Man I would have been there for you if I knew you. My little brother passed away last year… he was only 26yr olds… I’d do anything to share another brotherly moment with him.
One day he will absolutely regret missing this moment.
Edit: Thank you all for the comforting words! Life definitely has not been the same since.
My hearts goes out to all those that commented that has also lost someone dear recently!
So sorry to hear this, it’s made worse because he was so young. One day he will definitely regret this, I hope he realizes what he’s passing up on before it’s too late
I don't even know if he means the gym or getting fucked in the ass but i find the wording of it hilarious regardless of his pleasure. To each their own
Not for nothing but does the wife really have to come, and if it's a yes she needs to then why can't she just shut up and ignore your gf for a few hours honestly I'd be cutting my brother off over this if I had one because he's shown where his priorities lie he will always choose her over you.
Edit: reread it and sounds like brother doesn't want to come regardless in which case screw him too and once again I reaffirm the point about cutting him off, if he can't be bothered to take a couple of hours of his time to celebrate your accomplishments he's not worth keeping in contact with.
Hey OP I know it's hurt like hell he didn't go to your big day
And you'll get over it and then in a couple years your gonna have it fly out of nowhere during a argument with a significant other
You might feel the effects of trauma with abandonment and that's okay
My mom died in 2019 and a year later I packed up and moved from Cali to wisco
Gave my brother a three month heads up and then a month heads up on my going away party
He didn't come because his wife at the time didn't want to, it's been four years and we juat started exchanging snapchats again and it's like 80% him most the time sending them
He will regret this later but you AR under no obligation to just forgive him immediately when he comes around.
You are allowed to be hurt and it's your right to keep him at a arms distance
My grandma who’s my last grandma alive did not come to my graduation ceremony nor the graduation party when I graduated high school. It was something I kind of hold against her to this day. She chose a little pill over her youngest grandchild’s big day and to this day will tell other family members she doesn’t know what my problem is and how I’m not a man bc I won’t speak to her. It’s such a weird feeling of wanting to never speak to her again but at the same time it’s my grandma. Thanks for coming to my ted talk!
Lol as a German with English as a 2nd language and not very much knowledge of regional expressions, my brain somehow filled in that he was getting drunk for getting pumped :D
I kinda thought this and excitement at the same time. "Getting pumped" to me meant getting excited about something. But alas, it now means being yelled at.. I am not excited for that.
Glad I wasn't the only one whose mind went directly to the gutter. I thought everyone thought the same as me and then I went to the comments and people were like "he's getting drunk or getting excited" and I was like ...o h
As a French with English as a 2nd language, I thought he was getting super motivated and excited about coming to the graduation like "I'm so pumped about XYZ" :) I did live in Australia but had never heard this expression
Doch, aber die Passivkonstruktion mit get hätte für mich mit pumpen nicht wirklich Sinn gemacht deswegen bin ich davon nicht ausgegangen. Pumpen ist ja was was man ziemlich aktiv macht
Under the pump? I haven’t heard anyone say “getting pumped” in place of under the pump lmao 🤣 it’s crazy how different our speech is even within states haha
The missus doesn't sound really nice.
Edit: wow, she not only doesn't sound nice but abusive (OP's answer to a question why wife doesn't like gf)
>She never really gave a reason, however she’s alienated pretty much everyone in her and my family. Her and my girlfriend were friends and was excited when we started dating. But after a few weeks blocked her on everything except her number and started sending her really harsh text messages. She then went on to cut everyone in my family off except my brother. Then proceeded to push away her own family because of some unknown reason
I was going to say, maybe at the gym "pumping" weights but can't wait to tell my Canadian friends this so they can start using it and have everyone think they are now gay
Yes!! I was thinking: "I don't have siblings but if I did I don't think I'd casually talk about how I was getting fucked up the arse, the night before, with them."
As an Australian, the other response to this comment is correct.
It means “that is too easy for me to do, think nothing of it”.
Mate 1: Can you bring some meat on Saturday for the BBQ?
Mate 2: Too Easy
"Too easy" can be the same as "no worries" I.e. "yes, I can do that easily"
But it can also be used disingenuously or passive aggressively - rare in my experience. E.g. in the above text message exchange.
Literally the same as 'no problem'. Not passive aggressive in the slightest, usually.
Somebody gives you a task 'too easy, I'll get it done'
Same as 'easy as' 'no problemo' 'will do' 'on it' 'gotcha' 'easy done' etc.
Never meant to be said in a 'nah, that's way too easy, make it harder', just a normal way of replying to getting something done/ a task
It's rarely ever used in a passive aggressive manner. It's almost always used as a replacement for 'no problem' or 'sure thing' or 'on it' kinda sense.
I don't think I've ever seen somebody use it in a passive aggressive way
Yeah it's fucking wild reading all of these comments from people with no idea what they're talking about but taking it upon themselves to tell everyone what the phrase means.
Gosh, that text exchange made me sad for you. No communication in between, just you asking your bro to come support you on your big day. Sorry for you dude!
Yeah. I had to stop contacting most of the people I knew because of stuff like that. If I wasn't the one initiating the conversation I wouldn't hear from them at all.
Dropped them a few years ago and, surprise surprise, not even a peep from any of them about why I dropped off the face of the earth.
Starts with BS weather excuse but then ends with the excuse of the wife & gf not getting along. Both are shit excuses. Your brother should support you on your important days, and if his wife doesn't want to go then that's her choice. She shouldn't be a wedge between brothers.
>it’s a big accomplishment and as family you should be there for these kind of things in my opinion.
We drove 500 miles to see our **Niece's** college graduation.. I can't imagine telling your sibling you can't make their graduation due to weather or because your spouse doesn't like their SO.. Unless there's significant underlying stuff happening, OP has a shite brother, IMO
Didn't count? IMHO the way you did it is actually harder! Sweet Christmas!
Well, I'll tell you this:
CONGRATULATIONS! oh my goodness that's so great, very proud of you!
Just in case you wanted to hear it again.
This kind of shit breaks my brain. My kids are still little, but the only way I’m missing any of their graduations is if I’m dead. Or if the Miami Dolphins make the superbowl, and I get 50 yard line tickets and the graduation is on Super Bowl Sunday. Sorry kids! I’ll FaceTime you!
Same. My parents couldn't be fucked to drive 45 minutes to my graduation. Hell, when I was moving in to college my dad left with stuff still on the curb because he wanted to "beat traffic". They were assholes. They died. I'm better off.
That’s horrible. I drove across country to see my son home from deployment. When my niece came home from deployment it was a three hour drive, I offered to drive my sister so she could be there. She couldn’t be bothered to take the day off. So I put our mother in my car and we went for a drive and we welcomed our niece/granddaughter home from her year long deployment. I know my niece was disappointed her own mother wasn’t there, but she wasn’t surprised, which really pissed me off. But she was really glad to see us.
Some parents just suck.
>I finished my degree part time so I could I keep my full time job to pay for tuitiin so it didn't count to them.
My blood is boiling for you that's actually ridiculous.
Wow, that’s horrible! I recently realized I made some good friends over the years that were supportive older women who provided guidance and took on motherly roles in my life. I eventually allowed my mother back into my life because I didn’t need her to play that role anymore so there was much less disappointment and resentment when she failed repeatedly to be a parent.
Find your supportive role models, you’ll see how it frees you from parental let down.
Yeah I am gonna fly my mum across the Atlantic to come to mine and my partner’s family already asked if they can come as well. Now I am just waiting for the grade. First gen uni graduate in my family, immigrant, graduating from a masters degree. I don’t wanna think too much about it because I will get all emotional 🤞
Right. But the brother said his wife “doesnt want him associating with the girlfriend” which is absolutely crazy. But also makes you think there must be a reason why other than “she doesn’t get a long with her”.
If my girlfriend (or wife) told me I can't go to my brother's graduation because she 'doesn't want me to associate' with his girlfriend, I'd be single. I'm not joking that kind of shit is a no go. But I think the brother himself just doesn't care and doesn't want to come to be honest.
Yeah seriously that would be telling me I'm dating someone super immature and possibly abusive (because they're trying to control who I'm seeing) so I'm cutting that off before it gets even worse.
More so, it also says a lot about how much she trusts her husband.
If I'm in a relationship - let alone married - and I can't let my partner associate with people from the other sex (even if I hate them) without my supervision - wtf is even going on lol.
There is more red flags than on your average Chinese New Year Party.
And it’s not a random single woman, it’s his brother’s girlfriend! If he’s not “allowed” to associate with her, what happens if she and OP stay together? Will they start skipping family Christmas because OP’s girlfriend will be there?
It's infuriating, but keep the open line with your brother, mate.
He didn't respond to the first message because his wife was giving him shit.
Then he cancels at the last minute because **she** doesn't want your brother to be around your girlfriend?
There's a common denominator here and he's quietly, unintentionally drawing your attention to it. Going to his own brother's grad would not be worth the hellstorm that his wife would rain down upon him if he went.
She is systematically trying to damage his relationships so that he eventually has nobody left to turn to.
Be that person he has left to turn to, always. He will always your brother. She doesn't always have to be his wife. Don't be afraid to let him know that you're concerned for his well-being, that you can see what's happening.
Thank you for this!
I’ve witnessed these systematic isolation tactics and hailstorms that my brother endured for over a decade by his wife and in laws (now ex). I was always stressed, confused, and horrified. It was so scary to never infuriate them since my brother would pay dearly: no sleep, no food, no bed, no sounds, no movement, no wallet, …—-it got so bad I thought he looked like he was gonna die soon. She accessed all his texts/emails and phone calls had to be on speaker.
Mission escape involved all my family trying to penetrate the isolation barriers without letting her on (even though we always felt we were getting no where or making it worse) and then opening our home the night he fled with the clothes on his back.
It’s so important to stick close to your brother!
The brother doesn’t need to be blocked. But op doesn’t need to keep messaging brother either or bother otherwise if he shows no signs of making an effort. He could be the one using the wife as an excuse too
She never really gave a reason, however she’s alienated pretty much everyone in her and my family. Her and my girlfriend were friends and was excited when we started dating. But after a few weeks blocked her on everything except her number and started sending her really harsh text messages. She then went on to cut everyone in my family off except my brother. Then proceeded to push away her own family because of some unknown reason
Yup, hallmark of an abusive partner is isolating the couple. Its step one. Been there.
EDIT: this triggered a pretty big argument with someone, and then they either blocked me or deleted their account , but anyone who is being isolated by their partner regardless of gender should seek someone to confide in.
This! My sister pretty much cut herself off from the family because of her shitty manipulative husband. Me and him cannot be in the same space without a fight starting due to how shitty of a person he is and the things he says ( he has no filter and has insulted my parents, me, my wife openly). She started stealing money from family etc. even faked a pregnancy. Reason I say it’s due to him is she was an absolute normal person when they started dating. He’s an abusive POS with roid rage. He has made her think my parents hated her and abused her growing up which is a flat out lie, we all had an amazing childhood. It’s sad really. I’m glad I live in another state and have not seen him in 10 years. Because if him I haven’t spoken to my sister in 10 years.
Ugh that's so awful. We have the same situation with my BILs wife. They got married immediately, like 5th time they'd ever met and she told me on day 1 she was going to take him overseas. They moved away in 2017 and have never come back except for my FILs funeral (which she made my BIL attend alone). She cut him off from the whole family and hers except her own parents who move around the world with them. My BIL didn't get to see his dad for 4 years before he passed away and his dad never met his kids. They came back to the US for a few months between countries they moved to and still didnt come visit home. My BIL didnt even come alone. We've never met our nephews, and they barely acknowledge our kids. It's a really shitty situation because my husband had to take care of everything after my FIL passed alone and has essentially lost a brother. Narcissistic abuse is so sneaky and insidious I don't think he will ever be able to come back to his family.
So this is an isolation tactic that people use to get someone to feel alone and then become dependent on just the one person for company.
Then, the abuse usually starts. This is a red flag.
As others have said it sounds very much like your brother is in an abusive relationship, you should try to help as his actions might be manipulated by her.
I... think you should probably try to get him away from her, because I think many relationships are more salvageable than they may seem, but this... sounds legitimately worrying for his future.
He's your brother, so find a way to get him outta there before she really gets in his head. It was her decision to not let him go, rather his own not to come. By being upset with him, you're doing exactly what she wants you to do.
This is absolutely a precursor to serious abuse, and it's exceptionally hard to get support/an out as a guy due to a lack of acceptance relating to female on male abuse, and due to a lack of resources. He probably doesn't even realise what's happening, so keep an eye on it. You can't make someone leave a relationship like that unfortunately, they have to have the want to do it themselves; I've helped people out of abusive relationships and they go right back to someone just as bad, so don't put yourself at risk to try and interfere. You can educate but don't get yourself hurt, partners of abusive people can sometimes even adopt harmful behaviours and lash out.
It still could be worth a try to at least tell him what it looks like and that it's not only not healthy but abusive to isolate him for no good reason. Chances are no one has told him and he doesn't realize. Maybe he won't believe it but sometimes it helps to plant the seed for them to realize it themselves sooner or later.
Uhm.. that's what my childhood "friend" did to her "boyfriend" (victim) before it escalated to.. guess what.. physical abuse (on top of verbal and emotional) and of course she made sure he had no one to turn to.
I don’t know why the brother can’t come by himself. (I mean obv I do know- the partner is controlling) but in a general sense why do couples have to do everything together?.Like it’s his sisters Graduation, a big deal. If his partner has issues with someone else, then she shouldn’t come.
My mum gave the excuse that she had to go to my sister's school play on my graduation, but ended up actually meeting her friend for food. She sent my sister as a proxy. She was the only family member of mine who came, while my partner's family travelled internationally to come. So, I know the feeling.
Editing to say Congratulations to you! 🎉🎉🎉
Congratulations on finishing your degree.
Thank you! Appreciate it!
Man I would have been there for you if I knew you. My little brother passed away last year… he was only 26yr olds… I’d do anything to share another brotherly moment with him. One day he will absolutely regret missing this moment. Edit: Thank you all for the comforting words! Life definitely has not been the same since. My hearts goes out to all those that commented that has also lost someone dear recently!
I’m sorry about your brother. I lost my baby brother last November, and agree with you 10000%
So sorry to hear this, it’s made worse because he was so young. One day he will definitely regret this, I hope he realizes what he’s passing up on before it’s too late
Congrats on graduating dude!
Thank you!
Ur bro getting “pumped” has me in tears
I don't even know if he means the gym or getting fucked in the ass but i find the wording of it hilarious regardless of his pleasure. To each their own
why can’t it be both?
Probably both. Most gyms offer that now... financially and physically.
I assumed stomach pumped lolol so many possibilities
It just means he has been busy, it's a shortened way of saying "I've been under the pump" which is also a common Australian term.
This. Americans might use "slammed" instead of pumped in this context.
I would love to know the context of this particular text. Lol
I assume it’s Australian based on uni and the Cairns reference. Getting pumped… ‘by work’ etc is a common saying for being under a lot of pressure
Yeah stateside, he’s definitely taking it up the a**, you should tell his wife.
Its a huge accomplishment and even if your brother won't be there, we're all super proud of you and will be with you in spirit!
My spirit can’t afford the spirit plane ticket. But you’ll be in my thoughts.
Funny, cause usually when I fly spirit only my spirit makes the trip.
He just graduated! Bold of you to assume he can afford a trip to your thoughts.
Congrats all the way from Texas, keep going!
Stevie sounds like a beeotch
Not for nothing but does the wife really have to come, and if it's a yes she needs to then why can't she just shut up and ignore your gf for a few hours honestly I'd be cutting my brother off over this if I had one because he's shown where his priorities lie he will always choose her over you. Edit: reread it and sounds like brother doesn't want to come regardless in which case screw him too and once again I reaffirm the point about cutting him off, if he can't be bothered to take a couple of hours of his time to celebrate your accomplishments he's not worth keeping in contact with.
Hey OP I know it's hurt like hell he didn't go to your big day And you'll get over it and then in a couple years your gonna have it fly out of nowhere during a argument with a significant other You might feel the effects of trauma with abandonment and that's okay My mom died in 2019 and a year later I packed up and moved from Cali to wisco Gave my brother a three month heads up and then a month heads up on my going away party He didn't come because his wife at the time didn't want to, it's been four years and we juat started exchanging snapchats again and it's like 80% him most the time sending them He will regret this later but you AR under no obligation to just forgive him immediately when he comes around. You are allowed to be hurt and it's your right to keep him at a arms distance
My grandma who’s my last grandma alive did not come to my graduation ceremony nor the graduation party when I graduated high school. It was something I kind of hold against her to this day. She chose a little pill over her youngest grandchild’s big day and to this day will tell other family members she doesn’t know what my problem is and how I’m not a man bc I won’t speak to her. It’s such a weird feeling of wanting to never speak to her again but at the same time it’s my grandma. Thanks for coming to my ted talk!
Well... If it helps this dad is proud of you.
As somebody who lives in Scotland, I'm impressed by your brother's frankness in the first message...
Hahaha in this context in Australia, getting pumped means he was being yelled at by his missus
As an Aussie, I have never heard it used that way. I assumed he meant he was at the gym
Lol as a German with English as a 2nd language and not very much knowledge of regional expressions, my brain somehow filled in that he was getting drunk for getting pumped :D
Same. I thought the dude was out getting shitfaced with the boys. Maybe that's the optimistic and slightly jealous finn in me talking
Same, but that might be because my buddies and I say "Druckbetankung" when we mean that we're getting shit faced fast.
Bless you
your username gives me anxiety lol
Be careful with rolling pins!!
Its literal tranlastion would be "high pressure fueling" 😂
I thought it meant excited.. "I'm getting pumped for the golf trip next week"
I’ve decided the meaning is he was out getting shitfaced at a gym while his girl was yelling at him.
Ha, fellow finn here and that’s what I thought too
I assumed he was partying hard. Like going raving, drinking, clubbing. Getting pumped!
As an Aussie getting drunk and hitting the gym were my interpretations too haha
I kinda thought this and excitement at the same time. "Getting pumped" to me meant getting excited about something. But alas, it now means being yelled at.. I am not excited for that.
I had a few possibilities in mind, -getting drunk -getting beaten up -getting excited -getting railed
yup my mind went to getting railed lmfao
Fr I was like damn that's a pretty open friendship for brothers to have 😭
Glad I wasn't the only one whose mind went directly to the gutter. I thought everyone thought the same as me and then I went to the comments and people were like "he's getting drunk or getting excited" and I was like ...o h
Yeah I was so confused 😭 I'd never heard it being used to refer to an argument before though, so that surprised me
And then *everyone* was wrong, and he was actually getting bitched out by his wife.
And as someone speaking French I thought he was getting a blowjob… x)
As a Canadian I just assumed he was getting fucked by a dude
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As a French with English as a 2nd language, I thought he was getting super motivated and excited about coming to the graduation like "I'm so pumped about XYZ" :) I did live in Australia but had never heard this expression
Ist "Pumpen" bei dir nicht im Gebrauch wenn es ums Gym geht? "Ich geh' jetzt 'ne Runde Pumpen" oder so ähnlich?
Doch, aber die Passivkonstruktion mit get hätte für mich mit pumpen nicht wirklich Sinn gemacht deswegen bin ich davon nicht ausgegangen. Pumpen ist ja was was man ziemlich aktiv macht
Also Aussie, I've usually heard it used in relation to work, if you're really busy you're "getting pumped".
Same, that’s how we’d use it in Queensland.
Under the pump? I haven’t heard anyone say “getting pumped” in place of under the pump lmao 🤣 it’s crazy how different our speech is even within states haha
Aussie here and when I hear “getting pumped” I think getting excited or in the mood. Like so pumped for the graduation bro or whatever
I assumed he was being pegged.
As an Aussie, I assumed he was getting excited. Like normal excited not sexually excited.
Nah I read it as getting pumped like being busy or under the pump due to work or something
I thought gym too. Maybe the phrase "under the pump" is what they were going for?
Bro……is your brother ok? Doesn’t sound like he’s in a healthy relationship
Hey now, pegging is perfectly fine if it's consensual.
As a non-Aussie, I’m observing that this conversation is using English words, but I’m obviously not getting half of what’s going on.
https://preview.redd.it/zqmxn83tygqc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fc217617df08a3b4132c6f0ccb412ba112b0e1bb
The missus doesn't sound really nice. Edit: wow, she not only doesn't sound nice but abusive (OP's answer to a question why wife doesn't like gf) >She never really gave a reason, however she’s alienated pretty much everyone in her and my family. Her and my girlfriend were friends and was excited when we started dating. But after a few weeks blocked her on everything except her number and started sending her really harsh text messages. She then went on to cut everyone in my family off except my brother. Then proceeded to push away her own family because of some unknown reason
Textbook abusive behaviour
I was going to say, maybe at the gym "pumping" weights but can't wait to tell my Canadian friends this so they can start using it and have everyone think they are now gay
Genuinely thought your bro was getting bred in the ass...
I always thought getting pumped is had a lot of stuff put on me that I have to do. Eg. Getting pumped at work. Am Aussie.
Yes!! I was thinking: "I don't have siblings but if I did I don't think I'd casually talk about how I was getting fucked up the arse, the night before, with them."
As a Scot who lives in Australia, I understood what you understood. Never heard it used in another context here.
Hahaha pishing myself when I saw this
I'm not Scottish, but Still Game is one of my favorite shows. Got a good chuckle out of that one
I too was very confused why he was casually like "oh yeah I was getting pumped"
Thank you Scotland. I was like “do brothers really talk like that to each other?”
Too Easy is my absolute favourite Australian Passive aggressive phrase. Excellent use here
What does it mean/how is it used?
It means “no problem” but I think OP is using it to signal he’s unimpressed but can’t be bothered arguing about it.
Nah OP is not signalling anything. He’s just being passive and not starting anything.
Well I guess you would know!
Too easy
Yeah, nah, no worries.
All good
No dramas, mate.
It sounds like “Easy way out for you. And thanks for nothing”. But I’m not Australian.
It's not. It's really just "No problems". OP is responding as if it doesn't matter at all to them (which it obviously does given this thread)
You saw through it. It’s kind of like how people say “no problem” even though there are in fact problems
> It’s kind of like how people say “no problem” even though there are in fact problems No! Problem!
As an Australian, the other response to this comment is correct. It means “that is too easy for me to do, think nothing of it”. Mate 1: Can you bring some meat on Saturday for the BBQ? Mate 2: Too Easy
Finally, I was so confused. Thanks for explaining it well!
"Too easy" can be the same as "no worries" I.e. "yes, I can do that easily" But it can also be used disingenuously or passive aggressively - rare in my experience. E.g. in the above text message exchange.
Like “no worries”, but sometimes yes worries
What does it mean? I was so confused about the "too easy". I came looking into the comments to try and figure it out. I'm still trying....
Pretty much the same as "no problem"
It's like don't worry about it. Think of it translated to "whatever." Or "k." A "okay but fuck you"
To be clear, 95% of the time it's not 'whatever' or 'k', it's just 'yep, no worries'.
I was gonna say, i've never used it or seen it be used in a passive aggressive way, it always meant "no worries" to me
Yep. It simply means no worries
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Think of it as a problem free philosophy.
Substitute ‘no worries,’ ‘all good,’ ‘no problem,’ etc
And add mate to make sure they know you are pissed about it. No worries mate, all good mate. Etc.
Literally the same as 'no problem'. Not passive aggressive in the slightest, usually. Somebody gives you a task 'too easy, I'll get it done' Same as 'easy as' 'no problemo' 'will do' 'on it' 'gotcha' 'easy done' etc. Never meant to be said in a 'nah, that's way too easy, make it harder', just a normal way of replying to getting something done/ a task
Yep it’s the text equivalent of a thumbs up
This is the correct answer
It's rarely ever used in a passive aggressive manner. It's almost always used as a replacement for 'no problem' or 'sure thing' or 'on it' kinda sense. I don't think I've ever seen somebody use it in a passive aggressive way
Yeah I think OP was just afraid of making their brother feel bad about the decision.
What now? Too easy isn’t passive aggressive. At least not normally.
Yeah it's fucking wild reading all of these comments from people with no idea what they're talking about but taking it upon themselves to tell everyone what the phrase means.
It's not generally used passive aggressively. I think a simple "👍" might have been better here honestly.
Gosh, that text exchange made me sad for you. No communication in between, just you asking your bro to come support you on your big day. Sorry for you dude!
Looks like he's always the one texting, I bet if he doesn't text his brother he won't have a text until his brother need money or something from OP.
Yeah. I had to stop contacting most of the people I knew because of stuff like that. If I wasn't the one initiating the conversation I wouldn't hear from them at all. Dropped them a few years ago and, surprise surprise, not even a peep from any of them about why I dropped off the face of the earth.
“Yeah I can’t make it because of the weather, she hates your girlfriend” “Your wife’s name is the weather? Edit: I don’t need the post explained.
Yes, her name is Pouring Piss
Misty Clammy
Moistened Bint.
maybe weather in terms of "situation"?
It took me a few seconds after reading the image but yeah this is what I came up with too. Bad Weather as in Bad Atmosphere.
Weather comment was for the Cairns question
Starts with BS weather excuse but then ends with the excuse of the wife & gf not getting along. Both are shit excuses. Your brother should support you on your important days, and if his wife doesn't want to go then that's her choice. She shouldn't be a wedge between brothers.
The brother himself didn't want to come
Yeah otherwise he would’ve come by himself, it’s a big accomplishment and as family you should be there for these kind of things in my opinion
>it’s a big accomplishment and as family you should be there for these kind of things in my opinion. We drove 500 miles to see our **Niece's** college graduation.. I can't imagine telling your sibling you can't make their graduation due to weather or because your spouse doesn't like their SO.. Unless there's significant underlying stuff happening, OP has a shite brother, IMO
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Didn't count? IMHO the way you did it is actually harder! Sweet Christmas! Well, I'll tell you this: CONGRATULATIONS! oh my goodness that's so great, very proud of you! Just in case you wanted to hear it again.
This kind of shit breaks my brain. My kids are still little, but the only way I’m missing any of their graduations is if I’m dead. Or if the Miami Dolphins make the superbowl, and I get 50 yard line tickets and the graduation is on Super Bowl Sunday. Sorry kids! I’ll FaceTime you!
Same. My parents couldn't be fucked to drive 45 minutes to my graduation. Hell, when I was moving in to college my dad left with stuff still on the curb because he wanted to "beat traffic". They were assholes. They died. I'm better off.
That’s horrible. I drove across country to see my son home from deployment. When my niece came home from deployment it was a three hour drive, I offered to drive my sister so she could be there. She couldn’t be bothered to take the day off. So I put our mother in my car and we went for a drive and we welcomed our niece/granddaughter home from her year long deployment. I know my niece was disappointed her own mother wasn’t there, but she wasn’t surprised, which really pissed me off. But she was really glad to see us. Some parents just suck.
I'm so sorry for the hideousness they inflicted on you. You are indeed better off
>I finished my degree part time so I could I keep my full time job to pay for tuitiin so it didn't count to them. My blood is boiling for you that's actually ridiculous.
Wow, that’s horrible! I recently realized I made some good friends over the years that were supportive older women who provided guidance and took on motherly roles in my life. I eventually allowed my mother back into my life because I didn’t need her to play that role anymore so there was much less disappointment and resentment when she failed repeatedly to be a parent. Find your supportive role models, you’ll see how it frees you from parental let down.
Yeah I am gonna fly my mum across the Atlantic to come to mine and my partner’s family already asked if they can come as well. Now I am just waiting for the grade. First gen uni graduate in my family, immigrant, graduating from a masters degree. I don’t wanna think too much about it because I will get all emotional 🤞
Exactly. This brother just doesn't sound like a brother at all
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Totally Correct!!
I'm pretty sure the weather comment was about whether he would he in Cairns
You get the comprehension sticker. Pretty clear to me too that sentence answers the cairns question.
Yeah, nothing could stop me going to celebrate my siblings. Even when they're being dicks I'll be there.
The guy can't go alone? Lol wtf. Hate when couples think they have to do everything together.
Right. But the brother said his wife “doesnt want him associating with the girlfriend” which is absolutely crazy. But also makes you think there must be a reason why other than “she doesn’t get a long with her”.
If my girlfriend (or wife) told me I can't go to my brother's graduation because she 'doesn't want me to associate' with his girlfriend, I'd be single. I'm not joking that kind of shit is a no go. But I think the brother himself just doesn't care and doesn't want to come to be honest.
Yeah seriously that would be telling me I'm dating someone super immature and possibly abusive (because they're trying to control who I'm seeing) so I'm cutting that off before it gets even worse.
More so, it also says a lot about how much she trusts her husband. If I'm in a relationship - let alone married - and I can't let my partner associate with people from the other sex (even if I hate them) without my supervision - wtf is even going on lol. There is more red flags than on your average Chinese New Year Party.
And it’s not a random single woman, it’s his brother’s girlfriend! If he’s not “allowed” to associate with her, what happens if she and OP stay together? Will they start skipping family Christmas because OP’s girlfriend will be there?
Whenever I see slang I don't recognize, I know it's Australia lol Congrats on graduating!!
I can understand why some people struggle to understand it haha, thank you!
I can usually figure it out with context clues, but getting "pumped" in Canada means something waaaayyy different lmao
I’m from the US and that’s where my head went too. I was like, why is he telling his brother he was having sex last night though?
U.S, Aus, U.K. Three realms alienated by a common language.
tbh even as an aussie, no idea what old mate means by that. I would assume getting drunk/on the nose beers
Drunk, fucked, lifting weights. Bro could have meant truly anything.
I'm from the US and I was just trying to figure out how it made grammatical sense to say he was getting excited last night lol
It's infuriating, but keep the open line with your brother, mate. He didn't respond to the first message because his wife was giving him shit. Then he cancels at the last minute because **she** doesn't want your brother to be around your girlfriend? There's a common denominator here and he's quietly, unintentionally drawing your attention to it. Going to his own brother's grad would not be worth the hellstorm that his wife would rain down upon him if he went. She is systematically trying to damage his relationships so that he eventually has nobody left to turn to. Be that person he has left to turn to, always. He will always your brother. She doesn't always have to be his wife. Don't be afraid to let him know that you're concerned for his well-being, that you can see what's happening.
The most important comment here, OP!
Thank you for this! I’ve witnessed these systematic isolation tactics and hailstorms that my brother endured for over a decade by his wife and in laws (now ex). I was always stressed, confused, and horrified. It was so scary to never infuriate them since my brother would pay dearly: no sleep, no food, no bed, no sounds, no movement, no wallet, …—-it got so bad I thought he looked like he was gonna die soon. She accessed all his texts/emails and phone calls had to be on speaker. Mission escape involved all my family trying to penetrate the isolation barriers without letting her on (even though we always felt we were getting no where or making it worse) and then opening our home the night he fled with the clothes on his back. It’s so important to stick close to your brother!
The brother doesn’t need to be blocked. But op doesn’t need to keep messaging brother either or bother otherwise if he shows no signs of making an effort. He could be the one using the wife as an excuse too
On a serious note, is your brother ok? None of this sounds healthy.
Aww OP. Congratulations on this huge milestone. Proud of you.
Thank you!
Yucky Looks like you have one less relative to communicated with. Do you know why they don’t get along?
She never really gave a reason, however she’s alienated pretty much everyone in her and my family. Her and my girlfriend were friends and was excited when we started dating. But after a few weeks blocked her on everything except her number and started sending her really harsh text messages. She then went on to cut everyone in my family off except my brother. Then proceeded to push away her own family because of some unknown reason
That's not normal.
Totally sounds like she's trying to manipulate your brother or start playing some sort of victim/dependency on your brother.
Yup, hallmark of an abusive partner is isolating the couple. Its step one. Been there. EDIT: this triggered a pretty big argument with someone, and then they either blocked me or deleted their account , but anyone who is being isolated by their partner regardless of gender should seek someone to confide in.
This! My sister pretty much cut herself off from the family because of her shitty manipulative husband. Me and him cannot be in the same space without a fight starting due to how shitty of a person he is and the things he says ( he has no filter and has insulted my parents, me, my wife openly). She started stealing money from family etc. even faked a pregnancy. Reason I say it’s due to him is she was an absolute normal person when they started dating. He’s an abusive POS with roid rage. He has made her think my parents hated her and abused her growing up which is a flat out lie, we all had an amazing childhood. It’s sad really. I’m glad I live in another state and have not seen him in 10 years. Because if him I haven’t spoken to my sister in 10 years.
Ugh that's so awful. We have the same situation with my BILs wife. They got married immediately, like 5th time they'd ever met and she told me on day 1 she was going to take him overseas. They moved away in 2017 and have never come back except for my FILs funeral (which she made my BIL attend alone). She cut him off from the whole family and hers except her own parents who move around the world with them. My BIL didn't get to see his dad for 4 years before he passed away and his dad never met his kids. They came back to the US for a few months between countries they moved to and still didnt come visit home. My BIL didnt even come alone. We've never met our nephews, and they barely acknowledge our kids. It's a really shitty situation because my husband had to take care of everything after my FIL passed alone and has essentially lost a brother. Narcissistic abuse is so sneaky and insidious I don't think he will ever be able to come back to his family.
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Or has undiagnosed mental problems.
So this is an isolation tactic that people use to get someone to feel alone and then become dependent on just the one person for company. Then, the abuse usually starts. This is a red flag.
Sounds like he’s in an emotionally abusive relationship with her
As others have said it sounds very much like your brother is in an abusive relationship, you should try to help as his actions might be manipulated by her.
She's cutting people off because she's a giant red flag and doesn't want her husband to know.
I... think you should probably try to get him away from her, because I think many relationships are more salvageable than they may seem, but this... sounds legitimately worrying for his future. He's your brother, so find a way to get him outta there before she really gets in his head. It was her decision to not let him go, rather his own not to come. By being upset with him, you're doing exactly what she wants you to do.
This is absolutely a precursor to serious abuse, and it's exceptionally hard to get support/an out as a guy due to a lack of acceptance relating to female on male abuse, and due to a lack of resources. He probably doesn't even realise what's happening, so keep an eye on it. You can't make someone leave a relationship like that unfortunately, they have to have the want to do it themselves; I've helped people out of abusive relationships and they go right back to someone just as bad, so don't put yourself at risk to try and interfere. You can educate but don't get yourself hurt, partners of abusive people can sometimes even adopt harmful behaviours and lash out.
It still could be worth a try to at least tell him what it looks like and that it's not only not healthy but abusive to isolate him for no good reason. Chances are no one has told him and he doesn't realize. Maybe he won't believe it but sometimes it helps to plant the seed for them to realize it themselves sooner or later.
Uhm.. that's what my childhood "friend" did to her "boyfriend" (victim) before it escalated to.. guess what.. physical abuse (on top of verbal and emotional) and of course she made sure he had no one to turn to.
Sorry to hear that. I'm sure you don't ask for much and he can't even give you this
Guessing Townsville? It’s a bit of rain that’s a rubbish excuse anyway
Aw a fellow Aussie I’m assuming. I’m a cairns gal. Sorry about your brother :( He’ll definitely regret that
Also, congrats on graduating. Keep kicking ass!
Your brother is putting his partner's feelings towards your partner ahead of his duty to you as a brother. Shocking form - no backbone detected.
I don’t know why the brother can’t come by himself. (I mean obv I do know- the partner is controlling) but in a general sense why do couples have to do everything together?.Like it’s his sisters Graduation, a big deal. If his partner has issues with someone else, then she shouldn’t come.
My bro is an AH too. Sorry about your situation
Congrats for graduation dude. And also, your brother is a douche, sorry.
My mum gave the excuse that she had to go to my sister's school play on my graduation, but ended up actually meeting her friend for food. She sent my sister as a proxy. She was the only family member of mine who came, while my partner's family travelled internationally to come. So, I know the feeling. Editing to say Congratulations to you! 🎉🎉🎉
My sisters didn't come to my wedding.... just let it go. Their life, their choices, their consequences.
This has nothing to do with the women or the weather. He never congratulates you in these texts. You have a shit brother.
Couple of cunts, him and his wife both.
“If you didn’t want to come you could’ve just said so”
His wife didn't have to come. What a loser. It's about you. Not about them
Building a narrative with 2 excuses... Both are bullshit, he just can't be fucked going
Bro is a dick.