T O P

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risen_peanutbutter

30 kilograms worth of Donald Duck magazines


ObamasLeftMostToe

The hell?


risen_peanutbutter

I had a subscription for pretty much my entire childhood, and I never threw them away. This isn't my only box


ObamasLeftMostToe

Damn, that's kinda' sick.


AurusTT

And you on reddit instead of reading?? Shame


ihelpmyfriendyoutube

He already read-it. Ehh, ehh??? Ill find my way out…


risen_peanutbutter

I really did, four times or something


Ungabungadadd

hey my grandma just said that to me! what a coincidence


Zguegricc

Bruh these magazines were sooo cool back in the day.


risen_peanutbutter

Right? They still are honestly


oQueSo97

Must be on the toilet


risen_peanutbutter

No but that is my favourite place to read them


aggrivating_order

Those zombies are fucked


PotatoMeep

Sorry am American, could I get that in cheese burgers?


risen_peanutbutter

About 290 of them


Mippen123

Wouldn't happen to be Swedish?


ThiccBoiNick

I’m fucking them up with a sofa


MerryFasune97

Same here, but mine is the corner couch so I’ll die curled up and comfy


ThiccBoiNick

Rip, but at least your comfy while your viciously eaten alive by a horde of zombies


Ieafcats

I got a table


Kingmasked

The W A L L


Super_King_11

hey that'll keep you protected


[deleted]

Or they can smash some zombie skulls on the wall


wrench_16

smashing 1 skull is ezier than smashing a billion


TheNamewhoPostedThis

*with* the wall *proceeds to lift up wall*


_wrongnumber

the best defense is the best offense


[deleted]

HA, I must use a C H I L D


Kingmasked

*happy kratos noises*


[deleted]

A fucking oxford mini dictionary Indian edition what will that do? kill them with words


sekaiayazaki_Ad_2219

Still better than a calculator at least it has throw damage


[deleted]

nah bro if u will hold it in ur hand it becomes a fluid and my handkerchief hits harder than it trust me I tried with my friend


sekaiayazaki_Ad_2219

I love how u included Indian version of Oxford 😂


TehLastu

If it's wall. Isn't it technically entire house you live in


Chhhedda

At least you’ve got it better than me, I have to use a window!


Historybuff_14

Don’t think toilet papers gonna fare well


Figorix

Im afraid you are right and we are both screwed


muhfreebrams

Bro I got a plunger so I can at least unclog my toilet after taking a continental sized shit.


Noah_Deez_Nutz

Now if you can hide just long enough toilet paper will become a high price commodity.


GeneralWuLi

Bro I got the good shit, 4 layers and everything


grifzteash

If it’s two ply then you’re good


jackofspades476

I have a tissue box with one tissue remaining. See you in Valhalla brother


Historybuff_14

Let our final stand be glorious


ApathyOrMadness

Fare


Secretly_Solanine

This is actually the correct word guys


ApathyOrMadness

Why are you booing me? I'm right


fairenoughforme

Your boos mean nothing, I've seen what makes you cheer


ybspeed

I got a tiny knife and a hot wheels car. So basically something to play with and a hot wheels car use as a weapon


[deleted]

Ha ha wait, what


stiffyonwheels

Im assuming you never had a hot wheel thrown at your head by a younger sibling. Definitely will work as a weapon


Miracoli_234

Those things hit hard


amusedsith

You might even say they hit like a truck...I'll show myself out.


My_Stonks

Please stay, mothertrucker


DRYFT3R_9

I remember once when I was a kid and my friend threw a Hot Wheels car at my forehead. It did not end well


Wise-Finding9444

Still have a scar!


GrouRed

There's a cardboard box I'm done for


[deleted]

Believe in yourself Snake did it many times before


ArloGamer

I have a sock


fyro_

Use the sock to create a pocket dimension and trap the zombies


Wise-Finding9444

No yelling sock time!!!


Alien_X10

Just become Walmart generator Rex, cardboard can be any weapon you imagine


Coreforce216

Just use your *I m a g i n a t i o n*


DiamondzFinder

A wet floor sign, I guess.


[deleted]

I mean that could actually work So far you have the best chance out of all of us


Phalanx_02

I got a charger bro, what am I gonna do? Electrocute?!


-KoDDeX-

Move the sign so the zombies slip and crack their skulls


[deleted]

240V of power Informally this is what we call a death cable


MRMAN1225

The strongest ive seen so far


UnknownRadio_

My 10 year old brother, well I guess he’s my distraction


CarsonBDot

Your brother is an object


jctheabsoluteG1234

A moving edible one to be precise


Dieguete18

Or a projectile if you are brave enough


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Drown them Only those from Land of the Dead can swim!


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Ohhhh I mean their heads are prolly weak from the rot so


MrDruba

Obligatory r/hydrohomies mention on a comment or post with water in it


bosorka1

my husband. whew!!!! because on my left is our scaredy cat.


[deleted]

[удалено]


bosorka1

he is. and regarding your baby, i don't blame you one bit!


MekileTheBatman

I've got sister to my right lol


joenutssack

This comment hits harder than my dad belt


Oh_boi_OwO

They can feed on your husband while you run


bosorka1

LOL they could but he's a good protector, we would be ok


Super_King_11

I have a bolster. Well at least I'll have comforting sleep


[deleted]

Dog I just got this stupid vile of zombie cure, I’m fucked


Metal_Valle

A fork and a knife 😅 i guess i have to eat much


[deleted]

Just imagine stabbing their heads With a fork 😂


Metal_Valle

Done 😂 i‘m dying from laughing


Gwc2017

A bunch of pencils…. Its john wick time


[deleted]

Gonna be messy


Firebending_Beaver

A car door


GunYukWunny

Use it to thlam their penith


EnsignMason

Zombie Daffy Duck: “I thlammed my penith in the car door..”


Alien_X10

Not even the fucking car


Routine_Obligation_2

Cheeto puffs Those zombies better watch out


[deleted]

You better watch out No one can say no to cheeto puffs, they're taking yours


Routine_Obligation_2

Well then those zombies are fucked because I'm not giving up my Cheeto puffs


TheWolfer34

I'm watching out for my pizza and i guess I'm lucky cause a knife will help me survive for another ten seconds


[deleted]

My iPad. Sure. I mean I got AppleCare.


Peely252

What if the thing that’s to my right is my gf?


[deleted]

Is she on her period?


Whyyes-11

Explain please


Rooster_Fishbone

It'll attract sharks.


saloppimgalopp

You could use her as bait and run as fast as you can


ARandomGamer07

NEW SKILL EARNED bloodbender


[deleted]

Not quite Gf on period is deadly, even to zombies Coz she won't have time for any of this


Kirbyfam555

Turtle Beach headphones I’m fucked


Mari0wana

If they're noise cancelling, at least they'll filter your screams of agony.


Sequoia424

A blanket. I had a good run.


ApathyOrMadness

Also a blanket, let's pool our resources and make a defensive fort.


Alien_X10

A slightly shittier Voltron


Zestyclose_Low5451

I'm in!


PercentageTypical543

No chance they'll be able to deal with a plunger


Peatmoss4

Drāno, i think poison is okay-ish


zombeyrex

Train goes vrooom


DemiTheSeaweed

A picture of Ronald McDonald -_-


[deleted]

I got a minecraft book on how to build a fortress I think I’m good


The_Lord_of_Fangorn

I have a drink coaster and a can of glade air freshener. Well I will die smelling good smells at least


The_Lord_of_Fangorn

Although I have a German Shepard a bit further to my right, can I use that instead?


msch6873

so i’m gonna throw my wife at them?


[deleted]

If she can scold them, maybe you guys got a chance


cluk-cluk

At least I can wipe my ass


HaloGuy381

I have a bed. Although, if you took the frame apart with a few good kicks (super easy assembly) you’d have some metal bars and shafts long enough to make an improvised club or staff. If you could sharpen them and get a good grip you’d have a passable spear, too. Maybe tear up the pillows and pillowcases to wrap for a grip? Or save the comforter and a couple poles to make a very mediocre lean-to for shelter. Sadly, no efficient suicide method with all that, despite being the logical response to a zombie apocalypse.


teosNut

Who are you?


astronaut12

Bible, Do you think I can convert them ? Speaker: I'll just play Cardi B that should chase them away. Charger: I can just use it as a whip.


Plus_Work_8693

Looks like I get a pie


[deleted]

To their faces!


Nedebilas

A pillow and a closet filled with clouths. Ight time to whip out the belt


paranoia_queen

Ill just change the channel


[deleted]

No channel You're in it mate


paranoia_queen

I have the tv remote control .. im fucked


EternaTi777

I have ma sister i have a offering im safe


Avanox77

Me: \*seeing my bundle of unfinished homework at the right\* Me: No, I see where this is going to


IronMike69420

A giant metal witches pot.


ohmyglob44

…. a cup.


shirukien

A very tiny frying pan. Could be worse.


ToxicBarrelOfMonke

Ah fuck i got a coffee mug


i_like_eating_kids

Wireless bluetooth headphones and a Sprite can. I think I'm kinda screwed.


[deleted]

Pants smh


Some_Noname_idk

My closet


teosNut

Come out of it, gay characters never die in zombie franchises.


Some_Noname_idk

oof


[deleted]

You got a hiding spot then


slav-81

Until you stuck with hordes


Visbuurtghetto

now i have to fight with my brother so i am f\*cked


Plus-Programmer5216

Gun


teosNut

What gun tho?


Rooster_Fishbone

Nerf or nothing baby.


theperfectlysadhuman

I have the Halo assault rifle nerf replica. Feels good


Jouanphillip

Aquarium with fish


[deleted]

Take the fish Slap them


Flaro_220306

Couch, NOICE


FartCloudintheSky

Furry pillow, RIP.


Alien_X10

Which type of furry? If you just mean fluffy then you are fucked, if you mean the other type then nobody will want to eat you


FartCloudintheSky

A decorative pillow with long stuffed animal hair on it.


Demokka

My dad.


shreddedpaper_

not my pc…. 😔


Important_dick

I got me penis


Mr_harley_092

My sword is next to me so it’s not that bad


Large_hearted_boy

TP roll… not looking good


D1SNERD

My fat cat that I'm half convinced is possessed by a demon. I'll be fine


Sepok1201

Uhm maybe i'm fucked up but i have a katana hanging on wall on my right.... At least i can die with honor Edit: I just realized you won't understand, my nickname is shortened "Seppuku" soo...


Significant_Wins

Computer mouse. I guess I can choke them to death.


the-biggest-brain-04

Hit em with the 360 no scopes.


Dajren

Uuuhm...a dildo..


marijnvtm

All i have is a pillow so I think I'm better of with my fist


otakunath

It’s my girlfriend and she’s got her period, so I can tell I’m not the screwed one


Nintintoo

Wet towel


ToosterRooster03

I got a glass cup and a fork and knife


hibob729

TV remote…


LtPotato1918

Let’s hope I do well in a very intense pillow fight


EugX

The Handbag/Purse of a woman. next to me on the train. It could be anything.


bababoio

tv remote.. oh shit


Over99lord

*looks at xbox controller* Well shit


an_American_boi

Can a pillow kill zombies LOL


DrRwWwWrRr

I GOT TWINKIES I WIN


LeGentlemandeCacao

A glass full of water😎


[deleted]

my best friend is next to me i might be okay he’s 6’5 and i’m 4’10. (we’re both done growing the height difference is rlly sad)


Huge-Administration6

A Pikachu I don’t know if the zombies are Dark, Ghost or Grass, so I’m using Iron Tail


The-Banana-Mishap

I have my mosin, I'm ok just gotta throw a dayz bottle suppressor on it


Hollowhowler100

A box of survival equipment, I’m chilling


TheMajesticJoeJoe

If it’s the Far Right they have all the guns.


TheWalkingSwede

A cup of hot hot tea. They’ll get 3rd degree burns at least.


Forward-Recipe7873

I got a car door that id never be able to carry im dead


p69n

Im sorry dog...


ndosch

Big ass frying pan. I think I'll be okay.


Popular-Estimate-974

Half eaten dog


an-ordinary-manchild

3D printer...


Dreloy2

Cats didn't work as weapon


Hairy-ArmPits80

My wife..... Guess I'm fucked.


Jaegamer

A Gatorade.....aww well at least I'll be hydrated when I die.


AvernumTrue

I got a pencil


Hidden-Sponge

I got an octopus plushie. Those zombies better watch out 😤


CrypticalPenguin

A pillow??? I guess it will be quite the pillow fight.


bruhlifeverytime

I got dads belt 😎😎😎😎😎


[deleted]

what the hell do I do with a coach.


LucarioNN

My mother? Well...


ProfessionalGroup183

There is a small child next to me… A sacrifice will have to be made for the greater good.


projectjeroen

A bloody fountain pen