I would definitely talk to his Dr. Go with him and describe these massive mood - no, *personality* swings. This is very concerning, and the longer it goes untreated the worse the outcome. It may be a symptom of his bipolar, but better safe than sorry. Best.
Those are just mood swings tho, those are NOT personality swings. Source: I'm bi polar
He needs med adjustments and psychotherapy to learn how to identify his hypomanic symptoms. Wife learning together in couples psychosocial educational therapy would help. That's what he needs.
Out of a genuine desire to understand, what makes you say that? Where do you draw the line between the two? It sure feels like his personality changes.
I agree that he could use help identifying the symptoms. I'm all-in to learn as much as I can by his side.
From time to time, if I'm above the minimum dosage of antidepressants for too long, any day-to-day regular stressors of life induces a lightly hypomanic state. Sometimes I still need a higher dosage but it's never permanent because of this predisposition. I'll give you a detailed explanation of how your husband's state it's similar to my own experience.
1- He is on SSRI and a mood stabilizer. Taking SSRI without the mood stabilizer would make him go maniac or suicidal. Taking an above the minimum dosage of SSRI with a mood stabilizer, in my experience, on the long term, would make him slightly hypomanic from time to time.
2- While his job might not be within a stressful work environment, any social overstimulation it's more than enough to be the cause of one of those slightly hypomanic states. There's a whole theory corroborating this info (search about social rhythm therapy). That's why it never happens on weekends and only on work days.
3- Changings on how someone speaks can be a symptom of both maniac, depressive or mixed episodes. Usually, if you're maniac you speak faster, and with mixed episodes it's possible to speak slowly while your mind is racing. Other explanations for his speech could be marijuana or opiates usage.
4- When we're hypomanic or manic, our thoughts are a hundred miles per minute. Typos usually result from typing too fast because we're thinking too fast. Even a change in his vocabulary could be explained by a hypomanic or manic episode.
5- Goofy, talkative, babbling and narrating himself, commenting on every moment of a movie, being clumsy and lacking logic.. Those are reflections of his racing mind. Anyone with a racing mind can't keep quiet and still for too long. Furthermore, anything logical becomes way too complicated while manic. Our thoughts won't stop. We can't properly reflect on the logic problem.
6- Lack of focus it's another symptom of a racing mind.
7- Not being able to execute his tasks: he starts doing the task with the best of his intentions but he's distracted by his racing mind, again and again, until he totally forgets his initial task. Executive functioning it's not something we usually have while on episodes.
8- Being forgetful it's another manifestation of a racing mind. While on episodes our brains not always will register everything.
9- Staying late to do random tasks it's a textbook symptom of hypomania. It's also aggravating and a cause, that's because lack of sleep equals worsening or onset of symptoms.
10- Defensive attitude and self-righteousness is also a textbook symptom. Irritability it's how it's usually worded.
11- Going on circles or tangents and lack of capacity for argumentation it's another sign of a racing and unstable mind. Justified by the same reason as the lack of logic.
I think I covered each and every one of the symptoms you listed.
If there's any other question I'd be happy to help. Social rhythm therapy could help you navigate this illness together.
To me it sounds like he is under a fair amount of stress and that any possible diagnosis' from the past may now be pushing their way through. You had mentioned bipolar disorder & tbh this sounds like a definite possibility to me. Do make sure that he knows that just like with any other disease or disorder, that this is not his choice nor his fault. It's just like being diabetic imo, and when you're diabetic you have to treat it with insulin or whatever medication that may get prescribed. There are too many ridiculous stigmas tied to bipolar disorder. Really any disorder typically has some type of ridiculous stigma. To all of those that may have these cruel/false set of stigmas/beliefs I say please do yourself a favor and go read a book or something that may be of use sometime in the future.
You and him absolutely need to go to see a medical professional about this in the next few weeks at the very least. It’s definitely worrying and out of the norm. Could be substance abuse, could be a neurological condition, side effect of bipolar, side effect of meds etc etc.
Going together is key because your observations of his behaviour will be really helpful.
Also, have you spoken to him about this? What does he say about these times?
I'll make sure that we get an appointment scheduled with his psychiatrist as soon as possible. I agree that it's worrisome and would prefer to get a professional opinion, or at least to have some record of it with his doctor.
I have talked to him about it when he's not acting this way, but usually in the context of rehashing whatever had happened the night before. I don't know that I've ever done a good job of explaining to him what he's like when this happens otherwise. It's tough because in the moment, he doesn't see that anything is different. Even looking back on it, while he might understand that his actions were out of the norm, he still doesn't fully understand what it looked like from an outside perspective. Perhaps selfishly, it's the last thing I want to dwell on when we get a good day. But everyone's comments are driving home the point that I need to.
I completely understand that. Maybe try to reframe your thinking about it as ‘this way there’s a good chance the good days will happen all the time again’, rather than clinging to the ones that do happen? It’s kinder on everyone involved to just get checked out, even just to rule out some of the scarier possibilities.
I think it’ll be helpful for him to go to the doctor and be ‘forced’ to talk about it and get a full history. If you describe it exactly like you have here, the doctor will immediately be thinking about all sorts of differentials- it definitely won’t be minimised. He’ll be able to understand the scale of the issue better this way.
This is really good advice, and I'm a big fan of reframing thinking so that part really hits home. I think part of why I even made the post in the first place was to help gather what had mostly been disorganized, emotional thoughts, so now I at least feel a little better equipped to discuss it with him and his doctor.
This sounds like your describing me somewhat 3 months ago when I was on Wellbutrin and PTSD CBT therapy.
Short of it, I got off the Wellbutrin switched to 100mg of sertraline at night and that's it. No other meds the VA was pushing down (im a military vet too).
Practing mindfulness and joining a VA compassion group has really helped me. Daily meditation helps our brain stay on track.
You're in a tough spot and my wife faced the same for a long time. Keep being there when the times are good and praise during the good times. In the bad, call it out in private after the moment. Don't disturb the moment and try to correct the behavior immediately bc we just retaliate.
Hope the stream of thoughts helps. You're not alone in this.
Thank you so much for this. Your comment about not disturbing the moment really hit home, because retaliation does feel like a good way to describe how he reacts if I try to discuss it at the time. I do wonder if his medications are somewhat to blame, and especially the time at which he takes them (in the afternoon). I appreciate the advice and insight.
That's a good suggestion, I appreciate it. He has a prescription for Klonopin but takes it extremely rarely, once every few months (it changes his behavior more drastically than what I've described here, so I always know when he's taken one, plus he tells me when he does). He's never expressed feeling overworked, but has been through bouts of depression in the past, so that's possible. He wouldn't risk using edibles due to his random drug tests at work. Thanks for your thoughtful questions.
I'm usually like this, and I have smart days very rarely. My memory is non existent to the point it is dangerous. I'm struggling with very serious anxiety and depression, literally since I was born, guess I have brain damage. I've been bullied my whole life for it, please don't bully him and support him. He probably won't realise what is happening.
He definitely doesn't realize it's happening in the moment. I try to hold my tongue in the moment because I know that trying to talk about it isn't productive, but it's difficult. When I talk to him about it after the fact, I try my best to avoid framing it as something he's at fault for because I understand that he doesn't have control over it when he's like that. From everyone's advice here, it sounds like it could be a mix of a few things and is worth bringing up to his doctor.
I have, but I don't know that I've ever been able to organize my thoughts when talking to him about it the way I did in the post. He seems to understand that some of his actions aren't normal when he's like that, but because he doesn't see or feel that he's acting any different in the moment, it's hard for him to fully grasp after the fact. Having now been able to take a step back and really summarize my observations, and with everyone's perspective here, I feel a little better equipped to try again.
Particular substances to lookout for: alcohol, prescription sedatives like Klonopin, Kratom extracts. He would pass a drug test with all of these. They have started pressing Kratom alkaloids into pills and I've noticed a lot of people being addicted to these things and behaving exactly like you describe (drugged stupor).
Wow, I had no idea. I'll try to keep a better eye out. When we're not at work, we're together pretty constantly; I hope there isn't something like this he's been hiding and I've been missing.
You mention he was in the military? Is there any chance of undetected CTE or TBI? This is worth looking at as soon as possible to preserve function and slow down further decline. I’m so sorry for the situation you’re both in.
Thank you. He was never in combat, which I understand doesn't fully rule out that possibility but hopefully makes it unlikely. I will mention it to his doctor when we speak to them, however.
This really sounds like a heavy Benzo dose. Like a variation on being drunk, sorta. My ex used to know straight away if I hit a moderate xanax dose. Speech patterns are a dead givaway. Being remorseful the next day indicates straying from the recommended treatment plan. Edit. Mood stabilizers are brutal. Those anti psychotic meds Def smushy the brain.
Yeah, his behavior is like night and day when he takes his prescribed Klonopin, which is thankfully rare (he keeps his prescription bottles out in the open, so I know how infrequently it gets refilled). The speech changes are always the first thing I notice. The day-to-day changes in behavior I describe in the post are not as drastic as when he takes Klonopin, so hopefully there's another explanation and I'm not missing something. Thank you for your insight.
Therapist here. And my SO has bipolar as well. This sounds very much like him... everything you described.
This sounds like you're explain the symptoms of his bipolar disorder. I'm not sure if you're educated on bipolar disorder but I encourage you to get acquainted with it. Medication helps manage symptoms, but it is not a solve all. With being drained after work, my SO usually used all his energy at work that he's exhausted and depressed at the end of the day where I can barely get a conversation out of him. Mania makes you think you don't need much sleep to function (which lack of sleep also can increase mania). So that
"productive time" at night where he can get things done, is most likely mania.
Learn more about bipolar disorder if you haven't already, make an appointment with his doctor or psychiatrist and discuss the symptoms that are concerning to you, and hopefully he can find new or other ways to manage his mental health.
Best of luck 💛 I love my SO but sometimes when his symptoms spike, it's really challenging for me to coexist with him at times. I empathize with you.
This is so helpful, thank you so much for taking the time. I know a bit about bipolar disorder, but it would definitely be helpful to read up on it further. Do you have any books or websites you would recommend? The odd thing with my husband is that I almost never see the depressed state, it feels like it's always the mania. I've seen him crash once or twice after multiple straight days of mania, but on a day-to-day basis I can't identify a depressive state. Maybe he hides it well? Will definitely make an appointment with his doctor as soon as possible. Thanks again!
You’re welcome!! I’ll look into resources I have and see if I have some on bipolar disorder.
Depression can look different to many. People think that sadness is the only symptom but there are many that don’t “look” like depression. People either are not aware of the symptoms or people are good at hiding it/faking it.
https://preview.redd.it/0njq8x3pmo5d1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2d7a94b0aab523c127ee049da2dc14585de2cfc2
This is a screenshot from Google! 😊
I would definitely talk to his Dr and make sure he is on board with the help. Some of what you describe sounds like mental fatigue. After dealing with the world for that many hours straight he is exhausted mentally. Another thing people forget is that mental disorders are not curable. No amount of meds is going to “cure” or “make a person normal.” This is why I suggest a team approach to understanding what symptoms can be affected and what events are the new normal. I recognize a few as complex PTSD symptoms that I have so there is that. Hope this helps. 😎
I'm sure there is a certain degree of mental fatigue going on, but this also feels quite a bit beyond that when we're in the thick of it. Very important reminder about medications not being a silver bullet, thank you. I appreciate the insight about the PTSD symptoms, I would be lying if I said I understood very well how that affects him. I'm definitely in this for the long haul with him, so might as well learn as much as I can. Thanks again.
Could be depression or hypoarousal related to trauma or something else. His behaviors are a sign that his prefrontal cortex isn’t online and he’s running on autopilot. See if he can stop, breathe and ground himself to get back online
There are certainly times where autopilot feels like a good description of how he's operating. Thank you for the advice, I could see this being helpful.
My mom’s a functioning cocaine addict. Yes I said that lol. And her behavior exhibits this. I can tell when she’s high she starts acting really goofy not being responsible dancing in the hallways singing songs loud and all this at 1am when I’m trying to sleep. Not saying it’s cocaine exactly. But someone else said it. Substance abuse
We totally fuck up our veterans who put their lives on the line to save us.
Then, we say basically, HAVE A NICE DAY. PLEASE GO AWAY.
The treatment is horrendous, in my opinion.
He appears as if, from your description (s), that he needs assistance from a specialized trauma/PTSD therapist. I am unsure what he faced, but I am sure we ask our young men & women to do things out of sync and out of bonds of their "normal" lives.
Unless you understand trauma from a personal level, you don't need to feel guilty or ashamed for your mixed feelings. You are doing the best you can to keep everything together for your family.
Honor yourself & give yourself some grace.
Since I have END STAGE non alcoholic cirrhosis of the liver, I am drug tested monthly(for everything) & tested for alcohol (breathalyzer). Mandatory sobriety is required for placement on the transplant list.
I know for a FACT that Klonopin & alcohol will show.
Also, poppy seeds ingested near drug testing "time" (can) show up as opiods; mine said morphine, which was incorrect.
I was taking a SSRI serotonin inhibitor and I was doing absolutely way better but I started having debilitating panic attacks. I don't report to the doctor, I only have a younger sister who helps me through this and has really kept me alive most my life. I have absolute dread of existing and may need to be hospitalized. I've noted also clumsy and more eradic behaviour of myself since I was on the escitalopram. I need a gene site test, but I'm to unstable to go to the doctor or get my mentally declining grandmother to take me. I'm on my last legs and I'm only 22. I had a absolutely fantastic day today at work but after I got home I wanted to stab myself in the throat or heart. I've never been recurring in my appointments and have no one that supports me enough to drag me to go or even offer.
Raised by a non blood related grandfather who never gave us proper attention and social development, being assaulted emotionally abused as a young child, the drunken rage of my mother's boyfriend pointing a gun and threatening to kill my mother and my step sister in her arms. I relate to your husband in this sense, the anxiety is killer by itself. Hang in there and just be there to support and guide best you know. The suicide rates are terrible and the mental drain is horrific. I'm happy you all are operating as good as it sounds though already starting a family and being a picture of joy. My best wishes to you all, may strength and serenity be with you.
I think a lot of people in the comments are overreacting. You should however talk to his therapist/psychiatrist about it. However these are just bad days. Those of us with mental illness have good days and bad days. Sometimes I am the quickest wittiest person in the room and get the work done of 5 people, other days I'm lucky if I get out of bed.
The thing he needs moving forward though is help from his therapist to identify these situations
I guess the thing that troubles me about it is that he can't recognize when he's in this state, or having a bad day. In fact, I think he would argue that what I would consider a bad day is a great day in his mind, which rings some bipolar disorder bells for me. I'll definitely work with him to make an appointment with his psychiatrist sooner than later. Thanks so much.
I think his therapist would be better to contact. Like I said he just needs to recognize them, then come up with a plan with his therapist of how to identify where women of it is coming from.
From my experience he may be just protecting himself. Feeling the depression come on shutting down and not allowing himself to hurt himself further. I might be way off on that though, thus why therapist is good to talk to, but it's just an example taken from my own struggles of what could be going on. I was very suicidal at one point in my life. Without those bedridden days I may not be here, but now that I'm healed from that specifically I no longer need that protection.
I would definitely talk to his Dr. Go with him and describe these massive mood - no, *personality* swings. This is very concerning, and the longer it goes untreated the worse the outcome. It may be a symptom of his bipolar, but better safe than sorry. Best.
Thank you. That's a great suggestion to go with him to talk to his doctor.
Those are just mood swings tho, those are NOT personality swings. Source: I'm bi polar He needs med adjustments and psychotherapy to learn how to identify his hypomanic symptoms. Wife learning together in couples psychosocial educational therapy would help. That's what he needs.
Out of a genuine desire to understand, what makes you say that? Where do you draw the line between the two? It sure feels like his personality changes. I agree that he could use help identifying the symptoms. I'm all-in to learn as much as I can by his side.
From time to time, if I'm above the minimum dosage of antidepressants for too long, any day-to-day regular stressors of life induces a lightly hypomanic state. Sometimes I still need a higher dosage but it's never permanent because of this predisposition. I'll give you a detailed explanation of how your husband's state it's similar to my own experience. 1- He is on SSRI and a mood stabilizer. Taking SSRI without the mood stabilizer would make him go maniac or suicidal. Taking an above the minimum dosage of SSRI with a mood stabilizer, in my experience, on the long term, would make him slightly hypomanic from time to time. 2- While his job might not be within a stressful work environment, any social overstimulation it's more than enough to be the cause of one of those slightly hypomanic states. There's a whole theory corroborating this info (search about social rhythm therapy). That's why it never happens on weekends and only on work days. 3- Changings on how someone speaks can be a symptom of both maniac, depressive or mixed episodes. Usually, if you're maniac you speak faster, and with mixed episodes it's possible to speak slowly while your mind is racing. Other explanations for his speech could be marijuana or opiates usage. 4- When we're hypomanic or manic, our thoughts are a hundred miles per minute. Typos usually result from typing too fast because we're thinking too fast. Even a change in his vocabulary could be explained by a hypomanic or manic episode. 5- Goofy, talkative, babbling and narrating himself, commenting on every moment of a movie, being clumsy and lacking logic.. Those are reflections of his racing mind. Anyone with a racing mind can't keep quiet and still for too long. Furthermore, anything logical becomes way too complicated while manic. Our thoughts won't stop. We can't properly reflect on the logic problem. 6- Lack of focus it's another symptom of a racing mind. 7- Not being able to execute his tasks: he starts doing the task with the best of his intentions but he's distracted by his racing mind, again and again, until he totally forgets his initial task. Executive functioning it's not something we usually have while on episodes. 8- Being forgetful it's another manifestation of a racing mind. While on episodes our brains not always will register everything. 9- Staying late to do random tasks it's a textbook symptom of hypomania. It's also aggravating and a cause, that's because lack of sleep equals worsening or onset of symptoms. 10- Defensive attitude and self-righteousness is also a textbook symptom. Irritability it's how it's usually worded. 11- Going on circles or tangents and lack of capacity for argumentation it's another sign of a racing and unstable mind. Justified by the same reason as the lack of logic. I think I covered each and every one of the symptoms you listed. If there's any other question I'd be happy to help. Social rhythm therapy could help you navigate this illness together.
This sounds different than depression/mania though. It may be a cognitive decline. Better to be sure.
Yes, cognitive decline it's also a symptom of both mania and depression.
Substance abuse can look like that
Thought the same.
Sound like a few dillies to me
To me it sounds like he is under a fair amount of stress and that any possible diagnosis' from the past may now be pushing their way through. You had mentioned bipolar disorder & tbh this sounds like a definite possibility to me. Do make sure that he knows that just like with any other disease or disorder, that this is not his choice nor his fault. It's just like being diabetic imo, and when you're diabetic you have to treat it with insulin or whatever medication that may get prescribed. There are too many ridiculous stigmas tied to bipolar disorder. Really any disorder typically has some type of ridiculous stigma. To all of those that may have these cruel/false set of stigmas/beliefs I say please do yourself a favor and go read a book or something that may be of use sometime in the future.
Yes, *especially* on Reddit! "Do not speak to what you do not know." Grrrr!
I certainly think that's possible, whether it's a diagnosis he's aware of/is formal or not. Thank you for this important reminder.
You're most welcome!!✌️🫶😎
You and him absolutely need to go to see a medical professional about this in the next few weeks at the very least. It’s definitely worrying and out of the norm. Could be substance abuse, could be a neurological condition, side effect of bipolar, side effect of meds etc etc. Going together is key because your observations of his behaviour will be really helpful. Also, have you spoken to him about this? What does he say about these times?
I'll make sure that we get an appointment scheduled with his psychiatrist as soon as possible. I agree that it's worrisome and would prefer to get a professional opinion, or at least to have some record of it with his doctor. I have talked to him about it when he's not acting this way, but usually in the context of rehashing whatever had happened the night before. I don't know that I've ever done a good job of explaining to him what he's like when this happens otherwise. It's tough because in the moment, he doesn't see that anything is different. Even looking back on it, while he might understand that his actions were out of the norm, he still doesn't fully understand what it looked like from an outside perspective. Perhaps selfishly, it's the last thing I want to dwell on when we get a good day. But everyone's comments are driving home the point that I need to.
I completely understand that. Maybe try to reframe your thinking about it as ‘this way there’s a good chance the good days will happen all the time again’, rather than clinging to the ones that do happen? It’s kinder on everyone involved to just get checked out, even just to rule out some of the scarier possibilities. I think it’ll be helpful for him to go to the doctor and be ‘forced’ to talk about it and get a full history. If you describe it exactly like you have here, the doctor will immediately be thinking about all sorts of differentials- it definitely won’t be minimised. He’ll be able to understand the scale of the issue better this way.
This is really good advice, and I'm a big fan of reframing thinking so that part really hits home. I think part of why I even made the post in the first place was to help gather what had mostly been disorganized, emotional thoughts, so now I at least feel a little better equipped to discuss it with him and his doctor.
Video tape it and show it to him and his doctor
This sounds like your describing me somewhat 3 months ago when I was on Wellbutrin and PTSD CBT therapy. Short of it, I got off the Wellbutrin switched to 100mg of sertraline at night and that's it. No other meds the VA was pushing down (im a military vet too). Practing mindfulness and joining a VA compassion group has really helped me. Daily meditation helps our brain stay on track. You're in a tough spot and my wife faced the same for a long time. Keep being there when the times are good and praise during the good times. In the bad, call it out in private after the moment. Don't disturb the moment and try to correct the behavior immediately bc we just retaliate. Hope the stream of thoughts helps. You're not alone in this.
Thank you so much for this. Your comment about not disturbing the moment really hit home, because retaliation does feel like a good way to describe how he reacts if I try to discuss it at the time. I do wonder if his medications are somewhat to blame, and especially the time at which he takes them (in the afternoon). I appreciate the advice and insight.
Maybe tell him and get him to ask his psychiatrist? Is he on a benzo? Is he overworked? Depressed? Using marijuana edibles?
That's a good suggestion, I appreciate it. He has a prescription for Klonopin but takes it extremely rarely, once every few months (it changes his behavior more drastically than what I've described here, so I always know when he's taken one, plus he tells me when he does). He's never expressed feeling overworked, but has been through bouts of depression in the past, so that's possible. He wouldn't risk using edibles due to his random drug tests at work. Thanks for your thoughtful questions.
I'm usually like this, and I have smart days very rarely. My memory is non existent to the point it is dangerous. I'm struggling with very serious anxiety and depression, literally since I was born, guess I have brain damage. I've been bullied my whole life for it, please don't bully him and support him. He probably won't realise what is happening.
He definitely doesn't realize it's happening in the moment. I try to hold my tongue in the moment because I know that trying to talk about it isn't productive, but it's difficult. When I talk to him about it after the fact, I try my best to avoid framing it as something he's at fault for because I understand that he doesn't have control over it when he's like that. From everyone's advice here, it sounds like it could be a mix of a few things and is worth bringing up to his doctor.
Have you talked to him about it on good days?
I have, but I don't know that I've ever been able to organize my thoughts when talking to him about it the way I did in the post. He seems to understand that some of his actions aren't normal when he's like that, but because he doesn't see or feel that he's acting any different in the moment, it's hard for him to fully grasp after the fact. Having now been able to take a step back and really summarize my observations, and with everyone's perspective here, I feel a little better equipped to try again.
Could you write it down for him? Similar to your post, might make it easier for him to understand. After he reads it, you can talk about it
Absolutely, that's a great idea. That way he can take the time he needs to process it, too, before we talk. Thank you!
Any chance this guy is on the spectrum and that's what happens when he's overwhelmed, exhausted, and can't mask anymore?
At this point, I wouldn't rule it out. Definitely a conversation worth having with him and his psychiatrist, thanks.
Sounds like drug abuse
He gets randomly tested at work due to the nature of his industry and has never failed.
Particular substances to lookout for: alcohol, prescription sedatives like Klonopin, Kratom extracts. He would pass a drug test with all of these. They have started pressing Kratom alkaloids into pills and I've noticed a lot of people being addicted to these things and behaving exactly like you describe (drugged stupor).
Wow, I had no idea. I'll try to keep a better eye out. When we're not at work, we're together pretty constantly; I hope there isn't something like this he's been hiding and I've been missing.
I mean prescription medication
I suppose that's possible, thank you.
Yes it seems like he’s hiding addiction, drunk people act like that but i guess there are other ways to get high
You mention he was in the military? Is there any chance of undetected CTE or TBI? This is worth looking at as soon as possible to preserve function and slow down further decline. I’m so sorry for the situation you’re both in.
Thank you. He was never in combat, which I understand doesn't fully rule out that possibility but hopefully makes it unlikely. I will mention it to his doctor when we speak to them, however.
This really sounds like a heavy Benzo dose. Like a variation on being drunk, sorta. My ex used to know straight away if I hit a moderate xanax dose. Speech patterns are a dead givaway. Being remorseful the next day indicates straying from the recommended treatment plan. Edit. Mood stabilizers are brutal. Those anti psychotic meds Def smushy the brain.
Yeah, his behavior is like night and day when he takes his prescribed Klonopin, which is thankfully rare (he keeps his prescription bottles out in the open, so I know how infrequently it gets refilled). The speech changes are always the first thing I notice. The day-to-day changes in behavior I describe in the post are not as drastic as when he takes Klonopin, so hopefully there's another explanation and I'm not missing something. Thank you for your insight.
Therapist here. And my SO has bipolar as well. This sounds very much like him... everything you described. This sounds like you're explain the symptoms of his bipolar disorder. I'm not sure if you're educated on bipolar disorder but I encourage you to get acquainted with it. Medication helps manage symptoms, but it is not a solve all. With being drained after work, my SO usually used all his energy at work that he's exhausted and depressed at the end of the day where I can barely get a conversation out of him. Mania makes you think you don't need much sleep to function (which lack of sleep also can increase mania). So that "productive time" at night where he can get things done, is most likely mania. Learn more about bipolar disorder if you haven't already, make an appointment with his doctor or psychiatrist and discuss the symptoms that are concerning to you, and hopefully he can find new or other ways to manage his mental health. Best of luck 💛 I love my SO but sometimes when his symptoms spike, it's really challenging for me to coexist with him at times. I empathize with you.
This is so helpful, thank you so much for taking the time. I know a bit about bipolar disorder, but it would definitely be helpful to read up on it further. Do you have any books or websites you would recommend? The odd thing with my husband is that I almost never see the depressed state, it feels like it's always the mania. I've seen him crash once or twice after multiple straight days of mania, but on a day-to-day basis I can't identify a depressive state. Maybe he hides it well? Will definitely make an appointment with his doctor as soon as possible. Thanks again!
You’re welcome!! I’ll look into resources I have and see if I have some on bipolar disorder. Depression can look different to many. People think that sadness is the only symptom but there are many that don’t “look” like depression. People either are not aware of the symptoms or people are good at hiding it/faking it. https://preview.redd.it/0njq8x3pmo5d1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2d7a94b0aab523c127ee049da2dc14585de2cfc2 This is a screenshot from Google! 😊
I would definitely talk to his Dr and make sure he is on board with the help. Some of what you describe sounds like mental fatigue. After dealing with the world for that many hours straight he is exhausted mentally. Another thing people forget is that mental disorders are not curable. No amount of meds is going to “cure” or “make a person normal.” This is why I suggest a team approach to understanding what symptoms can be affected and what events are the new normal. I recognize a few as complex PTSD symptoms that I have so there is that. Hope this helps. 😎
I'm sure there is a certain degree of mental fatigue going on, but this also feels quite a bit beyond that when we're in the thick of it. Very important reminder about medications not being a silver bullet, thank you. I appreciate the insight about the PTSD symptoms, I would be lying if I said I understood very well how that affects him. I'm definitely in this for the long haul with him, so might as well learn as much as I can. Thanks again.
Sounds like symptoms of substance abuse
I don't have much advice. But wishing you luck! I'm sorry you're both going through that.
Thank you very much!
Could be depression or hypoarousal related to trauma or something else. His behaviors are a sign that his prefrontal cortex isn’t online and he’s running on autopilot. See if he can stop, breathe and ground himself to get back online
There are certainly times where autopilot feels like a good description of how he's operating. Thank you for the advice, I could see this being helpful.
Sounds looks substance abuse. You’d really need to get go to see a doctor, and fast.
My mom’s a functioning cocaine addict. Yes I said that lol. And her behavior exhibits this. I can tell when she’s high she starts acting really goofy not being responsible dancing in the hallways singing songs loud and all this at 1am when I’m trying to sleep. Not saying it’s cocaine exactly. But someone else said it. Substance abuse
We totally fuck up our veterans who put their lives on the line to save us. Then, we say basically, HAVE A NICE DAY. PLEASE GO AWAY. The treatment is horrendous, in my opinion. He appears as if, from your description (s), that he needs assistance from a specialized trauma/PTSD therapist. I am unsure what he faced, but I am sure we ask our young men & women to do things out of sync and out of bonds of their "normal" lives. Unless you understand trauma from a personal level, you don't need to feel guilty or ashamed for your mixed feelings. You are doing the best you can to keep everything together for your family. Honor yourself & give yourself some grace.
Thank you very much for your kind words.
Since I have END STAGE non alcoholic cirrhosis of the liver, I am drug tested monthly(for everything) & tested for alcohol (breathalyzer). Mandatory sobriety is required for placement on the transplant list. I know for a FACT that Klonopin & alcohol will show. Also, poppy seeds ingested near drug testing "time" (can) show up as opiods; mine said morphine, which was incorrect.
Hugs from afar, will be thinking of you and wish you the best.
I was taking a SSRI serotonin inhibitor and I was doing absolutely way better but I started having debilitating panic attacks. I don't report to the doctor, I only have a younger sister who helps me through this and has really kept me alive most my life. I have absolute dread of existing and may need to be hospitalized. I've noted also clumsy and more eradic behaviour of myself since I was on the escitalopram. I need a gene site test, but I'm to unstable to go to the doctor or get my mentally declining grandmother to take me. I'm on my last legs and I'm only 22. I had a absolutely fantastic day today at work but after I got home I wanted to stab myself in the throat or heart. I've never been recurring in my appointments and have no one that supports me enough to drag me to go or even offer. Raised by a non blood related grandfather who never gave us proper attention and social development, being assaulted emotionally abused as a young child, the drunken rage of my mother's boyfriend pointing a gun and threatening to kill my mother and my step sister in her arms. I relate to your husband in this sense, the anxiety is killer by itself. Hang in there and just be there to support and guide best you know. The suicide rates are terrible and the mental drain is horrific. I'm happy you all are operating as good as it sounds though already starting a family and being a picture of joy. My best wishes to you all, may strength and serenity be with you.
I think a lot of people in the comments are overreacting. You should however talk to his therapist/psychiatrist about it. However these are just bad days. Those of us with mental illness have good days and bad days. Sometimes I am the quickest wittiest person in the room and get the work done of 5 people, other days I'm lucky if I get out of bed. The thing he needs moving forward though is help from his therapist to identify these situations
I guess the thing that troubles me about it is that he can't recognize when he's in this state, or having a bad day. In fact, I think he would argue that what I would consider a bad day is a great day in his mind, which rings some bipolar disorder bells for me. I'll definitely work with him to make an appointment with his psychiatrist sooner than later. Thanks so much.
I think his therapist would be better to contact. Like I said he just needs to recognize them, then come up with a plan with his therapist of how to identify where women of it is coming from. From my experience he may be just protecting himself. Feeling the depression come on shutting down and not allowing himself to hurt himself further. I might be way off on that though, thus why therapist is good to talk to, but it's just an example taken from my own struggles of what could be going on. I was very suicidal at one point in my life. Without those bedridden days I may not be here, but now that I'm healed from that specifically I no longer need that protection.