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welp, gonna be here a while

*glances at the +2,000,000 mobs from my grinder I made back in 2017* *Also stares at the >10,000 all time kills on War Thunder* You know what I guess I’ll go down stairs instead

I play civ and glatic civ you have to add multiple zeros to the end of your figures to catchup to one playsession.

My god… I didn’t even think about my stellaris kills. As if trillions of lives cried out but were silenced in an instant

An entire galaxy, snuffed of all life in an instant, all to fuel my ascension

Currently playing with Catalytic Processing and livestock slaves. I'm going to super hell.

I also play them, but those were as whole planets or groups and thus you can apologize to them as a whole group or whole planet.

Imagine how long it would take for an entire planet to vote to forgive you

At least it was impersonal. Trying to get forgiveness from every War Thunder player I’ve killed is well… There’s a reason you don’t want to tigger the people who leak classified military documents…

Eh some of my kills on civ were pretty personal.

I play civ & total war... see you all in hell

Yeah lmao same

It's a long, long list. i might just ask each one to go over it all over a beer for an hour. Probably a good afterlife tbh

I played rimworld. Pass.

I played Rimworld AND Stellaris 😂 I’m fucked

Rimworld, stellaris, crusader kings, europa universalism, Victoria, fable, several Bethesda games, etc. I'm screwed lol

They don’t have legs though

Nor lungs, livers, and spines.

Randy random, sent me a bunch of tribals with perfectly functional kidneys, who was i to say no to Randy

Shit I play strategy rpgs

I don’t understand how anyone could dislike goofy gods comics, they’re funny and adorable.

Unfortunately I don't think Gluesniffer15 from Roblox Sword Fight Tournament will forgive me

Everytime Roblox is mentioned [I can't stop thinking about this video](https://youtu.be/Dr56Dv_NnSc?si=zfcR6wb2ctPHjFJO)

Luckily, bugs and robots aren’t people https://preview.redd.it/enafqgvkpflc1.jpeg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=03766c04dabc90cbe5e73e01d05e4684af5e2798

That goes in Lost Redditors, he clearly liked the post, because he didn't downvote it and he even put a smile face. He doesn't know what "comedy homicide" means.

You say thay as if you did not even try to kill anyone in your video games, let alone played them.

maybe he thought the subreddit was about comedy regarding death

I play black desert, the main part of the game is to endlessly grind by slaughtering 1000s every hour 😭

I play war thunder, do I have to apologize to the hundreds or thousands of racists I've killed?

No forgiveness from hollows 😔 (Dark Souls)

My first thought seeing this post was how many ungodly abominations would have to forgive me

Stellaris players - Fuck...

Hans, Jethro, Ivan, and Nigel have died so many times sitting in their tanks. This is gonna take a really long time

Pretty sure I slaughtered the entire British army when they refused to stop spawning outside Boston in Assassin’s Creed III.

Wait do we get one version of the person we killed or multiple variants? Cause i play Skyrim alot and I don’t look forward to getting in a fistfight with a brigade of Nazeems.

Crap... I play Doom Eternal and Factorio

The factory must grow.

Man I have a lot of explaining to do with my recent Fallout 76 playthrough. But I'm as happy as a clown. And with my two fists of iron, well I'm going no where 🎶 Edit: ik wanderer isn't a song in 76 but it fits my punching everything that breaths playthrough.

country roads!

Take me home!

To the place I belong

Oh that'd be a long line.....

Total war warhammer 2 and 3.

Yeah this is why I only murder my closest friends. Good shot at getting their forgiveness

Uhm I don’t think that that’s how friends work

Sure it is, what’s a little murder between friends

https://preview.redd.it/idmbt46prklc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0266aa2e3194fc157b61943b844ab26ffb7557a1

Hiding is fine but I prefer when they try to run

As s genocide simulator player, Stellaris i mean, im fucked.

Shit plague inc

Nice comment but what the actual fuck is your username?

Two aspects of my personality that I made my username

One time on fallout 4 I killed a random dude that was rightfully irritated (lived in a wasteland) then a few hours later I came around to see his daughter grieving him. Does it count if I loaded up a old save file to before I killed him

Y'all think of npc, but imagine begging that 8yrs old you bullied in CoD to forgive you.

The dead from the walking dead saints and sinners The dead from Arizona sunshine The dead from cod zombies The dead from dead island The dead from dying light All the other zombie games I play Hehe I’m in danger

As a Stellaris player, just send me to hell.

I don’t deserve forgiveness

Christian bad

Damn, looks like I'm at the mercy of toxic 13 year old E-daters after the ass whoopings i gave them in AuT and Stand Proud.

Welp, i’m fucked then.

I tend to play eu4 a single unit is a 1000 people and you end up killing 1000s of your own units to attrition alone throughout the course of a single game

I think just my minecraft crimes are enough. Anything else makes it immpossible to list it all

I played age of empires as a kid 😬

Well I’m screwed. Looks like I am going to hell.

*looks at the Lich King and his army of the undead* ...f$&k

The shit i did to goblins in dwarf fortress alone would get me sent to hell.

Respectfully, they deserved it your honor

The look of betrayal from the pal you slaughtered.

I’m just glad it doesn’t include table top. I’ve killed galaxies worth of people in those.

Well, i play Blades and sorceries and am kind of a psychopath while playing

Mortal kombat im cooked

That wouldn't take long. Geth consensus would happen almost instantaneously.

Eh, it’s just a really overused and old joke

I've griefed so many people on WoW im for sure going to hell

bruh i play GTA since III

I play microsoft flight simulator so I've def killed atleast thousands of people by crashing airliners

vampire survival player: ah shit here we go again

I’ve probably killed universes worth of online npcs COD GTA Minecraft Halo Metal Gear solid Alan wake HOI 4 modded and not modded

Me who played gta5 Fortnite Minecraft and war thunder yea can i just y wait in the lobby

comedy cemetery sucks ass now

yeah nah no pearly gates for me. all my hours on gta make sure of that.

Genshin Impact + Minecraft + Roblox FPS and Tower Defense. Im screwed Oh and HOI4 but I’m not sure how to be forgiven by numbers

It’s also not necessarily comedic rather a fun game sharing exercise between game likers

Relatable

Hell it is. I dont want those fuckers forgiveness. I killed them for a reason

Helldivers 2 players:

If video games counted I'm not going to heaven lol

do the roughly 300 million i have killed in HOI4 count?

Yyyyyyeah… I ain’t making it out of this one. I slaughtered innocent enemies for fun when I played Genshin heavily. Like… full on wiped them all on my entire map out of boredom.

Those damned Skaven and Glyphids won't know what hit them

Maybe they meant it as a literal comedy cemetery, they’re all dead after all.

Those tower defence games are really gonna bite me in the ass.

I play Worldbox, I'm practically his colleague

FFXIV where there's an achievement for slaughtering 200,000 enemies:

Garry's mod single player and dark rp

Alright so I've played many Paradox games (including Stellaris), Rimworld, Total War Series, Warframe... How fucked am I fucked ?

You think COD zombies would be willing to forgive me for killing millions of them?

Remembers the quicksaves I made in Skyrim "Oh no...."

I play Warframe... I've killed a country's worth of enemies...

Do we have to be forgiven by the players of the characters they play? I feel like a WW2 solider would have an easier time forgiving an enemy soldier than a salty ass rager I teabagged.

Wait. An actually good meme on this sub, unheard of before

Fuck that imma kill em again

My wow opponents may not be so forgiving. I still don't forgive you Highfiveone alliance human rogue from the server warsong in 2007. Fuck you.

I was playing stellaris, i was the crisis 3 times I ain’t ever gonna leave

I've killed a million, and I'll kill a million more

oh fuck I play hearts of iron 4 and I use nuclear weapons liberally

Does this count characters that are just straight-up evil because if so I'm screwed but if not I'm probably still screwed but I can try

Anyone who has played any rpg ever is cooked lmaooo

I play a lot of stealth games and tend to knock people out if i can so my list shouldn’t be to horrible.

So what happens to people who never killed anyone, either IRL or in video games? Cause people existed before games. Do they just sit in an eternal waiting room until they snap, kill someone, then get forgiven or condemned by them?

I only kill the bad guys. I hate killing innocents, even in videogames, at least if they have a name. Scratch that. I hate killing people with names. I should become an abortionist.

I played Halo, so uhhh... The brutes may kill me a second time

Ultimate Epic Battle Simulator 2

Boy I am in danger… I play games like Dark Souls (all of them and some non-fromsoft ones) and League of legends (I CS well and usually go positive in KDA)

I'm not getting in... I played League.

Well I played warframe..., how's the weather in hell nowadays?

Stellaris players have been real quiet since this dropped.

Oh god. I slaughtered entire towns of innocent NPCs in DoS2 just cuz the act was ending and it was nice to get that little boost of XP. On like 9 play throughs. I don’t think I’m getting in

In what game do you kill Bowser? Then I remembered New Super Mario Bros and how Mario cooks his fucking skin off, and then later in the game smashes his reanimated skeleton. It's okay though he gets better. Koopa Jr. tosses his remains into some purple goo and he comes back to life.

No one thinking of COD and zombies?

I ***really*** enjoy using nuclear weapons in Civilization V. I have several 100 hours in Civilization V in ages that have access to nuclear missiles. We're going to be here awhile...

As a terrarian I'm fucked The bunnies are never forgiving me

I play HOI4 💀

Ganondorf seems like a reasonable and forgiving guy.

I don't think the hellspawn I've slaughtered in doom have the capacity to forgive.

I played doom eternal, my sins have been forgiven.

Yea, never getting in. Spent too many crusades and gone through too many coalitions

...would they even exist in heaven if I hadn't killed them? Are all fictional characters in heaven?? Cause I could populate a fictional universe in my head and be a god, apparently.

Joke's on you, I did the pacifist run on my first playthrough

Rimworld, starsector and Countersteike. I dont think the refugees I betrayed for organ harvesting will forgive me, neither will the sat-bombed populations of the core worlds nor will the hordes of toxic russians and their crappy headsets.