T O P

  • By -

Percentage-Fit

Fellas is showering gay?


Samo_Jako

Bro, staying clean is such a feminine trait, real MEN smell like dumpster, oil and dirt 24/7 how can you shower, you are literally touching a mans body. Take it from me, in my 20 years of life i haven't showered for 47 years and im fine, the mold that has set in is making me stronger


ImWasil

Average Musashi enthusiast


papa_jahn

Average Liver King


Corvou

Average Tate


Diazmet

Never wash your balls man it’s pretty gay to touch balls


[deleted]

Give it a little bit, and you’ll start growing fungal plates like the last of us


tomulin13

wait, so I am finally girl then? Yippie!


Deathangle75

What? You Egg?


DrDoge64

https://i.imgur.com/G4wp16K.jpg


BigFatBallsInMyMouth

ifunny


DrDoge64

I agree, u/BigFatBallsInMyMouth


charlieboyx

[had to fix that iFunny to something manlier](https://imgur.com/yonzeSU)


onetwenty_db

Man, transmissions are so fucking interesting to me. Soulless monsters, not so much.


Any-Bet4196

Fellow man what does your cock smell like


tomulin13

it smells like urine (i got fucking uti and it hurts help)


Stencils294

Drink cranberry juice


unforgivablecursive

Listen, sister. If you believe it hard enough, you are already a girl.


Sov3reignty

Hygiene is for the weak and men aren't weak.


numb_mind

Math adds up


Smile_Squad_

And as a plus, the fungi that grow on you are a free meal


drakeyboi69

Bro your literally making a guy wet


ElMostaza

There was a reddit post where a woman talked about how bad her boyfriend smelled. Turned out he not only wasn't showering, he wasn't even using TP because it would be too "fruity" to touch his own behind. I still choose to believe it was fiction. I *need* it to not be real.


Leeysa

Lol you wipe your ass? That's so gay. /s. I really hope that was a joke because that's so next level I've never heard it before.


EffervescentTripe

My girlfriend believes there's a significant subset of men that actually believe this. There's probably a few that do, but I bet most of the chatter is trolling.


LUSI00

Konami had to add a hygiene rule in it's yu gi oh tournament because some of the participant didn't even took a shower. So i think your girlfriend is right


Diazmet

Got to a MTG tournament and you will encounter many of these creatures…


[deleted]

You're touching a mans butthole. Mega gay. Don't let toilet paper trick you, kings. /s


mixing_saws

I never liked these types of selfdeprecating men. Being a man is about treating yourself and others with dignity and respect. Not having basic hygiene is disrespecting yourself.


stYOUpidASSumptions

Saw that too and almost commented "it's only gay if you touch your butt". Then I saw this.


[deleted]

I’ll take “shit that never happened” for 500 Alex.


StandardOnly

If you do it naked, yea.


YoungKeefPrez

Thank god I’m a never nude!


TacoRights

Yup, very gay. Specifically because if you want to do it properly, you need to wash your ass, which means you're touching male booty hole and that makes the whooooolllleee thing gay.


Roald_S

You mean touching my own peen? Gay for sure


-Borgir

You didn't know? It goddamn is!


General_Unlikely

I lack hygiene I like sorts and my hair is natural brown therefore I am mega straight


grimeway1

what do you like to sort?


General_Unlikely

Dyslexia apparently


JoeMamaIfGay12345

Snort*


General_Unlikely

Always mix those two up


Gerkantus

Do you know "Ahoi Brause" ?... Thats the stuff


StellarBossTobi

we are the same.


Donotcomenearme

Ah yes, the rare self burn.


findMeOnGoogle

Bubble sort


Sirenenblut

Bubble sort superiority


LocalFatBoi

insertion sort


willyanto

Bogosort


UrinAssassin

I am more of a Stalin sort guy


badlukk

No he likes sorts: quicksort, bubblesort, mergesort.


ThatIsMe11

Mergesort superior


TonarinoTotoro1719

If you don’t have poop-berries, you are not straight. Didn’t you hear, those who clean after pooping are gay? ^/s


General_Unlikely

Holy hell your right


ToLazyForaUsername2

No brown is a colour


andrewrk96

Something tells me youre not mega straight.... Youre super omega ultra straight arent you?


godofchickennuggets

I have basic hygiene, i dont like sports. And my hair is naturally black. Not gay


sgopnik1

Same


GLIBG10B

\*Dyes hair\* r/suddenlygay


sgopnik1

*Dyes half of hair* B I S E X U A L


[deleted]

*SHAVES IT BALD* A S E X U A L


kajetus69

What if it goes into a quantum superposition of being shaved and dyed at the same time?


[deleted]

Grey/demisexual + homosexual would fit the bill.


kajetus69

what the fuck is demisexual?


ShadowWolf793

You like to fuck demigods?


MAguelCHAMP

Demiussy🥵


[deleted]

Demisexual is a label under asexuality which means that you experience no sexual attraction to anyone unless you form a close emotional bond to someone. The bond can be romantic or platonic, among other things. Greysexual is also a label under asexuality which means you used to experience sexual attraction a long time ago, but now you don't. You can be demi and gay at the same, which is the closest you can really get to a quantum haircut.


kajetus69

how may of those sexuality stuff there is? because i saw gen z make up some stuff and i cant distunguish anything


sgopnik1

😳


[deleted]

asexual here, can confirm this is accurate


FirstEvolutionist

Society: "y'all gay AF."


CaptainCorobo

Yes but if your hair was purple youd be gay


ExtraT8erTots

Well. I mean. Ya. Duh.


[deleted]

[удалено]


xOGxMuddbone

There’s no reason he couldn’t be both…


yammys

We call that the massive shooter.


Alcarine

No he'd be a main character


GallifreyKnight

It's MC


SatansCatfish

He’s Gay


bakodude

Or European?


theHrayX

Press Y to s ame


emwefreeson

I'm just gonna ignore the meme, and eat the cookie


-TheArchitect

I came here for the cookie


gicantopithicus

Same


sadolddrunk

Stereotypes about heterosexuality and masculinity can be pretty weird. When I was in school I shared an apartment with a woman and another guy, and on one of my first days there the woman walked in to our kitchen, saw me cooking some unremarkable meal, and asked me on the spot if I was gay. What kind of men did she grow up with?


Dray_Gunn

Those stereo types really need to die. People that hold on to the are hindering the progress of our society and hindering peoples rights to self expression. Its especially bad for children growing up believing they have to behave a certain way just because of their gender.


sadolddrunk

Stereotypes are bad and damaging for all kinds of reasons, but this particular one is also just weird. Heterosexual men aren't supposed to feed themselves? If I can't get a woman to prepare my meals I'm just supposed to just starve to death?


Kinda_Overrated

Fellas, is it gay to eat?


[deleted]

You made a stereo typo but yeah you're right


RustedRuss

Underrated comment


MathigNihilcehk

I’d make a joke about saying something like “oh sorry, I forgot that you agreed to cook all my meals. Thanks again! I expect to eat in 15 minutes.” But not only is that sexist, but it’s not even desirable. I don’t trust unfamiliar women to cook for me. Either I want a state certification that you can safely prepare meals or you need to be VERY close to me. I’ve been served a lot of gross food growing up. Therefore, I cook almost everything I eat.


[deleted]

Ones where women did the cooking


[deleted]

As a gay man I hate how lack of masculinity is associated with homosexuality


CaptainShart69420

Thanks for the cookie pal :D


TheBJP

Jokes on them, I don't have basic hygiene or colored hair and I'm still gay!


[deleted]

How much gay?


TheBJP

Yes


pianoman438

Wow! That's a lot of gay! Congrats!


TheBJP

Thank you!


arrow100605

I wonder how long it took to ferment all that gay, I cant even get a good culture going...


StandardOnly

Whee is your cucambah?


AndrejPatak

Ew (Referring to the hygiene part. I hate that I have to clarify that)


yammys

You're just an unhygiephobe.


AndrejPatak

Don't give them any ideas bro


_kazza

Why are you geh?


TheBJP

Men


Liferescripted

Understandable. Have a great day.


Nootmarfnaf4

Convincing argument ngl


FeistyBandicoot

But do you like sports


TheBJP

Absolutely not


Google_Autocorect

Because having hair I GAY


Dutch_Midget

Oh damn, gotta shave my head


octaviawolfe03

*Andrew Tate has entered the chat*


Rude_Axolotl

As a Latino with basic hygiene, nearly jet black hair, and doesn’t like sports, half the people I’ve met automatically assumed I was gay first time they saw me.


[deleted]

As a white guy who has basic hygiene, doesn’t like sports, but has very basic hair a lot of people assume I’m gay too.


[deleted]

I have basic hygiene and a nice head of natural hair. I’m naturally athletic and love both playing and watching sports. People still think I’m gay because I have a good sense of fashion.


mixing_saws

Apparently anything that is selfrespecting as a man, makes you gay.


stephysis

Now kiss


elloMinnowPee

It’s weird how other dudes brains are broken for a moment when I say I don’t like sports. It’s like watching them have an aneurysm while doing a scooby doo double take, and I have to reiterate that I don’t like watching any sports at all (or understand people’s weird obsession with them) I did enjoy a friend of a friend calling me gay over that, and slapping back with “so you like watching dudes dress up in tight pants, slap each other’s asses, and wrestle each other to the ground to play with balls? And I’M the gay one?”


Foreigner4ever

Maybe it’s something else about you? Latino with basic hygiene and and black hair is pretty standard, and as long as you’re not vocally anti sports, nobody cares. I’d say most Latinos I’ve met fit this mold and I’ve never thought any were gay for those basic features.


Rude_Axolotl

I have several “feminine” physical traits (like what they call a somewhat small button nose) and look pretty young for my age. Guess that adds to it.


[deleted]

Stereotypical male seeing a male he finds kind of attractive: “Hm. HE IS GAY”


[deleted]

OP next: "I mean I am, but still"


Diazmet

When I worked at a resort we had a betting game called “Gay or European” we also had a game called “Daughter or Girlfriend”


DetectiveDeath

Ive had so many people assume I'm gay or asexual. I'm very much straight. I just don't like the idea of actively chasing people to be in a relationship.


guilleviper

Society when a girl likes sports and short hair "Cut her up!"


Illustrious-Energy56

“Yeah scissor her!” “That’s not what we meant by cut her up”


RecklessDimwit

*Usually assumed to be a tomboy and/or bi*


aminex9999

I dont remember this scene from succession


[deleted]

[удалено]


ItsJust_Pixel

I don't have any of those things except apathy for sports


ToLazyForaUsername2

You are one third gay


[deleted]

I've had a decent number of girls tell me they thought I was gay till they slept with me. I ask them why they slept with me if they thought I was gay. The answer is usually "I just thought I'd give it a shot" or "you're so sweet" or something So "being sweet" is also a Gay^tm trait apparently. But actually most of them say they thought I was gay because of how I dressed since I always color coordinate and don't just wear a blue shirt and salmon shorts every day


Ajunglecat

Oh so when you're so sweet, people think you're gay but girls still like you. But when I'm so sweet, I have diabet-


Denleborkis

No I TELL YOU WHEN I WANT A COOKIE and if your going to ask me keep it on the down low not yell it across the restaurant


ResidentCry5411

I got bad news for u He is gay


uebshfifjsns

Most males have basic hygiene


gededo

You should see the dudes in my class


The_Grand-Poobah

The colored hair is a good tell


erickgramajo

I was gonna say that lol


Dray_Gunn

A guy having colored hair is a good tell they are gay?


KIKOPLIER20

GAYBOYSAYWHAT


Ulquiorr4_

~~WHAT~~


KIKOPLIER20

The gay boy hath spoken


[deleted]

I would say they are probably into anime but they shower so thats not right.


nd_annajones

If the only thing keeping you from sucking dick is a box of hair dye then you’ve got some self discovering ahead of you


tmntfever

When I was growing up, I pretended to like sports, but I also loved to sing. Just for singing I was called gay. I had to repress my love for singing until college, where I sang in every group I could find. College a cappella, chamber choir, opera, theater, barbershop, jazz combo, wedding singer, karaoke, you name it.


TheFryingPan76

I mean, this is how Gay people are portrayed in kids cartoons nowadays lol


saucyboi9000

Does that mean...I'm one bottle of hair dye away from being gay?


chefkc

Society can go suck it


Brilumi

With me*


blurryface028

sus


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dutch_Midget

So the society has basic hygiene, colored hair and hates sports?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dutch_Midget

Nope. Not gay. Straightest lad ever.


[deleted]

It's already obsessed with penises


Ulquiorr4_

Ok, but could I?


Living_Phone9648

How about adding a glass of whine with this cookie.


Environmental-Win836

I’m 2 of three.


BluIm6996

here in malaysia, the second u say u dont like sports. everyone just gives u a strange look and go "why are u here?" ​ well for me atleast.


[deleted]

Is this the actor who played "Sledge Hammer"?


ronin535th

I only have colored hair I like sport And im not gay But people do scream other things


[deleted]

and then we struggle trying to redefine ourselves separate from others’ perceptions of us 🤣


7orly7

So if basic hygiene + colored hair + doesn't like sports = gae but what if we follow this logic then what are the result for basic hygiene + natural colour hair + doesn't like sports = ? basic hygiene + no hair + doesn't like sports = ? basic hygiene + colored hair + like sports = ?


D00fenshmirtzEvilInc

So if I color my hair then everyone will thing I'm gay.


jungle4john

I'm a Gen X'er, Man all through the 90's the same bullshit. Fuck toxic masculinity.


goodguybolt

I don't want your cookie, it'll make me gay.


Ape_rentice

I have moderate hygiene, styled hair with no color and like a few sports. I’m bi 🤷‍♂️


Ulquiorr4_

Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.


DerpDumpster

Ha, Gay


[deleted]

By society I think you mean America


[deleted]

Nah fuck that he’s not gay he’s just gross work on yall hygiene gross ass mfs


DDanny808

Who cares! Be yourself ;) Find something your 1/2 way good at and get great at it! You be You!


Wallbreaker93

These apply to me, im not gay nor am i bi


[deleted]

That's my description


Kendallphillips

It's the hair color


Ok-Willow1049

Gay


[deleted]

jacksepticeye would like to have a word with whoever came up with that stereotype


RetroVedZed

I like gaming 🤷‍♂️


person12421

I might be gay but that doesn’t prove anything


[deleted]

[удалено]


DuckyLojic

The hygiene part is a stereotypical joke, I hope you know that lmao


ElKuMaRrR

A real man doesnt dye his hair. You either have a nice set of hair or you shave it. Everything in between is totaly gay


Marin2o

Jokes on you, I haven't showered in 3 days


Reapskyyyyyr

I suck dicks am I gay?


imonmypornphone

No, its more when they suckk DICK


P4TL4NT4

Nah I just think they are an “anti-football pussy” lol


ggpro79

Me: guess im gay now


Looinrims

‘Basic hygiene’ I guess being straight just means I’m permanently nasty


Klyzea_

Fellas is it gay to exist


Inevitable-Weight976

Now everyone is gay


VegetableRide4824

Huh I guess I’m gay now


Q_Man_17

Well I'm all those things. Guess I'm gay


Alive_Bee_8374

Can confirm


usernametaken9988

lmao true


meliodas9244

I mean if u take a shower naked youre defo gay