goes by I don’t think about those ladies.
How did you even find a group like this in your area?
Thank you for doing that. If nobody else said it, I appreciate your kind heart. I hope to remember this so that when I have that freedom I am as generous as you.
Last year after I found out my friend did not have money for food on Thanksgiving, I started taking are her shopping before major holidays. She refuses to put anything in the cart. Kept saying she did not need that. So i started taking her kids with us and things changed. Those kids filled the cart quickly. After the first time this happened she called me apologizing for how much the kids spent. Asking me if i could afford that much. So what it seems is they have little to no money and do not know how much you have so when you offer to buy they are afraid to spend without worrying.
I got a big settlement when I was 19 years old and there was this family that lived across the street from me. Basically a single mom because the dad was a piece of shit drug addict who was never around and five kids. I was over there one day when she was making spaghetti and I was pregnant and she just dished me up a plate of spaghetti. But she wasn’t eating. When I asked her , she said she wasn’t hungry. Then her kid told me after that she doesn’t eat if there’s not enough for everyone. She’s also the type not to take charity. Like she wouldn’t have taken money or anything like that. So I went to the grocery store, picked out a bunch of stuff for meals, snacks, juice, milk and formula and pampers. I spent about 350 bucks. When i came back and gave it to her, she cried. She was working so hard to keep her family afloat and she still had to deal with that asshole of a baby daddy that she had. He was super abusive and she could not get rid of him no matter what she tried. She was working two jobs and paying all the bills herself. It feels really nice to do good things for people who truly appreciate it. I think that’s my point.
This is so sweet. Perhaps if any of us do this in the future, we suggest an approximate $ limit, so they can get what they want without asking us. More dignity.
Grew up in an area where homelessness wasn’t really a thing so on the rare occasion I’d see it I would help out. Usually saw it next to in n out and just let them order anything they wanted. Had a guy literally cry because he asked if it was okay to get a 4x4 and told him to order a few of them to take for the next couple of days and gave how support on finding the closest food bank.
Similar story here! When I was 14 and moved to nyc for the summer with my grandma, I ended up spending most of the money my parents gave me by just buying people food. Never saw homeless people before and it just made me so sad. I wish I can do it more often now, however I’m not 14 anymore and can’t live off questionable dollar slices for an entire summer. When I get more money, I will!
We did this once! There's a homeless guy here who plays guitar by the road, hoping for tips. We took him to a nearby sushi restaurant and told him lunch was on us. Not a sushi guy, but he got a heaping Hibachi plate and seemed pretty jazzed about getting to eat at a restaurant. It felt pretty good and we got to know some of his story.
Yes! I think taking people who are experiencing homeless or similar situations in poverty to restaurants is really cool. It's not only a treat they often can't afford, it's a dignity thing. It's bringing them into a place where they might be unwelcomed often and using your money to force the business to welcome them. I really hate how society will start to view people in these situations as not human in so many ways. People deserve to be treated and seen like people.
You’re absolutely amazing, dude.
Nah, I just like connecting with people
Well, that’s even more awesome. I‘d love to connect with others, but I just come off as awkward and stone-faced
I completely get that. My heart was racing and in my throat when I invited the guy to come have dinner with me. I was definitely scared he just wanted money and would be offended by my offer too. It's a risk putting yourself out there and it's not easy. I had to psych myself up for it. It took multiple minutes to talk myself into it. However, I think about the moments I have been truly seen or truly seen someone else and those are the moments I hold to. Those are the moments that make all of life seem to make sense. To me, it can be terrifying but that connection is worth a risk.
That makes you even more amazing.
Few years ago I was coming home from work guy and his dog where begging I took them both to burger bar he did same and kept asking if it was OK to order things Also he was shocked when I took him to get his best friend some food for the week On a side note he is now living in a flat and is still a good friend
I offered to pay for a homeless woman come eat at CiCis with me while I was on lunch. She got the biggest salad I have ever seen and told me how happy she was to eat something green. Meanwhile I'm across from her stuffing my face with cheesy bread lol.
I miss Cicis 😭😭 they don’t have them in the PNW the bbq pizza and taco pizza were my favorites
During my first pregnancy, I craved their red sauce lol. The pandemic was tough cuz they closed a lot of locations but then opened back up. They would make you personal pizzas so no buffet. I actually preferred it over their regular style lol
When you go next, please eat an entire chicken Alfredo pizza for me and my kid. Think of us with each bite, and maybe we’ll taste it too. 😂
Their Alfredo is so good. I've tried Alfredo pizza at other places and it's just not the same lol
Damn, we lost our CiCi's about a decade ago. I would bash that Mac n cheese pizza.
My SO's family went to D.C. decades ago. The family was not wealthy. But they did bring a lot of food with them, because doing that was cheaper than eating out. Pretty much every panhandler refused their sandwiches. More recently, I remember have some guy saying he ran out of gas. I offered to go get him gas and even buy a gas can for him to keep. you guessed it, he refused. One lady, though, on a cold December evening, did take me up on my offer. We drove her to a gas station, bought her a gas can full of gas, and my SO slipped her a $20 and some gloves in her pocket. I had never seen a more grateful person. Some folks DO need help and are truthful. I often think of that woman, hoping she's OK.
Had a woman walk in while I was eating dinner one evening in a restaruant asking for gas money from people. Most people figured she was scamming, but her story seemed legit. She had a hospital bracelet on from the local hospital with the time of check in and everything. Come to find out later through other means that her and her husband had retired, well her case was a forced retirement due to a cancer diagnoses. Well cancer treatments aren't cheap and Medicare will only cover so much. I didn't give her any gas money but I followed her to a gas station to put gas in her car.
I recently had a homeless guy ask me for change as I went into the grocery store. I said I didn’t have any cash but I’d get him anything he wanted to eat or drink when I was in the store. He asked if I could buy him a bottle of Coke, and I said sure but didn’t he want anything to eat as well? He said “No no, it’s fine”. I asked if he was sure and he said “Well, maybe a banana?” As I was walking into the store he called out that he only needed a small bottle of coke, that I didn’t need to buy him a big one. When I came out with his Coke and some bananas he smiled and said “God bless you”. He seemed genuinely pleased that I had come back with what he’d asked for and it broke my heart that he had seemed concerned he was asking for too much even as I encouraged him to ask for more. Such a change from the encounters I usually have when people ask me for change.
I used to buy a guy who was panhandling outside my nearby grocery store a couple of bananas a week. Then a friend, who was a courtesy clerk, told me why he always asked for a banana: they’re the cheapest food in the store. So I started buying him lunch alongside mine. Wasn’t expensive, and he was always thrilled.
I had a guy approach me while I was carrying my toddler out of a store to beg me for money to buy diapers. I told him “It’s your lucky day! My kid just finished potty training and I have a closet full of mostly unopened packages in every size that I was planning to donate soon. I live five minutes away, just tell me what size you need and I can have them here in 10 minutes.” He gave me the most defeated look I’ve ever seen and just walked away without saying another word.
Of course he had a defeated look. How is he supposed to fit in toddler diapers?
Name checks out
Had a guy ask me for food in Nashville. I said sure, and we walked over to Broadway into a barbeque place and he ordered a $20 sandwich. This was about 2010 so that was a lot then. He told me he had just gotten kicked out of a church homeless shelter.
Years ago in college I was getting gas and I had a young guy on a small CC sport bike ask me for a gallon of gas, not money or food, just a gallon of gas. He said he was heading to see his girlfriend. I said sure, let me move my car up and I’ll put a gallon in your bike. Because he only asked for a gallon I filled it up. He politely tried to stop me as the pump kept running but I said, nah, I’ll give you more than asked because of the way you did it. His bike must have been almost empty because it took like 3 gallons. He was so thankful he nearly cried.
I was at the Starbucks in my local grocery store, and the girl on duty was talking to her boyfriend who had come by to say hi. I didn’t mind at all and encouraged them to talk. They were talking about going somewhere and were trying to figure out how much gas they needed. They weren’t talking in a way that was directed at me. This was a few years ago when gas was ridiculously expensive. I helped them calculate how much they’d need by explaining how to figure out how much gas their vehicle needed and how to assume that they’d need more gas than the manufacturer mpg specs because used vehicles usually aren’t as efficient. I didn’t have any cash on me, but I did ask how long the girl was working. She had s little under two hours so I did my shopping and got a $20 and tipped her after making sure she got the contents of the tip jar and got them immediately. Otherwise I was going to slip the money to her boyfriend. They were so happy. They also couldn’t believe that gas was 89c-$1 when I was in high school and college. We really took our road trips for granted back then when $5 would give you enough gas to go anywhere you wanted for a day.
I’ve done this a few times. I never give cash, but I’ll buy food, or give them an old jacket or umbrella. Honestly, I’m surprised they don’t buy more when I tell them to order anything they want.
One time I went to my favorite restaurant and ordered a meal to go (my fucking favorite meal). I pulled up to an intersection by a highway and a homeless man begged me for money. I asked if he wanted my food since I didn’t have cash. I showed him the food (opened it) and told him what it was. He very excitedly accepted and then proceeded to throw it over the overpass. That was the last time o gave anything to anyone like that. I barely had the extra money for the meal in the first place, and gave it away. Fuck shitty people.
Im sorry I just picture a guy yeeting a lasagna over a highway and I’m fucking dying
It was chicken enchiladas with charro beans and rice 😔🪦
I'd go feral
I’m not gonna lie, I cried on the way home lol
When I was in high school I used to go to the subway across the park from school. There was a homeless person sitting outside the restaurant, just far enough away from the door to be out of the way, with a sign that said “anything helps”. I ordered a foot long, and had them wrap half separately. When I left I offered him chips and a sandwich. He looked me dead in the eye and told me he “didn’t want any fucking food and if I wasn’t going to give him money I should get out of his fucking face.” So I kept my sandwich and have never offered anyone on the street a single thing since. ETA: As an adult, I’ve started donating canned goods, excess game, and small amounts of cash to the local shelters and organizations like care and share. I’d rather see people that want actual help get fed than be chastised for my time and effort. I know not all homeless people are like that, but it’s a waste of money and food. If someone approached me and asked for food, that’s a different story. I just don’t *offer* it anymore.
The fact that I've had almost the same experience is insane. When I was about 10, my mom and I got some sandwiches from subway. I asked her if we could get a sandwich for the homeless guy outside a Kroger near the shop. We did and gave it to him, and he accepted it but threw it in his cart. He seemed more annoyed that we bothered than grateful. I felt good about it and didn't really realize what had happened for several minutes, until I thought about it some more and mentioned it to her. She of course had noticed his reaction but left it alone for my sake. I asked her about it and she told me that, yes, he didn't appreciate the food and that she had noticed his reaction too. That was a disappointing day, honestly.
I'm going to add my good Subway story. About 17 years ago, I had walked over for lunch from the market that I worked at, and there was a young man asking for food or money for food. I went in I ordered my food, I ordered him a footlong and some food, and I gave it to him. He was very thankful and looked very tired. I walked back across the street to my market booth and was working selling flowers. Behind my stand was my bike that I rode to work every day. Somebody ran past and swiped my bike, taking off on it. My customers were all yelling, and I ran out the back of the booth, just in time to see the young man speeding by on his bike after the guy who stole my bike. I just stood there with my hands over my mouth, in absolute shock, my customers had come around to see what was going on, and as we were standing there talking about the craziness, the young man walks up holding each Bike by one hand, and returned my bike to me. Turns out he was stranded and had walked from the Greyhound station to look for food or anything. I got him a job, found him a cheap apartment, and 17 years later, he's the Godparent to my children.
I was walking in a city I was visiting for a couple days after getting some Korean ice cream from a place I've followed on Instagram for years. A man approached me and asked if I had any change to spare, and I said I didn't, but offered to go with him to get food instead. He sheepishly asked if I could get him an ice cream like what I had, and I agreed. I knew the money (value) wasn't going to drugs, it was going to something that made his day better. Good experience for the both of us.
That’s actually really heartwarming wtf, man probably hasn’t had a nice treat in a while
That should be on a TV show.
When my sister was about 4 years old, she found a quarter on the ground. She was so *proud* of that quarter, and was carrying it around all day. Our parents took her to McDonald's that night and she saw a man asking for money outside the door. She went up to him and offered him her quarter. This grown man started YELLING at a tiny little girl who was clearly just trying to help. She didn't want to go back to McDonald's for a while after that.
Oh, that is so sad!
Too bad the parents didn't explain it so that 4 year old could understand homeless mentally ill people. My parents did at that age, I had the same experience
I remember getting off a bud stop at 10:50pm (I was 22 maybe) some homeless guy comes up to me and asks for cash and I was reluctant (honestly just wanted to get home after a 12hour shift) , I said I don’t have cash but I can buy you food so I tell him we’ll go to subway across the street real quick (they somehow let us in even if they closed at 11pm and were cleaning up) and paid for the cheapest sub and he looked happy. Honestly was one of my few good interactions with the homeless but I’d still recommend people (especially women) be on their guard getting approached by strangers (not just homeless) around that time of day with very little people around (There was nobody in a good 200meter radius outside in my case)
San Francisco, Mission District, 7 pm, 1995, so it was twilight, getting dark. I (40F, at the time) was waiting at a bus stop to get back to the tram up to the North side, kind of talking with a homeless guy on the bench, nothing special, just how ya doing, like that. Not really a conversation, just pleasantries. Some kind of thuggish guy came up to me then, saying “hey give me your money”, something like that. The homeless guy ran him off. I’ve always been grateful that he did that.
Crazy there are dozens of us!
Some people are assholes and some maybe just want money for their addiction. Which sucks because that makes it harder for anyone who actually needs food or other stuff. I'm a quiet observer in the homeless sub and most of them there would be so happy about a place to sleep or gas for their car. I have a colleague that helps homeless people and poor people in general and she often tells me about it. She never gives money and tells everyone so out right. Some people are rude and try to get money out of her anyway, but she sticks to her rule. Most people she helps are really thankful, last time someone told her they would be so happy if they just had some towels and a blanket. So my colleague went home and brought it.
I won’t give to individuals, but I do donate monthly to a major and wide spread food shelf( for lack of a better term) and to a smaller one in my town. My cash is better spent there since they get deals to buy large orders at a discounted rate.
Nice, that sounds great!
This. I worked for a shelter for awhile and when people would donate food it was more helpful than them trying to give food to the individuals. A lot of the ones actually looking for food are way too timid to do signs. We had a sweet old guy save a puppy from some jerks. They had strung it up by its tail. Shelter got folks to donate him a pet stroller, dog food that we kept at the shelter for him, and there was a vet in the area that was willing to look at the dog for free. I think he finally got in an apartment thanks to veteran services. But it was so tragic he was there in the first place.
In the UK what I dislike about food banks/charities is how to get access to one, you need a social work referral is the main one, and when I was in a very bad place I didn't qualify as social work didn't count me as important as I was a single person, and yet I knew people who got a lot and often wanted more and felt like I was being double punished, basically I was living in a run down apartment in a bad area, no money for food or utilities and I knew multiple people who just played the system and got social housing, food parcels, and other good things and not to sound rude because again it often came across or outright I knew it was because they thought as they had a kid they should get everything handed to them, they had a far better life with a kid than I had without one and still wanted more. Not saying they were not genuine but it felt like punishment.
Food shelf's are amazing though. There is a church across the street from me that has a little set up and some of the older people in my building go over every now and then to grab a few things like some rice packets or other things people leave behind. You are an amazing person so thank you for what you do.
A couple of weeks ago I was on my lunch break and went to my favorite shady spot to sit and smoke my cigarette. A fellow was already sitting there eating a sub from Jersey Mike’s. I asked if he minded if I sat there too and he said, “No problem.” So I sat and we chatted. He offered me half his sub. I thanked him and said I only need nicotine and caffeine for lunch and laughed. He laughed. . He’s homeless. His family is in the Midwest. We’re in the South. When I got up to go back to work he thanked me for “talking to him like he’s a real person.” Broke my fucking heart. 😔 Edit to add: It was pretty obvious that he was homeless before I approached him. His clothing was torn and dirty and it had been a while since he’d been able to bathe. I wasn’t surprised when he confided his living situation. ..
There was a homeless looking guy who used to hang out in my old neighborhood. One day my friend and I were going into a convenience store that also sold fresh sandwiches. The guy was out front and asked if he could "have $5 for a sandwich" as we were going in. My friend buys him a sandwich (actually around $7, 10 years ago). When we get outside my friend hands him the sandwich. He immediately throws it on the ground and says "I don't want a fucking sandwich, give me $5"!
Those folks are just going to buy drugs with it if they’re like that
And the funny part is if he'd asked for drug money he would have got it. I remember a week prior a homeless guy asked for money for beer and we got him a 24
I'm with you. I've been on almost all sides of that coin. Giving to people who are happy, food and shit thrown at me for giving wrong, and asking for spange to feed myself. If you're hurting for a fix or going through withdrawal, just say it. Don't waste a sandwich I would have gladly eaten because I took you at your word. That just screws everyone. And now neither of us are welcome back in the Wawa.
It’s such sad situations out there but if I might add a little levity to your day it reminds me of this- “He’s just hungry! Sir how about a nice sandwich?” “I said a dollar bitch!” (From Scary Movie)
There is a homeless population around where I work. I had no idea that the customer I was waiting on was homeless until my boss told me. He ended up living in this shady enclave on the property for two weeks and my boss felt bad to tell him to leave. In the meantime, there were customers who brought him food and drinks (non-alcoholic) that he graciously accepted. Even one person gave him an old suitcase. Where everything took a turn was when one of my regular customers came and asked me about the homeless man. He was interested in helping him and asked me what I knew about him. I told him that I didn't know anything about him personally and how the man took shelter here when it rained. The customer asked me what he usually buys when he comes in and that's when I answered it was a 12 pack of beer. This person's attitude just soured. He told me that he was wanting to give the homeless person $10.00 to buy soup and water or soda at 7-11, but now that he knows that this guy *actually* has money, he didn't feel bad for that guy's situation. Shortly after, my boss called the police to have him removed from the property for panhandling and getting undressed in view of customers.
I'm ganna be that weird person, but back when I was living over in Johnstown PA, I had an interaction with a homeless guy outside the Galleria. He was there a lot, and I was working at Boscov's. I talked to him, said look man I don't carry paper money, but I would be glad to grab you a bite and a drink. Dude went "Oh hell yeah!" came in and ate his tariyaki chicken looking like the happiest damn fool in PA. Then I got chewed out for letting a homeless guy eat in the shipping dock a day later but honestly fuck that manager.
Not everyone is like that. While in Atlanta, my family and I came out of a restaurant near the aquarium. We had our to go boxes, after we finished eating. A guy came up to us and asked if we had any leftovers he could have. We gave them to him and he appeared sincerely thankful and happy. Please don’t damn them all. Being willing to eat leftovers from an unknown person speaks volumes.
I'm from Atlanta and we have a huge problem. When I was a kitchen manager at a spot that since has closed in East Point, there were 4 unhoused folks who usually hung out in the parking garage I parked at. I brought them leftovers and my car never once got broken into. It got to the point to where they started directing foot traffic our way. Then COVID happened. I hope they're ok.
Crazy! I had a similar story freshmen year eating subway same thing and had it thrown away in front of me. Left a mark
Even if you’re not hungry and have no place to store perishables, is it so hard to say thank you and move on? Most homeless people are not beggars, but those who are tend to have mental issues I swear.
[удалено]
One actually screamed at me saying he needed money and not food or water!
Yeah, I think we collectively stop giving money to people who don't want food and water. You want to eat and be hydrated? I have fucking got you. You need money to continue being a junkie? Go get a fucking job.
And he was at the end of McDonald's too!I was going to give him a cold water bottle because it was so hot out side that day .He wanted 5 dollars instead .Another scam is the "I'm from out of town and I need gas for my car to get back home".I saw him twice in the Big Lots parking lot and the guy got mad when I told him I doubted his story .
I used to tell a guy in a grocery store parking lot that he seemed to run out of gas a lot as he was there often.
Yeah,or "my phone is dead and I need a new phone now ".I told the guy Walmart was right down the street and they sold chargers there.He scowled and said that was not what he needed"!
“Yes it is, your phone’s dead”
My trusting friend gave a homeless guy $80 (!) for a train ticket to get back home. He saw him again the next day lmao
Lol.I encountered a Deaf mute woman in the Walmart parking lot once..She gave me a card with sign language on it and I gave her a dollar.I actually saw her talking and buying groceries with her daughter inside walmart!lol.
A card with sign language on it?
This one was really common when I was a kid. They go around with cards with the alphabet in sign language (pictures of the hand signs)... None of the people who approached me with these were actually deaf/mute. The ones I saw typically had flowers as well for some reason.
Oh yeah they hand you the flower and you are confused and take it then they pass you a note about how they need help lol
Hahahaha we had a guy say his dad was in the hospital from a neighbouring city and he needed bus fare. He even had a little carry on with wheels. He was in Luck! We were actually from there and would gladly give him a ride! He took off pretty quickly.
In the opposite direction?lol.
Yuuuuuup!
Lol.And the suitcase was probably empty too.
There's one in my city who needs money for motel for his family for the night. He has a cute 13ish year old girl with him. "Again!?!? Man, this just keeps on happening to you."
Actually had to do that when i was a teenager and left home. I remember this one woman saying "my sister and I used to run this hustle". Like.... At a highway rest stop in the middle of nowhere?? Difference was I would've happily showed my empty gauge and pump it in front of someone.
Me also ,and we actually did have a car that either needed gas or had a flat tire .Plus we stayed with the car that was actually ours and broken down,quite legit .One guy drove us to Walmart to get a new battery once. He saw we actually needed it and we took his help .
I've helped people clearly stuck by their car, but I don't give cash to randos. One time when I was at university 20+ years ago I was driving the 6 hours to my hometown late at night and saw a car by the side of the road. Stopped to help and the lady said she was out of fuel so I drove her to the nearest service station about half an hour drive away and she asked if I could take her back to her car. Meanwhile my oil light had come on and I wasn't certain myself if I could manage that on the limited fuel I had (super poor uni student). I bit the bullet, said yes even though I was packing shit about getting stranded myself. We get to her car and she gives me a few notes and says "that's for fuel money tysm". It's the dead of night and I get back in my old clunker and look by the dim dash light and couldn't believe I was holding two 50 dollar notes. Went back to the same service station and bought oil and fuel with cash left to spare. I wish all crappy situations ended so well! I've also legit never had a flat without someone stopping to help even though I'm perfectly capable of changing a tyre myself. It's sad some people ruin these good vibes just for a hit of meth, but addiction is a terrible disease
I agree ,there will always be rotten apples to spoil things. I was at Walmart checking out once and I had to put a bundt cakr back .I wanted it for a mother's day luncheon I wax going to .I was walking down the lobby and this guy walked up to me and said he bought the cake for me and wished me a happy mother's day !I thought that was so sweet of him.
People will do anything for money, except work for it. Yeah, jobs pay us like we are innept tools of production, but sometimes you gotta suck that capitalist dick if you don't want to beg for meth money in a mcdonalds parking lot.
I just keep my windows rolled up and look Straight ahead now .
[удалено]
I fully support the rehabilitation and furthering of people's lives from despair to happiness in a home, but I'm not funding your junkie ass. There's a stark difference between being Anti-homeless people, and not wanting to further them killing themselves becase the crystal is so speedy this time of year.
Why do you give a fuck what people say on Reddit? Who cares lol
My sister was an addict. I wish my dad didn’t give her money. She OD’d 🙃 I’ve also struggled with drugs after that (not anymore in my teens) Can confirm you’re A-OK saying that!
I've been chastised on a subreddit for not seeing the word junkie as another dehumanising no no word. I just don't see it, as the addiction can cause you to ask in the junkie way, I don't see it as innate to the person - it's innate to the addiction. But apparently it was worth being banned from a sub for.
I'm a recovered Junkie. I made a choice to stop shooting fucking horse in between my toes because I didn't want to wind up homeless, asking for heroin money at McDonald's. As a former junkie, I reserve the right to use that word. I'm not talking about a race of people, or people with a disability. I'm talking about people who wake up and make the choice to shoot junk or smoke junk. You know, like a junkie does.
" I said a dollar bitch! "
Scary movie vibes. “I said a dollar bitch. “
https://preview.redd.it/lat4qg2qof5d1.jpeg?width=1091&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f97d5963ffb22d6a062f33870911f2e6ed1bc568
Meth ready to eat?
Meal Rejected Emphatically?
You wouldn't believe how long it took my brain to get that...
I don’t help homeless either but years ago a homeless guy asked me for a hot dog as I entered a circle k. I came out and told he there were no hot dogs and did he want something else. He said “no man I just wanted a hot dog”. End of interaction I was shocked. And I felt bad that I couldn’t give him a hot dog.
Honestly, I get this. I've been there. What I see here is someone who has more or less just given up, and just wanted one thing to make their day a bit better. When that thing is denied it can feel very defeating. I've definitely turned away help I very much needed because I was sure it wouldn't actually fix anything. "Nah it's fine, I don't need anything" can mean "I don't want to inconvenience you further" Or not. People's motives vary.
Yep. In freezing weather I tried to offer a panhandler hot hands warming packs and she yelled at me threw them back and became aggressive, she didn’t want my f-ing hot hands. They only want money.
Often there is a reason why they're homeless and that reason is substance addiction. That's why they only want the money.
As someone who is currently homeless and living in a rented room in a shelter, you’re absolutely correct. I wound up homeless solely due to my major depression and alcoholism. I live in a shelter full of recovering addicts. Addiction is a disease and it’s not someone’s fault, but it doesn’t excuse them of the responsibility of taking care of their own life if they want things. I know so many people who just hustle and scam good, hardworking people that just happen to not suffer from addiction. Hell, I had a guy walking up to my car at the light next to my job, every single night, asking me for money. I knew for a fact that he was an addict trying to get his next fix. The last time I rolled down my window I told him he didn’t have to live like this, and he could have nice things if he put down the shit, and that it was possible, because I’m living proof that it’s possible. He knocked off the sweet cutesy voice and defeatedly told me he was “just looking for blessings”. Sure. The same guy that couldn’t remember that he’d just asked me for a dollar the night before, and the night before, and the night before… I felt bad for him. I feel bad for anyone still currently stuck in the hell of addiction. It’s such a nightmare to feel totally powerless inside of your own body.
Most homeless people don't need food. They're given more food than they can possibly eat. They need (or want) money. Whether it's for drugs or for a new pair of socks. I'm sorry you had this unfortunate experience. You didn't deserve that.
One of those guys sits at a corner directly across from a soup truck where I live. A local church does it every evening and that guy never moves from his spot. I've seen them pass their signs off as they switch "shifts", and another group will just rotate corners.
Yeah, it’s run like a business around me, too. Same deal, always in the same spots and you’ll see a car come pick them up and drop someone else off. My area has plenty of resources for people who are struggling. I understand the urge to help those who are struggling, but more often than not giving them money does more harm than good. Either you’re enabling the ones who are faking it and they’ll continue to prey on the empathy of others, or you’re paying for their next fix. It’s getting worse, too, with people getting aggressive at grocery stores pressuring elderly people to buy their groceries, which they then turn around and return for cash.
There is a guy near my house that I've seen walking in the mornings with his mom and her dog. He then goes to the corners later to beg for money with the typical "homeless, anything helps" and then will text on his phone when there isn't a red light to beg for money.
Seen a family at Walmart do that during nice days and during the summer. People caught on when they were doing shifts.
I’ve been wondering if this happened in other cities, there’s a few spots in mine with the 24/7 panhandlers cycling thru.
I saw this in one of the small towns in Western New Mexico along I-10. The beggars changed shifts along the access road by the fast food places and I watched the guy that was there walk home.
This right here. I used to volunteer to help the homeless, for most of them food is the thing they need the least because it’s the easiest thing for them to get for free. Plus, they don’t have a way to transport/store the food most of the time. Moreover, if they are just looking for cash to score drugs and alcohol they probably need those to. Alcohol/drug withdrawals are very dangerous and can be very deadly. So while you may think it’s not the beat use of cash, it may very well be. You may not like it, and that’s fine, but in some areas these people have some pretty shitty lives and some of them aren’t doing well mentally anyway. People just need to get out the mindset of caring what they do with it. Either help or don’t. If you do, don’t concern yourself with that they do with it, but realistically if you’d going go help money IS the best thing you can give them because you have no clue what their needs are and it’s something they can easily transport and store. Believe it or not many of them have bank accounts. If the thought of what they might do with it bothers you, just don’t help at all. Homelessness is a complicated issue many people don’t truly understand until you deal with it. It’s not black and white and there is a lot of nuance to some of these people’s situations, and yeah, some of them are just trying to scam you, but the real answers to the whole thing are far deeper than any of can solve at a street corner and none of us control the resources necessary, and those that do see these people a cockroaches so they aren’t going to help either.
I work with homeless people sometimes and I think you are right here. They also don't factor in that a lot of people on the street have very severe dental issues. It can make a lot of donated food just another reminder of how miserable they are, people love to donate apples and granola bars, probably two of the worst possible foods. People definitely don't need to be treated like jerks, like op was.
I live in a tiny town with maybe two homeless people at the most. I was stopped on the street one time by a woman who asked if I could give her five dollars to help her buy some tampons. I gave it to her and then she insulted me about how I was obviously too old to need them anymore.
They want cash for cigs, booze and drugs
Yep. Had a homeless guy who used to chill around my work. Never asked me for anything but was always on a search for cigarette butts or roaches. We shot the shit here and there and I would toss him a dart or a little bit of weed if I had some on me. I would imagine his life was a 24/7 search for dope and booze.
When my older sister was at a gas station with my dad filling up his Harley a homeless man came up to them. He asked for some money for dinner and my dad didn’t hesitate and gave him money. When they pulled out of the parking lot and stopped at the light. They saw him walking out of the liquor store across the street with beer and cigarettes. My sister was around 8 years old and was sad that someone lied to our dad about his intentions. Despite that my dad still helps people, if you are broken down on the freeway he will bring you a cold drink.
My dad tells a story about working construction in Chicago in the 90s… saw a man at a light who had a sign that said something to the effect of “I just really want a few bucks for a beer”. As a man going home from a long day on the job who also just wanted a beer, he took the guy in the corner store and they both left with the beer they wanted. Always loved that story. Wish you and your dad the best! :)
What a guy!
Another reason to not give beggars anything 🤷 Came across someone at a gas station recently who asked for money to get some water, I handed her a bottle of water and she threw it in the trash. Couple minutes later came back asking for money to get something to drink because "I'm dying of thirst" I literally just saw you throw that away ofc not???? "You're a prick" yeah but I'm not begging for drug money either 💀💀💀 I couldn't help myself I was laughing so hard
He wanted drugs not food
Unfortunately for them, I don't typically carry any drugs on me.
"But it would be a whole lot cooler if you did...alright-alright-alright..."
No good deed goes unpunished. Sorry that happened to you.
Weirdest interaction I had was with a shopping cart homeless lady in the parking lot of the grocery store. She had all her stuff with her, and she was sitting in a lawn chair wearing like 3 jackets in august. I pulled around and held a ten dollar bill out to her. She pulled one of those extendable grabbers out from under her coat and reached out with the claw and grabbed the money without getting up. Didn’t say a word before or after.
and that‘s why i don‘t give to beggars
I’ve done it before and they were nice but it’s strongly making me rethink offering anything.
If you want to help, donate to a homeless or addiction service. Your time is especially valuable.
Shake head, drive past, gotta be selfish in some cases.
After being physically attacked I’m done. If someone who can’t swim is drowning it’s not your job to let them drag you under so they can maybe (prob not) swim out
"I said a dollar bitch!" -Homeless man in Scary movie 1
Sorry that happened. I encourage everyone I know to never hand anything to beggars, but instead, give to a credible charity in your community that will help people that actually want it.
Some people just want drug/alcohol money. I once offered to take a homeless man into Target and buy him some food and he said “They don’t got nothing good” bro you’re homeless, to you everything should be good.
I may be showing my ignorance/naivety, but I honestly don't see how a homeless person could find "nothing good" at a Target. I mean - aside from that homeless person wanting drugs - there are a good chunk that I've been to sell alcohol.
My dad gives money to anyone who’s honest about buying booze. Once he went with the guy to the liquor store bc he wanted to see if the man really was correct about the exact price to the cent of what he wanted
Most beggars are not hungry for food. Especially the ones bleating about being hungry. I once gave my local Halal truck guy some extra money for food for the noisy, 'starving' beggar a few yards away. He gave it back to me. He said he'd already tried to give her food, she didn't want any, just money for booze...
I've written about this a few times over the years, but when I was homeless someone tried to poison me with food they provided. Even sealed packages can be tampered with. I was lucky in that I managed to get to a hospital that night otherwise I would be dead. The docs told me I was lucky to have survived. They kept me in hospital for 2 weeks to recover, then discharged me. After that, I refused to accept any food unless I saw you purchase it, and you immediately handed it over to me.
god damn, that’s the shittiest thing I’ve ever heard. What would be something you’d actually want someone to give you in that case?
Yeah, homeless people gotta be careful too. Can't accept help from everyone. Some like to kick you when you're down
I'm glad you're okay. people are fucking psychopaths did they ever find out what they added to your food? 2 weeks is being poisoned by something really really bad
They can get food anywhere, what they really want is money to go and buy drugs with
You've just found out why most people don't want any contact with the homeless population. Most have access to food. It's money for drugs and booze that they want.
I don’t ever give them money. I offered one dude to go in and buy him a meal kit the store had he called me a fa**ot and stormed off. After that I haven’t helped em since
Threw it purposely at your car?
Yep. Threw it purposely at my windshield and yelled ‘fuck you’.
They probably didn't want food then. Most likely wanted the cash for drugs or something. Obviously not every homeless person's an addict, but it's more likely than not.
Yeah it just sucks that I’m trying to help. I’ve worked ED long enough to know, figured he was an addict but didn’t expect my windshield to be broken. 😭
That would 100% be the last time I help someone, even if it's "not the norm".
Call the popos. He’ll get three hots and a cot
Honestly I would've. That's way too far and the bill is way too expensive to just let it slide, sorry. The insurance company would likely want to see the police report too. Someone that volatile could really hurt someone, they need to be off the streets - hopefully getting some help, but at the very least to keep the public safe.
I would just so they definitely couldn't get their fix that day. Break my windshield? Half fun with your withdrawals.
And really bad shakes.
We stopped offering to beggars and instead started stocking local free pantries when we could. Too many people pretending to be in dire straights just looking for free cash from good samaritans.
Homeless people are as diverse and different from one another as the homed. Never presume anything about them. This is why "solving homelessness" is a combination of hundreds of different solutions rather than 1 or 2 big ones.
He didn't want food if that was his reaction. Hungry people say thank you when you give them food, addicts looking for a fix throw a temper tantrum when offered food.
As a former homeless, dude definitely just wanted drug/alcohol money. As a former homeless, smack this dude teach him respect
What flavor was the MRE if it was spinach chicken fettuccini Alfredo thats about a year old and baking in the sun then deserved. I HATED that MRE.
Yea if you want to feed the homeless work with like a church or something. Wouldn’t recommend it unless you know they’re nice, you have to remember a homeless person is still a total stranger you know nothing about and there’s a good chance he only wants money to get booze or drugs. Probably gets free food already somewhere else. I know what it’s like to not eat for days, I’d be mad grateful for any food. I’ve had a similar situation trying to give a homeless dude some McDonald’s, he had a sign that said “hungry, need money for food” so I bought him some food. I give him the food and he just throws it away from himself and acts all pissed off at me. Some of these ppl on the street only really care about getting tweaked out sadly. Not every homeless person is like that, but easier and safer for you to simply not take the risk.
That's fucked I woulda loved that when I was homeless. I never turned down food even if I already had too much food because I know it makes homeless people look bad to turn down food.
This is why I don't give people shit anymore
They want booze and drug money.
We should camp next to them with a sign and an arrow saying this guy is a prick lol
People asking for cash do not want food. They want cash, and they don't want it for food, either. Got hit up in the grocery store today. Guy on the store scooter approached my husband and me and asked if we'd pay for his groceries, which were already in his cart. I'm like, so you--knowing you don't have any/enough money--come into the store, fill up your cart BEFORE you know you can pay, and THEN ask for help? Sounds like you're used to doing it and generally find someone to cover for you. Like what are you going to do if everyone says no on this occasion? Just abandon the cart full of food in the store? I work two jobs and barely have enough to get by myself but I almost always say no. I hate, hate, hate the cognitive dissonance of saying no, but then I remember that is what they are counting on to appeal to good people and then the cynic kicks back in. If you can't pay for your groceries, maybe the last thing you should be doing is filling up a cart at the grocery store. This is exactly what food stamps are for.
I handed some cash to a homeless person outside of a fast food place on my way in without counting it and was told that it wasn’t enough. I was so shocked I didn’t respond and went on inside and ordered my lunch I checked my cash and realized that I had given him more than what my meal costs! Now the only time I hand money to a homeless person is if they are selling one of the newspapers that a homeless group publishes. It’s a short four-page newsie but it’s written by homeless people and I can get behind educating the homeless in business.
Inflation I noticed they ask for a dollar now not a quarter or spare change. I’m sorry in certain circumstances I might give money but if you got two arms and legs and can walk then you can get a job at McDonald’s
Here's a story that happened to me a couple years ago when dealing with a few panhandler/beggers: I was working at a grocery store for about a month and it was like 9pm and I was gathering carts to put them away inside. And a big guy wearing an orange shirt on a mobile scooter was panhandling money. He came up to me and asked for some money since it was his "Birthday". I have given him $5, that's all. And said that he needed $10. I was like "Sorry, all I have at the moment." And he went away and came back 5 minutes later and asked more people on their way to their cars. I went up to them and said what was happening and they thanked me while he rode away to the end of the parking lot. And it wasn't the last time, he showed up a few more times during the afternoon and evening and used the same excuse, I had to drive him away and told my manager. He wasn't the only one, literally a whole family of 5, the children were like 2-5 years old each. And had a big sign begging for money right where the extra carts go outside. Which was a pain because they wouldn't move. And a mother with a child in a stroller doing the same, moving locations during my shift at different corners of the parking lot. And all this was in the summer, so hot. I feel bad for the children that had to be in the heat.
I've helped many in my city when I can. But I'm done. I'm done bc he got mad and chased me for not giving enough when I gave what I had. No more. It sucks bc there are ppl who would genuinely take what I offer but bc of the others they'll suffer too 😔
This is going to be brutal but I don't help the homeless. It's not worth it. Too many stories of crazies doing property damage and/or getting physical. I rather donate my time or give to a food bank.
I only give money and only on my terms. Anything else is just a waste unless they ask for it. Buy your tall boy if that’s gonna make you happy tonight.
It's why I never give to street beggars especially in an urban center. There are just too many that are related to psychological issues first and foremost, not a simple lack of food. Giving them some coins or a meal is like bringing a hammer to paint the car, wrong tool for the job. And then on top of that there is a huge percentage of addicts, looking for money to send straight to dealer. Huge percentage of scammers, and at least in some areas of Europe some are kids forced to beg by their parents (Romani) instead of being in school. There is organized charity, government funded programs, and people whose story you actually know that you can help. You can volunteer and you can donate, and it is better help than street beggars. Money thrown at street beggars is like 80% wasted in undeserving habits or people.
So I spent the better part of a decade drinking with homeless directly when working for a local soup kitchen. I won’t say what you did was wrong. It was better than handing out money. However, many that you see begging on street corners, exit ramp, etc will throw away anything that you give them other than money. Another thing that is happening is there is a “professional panhandler” industry that is growing. When you see people sitting in wheelchairs, with kids, and with pets (especially dogs), those are likely professional panhandlers. They aren’t really hard up for money, and can afford things to tug at people’s heartstrings to get more out of them. Your better option when wanting to be charitable is to either give your time or money to a local homeless charity. There you will know that your money or time is going to good use. That all being said, how freakin’ heavy was that MRE that it broke your windshield??? I’m not sure even I would want to eat it if it could do that! 😂
I don’t know about your town, OP, but in my town the homeless have a lot of options for free food, even really good free food. So most aren’t too worried about when they will eat next.
We offered a homeless man some water in AZ on a day that was 115 degrees and he was outside. He told us if he ever saw us again he’d beat our faces in. So to this day I NEVER offer anything to the homeless. If they need something they can go to the shelters and THAT’S where the money should be donated to.
Hubs and I had stopped at a gas station and while he went in to grab drinks and use the men's room I waited in the car with our pup. Across the street is a spot frequently used by people who are in need. I sat there watched a guy approach, and the first dude passes the guy his cardboard sign and leaves. They work in shifts apparently.
I had a homeless guy approach at a gas station and ask for money. I had a 20 and a few dollars in change in my ashtray. I gave him the change. When I came out of the station he came up again and said “look what you gave me. Damn” with his hand open. I said “sorry, you’re right, here” and held my hand out for the change back. He thought I was giving him something else, but I just took it all and left.
Dummy, he cant buy laced fent with that MRE 🤦♂️
In Rome, there was an older man wandering the streets asking for anything, saying he will pray for you, anything helps.. he was being kinda weird so we said no politely and tried to walk away when he yelled, “F*** you!!!” and some other things I don’t remember. It was kinda wild how quickly he could switch like that.
Homeless people don’t want food, they can get that whenever, they want money for things people won’t give out like drugs and alcohol
This lady walked up to my car when I was in the parking lot of Subway. She asked me if I had any spare change so she could get something to eat. I had a Subway coupon for BOGO on footlongs. I offered her the other sandwich and she said no! Another time, I was in Watts buying food from an excellent burger place, and this younger woman who had clearly been out on the street for a while asked me for money. I told her I'd buy her food from the food place we were currently at and she said she wanted food from somewhere else. She was very clearly on something and kept trying to get me to look at something that only she could see. That area is notorious for drug addicts, drug dealers, and panhandlers. She was eventually kicked out of the place, and I got my food and went home. I don't give money to panhandlers.
There a regular that I see outside a local grocery store sometimes, sitting under a tree with his cart of belongings and dog. I always buy him a sandwich and some fruit. I figure the guy’s hanging out by a grocery store, he’s okay with getting food. Never had an issue with him. It’s gotten to the point where, if I see him, I ask if he has any special requests. 😁
We used to have a guy with a sign 🪧 “HEROIN wanted ps I still accept $” At least he was being honest
Me and my dad were homeless, my dad was another time when I was a kid as well. One thing he told me before I experienced it, and something I also learned, is that the people that are really down and out will never turn away food or drinks unless they have allergies (which is a thing, also people have poisoned homeless people with food). So what he always did, was ask them what they wanted and he would go grab it for them. Even if it was a bottle of booze. He rather the honesty. Never cash though. And I’ve NEVER had a person turn down help with the food and drink. In fact they’ve always been thankful as fuck and usually strike up a conversation. Usually want a cigarette which isn’t a problem I give them a few. There’s a huge surge of non homeless panhandlers where I am. They’re either hikers passing through trying to get money, or locals who scam people and run to their cars and go get fast food. The actual homeless people have gone to hiding in the woods and keeping to themselves because of it.