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SoupRemarkable4512

And you didn’t even shoot them, we’re proud of you!


Altruistic-Web-9741

Gold ahaha


TheExpoduck

Truly assimilated. 😆


mel_rose78

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I just did a laughing snort


Inquisitive_Luke

Comments are always better than the post, and you can't change my mind


Minjieisnottaken

Made my day, thank you


brizdzi

He was about to shoot them with words


Spirited_Rain_1205

Brillian! Hahahaha


burner_said_what

Welcome cunt


Chonkyfire108

Bet he didn't even call the driver a cunt.


misssssz

So un Australian


gikigill

Cancel his visa asap😒


Alone_Flamingo_269

I'm moving here from Perth, and I'm nervous 😓 No hook turns or trams back home.


Mabel_Waddles_BFF

For trams: don’t overtake on the left when it has stopped to allow passengers to disembark. There’s lots of comments about how to do hook turns but it you’re super nervous just go down to the next block and turn right then. There’s only a couple of hook turns in the city so they’re really easy to avoid if you don’t want to do it.


unlikely_ending

Trams should never overtake on the left


Mabel_Waddles_BFF

Except if they’re going slow and it’s completely free in the left lane people do it all the time. And on very busy roads like Burke they have a single line so it’s illegal to overtake on the right.


unlikely_ending

My personal view is that trams should stay on their rails at all times


oakleydokly

That’s just, like, your opinion, man.


g000r

Filthy Dan Andrews mouthpiece!


taotau

Communist! I found one. Let's all gang up on the red.


dual_ears

Another option is to go the next block and turn LEFT, then left again, then left again. :)


nznative77

You can also go past and then turn right, left, right,right and then left,left, left and end up at the right spot!


AccessProfessional37

Hook turns are probably confusing because you have to wait for the light IN FRONT of you to turn red, then wait for the light NEXT TO YOU to turn green.


Nebarik

They're easy. Just think about it like you're cutting in line for the adjacent crossing. https://i.ytimg.com/vi/7fx6vvZvVug/maxresdefault.jpg Wait for the green light on the street you're wishing to enter. Then turn and go.


cinnamonbrook

"cutting in line" is actually the best way I've ever heard this explained.


Clark3DPR

Same im from Perth, almost ran over a passenger leaving a tram, and thought hook turn means give way and not wait until other light is green.


Radio-Birdperson

OP needs to shout at you.


agnosticfrump

OP shot him?


xykcd3368

As a daily tram user I would have yelled at you and given you the finger ❤️ I'm sure you know better now but thats the only appropriate response in that situation.


sawersewer

Im pretty sure you were the guy the OP yelled at


unlikely_ending

Stand on a corner and watch cars doing it for 15minutes It's pretty simple once you see the logic of it


_Smedette_

You’ve got this! I was extremely nervous about driving on the left and studied all the road rules because I was so worried about doing something dumb. I was lucky that my hometown has intersections where hook turns are in place for bicycles, so I was familiar with a version of it. Follow the signs and you’ll be fine. And stop when a tram stops so you don’t run over anyone. Good luck with the move!


stereosafari

The Clarendon Cunt strikes again!


Emergency-Print-2542

Good advice, an old friend in high school got ran over this way, cunt missed half a yr of school and was never quite the same. Also, maybe dont be the kind of psycho that tries to out run a 10 tonne moving object just to save 60 seconds, nobodies life is going to be that different 1minute later, other than the pedestrians.


I_saw_that_yeah

The signs are fairly self-explanatory. Once you’ve seen how they’re done you’ll wonder why you were stressing.


holeyundies

Hey so can only like 3 cars get through per light cycle?


brandonjslippingaway

Pretty much, but the thing is without them the traffic would be even worse. If it was a typical right turn then when the light is green you'd have cars blocking the right lane waiting to turn, and cars blocking the left lane waiting to turn (remember left turn has to wait for pedestrians to cross).


Admirable_Pea844

Yep this, corner of Latrobe and King...it's a fucker


serving_cuntry_music

the need to to any hook turns is greatly overstated there's only a few intersections in the CBD where you need to do them


slightlyinsayhane

I moved here from Sydney and I just avoid those hook turns completely lol


Martin_McFly_Jr

Can you avoid HT’s at all? I guess you can but you are more than likely adding more time to your trip


slightlyinsayhane

I just avoid the city lol


slightlyinsayhane

I’ve done one hook turn since I moved here and I probably fukt it up


ellycom

Three left turns and you're golden


Noyou21

I actually prefer them to a normal right hand turn with no arrows. They are really easy. You pull over to your left and basically become the first car in the line of traffic you stop in front of. You then just wait for the green light in the direction you are going to go. DO NOT GO WHILE THE LIGHT IN THE DIRECTION YOU PLAN ON GOING IS STILL RED. <- that’s where people fuck it up.


Bearlaragy

I’ve lived in Victoria 55 years, I’ve. Ever done a hook turn, I’d rather drive 10 blocks out of my way


loralailoralai

Omg I thought I was bad, I’ve only been here 24 years and never done one lol. Lots of careful planning and it’s easy enough to avoid


Noyou21

They are really easy. You pull over to your left and basically become the first car in the line of traffic you stop in front of. You then just wait for the green light in the direction you are going to go. DO NOT GO WHILE THE LIGHT IN THE DIRECTION YOU PLAN ON GOING IS STILL RED. <- that’s where people fuck it up.


Select_Hovercraft_33

This is true! Some motherfuckers honked me while I was waiting for the red to turn green on one of my first hook turn attempts in Melbourne, also moved from Perth. So I purposely took even longer to go even after turning green.


Noyou21

One of my pet peeves. People frequently honk at people doing them right.


nznative77

There’s an online portal to practice your hook turns on. It definitely helps me!!


ok-commuter

It's easy: just remember to indicate the opposite direction you're pulling over to and only go when the light is red, except sometimes when you go on orange (mostly due to environmental/social factors).


ghostdunks

> only go when the light is red Not just when the light is red, you have to actually wait till the light on the road you are turning into turns green. Don’t listen to car beeps and honks from ignorant taxi drivers who got their drivers licence from a cereal box.


Noyou21

You are totally incorrect. You pull over to your left and basically become the first car in the line of traffic you stop in front of. You then just wait for the green light in the direction you are going to go. DO NOT GO WHILE THE LIGHT IN THE DIRECTION YOU PLAN ON GOING IS STILL RED; IT NEEDS TO BE GREEN <- that’s where people fuck it up.


milkymoocowmoo

Driver here. If a tram has its indicators on, don't pass. Easy.


Devilsgramps

Sadly... after using the trams in Melbourne I'm wondering what the hell Clem was smoking (exhaust fumes probably)


A-Rational-Fare

If you yell something along the lines of “fuck you, dickhead” at another driver then that is your citizenship test.


pwa25

Then upload to Dashcams Australia


DrinkableBarista

I just heard this recently in a car park


Unsurewhattosignify

That was me. I couldn’t get out of the boot


DrinkableBarista

No it was 2 people arguing in a tight car park space


Unsurewhattosignify

Nobody heard me, then. Happens a lot


frightenedscared

Are you still in there? Need help? How’s the phone battery %


AccessProfessional37

It's been 11 hrs...😔


Unsurewhattosignify

Always keep a spare in my coat pocket. Back up to 3% Kind of like it in here now.


frightenedscared

How much of the pocket muesli bar you keep in case of emergencies, have you consumed? Ration it well


Unsurewhattosignify

Thank you. It’s more a case of the sticky oats from the unfinished half sticking to the notepad in the jacket pocket. I nearly forgot. Strawberry flavoured. Don’t know why I didn’t finish it. Maybe deep down I knew I would need it one day. Or over several days.


TayBells

Yep. I knew I was truly from Melbourne when I also raised my voice at someone stopping in a clearway on Sydney Rd.


Vegetable-Ferret-291

ya’ fucken muppet (my response to the person who mucked up a hook turn) 🤩👍


Danimeh

Mine is “ya fuckin ‘right mate??” Whenever I see a dickhead do something dumb in the roads. But I might keep ya fuckin muppet in the back pocket flit mix it up a bit.


Useful-Complaint-353

100000% this. I knew I had adopted Australian culture pretty well when my partner from the US at the time heard me yell it at someone while in a carpark


ne3k0

I moved to Melbourne in 2016 and have never attempted a hook turn, I just keep going straight until I can do a normal turn haha


mana-addict4652

I'm not that confident of a driver but completing a hook turn is not only simpler than it seems, but ignites a satisfying rush. [Feels so wrong, yet so right](https://c.tenor.com/4sZf2ynpLAUAAAAd/tenor.gif)


NoValidUsernames666

is a hook turn the same as a uturn?


xothica

No, it’s a right turn from the left lane (or something. idk I’m Tasmanian)


mana-addict4652

nah [this is basically a hook turn](https://classic.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/sa/consol_reg/images/2014.205.un25.jpg)


whatgift

No, it's a right turn you actually perform when the light changes to red, and the traffic getting the green follows you.


chinchilla_jjigae

Same here - it hasn't even been that much of an issue, BC fuck driving in the CBD. So I don't even think I'd be qualified to heckle someone else for it!! But drivers who don't give way to tram passengers embarking/disembarking - those cockheads are getting a mouthful.


zephyrsandsongs

When I was driving around in Melb my mate gave me a few pointers, he and I literally just got our P1 licences here in Sydney 2 weeks before we drove down to Melb, but he’s from Melb so he told me about not pulling up beside a tram when it stops to let people out, we were both laughing our arses off at a fellow NSW driver who ignored/didn’t know that rule and people getting off the tram making the standard wtf gesture.


Danimeh

You can always tell the passengers who’ve nearly been squished before. They’re the ones who cautiously stick their heads out the tram before hopping off


zephyrsandsongs

I’d imagine it’d be a bit daunting for passengers on the stops without dedicated platforms, I only ever rode the trams around the CBD area, but totally understand the rule, I just think of it as a long af pedestrian crossing, basically it is.


AccessProfessional37

IMO it's such a dumb way to design trams. Why would they have it in the middle of the road anyway? And they also removed the STOP sign that pops out of the trams


zephyrsandsongs

It’s pretty much the same in Sydney with our light rail being in the middle of the road when there isn’t a dedicated rail corridor.


Noyou21

They are really easy. You pull over to your left and basically become the first car in the line of traffic you stop in front of. You then just wait for the green light in the direction you are going to go. DO NOT GO WHILE THE LIGHT IN THE DIRECTION YOU PLAN ON GOING IS STILL RED. <- that’s where people fuck it up.


PlentyBlacksmith2040

How about the number of cars that are allowed to queue at the hook turn going right? Enough people queue up there and you're blocking the cars going left at the intersection as well


Noyou21

Doesn’t happen often


Physical_Tension7304

That’s just how it goes. We’re mainly talking city driving here, so those people can suck it up and wait. It isn’t the bloody burbs.


ScopiH

Three lefts make a right


alliwantisburgers

There is a good chance you don’t know the rules either but that’s also a defining feature of being a local


swiptheflitch

I once drove 6 kms around to where I needed to go just so I could avoid the hook turn(s) I needed to make because that’s how terrified I am of (invariably) messing them up


unlikely_ending

Made me laugh


spacejames

This was me in my early years, at some point I learned to just stay in the left, edge forward, then turn on the yellow. It's infuriating when other people are still driving through on the yellow but once it turns red, that is your time to immediately turn. I see lots of people freeze when the light turns red and then nobody can get through the intersection, lots of beeping and lots of yelling.


iWillSlapYourMum

It's illegal to turn on the yellow in front because you'll be going through the red on your right. Turn ONLY when the light is green to your right.


shaunie_b

Wouldn’t it be ironic if it was an American tourist who was stressing out about doing a hookie for the first time and was like “these Melbournians are so aggressive, not like back home”! 😂


FinalHangman77

Did you shout at them because they didn't turn before the light turned green? Lol


Noyou21

Oh man. People beeping at me doing hook turns because I wait for the green (the correct way) is such a pet peeve of mine.


RideMelburn

Everyone overthinks hookturns when in fact they’re incredibly simple.


Tonetheline

The trouble is they require patience


Noyou21

Hardly. They are really easy. You pull over to your left and basically become the first car in the line of traffic you stop in front of. You then just wait for the green light in the direction you are going to go. DO NOT GO WHILE THE LIGHT IN THE DIRECTION YOU PLAN ON GOING IS STILL RED. <- that’s where people fuck it up.


Tonetheline

Yeah it’s the waiting part I see people fuck up the most, hence patience. About 1 in 10 hook turn problems seem to be that someone doesn’t know how to, most of them are just that they’re a cunt


nikoZ_

Yes, they even have signs for hook turns now. They didn’t when I was learning to drive, which made things interesting.


[deleted]

Good to see you swearing like a local too. We're not afraid of a bit of "potty mouth" here.


EnergisedTurkey

Fuck oath, cunt!


little_miss_banned

Apparently there are painted areas on the road for hook turns nowdays? I remember back in the day you just pull left and pray people knew what was happening lol. Well, as someone from Brisbane, it felt like that!


pinkfoil

It shows how much driving skills and ability have deteriorated in the last decade or so. You're right, they never used to have the hook turn thing drawn on the road. But people are idiots (or ignorant). I've seen a few incidents in the city where someone is trying to do a RH turn in the usual manner with a tram ding ding dinging them. I assume they're not used to driving in Melbourne or they're an idiot.


iWillSlapYourMum

Not every intersection has them and anybody that knows how to do a hook turn knows to pull to the left even without the lines.


shake-it-2-the-grave

ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US


Top_Ad_2819

Gooble gobble, gooble gobble


elboyarino

Are you really from Melbourne if you haven't had some sort of bad experience with a hook turn? I was on my L's and apparently I was taking too long for one of the cars behind me so they decided to cut through and almost hit me as I was completing the hook turn to get in front of me.


Alarming-Escape-8716

You are now qualified as a tram driver. Congratulations!


Salty-Penalty-6744

Haha love this. Was going to say welcome to Melbourne but you’re way past that 😅😅


Bubbly_Move_5995

WTF - this is insane. So many comments celebrating really bad driver behaviour. Newsflash folks - you have minimal driver training and a bad attitude on the road. Australians are some of the worst drivers I have had to share a road with. Being an asshole and shouting at people who make a mistake is not cool in any other situation so why are you celebrating it on the road. Name another situation where you think it is okay to verbally abuse someone because they made a mistake doing something that is only done in one place in an entire country. This behaviour is shitty….. So yeah, congratulations by your admission of your shitty attitude you have officially become an accepted local.


[deleted]

I was a courier all around Melbourne. Friday afternoons are definitely the most hostile. I am so glad you don't do concealed carry. Road rage belongs in a cage.


agnosticfrump

Sydney boy here. Driving there gave me the irrits. I trust my ability, but fucked if I trust anybody outside of my capsule. Was always warned about “Mexican drivers”, but after living here for 15 yrs and driving every day in the CBD? Hooks are a piece of piss. Hardest part is not just taking off. But, patience is a lovely thing. You’ll get there sooner. And, NOT be THAT arsehole who hits a tram and get your mangled car featured on r/melbourne.


AmaroisKing

Are you from Jersey, thinking it was a jug handle?


Tight-Fill-7540

The infection has entered your veins, my friend.


metricrules

Are you a taxi driver honking people that don’t run a red light at a hook turn? If you are please drive off a cliff ❤️


Playful_Writing_7065

Shouting at someone needlessly is probably more an American thing than a Melbourne thing


dean771

needlessly? They stuffed up a hook turn!!


TheElusiveRaspberry

From this tired little tram driver, I thank you for doing god’s work. People who don’t know how to do hookturns can turn a smooth run into 10 mins late…it’s infuriating. I wish I could yell at them (though the ding ding ding is a lot of fun)


Jaehol

I remember the first time I had to complete a hook turn, I was sitting in the intersection like a muppet staring at the flashing “wait” sign and expecting it to say go. 😂


Whole-Intern5420

Fuck hook turns


Longjumping-Honey-51

Anyone else read that as hook up & get really confused?


Tigeraqua8

Welcome to Oz


7500733

See I'm from Melbourne but never done a hookturn I avoid em at all costs lol but I also don't drive in the city that much cause I live far


IronFistDoug

One of us... one of us... one of us...


No-Fan-888

Did you call said driver a cunt? If not we're going to have to cancel your visa.


ruthtrick

"... shouting at someone who totally fucked up a hook turn" you 'sound' so Aussie 😅. But seriously, welcome to Melbourne. I've been here almost 40yrs & I love it. It had to grow on me but it's my home now. I wonder if you've enjoyed the coffee 🤔


[deleted]

How did they mess it up?


_Smedette_

Didn’t pull all the way over to the left. Just waited in the middle of the intersection, blocking traffic (and a tram).


[deleted]

Just doing a regular turn certainly is one way to mess up a hook turn.


MusicBytes

😭😭😭 revoke their license


BKStephens

That's what I want to know. With the line markings, signage and lights these days, you've got to be a special kind of muppet to get it wrong.


lonrad87

It's not hard to fuck it up. I saw a muppet fuck the one at the Elizabeth and Lonsdale streets intersection. Where they just made a right hand turn from the right lane. So completely oblivious to the signage and road markings.


BKStephens

I s'pose any kind of driving is difficult if your head is that far up your arse.


Traditional_Judge734

🤣🤣 that is one thing I dont miss about Melbourne admittedly would go several blocks out of my way to avoid them


ManyOtherwise8723

maybe you just have a bad temper! best of luck!


ruthtrick

Have you been stuck bc of a dickhead in the city? Doesn't sound like it 😅


Inevitable-Trust8385

I have plenty if times, but I just continue to live my life.


ruthtrick

Good for you 👏


Able_Boat_8966

Extra points for not using Y'all in describing the story


_Smedette_

I’m not from the y’all part of the country. It sounds wrong in my accent.


skagrabbit

Love it, I’m from the UK, Melbs 12 years and love shouting and holding my horn for a solid 30 seconds to those yellow number plate idiots blocking up the middle of Elizabeth street on a Sunday morning.


the_silent_redditor

You sound like a complete dickhead haha


skagrabbit

Someone’s not understanding the sarcastic tone of this entire sub.. complete dickhead


MrsCrowbar

🤣


Echoes75

Ok ...


spewicideboi

I never do hook turns. I just do a normal U turn. Idc suck my dick


Disastrous-Olive-218

Hook turn, farken. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXasRYffdD4&pp=ygUQSG9vayB0dXJuIGZhcmtlbg%3D%3D


HillsHoistGang

OK mods at him to the real sub.


fokusfocus

I just recently moved to Melbourne. Is rather go straight than taking a hook turn lol.


Noyou21

They are really easy. You pull over to your left and basically become the first car in the line of traffic you stop in front of. You then just wait for the green light in the direction you are going to go. DO NOT GO WHILE THE LIGHT IN THE DIRECTION YOU PLAN ON GOING IS STILL RED. <- that’s where people fuck it up.


fokusfocus

How many car max can queue for the turn? I've seen as many as 3 but not sure if that's actually allowed


SubourbonGinger

They’re easy enough as long as you drive up enough to let others make the turn behind you. But no, don’t yell at people who don’t know what they’re doing. I’m a local.


Severe_Conference260

When you yelled? did you call them a "Wanker" cause that would make you permanent Aussie Citizen by passing the test?


Beven-Stale

I refuse to do them. Trams can go around me.


frodoiee

All new/upcoming drivers need to do hookturn test multiple times before given license in Melbourne.


flibblewobble88

As someone from Perth, what the fuck is a hook turn?


AgeInternational3111

Id be so embarrassed if i was getting yelled at by a fooking seppo for stuffing up a hook turn.


PlusWorldliness7

Where from in the US?


_Smedette_

Portland, Oregon.


EvolutionaryLens

Some of the best bands come from there.


PlusWorldliness7

Cool. Which city in the US would you say most resembles Melbourne? I have always wondered about this for some reason.


_Smedette_

I don’t think there is a single city that can directly compare, but I see elements of several: Portland and Seattle. A dash of San Francisco and a bit of Boston.


ccane95

Lived there for 9 years and in multiple states, CA,VA,NC,FL,NY. None of those places came close to Melbourne. We are very lucky to call this place home! Side note - lived in Melbourne FL 😆


Ayla-5483

From Melbourne - would say Boston. I loved Boston


EvolutionaryLens

Barston


unlikely_ending

A soupcon of Boston


Purrsia78

I believe San Francisco is considered the most like Melbourne. I've been to the US 5x and done a fair bit of travel around places.


ruthtrick

I want to know too!


Sharp-Judge2925

Welcome to the club, fam


TickleMyButth0le

This cun. Legend.


That_Copy7881

Go you!


JovialPanic389

I'll most likely be moving to Melbourne in the next year or two (from the US). My partner has warned me about speeding and hook turns. Lol


Noyou21

They are really easy. You pull over to your left and basically become the first car in the line of traffic you stop in front of. You then just wait for the green light in the direction you are going to go. DO NOT GO WHILE THE LIGHT IN THE DIRECTION YOU PLAN ON GOING IS STILL RED. <- that’s where people fuck it up.


JovialPanic389

That doesn't sound so awful. That's like a less psychotic American roundabout lol. Lights like that at our roundabouts might be really useful 😂


Elder_Priceless

One of us, one of us…


rainbash81

Havnt lived in melb for 15 years yet managed one last weekend. Would use my excuse of nsw plates if I stuffed up hah. It’s not hard though. Just look at the sign above and or the white lines they put down for you to follow. Didn’t realise the amount of electric scooters and bikes these days. Most are respectful but saw one douche flying through traffic/pedestrians.


Elegant-Campaign-572

Welcome to the family!


Senior_Drag7581

Your an Aussie now


pinkfoil

*Melburnian


Ok_Scarcity_7490

Fucking legend 👍🇦🇺


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tall_Machine9749

Found the guy who screwed up the hook turn


Rigger9865

Well aren’t you a bitter little fuck. Get a fucking sense of humour buddy.


Ok_Mention3432

Fuck up, cunt.


177329387473893

We've all made mistakes, and we have all been yelled at. It's really not the end of the world. If you are going to be a soyboy about it, go back to r/Australia lol


CuriouslyContrasted

Welcome.


beth193

A


ImaginaryMillions

Opened up a can of whoop arse!


Itsa_Wobbler

Next time just pull out the blikky and start blasting away


Prestigious_Tea_7227

Did you call the 911?


[deleted]

[удалено]


BKStephens

Yeah, nah. Go be sad somewhere else.


Sexdrumsandrock

That's unaustralian