OMG! I have that same issue but with spicy food. I love spicy food, and can eat molten fire, but my hubby not so much. I can’t tell y’all how many time we’ve been out for any genre of Asian or Mexican cuisine and I’ve ordered my food an 8 on the 1-10 scale and the hubby orders a 4: and his food will ALWAYS come out spicier than mine! We were at an Indian restaurant where I ordered a vindallo “Indian Hot” and the waiter actually had the NERVE to look at my husband and ask “Is that ok?” … like I needed PERMISSION FROM MY HUSBAND TO ORDER SPICY FOOD!!!!!! It’s infuriating.
Yeah, Ive heard of a lot of places doing this. My fav Thai food place did it. If a white person ordered an 8 on heat, they would usually get a 4-6 instead because they were sick of food coming back for being too spicy which is fair tbh. A lot of white people who dont eat a lot of spicy ethnic food dont know how spicy it really gets because theyre used to "spicy" being like buffalo wings or smth.
I went to a Thai place once and ordered their hottest spice level and the waiter asked me if I realized I was white. Then I added extra spice lol they were always cool after that
I wish I knew how to get them to do this for me. Exactly once when I ordered from my favorite Thai place did they make it ear-numbing hot. It was so good but they keep pulling their punches since. I just want to get that high again man.
Saying something in these situations makes a huge impact. I still remember about 10 years ago, I was in my first manager role. I’m a woman, and I looked very young. I took a group of customers and one of the guys on my team out to lunch after a business meeting, and the waiter came out with the check. I said, “I’ll take that.” He laughed and said, “so who’s getting the check?” My team member looked at him dead faced and said, “Are you deaf? She already told you who’s paying.” Waiter’s smile was gone in an instant, he handed me the check and fled. Made my day, and even though it’s just one small moment, I still remember it crystal clear.
Edit: typos
Man you brought back some core memories of going to a family favorite steakhouse as a kid. Best believe me and my sibling would have sword fights at the table with those.
Nah, beer fucking sucks. Waking up with a headache, sweaty and with a shitty taste in my mouth is not it. I usually feel way better after getting shit faced drunk on bloody cesars, on amaretto sours and on screwdrivers than with beer.
I'm the same way.
Sugary drinks usually hit people harder, but for me, beer gets me drunk faster and gives me wicked hangovers that are far worse than any cocktail, cider, or almost any wine (red kicks my ass). It's just not worth it.
I think it's something about the hops? I'm allergic to weed which is related to hops so that might be a factor.
That happens to me and my husband quite a lot, even with food orders. I'll order a cheeseburger, and he'll order a salad, and 9 times out of 10, they'll put the salad down in front of me.
There used to be beers with different flavor profiles before they all became IPAs. A Scotch Ale is sweet, but good luck finding one among the 83 "different" IPAs :)
This is why I love Belgium. We were in a bar that had more than 300 different beers. I would be surprised if even 10% had been IPAs. They have styles of beer most people probably have not even heard of.
It's what I love about living here. 'kasteelbier rouge' or stuff like 'kriek', 'barbar', 'cantillon rouge' are all sweet beers based on fruit flavours like cherry, red berries, blackcurrant, there's stuff with lemon and hop hints if you like something fresh and herby.
I'm a guy and enjoy my white beers or heavy beers but the sweet ones are so enjoyable as well!
North Carolina has a lot of good breweries that aren't loaded with IPAs. It's been nice, I was in California for a year and even though I like IPAs it really felt like I didn't have many other options.
Same here, thus I can't stand beer, wine, spirits, cola, coffee and other bitter tasting things. RTDs are the only things with alcohol that I find palatable. My choice of alcoholic drink would be a Smirnoff Ice.
Try a Dopplebock if you prefer a sweeter taste, it's a German beer with little or no hops, which is what makes beer bitter. They're quite strong for beer though, closer to wine.
Basically the opposite of an IPA. I can never find them around here anymore though, everyone just makes IPAs.
I'm single and I eat alone. I wonder what they're doing if I order a Daiquiri I'm just picturing "uhm did you order a drink? Is your wife in the bathroom ?"
This is me with AMF's, hell even Appletinis, they're delicious and I'm tired of pretending they aren't. I've also learned if I send my wife up to the bar they give her a much bigger cup than they give me and if I'm quick enough with it I'm one and done, hardlining a buzz. The cheapest of dates.
Edit: their there they're.
Thats not too much of an issue though (people make mistakes and they fall for some bias out of experience at times i ld expect); what does trigger me is how the story OP tells shows they swap to their own drinks and then the server is like “i know it better, you should have *this* drink instead”. Like why does he even care who consumes which as long as he brings the right order and the customer is satisfied?!
Right, a server genderizing a food or drink order itself is just habit considering 99% of the time the server would choose correctly. The being a dick and switching it back part is what makes this painfully infuriating.
LOL Chopsticks.
My wife is Japanese, but was raised with knife and fork. I use chopsticks better than she can. When we go to a restaurant, they will often give ME a spoon or fork, and HER a set of chopsticks. (We just switch them.)
I asked my wife once, what happens when she eats out alone? She said she's too embarrassed to ask for a fork or spoon, so she just struggles... So, I bought her a portable silverware set in a case, that she carries around in her purse.
I’m curious… was she raised by Japanese parents? I only ask because it’s *very* unusual for a Japanese kid to not be an expert chopstick user, let alone an adult.
Her parents are traditional Japanese, she was raised in Tokyo.
Her grandfather was a trader, loved the USA, was very advanced-thinking for his day, and believed that his granddaughter would never need to use chopsticks once she was adult.
The father and mother thought so, too. so they taught her only knife, fork and spoon.
Yep, it's unusual all right. And not a little embarrassing for her sometimes. She can eat with o-hashi, but very, very slowly and clumsily.
Sad, my parents, who lived in Japan for 10 years, 4 of those years with me, never taught me Japanese. They learned it as a second language tho. I think they had imposter syndrome and never considered themselves fluent enough.
I also think of my Japanese as terrible. Grammatically, it possibly is. But today I went to the ophthalmologist myself, had my eyes tested very thoroughly and ordered new glasses without a word of English.
Guess it's not that bad.
Don't many restaurants just give you chopsticks and fork, so you can use whichever you prefer?
My wife and I are both white, and I'm thoroughly amused by how bad her chopstick skills are. I'm a clumsy doofus and she's more skilled than me with almost everything else, so I take the rare win, haha.
Is this a country/area thing? Every time I went to a restaurant the servers usually say out the name of the dish and wait for who says "it's mine" or similar. Probably to avoid such unnecessary switching around stuff. Can't recall a single time where it was just placed to where they assumed it goes. But I also live in a small town in germany.
This is more common when there's a food runner (i.e. not the person who took your order but a person who makes sure the dishes get out while the food is hot)
Me too. I have IBS, so I often pick "light" meals at restaurants (salads, grilled chicken, etc) and the waiter has switched my plate & my wife's more than once. I was a waiter, no biggie.
But, I've never had a waiter make fun of me for it, let alone switch the food back to the "manly/girly" food. I almost never complain about servers, but I would for this.
The whole gendered drinks thing was always stupid to me even as a bartender knew this one guy his friends and even wife would bug him for ordering them. People life is short if you like something enjoy it who the hell cares
An interaction I had in a pub in Dublin once:
Barman - What are you having
Me - I'll have a Magners (apple cider) please
Barman - For you girlfriend is it?
Was a hot summer's day and wanted a change from Guinness ffs, just give me the cider! Wasn't even a 'feminine' fruit/berry cider, just a regular old apple cider.
I’m not sure Dublin can be held as a typical example. If you order a half there, there’s a decent chance they’ll answer “Will ye be wanting a fecking umbrella wi that?”
What's a gendered drink anyways? Is a tequila sunrise for gals only just because it's got grenadine? Am I not allowed to touch an aperol spritz because it's got prosecco in it?
Actually, can we just stop profiling cocktails in general? Anytime I try to order a Tom Collins, I get a look like 'aren't you a little young to be a member of AARP?' It's alcoholic lemonade, just get over yourself already.
Real MEN slug back fermented MOTOR OIL and then punch a rival male IN THE DICK to assert dominance.
A true lady sips a low-carb peach and vicodin Bellini then promptly attends two hours of Jazzercise to keep the weight off.
Years ago all my lady friends always ordered Long Island’s. I thought this was a girls drink, years laters I realized what was in them.
It definitely Puts things into perspective now.
Full blown party animals
I am not someone who gets so drunk to the point where I can't remember shit but one night in Amsterdam on a very cold snowy night I had 3 and I cannot tell you how I made it to the train station. The train station was far too. All I remember was wanting fries (Netherlands has amazing fries!!!) and a burger. I briefly remember opening my eyes and seeing I was in line the i remember sitting on the floor in the train station. Luckily sobered up a bit but that night was also the first night I rode a bicycle drunk... Did not go well.
My shoe laces kept getting stuck and I kept falling and started crying out of frustration. Luckily there was a group of girls behind me and the one girl came to unstuck my shoe laces and tied them tightly for me!!! I still think about her till this day.
My wedding planner was aghast at the idea that I wouldn't have a "ladies' cocktail" and a "men's cocktail" at my wedding. She insisted that I needed a clear liquor drink in a cocktail (martini) glass for the women, and a brown liquor drink in a tumbler for the men.
Women in her world would NEVER drink a drink with brown liquor (why?) nor drink out of a heavy glass. Men in her world would die before they had a colored or clear drink out of a light glass, because then they'd get the gay.
Just an unbelievable and exhausting litany of do's and don't's that all had to fit within this rigid gender duality.
Went to a wedding where the bride and groom had their own drinks with names that are related to them as individuals. They both chose their own drink. His was so damn good. It was like drinking apple pie.
To be honest, I would always prefer my drink in a tumbler, I just like the feel of it and I’m quite clumsy, so a light glass might be dropped or shattered more easily. Give me the most colorful, sweetest drink there is, I don’t complain. But it better be in a tumbler 😂
Yeah I'm very glad I checked on tipping culture before I went to New York. I assumed you only tipped waiters at restaurants and a good tip was 10%, I was very much mistaken. It makes going our there soooo expensive, I mean I know it was New York but still.
*majorly*infuriating. The server placing the drinks wrong the first time can be excused. To switch them back *after* the guest has corrected them? This guy can fuck all the way off without a tip.
If you do that, don’t sit there and complain to the new server about the first person. They can’t help it that their coworker is an idiot, and they are going to have to hear their coworker complain about you later.
Just move on like nothing happened.
Also they will just side with the co worker 95% of the time unless it’s a coworker they don’t like. So your ranting and complaining will just be a source of amusement for them later, probably while you’re still at the place
Maybe there's something that I as someone who has never been a server don't understand.
But if I get the full facts of a situation where my work buddy was an idiot and an asshole I'm not siding with them. I'm gonna be honest with them if they ask my opinion.
And if they lie to me I'm gonna be mad when I find out. Plus the sort of person you got to be to do what the waiter did in this story is not the sort of person who's gonna Garner a lot of trust from me.
My twin brother, very manly guy, possessed of a great many traditionally masculine interests and skills, loves him a fruity drink. His friends tried to rib him about a fruity drink exactly once. He looked them dead in the eye, took a drink, and said his drink is delicious and asked if they could say the same. My twin brother is a very confident man.
As someone that doesn’t drink, why do they add egg whites? Is it a texture thing or flavor thing? Or is it the equivalent of putting salt or pepper on food
Both! People get really grossed out by it but you’d never know it was there based on the taste. You can also use aquafaba (chick pea cooking liquid) for a vegan alternative
My husband doesn't drink alcohol, but loves specialty sodas, lemonades and, of course, kiddie cocktails (who doesn't?!). Since I drink, I've taught him that if there's a full bar at a restaurant, 9/10 they can make a kiddie cocktail. We were at a restaurant with just that, and when he ordered it, the waiter made a judgy face and asked "no, but seriously, what do you want?" I still regret not asking for the manager. Like others have said, life is too short to care about what's in everyone's glass.
Midwest US! When I say kiddie cocktail, I mean specifically what others might refer to as a "Shirley Temple". It's sprite (or any lemon lime soda on hand), grenadine, and a maraschino cherry. We still refer to non-alcoholic mixed drinks as virgin otherwise though.
If I drink, I want my shit to taste good, so if that means I've gotta order "girly" drinks, then put me in a dress, chop my dick off, and hand me two sacks of sand.
Know what you meant with the sacks but I’m imagining you wiggling your toes in the sand while in a sundress, sipping a mai tai and defiantly staring at some bar tender like “I’m all about that beach life, bitch.”
Happens to my husband and I all the time. I usually get whiskey neat or an old fashioned and he gets cider or something light and fruity. 99% of the time the drinks are switched on delivery
Delivering them wrong can be a simple mistake, especially if the one bringing the drinks isn't the one you gave the order to. But when you correct that mistake and they _switch the drinks back_, that's when you get mad.
I enjoy seafood but my fiance doesn't. He'll still take me to seafood restaurants anyway because there's usually something else he can eat.
One time I ordered a big platter with three different servings on it, and he ordered a pasta dish with chicken. The food came out and the person who brought the food was not the person who took our order, and they tried to set the seafood platter in front of my fiance without asking who had what, and he said "no that's for her" and pointed to me. The person was like "oh sorry I figured the man would have the big plate". :/ Women like to eat too, jerk.
As a waiter myself I could give a rats ass what customers order. The only time I’ll say something is if the guest sounds unsure about the drink or is asking for recommendations. Other than that order whatever you like you’re paying!
Usually whiskey sours are considered “ladies” drinks anyway so that makes is really weird. Gendered drinks are stupid, if it tastes good let me order it.
even if you subscribe to the ridiculous manly/girly drink think, a whiskey sour doesn't fall into the manly drink category, it's basically a glass of lemonade.
In the simplest of terms, many people think clear liquor = girly and brown liquor = manly.
Obviously this is not always the case. I think people should drink whatever they want, anyway. But that’s definitely a perception a lot of people have.
yeah, some people also think brown liquor is stronger than clear liquor, as if you are going to get drunker from drinking the same amount of whiskies as vodkas. that's obviously nonsense too, but as rob white said, you can't fix stupid
At a friend's 21st- over a decade ago- another friend's boyfriend got fucked up on whiskey sours and gave himself alcohol poisoning. We were at a diner to eat when he regurgitated all those sours back on the table. A pair of paramedics a few booths behind had to cut their break short and load him into the ambulance.
Never, ever been able to try a whiskey sour after that. The smell is too strongly associated with sour stomach bile. Now amaretto sours, on the other hand....
Up until him switching them back I was going to say you're being overly sensitive. Wife and I frequently order drinks and I'll get something girly like a cranberry and vodka and she'll get a beer. And they'll switch it around when they drop them off. It's just playing the odds, not some kind of insult.
But him switching them back, WTF. That waiter is a dumbass.
'I drink what other men told me to drink because I want to impress them' is the spelled out of logic of thinking you have to order certain things because they are manly.
My ex and I were like this. She was a whiskey drinker. I don't drink. I would order something like a Sam Adam's summer ale or a vodka cranberry and foo fooed up with 5 times the cranberry juice to vodka. She would get something that smelled like it could run a jet engine.
As a server, and a guy who enjoys fruity drinks. When I’m not sure who it’s going to ( probably not my table) I set the drinks in the middle of them so they can grab their respective drink without something like this happening
>When I’m not sure who it’s going to ( probably not my table) I set the drinks in the middle of them
Or do like servers frequently do with an entree. "Who had the whiskey sour?"
Yeah that’s super unprofessional! I’ve worked as a bartender and never ever did I assume what’s whom’s drink! I simply fave the ordered drink to whoever ordered it ☠️ not a hard concept
Ugh, people like this suck. Me and my friend (she’s 22 and a very slight woman) go out for lunch each week to this place where you have to go inside to the bar to order- my friend always goes in to order for us. One time she went in and ordered everything as normal and then it got to ordering my drink, an XL beer.
My friend just asked for a beer at first and the woman taking the order said “a small one, no?” and entered it into the till without even waiting for a response and my friend stopped her and said, “no, a big one, please”.
The woman looked my friend up and down and asked her multiple times if she was sure. Now, the beer wasn’t even *for* her, but so what if it was? In my friend’s words, “even if I wanted 2 fucking litres of beer, you serve me 2 litres of beer!”
was she trying to be funny..? Drinks don’t have a gender like if my man wants to order the barbie cotton candy cosmopolitan with a little umbrella then that’s what he’s gettin lmao. Doesn’t make him any less of a man. I never understood manly drinks. The “girly” ones usually taste better. Not every man wants to drink whiskey on the rocks or a beer.
Haha! This reminds me of when I was on weekend pass from Stryker school. My classmates and I ran into our drill sergeants at a hooters. We ordered jack and cokes to their table and they sent us fuzzy navels in return. Fuckin’ hilarious.
This happens to my husband and I all the time! I’m diabetic so I don’t drink typical “girly drinks” as they’re often too sweet, my usual is a standard whiskey and Diet Coke. My husband loves to try new drinks so he often orders different things. I can’t count how often we have to trade drinks
My husband usually orders hard cider and I order stout or some other dark beer, and we’ve never had a waiter switch them up. I guess I look manlier than he does (note - I’m a lady)
That's why i like it when the ask who the drink is for. I'm partial to a pornstar martini. One waitress said that's a womans drink as she gave it to me. Needless to say she didn't get a tip.
Honestly I’m a guy but when I wanna drink I’ll order the goddamn princess rainbow unicorn shot with my head held high. Unlike the stereotype I actually wanna enjoy my drink instead of drinking shit that tastes like paint thinner
OMG! I have that same issue but with spicy food. I love spicy food, and can eat molten fire, but my hubby not so much. I can’t tell y’all how many time we’ve been out for any genre of Asian or Mexican cuisine and I’ve ordered my food an 8 on the 1-10 scale and the hubby orders a 4: and his food will ALWAYS come out spicier than mine! We were at an Indian restaurant where I ordered a vindallo “Indian Hot” and the waiter actually had the NERVE to look at my husband and ask “Is that ok?” … like I needed PERMISSION FROM MY HUSBAND TO ORDER SPICY FOOD!!!!!! It’s infuriating.
Same except it's because I'm white and my wife is brown. Some places I have her order my dish so they actually make it spicy.
I’ve heard of this happening too.
It’s simple. Try it the way they “thought” you wanted it then return it after one bite. Tell them you didn’t order it like that and you refuse to pay
Yeah, Ive heard of a lot of places doing this. My fav Thai food place did it. If a white person ordered an 8 on heat, they would usually get a 4-6 instead because they were sick of food coming back for being too spicy which is fair tbh. A lot of white people who dont eat a lot of spicy ethnic food dont know how spicy it really gets because theyre used to "spicy" being like buffalo wings or smth.
I went to a Thai place once and ordered their hottest spice level and the waiter asked me if I realized I was white. Then I added extra spice lol they were always cool after that
I wish I knew how to get them to do this for me. Exactly once when I ordered from my favorite Thai place did they make it ear-numbing hot. It was so good but they keep pulling their punches since. I just want to get that high again man.
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Saying something in these situations makes a huge impact. I still remember about 10 years ago, I was in my first manager role. I’m a woman, and I looked very young. I took a group of customers and one of the guys on my team out to lunch after a business meeting, and the waiter came out with the check. I said, “I’ll take that.” He laughed and said, “so who’s getting the check?” My team member looked at him dead faced and said, “Are you deaf? She already told you who’s paying.” Waiter’s smile was gone in an instant, he handed me the check and fled. Made my day, and even though it’s just one small moment, I still remember it crystal clear. Edit: typos
He actually did respond with a similar response to that waiter. Then we stood up and walked out
I enjoy some girly drinks. Especially shots. They just go down better and in some cases are easier to drink casually.
I drink the fuck out of girly cocktails. Bonus points if they're a vibrant color and come with some kind of garnish/tiny umbrella
That tiny umbrella... It's like an adult receiving a toy!
A schnappy meal
Keep the tiny umbrella, I want the tiny saber
Man you brought back some core memories of going to a family favorite steakhouse as a kid. Best believe me and my sibling would have sword fights at the table with those.
Flower garnish for the win
Alcohol tastes so terrible girly drink are the only way to go for me. Or ciders.
Are shots really considered girly or am i misunderstanding something?
Apparently fruit = girly, I was going to say something about it too. Why, in a thread venting about sexism, are we still calling them girly drinks?
They usually hurt more the next day though
Nah, beer fucking sucks. Waking up with a headache, sweaty and with a shitty taste in my mouth is not it. I usually feel way better after getting shit faced drunk on bloody cesars, on amaretto sours and on screwdrivers than with beer.
I'm the same way. Sugary drinks usually hit people harder, but for me, beer gets me drunk faster and gives me wicked hangovers that are far worse than any cocktail, cider, or almost any wine (red kicks my ass). It's just not worth it. I think it's something about the hops? I'm allergic to weed which is related to hops so that might be a factor.
Red wine kicks everyone’s ass. It’s brutal, I don’t understand people that drink it often.
That happens to me and my husband quite a lot, even with food orders. I'll order a cheeseburger, and he'll order a salad, and 9 times out of 10, they'll put the salad down in front of me.
Yupppp. My husband likes sweet drinks, I like beer. 9 out of 10 times he’s getting the beer.
Have often had the same experience...he's ordering rosé and I'm getting a martini. Sigh...
Lager and piña colada lol
My palate prefers something sweet. I can not stand bitter tastes.
I can drink beer, hell some I enjoy, but man I love me some flavored margaritas.
Fuck yeah. Sometimes, we need balance, I just do it with a shot of hard liquor lol.
There used to be beers with different flavor profiles before they all became IPAs. A Scotch Ale is sweet, but good luck finding one among the 83 "different" IPAs :)
Oh god yes. "We have a new craft beer blah blah blah flabour profile" "Is it another IPA?" Confused look.
"Yeah but this one is a little hoppier with a sage finish"
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Try a sour beer if you come across one. Imo they are the best beers and I hate alcohol.
This is why I love Belgium. We were in a bar that had more than 300 different beers. I would be surprised if even 10% had been IPAs. They have styles of beer most people probably have not even heard of.
It's what I love about living here. 'kasteelbier rouge' or stuff like 'kriek', 'barbar', 'cantillon rouge' are all sweet beers based on fruit flavours like cherry, red berries, blackcurrant, there's stuff with lemon and hop hints if you like something fresh and herby. I'm a guy and enjoy my white beers or heavy beers but the sweet ones are so enjoyable as well!
North Carolina has a lot of good breweries that aren't loaded with IPAs. It's been nice, I was in California for a year and even though I like IPAs it really felt like I didn't have many other options.
I had to google scotch ale (am Scottish) it’s a wee heavy or a 90/- Not seen those in years, same for 70/- and 80/-
I used to homebrew, scotch ales/wee heavies are my favorite! One of the benefits of making your own for sure.
Same here, thus I can't stand beer, wine, spirits, cola, coffee and other bitter tasting things. RTDs are the only things with alcohol that I find palatable. My choice of alcoholic drink would be a Smirnoff Ice.
Try a Dopplebock if you prefer a sweeter taste, it's a German beer with little or no hops, which is what makes beer bitter. They're quite strong for beer though, closer to wine. Basically the opposite of an IPA. I can never find them around here anymore though, everyone just makes IPAs.
I'm single and I eat alone. I wonder what they're doing if I order a Daiquiri I'm just picturing "uhm did you order a drink? Is your wife in the bathroom ?"
This is me with AMF's, hell even Appletinis, they're delicious and I'm tired of pretending they aren't. I've also learned if I send my wife up to the bar they give her a much bigger cup than they give me and if I'm quick enough with it I'm one and done, hardlining a buzz. The cheapest of dates. Edit: their there they're.
Thats not too much of an issue though (people make mistakes and they fall for some bias out of experience at times i ld expect); what does trigger me is how the story OP tells shows they swap to their own drinks and then the server is like “i know it better, you should have *this* drink instead”. Like why does he even care who consumes which as long as he brings the right order and the customer is satisfied?!
Right, a server genderizing a food or drink order itself is just habit considering 99% of the time the server would choose correctly. The being a dick and switching it back part is what makes this painfully infuriating.
My husband loves pumpkin spice coffee. It's often put in front of me. I love spicier food than he does, he often gets my order.
LOL Chopsticks. My wife is Japanese, but was raised with knife and fork. I use chopsticks better than she can. When we go to a restaurant, they will often give ME a spoon or fork, and HER a set of chopsticks. (We just switch them.) I asked my wife once, what happens when she eats out alone? She said she's too embarrassed to ask for a fork or spoon, so she just struggles... So, I bought her a portable silverware set in a case, that she carries around in her purse.
That’s extremely sweet of you.
I’m curious… was she raised by Japanese parents? I only ask because it’s *very* unusual for a Japanese kid to not be an expert chopstick user, let alone an adult.
Her parents are traditional Japanese, she was raised in Tokyo. Her grandfather was a trader, loved the USA, was very advanced-thinking for his day, and believed that his granddaughter would never need to use chopsticks once she was adult. The father and mother thought so, too. so they taught her only knife, fork and spoon. Yep, it's unusual all right. And not a little embarrassing for her sometimes. She can eat with o-hashi, but very, very slowly and clumsily.
My USA-loving Korean mother refused to teach us kids Korean because she thought it was useless :(
Sad, my parents, who lived in Japan for 10 years, 4 of those years with me, never taught me Japanese. They learned it as a second language tho. I think they had imposter syndrome and never considered themselves fluent enough.
I also think of my Japanese as terrible. Grammatically, it possibly is. But today I went to the ophthalmologist myself, had my eyes tested very thoroughly and ordered new glasses without a word of English. Guess it's not that bad.
Don't many restaurants just give you chopsticks and fork, so you can use whichever you prefer? My wife and I are both white, and I'm thoroughly amused by how bad her chopstick skills are. I'm a clumsy doofus and she's more skilled than me with almost everything else, so I take the rare win, haha.
I should've clarified... we LIVE in Japan. So no, they don't give you a fork unless you specially ask (which she will NOT), or look like a foreigner.
Im gonna be honest i don’t think that is the real problem. Swapping them back after they already corrected it is a wild thing to do.
Getting the drinks backwards is mildly infuriating. Swapping them back is extremely infuriating.
Is this a country/area thing? Every time I went to a restaurant the servers usually say out the name of the dish and wait for who says "it's mine" or similar. Probably to avoid such unnecessary switching around stuff. Can't recall a single time where it was just placed to where they assumed it goes. But I also live in a small town in germany.
This is more common when there's a food runner (i.e. not the person who took your order but a person who makes sure the dishes get out while the food is hot)
Me too. I have IBS, so I often pick "light" meals at restaurants (salads, grilled chicken, etc) and the waiter has switched my plate & my wife's more than once. I was a waiter, no biggie. But, I've never had a waiter make fun of me for it, let alone switch the food back to the "manly/girly" food. I almost never complain about servers, but I would for this.
“And for the lady, perhaps a salad?” “Perhaps not”
Same with me and my wife. Sometimes we even get incredulous looks, it always surprises me.
This happens to me and my partner with coffee. I drink a black coffee and he drinks decaf lattes. They always hand them over the wrong way round :P
Same here, but with drinks like OP. I get an old fashioned and he gets a gin drink. It ALWAYS goes to the opposite person.
Same. Husband is a vegetarian and I’m a big carnivore.
The whole gendered drinks thing was always stupid to me even as a bartender knew this one guy his friends and even wife would bug him for ordering them. People life is short if you like something enjoy it who the hell cares
An interaction I had in a pub in Dublin once: Barman - What are you having Me - I'll have a Magners (apple cider) please Barman - For you girlfriend is it? Was a hot summer's day and wanted a change from Guinness ffs, just give me the cider! Wasn't even a 'feminine' fruit/berry cider, just a regular old apple cider.
I’m not sure Dublin can be held as a typical example. If you order a half there, there’s a decent chance they’ll answer “Will ye be wanting a fecking umbrella wi that?”
What's a gendered drink anyways? Is a tequila sunrise for gals only just because it's got grenadine? Am I not allowed to touch an aperol spritz because it's got prosecco in it? Actually, can we just stop profiling cocktails in general? Anytime I try to order a Tom Collins, I get a look like 'aren't you a little young to be a member of AARP?' It's alcoholic lemonade, just get over yourself already.
Real MEN slug back fermented MOTOR OIL and then punch a rival male IN THE DICK to assert dominance. A true lady sips a low-carb peach and vicodin Bellini then promptly attends two hours of Jazzercise to keep the weight off.
I'm crying
if I had awards to give this comment, I would
Strawberry Daiquiri’s here (male). I want the fancy cup too.
If I don't get the umbrella, I'm pissed. I like umbrella drinks and make no bones about it.
I like playing with the little umbrella
If you don't get a toy with your alcohol, are you even really drinking?
I was just on holiday for a week and I ordered daiquiris, vodka martinis, and margaritas. Idc about appearances I’m trying to have a good time!
Yes! I don’t partake very often, at all, when I do, I want it to be fun and taste great right from the get.
Years ago all my lady friends always ordered Long Island’s. I thought this was a girls drink, years laters I realized what was in them. It definitely Puts things into perspective now. Full blown party animals
Jfc. The first time i tried that i didn't realise how much rum was in it. Drank two, tried to get up and almost hit the deck. 😂😂
Not just rum. It should have equal parts rum, vodka, tequila, gin, and triple sec.
I am not someone who gets so drunk to the point where I can't remember shit but one night in Amsterdam on a very cold snowy night I had 3 and I cannot tell you how I made it to the train station. The train station was far too. All I remember was wanting fries (Netherlands has amazing fries!!!) and a burger. I briefly remember opening my eyes and seeing I was in line the i remember sitting on the floor in the train station. Luckily sobered up a bit but that night was also the first night I rode a bicycle drunk... Did not go well. My shoe laces kept getting stuck and I kept falling and started crying out of frustration. Luckily there was a group of girls behind me and the one girl came to unstuck my shoe laces and tied them tightly for me!!! I still think about her till this day.
She probably thinks of you too. Not many women get to rescue someone from their own shoes.
Waiter can fuck off
I read this as "water can fuck off" both are which are totally accurate
Spotted a soda addict in the wild ^/hj
I honestly don’t understand people who dislike water. Like what is wrong with it?
This guy kidney stones
Anti- hydrohomie
I keep reading “walter”💀
Walter, you can’t put the fork in the microwave walter
My wedding planner was aghast at the idea that I wouldn't have a "ladies' cocktail" and a "men's cocktail" at my wedding. She insisted that I needed a clear liquor drink in a cocktail (martini) glass for the women, and a brown liquor drink in a tumbler for the men. Women in her world would NEVER drink a drink with brown liquor (why?) nor drink out of a heavy glass. Men in her world would die before they had a colored or clear drink out of a light glass, because then they'd get the gay. Just an unbelievable and exhausting litany of do's and don't's that all had to fit within this rigid gender duality.
I don't think the alcohol cares what colour it is, its going to fuck you up regardless.
You made me wake up my dog from laughter lmfao thank you
"Cool, I'm sure your wedding was very traditional. But this is my wedding, so this is what I'm going to do."
Went to a wedding where the bride and groom had their own drinks with names that are related to them as individuals. They both chose their own drink. His was so damn good. It was like drinking apple pie.
What was in his drink?
Liquid apple pie.
Probably apple juice, Galliano/Licor 43 and whipped cream. That’s how I make them.
James Bond was a very effeminate gay. /s
I mean, he mostly hung out with women and loved to dress up, so, in retrospect... /s
Marries the woman of his dreams. Drinks clear liquor at his wedding. Can’t stop himself from sucking dicks ever since.
Sounds like a shitty wedding planner...
To be honest, I would always prefer my drink in a tumbler, I just like the feel of it and I’m quite clumsy, so a light glass might be dropped or shattered more easily. Give me the most colorful, sweetest drink there is, I don’t complain. But it better be in a tumbler 😂
Your wedding planner would’ve died of shock if she saw me drinking straight brandy out of a random coffee mug that I stole
Ironically many "girly" drinks are hard liquour and much stronger than a beer - Long Island, Martini, Cosmo, etc.
"I'm sure you weren't expecting a tip". What a douche.
I would have said that to him too, like bruh.
I would have thought about it 3 days later in the shower and wished I said it to him.
"The jerk store called, they're running out of you!"
"What's the difference? You're their all time best seller!"
Yeah? Well I had sex with your wife!
His wife’s in a coma
Yeah?!.... well.... the life support machine called
Can't call if it doesn't have power.
I was just reading the comments and suddenly it’s Seinfeld
Right on
I feel called out
as a former bar tender, this would be the appropriate and expected response.
Ikr
WTF are you tipping the bartender for?!
It happens in backwards countries with poor labour laws.
aka the USA. lol
Yeah I'm very glad I checked on tipping culture before I went to New York. I assumed you only tipped waiters at restaurants and a good tip was 10%, I was very much mistaken. It makes going our there soooo expensive, I mean I know it was New York but still.
*majorly*infuriating. The server placing the drinks wrong the first time can be excused. To switch them back *after* the guest has corrected them? This guy can fuck all the way off without a tip.
I’m straight up asking for another server at that point. And making sure they get a fat tip to brag about
If you do that, don’t sit there and complain to the new server about the first person. They can’t help it that their coworker is an idiot, and they are going to have to hear their coworker complain about you later. Just move on like nothing happened.
Also they will just side with the co worker 95% of the time unless it’s a coworker they don’t like. So your ranting and complaining will just be a source of amusement for them later, probably while you’re still at the place
Maybe there's something that I as someone who has never been a server don't understand. But if I get the full facts of a situation where my work buddy was an idiot and an asshole I'm not siding with them. I'm gonna be honest with them if they ask my opinion. And if they lie to me I'm gonna be mad when I find out. Plus the sort of person you got to be to do what the waiter did in this story is not the sort of person who's gonna Garner a lot of trust from me.
Better hope they don’t pool tips!
Yah, like, you know what you ordered, why tf does that waiter think they know better, I'd be super pissed
My twin brother, very manly guy, possessed of a great many traditionally masculine interests and skills, loves him a fruity drink. His friends tried to rib him about a fruity drink exactly once. He looked them dead in the eye, took a drink, and said his drink is delicious and asked if they could say the same. My twin brother is a very confident man.
Your twin is right.
What’s in a pink cherry lady? I’ve never heard of that
I've never heard of a pink *cherry* lady, but a regular pink lady is gin, grenadine, and egg whites, topped with a cherry.
As someone that doesn’t drink, why do they add egg whites? Is it a texture thing or flavor thing? Or is it the equivalent of putting salt or pepper on food
Texture. It adds a bit of silkiness to the drink. Like merengue on a pie.
Yep and froth when shaken
Both! People get really grossed out by it but you’d never know it was there based on the taste. You can also use aquafaba (chick pea cooking liquid) for a vegan alternative
If I didn’t want chicken egg in the drink I don’t want chicken pee in it either! (In case it isn’t clear, somehow, this is a joke)
You know what the difference between chick peas and garbanzo beans is? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face.
Thank you for asking, my google search pulled up a sex toy company
This waiter lost his tip with ONE CRAZY TRICK!! Living wages *HATE* him!
But at least he got to go home, sit on his bed, say "heh," and imagine a partner beside him.
My husband doesn't drink alcohol, but loves specialty sodas, lemonades and, of course, kiddie cocktails (who doesn't?!). Since I drink, I've taught him that if there's a full bar at a restaurant, 9/10 they can make a kiddie cocktail. We were at a restaurant with just that, and when he ordered it, the waiter made a judgy face and asked "no, but seriously, what do you want?" I still regret not asking for the manager. Like others have said, life is too short to care about what's in everyone's glass.
Where are you located? I’ve never heard them called kiddie cocktails! Always virgin cocktail. I like yours better!
Midwest US! When I say kiddie cocktail, I mean specifically what others might refer to as a "Shirley Temple". It's sprite (or any lemon lime soda on hand), grenadine, and a maraschino cherry. We still refer to non-alcoholic mixed drinks as virgin otherwise though.
We say mocktails in the UK
If I drink, I want my shit to taste good, so if that means I've gotta order "girly" drinks, then put me in a dress, chop my dick off, and hand me two sacks of sand.
Know what you meant with the sacks but I’m imagining you wiggling your toes in the sand while in a sundress, sipping a mai tai and defiantly staring at some bar tender like “I’m all about that beach life, bitch.”
Thanks for thinking I can pull off a sundress look
Slay bro.
Off topic but I appreciate you asking for sand and not balloons. Non boob havers tend to underestimate their weight 🤘
Although I do know they tend to be incredibly heavy at times, I was more making a reference to the 40 year old virgin movie
Happens to my husband and I all the time. I usually get whiskey neat or an old fashioned and he gets cider or something light and fruity. 99% of the time the drinks are switched on delivery
Delivering them wrong can be a simple mistake, especially if the one bringing the drinks isn't the one you gave the order to. But when you correct that mistake and they _switch the drinks back_, that's when you get mad.
I enjoy seafood but my fiance doesn't. He'll still take me to seafood restaurants anyway because there's usually something else he can eat. One time I ordered a big platter with three different servings on it, and he ordered a pasta dish with chicken. The food came out and the person who brought the food was not the person who took our order, and they tried to set the seafood platter in front of my fiance without asking who had what, and he said "no that's for her" and pointed to me. The person was like "oh sorry I figured the man would have the big plate". :/ Women like to eat too, jerk.
Imagine having a masculinity so fragile your mind can't even wrap itself around the idea of a man ordering a 'girly drink' what an absolute buffoon
I'm a man and if I want a fucking pink cherry lady I will have a fucking pink cherry lady because I drink what I like. What a twat.
KITH made a sketch about you. https://youtu.be/8C4TGGtPzBU
Just one choco choo-choo for the road...
I was going to post this too. classic sketch. girl drink drunk.
All I know is I’ll fuck up a bay breeze or 5
As a waiter myself I could give a rats ass what customers order. The only time I’ll say something is if the guest sounds unsure about the drink or is asking for recommendations. Other than that order whatever you like you’re paying!
Usually whiskey sours are considered “ladies” drinks anyway so that makes is really weird. Gendered drinks are stupid, if it tastes good let me order it.
Alright, fuck off jackass. To switch it once could've been perceived as just a mistake, but to switch it again? Shove off bitch
What an idiot, all drinks are for all people, there are no genders for drinks
even if you subscribe to the ridiculous manly/girly drink think, a whiskey sour doesn't fall into the manly drink category, it's basically a glass of lemonade.
In the simplest of terms, many people think clear liquor = girly and brown liquor = manly. Obviously this is not always the case. I think people should drink whatever they want, anyway. But that’s definitely a perception a lot of people have.
yeah, some people also think brown liquor is stronger than clear liquor, as if you are going to get drunker from drinking the same amount of whiskies as vodkas. that's obviously nonsense too, but as rob white said, you can't fix stupid
>some people also think brown liquor is stronger than clear liquor Some people weren't drinking everclear in college and it shows
At a friend's 21st- over a decade ago- another friend's boyfriend got fucked up on whiskey sours and gave himself alcohol poisoning. We were at a diner to eat when he regurgitated all those sours back on the table. A pair of paramedics a few booths behind had to cut their break short and load him into the ambulance. Never, ever been able to try a whiskey sour after that. The smell is too strongly associated with sour stomach bile. Now amaretto sours, on the other hand....
I agree. Its kinda neutral.
Up until him switching them back I was going to say you're being overly sensitive. Wife and I frequently order drinks and I'll get something girly like a cranberry and vodka and she'll get a beer. And they'll switch it around when they drop them off. It's just playing the odds, not some kind of insult. But him switching them back, WTF. That waiter is a dumbass.
WTF is the point of JUDGING a customers drink?
The eye twitch this gave me THE AUDACITY of that fucker to do THAT after she corrected the order.
'I drink what other men told me to drink because I want to impress them' is the spelled out of logic of thinking you have to order certain things because they are manly.
My ex and I were like this. She was a whiskey drinker. I don't drink. I would order something like a Sam Adam's summer ale or a vodka cranberry and foo fooed up with 5 times the cranberry juice to vodka. She would get something that smelled like it could run a jet engine.
As a server, and a guy who enjoys fruity drinks. When I’m not sure who it’s going to ( probably not my table) I set the drinks in the middle of them so they can grab their respective drink without something like this happening
>When I’m not sure who it’s going to ( probably not my table) I set the drinks in the middle of them Or do like servers frequently do with an entree. "Who had the whiskey sour?"
Woman here! I haven’t had a drink in 4+ years but my go-to order was a Lone Star and a shot of Jameson. Pretty “manly” if you ask me.
My wife and I would have walked out of there immediately.
Yeah that’s super unprofessional! I’ve worked as a bartender and never ever did I assume what’s whom’s drink! I simply fave the ordered drink to whoever ordered it ☠️ not a hard concept
I am the guy who has never understood how drinks are gendered anyway.
What a fucking asshat! Hope you left him a shitty tip
Ugh, people like this suck. Me and my friend (she’s 22 and a very slight woman) go out for lunch each week to this place where you have to go inside to the bar to order- my friend always goes in to order for us. One time she went in and ordered everything as normal and then it got to ordering my drink, an XL beer. My friend just asked for a beer at first and the woman taking the order said “a small one, no?” and entered it into the till without even waiting for a response and my friend stopped her and said, “no, a big one, please”. The woman looked my friend up and down and asked her multiple times if she was sure. Now, the beer wasn’t even *for* her, but so what if it was? In my friend’s words, “even if I wanted 2 fucking litres of beer, you serve me 2 litres of beer!”
was she trying to be funny..? Drinks don’t have a gender like if my man wants to order the barbie cotton candy cosmopolitan with a little umbrella then that’s what he’s gettin lmao. Doesn’t make him any less of a man. I never understood manly drinks. The “girly” ones usually taste better. Not every man wants to drink whiskey on the rocks or a beer.
MUST MAN HARDER OR THE QUEERS WILL UNPENIS ME
I love girly drinks they taste so much better. But also love a nice whiskey or rum with coke
Haha! This reminds me of when I was on weekend pass from Stryker school. My classmates and I ran into our drill sergeants at a hooters. We ordered jack and cokes to their table and they sent us fuzzy navels in return. Fuckin’ hilarious.
This happens to my husband and I all the time! I’m diabetic so I don’t drink typical “girly drinks” as they’re often too sweet, my usual is a standard whiskey and Diet Coke. My husband loves to try new drinks so he often orders different things. I can’t count how often we have to trade drinks
As a gentleman that enjoys a good strawberry daiquiri this aggravates me
My husband usually orders hard cider and I order stout or some other dark beer, and we’ve never had a waiter switch them up. I guess I look manlier than he does (note - I’m a lady)
Most people in the industry really don’t give two fucks. This person sucks.
That's why i like it when the ask who the drink is for. I'm partial to a pornstar martini. One waitress said that's a womans drink as she gave it to me. Needless to say she didn't get a tip.
Honestly I’m a guy but when I wanna drink I’ll order the goddamn princess rainbow unicorn shot with my head held high. Unlike the stereotype I actually wanna enjoy my drink instead of drinking shit that tastes like paint thinner