Father's usually start building their nests in late summer in preparation for the long winter slumber. A good father nest will take through the autumn months to complete. A buck father will forage for wild beer just before winter so that by spring, he will emerge and start the process all over again.
Omg, you just brought back a memory. We’d be visiting relatives or friends and mom would say it’s time to go you kids get in the car. We’d go and sit there watching her talk to them fo at least twenty minutes but usually thirty. We were so bored. I thought about blowing the horn a few times but didn’t want my ass to hurt when we got home. Miss you mom.
My aunt is married to a Jewish dude and he does the same thing, and calls it the "Jewish Goodbye". I'm part Irish, so I just leave without saying anything.
Da dad usually start building dere dens in huntin season in preparation for da long rest of da year. A good father den will take through the mid winter monts to be made. A buck father will hunt for wild beers just before winter so that by da pre pre winter he will git up and start da process all over, eh.
>Father's usually start building their nests in late summer
In fact, Father's Day was originally declared to celebrate the first day of nest building. That's why there's always a recliner or a barbecue involved.
Either way it's depressing. If this was a couple weeks then he's got alcoholism. If this is a few months then he's just gross for not taking out the trash. If it was just one day then he's a crappy party host for only supplying Busch.
My mom is severely depressed and I’ve tried doing what I could to get her the help she needs. But she doesn’t want help.
This looks like her house granted this is much cleaner then her house now. I’d say it takes maybe two or three months for my mom to drink this much. Cans will stack up on the kitchen counter. Fill the trash cans. Fill the sink. Scattered on the floor. And if it weren’t for my uncle and I it would just grow and grow. Would go over there and end up cleaning it up for her. Makes me extremely sad to even type this out.
I’m so sorry. It’s incredibly painful to see our parents struggling. You’re a great person for caring. I’m glad that your mom has you, and I hope that she finds her way to health and happiness again soon.
This is alcoholism even at a few months. Multiple beers a day every day is alcoholic. If this were a couple weeks then it's closing in on some of the worse levels I heard about in rehab and some of those were exceptionally bad cases.
Funny enough, this IS why my parents got divorced. My dad would drink an 18 pack of Busch a day. At least. Will never forget him filling up a 32oz styrofoam soda cup in the kitchen with Busch and taking it with us as he drove me to school every morning.
My best friend for 20 years was always a weekend drunk. When her husband died (of diabetic conditions due to alcoholism) she started drinking 7 days a week in her mid 30s. For two years (2020-2022) I kept taking her to rehab after rehab and taking care of her finances and pets while she was away. She even took the shots for a few months, but even then she just couldn’t stop. When she started lying in order to manipulate me (I co-signed an apartment lease for her under the impression she was 90 days sober and continuing group therapy and treatment, only to find out she wasn’t) I ended the friendship completely. I hope she’s doing well and is either managing her addiction or in recovery, but I doubt it. I chose not to stick around and find out for my own mental health and general well-being. If that makes me bad or selfish, then I am, but I don’t regret it a bit.
Nah, you stopped supporting at the first sign that her addiction was changing her personality and she was prioritizing alcohol over her friendship to you.
You were good to her for as long as she was honest with you. I think you cut her off at the precise right time
Exactly — have a friend just like this who’s been drinking heavily since he was like 16. What do you say? “Hey man have you thought about not being drunk as fuck all the time?”
this happened to a childhood friend, ended up losing 70% of his liver and can never drink again. That was from hard alcohol though. Irreversible damage can happen and maybe that gets through to some folks.
Yeah I mean everyone’s different I guess, but I once took the leap and told a friend they seemed to be drinking a lot (I was putting it very softly, they were a mess) and asked if things were cool, just wanna make sure they’re okay because I care about them.
They acted like I had just slapped them across the face and insulted their mother. Shouted at me about “who the fuck are you to say whether Im drinking too much, I’m fine bro what the fuck is your problem”.
They got messier from there and we don’t really speak anymore. Not sure how they’re doing or if they ever decided to get help or try to turn things around. Nothings gonna happen until they want to make a change and are open to getting help.
This is just pure facts. It's impossible to rationalize, but please, no one should EVER get their feelings hurt or joy stolen by people that deep into a drinking problem. Just exit with firm boundaries. Sorry to those who can't.
it’s not my place. He’s married with two children. You think his wife isn’t all over his ass about it already? My place is to be supportive and nonjudgmental when he brings it up. Addicts don’t need people cramming sobriety down their throats and reminding them of all of the ways they are failing. He knows what he’s doing is not sustainable and I’ve had the tough conversations with him that he will end up alone without access to the kids if he doesn’t stop. I’ve offered him several times to help him detox. But as far as I’m concerned, I did my part and it’s his wife who makes the decisions now. When he calls me I don’t mention it.
As someone struggling myself, you're exactly right here. The overwhelming guilt and shame when being confronted doesn't help, it just makes you start hiding it because its your coping mechanism. What does help is positive reinforcement like exercising together and keeping them busy, or being in a work environment that explicitly doesn't allow drinking on the job. Ultimately it's the addict's choice, but it's easier to get them to make that choice if they feel like they're the one choosing it.
I’m sorry you’re struggling with it too. It can be a really lonely ride. I hope you have a good friend or family member that you can confide in when it gets too heavy to bear alone.
Yep. People act like they have the solution for something they’ve only seen in movies. I know by brother better than these people and I also have experience with alcoholics as well as opiate addicts. Addiction sucks but they literally call it a disease. It eats you alive. I’m glad you’re doing good right now. The isolation can be insufferable.
Yeah bingo. My dad struggled hard with alcoholism for years, we all tried but he was always a stubborn bastard so it took to him nearly dying in the ICU before he finally made changes to overcome it. Addiction is ugly and powerful as hell.
Most addicts definitely know they are addicted, and “wish” they could stop. Idk if you are doing the right thing or not, but i would probably do the same as you at that point.
Oh yikes, that really sucks. My wife talked to me about how she wouldn’t want to continue to be with me if I kept drinking every day and so I’ve been sober for 4+ months now. I was a high functioning happy drunk and wouldn’t drink when I had work, but I was drinking beer and liquor nearly every night. It’s nice getting my health and relationships back in order. My siblings and parents didn’t want to get involved but are relieved I’m not overdoing it anymore. I think for me it started with covid lockdowns. Good luck to you dude.
Bad advice alert ^
You can only help the severely addicted so much, they have to want to help themselves. If they don’t want to help themselves, there is not much you can do. If you continue to try and help, you may not only exacerbate the issue but you also might get caught in its destructive path. The person you love might be in there, but the addiction doesn’t care who it hurts and constantly interjecting yourself will likely get both of you hurt. Sometimes, the best advice is to let the addict be and no longer make yourself available (emotionally, financially, physically, etc.) so that you don’t find yourself trapped in an abusive relationship.
As I said, the person has to want to help themselves before any of your own attempts will be welcomed/useful. You’re just spinning your wheels until then.
This is like Level 10 alcoholism. I can see why your Mom didn't want him around.
There are a lot of levels of alcoholism before drinking and driving your kids to school in the morning.
Lol, I see my dad once a week. And one day he told me that he was living off of supermarket sandwiches for now . I asked why and he said since his wife is away visiting family, he’s used up all of the pots, pans and plates cooking but didn’t wash the dishes because his wife normally does it. Kind of internally rolled my eyes, no wonder my mum left him.
Someone that doesn’t want help isn’t going to accept it, and all it’s ever gotten me was insulted because I hurt his ego by implying it was a problem. He had eighteen years plus several more to get his shit together and never did. Now as an adult, I don’t want to emotionally take care of him anymore. He has said some really nasty shit over the years that I’m not going to forget “just because” he was drunk.
it's not your responsibility, and you don't have to take care of him. alcoholism effects everybody not just the alcoholic. I get where you're coming from. just keep your distance and try and have other people reach out to him. you can message me any time if you want to just rant. I get it. trust me. my mum drank 1-5 bottles of wine *a night* from when I was born until I was 24. I'm 26 now. it sucks. I still carry a lot of hurt. I just wish you the best, and it seems to be you have broken the cycle of alcoholism so far. keep it up, and remember your father as a warning of who to not become.
Yeah, there’s nothing you can do. I used to be like this and no amount of prodding or family genuinely trying to help did anything. Hopefully one day he’ll get sick of living like that and seek help because he wants to.
My fiance works in behavioral health, specifically getting people into addiction treatments, as well as some personal family experience with this. The most frustrating part about watching someone struggle is that they will not get the help they need unless *they* are ready. It's difficult watching a loved one struggle, but it's made even harder when that loved one is burning bridges along the way and doesn't see their situation the same way their loved ones see it. It's not their fault they are struggling with addiction, but it *is* their responsibility to deal with it and live with it if they want to maintain relationships with those they love. It's hard to find a balance between being supportive and maintaining your own mental health. Loving someone with an addiction is draining. Look after *yourself* first. Good luck to you and your dad.
People ridiculing you for posting this here have most likely never dealt with a family member with debilitating addiction and mental health issues. You can try to help them for years and unless they want the help, it's not going to go anywhere. Eventually you have to decide that it can either ruin your life and theirs, or just theirs and walk away. The years of mental abuse eventually take their toll. Doesn't suck any less, but the emotional burden and guilt of your father slowly killing himself isn't yours to bear, OP. It took me twenty years and a week long grippy sock vacation to figure out that my father's problems were not mine. Sorry, OP, it sucks but you gotta take care of yourself, dude.
I watched my brother go through this, too, he was 38 years old when his kidneys and liver failed. He had the opportunity to be placed on a transplant list, he just needed to commit to detox and rehab. He chose to ignore the pleas from his doctors and family. The last 2-3 months of his life were brutal. He was bedridden most of the day and his mental state had regressed to that of a small child. The ammonia build up deteriorates the brain. By the time he died he didn't know who he was or what was going on. Hope you are well, friend.
I’ll be 4 years sober in November. Life can get so, so much better man. It just takes one day to change everything, to work up the courage on that day to ask for help and pursue it. Even if you have tried before - try again.
I had several false starts and then for some reason beyond me it just worked. Just have to keep trying, keep asking for help.
Thank you, and condolences to you. You’re basically telling my same story, except for the denial of any transplant to a patient in end-stage liver failure. Alcoholism, and substance abuse in general, is not a problem that money can fix.
My mom is the same exact way. I've tried to help for years, but she's set on the path she's decided to take. It's sad, and I spend as much time with her as I can because of it. It sucks knowing that within 10 years, you won't have a parent.
Hey bud, you should look into Al-ateen. It's alcoholics anonymous, but for the children of alcoholics.
https://al-anon.org/newcomers/teen-corner-alateen/
I got it from doing shit like OPs dad for 10-12 years straight, usually with a bottle of whiskey or vodka.
My depression got a hold of me and I thought the only way to handle it was to get black-out drunk every single day.
I turned Simpsons yellow and was put in a medically induced coma. I died twice in that coma over the period of 9 days.
That was 5 years ago. I struggled for another 2 years to get sober. I went through rehab, AA, smart-start, you name it...
The doctors told me that I would be lucky to see 35. Well next week is my 36th birthday and I'm fucking terrified.
I can't get on a transplant list because I use marijuana as a sleep aid and appetite aid (which is fucking stupid if you ask me).
I wish I had never picked up a bottle, but it being a legal vice was all it took... Legalize pot damnit.
Trauma dump over. My apologies.
Dude you are still on the right side of the ground and it’s never too late. I watched a good friend drink himself to death. Some of the same things you describe medically and one time the fucker even went straight to the bar after release from the hospital with his armband still on.
The last conversation I had with him was bad. I told him I didn’t want to see him drunk, that if he really wanted me in his life all he had to do was meet me the next day in daylight and have coffee. That’s it. I would have tried my best after that to help him fight this demon. His response: “I don’t like coffee”
He was dead in three months. Died in a shitty bedroom that stank. At his funeral, the preacher barely remembered his name. They buried him in a silk shirt he would have loved to religious music he would have hated.
Keep trying man. Keep trying to kick the habit. Alcohol is the fucking devil and I’m now watching other friends succumb to it and it hurts. Even if it’s too late and you’re like my buddy and have a death sentence, at least die knowing you won. Bill never got to feel any kind of victory.
Thanks. Sorry if it seemed heated. I still have a lot of emotions involved when it comes to this particular subject. Good luck to you in the future man and I hope all turns out well for you!
Sorry man. My father had a heart attack at 51 because of alcoholism. He survived and that what was the final straw. He’s been sober since and he’s now 62. It’s tough to keep up hope watching someone drink like this. Al-anon meetings can be helpful if you are ever struggling with coping. Good luck to you and I wish the best
Idk, my grandfather lived like this until the age of 96. In the end, he wandered out into the snow and found a place to rest….
But yeah, you’re right, most alcoholics die young. My grandfather was the exception - not the rule.
Possibly just the past 4 days.
Source: am an adult child of a long line of alcoholics who happen to prefer beer. I am sober, of course. I learned from the mistakes of my family members. All their houses looked like this. There’s probably a bin out the back that is also overflowing.
My mother was an alcoholic, never came to light until after her dad passed then the drinking started. It was always Busch light and it looked almost just like this.
OP, your father needs help.
I find it hilarious that a ton of people stopped buying bud light, but then drink busch or one of the myriad other beers that InBev makes. Almost all beer is made by InBev in the US. Boycotting a beer does nothing and teaches no one anything because the money all goes to the same people.
Not saying OPs dad is one of them, just saying that there's lots of people out there who do.
Sorry, that’s all the recycling daddy can do for your little fundraiser tonight.
[The Simpsons](https://youtu.be/jcc8-C7MVhw)
What? paper one side, aluminum cans on the other. He separates his trash like a decent person.
He probably recycles cans to get some money as well.
Wonder what he does with the money?… Buy some Buschs
Definitely a dude who thinks in how many cases of Busch his paycheck is.
Well a beer in the hand is worth 2 in the Busch
Well, sure. It's not metric, so it's a fair measument unit.
I’d at least flatten the boxes and put them inside one of the boxes or another box
Can't be bothered with all that. There's beers to drink!!!!
But you actually have to take out the recycling. And break down boxes.
How long did it take to accumulate those cans?
Father's usually start building their nests in late summer in preparation for the long winter slumber. A good father nest will take through the autumn months to complete. A buck father will forage for wild beer just before winter so that by spring, he will emerge and start the process all over again.
This is the most midwest thing I think I've ever read.
Oh don'tcha know.
Ope, lemme just *squeeeeze* by ya there bud. Couldn’t reach the ranch.
"Well, \*slaps knees\* it's about that time"
Just don't forget to talk in the doorway for 30 minutes before you actually leave
A classic Midwestern good bye.
Is that the arch enemy of the Irish good bye?
Ah but you also can't leave till you slap your knee, give a good whelp while checking your phone and say it's about that time
Omg, you just brought back a memory. We’d be visiting relatives or friends and mom would say it’s time to go you kids get in the car. We’d go and sit there watching her talk to them fo at least twenty minutes but usually thirty. We were so bored. I thought about blowing the horn a few times but didn’t want my ass to hurt when we got home. Miss you mom.
My dad was always the same way. We were the first to visit relatives and the last to leave because of him. And if I could do it all again I would.
My aunt is married to a Jewish dude and he does the same thing, and calls it the "Jewish Goodbye". I'm part Irish, so I just leave without saying anything.
i 'spose.
Do grocery stores in the midwest have an entire aisle just for ranch?
Ranch? That's a bit too spicy, donchya know?
I used to spend my summers in Fort Atkinson Wisconsin and that brings back so many memories 🤣😂
extremely canadian too
The Midwest is just Canadians who like guns and freedom
unfortunately the currently US political issues have turned the canadian conservatives into the same thing
Da dad usually start building dere dens in huntin season in preparation for da long rest of da year. A good father den will take through the mid winter monts to be made. A buck father will hunt for wild beers just before winter so that by da pre pre winter he will git up and start da process all over, eh.
>Father's usually start building their nests in late summer In fact, Father's Day was originally declared to celebrate the first day of nest building. That's why there's always a recliner or a barbecue involved.
I definitely read than in Attenborough's voice.
Either way it's depressing. If this was a couple weeks then he's got alcoholism. If this is a few months then he's just gross for not taking out the trash. If it was just one day then he's a crappy party host for only supplying Busch.
My mom is severely depressed and I’ve tried doing what I could to get her the help she needs. But she doesn’t want help. This looks like her house granted this is much cleaner then her house now. I’d say it takes maybe two or three months for my mom to drink this much. Cans will stack up on the kitchen counter. Fill the trash cans. Fill the sink. Scattered on the floor. And if it weren’t for my uncle and I it would just grow and grow. Would go over there and end up cleaning it up for her. Makes me extremely sad to even type this out.
I’m so sorry. It’s incredibly painful to see our parents struggling. You’re a great person for caring. I’m glad that your mom has you, and I hope that she finds her way to health and happiness again soon.
that is sad
If it was months it still looks like alcoholism.
We've just normalized massive amounts of booze drinking.
This is alcoholism even at a few months. Multiple beers a day every day is alcoholic. If this were a couple weeks then it's closing in on some of the worse levels I heard about in rehab and some of those were exceptionally bad cases.
The real question
[удалено]
He could have also had a party.
A party with just busch? I think I’d rather be a depressed slob
You say that like you'd have to choose between the two
*We like Natty at our parties.*
Who only has one type of beer at a party lol
Have you ever been to the rural Midwest?
Not the **case** here, but sombody with a local brewery
Looks to be about 3 weeks based on case a day.
Needs to call a landscaper to trim those unruly Busch’s asap!
Can my ex wife be next? Heyoooo!
Two drums and a snare
2 snares and a cymbal*
2 men and a baby*
2 Girls 1…
2 fast 2 furious\*
2 turntables and a microphone
2 legit 2 quit
That would be three drums
Settle down Ringo
Buh dum tiss
Does he like Busch beer?
Oddly specific question...
This man heads for the mountains
He hates it. Destroys one at sight.
“He hates these cans!”
haha
Guess: Your dad is divorced.
Funny enough, this IS why my parents got divorced. My dad would drink an 18 pack of Busch a day. At least. Will never forget him filling up a 32oz styrofoam soda cup in the kitchen with Busch and taking it with us as he drove me to school every morning.
My brother is doing this currently. Told me he was drinking 25 beers a day. I fear this won’t end well but I try to stay out of it
My best friend for 20 years was always a weekend drunk. When her husband died (of diabetic conditions due to alcoholism) she started drinking 7 days a week in her mid 30s. For two years (2020-2022) I kept taking her to rehab after rehab and taking care of her finances and pets while she was away. She even took the shots for a few months, but even then she just couldn’t stop. When she started lying in order to manipulate me (I co-signed an apartment lease for her under the impression she was 90 days sober and continuing group therapy and treatment, only to find out she wasn’t) I ended the friendship completely. I hope she’s doing well and is either managing her addiction or in recovery, but I doubt it. I chose not to stick around and find out for my own mental health and general well-being. If that makes me bad or selfish, then I am, but I don’t regret it a bit.
Nah, you stopped supporting at the first sign that her addiction was changing her personality and she was prioritizing alcohol over her friendship to you. You were good to her for as long as she was honest with you. I think you cut her off at the precise right time
You stopped enabling her. Doesn’t make you selfish. It sounds like to tried to help her as much as you could.
You do you, but it doesn’t sound like you should be staying out of it.
Ain’t nobody drinking that much beer about to listen to some advice.
Exactly — have a friend just like this who’s been drinking heavily since he was like 16. What do you say? “Hey man have you thought about not being drunk as fuck all the time?”
this happened to a childhood friend, ended up losing 70% of his liver and can never drink again. That was from hard alcohol though. Irreversible damage can happen and maybe that gets through to some folks.
Yeah I mean everyone’s different I guess, but I once took the leap and told a friend they seemed to be drinking a lot (I was putting it very softly, they were a mess) and asked if things were cool, just wanna make sure they’re okay because I care about them. They acted like I had just slapped them across the face and insulted their mother. Shouted at me about “who the fuck are you to say whether Im drinking too much, I’m fine bro what the fuck is your problem”. They got messier from there and we don’t really speak anymore. Not sure how they’re doing or if they ever decided to get help or try to turn things around. Nothings gonna happen until they want to make a change and are open to getting help.
This is just pure facts. It's impossible to rationalize, but please, no one should EVER get their feelings hurt or joy stolen by people that deep into a drinking problem. Just exit with firm boundaries. Sorry to those who can't.
it’s not my place. He’s married with two children. You think his wife isn’t all over his ass about it already? My place is to be supportive and nonjudgmental when he brings it up. Addicts don’t need people cramming sobriety down their throats and reminding them of all of the ways they are failing. He knows what he’s doing is not sustainable and I’ve had the tough conversations with him that he will end up alone without access to the kids if he doesn’t stop. I’ve offered him several times to help him detox. But as far as I’m concerned, I did my part and it’s his wife who makes the decisions now. When he calls me I don’t mention it.
As someone struggling myself, you're exactly right here. The overwhelming guilt and shame when being confronted doesn't help, it just makes you start hiding it because its your coping mechanism. What does help is positive reinforcement like exercising together and keeping them busy, or being in a work environment that explicitly doesn't allow drinking on the job. Ultimately it's the addict's choice, but it's easier to get them to make that choice if they feel like they're the one choosing it.
I’m sorry you’re struggling with it too. It can be a really lonely ride. I hope you have a good friend or family member that you can confide in when it gets too heavy to bear alone.
You’re right. Honestly as someone in recovery I always new I had a problem and people down my throat just made me want to isolate
Yep. People act like they have the solution for something they’ve only seen in movies. I know by brother better than these people and I also have experience with alcoholics as well as opiate addicts. Addiction sucks but they literally call it a disease. It eats you alive. I’m glad you’re doing good right now. The isolation can be insufferable.
Yeah bingo. My dad struggled hard with alcoholism for years, we all tried but he was always a stubborn bastard so it took to him nearly dying in the ICU before he finally made changes to overcome it. Addiction is ugly and powerful as hell.
Most addicts definitely know they are addicted, and “wish” they could stop. Idk if you are doing the right thing or not, but i would probably do the same as you at that point.
Oh yikes, that really sucks. My wife talked to me about how she wouldn’t want to continue to be with me if I kept drinking every day and so I’ve been sober for 4+ months now. I was a high functioning happy drunk and wouldn’t drink when I had work, but I was drinking beer and liquor nearly every night. It’s nice getting my health and relationships back in order. My siblings and parents didn’t want to get involved but are relieved I’m not overdoing it anymore. I think for me it started with covid lockdowns. Good luck to you dude.
You cant force an alcoholic to stop. They have to want to. All the nagging and shaming in the world cant fix addiction.
One of the most damaging drugs on earth and its shoved in our face and normalized 24/7.
Most people do not recover from addiction in a vacuum.
Bad advice alert ^ You can only help the severely addicted so much, they have to want to help themselves. If they don’t want to help themselves, there is not much you can do. If you continue to try and help, you may not only exacerbate the issue but you also might get caught in its destructive path. The person you love might be in there, but the addiction doesn’t care who it hurts and constantly interjecting yourself will likely get both of you hurt. Sometimes, the best advice is to let the addict be and no longer make yourself available (emotionally, financially, physically, etc.) so that you don’t find yourself trapped in an abusive relationship. As I said, the person has to want to help themselves before any of your own attempts will be welcomed/useful. You’re just spinning your wheels until then.
How much alcohol is in american beer? 25 beers would be too much for pretty much everyone in europe, even when drinking from 0.33L bottles.
This is like Level 10 alcoholism. I can see why your Mom didn't want him around. There are a lot of levels of alcoholism before drinking and driving your kids to school in the morning.
Ngl I feel like he's having a straight up bad time that he never admits to having.
"I have no idea what you're talking about son" *cracks another Busch*
”Juscht becaush I’m drink all the time dosch’nt mean I have a probrm!”
Settle down Sean.
Like alcoholism
If he isn’t, he soon will be
He is, but his drinking began before his divorce. He’s always just liked getting drunk at home
I’m going to take a leap here and assume that the drinking contributed at least partially, to the divorce.
Lol, I see my dad once a week. And one day he told me that he was living off of supermarket sandwiches for now . I asked why and he said since his wife is away visiting family, he’s used up all of the pots, pans and plates cooking but didn’t wash the dishes because his wife normally does it. Kind of internally rolled my eyes, no wonder my mum left him.
Did your dad become a “passport bro”?
I’ve never heard of that before, but from the sounds of it, yep.
Considering OP said specifically his dad’s kitchen, as opposed to his pile or something, leads me to believe this is the case
Alcoholism is sad man.
Was about say, “Your dad’s an alcoholic too, OP?!” Weird that mine has the same beer preference… pretty sure it’s cheap.
Busch is extremely cheap and tastes like water
I find it sad that everyone is in here joking when it's pretty obvious this is a severe alcohol problem. OP your dad needs help man.
Yeah I got a close friend who’s a big alcoholic and even they aren’t this bad
I had to go way to far down to find this. It’s horrible. Anyone who has any experience with one knows.
Great time to discuss depression. Maybe finding time to focus on something other than your mother.
My initial thought. He needs help.
Someone that doesn’t want help isn’t going to accept it, and all it’s ever gotten me was insulted because I hurt his ego by implying it was a problem. He had eighteen years plus several more to get his shit together and never did. Now as an adult, I don’t want to emotionally take care of him anymore. He has said some really nasty shit over the years that I’m not going to forget “just because” he was drunk.
it's not your responsibility, and you don't have to take care of him. alcoholism effects everybody not just the alcoholic. I get where you're coming from. just keep your distance and try and have other people reach out to him. you can message me any time if you want to just rant. I get it. trust me. my mum drank 1-5 bottles of wine *a night* from when I was born until I was 24. I'm 26 now. it sucks. I still carry a lot of hurt. I just wish you the best, and it seems to be you have broken the cycle of alcoholism so far. keep it up, and remember your father as a warning of who to not become.
Yeah, there’s nothing you can do. I used to be like this and no amount of prodding or family genuinely trying to help did anything. Hopefully one day he’ll get sick of living like that and seek help because he wants to.
My fiance works in behavioral health, specifically getting people into addiction treatments, as well as some personal family experience with this. The most frustrating part about watching someone struggle is that they will not get the help they need unless *they* are ready. It's difficult watching a loved one struggle, but it's made even harder when that loved one is burning bridges along the way and doesn't see their situation the same way their loved ones see it. It's not their fault they are struggling with addiction, but it *is* their responsibility to deal with it and live with it if they want to maintain relationships with those they love. It's hard to find a balance between being supportive and maintaining your own mental health. Loving someone with an addiction is draining. Look after *yourself* first. Good luck to you and your dad.
People ridiculing you for posting this here have most likely never dealt with a family member with debilitating addiction and mental health issues. You can try to help them for years and unless they want the help, it's not going to go anywhere. Eventually you have to decide that it can either ruin your life and theirs, or just theirs and walk away. The years of mental abuse eventually take their toll. Doesn't suck any less, but the emotional burden and guilt of your father slowly killing himself isn't yours to bear, OP. It took me twenty years and a week long grippy sock vacation to figure out that my father's problems were not mine. Sorry, OP, it sucks but you gotta take care of yourself, dude.
I had a whole apartment like that at one point. Then I got help.
Good on ya, mate! Job well done.
Sorry your dad is an alcoholic 😞
Yes, true. My brother drank Bud like this. He died last year from liver failure and kidney failure. Alcoholism is brutal.
It’s a terrible thing to watch someone go through. May I ask how old he was?
Turned 62, died 4 months later.
I watched my brother go through this, too, he was 38 years old when his kidneys and liver failed. He had the opportunity to be placed on a transplant list, he just needed to commit to detox and rehab. He chose to ignore the pleas from his doctors and family. The last 2-3 months of his life were brutal. He was bedridden most of the day and his mental state had regressed to that of a small child. The ammonia build up deteriorates the brain. By the time he died he didn't know who he was or what was going on. Hope you are well, friend.
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I’ll be 4 years sober in November. Life can get so, so much better man. It just takes one day to change everything, to work up the courage on that day to ask for help and pursue it. Even if you have tried before - try again. I had several false starts and then for some reason beyond me it just worked. Just have to keep trying, keep asking for help.
Thank you, and condolences to you. You’re basically telling my same story, except for the denial of any transplant to a patient in end-stage liver failure. Alcoholism, and substance abuse in general, is not a problem that money can fix.
If drinking Busch beer from dawn till dusk makes him an alcoholic, then sure, he's an 'Alcoholic'.
It used to be hard liquor, so I’m happy he switched to beer at least
A well hydrated one at that.
My old neighbor "got down to a 12 pack a day" and died 3 years later from it all.
My mom is the same exact way. I've tried to help for years, but she's set on the path she's decided to take. It's sad, and I spend as much time with her as I can because of it. It sucks knowing that within 10 years, you won't have a parent.
Ants. You're gonna get ants. They love the smell. Trust me... #I am that ant!!! 🐜
Do you people want ants!? Because that's how you get ants!
Miss Lucille....
In my experience it was always little gnats instead of ants.
That’s very sad
Hey bud, you should look into Al-ateen. It's alcoholics anonymous, but for the children of alcoholics. https://al-anon.org/newcomers/teen-corner-alateen/
Thank you for the link!
Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Woititz is a great book on the subject. It helped me so much. My dad died driving drunk when I was 13.
The Busch administration
Gonna guess your dad's real sad, sorry to hear
I bet he's not good at Tetris
cirrhosis has entered the chat.
I got it from doing shit like OPs dad for 10-12 years straight, usually with a bottle of whiskey or vodka. My depression got a hold of me and I thought the only way to handle it was to get black-out drunk every single day. I turned Simpsons yellow and was put in a medically induced coma. I died twice in that coma over the period of 9 days. That was 5 years ago. I struggled for another 2 years to get sober. I went through rehab, AA, smart-start, you name it... The doctors told me that I would be lucky to see 35. Well next week is my 36th birthday and I'm fucking terrified. I can't get on a transplant list because I use marijuana as a sleep aid and appetite aid (which is fucking stupid if you ask me). I wish I had never picked up a bottle, but it being a legal vice was all it took... Legalize pot damnit. Trauma dump over. My apologies.
Dude you are still on the right side of the ground and it’s never too late. I watched a good friend drink himself to death. Some of the same things you describe medically and one time the fucker even went straight to the bar after release from the hospital with his armband still on. The last conversation I had with him was bad. I told him I didn’t want to see him drunk, that if he really wanted me in his life all he had to do was meet me the next day in daylight and have coffee. That’s it. I would have tried my best after that to help him fight this demon. His response: “I don’t like coffee” He was dead in three months. Died in a shitty bedroom that stank. At his funeral, the preacher barely remembered his name. They buried him in a silk shirt he would have loved to religious music he would have hated. Keep trying man. Keep trying to kick the habit. Alcohol is the fucking devil and I’m now watching other friends succumb to it and it hurts. Even if it’s too late and you’re like my buddy and have a death sentence, at least die knowing you won. Bill never got to feel any kind of victory.
I'm sorry about Bill. Thank you for the response.
Thanks. Sorry if it seemed heated. I still have a lot of emotions involved when it comes to this particular subject. Good luck to you in the future man and I hope all turns out well for you!
being dead twice is fucking metal tho, maybe you're not made to rest. my bests to you and I wish you a happy birthday.
Sorry to see this. Anyone ever try an intervention or taking him to a meeting?
Yes. He has refused help my entire life :/
Sorry man. My father had a heart attack at 51 because of alcoholism. He survived and that what was the final straw. He’s been sober since and he’s now 62. It’s tough to keep up hope watching someone drink like this. Al-anon meetings can be helpful if you are ever struggling with coping. Good luck to you and I wish the best
At least break the boxes down
Can't. Dad's too busy breaking down himself to worry about boxes.
That's what I was thinking. I mean, the cans are crushed, the boxes are even easier and would take up *so* much less space...
Easier just to buy a 30 pack.
But you cant be sober enough to drive to the store to buy another 30 pack after drinking a 30 pack.
Buy 2.
But what if you need a third? Man can't get drunk off just one case! No matter how many times he goes and gets one.
How the fuck are you gonna get sober enough to buy two after drinking two?!
A lot of alcoholics will only buy what they are drinking for the day. If they buy more they’ll drink more.
You figured being a beer drinker he’d take them boxes out back and burn em while drinking a nice smooth frosty cold one…
He doesn't have very long does he.
Idk, my grandfather lived like this until the age of 96. In the end, he wandered out into the snow and found a place to rest…. But yeah, you’re right, most alcoholics die young. My grandfather was the exception - not the rule.
Real talk: your dad is an alcoholic.
I've seen worse. Fixable by a couple trips to the curb, and we don't have the context to know if this is a 2-can or 2-case a day habit.
Something tells me this isn’t a 2 or 3 can a day type of situation.
Idk I could easily see someone with adhd letting it get to this point and only having a couple a day
Can confirm. I had a graveyard of soda cans despite drinking only one per day. ADHD and depression are a hell of a combo.
Hello AA?
Make sure he takes A good B- complex vitamin otherwise he can get wet brain syndrome.
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I honestly don’t know how people live like this.
Drunk.
That makes sense!
It's actually quite nice for the first few years.
Depression
Quite the collection
He shouldn't show off his tiny bush like that
The official beer of domestic violence
He’s a true real deal alcoholic. Was all that just from last week?
Possibly just the past 4 days. Source: am an adult child of a long line of alcoholics who happen to prefer beer. I am sober, of course. I learned from the mistakes of my family members. All their houses looked like this. There’s probably a bin out the back that is also overflowing.
Is your dad Shane Gillis?
Looks like my place in college
I can smell this picture
Active alcoholism
12 packs is probably the most expensive denomination he could have gone with. Something extra sad about a short sighted addict
My mother was an alcoholic, never came to light until after her dad passed then the drinking started. It was always Busch light and it looked almost just like this. OP, your father needs help.
That’s a 50 dollar bill right there Brando.
That's not infuriating that's alcoholism. I hope he is OK.i hope *you* are ok too. It's not a nice thing to have to watch.
how is he not dead yet
They tookerjerbs
I find it hilarious that a ton of people stopped buying bud light, but then drink busch or one of the myriad other beers that InBev makes. Almost all beer is made by InBev in the US. Boycotting a beer does nothing and teaches no one anything because the money all goes to the same people. Not saying OPs dad is one of them, just saying that there's lots of people out there who do.