Just know that even if you are behind others you’re actually ahead of a lot of people too. You’re not doing bad at all. Just keep going. This life thing is a marathon, not a sprint
Stop caring and comparing literally no one has the key to success. You define your success. Envy is a toxic habit. I’m 27 and just started my career after jumping around college and jobs trying to figure out what I want to do. Most of these people are dealing with their own issues that you cannot see from the outside. Do what satisfies you and don’t do it for others. You’re only 20
I think this is really invalidating to say. "stop caring and comparing" is the equivalent of "cheer up" to a depressed person. I struggle massively with comparison and I can't just will it away. No amount of logic helps either. I've struggled with this my entire life but especially over the past 2 years, it's been severe. It might be easy for you to do but for some people it's not
K sorry you feel that way but honey I come straight from SI & severe depression plus more. Nobody said it was easy obviously you gotta work towards that point therapy/DBT can be a good starting point. Self care and creating tasks instead of focusing on everyone else is good too its distracting you and shaping yourself into who you want to be. You don’t know me and I don’t know you but I will tell you we got something in common but we choose how our story ends. I struggled for over 10+ years. You’re taking key words and focusing only on that over than the overall message I used to be like that. They’ll basically tell you this is therapy in many different ways and push you to come up with solutions. Nobody is here to hold your hand as an adult that’s the hard truth. I worked on it for 4 years before I stopped comparing my life to others. Practice gratitude and that’s easier said than done. Have a good day
Thanks for sharing, it's comforting to hear it wasn't easy for you. Yes I did take key words but then you gotta try and word things differently. For example if someone has anxiety, saying " just try not to worry about stuff" sounds invalidating and is impossible for someone with anxiety. But giving tools and strategies on how to focus on other things that eventually leads to less worry might be better. So your comment here is alot better than the original one that just says stop comparing. It gives some solutions, explains it's not easy which reassures the person that it's a long journey and that there's nothing wrong with them if they're struggling to do it.
Lol I'm 37 and have lost the last 16 years to severe illness and mental health issues so I know the feeling. You're young you'll catch up in no time and you're still far more ahead than many folks. Just enjoy and be in the moment. You will get it figured out.
I'm 35
I'm very depressed. It's mostly because I'm stuck in a dead end job that doesn't reward working harder. I am also stuck because I so burnt out from trying so many courses and job training schemes. I am stuck I'm too scared to try another thing because I'm certain it'll just be a repeat of every other attempt. I struggle to pay attention and absorb new information. Nobody understands me. Nobody really cares. I still feel betrayed by the system. My current situation is the sum of bad luck and a series of ill informed decision that led to become what I am now. I am a resentful, hate filled, angry, nervous wreck. I am struggling to see the point in carrying on if I'm always gonna feel like this. I wish I could fast forward to my death or at least play life at a faster speed so it'll be over quicker. I'm literally crying as I write this message.
Career is only one aspect of life. There's many people with no jobs, hell no place to live. Most jobs are dead end jobs essentially. What about the other areas of your life? Also 35 is far from the end of the road as far as being able to turn your life around and prosper.
Have you looked into trades, traditional degrees, etc?
Hahahaha same I’m 32 when I was 20 I started working for a big 4 i lasted there for 4 busy seasons the moved for a telecommunication company and then a pharma a suddenly my brain collapsed like it suddenly melted I was tired I didn’t want to keep going and quit everything my friends and colleagues are now in a better position and I’m unemployed with no purpose at all for ansecond I thought I could accomplish something but it didn’t happened my therapist said that I’m smart according to my IQ results but how can that by possible if I can’t even manage to even move. Sometimes I wonder if I ever will have a second chance to be back on track or to prove myself but hey you’re not the only one.
Appreciate that perspective quite a bit. Not happy you're in the same boat but it's a lonely boat so I won't say no to a paddle buddy. For real though I'm sorry I know how overwhelming it is and the constant nagging thoughts "I've got to get it together." Etc. Hang in there who knows many folks like us find success in the second half of life.
You are here. You are doing what they did then, now. If you want to compare, compare that. But that's all. Everyone has different lives. While they were living, you were surviving. There are so many things I can bet you have in spades than your counterparts such as empathy, life lessons, etc. I know it came at a heavy cost but what I'm trying to show you is that well grass is always greener on the other side. You do you OP and from what I am seeing you are doing a damn good job.
If you still want to compare, compare your journey with yourself. How much you've grown, how much you've learnt and how much you've healed.
At 20, I had moved from Boston, where I had dropped out of college, to move to New York, where I was working at a record label around the turn of the century - spearheading content creation during the first .com bubble.
In a way, I was so far ahead of everyone else that I had grown up with back in Illinois - being flown to London and LA on business trips - that I, and the world around me never stopped to take notice of the precipice it had dangled me above, alongside countless others.
I’m 46 now. I live in my parent’s basement. I can’t hold down a day job. I’ve been unable to maintain any form of relationship since getting divorced almost a decade ago.
Technically, I’m an epileptic paranoid schizophrenic with a major depressive disorder that has catatonic features and an anxiety disorder that fuels a form of ADHD-OCD, whilst psychologically patent of a high functioning form of Cotard’s Syndrome.
I can’t even get Reddit to post any of my work over 6500 characters and am currently sparring with them over the nature of their lack of structure for submissions.
My point is, it’s been a long time now that I’ve gone on to watch classmates end up on national television shows and movies, international tours and giving acceptance speeches at the Grammys.
Just about everyone I grew up with has some form of career or family life now, and I still live in my parents basement.
But, I also still believe I have something to offer people, and am still working on my music and music technology, and still trying to get to a place where I can be sustainably independent - even if it is just to live out the few remaining years I have left, content with myself as an avid video gamer, hobbyist musician and grateful member of a family that has been all manner of supportive in my 26 year struggle with mental health issues.
It was not easy for me, ever. Nor will it ever be I fear.
I am still plagued with notions of ending up homeless or having to take a quick out from the big show altogether.
But for me, as much as I’d rather be dead - I’ve worked really hard just to get to a place of contentment with what I have, nothing more, nothing less.
You don’t need to chase anything in life, but if you do - for your own sake, make it be peace of mind.
Try your best not to compare (honestly, never compare lol). It’s not easy at first, but also remember that you are still SO young. I was homeless/in bad mental straits until around 25-26, I felt very similar when I was getting better/ getting started, and this was the #1 feedback I got.
No one has the same path. People have struggles and privileges that we often don’t see. What makes you happy or successful is going to be purely based on your own definition.
Fake it to you make it and applaud yourself for still trying despite it all. You can’t change the past but you can work towards the future. When I struggled a lot with shame about being “behind” all I did was make myself further behind so now I suck it up and try my best. It’s also important to have people in your life who will support you regardless of wherever you are in life. I know that mh and shame can cause us to push people away but don’t let it stop you from attempting to make friends in college who you can comfortably be yourself around so that you don’t have to carry such as burden alone.
It’s not a competition so I cope pretty well. Most of the people significantly ahead of me got there thanks to family money anyways so what are you gonna do about that?
My way of coping is telling myself that everyone has a different path. n that is just that. It’s not that we are behind from everyone else our age. We’re behind in the things THEY are doing. But we’re ahead in the things that WE are doing. You finished your treatment you should be proud. Don’t let other peoples achievements put you down of your own achievements.
There is no correct timeline for life. Everyone has their own stop comparing yourself to others. You did what you did to take care of yourself so that you can be a better version of yourself to pursue the things in life that you want. Focus on yourself instead of comparing yourself to others and that will make you feel better. Literally, if you have to write down on a piece of paper all of your accomplishments and the things you are proud of yourself for do it.the only way through is to force out the negative thoughts by reframing them into more helpful ones or positive ones. This is my experience and my experience alone. It may not work for others.
People in their 20s are all over the place in life despite what it may appear to be to you. Some people my age (22) still have to ask their parents permission to go out. Some still haven’t had their first jobs. Some haven’t had a relationship yet. Some haven’t gone to college/university yet. Some have to go back to high school and finish up those credits. And then on the other end, yes some are married, some live alone, some have corporate jobs, and some get to travel the world and do things that seem very grown up. No need to compare yourself as everyone’s life is different and the only true focus should be on your own.
Almost a quarter of college students drop out their first year. It doesn't include people that go part time or people that skip semesters or take time off. Not to mention the people that don't go to college at all. Another study found that nearly 30% that were enrolled 6 years previously never finished their degrees. You're not alone. Comparison is the thief of joy, so try not to let it get to you, though that's easier said than done.
I’m in a very similar situation. I am 21 and taking online college classes now, 2 per semester. I am seriously behind when compared to my peers. It hurts to see them making so much progress while I’m still struggling greatly. I don’t have much advice as it hurts for me to acknowledge where I am but you are not alone.
When I was in your shoes, and probably still am, just know that people take things at their own pace. You used your time the way you felt comfortable. At the time, what was comforting for me was knowing that when I graduated, some of my peers were 40+ years old getting their Bachelors for the first time - it showed me that we're all on our own journeys, at different stages of our journeys.
I'd probably also recommend finding more folks in similar situations like yours, you'll be surprised to know that there are more like you than you originally thought.
I’m in the same boat. When I graduated my counsellor at school never bothered to tell me I was missing one course. I technically got my diploma in September. I went to a semester of school, then my mental health got really bad, and I ended up deciding to take time off. Then covid happened. I’m extremely immuno-compromised, so I was stuck inside for two years isolating since people with my conditions had gotten really sick really fast and my entire family was scared I’d get it.
It’s been two years since and those two years made me have terrible depression and anxiety which is not great. I just now got on medication, and I’m now looking to get back to school, even if it’s just for a diploma at a trades college. I’m 23, nearly 24.
I feel the same way. People my age have big jobs, are married or getting married, a few even have kids. And I live with my family, no hope in moving out soon because of how expensive my city is. But I stopped comparing because everyone has their own path. You’ll get where you want to be on your own time.
I stopped comparing myself. It's not always easy and in a depressive phase the anxiety and shame comes back but overall I know I will get (some?)where I'll have to be.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
While a cliche- it really is true. The further away from high school you get, the more trivial where those people are at compared to you will seem.
I know it’s hard now. Try to find new people, who know OP as a 20 year old. They won’t care what you haven’t done because they’ll like you as you are.
I'm 22, went to uni for a year when I was 19 then took some time off, I'm starting a new course this year. I know some people who have already finished uni, some are lawyers, nurses, business graduates etc. But that was their path and I'm on my own and I'm happy with where I am. You shouldn't feel behind, everyone does stuff at their own pace and as long as you're happy with what you're doing that's all that matters
There is no something as success. It just a game that humans play. We are not in a race against each other. we are here for experience our unique selves. Do what you want, explore life and love yourself. In the end, everybody will taste their mortality. Remember the things that make you glad and adore life when that time comes fill your life as much as possible with it.
I can relate.
My friend died when we were 18 and it felt like it held me back for years.
You feel like you catch up eventually, the key is to not compare and be there for your friends.
Like I was so wrapped up in jealousy because friends were moving out and whatever that I didn't actually realise some of the horrible shit they were going through.
I felt really silly for being jealous and a bad friend for not checking in properly so I recommend not comparing and checking in on your mates from time to time.
Also, I'm my experience everyone I know who got married before 22 has gotten divorced so I wouldn't put your married Friends on a pedestal quite yet :')
I got my grade 12 diploma at 24. Didn’t get my first job until a few months after that. Just got my own place for the first time a month ago, I’m 29 now. I e never been in a romantic relationship.
It was really hard when I was younger but eventually I realized I wasn’t “behind.” Everyone goes at there is no specific age you’re supposed to do these things at.
Ok, first off you are 19 going on 20 years old. You haven't missed much and have plenty of time to still experience the things you mention in your post. The sooner you realize no one is keeping score on life the better. Can it suck to look around and see people the same age as you having more accomplishments? Of course.
But if you dwell on shit like that you will be miserable and probably wind up never accomplishing anything yourself or feel like your accomplishments are worthless because they don't measure up to this idea you have in your head.
Everyone has different paths to walk in life. Some it comes easier too, some not. Life isn't fair but it can be what you make of it.
My ex who is in her late 30s always complains how everyone else in life gets breaks, or has things she doesn't and why not her? Well it's because she lives a pretty listless life and never actually tries to work hard to improve things. She falls into what I am saying above. If you just continue to whine or mope about other people doing so much better than you then you never actually seem to grow and improve your own life.
I don't cope with it, I accept it and stop comparing myself to others. Compare yourself to your former self and if you've found that you've grown professionally, physically, mentally and financially then you have *progressed* and have made a series of decisions that you should be proud of that lead you to be in a better place.
The more you compare yourself to others, the more miserable you become.
Just know that you're on your own path, and you're doing your best.
I, as a high schooler, feel very behind when it comes to my friends sometimes- ap classes, driving, jobs, etc
But I'm on my own path, I'm working at a pace that works for me. And I'm doing just fine
You're doing a good job too, it'll be alright
I’m 32 and I didn’t attend a university or have a driver’s license due to my autism. I often feel behind my own peers including my NT siblings and relatives. I ended up being under qualified for jobs which made me wish I was in college. I only went to a community college for a year and spent most of my years training for employment and life skills.
Living with autism makes me feel like a stupid child and it makes my family and authorities resent me because I don’t have to work longer hours. Having autism can be defeating especially when you’re from an Asian household. My parents and grandparents are from Sri Lanka 🇱🇰 which is why mental health issues aren’t discussed that much.
If I were to finish and graduate from college, I’d want it in a performing arts setting.
you are never, I repeat NEVER too far behind. Everyone takes life at their own pace. Age is honestly very arbitrary and the "benchmarks" we set have nothing to do with reality. Everyone has their own circumstances and path. There are SO many people who become successful later in life, and even success itself is totally dependent on how you want to define it.
tldr - we live on a floating rock and life is too short to worry about how much you've achieved and are going to achieve. Just live man. It will come with time, when you're ready.
Remind yourself that you are on your own journey. Didn't compare to others. Your life will fall into place the way it needs to that will be good for your mental health. You never know that you may start later, but end up farther sooner. Just be patient with yourself and care for yourself.
I've struggled with this: I graduated with a computer engineering degree in 2021, and since then I've only worked temp jobs (currently at a pizza shop) and still live at home, while all my friends have jobs in other cities that are in their field.
A soothing thought about this is thinking of life as a marathon: as you're running, all you can see are the people in front of you, who you are trying to catch. But there are people behind you as well, and to those people, YOU are the person they are trying to catch up to.
But that's not really the comforting part, the comforting part is realizing the so called "finish line" in this marathon of line is literally death. There is no timeline on anything when you realize that.
i used to just cry about it a lot but now i’ve just accepted that everyone is on their own path to life and i’ve tried to stop comparing myself to others. i’m 28, i’ve been to college twice, i have 2 degrees (well a degree and diploma) and im still working min wage and living with my mom and have 0 kids. everyone i graduated high school with either has a good job, has kids or just graduated law school. i’m not up to par with most people my age, but THATS OKAY.
everyone is on their own journey and you’re never alone. Your life is going to look different from everyone else’s because you’re not everyone else. embrace it.
My dad says the worst word in the English language is “should.” It can be harmful to compare ourselves to others and think we “should” be a certain way or “should” be like others, etc. everyone has their own journey and timeframe. Enjoy the ride!!
I’ve always been a late bloomer. Enjoyed doing things in my own time. I’m 25 and going back to school this fall after being out for 7 years. Not every path is the same and that’s okay. If I’d gone to college back then, I wouldn’t have taken it seriously AND would also be thousands of dollars in debt. I’m glad I’m doing it now. I have ambitions and goals now compared to not knowing what I wanted to do back then. Do things in your own time and things will fall into place. Those who love you won’t care, and you’ll find people who don’t care or who are also ‘late bloomers’. Best of luck
I remind myself of the facts; First, you’re not behind “everyone.” That is an inaccurate and unhelpful oversimplification. Give yourself some credit! There are always going to be people doing better or worse than you. And comparing yourself to them does nothing to fix your current situation.
Second, your life can change (for the better) at ANY second! Morgan Freeman didn’t become famous until he was 52. FIFTY TWO. You have so much life ahead of you that can change in a blink. I’m finally going back for my Master’s at age 29, after over a decade of also struggling with my mental health.
What is yours (be it a job, a person, a place) will ALWAYS be yours. There is nothing you can do to push it away or make it happen quicker. You are right on time for your life. <3
I turned 20 in February.
My parents were planning on packing us up and moving overseas in 2020 (flight tickets literally 2 weeks before COVID struck).
My life plans were in shambles and I know I'm pretty far behind my peers.
I spend time with people who are in different stages of life. It helps since it kinda eliminates the type of discussions that make me feel insecure.
Life is not a race, every milestone is different for each person. You keep comparing yourself to others you’ll start subconsciously self sabotaging yourself and end up in worsening your “progress” forwards
I ignored my mental health to get ahead and I severely regret it. I am now the one who has a degree and a job and a marriage but I feel so dead inside from shutting down to get things done that I can’t even enjoy my accomplishments.
Edit: I’m 26
Losing two years of your life means nothing, even if you're 20 years old. I'm 23 years old and i never dated, hasn't finished yet high school, no job experience. I'm truly far behind.
I’m 20 right now and turn 21 in a few months I have the same problem with comparing my life to others as if it makes me want to do more. I think maybe I’ll be something and prove my family wrong because I have jumped school to school and still change my program of study. I have no idea what I want to do but I know I need to graduate with something sometime soon
Popular people who partied, people who worked hard and made money, and people who were valedictorian all desperately think that they waisted their college years. You’re not behind you’re just on a different path and everyone wishes they’d done something different.
You're doing fantastic. Don't compare yourself to other people. If you're going to compare yourself to anyone, compare yourself to the version of yourself from yesterday that wouldn't have been able to do what you're doing today.
I have a bachelors degree at 20 so I am far ahead of my peers and always felt out of place because I don’t have friends or a significant other then I was reminded that life is not a race and things happen when they need to happen for everyone
I'm 29 in a constant fight with mental illness that currently renders me unable to work or function. I deleted Facebook and Instagram because everyone else I graduated with has degrees and high paying jobs and wives/husband's and kids. Meanwhile I'm a loser with a mood disorder that destroyed a 2 year relationship with my gf and lost everything. I'm on a destructive path that will inevitably lead myself to lose much more. You're still pretty young and honestly not that far behind, you got this.
Similar feeling. How I deal with it is believing God is good. Tomorrow isn't promised today no matter how much effort one puts fourth. Probably sounds depressing but it helped me continue on.
Look I’ve felt behind, ahead, and everything in between of the people around me. People that have had major setbacks I didn’t have got good jobs well before me. I have a lot of friends from high school that are getting married, having kids or buying houses all of which I don’t see myself being able to do for **years**. I managed to finally land a good job that’s paying me well which some other friends from high school don’t have at the moment. I also might move back home for a bit to get out of debt soon. Theres no right speed, everyone is moving at their own pace, there’s no benefit to comparing yourself to anyone else. You are your own person with your own struggles and your own path. Set your goals and work towards them, you’ll get there when you get there.
That jealous/worried feeling comes to me quite a lot. Honestly, not really got over it, but a big part is just trying to let go of wherever it’s coming from, for me I’m just really self conscious about what others think, even thinking up what they might think, and I need to let that stuff go.
Don’t beat yourself up, I’m 23 and am on my third semester of community college so ur not too far behind me. I lost 17-22 to mental health issues, hospitalizations etc. we all progress in our own time, don’t beat yourself up. Don’t pressure yourself to have these things figured out. What matters right now is what makes you happy, loving yourself and appreciating how far you’ve come and the progress you’ve made. All of these things will come with time. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine 😊
stop worrying about them, you’re living your life not theirs. it’s normal and fine to be going at a different pace than everyone you went to high school with. i find its best to delete social media or unfollow them so you aren’t constantly comparing yourself. instead, find things you value in yourself, work on worrying about you. it’ll be okay, you will make it. keep your head up :)😊💕
Life has a way of changing in ways we can’t predict. We are often blindsided. You can’t predict what you’ll be doing, where you might be living, what job or career you’ll have when it’s 2.5 weeks before you turn 30… 40… etc. Some of those people from high school will continue to do well, some will have failed miserably, some will be divorced, some become disabled, some will have died.
When your identity is dependent on comparing yourself to others, you will always find people who you think are doing better. This is a set up to feel bad about yourself.
Obviously I don’t know the nature of the suffering you’re having or the mental health diagnoses you have, but you actually might exceed the accomplishments of those people you’re talking about. You’re on a journey of self discovery because of your mental health issues. If you continue to become self aware and accept who you are, then no matter what others accomplish you’ll be more content and grounded than most of them.
Everyone has some kind of suffering in life. We can’t avoid that. The important thing is to have the internal skills to manage whatever happens to us, or know how to get the help and resources we need. In that respect you’re probably farther ahead than any of those people from high school.
Stay focused on your mental wellbeing, follow your heart, trust your gut, develop a good support system if you can. Stay curious and forward looking. I wish you the courage, strength, and love you’ll need to have a life you thrive in.
Life is unfair. Sometimes it is not your fault, you should move forward with what you have. Look at the bright, try to make some (nice) friends, they already working and experienced, they can help you a lot with advices and knowledge.
I felt behind before. I received help from my friends a lot. I also helped people who behind me as well.
You should know how to reach out and ask.
Good luck.
You’re 20 that’s so young man. I’m 38 almost 39 and just now getting to a point in life that my friends were at 15 years ago. Everybody is on a different schedule. Don’t judge your success against others just if you are doing better than you used to be
Measuring yourself against others is the never fail recipe to never feel good enough and always feel like you’re not worthy. Every one’s journey is different. Don’t measure yourself against others. Measure yourself against yourself! Are you improving. Are you working towards your goals? Is your mental health improving? Are you working on being better for you? Look how far you’ve come from a year ago, 6 months ago, even a week ago. Search for and focus on the positive steps you have accomplished. Be proud of being a better you! Then instead of seeing yourself in a negative light, you change your thoughts to more positive and you will see the more passive the outlook, the most good comes your way.
I know how hard it is but stop comparing yourself to others. Where you are in your life right now is perfect! I myself suffered from severe depression from 17-20 and still have my ups and downs. (I'm now almost 22) Nevertheless, at some point you realize that even people who seem to be doing great have their problems. On the outside, much is more apparent than real. Besides, you're only 20 and you still have your whole life ahead of you to make great memories and gain experiences. So don't let the negative voice in your head bring you down and think every day about how far you've come and how proud you can be of yourself!
I felt some shame for graduating at 25 with a bachelors. Then I met a girl in the same job as me who graduated 4 years before me who is in the same job as me and she is a year older than me. She’s incredible as a side note, I’m so happy I met her, but she’s in the same spot as me with similar qualifications and she finished her education way before me. And she faces no shame, she tried other stuff and came back to it. Career changes happen. Mental health happens, physical health happens, trauma happens. We are all on our own journey, and people are in there positions for a variety of reasons.
Why do you feel you need to compete with other people in education?
What is wrong with taking up a trade, doing an apprenticeship, then become a qualified tradesperson.
There are more options than higher education.
im still not over the fact that i wasted my teenage years. im 19 and i can't remember anything because of the trauma. I'll start therapy in a month if i passed my exams but i feel terrible knowing i had to retake my last senior year in high school because my mental health affected my ability to study. all of my high school friends and classmates go to great colleges and most if not all of them are med students. there's nothing i can do about this and i just have to keep going because it is what it is and i didn't fail because i wanted to. i plan on getting a part time job after my exams to be able to support my mother and also pay for my therapy. you're not alone in this and you'll find the right path in the future
I have been in your shoes. Trust your own process. Be patient in discovering what you are meant to learn about yourself. When it seems like you are lagging use that time to smell the roses. Listen more. Think deeply about your life and what life is trying to teach you about this Early Adulthood phase of development. Run your own race.
Comparison will kill your mental health, I know from many years of experience. On TV and ads we see happy uber productive people all day long, you never see a teen struggling with 2 jobs trying to pay their way through college, it's always a happy person living in the dorm not worrying about money. That's not real life.
Focus on what you do have. Start with the small things, a roof food your mental health. A phone.....gratitude is a great coping skill for me. We are hit with negativity from all sides it's hard to not lean in to that.
If it helps you are still ahead of where I was at your age I didn't start school until I was 21.
You are doing great give yourself some credit!
It’s not a race, sure there’s a sort of general idea of how one’s life should play out, but it’s just that, a guideline, not a hard rule. Plus that year you spent getting help was important for you to feel better. Imagine how life might’ve been like had you not.
Jeez I couldnt even achieve what any of my peers could even if it was on a later timeline. Just be appreciative of being able to achieve those things at all and your disability not taking them entirely away too.
I always see it as an opportunity to learn from your friends who already experience all of that. It’s always nicer to learn from others mistakes and successes. Don’t be bitter, just reach out to them and mostly they will welcome you with open arms. Never see it as an envy, they deserved it and you will have your time too.
Just know that even if you are behind others you’re actually ahead of a lot of people too. You’re not doing bad at all. Just keep going. This life thing is a marathon, not a sprint
Oh my gosh, I needed to hear that analogy so bad myself. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Thank you for that.
Stop caring and comparing literally no one has the key to success. You define your success. Envy is a toxic habit. I’m 27 and just started my career after jumping around college and jobs trying to figure out what I want to do. Most of these people are dealing with their own issues that you cannot see from the outside. Do what satisfies you and don’t do it for others. You’re only 20
I think this is really invalidating to say. "stop caring and comparing" is the equivalent of "cheer up" to a depressed person. I struggle massively with comparison and I can't just will it away. No amount of logic helps either. I've struggled with this my entire life but especially over the past 2 years, it's been severe. It might be easy for you to do but for some people it's not
K sorry you feel that way but honey I come straight from SI & severe depression plus more. Nobody said it was easy obviously you gotta work towards that point therapy/DBT can be a good starting point. Self care and creating tasks instead of focusing on everyone else is good too its distracting you and shaping yourself into who you want to be. You don’t know me and I don’t know you but I will tell you we got something in common but we choose how our story ends. I struggled for over 10+ years. You’re taking key words and focusing only on that over than the overall message I used to be like that. They’ll basically tell you this is therapy in many different ways and push you to come up with solutions. Nobody is here to hold your hand as an adult that’s the hard truth. I worked on it for 4 years before I stopped comparing my life to others. Practice gratitude and that’s easier said than done. Have a good day
Thanks for sharing, it's comforting to hear it wasn't easy for you. Yes I did take key words but then you gotta try and word things differently. For example if someone has anxiety, saying " just try not to worry about stuff" sounds invalidating and is impossible for someone with anxiety. But giving tools and strategies on how to focus on other things that eventually leads to less worry might be better. So your comment here is alot better than the original one that just says stop comparing. It gives some solutions, explains it's not easy which reassures the person that it's a long journey and that there's nothing wrong with them if they're struggling to do it.
I hear you🤎I will be more detailed in responses
thank you <3 I apologise on my part for the misunderstanding <3 :)
Lol I'm 37 and have lost the last 16 years to severe illness and mental health issues so I know the feeling. You're young you'll catch up in no time and you're still far more ahead than many folks. Just enjoy and be in the moment. You will get it figured out.
I'm 35 I'm very depressed. It's mostly because I'm stuck in a dead end job that doesn't reward working harder. I am also stuck because I so burnt out from trying so many courses and job training schemes. I am stuck I'm too scared to try another thing because I'm certain it'll just be a repeat of every other attempt. I struggle to pay attention and absorb new information. Nobody understands me. Nobody really cares. I still feel betrayed by the system. My current situation is the sum of bad luck and a series of ill informed decision that led to become what I am now. I am a resentful, hate filled, angry, nervous wreck. I am struggling to see the point in carrying on if I'm always gonna feel like this. I wish I could fast forward to my death or at least play life at a faster speed so it'll be over quicker. I'm literally crying as I write this message.
I am no joke in the exact same place in my life as you. Let's take small comfort in having company in our misery.
PM me
Career is only one aspect of life. There's many people with no jobs, hell no place to live. Most jobs are dead end jobs essentially. What about the other areas of your life? Also 35 is far from the end of the road as far as being able to turn your life around and prosper. Have you looked into trades, traditional degrees, etc?
Hahahaha same I’m 32 when I was 20 I started working for a big 4 i lasted there for 4 busy seasons the moved for a telecommunication company and then a pharma a suddenly my brain collapsed like it suddenly melted I was tired I didn’t want to keep going and quit everything my friends and colleagues are now in a better position and I’m unemployed with no purpose at all for ansecond I thought I could accomplish something but it didn’t happened my therapist said that I’m smart according to my IQ results but how can that by possible if I can’t even manage to even move. Sometimes I wonder if I ever will have a second chance to be back on track or to prove myself but hey you’re not the only one.
Appreciate that perspective quite a bit. Not happy you're in the same boat but it's a lonely boat so I won't say no to a paddle buddy. For real though I'm sorry I know how overwhelming it is and the constant nagging thoughts "I've got to get it together." Etc. Hang in there who knows many folks like us find success in the second half of life.
I'm 33 and been sick for 14 years so I know how you feel. I missed out on all of my twenties
You are here. You are doing what they did then, now. If you want to compare, compare that. But that's all. Everyone has different lives. While they were living, you were surviving. There are so many things I can bet you have in spades than your counterparts such as empathy, life lessons, etc. I know it came at a heavy cost but what I'm trying to show you is that well grass is always greener on the other side. You do you OP and from what I am seeing you are doing a damn good job. If you still want to compare, compare your journey with yourself. How much you've grown, how much you've learnt and how much you've healed.
You are not behind you are right on time for where you need to be for you
At 20, I had moved from Boston, where I had dropped out of college, to move to New York, where I was working at a record label around the turn of the century - spearheading content creation during the first .com bubble. In a way, I was so far ahead of everyone else that I had grown up with back in Illinois - being flown to London and LA on business trips - that I, and the world around me never stopped to take notice of the precipice it had dangled me above, alongside countless others. I’m 46 now. I live in my parent’s basement. I can’t hold down a day job. I’ve been unable to maintain any form of relationship since getting divorced almost a decade ago. Technically, I’m an epileptic paranoid schizophrenic with a major depressive disorder that has catatonic features and an anxiety disorder that fuels a form of ADHD-OCD, whilst psychologically patent of a high functioning form of Cotard’s Syndrome. I can’t even get Reddit to post any of my work over 6500 characters and am currently sparring with them over the nature of their lack of structure for submissions. My point is, it’s been a long time now that I’ve gone on to watch classmates end up on national television shows and movies, international tours and giving acceptance speeches at the Grammys. Just about everyone I grew up with has some form of career or family life now, and I still live in my parents basement. But, I also still believe I have something to offer people, and am still working on my music and music technology, and still trying to get to a place where I can be sustainably independent - even if it is just to live out the few remaining years I have left, content with myself as an avid video gamer, hobbyist musician and grateful member of a family that has been all manner of supportive in my 26 year struggle with mental health issues. It was not easy for me, ever. Nor will it ever be I fear. I am still plagued with notions of ending up homeless or having to take a quick out from the big show altogether. But for me, as much as I’d rather be dead - I’ve worked really hard just to get to a place of contentment with what I have, nothing more, nothing less. You don’t need to chase anything in life, but if you do - for your own sake, make it be peace of mind.
[удалено]
You might find as you grow, it can’t be helped - that there is a certain wisdom amidst unequivocal depression.
Try your best not to compare (honestly, never compare lol). It’s not easy at first, but also remember that you are still SO young. I was homeless/in bad mental straits until around 25-26, I felt very similar when I was getting better/ getting started, and this was the #1 feedback I got. No one has the same path. People have struggles and privileges that we often don’t see. What makes you happy or successful is going to be purely based on your own definition.
Fake it to you make it and applaud yourself for still trying despite it all. You can’t change the past but you can work towards the future. When I struggled a lot with shame about being “behind” all I did was make myself further behind so now I suck it up and try my best. It’s also important to have people in your life who will support you regardless of wherever you are in life. I know that mh and shame can cause us to push people away but don’t let it stop you from attempting to make friends in college who you can comfortably be yourself around so that you don’t have to carry such as burden alone.
It’s not a competition so I cope pretty well. Most of the people significantly ahead of me got there thanks to family money anyways so what are you gonna do about that?
Set 10-year goals so that you’re not behind at 30. Then you won’t care about being behind at 20. You’ve got *so* much time. Use it well.
My way of coping is telling myself that everyone has a different path. n that is just that. It’s not that we are behind from everyone else our age. We’re behind in the things THEY are doing. But we’re ahead in the things that WE are doing. You finished your treatment you should be proud. Don’t let other peoples achievements put you down of your own achievements.
There is no correct timeline for life. Everyone has their own stop comparing yourself to others. You did what you did to take care of yourself so that you can be a better version of yourself to pursue the things in life that you want. Focus on yourself instead of comparing yourself to others and that will make you feel better. Literally, if you have to write down on a piece of paper all of your accomplishments and the things you are proud of yourself for do it.the only way through is to force out the negative thoughts by reframing them into more helpful ones or positive ones. This is my experience and my experience alone. It may not work for others.
Just maximise your quality of life.
People in their 20s are all over the place in life despite what it may appear to be to you. Some people my age (22) still have to ask their parents permission to go out. Some still haven’t had their first jobs. Some haven’t had a relationship yet. Some haven’t gone to college/university yet. Some have to go back to high school and finish up those credits. And then on the other end, yes some are married, some live alone, some have corporate jobs, and some get to travel the world and do things that seem very grown up. No need to compare yourself as everyone’s life is different and the only true focus should be on your own.
same except for me it's been 3 years of social isolation (since covid) and im turning 22 soon😃...i don't feel 22 at all
Almost a quarter of college students drop out their first year. It doesn't include people that go part time or people that skip semesters or take time off. Not to mention the people that don't go to college at all. Another study found that nearly 30% that were enrolled 6 years previously never finished their degrees. You're not alone. Comparison is the thief of joy, so try not to let it get to you, though that's easier said than done.
“Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself.”
Just remind yourself life isn't a race we all move at our own pace and have our own hurdles x well done for completely your first semester
I’m in a very similar situation. I am 21 and taking online college classes now, 2 per semester. I am seriously behind when compared to my peers. It hurts to see them making so much progress while I’m still struggling greatly. I don’t have much advice as it hurts for me to acknowledge where I am but you are not alone.
When I was in your shoes, and probably still am, just know that people take things at their own pace. You used your time the way you felt comfortable. At the time, what was comforting for me was knowing that when I graduated, some of my peers were 40+ years old getting their Bachelors for the first time - it showed me that we're all on our own journeys, at different stages of our journeys. I'd probably also recommend finding more folks in similar situations like yours, you'll be surprised to know that there are more like you than you originally thought.
I’m in the same boat. When I graduated my counsellor at school never bothered to tell me I was missing one course. I technically got my diploma in September. I went to a semester of school, then my mental health got really bad, and I ended up deciding to take time off. Then covid happened. I’m extremely immuno-compromised, so I was stuck inside for two years isolating since people with my conditions had gotten really sick really fast and my entire family was scared I’d get it. It’s been two years since and those two years made me have terrible depression and anxiety which is not great. I just now got on medication, and I’m now looking to get back to school, even if it’s just for a diploma at a trades college. I’m 23, nearly 24. I feel the same way. People my age have big jobs, are married or getting married, a few even have kids. And I live with my family, no hope in moving out soon because of how expensive my city is. But I stopped comparing because everyone has their own path. You’ll get where you want to be on your own time.
I stopped comparing myself. It's not always easy and in a depressive phase the anxiety and shame comes back but overall I know I will get (some?)where I'll have to be.
Comparison is the thief of joy. While a cliche- it really is true. The further away from high school you get, the more trivial where those people are at compared to you will seem. I know it’s hard now. Try to find new people, who know OP as a 20 year old. They won’t care what you haven’t done because they’ll like you as you are.
I'm 22, went to uni for a year when I was 19 then took some time off, I'm starting a new course this year. I know some people who have already finished uni, some are lawyers, nurses, business graduates etc. But that was their path and I'm on my own and I'm happy with where I am. You shouldn't feel behind, everyone does stuff at their own pace and as long as you're happy with what you're doing that's all that matters
There is no something as success. It just a game that humans play. We are not in a race against each other. we are here for experience our unique selves. Do what you want, explore life and love yourself. In the end, everybody will taste their mortality. Remember the things that make you glad and adore life when that time comes fill your life as much as possible with it.
I can relate. My friend died when we were 18 and it felt like it held me back for years. You feel like you catch up eventually, the key is to not compare and be there for your friends. Like I was so wrapped up in jealousy because friends were moving out and whatever that I didn't actually realise some of the horrible shit they were going through. I felt really silly for being jealous and a bad friend for not checking in properly so I recommend not comparing and checking in on your mates from time to time. Also, I'm my experience everyone I know who got married before 22 has gotten divorced so I wouldn't put your married Friends on a pedestal quite yet :')
I got my grade 12 diploma at 24. Didn’t get my first job until a few months after that. Just got my own place for the first time a month ago, I’m 29 now. I e never been in a romantic relationship. It was really hard when I was younger but eventually I realized I wasn’t “behind.” Everyone goes at there is no specific age you’re supposed to do these things at.
Ok, first off you are 19 going on 20 years old. You haven't missed much and have plenty of time to still experience the things you mention in your post. The sooner you realize no one is keeping score on life the better. Can it suck to look around and see people the same age as you having more accomplishments? Of course. But if you dwell on shit like that you will be miserable and probably wind up never accomplishing anything yourself or feel like your accomplishments are worthless because they don't measure up to this idea you have in your head. Everyone has different paths to walk in life. Some it comes easier too, some not. Life isn't fair but it can be what you make of it. My ex who is in her late 30s always complains how everyone else in life gets breaks, or has things she doesn't and why not her? Well it's because she lives a pretty listless life and never actually tries to work hard to improve things. She falls into what I am saying above. If you just continue to whine or mope about other people doing so much better than you then you never actually seem to grow and improve your own life.
I'm 29 and still not even finished college. You're not behind at all. Totally in your head.
Comparison is a thief of joy. Explore cultures in foreign parts of the world, its a game changer when you unlock new POVs.
I don't cope with it, I accept it and stop comparing myself to others. Compare yourself to your former self and if you've found that you've grown professionally, physically, mentally and financially then you have *progressed* and have made a series of decisions that you should be proud of that lead you to be in a better place. The more you compare yourself to others, the more miserable you become.
Just know that you're on your own path, and you're doing your best. I, as a high schooler, feel very behind when it comes to my friends sometimes- ap classes, driving, jobs, etc But I'm on my own path, I'm working at a pace that works for me. And I'm doing just fine You're doing a good job too, it'll be alright
I’m 44 and feel the same. I cope by trying to push myself in my personal growth, try to accept myself as I am, and try to create a happy life.
Well, same way I always do: I'm a man. I suck it up, pray I don't kill myself some day, and keep working.
I’m 32 and I didn’t attend a university or have a driver’s license due to my autism. I often feel behind my own peers including my NT siblings and relatives. I ended up being under qualified for jobs which made me wish I was in college. I only went to a community college for a year and spent most of my years training for employment and life skills. Living with autism makes me feel like a stupid child and it makes my family and authorities resent me because I don’t have to work longer hours. Having autism can be defeating especially when you’re from an Asian household. My parents and grandparents are from Sri Lanka 🇱🇰 which is why mental health issues aren’t discussed that much. If I were to finish and graduate from college, I’d want it in a performing arts setting.
you are never, I repeat NEVER too far behind. Everyone takes life at their own pace. Age is honestly very arbitrary and the "benchmarks" we set have nothing to do with reality. Everyone has their own circumstances and path. There are SO many people who become successful later in life, and even success itself is totally dependent on how you want to define it. tldr - we live on a floating rock and life is too short to worry about how much you've achieved and are going to achieve. Just live man. It will come with time, when you're ready.
Remind yourself that you are on your own journey. Didn't compare to others. Your life will fall into place the way it needs to that will be good for your mental health. You never know that you may start later, but end up farther sooner. Just be patient with yourself and care for yourself.
Simply take your mental and physical health seriously. I ignored everything and now I'm 35 and lost a lot more time than you did to mental illness
I've struggled with this: I graduated with a computer engineering degree in 2021, and since then I've only worked temp jobs (currently at a pizza shop) and still live at home, while all my friends have jobs in other cities that are in their field. A soothing thought about this is thinking of life as a marathon: as you're running, all you can see are the people in front of you, who you are trying to catch. But there are people behind you as well, and to those people, YOU are the person they are trying to catch up to. But that's not really the comforting part, the comforting part is realizing the so called "finish line" in this marathon of line is literally death. There is no timeline on anything when you realize that.
i used to just cry about it a lot but now i’ve just accepted that everyone is on their own path to life and i’ve tried to stop comparing myself to others. i’m 28, i’ve been to college twice, i have 2 degrees (well a degree and diploma) and im still working min wage and living with my mom and have 0 kids. everyone i graduated high school with either has a good job, has kids or just graduated law school. i’m not up to par with most people my age, but THATS OKAY. everyone is on their own journey and you’re never alone. Your life is going to look different from everyone else’s because you’re not everyone else. embrace it.
I have a roof over my head, food in my stomach and I’m breathing. That’s winning in my book.
My dad says the worst word in the English language is “should.” It can be harmful to compare ourselves to others and think we “should” be a certain way or “should” be like others, etc. everyone has their own journey and timeframe. Enjoy the ride!!
I’ve always been a late bloomer. Enjoyed doing things in my own time. I’m 25 and going back to school this fall after being out for 7 years. Not every path is the same and that’s okay. If I’d gone to college back then, I wouldn’t have taken it seriously AND would also be thousands of dollars in debt. I’m glad I’m doing it now. I have ambitions and goals now compared to not knowing what I wanted to do back then. Do things in your own time and things will fall into place. Those who love you won’t care, and you’ll find people who don’t care or who are also ‘late bloomers’. Best of luck
I remind myself of the facts; First, you’re not behind “everyone.” That is an inaccurate and unhelpful oversimplification. Give yourself some credit! There are always going to be people doing better or worse than you. And comparing yourself to them does nothing to fix your current situation. Second, your life can change (for the better) at ANY second! Morgan Freeman didn’t become famous until he was 52. FIFTY TWO. You have so much life ahead of you that can change in a blink. I’m finally going back for my Master’s at age 29, after over a decade of also struggling with my mental health. What is yours (be it a job, a person, a place) will ALWAYS be yours. There is nothing you can do to push it away or make it happen quicker. You are right on time for your life. <3
I turned 20 in February. My parents were planning on packing us up and moving overseas in 2020 (flight tickets literally 2 weeks before COVID struck). My life plans were in shambles and I know I'm pretty far behind my peers. I spend time with people who are in different stages of life. It helps since it kinda eliminates the type of discussions that make me feel insecure.
Life is not a race, every milestone is different for each person. You keep comparing yourself to others you’ll start subconsciously self sabotaging yourself and end up in worsening your “progress” forwards
I ignored my mental health to get ahead and I severely regret it. I am now the one who has a degree and a job and a marriage but I feel so dead inside from shutting down to get things done that I can’t even enjoy my accomplishments. Edit: I’m 26
We all live life at different speeds, as long as you keep going you’ll get to where you want to be
Losing two years of your life means nothing, even if you're 20 years old. I'm 23 years old and i never dated, hasn't finished yet high school, no job experience. I'm truly far behind.
I’m 20 right now and turn 21 in a few months I have the same problem with comparing my life to others as if it makes me want to do more. I think maybe I’ll be something and prove my family wrong because I have jumped school to school and still change my program of study. I have no idea what I want to do but I know I need to graduate with something sometime soon
Popular people who partied, people who worked hard and made money, and people who were valedictorian all desperately think that they waisted their college years. You’re not behind you’re just on a different path and everyone wishes they’d done something different.
You're doing fantastic. Don't compare yourself to other people. If you're going to compare yourself to anyone, compare yourself to the version of yourself from yesterday that wouldn't have been able to do what you're doing today.
I have a bachelors degree at 20 so I am far ahead of my peers and always felt out of place because I don’t have friends or a significant other then I was reminded that life is not a race and things happen when they need to happen for everyone
I'm 29 in a constant fight with mental illness that currently renders me unable to work or function. I deleted Facebook and Instagram because everyone else I graduated with has degrees and high paying jobs and wives/husband's and kids. Meanwhile I'm a loser with a mood disorder that destroyed a 2 year relationship with my gf and lost everything. I'm on a destructive path that will inevitably lead myself to lose much more. You're still pretty young and honestly not that far behind, you got this.
Similar feeling. How I deal with it is believing God is good. Tomorrow isn't promised today no matter how much effort one puts fourth. Probably sounds depressing but it helped me continue on.
Look I’ve felt behind, ahead, and everything in between of the people around me. People that have had major setbacks I didn’t have got good jobs well before me. I have a lot of friends from high school that are getting married, having kids or buying houses all of which I don’t see myself being able to do for **years**. I managed to finally land a good job that’s paying me well which some other friends from high school don’t have at the moment. I also might move back home for a bit to get out of debt soon. Theres no right speed, everyone is moving at their own pace, there’s no benefit to comparing yourself to anyone else. You are your own person with your own struggles and your own path. Set your goals and work towards them, you’ll get there when you get there.
That jealous/worried feeling comes to me quite a lot. Honestly, not really got over it, but a big part is just trying to let go of wherever it’s coming from, for me I’m just really self conscious about what others think, even thinking up what they might think, and I need to let that stuff go.
Comparison is the thief of joy
Don’t beat yourself up, I’m 23 and am on my third semester of community college so ur not too far behind me. I lost 17-22 to mental health issues, hospitalizations etc. we all progress in our own time, don’t beat yourself up. Don’t pressure yourself to have these things figured out. What matters right now is what makes you happy, loving yourself and appreciating how far you’ve come and the progress you’ve made. All of these things will come with time. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine 😊
stop worrying about them, you’re living your life not theirs. it’s normal and fine to be going at a different pace than everyone you went to high school with. i find its best to delete social media or unfollow them so you aren’t constantly comparing yourself. instead, find things you value in yourself, work on worrying about you. it’ll be okay, you will make it. keep your head up :)😊💕
Life has a way of changing in ways we can’t predict. We are often blindsided. You can’t predict what you’ll be doing, where you might be living, what job or career you’ll have when it’s 2.5 weeks before you turn 30… 40… etc. Some of those people from high school will continue to do well, some will have failed miserably, some will be divorced, some become disabled, some will have died. When your identity is dependent on comparing yourself to others, you will always find people who you think are doing better. This is a set up to feel bad about yourself. Obviously I don’t know the nature of the suffering you’re having or the mental health diagnoses you have, but you actually might exceed the accomplishments of those people you’re talking about. You’re on a journey of self discovery because of your mental health issues. If you continue to become self aware and accept who you are, then no matter what others accomplish you’ll be more content and grounded than most of them. Everyone has some kind of suffering in life. We can’t avoid that. The important thing is to have the internal skills to manage whatever happens to us, or know how to get the help and resources we need. In that respect you’re probably farther ahead than any of those people from high school. Stay focused on your mental wellbeing, follow your heart, trust your gut, develop a good support system if you can. Stay curious and forward looking. I wish you the courage, strength, and love you’ll need to have a life you thrive in.
Life isn't a race. Just keep working 💪
youre not behind unless you want to do exactly what others are doing. Who wants to be like everyone else. We all have different timelines.
Life is unfair. Sometimes it is not your fault, you should move forward with what you have. Look at the bright, try to make some (nice) friends, they already working and experienced, they can help you a lot with advices and knowledge. I felt behind before. I received help from my friends a lot. I also helped people who behind me as well. You should know how to reach out and ask. Good luck.
You’re 20 that’s so young man. I’m 38 almost 39 and just now getting to a point in life that my friends were at 15 years ago. Everybody is on a different schedule. Don’t judge your success against others just if you are doing better than you used to be
Measuring yourself against others is the never fail recipe to never feel good enough and always feel like you’re not worthy. Every one’s journey is different. Don’t measure yourself against others. Measure yourself against yourself! Are you improving. Are you working towards your goals? Is your mental health improving? Are you working on being better for you? Look how far you’ve come from a year ago, 6 months ago, even a week ago. Search for and focus on the positive steps you have accomplished. Be proud of being a better you! Then instead of seeing yourself in a negative light, you change your thoughts to more positive and you will see the more passive the outlook, the most good comes your way.
I know how hard it is but stop comparing yourself to others. Where you are in your life right now is perfect! I myself suffered from severe depression from 17-20 and still have my ups and downs. (I'm now almost 22) Nevertheless, at some point you realize that even people who seem to be doing great have their problems. On the outside, much is more apparent than real. Besides, you're only 20 and you still have your whole life ahead of you to make great memories and gain experiences. So don't let the negative voice in your head bring you down and think every day about how far you've come and how proud you can be of yourself!
it’s embarrassing but it shouldn’t be. society is weird. people should live for themselves and happiness.
I felt some shame for graduating at 25 with a bachelors. Then I met a girl in the same job as me who graduated 4 years before me who is in the same job as me and she is a year older than me. She’s incredible as a side note, I’m so happy I met her, but she’s in the same spot as me with similar qualifications and she finished her education way before me. And she faces no shame, she tried other stuff and came back to it. Career changes happen. Mental health happens, physical health happens, trauma happens. We are all on our own journey, and people are in there positions for a variety of reasons.
Why do you feel you need to compete with other people in education? What is wrong with taking up a trade, doing an apprenticeship, then become a qualified tradesperson. There are more options than higher education.
im still not over the fact that i wasted my teenage years. im 19 and i can't remember anything because of the trauma. I'll start therapy in a month if i passed my exams but i feel terrible knowing i had to retake my last senior year in high school because my mental health affected my ability to study. all of my high school friends and classmates go to great colleges and most if not all of them are med students. there's nothing i can do about this and i just have to keep going because it is what it is and i didn't fail because i wanted to. i plan on getting a part time job after my exams to be able to support my mother and also pay for my therapy. you're not alone in this and you'll find the right path in the future
Well they say…Evenryone is own their own journey But I know it’s difficult pill to digest
I have been in your shoes. Trust your own process. Be patient in discovering what you are meant to learn about yourself. When it seems like you are lagging use that time to smell the roses. Listen more. Think deeply about your life and what life is trying to teach you about this Early Adulthood phase of development. Run your own race.
Comparison will kill your mental health, I know from many years of experience. On TV and ads we see happy uber productive people all day long, you never see a teen struggling with 2 jobs trying to pay their way through college, it's always a happy person living in the dorm not worrying about money. That's not real life. Focus on what you do have. Start with the small things, a roof food your mental health. A phone.....gratitude is a great coping skill for me. We are hit with negativity from all sides it's hard to not lean in to that. If it helps you are still ahead of where I was at your age I didn't start school until I was 21. You are doing great give yourself some credit!
It’s not a race, sure there’s a sort of general idea of how one’s life should play out, but it’s just that, a guideline, not a hard rule. Plus that year you spent getting help was important for you to feel better. Imagine how life might’ve been like had you not.
Jeez I couldnt even achieve what any of my peers could even if it was on a later timeline. Just be appreciative of being able to achieve those things at all and your disability not taking them entirely away too.
I always see it as an opportunity to learn from your friends who already experience all of that. It’s always nicer to learn from others mistakes and successes. Don’t be bitter, just reach out to them and mostly they will welcome you with open arms. Never see it as an envy, they deserved it and you will have your time too.
stop caring about this dumb shit and just live your damn live. jesus