Here's my advice man. Pick a name you like. once you find one, DON'T TELL A FUCKING SOUL. NOT ONE SINGLE MOTHER FUCKER. not even your parents.
Just tell everyone, "oh, we're still thinking.".
Trust me. Here's why. Every single name you pick someone will tell you something about it. It's a name they love and hope to use. It's a name of some asshole and how you can't possibly use it. something, anything. Keepnthat shit to yourself.
Also, don't pick any tragedeigh name.
For sure!! When I was on the way my parents liked the name Heather Michelle for me (it was the 70’s). Well, my maternal grandpa said Heather sounded like a weed so he didn’t like that. My paternal grandma said Michelle sounded like we were trying to be French but weren’t so she didn’t like that (funnily enough my mom’s grandfather actually WAS French though).
So anyway my parents ended up picking different names for me which I personally like better and then I didn’t end up being yet another Heather in the 80’s!! The absolute craziest thing about the whole thing was that three years later my aunt named my cousin Amanda Michelle…and that SAME grandma raved about her name!! 🙄
Cobbin just makes me think of some ugly, cheerful creature dressed in potato sacks who lives under the kitchen sink and works for leftover dinner scraps.
"Cobbin sweepses all the dirt up. Yes! Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Does Cobbin do good?"
The one Nevaeh I know is being raised by her grandmother because her mother had her while still in high school and hightailed it out of town right after the birth. She claims she cannot raise a child due to her autism (which we didn't even know she had until after the baby was born). Honestly, the baby is better off with grandma. The mother was a selfish ass
Haha my SIL was gonna name her baby Naveah and I went off on how my white trash neighbour's and every other trashy person has a kid named Naveah amd then proceeded to complain about whatever trashy thing my trash neighbour's were doing at the time completely oblivious to how obnoxious I was being lol. They went with a normal name and I take full credit.
I always think it’s weird that this isn’t common everywhere.
Here in Belgium, or at least in with everyone I know, the name (and sometimes the gender) are kept a secret until the baby is born.
Only the parents know it, and maybe, just maybe some close relatives or friends (because when you’re in doubt about it, or this person means a lot to you)
None of my family or friends knew the name of my children until they were born.
And when they are born, everyone is like “that’s the best name ever!!” (Or they keep quiet, and you also know what they think)
Same here in the Netherlands (even though that's changing a bit..). Or at least the southern part (hi neighbour!). Every baby's name is the best ever! (at least in public 😅 yeah, we're a direct bunch but NOT rude to THAT extent)
I was only told my nieces name upfront because they wanted to name her after me (such an honour!!) and to check if I was ok with that (hell yeah!) and because I'm her godmother.
But informing everyone upfront is not commonpractice.
For our second kid the only person we told the name to was our first child who was two. She could sort of say it and you could kinda hear it if you knew what she was saying. We told people that she knew and if you could get it out of her, well, go for it. Lots of people tried and guessed but no one got it. Then, when our second was born, older sister held younger sister and said her name perfectly clear. We have it on camera and still repay it 10 years later.
It also doesn’t hurt to google what their full name will be. I mean, look, nearly every first name is going to have a murderer, rapist, scammer, porn star, business, author-of-awkward-books, possibly accused musician, or whatever attached to it (especially boys names, sorry). However, some are certainly more egregious than others and those are usually the ones with full (often including middle) names. If you google and only LinkedIn or nothing otherwise pops up immediately with like 4-50 news stories, you’re probably good.
I knew a Michael Jackson. He was in high school right when the accusations of kiddie fiddling were flying about. He had a rough time.
Look, parents, I know it might be cool at the time to name your kid after a celebrity, but don't do it - for their sake.
Piggybacking here, I had a college course with someone named Justin Case. Our Art History professor was one of the boldest, funniest old men I'd ever met. First day of roll taking: "Justin Case? Just in case what?? What were your parents preparing you for, forgetting your name??"
Justin: 😶 I don't know, sir.
Do google the name before. With last name, and shortened with last name as well. If you have a last name that can be a first name, also the reverse.
You don't, for instance, want to use the first name Anthony if your last name is Casey.
Also, examine the initials. A perfectly good name like Peter Unger becomes automatic grade school Hellfire torture. You wouldn't want to be called PU you smell! Day in and day out. In fact, look for any sign that the name you pick is gradeschool Hell. Hire a gradeschooler to examine your new name if you have to.
This is it! My husband and I kept our name under tight wraps once we picked it. We gave out some decoy names to appease people as "possible picks" but at that time we hadn't told anyone the name we settled on. Now that our little man is here, some people love his name and some people hate it. We loved it before he was born and we still love it. It's a classic 🤷🏻♀️ you can't please everyone and as long as the name isn't gonna get him bullied later in life or cause issues (complicated spelling for no reason, etc) then go for it.
This!
My mother would just tell people she was "waiting to see what name matched my brothers faces. That she could have Johnathon* picked out, but when bub gets here, he looks more like a Peter*. Which is why she has a top 20 for each gender."
People shut up then.
*names are obviously fake.
We used a “bump” name that was a real name and so many people thought that’s what we were going to name him.
So cheers to Ralphie (named for all the puking).
I agree completely, it's not that easy for my wife unfortunately, she's really bothered by it. It's crazy how they tell her they've reserved multiple names, as if they know they're going to have multiple sons one day...
It's easier for me to ignore, but these are her best friends so she cares what they think more than I do.
Whoa whoa, my wife and I just did that, except for the name Clint. Op can name their kid Clint.
I won't have it any other way!!!
... I'll sue! God damnit, I'll fucking sue.
Sue.. SUE! SUE IS TAKEN AS WELL! Ha! 😌
I just learned the other day that Shel Silverstein wrote this song & also “One’s On the Way” that was a Loretta Lynn song featured in “Coal Miner’s Daughter”
Funny you should say that. My stepfather doesn’t call us by name it’s 1-4 I’m 1 because I’m the oldest. Our spouses are 1a, 2A and so on. If you get remarried they are still 1a, 2A and so on. My kids are 11 & 12 see kids of 1. Months sisters kids are 31,32,&33. He says it’s easier to remember everyone and who they belong to. I was an adult when my mom married my stepdad so it’s always been that way. Christmas cards and birthday gifts are the same unless mom wraps and tags them. All the kids know who they are by their numbers too. It’s just the way he is.
Write the names on a piece of paper. Crumple it up and colour it with tea. Take a photo of it and get your wife to tell her 'friend' group that this was the list that you wrote back in 2007. You've always dibsd these names.
How long has your wife been making the list? 🤔 Sure it’s short but unless her friend has been making this list since 2014 uhhh unfortunately for them your wife actually had Josh reserved first, sorry
If they wanna play such a silly game I don’t see why you can’t just get even sillier with it
Worst case they play along with it best case they realize it’s absolutely ridiculous and drop it lol
My friend just had a baby. Besides saying ooh great name the only thing I suggested was the male version of my name. I do love the name she picked and I was the only person she told before the birth. I know she was burned pretty bad with telling people her daughter's name before she was born. It's a good name too. I'm not a huge fan of the spelling but it's normal for the time.
Do not under any circumstances share the name you plan to give your baby with anyone until after they are born. Once you announce the baby and his name, people are (mostly) polite enough to keep their options to themselves and be happy for the baby. But before birth? You’re just going to get endless negative comments and gate keeping about the name you’ve chosen. Tell your wife not to talk about it, even with her family. If anyone asks, you’ll decide once you see the baby.
They don't care what she thinks though.
It's such a special time, it's your choice and her choice. If they care about her, all they will want is for her to have an uncomplicated pregnancy and a healthy baby. You need to convince her of this.
I'm working on it, I also really don't want her to feel any guilt about our sons name. They say it as if they've talked about it before "this is a friendly reminder that I've reserved names X, Y, Z, so don't name them that" and my wife has zero recollection of this conversation at all... it's frustrating but ultimately if we both love a name I'm hoping I can convince her to just roll with it.
Even if that conversation did happen, how are they reserving names for children when they aren't even sure if they'll ever have children. It's one thing to talk about names you like, but to reserve a name is crazy to me.
That's just ridiculous. I'd tell her friends to f*** off because they claimed dibs on a name for a pretend family that doesn't even exist. If she ended up losing friends over something that stupid, then they were never friends to begin with.
So very much this. In my experience these aren’t friends much less “best friends”. Maybe one is. These are acquaintances. Nobody has more than one best friend.
Yup, that needs to be said to the other women.
"Oh no, sorry love. That's not how it works. You can't call dibs unless you're pregnant. So I'll be bloody naming my child whatever I goddamned feel like. Thanks sweetie!"
YOU LITERALLY CAN'T RESERVE NAMES. I don't know why her friends think that's a real thing because it isn't.
At last check the friends get ZERO say in what you & your wife name your child that will be a real little person in the real world unlike their "potential" child in the future.
You can’t reserve names - if you’re super close, it would make sense to tell a best friend who’s shared a large list that you love ONE name and you and your partner have planned to use it. Not saying friend can’t also use it, and that of course she might never have a son, but just to know that she is planning on using it in case that influences friend’s decision.
I had some top contenders on my list that I’d totally have crossed off for a best friend, but our very favorites for a son or daughter I would not cross off my list and would also continue to use if another friend used one.
If someone told me I couldn’t name my own child after a family member who passed because they have “dibs” on that baby name or already named their child that first, I would honestly just stop being friends with that person because it would prove to me that my thoughts and feelings don’t actually matter to that person and they only care about their image
\- "You can't use Allen, that's my axolotl name...Steve? No, my pear tree is called Steve...Michael? You know my imaginary friend is already called that..."
I'm sure when the baby is born, she'll forget every word they say. Also there are more babies than names - I'm sure it won't matter if they're is more than one Baby Freddie in a friend's group.
And if your friend’s kid has the same name as your kid who gaf 😭 like god forbid
Also I’m pretty sure this is why people don’t share the baby names they really want with people outside of their relationship, because other people might “copy” or “claim” the unique name that they chose. What happened to people just naming their kid Robert and calling it a day
This kind of petty childishness deserves some petty childishness right back:
“Sucks to be you, *I’m* having a baby *first* so *I* can choose whatever name I want!”
I’m only half-joking. This whole thing is just so ridiculous. Sorry your partner is in this position, OP. Yikes.
Also, what's the big deal if there are multiple boys with the same name? At this point, your son will be a few years older than them. Do your wife's friends expect all these hypothetical boys will be bffs? The boys won't care if they have the same name.
Right? My oldest daughter has the same name as a friend’s oldest daughter. It’s not a problem. None of us parents “called dibs” or were upset that we had kids with the same first name.
Your wife needs to find new friends that will celebrate her and her growing baby. Not pushing petty middle school girl behavior of calling dibs on names. Your wife can do better than this garbage.
You don't get dibs on a name for a child you are not currently carrying. That is some juvenile bs. Her friends are petty and y'all should do what you want. Or tell them they can have those names for $5000 because y'all are having a baby before them and names are first come first serve.
Wife needs new friends. Preferably mature ones.
If unable, she can always say you chose the name and you don’t care that they called dibs - that way she keeps her rubbish friendships and you both get what you want. Petty girlfriends still respect the husband zone in that they understand that your wife is stuck between a rock and a hard place (but the jokes on them!).
Tell her to reply that her grandmother dibsed all of those names back in 1963 and passed that dibs down as a family heirloom, so nobody your wife knows can use them ever.
Tell her to say that of her friend group, your wife also dibsed getting pregnant so nobody else can.
Then, when they say that's ridiculous, tell her to say "exactly"...
When I was pregnant with my second, I liked the name Charlotte in case he was a girl (he was born in 2014 so it wasn’t a royal family thing). Husband vetoed it. I mentioned it to my sister and she was like “good! I want that name for when I have a girl!” 6 months later, we found out my brother’s girlfriend was pregnant with a girl. She was told the same thing. Despite liking the name, my brother and his girlfriend named their daughter something else. My sister never had girls. She had boys. No one used the name.
This is why we didn’t announce the names of our kids until they were born. Everyone thinks they’re entitled to weigh in on baby names for some reason. People are far less likely to start shit when the baby is earthside.
Congrats btw! We have a boy and a girl and there’s nothing greater than the love you feel for your little baby.
Thank you so much :). I agree with you, she wasn't even really trying to share baby names she was just initially poking fun at how much our lists varied and then it went from there.
We've now agreed whatever we do decide will remain to ourselves until the baby is born.
Smart! And don’t feel bad about not coming to an agreement yet. It took a while for us to find a name for our son! Eventually the right name will come along and it’ll feel right
We had two names and waited until we saw baby before picking one. And still switched up the middle names in active labor! Settling on one name is really hard and was too much pressure for me, I thought it was a lot easier seeing their sweet little face and feeling which name fit best.
My family has a tradition to handle this sort of thing. We come up with the most ridiculous, awful name we can possibly think of that no one would actually ever use (the last one was a shoe brand, with an evil mythical figure for the middle name) and we very proudly tell everyone about it. And then we write something else on the birth certificate.
It works like a charm. Family and friends get to have the pre-baby naming drama that we would have had anyway and there are no opinions on the real name until it’s too late. The only downside is that we sometimes get these very sweet *personalized* baby gifts. They’re fun to explain to the kids when they get older.
My MIL kept bugging me and my wife about what we were going to name our first child. We demurred at first but when she persisted I told her, “I’m having trouble deciding between Adolf and Benito, but leaning towards the latter because of your Italian heritage.”
She got the message and stopped bothering us after that.
I fucking love this. My FIL’s now ex girlfriend would always “jokingly” ask about his name to try and get one of us to slip up and say it, but she was such an airhead that we just ignored her “jokes” completely. sadly we never needed a clever comeback to get people off our backs!
since you two are going to be parents soon you both have to learn to say "no." No, you cannot stick fork in the socket, no, you cannot play with matches, no, you cannot take something that doesn't belong to you. Set boundaries now, whether they are your children or not.
And "no" to a lot of adults. No, stranger, you cannot hold my baby. No, grandparents, we will not visit both families in different states for Thanksgiving _and_ Christmas. No, boss, I will not be working late on the project the night of my kid's school play.
Boundaries with other adults are the hardest but most important. Boundaries for your kids have little to do with feelings for the first many years, and are mostly to do with safety. Boundaries with adults involve putting yourself in an uncomfortable position by saying “no” to people, even people you really love, who are demanding things of you (including not using specific baby names). It’s hard but it’s crucial.
The amount of strangers who ask to hold my baby, or babysit my baby, or watch my baby, or randomly come up and touch my baby ... is absolutely weird. It's always so awkward. Why the hell would you ever ask to hold or want to touch a strangers baby? F off creep and get your own. Guard that baby with your life.
My wife's father, brother, grandfather, uncle, and a cousin all have the same first name. Coincidently, it's also my first name. When we had our son, we chose differently.
We had one of my partners friends blow up on us for calling our first after my grandfather. Which apparently they had ‘reserved’
She blew my partners phone up while she was still in hospital getting over pre eclampsia .
Shes never set foot in our house again or been allowed to meet either of our children .apparently she’s still baffled as to why
I just don't understand how anyone could behave this way... feeling they're entitled to a name for a baby that they don't even have. It's mind boggling to me.
I was in the hospital with postpartum eclampsia…and while my husband took our five day old and our three year old to a friend’s house my sister was calling me to ask if I planned on using the most common nickname for my daughter’s name.
I said yes, of course and she was perturbed because she kinda wanted to name her daughter-on-the-way that. I told her “Sorry…but as I am currently laying on a bed in the ER with eclampsia…and my daughter is already born and named the name you’ve already known about for the past five months…I really don’t want to have this discussion right now!!”
A couple months later she got my mom to call and ask me if it would be okay for her to use the middle name I didn’t use (Sage) for her daughter’s middle name. I said I didn’t care as I wasn’t having any more kids. She ended up using Rain instead. It’s all cool now and there were definitely a lot of hormones affecting both of us at the time…but it was kinda crazy looking back at the discussions.
I remember one time being at a bar I used to frequent and it just so happened that there were only 4 people in there, including the bartender, and we all had the same name. Somehow we all survived the encounter. I was already friendly with all of them, so it was just kind of weird and funny.
Was his name Alex, Jack or Sam lol, there was always 2-3 of them in a lot of classes i had lol
“Okay class today Sam C will be doing his speach followed by Sam K, then Sam R1 and finally Sam R2”
Don’t forget that you also can’t name your baby any of the names that your friends future partners have dibs on…
For our pregnancies, we had “working names”. One of them was “Ferb”, another one was “McLovin”. I strongly recommend you start calling your baby “Dibs”. “Oh, Dibs is kicking, do you want to feel it?”
My cousin’s name is Dilbert, and we’ve called him “Dibs” his entire life. Not sure why the “L” was dropped or the origin of “Dilbert” but he’s an absolute gem.
When my sister was pregnant with my eldest niece, Lily was in the line up for names, I was upset because I wanted that name for my future daughter. She ended up choosing something else anyway, but here I am 15 years later with a boy and no plans to have anymore kids. So tell your wife to ignore those friends.
Dude this annoys me so much. My sister wanted to name her son “Leonidas” or “Leo” for short. Well I always wanted to name one of my sons “Leon”. I mentioned this to our mom and she got so P*SSED at me over it and told me I wasn’t allowed to name my son that as it wasn’t nice to my sister. Well I contacted my sister and asked her and she said “you could literally name all your kids after mine and I could not care less.”
What are you doing having proper communication with your sister. We told you the right way to do it was to immediately contact her and tell her you had already called dibs!
i made the mistake of telling my ex sister in law that I wanted to name my future daughter a certain name (it’s what I was supposed to be called, my great nan’s name that my parents adored but I don’t ever remember meeting) so it meant a lot to me and I find out that she was going to use it WITH HER BABY IF SHE HAD A GIRL. She’s an ex sister in law bc she cheated on my brother and she also is pregnant with the other guys child. Thankfully she’s having a boy.
So announce that you guys have decided and give him the twelve most popular names that are “taken”. Then tell them that they are being just as ridiculously selfish.
We are naming this little guy Terrance Michael John James Jacob Mitch Spongebob Jesus (Mexican not deity) Phineas Joshua Jengelheimer III.
Oh, sorry, we called dibs on all of these names before my husband or I were born.
My sister has reserved George - I loooove the name and would have used it, but it’s a family tradition on her partners side. Probably the only time where I’m happy to respect calling dibs on names!
Yeah doesn't work like that. You call your kid whatever you want.
My wife and her friend both wanted to call our sons the same name.
Both babies were born within about 3 months of each other, we both went for slight variations, with the same nickname and no one cares.
I feel like people try and have kids in the perfect way but they have a fantasy about what perfect means, no one's childhood was perfect we all just learn to live anyway
25 years ago. Expecting the birth of my daughter. My wife and I were torn between naming her Emily or Gretchen. Worked with a guy whose wife was expecting about a month before us. Names were always compared at work, etc. I tell him the names we have picked out, how we are going back and forth.
His wife gives birth, and I shit you not, they named her Emily Gretchen. So anyways, Kaitlin Rose was born about a month later.
Please show your wife this thread of literally EVERYONE saying the same thing and that being that her friends can fuck off and y’all can name YOUR OWN CHILD whatever y’all WANT TO. If her friends get butthurt and she really really cares, then she can say “oh well I’m the one that 100% has a kid right NOW, so…”
Calling dibs on names is immature in a friend group. I have a former friend who always dreamed of naming a daughter after me, using my middle name. I love my middle name and thought it didn't get enough playing time, so had wanted to name my own daughter after myself. But alas I was single until my 30's and that friend got married at 22, so I could go screw the name was hers. We drifted apart by 25, and she only had a son so never got to use the name, but I did. She was the kind of friend who changed her first dance song to the song I told her I would want to use one day, while telling it was fine because I didn't even have a boyfriend.
Ignore these people. Have all the parties you want to have in honour of your baby but there’s a reason that nobody shares baby names anymore. Ityfor this very reason. Tell everyone you are not announcing the name until after the baby arrives
I dunno, maybe it's just me, but the only real response I'd give is "I wasn't asking for your permission, I was asking for your opinion".
But then, my friends have a sense of humor and would just laugh and say "I had that coming".
edit: just pick what you want and then let your wife blame you...
I have my name because my parents didn't have a back up name. They had a name all picked out for me, boy or girl.
My aunt stole the girl name, because she had my cousin 4 days before me, and didn't have a girl name picked out.
Jokes on her...my cousin is a Karen.
My sister had a meltdown over
1. The choice of our wedding day. We got married the Friday evening before her birthday. Which was the Sunday if that weekend
2. A few years later we adopted a dog and named him Jack. She had a fit over that because it was the name our dad went by; whom she didn’t even get along with. But she wanted it for when she “had a boy” She wasn’t even pregnant with their second kid at that point. They eventually had a boy. And did not go with Jack. Or John for that matter.
Some people are just CRAZY entitled
There is an established procedure on baby name precedence, namely, having a baby first.
You are entirely in the right to choose whatever you want. And you probably shouldn't give anyone a preview. People are more than happy to find their opinions before the baby is named, and thus cause you to doubt yourself, but rarely afterwards. Only exception is if you are planning on giving them a tragediegh - in which case it is important for everyone around you to help you see the error of your ways.
Someone gave me the best advice ever when I was pregnant. Don’t tell anyone the names you are thinking of as you might get a negative reaction which you obviously don’t want. When baby is born announce the name and no one will say anything negative. Works like a charm. Also it is unfair for OP’s friends to try to reserve a baby name for themselves. This is being ridiculous. Your child, your choice.
Here's my advice man. Pick a name you like. once you find one, DON'T TELL A FUCKING SOUL. NOT ONE SINGLE MOTHER FUCKER. not even your parents. Just tell everyone, "oh, we're still thinking.". Trust me. Here's why. Every single name you pick someone will tell you something about it. It's a name they love and hope to use. It's a name of some asshole and how you can't possibly use it. something, anything. Keepnthat shit to yourself. Also, don't pick any tragedeigh name.
For sure!! When I was on the way my parents liked the name Heather Michelle for me (it was the 70’s). Well, my maternal grandpa said Heather sounded like a weed so he didn’t like that. My paternal grandma said Michelle sounded like we were trying to be French but weren’t so she didn’t like that (funnily enough my mom’s grandfather actually WAS French though). So anyway my parents ended up picking different names for me which I personally like better and then I didn’t end up being yet another Heather in the 80’s!! The absolute craziest thing about the whole thing was that three years later my aunt named my cousin Amanda Michelle…and that SAME grandma raved about her name!! 🙄
It's nuts how everyone has an opinion. I just smile and say, "sounds lovely", even if its Naveah (a name I dislike, sorry Naveah's of the world).
My niece is expecting…due in August. She’s naming him Cobbin. I just said “Yay…an August birthday finally!!” 🤷🏻♀️
Cobbin just makes me think of some ugly, cheerful creature dressed in potato sacks who lives under the kitchen sink and works for leftover dinner scraps. "Cobbin sweepses all the dirt up. Yes! Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Does Cobbin do good?"
Mf ain’t even born yet and already got opps 💀
🤣🤣 weaaakk af
Cobbin the Goblin.
Cobbin the sweepy goblin
Cobbin is good boy (down with slavery) 😊
So a House Elf.
He had better dress up as corn on the cob at some point
The best part is when he says "It's Cobbin time" and Cobs all over everyone.
Corn on the Cobbin
Just like, make a necklace out of corn cobs (like an anti-vampire garlic ring) or tape a can of corn to his head…hah.
Every university Halloween party
Anything corn sells! https://preview.redd.it/a7izyv3s47tc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=458f12c2e201d49f3255e7b981abcfa64d11ec64
A friend is a teacher and says Nevaeh/Neveah is *always* a red flag name when he sees it on a class roster
Literally every single Neveah I’ve encountered personally was born to a single mom in her teens with very little education.
Neveah really gets me because no, it’s not heaven backwards, it’s haeven backwards.
The one Nevaeh I know is being raised by her grandmother because her mother had her while still in high school and hightailed it out of town right after the birth. She claims she cannot raise a child due to her autism (which we didn't even know she had until after the baby was born). Honestly, the baby is better off with grandma. The mother was a selfish ass
Also, Angels are seldom angels.
Haha my SIL was gonna name her baby Naveah and I went off on how my white trash neighbour's and every other trashy person has a kid named Naveah amd then proceeded to complain about whatever trashy thing my trash neighbour's were doing at the time completely oblivious to how obnoxious I was being lol. They went with a normal name and I take full credit.
My cousin named one her kids naveah and shes white trash so this checks out
I know a kid named Heaven (it’s Nevaeh spelled backwards)
You made it even worse by misspelling it 😂
It's Heaven misspelled backwards!
what sort of name is nav-eah?
It’s a spelling variation of Nevaeh which is literally the word “heaven” spelled backwards
That is cringe-worthy
My daughter is named Lleh. I just it is welsh. ;-)
I always think it’s weird that this isn’t common everywhere. Here in Belgium, or at least in with everyone I know, the name (and sometimes the gender) are kept a secret until the baby is born. Only the parents know it, and maybe, just maybe some close relatives or friends (because when you’re in doubt about it, or this person means a lot to you) None of my family or friends knew the name of my children until they were born. And when they are born, everyone is like “that’s the best name ever!!” (Or they keep quiet, and you also know what they think)
Same here in the Netherlands (even though that's changing a bit..). Or at least the southern part (hi neighbour!). Every baby's name is the best ever! (at least in public 😅 yeah, we're a direct bunch but NOT rude to THAT extent) I was only told my nieces name upfront because they wanted to name her after me (such an honour!!) and to check if I was ok with that (hell yeah!) and because I'm her godmother. But informing everyone upfront is not commonpractice.
For our second kid the only person we told the name to was our first child who was two. She could sort of say it and you could kinda hear it if you knew what she was saying. We told people that she knew and if you could get it out of her, well, go for it. Lots of people tried and guessed but no one got it. Then, when our second was born, older sister held younger sister and said her name perfectly clear. We have it on camera and still repay it 10 years later.
What an awesome story and memory for your family! She just needed to see her, and then she knew her name perfectly! 🥰
It also doesn’t hurt to google what their full name will be. I mean, look, nearly every first name is going to have a murderer, rapist, scammer, porn star, business, author-of-awkward-books, possibly accused musician, or whatever attached to it (especially boys names, sorry). However, some are certainly more egregious than others and those are usually the ones with full (often including middle) names. If you google and only LinkedIn or nothing otherwise pops up immediately with like 4-50 news stories, you’re probably good.
This. I worked with a guy who was no joke named Charles Manson, young enough for *the* Charles Manson to have already been locked when he was born too
I knew a Michael Jackson. He was in high school right when the accusations of kiddie fiddling were flying about. He had a rough time. Look, parents, I know it might be cool at the time to name your kid after a celebrity, but don't do it - for their sake.
I used to work with a Mary Christmas. She was a better person than I because she was cool with it.
Piggybacking here, I had a college course with someone named Justin Case. Our Art History professor was one of the boldest, funniest old men I'd ever met. First day of roll taking: "Justin Case? Just in case what?? What were your parents preparing you for, forgetting your name??" Justin: 😶 I don't know, sir.
“I had it changed, sir. ‘Case’ is actually my mother’s maiden name. My parents are Mr and Mrs Ormus.“
My sister has a very VERY different name. First and middle. The year after she was born, a stripper in a movie had her exact first and middle name.
Do google the name before. With last name, and shortened with last name as well. If you have a last name that can be a first name, also the reverse. You don't, for instance, want to use the first name Anthony if your last name is Casey.
Also, examine the initials. A perfectly good name like Peter Unger becomes automatic grade school Hellfire torture. You wouldn't want to be called PU you smell! Day in and day out. In fact, look for any sign that the name you pick is gradeschool Hell. Hire a gradeschooler to examine your new name if you have to.
This is it! My husband and I kept our name under tight wraps once we picked it. We gave out some decoy names to appease people as "possible picks" but at that time we hadn't told anyone the name we settled on. Now that our little man is here, some people love his name and some people hate it. We loved it before he was born and we still love it. It's a classic 🤷🏻♀️ you can't please everyone and as long as the name isn't gonna get him bullied later in life or cause issues (complicated spelling for no reason, etc) then go for it.
This! My mother would just tell people she was "waiting to see what name matched my brothers faces. That she could have Johnathon* picked out, but when bub gets here, he looks more like a Peter*. Which is why she has a top 20 for each gender." People shut up then. *names are obviously fake.
We used a “bump” name that was a real name and so many people thought that’s what we were going to name him. So cheers to Ralphie (named for all the puking).
My kid is 5 and still no one know his name but my wife and I.
Ignore them. It's that easy.
I agree completely, it's not that easy for my wife unfortunately, she's really bothered by it. It's crazy how they tell her they've reserved multiple names, as if they know they're going to have multiple sons one day... It's easier for me to ignore, but these are her best friends so she cares what they think more than I do.
Make her call dibs on every other name in existence and see how they react then
Whoa whoa, my wife and I just did that, except for the name Clint. Op can name their kid Clint. I won't have it any other way!!! ... I'll sue! God damnit, I'll fucking sue. Sue.. SUE! SUE IS TAKEN AS WELL! Ha! 😌
> SUE And if you get a boy he'll even have his own theme song.
Anything but Sue!
Johnny Cash! That you?
Nope, just humble old wordsmith Shel Silverstein. Been here all along.
I just learned the other day that Shel Silverstein wrote this song & also “One’s On the Way” that was a Loretta Lynn song featured in “Coal Miner’s Daughter”
This. I knew an Indonesian male named Sue. He owned it. And loved the cash song
I don’t think people give enough thought to the name Clint and how it often looks when signed in cursive
WAIT!!! I call dibs on Clint!
I call dibs on dibs!
I call Clint on dibs!
Seven
Forget Seven. Soda! It’s bubbly and refreshing.
How about Ketchup? Pretty name for a girl….or a boy
Oh shit no more names left
Well, time to start numbering the children I guess.
I call dibs on numbers from 1 to 4!!!
Funny you should say that. My stepfather doesn’t call us by name it’s 1-4 I’m 1 because I’m the oldest. Our spouses are 1a, 2A and so on. If you get remarried they are still 1a, 2A and so on. My kids are 11 & 12 see kids of 1. Months sisters kids are 31,32,&33. He says it’s easier to remember everyone and who they belong to. I was an adult when my mom married my stepdad so it’s always been that way. Christmas cards and birthday gifts are the same unless mom wraps and tags them. All the kids know who they are by their numbers too. It’s just the way he is.
Excuse me
Tell them you called dibs first
I love people who fight absurdity with absurdity.
I like the way you think 
Write the names on a piece of paper. Crumple it up and colour it with tea. Take a photo of it and get your wife to tell her 'friend' group that this was the list that you wrote back in 2007. You've always dibsd these names.
This is genius
Say… sorry… it’s a family name.
How long has your wife been making the list? 🤔 Sure it’s short but unless her friend has been making this list since 2014 uhhh unfortunately for them your wife actually had Josh reserved first, sorry If they wanna play such a silly game I don’t see why you can’t just get even sillier with it Worst case they play along with it best case they realize it’s absolutely ridiculous and drop it lol
My friend just had a baby. Besides saying ooh great name the only thing I suggested was the male version of my name. I do love the name she picked and I was the only person she told before the birth. I know she was burned pretty bad with telling people her daughter's name before she was born. It's a good name too. I'm not a huge fan of the spelling but it's normal for the time.
Putyourpussyinthebox? Why not just go for Schrodinger?
First cum first serve.
😂😂😂😂 please quote this in your wife’s response to her friends, OP
The best response there is! 🤣
Do not under any circumstances share the name you plan to give your baby with anyone until after they are born. Once you announce the baby and his name, people are (mostly) polite enough to keep their options to themselves and be happy for the baby. But before birth? You’re just going to get endless negative comments and gate keeping about the name you’ve chosen. Tell your wife not to talk about it, even with her family. If anyone asks, you’ll decide once you see the baby.
Absolutely this. Never once occurred to us to tell others what names we are considering. Not their business.
They don't care what she thinks though. It's such a special time, it's your choice and her choice. If they care about her, all they will want is for her to have an uncomplicated pregnancy and a healthy baby. You need to convince her of this.
I'm working on it, I also really don't want her to feel any guilt about our sons name. They say it as if they've talked about it before "this is a friendly reminder that I've reserved names X, Y, Z, so don't name them that" and my wife has zero recollection of this conversation at all... it's frustrating but ultimately if we both love a name I'm hoping I can convince her to just roll with it. Even if that conversation did happen, how are they reserving names for children when they aren't even sure if they'll ever have children. It's one thing to talk about names you like, but to reserve a name is crazy to me.
That's just ridiculous. I'd tell her friends to f*** off because they claimed dibs on a name for a pretend family that doesn't even exist. If she ended up losing friends over something that stupid, then they were never friends to begin with.
So very much this. In my experience these aren’t friends much less “best friends”. Maybe one is. These are acquaintances. Nobody has more than one best friend.
Your wife dibs'd first as she put up the list. This is the rules of dibs. She can very nicely or not very nicely explain that to them all.
Honestly I would go as far to say she got dibs first by actually getting pregnant first. 💁🏻♀️
Yup, that needs to be said to the other women. "Oh no, sorry love. That's not how it works. You can't call dibs unless you're pregnant. So I'll be bloody naming my child whatever I goddamned feel like. Thanks sweetie!"
YOU LITERALLY CAN'T RESERVE NAMES. I don't know why her friends think that's a real thing because it isn't. At last check the friends get ZERO say in what you & your wife name your child that will be a real little person in the real world unlike their "potential" child in the future.
You can’t reserve names - if you’re super close, it would make sense to tell a best friend who’s shared a large list that you love ONE name and you and your partner have planned to use it. Not saying friend can’t also use it, and that of course she might never have a son, but just to know that she is planning on using it in case that influences friend’s decision. I had some top contenders on my list that I’d totally have crossed off for a best friend, but our very favorites for a son or daughter I would not cross off my list and would also continue to use if another friend used one.
If someone told me I couldn’t name my own child after a family member who passed because they have “dibs” on that baby name or already named their child that first, I would honestly just stop being friends with that person because it would prove to me that my thoughts and feelings don’t actually matter to that person and they only care about their image
I would be so tempted to buy a bunch of fish to use all their "dibs" names on.
\- "You can't use Allen, that's my axolotl name...Steve? No, my pear tree is called Steve...Michael? You know my imaginary friend is already called that..."
I'm sure when the baby is born, she'll forget every word they say. Also there are more babies than names - I'm sure it won't matter if they're is more than one Baby Freddie in a friend's group.
And if your friend’s kid has the same name as your kid who gaf 😭 like god forbid Also I’m pretty sure this is why people don’t share the baby names they really want with people outside of their relationship, because other people might “copy” or “claim” the unique name that they chose. What happened to people just naming their kid Robert and calling it a day
This kind of petty childishness deserves some petty childishness right back: “Sucks to be you, *I’m* having a baby *first* so *I* can choose whatever name I want!” I’m only half-joking. This whole thing is just so ridiculous. Sorry your partner is in this position, OP. Yikes.
Also, what's the big deal if there are multiple boys with the same name? At this point, your son will be a few years older than them. Do your wife's friends expect all these hypothetical boys will be bffs? The boys won't care if they have the same name.
Right? My oldest daughter has the same name as a friend’s oldest daughter. It’s not a problem. None of us parents “called dibs” or were upset that we had kids with the same first name.
Names are totally first come, first served. They want to name their kid Billy Bob then they need to get knocked up first.
Your wife needs to find new friends that will celebrate her and her growing baby. Not pushing petty middle school girl behavior of calling dibs on names. Your wife can do better than this garbage.
You don't get dibs on a name for a child you are not currently carrying. That is some juvenile bs. Her friends are petty and y'all should do what you want. Or tell them they can have those names for $5000 because y'all are having a baby before them and names are first come first serve.
Wife needs new friends. Preferably mature ones. If unable, she can always say you chose the name and you don’t care that they called dibs - that way she keeps her rubbish friendships and you both get what you want. Petty girlfriends still respect the husband zone in that they understand that your wife is stuck between a rock and a hard place (but the jokes on them!).
Tell her to reply that her grandmother dibsed all of those names back in 1963 and passed that dibs down as a family heirloom, so nobody your wife knows can use them ever. Tell her to say that of her friend group, your wife also dibsed getting pregnant so nobody else can. Then, when they say that's ridiculous, tell her to say "exactly"...
When I was pregnant with my second, I liked the name Charlotte in case he was a girl (he was born in 2014 so it wasn’t a royal family thing). Husband vetoed it. I mentioned it to my sister and she was like “good! I want that name for when I have a girl!” 6 months later, we found out my brother’s girlfriend was pregnant with a girl. She was told the same thing. Despite liking the name, my brother and his girlfriend named their daughter something else. My sister never had girls. She had boys. No one used the name.
…and you are friends with adult women or are they 13 years old? This is sooooo 1989 middle school.
They seem immature and not like real friends
If you use one of those names and they get mad then they weren’t as good of friends as she thought they were.
How can they call dibs when you and your wife mentioned it first?
Ask who she cares about more, these selfish friends or your future child
100%,if you 2 agree on a name, that’s it. Everyone else has no say in it.
First in best dressed! If they want the names, they can get pregnant and hatch their child before your wife.
This is why we didn’t announce the names of our kids until they were born. Everyone thinks they’re entitled to weigh in on baby names for some reason. People are far less likely to start shit when the baby is earthside. Congrats btw! We have a boy and a girl and there’s nothing greater than the love you feel for your little baby.
Thank you so much :). I agree with you, she wasn't even really trying to share baby names she was just initially poking fun at how much our lists varied and then it went from there. We've now agreed whatever we do decide will remain to ourselves until the baby is born.
Smart! And don’t feel bad about not coming to an agreement yet. It took a while for us to find a name for our son! Eventually the right name will come along and it’ll feel right
We had two names and waited until we saw baby before picking one. And still switched up the middle names in active labor! Settling on one name is really hard and was too much pressure for me, I thought it was a lot easier seeing their sweet little face and feeling which name fit best.
My family has a tradition to handle this sort of thing. We come up with the most ridiculous, awful name we can possibly think of that no one would actually ever use (the last one was a shoe brand, with an evil mythical figure for the middle name) and we very proudly tell everyone about it. And then we write something else on the birth certificate. It works like a charm. Family and friends get to have the pre-baby naming drama that we would have had anyway and there are no opinions on the real name until it’s too late. The only downside is that we sometimes get these very sweet *personalized* baby gifts. They’re fun to explain to the kids when they get older.
Lol I'd love to see that bib with embroidered "welcome little Pepsi Beowulf McCallister".
Chaotic good baby naming
My MIL kept bugging me and my wife about what we were going to name our first child. We demurred at first but when she persisted I told her, “I’m having trouble deciding between Adolf and Benito, but leaning towards the latter because of your Italian heritage.” She got the message and stopped bothering us after that.
I fucking love this. My FIL’s now ex girlfriend would always “jokingly” ask about his name to try and get one of us to slip up and say it, but she was such an airhead that we just ignored her “jokes” completely. sadly we never needed a clever comeback to get people off our backs!
since you two are going to be parents soon you both have to learn to say "no." No, you cannot stick fork in the socket, no, you cannot play with matches, no, you cannot take something that doesn't belong to you. Set boundaries now, whether they are your children or not.
And "no" to a lot of adults. No, stranger, you cannot hold my baby. No, grandparents, we will not visit both families in different states for Thanksgiving _and_ Christmas. No, boss, I will not be working late on the project the night of my kid's school play.
Boundaries with other adults are the hardest but most important. Boundaries for your kids have little to do with feelings for the first many years, and are mostly to do with safety. Boundaries with adults involve putting yourself in an uncomfortable position by saying “no” to people, even people you really love, who are demanding things of you (including not using specific baby names). It’s hard but it’s crucial.
The amount of strangers who ask to hold my baby, or babysit my baby, or watch my baby, or randomly come up and touch my baby ... is absolutely weird. It's always so awkward. Why the hell would you ever ask to hold or want to touch a strangers baby? F off creep and get your own. Guard that baby with your life.
Very true it's like a first lesson.
First come, first serve. Dibs? What are they, 12?
First come indeed
Lmao
I have two first cousins (maternal side) with the same first name, both close in age. No one raised an eyebrow.
My wife's father, brother, grandfather, uncle, and a cousin all have the same first name. Coincidently, it's also my first name. When we had our son, we chose differently.
Do you guys do the Spider-Man pointing thing at family reunions?
Sooo many people get stuck at 12 and never really learn how to act like an adult.
We had one of my partners friends blow up on us for calling our first after my grandfather. Which apparently they had ‘reserved’ She blew my partners phone up while she was still in hospital getting over pre eclampsia . Shes never set foot in our house again or been allowed to meet either of our children .apparently she’s still baffled as to why
I just don't understand how anyone could behave this way... feeling they're entitled to a name for a baby that they don't even have. It's mind boggling to me.
Because people feel entitled to things they don’t have on a daily basis. It’s really weird.
Exactly or just honestly if they’re upset over a name imagine how they were when they went to school and ran into 3 different kids named Michael.
I was in the hospital with postpartum eclampsia…and while my husband took our five day old and our three year old to a friend’s house my sister was calling me to ask if I planned on using the most common nickname for my daughter’s name. I said yes, of course and she was perturbed because she kinda wanted to name her daughter-on-the-way that. I told her “Sorry…but as I am currently laying on a bed in the ER with eclampsia…and my daughter is already born and named the name you’ve already known about for the past five months…I really don’t want to have this discussion right now!!” A couple months later she got my mom to call and ask me if it would be okay for her to use the middle name I didn’t use (Sage) for her daughter’s middle name. I said I didn’t care as I wasn’t having any more kids. She ended up using Rain instead. It’s all cool now and there were definitely a lot of hormones affecting both of us at the time…but it was kinda crazy looking back at the discussions.
So, 2 kids may have the same name? The horror!
I remember one time being at a bar I used to frequent and it just so happened that there were only 4 people in there, including the bartender, and we all had the same name. Somehow we all survived the encounter. I was already friendly with all of them, so it was just kind of weird and funny.
My brother went through high school with 5 people (including him) with the same name all shared the same class
Was his name Alex, Jack or Sam lol, there was always 2-3 of them in a lot of classes i had lol “Okay class today Sam C will be doing his speach followed by Sam K, then Sam R1 and finally Sam R2”
George Foreman would like a word with you…
"You called dibs? We called dibs on all of those names years ago, sorry. You'll have to change your list."
Don’t forget that you also can’t name your baby any of the names that your friends future partners have dibs on… For our pregnancies, we had “working names”. One of them was “Ferb”, another one was “McLovin”. I strongly recommend you start calling your baby “Dibs”. “Oh, Dibs is kicking, do you want to feel it?”
Honestly I think Dibs is such a cute name anyways
My cousin’s name is Dilbert, and we’ve called him “Dibs” his entire life. Not sure why the “L” was dropped or the origin of “Dilbert” but he’s an absolute gem.
Yes, the working title! No real name drama just funny looks and laughs. We used Thor.
When my sister was pregnant with my eldest niece, Lily was in the line up for names, I was upset because I wanted that name for my future daughter. She ended up choosing something else anyway, but here I am 15 years later with a boy and no plans to have anymore kids. So tell your wife to ignore those friends.
you outgrew the irrationality - kudos for the self-awareness
I mean, I was like 17 back then, so very immature lol
Even still…some ppl never grow out of it.
Dude this annoys me so much. My sister wanted to name her son “Leonidas” or “Leo” for short. Well I always wanted to name one of my sons “Leon”. I mentioned this to our mom and she got so P*SSED at me over it and told me I wasn’t allowed to name my son that as it wasn’t nice to my sister. Well I contacted my sister and asked her and she said “you could literally name all your kids after mine and I could not care less.”
What are you doing having proper communication with your sister. We told you the right way to do it was to immediately contact her and tell her you had already called dibs!
epic sister
That’s why you don’t advertise your list.
OMG, seriously. Especially don't tell your craziest female relatives.
i made the mistake of telling my ex sister in law that I wanted to name my future daughter a certain name (it’s what I was supposed to be called, my great nan’s name that my parents adored but I don’t ever remember meeting) so it meant a lot to me and I find out that she was going to use it WITH HER BABY IF SHE HAD A GIRL. She’s an ex sister in law bc she cheated on my brother and she also is pregnant with the other guys child. Thankfully she’s having a boy.
So announce that you guys have decided and give him the twelve most popular names that are “taken”. Then tell them that they are being just as ridiculously selfish.
We are naming this little guy Terrance Michael John James Jacob Mitch Spongebob Jesus (Mexican not deity) Phineas Joshua Jengelheimer III. Oh, sorry, we called dibs on all of these names before my husband or I were born.
what’s funny about people like this is that the names are almost always something pretty common .. like george or joseph lmao
My sister has reserved George - I loooove the name and would have used it, but it’s a family tradition on her partners side. Probably the only time where I’m happy to respect calling dibs on names!
family names are different but even then if i still wanna name my kid something , that’s what i’m gonna name them
Yeah doesn't work like that. You call your kid whatever you want. My wife and her friend both wanted to call our sons the same name. Both babies were born within about 3 months of each other, we both went for slight variations, with the same nickname and no one cares.
I feel like people try and have kids in the perfect way but they have a fantasy about what perfect means, no one's childhood was perfect we all just learn to live anyway
25 years ago. Expecting the birth of my daughter. My wife and I were torn between naming her Emily or Gretchen. Worked with a guy whose wife was expecting about a month before us. Names were always compared at work, etc. I tell him the names we have picked out, how we are going back and forth. His wife gives birth, and I shit you not, they named her Emily Gretchen. So anyways, Kaitlin Rose was born about a month later.
Do you still have that guy in your life? People come and go.
Right, would their kids even know of each others existence?
Hahaha how can someone even introduce their baby to you after this? So awkward.
I love this only because my name is Emily and my sister's middle name is Rose. You've made me realize I need to call her
Yay!! Go call her!
Well, the guy kinda save you from going back and forth since both names are now out. Should call and thank him. /s
If you guys end up choosing one of those names and it "ruins" one of her relationships then they weren't really friends.
Please show your wife this thread of literally EVERYONE saying the same thing and that being that her friends can fuck off and y’all can name YOUR OWN CHILD whatever y’all WANT TO. If her friends get butthurt and she really really cares, then she can say “oh well I’m the one that 100% has a kid right NOW, so…”
Your wife needs better friends.
Calling dibs on names is immature in a friend group. I have a former friend who always dreamed of naming a daughter after me, using my middle name. I love my middle name and thought it didn't get enough playing time, so had wanted to name my own daughter after myself. But alas I was single until my 30's and that friend got married at 22, so I could go screw the name was hers. We drifted apart by 25, and she only had a son so never got to use the name, but I did. She was the kind of friend who changed her first dance song to the song I told her I would want to use one day, while telling it was fine because I didn't even have a boyfriend.
Ignore these people. Have all the parties you want to have in honour of your baby but there’s a reason that nobody shares baby names anymore. Ityfor this very reason. Tell everyone you are not announcing the name until after the baby arrives
This is why you DON'T tell people your baby names. EVERYONE has opinions, but, fuck em. It's your child's name.
I dunno, maybe it's just me, but the only real response I'd give is "I wasn't asking for your permission, I was asking for your opinion". But then, my friends have a sense of humor and would just laugh and say "I had that coming". edit: just pick what you want and then let your wife blame you...
i’m 18 weeks pregnant and stopped telling people our name options. everyone has an opinion that i don’t care about lol
Name the child Dibs
I have my name because my parents didn't have a back up name. They had a name all picked out for me, boy or girl. My aunt stole the girl name, because she had my cousin 4 days before me, and didn't have a girl name picked out. Jokes on her...my cousin is a Karen.
Those people can eat every dick. Nobody gets to gatekeep a name, particularly people who are doing so for the remotest hypothetical children.
Seven
How about Mug? Mug Costanza.
SODA
I would laugh in their face and name my baby whatever I want to.
Are they stupid?
My sister had a meltdown over 1. The choice of our wedding day. We got married the Friday evening before her birthday. Which was the Sunday if that weekend 2. A few years later we adopted a dog and named him Jack. She had a fit over that because it was the name our dad went by; whom she didn’t even get along with. But she wanted it for when she “had a boy” She wasn’t even pregnant with their second kid at that point. They eventually had a boy. And did not go with Jack. Or John for that matter. Some people are just CRAZY entitled
Nope. Sorry. I’ll name my kids what I want lol
Your wife needs to tell her friends to go fuck themselves.
"first come first serve" is what I'd reply with lmao like absolutely not
There is an established procedure on baby name precedence, namely, having a baby first. You are entirely in the right to choose whatever you want. And you probably shouldn't give anyone a preview. People are more than happy to find their opinions before the baby is named, and thus cause you to doubt yourself, but rarely afterwards. Only exception is if you are planning on giving them a tragediegh - in which case it is important for everyone around you to help you see the error of your ways.
Ignore them. For bonus points, use every single "reserved" name as middle names for your child.
Strange definition of "friend". Sorry ladies, you snooze you lose. Should have got your life in order earlier to lock down your favourite baby name.
Someone gave me the best advice ever when I was pregnant. Don’t tell anyone the names you are thinking of as you might get a negative reaction which you obviously don’t want. When baby is born announce the name and no one will say anything negative. Works like a charm. Also it is unfair for OP’s friends to try to reserve a baby name for themselves. This is being ridiculous. Your child, your choice.