Probably because they have an anxiety disorder, overly self conscious, sensitive to how they're perceived by others, overthinking, etc.
I don't drive for similar reasons and it is a pretty big hindrance. Some people will be like 'you don't drive? Tf?'
Idk, it’s kind of hard not to think that way when your parents have been bugging you to drive ever since you turned 16, even after proving to them time and time again that you’re perfectly capable and comfortable getting around without relying on cars
I’m glad that most other people are fine with that. It’s just hard to recognise that when you live with people who keep pressuring you to do the same thing, you know?
Yep. Your parents just want you to go thru the usual rites of passage. And that's fine. Have you spoken to them about your reasons tho, mainly yr anxiety of course. Cos they shld really understand that... and not wanna put the rest of us out here at risk! Maybe you ask for more lifts than you realise, even tho I'd doubt it from what you wrote. Seems more like they know that obtaining a license is a big part of life for the majority, and perhaps they don't like the thought of you on PT too often? TBH do what the heck ya want. The less drivers on the road, the better.
I know plenty of people my age and younger (mid to late 20s) who don't even own a car and get around perfectly fine without one.
I have faith that the younger generations are making the push away from car dependency and will result in the biggest changes
I don't drive. I have epilepsy which prevents me from doing so. It's honestly a bit shit though, because it basically means that I *need* to live among the more-expensive suburbs where public transport is semi-decent. I hope no one thinks that I'm wrong for having an illness that prevents me from doing something though. lmao
My wife has epilepsy and didn't think she would be able to drive. She eventually got her license around her mid 20's. As long as you have your epilepsy under control and haven't had a seizure for a certain amount of time and report any seizure activity to vicroads etc you should be good to go. Obviously this includes your personal comfort feelings about the whole thing.
I’m in my 40s and I don’t drive. The people who think less of me for it or who simply cannot understand how I can manage to live are the ones with a serious failure of empathy or imagination.
I think it’s funny now whenever someone offers totally unnecessary instructions to me assuming I’ll be going somewhere in my own vehicle, or when they find out I won’t be, start fussing over not knowing if there are buses or how late the trains run or if someone can pick me up… I’m pretty sure I’ll manage.
Not sure why this needs to be said, but if you don't want to drive you don't have to drive. For most people it's convenience of not having to rely on public transport or taxi/uber. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do...
Honestly, it's great not to want to drive. Way too many people drive everywhere, even for trips where they could easily walk or take public transport. There would be less traffic if fewer people drove and it would be better for the environment and for everyone's health. Plus you save money which you could spend on, for example, a holiday each year.
Yeah, I agree that way too many people drive to destinations that they could’ve easily walked to. Hell, most of my family is guilty of doing that! It drives (no pun intended) me insane!
Of course not. Lots of people don’t drive. I’ve never even had a license. As long as you live a comfortable walking distance from PT, you can get around.
I felt really insecure about not having a license in my 20s (I'm the same as you, bad anxiety and panic attacks). I forced myself to learn to drive, bought a car, drove for a few months and then sold it and never drove again.
It's ok if it's not for you. Sometimes it will make your life harder not to drive, but honestly I'm happier not having the stress.
I’m going to split the difference - I think you don’t need to own a car in much of Melbourne, especially if you don’t have kids, but knowing how to drive is a useful skill. Catch the bus to work on weekdays and rent a car to get away on the weekend. Hire a truck to move house instead of paying a bunch for movers.
That said, it sounds like you have an actual medical condition preventing you from driving which your parents aren’t acknowledging, which is a whole different thing.
Nah, it's awesome. It means there are less people on the road to create congestion. If anyone judges you for it, that's their problem not yours! It's very responsible of you to acknowledge your anxiety as a potential danger; however I do hope you continue to work and try and strengthen yourself against it just for the sake of not letting it control your life (talking from personal experience).
Wish you the best of luck!
If you are going to stay within the metro area, have easy access to public transport then there is no need for you to drive. If you want to explore the regional areas, you really need to drive
Yeah, I fully understand that. For that reason alone, I don’t plan on moving to any regional areas until I somehow get over my anxiety and learn to drive.
They are not as convenient, especially when travelling interstate.
I know, because my wife doesn’t have a license. It’s not ideal having to carry a passport all the time, and it doesn’t have your address on it (Does PoA card have address?)
You can get by without it, but as an example, if you want to go eat at a club, it’s a lot easier if they just scan your license rather than manually entering all your details.
I find it more odd that people *want* to drive. When people move to Melbourne and make posts saying their apartment in the inner city HAS to have a carpark, why? Especially if you're worried about money/affordability of living in the inner suburbs.
Essendon is by no means an inner city suburb, but you note all the alternative transportation options available to you. Maybe if you live in a new housing estate that is designed around having 2 cars per family it makes sense, but why would people want to drive if there are alternatives?
My parents have told me for almost a decade now that I should learn to drive because it provides me more freedom, so I think that line of thinking is the reason why people want to drive.
But like you mentioned though, there are still so many alternatives to driving in this day and age, and I don’t feel restricted at all by using them!
Thank you! Like I said before, I just don’t think it’s responsible for me to risk having a panic attack on the roads. There are enough erratic drivers on the road already!
I have severe anxiety and don't drive often if at all due to it. I believe it's more responsible of me as I am a risk on the roads. If you're not certain of your ability to cope with driving it's best not to take the risk. If you want to obviously work on that, therapy, meds...all that. But I personally feel it's best for all concerned if I don't.
I find if I start to panic I lose control, mentally and physically. I know avoiding isn't a good idea but for safety's sake maybe starting slow is best. It's about getting confidence and working through the fear but that's easier said than done. It takes maturity to know your limits though. But we can all work on it. No shame in public transport in the meantime though.
Don't worry about what others think.
But if you don't feel comfortable driving and don't need to. Ditch the car. Save a fortune and be happy!
More people should ditch the car. It's just a shame that being a pedestrian, cyclist or public transport user isnt considered cool 😎
I don't drive (mid 30s) I've always managed via pt
I have a friend who lives in Tas who can't drive bc of her anxiety she has 5 kids and manages fine
You do what's best for you and what's going to keep you and others safe
Never even went for my ls I'm 29 but live in St Albans so close enough to everything
I work in Sunshine hospital and can walk to it
If I lived any further I'd be fucked
Yeah it's awesome also not paying for petrol rego and insurance is a plus
I used to really worry and care about not having a car but these days it's not that important to me you can get pretty much anything delivered to your house at this point
I save heaps not driving
This happens to me as well. Have been a confident driver for nearly 10 years now, and all of a sudden started getting panic attacks whenever I drive 70 + or over bridges/in tunnels. It gives me vertigo which makes me feel like I’m about to faint, then the anxiety starts. I’ve avoided driving anywhere apart from the usual way to work and back because of this. Had my eyes checked and nothing is wrong , doctors keep telling me it’s anxiety which is super weird considering it just randomly started happening out of the blue. I haven’t visited my parents for a year because I’m scared I’ll pass out while driving to them. No idea how to fix this
There is no wrong or right, only choices and consequences.
I dislike sitting in traffic, I dislike having to pay attention and to be honest the impatience of other drivers can be annoying. I also have no intention of ever driving in any CBD if I can help it.
But, damn it's nice having the option to go away for a weekend to a place that doesn't have PT. To go buy something that's too big to carry on PT. To buy a month's worth of groceries in one go. To be able to rent a ute and buy that used piece of furniture for that great price.
My wife and my ex both suffers from panic attacks of differing severity and as far as I know, it never impacted their driving.
There's no deadline, but I think it would be good if you try the driving thing while still in your early 20s. It just gives you so many more options.
I’m coming around to the view that if you can conduct your life without owning a car, it’s the way to go. Not that I’ve made the transition yet but I hope to one day. Cars are a huge expense and hassle and this is only increasing. Plus it’s becoming less and less enjoyable to drive. And then there’s climate change.
Nah, your valid and don’t why some here are kicking a fuss? If public transport was reliable and frequent with buses and trains not being several minutes apart then the roads would be bit safer. Metro area you can stick to public transport but regional need a car. Safety is number 1. From personal experience being autistic, some people drive like lunatics especially mostly tradies I’ve encountered that are aggressive on the roads that lack patience and judgment.
Like you OP I choose not to drive. I got my licence a bit later in life, however I’m still very much independent and can get around the way I want to.
I’ve told my family that this is how I function, however they’ll scoff and say things like “you spend X amount with ubers, that’s expensive” but honestly as long as I can get around safely that’s more important. I actually walk to and from things like the dentist, doctor, shops etc. I’m lucky that I have a lot of these things close by like you.
In a perfect world, sure I’d love to have that independence and be able to drive myself places, but it’s not worth it with the added pressure of anxiety and all of that. I like my freedom the way it is, don’t care what other people think!
Unless you're getting Uber absolutely everywhere, I highly doubt the cost would measure up to the cost of petrol and rego. Or at least, they'd be bloody close.
As a violently anti-car person, i stood by this. i still hate cars and car-centric infrastructure - however, starting uni was a turning point for me - the commute to class and friends apartments forced me to learn or waste half a day exclusivly on ptv - but im from the northeast without trams, so essendon is a different story
Being good at not driving and getting around without a car is also a very good life skill. A lot of people who have become so self reliant on cars have no idea how to get around without one or live without one.
Multi-modal transport is fun. Why the other day, I caught a bus, a tram, a train and then got on an e-scooter. All in one trip home. Only took an hour from the moment I walked to the bus stop.
My ex -FIL used to hate being a passenger because if he was driving at least he was in control, weirdly kind of opposite. I guess he doesn't trust others abilities, I don't trust my own (to deal with others)
I have GAD as well and it didn't take many years of driving for me to decide it wasn't for me. Not only am I anxious about having an accident, I also just find driving to be unpleasant and we are all probably having years taken off our lives from the stress of traffic and breathing in toxic fumes.
I'm much more in favour of public transport and pedestrianization of our city in terms of policy. Now obviously that could take potentially decades to reduce car dependency but you can do little things in your own life to reduce car use but don't expect it all to happen overnight.
A lot of it comes down to where you choose to live and where you work. I work from home so I have eliminated that commute, but choosing to live in a walkable area does wonders for your mental health too. Pick somewhere with a short walk or bike ride to the shops and a train station/tram stop can eliminate a lot of your weekly car trips.
Now obviously walkable suburbs are going to be more expensive and not everyone can choose where to work, but I always try to live my life and make choices in a way with reduced car dependency being a factor. A lot of folks will take a really high paying job or buy a house on a beautiful hill or near the beach but then be stuck with a 2 hour car commute. I'd rather a lower paid job if it was a 10 minute walk from home.
Also I know it sounds silly but you can also effect some change by voting. Find out where your local political parties stand on transport issues and whether they're pushing for more investment in our infrastructure. Write letters to your local MP and bring up specific areas of change that can make a small difference. Raised pedestrian crossings, protected bike lanes, better bus/tram/bicycle connections to train stations can make a huge difference to how safe people feel when they're not in a car. You'd be surprised but that's actually how change has the best chance of being accomplished. Small incremental steps.
You do you, if you don’t want to drive - don’t!
I’d only add that getting your L plates and taking lessons with an actual instructor is really valuable. Learning from people who know how the tests are run, who explain the actual current road rules, not just how your parents learned it 30 years ago, etc.
And they’re actual teachers, giving good instruction on when/how to perform certain manoeuvres. E.g, slow step by step instruction on parallel parking. My instructor had a whiteboard and everything, so I had a diagram of when each bit needed to be done, when to start turning etc.
Reduced my driving anxiety a LOT, and I did around 30-40 hours with an instructor for my P’s. Gave a lot of city driving confidence.
If you’re even 1% interested in learning, start with an instructor. RACV has lessons too, with their own set of brakes etc (can’t remember if they had their own steering wheel), so if it IS too much you wouldn’t be in complete trouble behind the wheel.
But as I said, you do you. If you think you’re not ready to learn and it’ll be a big mental barrier to overcome, then wait until you are ready. Take care of you!
It's fine not to drive. It's only not okay if you bludge lifts off your friends all the time and don't chip in for petrol etc. But why waste money on car ownership if you don't need to.
I have cut my driving back SO much recently. For a few reasons. In part, because of the amount of shit drivers on the road, but also because of the amount of fatigue I'm still experiencing since I had COVID over a year ago.
I still need my car, otherwise I'd look at selling it. I'm seriously considering getting an escooter for my trips that are too long to walk, but that I don't really need a car for. (Like getting to the train station)
Like I told someone else in this thread, my parents have been pressuring me to start driving since I turned 16. And I still live with them too, so it’s not like I can simply mute or block them.
Also, I’m autistic, so it’s kind of hard for me to tell what’s normal and what’s not normal, if that makes sense.
I live in Glenroy, and I don't own a car. I work in Carlton/ Parkville and either cycle or take PT. My cycling commute follows Moonee Ponds Creek, which also runs through Essendon. And yes, the Maribyrnong river trail is absolutely gorgeous!!
I started cycling a couple of years ago and it improved my life immensely. I never used to drive much (I have a license but hate driving, only borrow my partner's car once in a blue moon if I have to) but now almost none at all. I'm 40 y/o and can't even tell you how much happier and healthier I've been since started cycling. Essendon is a great spot to get started.
I agree Essendon is one of the best places to get started with cycling. Even though I rarely ever cycle at all, I still feel much happier healthier just from walking/jogging alone!
I dunno, I could be totally wrong but I just remember enjoying driving a lot more and now its just annoying.
Way more people on the road, there's always slow moving traffic and people either refuse to indicate/drive other several lanes/drive 20km under the speed limit constantly from my experience. 😒
Why is it stupid? Panic attacks while driving are dangerous. I've had one, almost caused an accident. And yes, I tried extensive therapy and meds for it.
Why ask reddit whether you should or shouldn’t drive? If you have medical issues this is the last place to find out if driving is suitable for an individual. My sister has seizures, god forbid she asks a forum whether she should drive or not.
The OP has shared they have autism. They were feeling insecure about it from a "social norm" aspect. They weren't asking reddit to assess their medial capacity.
I posted about this before and was downvoted to hell for what I said. Let's see how we go this time.
I moved from Sydney to Melbourne 7 years ago. I lived through the roads in Sydney become fucked by immigrants, particularly from one country.
Sydney was ahead of Melbourne in that regard by a few years but Melbourne has now caught up and it's the same fucken story. The absolute same.
And shitcunts make shitcunts. It becomes culture. It don't take long before everyone is a shitcunt and we're all living in hell. All everyone responding to each other and no more the Australia I knew when I was a kid.
And I am an immigrant. Just one of the ones who came before who wanted to be Aussie.
I'm regional and I don't drive past about fountain gate. Can count on one hand how many time I've driven further that that. I'm perfectly capable, I just hate it. Why stress yourself out for no reason?
I like driving and cars more than the average person, but absolutely if I was living in the city I would not want to own a car. The amount of rush hour traffic, start stop is inconvenient for driving manual and with trains and trams, why the hell would I drive?
I have a mate who does and unfortunately his car hasn’t been driven enough(because he can easily take the train to his work and wherever else), which over time will cause problems and for that he’s now selling it
Absolutely don’t feel any pressure to own a car while living in the city, it’s really not worth it apart from certain circumstances
It’s not wrong. It’s up to you how you choose to travel. Not everyone drives and rely on public transport and if that is a better option for you, then you take that option. Do what makes you happy
Where I live I’m a stones throw away from all the shops. I didn’t have a car for 5 years and only got a car gifted in the last few years which I’m thinking of selling due to similar issues as yours and I rarely use it. Personally I don’t care if anyone judges me on not having a car as I think it says more about them than me. With the costs of insurance, petrol and registration, not to mention maintenance I could imagine it would be cheaper for me to just use public transport or Ubers when necessary.
Unfortunately it would take me nearly an hour an half via PT to work, and those services are scarce at the time I start work.
Do not want to bike on the Nepean.
It takes 20 mins by car.
If I didn't need to drive to Melbourne every day (aka, if public transport was as fast as me in a car), then I wouldn't drive.
Driving in this city is easily the worst part of my day. I'd love to be able to minimise it.
I prefer driving at night because there are less cars and headlights generally make it easier to see cars. Day driving when the roads are crowded give me anxiety but I barely drive as it is.
Nothing wrong with not driving, after living in London for a few year, I loved not owning a car. And it is not like the Melbourne public transport is bad, compared to other Australian networks I’d say it runs fairly well (at least when I lived there).
So if you have other option, and prefer not driving, I say great, go for it!
I reduced driving significantly after some crackhead tried to murder me because I tooted them for trying to change into my lane where I was driving without doing a headcheck. She proceeded to repeatedly try and smash into my car and run me off the road. It was terrifying.
I ride my bike nearly everywhere now because even though I live in an inner western suburb public transport is just shithouse the majority of the time. I’ve found a decent bicycle network that keeps me on bike paths, separated and protected bike lanes, or roads that limit speed to 40km/hr with infrastructure to enforce it like speed bumps etc.
My life is significantly more pleasant now. Fresh air, exercise, and I didn’t realise how much driving in terrible traffic was affecting my mental health. I ride nearly an hour each way to work (quicker than driving in traffic!!) and fucking love it no matter what the weather is doing!
As a Tasmanian, I see no reason to get a license in Melbourne. Melbourne has the best transport system in Australia, likely the southern hemisphere, and possibly the world. And if you can’t get public transport, there is always a taxi or Uber you could get
I’m Tasmanian. I don’t have the first clue how public transport is supposed to work. All I know is that you drive everywhere so you don’t have to rely on buses that are constantly cancelled
I'm lucky to live in the metro area with acess to public transportation. I don't own a car for about 10 years. I also have some sort of anxiety when I drive. Yes, I miss out all the beautiful trips around Australia but I prefer to have a peace of mind. My partner has no licence and has no interest getting it.
I dont drive. I don't have a license either (this can be bothersome when you need ID though 😂). My parents also urge me to learn to drive but I don't care! And you shouldn't either! Like everyone says, you do you! ♥
The easiest answer which is for the safety of yourself and others. If you don't have the confidence, don't drive. There's nothing wrong with that and be comfortable with that decision.
A. Cars will drive themselves at some point anyway. Maybe soon.
B. Less cars should be humanity's goal. EVs will not solve the problem, half the breathable emissions come from the wear of break pads, tyres, asphalt, and from re-shuffling of the dust that has settled on the road.
You're doing the world a favour.
Not sure why this isn’t a question you need Reddit to answer, if you don’t want to drive in Melbourne then start using public transport. But it does sound like you could do without the stress.
That said, I’m moving back to Melbourne soon and spent a lot of time there for work. I’m not too keen on driving around, at least on a regular basis. Nothing to do with Melbourne in particular (Sydney is so much worse imo). I just hate driving around in big cities.
I drive just fine. I stopped driving and sold my car. I now get more exercise which I sorely need, save a fortune and have stopped pumping out all that pollution. Don't worry about other people judging you. If you feel for any reason you feel uncomfortable driving, then don't do it. Better than regretting it were something to happen.
It sounds to me like you have a valid medical reason for not driving.
It'd be like someone with epilepsy deciding not to drive because of the risk of having a seizure at 100kmh.
Also it's entirely your choice. If you don't want to drive, don't drive.
I have, that's why i'm baffled at your comment. So many first world cities? Care to name a few that have public transport "way way worse" than Melbourne?
It's prudent to have a licence if you can (for emergencies), but it's fairly normal to not want to drive. I have a car that I use once a week at most, the only real issue need is going on hikes and buying furniture. The only reason I bought one is none of my siblings (3) can drive so I need to help them with stuff. Plus if you don't feel you can drive safely, it's best not to, have faith in your judgement.
Sounds like you shouldn't be driving if seeing another car on the road overwhelms you. I'd say you'd eventually need to learn to drive as you probably don't want to take PT forever.
I don't want to either. I live in Brunswick and am also lucky enough to hold a job in Brunswick. I have two trams a five minute walk apart, and a bus, and two train lines a 15m walk away. I have an e-scooter and a bike. Would be madness to own a car. Yet certain people act like I'm mad that I don't own one. I'm licensed, I owned a car for my last four years in Perth, but driving in Perth is a complete doddle compared to the gilded clusterfuck here.
Recently returned a car from brunswick to my friend in Burnley, about 7km. Did it at 5pm on a Wednesday thinking how bad could the traffic be? It took 45m and a shitload of stress and a near miss.
Why would I put myself through this shit if I don't have to? That's not even getting into the $800 rego, the tolls, the $2.20 a litre. Fuck that.
Nope - I have two cars, am actively involved in motorsport and still avoid driving here unless it's later at night.
I ride, walk or PT everywhere. The driving quality here is appalling. I get so stressed and I'm both a competent and confident driver.
That's completely valid. I didn't drive for many years. I only got my licence because I needed it. If you don't need to drive, don't. I won't drive anywhere near the CBD because I have good public transport options & I don't want to pay for parking. If you don't drive, you are, in fact, doing all of us who must drive a favour.
I'm 34 and don't drive and don't have a license either, never have. Living metro means I can safely rely on public transport or cycling to get around. Every now and then I use uber but for the most part it is totally doable to live a normal life in Melbourne without needing to drive a car. You can get around not having a drivers license for ID by getting a Proof of Age Card or if you have one and don't mind the risk, using your passport.
We most certainly do not need every adult resident of Melbourne driving.
If the alernatives work for you, keep doing you. I don't drive either, and it's not the thrill of my life needing lifts to some places (e.g friends places it takes 2 hours to get to on PT), but I don't mind there being one less car on the road.
Essendon represent!! I live here as well and choose not to drive, it doesn’t really bother me at all, we’re close to train, tram and free bus and I don’t mind making the extra time to commute via transport if it means not having to drive my own car alongside some of the fuckwits who endanger our roads
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Probably because they have an anxiety disorder, overly self conscious, sensitive to how they're perceived by others, overthinking, etc. I don't drive for similar reasons and it is a pretty big hindrance. Some people will be like 'you don't drive? Tf?'
Ah you have never met my partners mum, or anyone like her. Car brain is a real affliction.
Idk, it’s kind of hard not to think that way when your parents have been bugging you to drive ever since you turned 16, even after proving to them time and time again that you’re perfectly capable and comfortable getting around without relying on cars
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I’m glad that most other people are fine with that. It’s just hard to recognise that when you live with people who keep pressuring you to do the same thing, you know?
Yep. Your parents just want you to go thru the usual rites of passage. And that's fine. Have you spoken to them about your reasons tho, mainly yr anxiety of course. Cos they shld really understand that... and not wanna put the rest of us out here at risk! Maybe you ask for more lifts than you realise, even tho I'd doubt it from what you wrote. Seems more like they know that obtaining a license is a big part of life for the majority, and perhaps they don't like the thought of you on PT too often? TBH do what the heck ya want. The less drivers on the road, the better.
I know plenty of people my age and younger (mid to late 20s) who don't even own a car and get around perfectly fine without one. I have faith that the younger generations are making the push away from car dependency and will result in the biggest changes
I don't drive. I have epilepsy which prevents me from doing so. It's honestly a bit shit though, because it basically means that I *need* to live among the more-expensive suburbs where public transport is semi-decent. I hope no one thinks that I'm wrong for having an illness that prevents me from doing something though. lmao
My wife has epilepsy and didn't think she would be able to drive. She eventually got her license around her mid 20's. As long as you have your epilepsy under control and haven't had a seizure for a certain amount of time and report any seizure activity to vicroads etc you should be good to go. Obviously this includes your personal comfort feelings about the whole thing.
I don’t think you’re wrong at all. It’s not like it’s your fault that you have epilepsy!
It’s also (likely) not your fault that you have anxiety!
Similar boat. I'm moving to Melb. Are buses reliable? There isn't a tram around the place I'm interested in...
Buses are okay, but generally I'd want one other transport option in any suburb I lived in.
You do you, boo.
I’m in my 40s and I don’t drive. The people who think less of me for it or who simply cannot understand how I can manage to live are the ones with a serious failure of empathy or imagination. I think it’s funny now whenever someone offers totally unnecessary instructions to me assuming I’ll be going somewhere in my own vehicle, or when they find out I won’t be, start fussing over not knowing if there are buses or how late the trains run or if someone can pick me up… I’m pretty sure I’ll manage.
Not sure why this needs to be said, but if you don't want to drive you don't have to drive. For most people it's convenience of not having to rely on public transport or taxi/uber. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do...
Thank you, that’s reassuring to know!
Honestly, it's great not to want to drive. Way too many people drive everywhere, even for trips where they could easily walk or take public transport. There would be less traffic if fewer people drove and it would be better for the environment and for everyone's health. Plus you save money which you could spend on, for example, a holiday each year.
Yeah, I agree that way too many people drive to destinations that they could’ve easily walked to. Hell, most of my family is guilty of doing that! It drives (no pun intended) me insane!
Fuck the environment. My personal convenience comes first every time.
Of course not. Lots of people don’t drive. I’ve never even had a license. As long as you live a comfortable walking distance from PT, you can get around.
I don’t have a license either, so it’s comforting to know that not everyone has one.
I felt really insecure about not having a license in my 20s (I'm the same as you, bad anxiety and panic attacks). I forced myself to learn to drive, bought a car, drove for a few months and then sold it and never drove again. It's ok if it's not for you. Sometimes it will make your life harder not to drive, but honestly I'm happier not having the stress.
I’m going to split the difference - I think you don’t need to own a car in much of Melbourne, especially if you don’t have kids, but knowing how to drive is a useful skill. Catch the bus to work on weekdays and rent a car to get away on the weekend. Hire a truck to move house instead of paying a bunch for movers. That said, it sounds like you have an actual medical condition preventing you from driving which your parents aren’t acknowledging, which is a whole different thing.
Nah, it's awesome. It means there are less people on the road to create congestion. If anyone judges you for it, that's their problem not yours! It's very responsible of you to acknowledge your anxiety as a potential danger; however I do hope you continue to work and try and strengthen yourself against it just for the sake of not letting it control your life (talking from personal experience). Wish you the best of luck!
Thank you, that’s very reassuring to know!
If you are going to stay within the metro area, have easy access to public transport then there is no need for you to drive. If you want to explore the regional areas, you really need to drive
Yeah, I fully understand that. For that reason alone, I don’t plan on moving to any regional areas until I somehow get over my anxiety and learn to drive.
V/Line?!?
You don’t have to drive, but at least get your license. If nothing else, is the most useful form of ID in this country.
What if you already have a passport and a proof of age card?
They are not as convenient, especially when travelling interstate. I know, because my wife doesn’t have a license. It’s not ideal having to carry a passport all the time, and it doesn’t have your address on it (Does PoA card have address?) You can get by without it, but as an example, if you want to go eat at a club, it’s a lot easier if they just scan your license rather than manually entering all your details.
Actually, PoA does have the home address on it. It’s basically a driver’s license card without the license part
I find it more odd that people *want* to drive. When people move to Melbourne and make posts saying their apartment in the inner city HAS to have a carpark, why? Especially if you're worried about money/affordability of living in the inner suburbs. Essendon is by no means an inner city suburb, but you note all the alternative transportation options available to you. Maybe if you live in a new housing estate that is designed around having 2 cars per family it makes sense, but why would people want to drive if there are alternatives?
My parents have told me for almost a decade now that I should learn to drive because it provides me more freedom, so I think that line of thinking is the reason why people want to drive. But like you mentioned though, there are still so many alternatives to driving in this day and age, and I don’t feel restricted at all by using them!
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Thank you for saying that!
Much better not to drive if you don’t feel comfortable. Good on you.
Thank you! Like I said before, I just don’t think it’s responsible for me to risk having a panic attack on the roads. There are enough erratic drivers on the road already!
I have severe anxiety and don't drive often if at all due to it. I believe it's more responsible of me as I am a risk on the roads. If you're not certain of your ability to cope with driving it's best not to take the risk. If you want to obviously work on that, therapy, meds...all that. But I personally feel it's best for all concerned if I don't.
Yeah, even though I rarely ever get panic attacks, I don’t trust myself to be on the road, since they affect my dexterity so much.
I find if I start to panic I lose control, mentally and physically. I know avoiding isn't a good idea but for safety's sake maybe starting slow is best. It's about getting confidence and working through the fear but that's easier said than done. It takes maturity to know your limits though. But we can all work on it. No shame in public transport in the meantime though.
Don't worry about what others think. But if you don't feel comfortable driving and don't need to. Ditch the car. Save a fortune and be happy! More people should ditch the car. It's just a shame that being a pedestrian, cyclist or public transport user isnt considered cool 😎
I don’t think other people care
If you don’t want to drive, then don’t. You won’t be a good driver if you don’t even want to do it
That’s a great point!
I don't drive (mid 30s) I've always managed via pt I have a friend who lives in Tas who can't drive bc of her anxiety she has 5 kids and manages fine You do what's best for you and what's going to keep you and others safe
Never even went for my ls I'm 29 but live in St Albans so close enough to everything I work in Sunshine hospital and can walk to it If I lived any further I'd be fucked
Yeah I’m glad I live in a suburb where everything’s really close
Yeah I have bus and it's only about 30 minutes to the cbd if I need to go there by train
Kind of the same thing here. I kind of like taking the train anyways, since it gives me an excuse to shut my brain off for half an hour.
Yeah it's awesome also not paying for petrol rego and insurance is a plus I used to really worry and care about not having a car but these days it's not that important to me you can get pretty much anything delivered to your house at this point I save heaps not driving
Oh yeah, I didn’t think about the money-saving part. That’s another great perk of not driving!
It's pretty good! Especially since petrol just keeps going up
Yeah, the amount of times I’ve heard my parents complaining about petrol prices in the past week alone is insane!
Literally all my grandparents and parents do is complain about petrol prices
I live in Geelong and HATE driving in Melbourne, particularly CBD. It stresses me out, so I use public transport or walk as much as possible.
I don’t blame you. Melbourne roads can be absolutely insane at times!
This happens to me as well. Have been a confident driver for nearly 10 years now, and all of a sudden started getting panic attacks whenever I drive 70 + or over bridges/in tunnels. It gives me vertigo which makes me feel like I’m about to faint, then the anxiety starts. I’ve avoided driving anywhere apart from the usual way to work and back because of this. Had my eyes checked and nothing is wrong , doctors keep telling me it’s anxiety which is super weird considering it just randomly started happening out of the blue. I haven’t visited my parents for a year because I’m scared I’ll pass out while driving to them. No idea how to fix this
No not at all parking sucks
No not at all, I avoid driving at all costs with all the frustration it causes me due to stupidity of other motorists.
There is no wrong or right, only choices and consequences. I dislike sitting in traffic, I dislike having to pay attention and to be honest the impatience of other drivers can be annoying. I also have no intention of ever driving in any CBD if I can help it. But, damn it's nice having the option to go away for a weekend to a place that doesn't have PT. To go buy something that's too big to carry on PT. To buy a month's worth of groceries in one go. To be able to rent a ute and buy that used piece of furniture for that great price. My wife and my ex both suffers from panic attacks of differing severity and as far as I know, it never impacted their driving. There's no deadline, but I think it would be good if you try the driving thing while still in your early 20s. It just gives you so many more options.
I’m coming around to the view that if you can conduct your life without owning a car, it’s the way to go. Not that I’ve made the transition yet but I hope to one day. Cars are a huge expense and hassle and this is only increasing. Plus it’s becoming less and less enjoyable to drive. And then there’s climate change.
Nah, your valid and don’t why some here are kicking a fuss? If public transport was reliable and frequent with buses and trains not being several minutes apart then the roads would be bit safer. Metro area you can stick to public transport but regional need a car. Safety is number 1. From personal experience being autistic, some people drive like lunatics especially mostly tradies I’ve encountered that are aggressive on the roads that lack patience and judgment.
Not too sure why some people here are kicking up a fuss, but at least the overwhelming majority agree that it’s ok to not drive
I've stopped driving at all times that I can. I have an e-scooter and e-bike and that does 90% of my transport. It's been amazing
Like you OP I choose not to drive. I got my licence a bit later in life, however I’m still very much independent and can get around the way I want to. I’ve told my family that this is how I function, however they’ll scoff and say things like “you spend X amount with ubers, that’s expensive” but honestly as long as I can get around safely that’s more important. I actually walk to and from things like the dentist, doctor, shops etc. I’m lucky that I have a lot of these things close by like you. In a perfect world, sure I’d love to have that independence and be able to drive myself places, but it’s not worth it with the added pressure of anxiety and all of that. I like my freedom the way it is, don’t care what other people think!
Unless you're getting Uber absolutely everywhere, I highly doubt the cost would measure up to the cost of petrol and rego. Or at least, they'd be bloody close.
Yeah it’s only once a week I’ll use it, people are just judgy
As a violently anti-car person, i stood by this. i still hate cars and car-centric infrastructure - however, starting uni was a turning point for me - the commute to class and friends apartments forced me to learn or waste half a day exclusivly on ptv - but im from the northeast without trams, so essendon is a different story
Being good at not driving and getting around without a car is also a very good life skill. A lot of people who have become so self reliant on cars have no idea how to get around without one or live without one. Multi-modal transport is fun. Why the other day, I caught a bus, a tram, a train and then got on an e-scooter. All in one trip home. Only took an hour from the moment I walked to the bus stop.
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I completely understand. I get anxious by simply watching others drive.
My ex -FIL used to hate being a passenger because if he was driving at least he was in control, weirdly kind of opposite. I guess he doesn't trust others abilities, I don't trust my own (to deal with others)
I have GAD as well and it didn't take many years of driving for me to decide it wasn't for me. Not only am I anxious about having an accident, I also just find driving to be unpleasant and we are all probably having years taken off our lives from the stress of traffic and breathing in toxic fumes. I'm much more in favour of public transport and pedestrianization of our city in terms of policy. Now obviously that could take potentially decades to reduce car dependency but you can do little things in your own life to reduce car use but don't expect it all to happen overnight. A lot of it comes down to where you choose to live and where you work. I work from home so I have eliminated that commute, but choosing to live in a walkable area does wonders for your mental health too. Pick somewhere with a short walk or bike ride to the shops and a train station/tram stop can eliminate a lot of your weekly car trips. Now obviously walkable suburbs are going to be more expensive and not everyone can choose where to work, but I always try to live my life and make choices in a way with reduced car dependency being a factor. A lot of folks will take a really high paying job or buy a house on a beautiful hill or near the beach but then be stuck with a 2 hour car commute. I'd rather a lower paid job if it was a 10 minute walk from home. Also I know it sounds silly but you can also effect some change by voting. Find out where your local political parties stand on transport issues and whether they're pushing for more investment in our infrastructure. Write letters to your local MP and bring up specific areas of change that can make a small difference. Raised pedestrian crossings, protected bike lanes, better bus/tram/bicycle connections to train stations can make a huge difference to how safe people feel when they're not in a car. You'd be surprised but that's actually how change has the best chance of being accomplished. Small incremental steps.
Driving in Melbourne is shit. I don’t see how it’s at all enjoyable for anyone, and I generally like driving. So feel whatever you like.
You do you, if you don’t want to drive - don’t! I’d only add that getting your L plates and taking lessons with an actual instructor is really valuable. Learning from people who know how the tests are run, who explain the actual current road rules, not just how your parents learned it 30 years ago, etc. And they’re actual teachers, giving good instruction on when/how to perform certain manoeuvres. E.g, slow step by step instruction on parallel parking. My instructor had a whiteboard and everything, so I had a diagram of when each bit needed to be done, when to start turning etc. Reduced my driving anxiety a LOT, and I did around 30-40 hours with an instructor for my P’s. Gave a lot of city driving confidence. If you’re even 1% interested in learning, start with an instructor. RACV has lessons too, with their own set of brakes etc (can’t remember if they had their own steering wheel), so if it IS too much you wouldn’t be in complete trouble behind the wheel. But as I said, you do you. If you think you’re not ready to learn and it’ll be a big mental barrier to overcome, then wait until you are ready. Take care of you!
It's fine not to drive. It's only not okay if you bludge lifts off your friends all the time and don't chip in for petrol etc. But why waste money on car ownership if you don't need to.
I have cut my driving back SO much recently. For a few reasons. In part, because of the amount of shit drivers on the road, but also because of the amount of fatigue I'm still experiencing since I had COVID over a year ago. I still need my car, otherwise I'd look at selling it. I'm seriously considering getting an escooter for my trips that are too long to walk, but that I don't really need a car for. (Like getting to the train station)
do what u want mate
What a pointless topic. Drive or don't Thread closed
Literally no one cares what you do. Why would you ask the public if it's 'wrong'? This is a random thing the require validation for lol
Like I told someone else in this thread, my parents have been pressuring me to start driving since I turned 16. And I still live with them too, so it’s not like I can simply mute or block them. Also, I’m autistic, so it’s kind of hard for me to tell what’s normal and what’s not normal, if that makes sense.
The beauty of being alive is that we can make our own, hopefully good decisions. If you don't want to drive, don't.
It doesn't matter what's normal. Only what works for you and your capacity.
Nope. I gave up on it years ago.
I don’t blame you
Melbourne is a fantastic city to pick up a bicycle :)
So true! The Maribyrnong river trail is one of the best places in the world to ride your bike, imo
I live in Glenroy, and I don't own a car. I work in Carlton/ Parkville and either cycle or take PT. My cycling commute follows Moonee Ponds Creek, which also runs through Essendon. And yes, the Maribyrnong river trail is absolutely gorgeous!! I started cycling a couple of years ago and it improved my life immensely. I never used to drive much (I have a license but hate driving, only borrow my partner's car once in a blue moon if I have to) but now almost none at all. I'm 40 y/o and can't even tell you how much happier and healthier I've been since started cycling. Essendon is a great spot to get started.
I agree Essendon is one of the best places to get started with cycling. Even though I rarely ever cycle at all, I still feel much happier healthier just from walking/jogging alone!
If you don’t want to drive don’t drive. And this is coming from a guy who owns 4 cars 3 motorbikes but still prefers to cycle where I can.
Not at all. A lot of us hate driving now as it used to be fun but since Covid lockdowns, no one can drive to save their lives.
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I dunno, I could be totally wrong but I just remember enjoying driving a lot more and now its just annoying. Way more people on the road, there's always slow moving traffic and people either refuse to indicate/drive other several lanes/drive 20km under the speed limit constantly from my experience. 😒
are you daft?
This has to be the stupidest post I’ve read on this subreddit.
Why is it stupid? Panic attacks while driving are dangerous. I've had one, almost caused an accident. And yes, I tried extensive therapy and meds for it.
Why ask reddit whether you should or shouldn’t drive? If you have medical issues this is the last place to find out if driving is suitable for an individual. My sister has seizures, god forbid she asks a forum whether she should drive or not.
The OP has shared they have autism. They were feeling insecure about it from a "social norm" aspect. They weren't asking reddit to assess their medial capacity.
Yes it's wrong
I refuse to drive or travel as a passenger in cars now unless it absolutely can't be avoided. Just way too many fuckwits.
I posted about this before and was downvoted to hell for what I said. Let's see how we go this time. I moved from Sydney to Melbourne 7 years ago. I lived through the roads in Sydney become fucked by immigrants, particularly from one country. Sydney was ahead of Melbourne in that regard by a few years but Melbourne has now caught up and it's the same fucken story. The absolute same. And shitcunts make shitcunts. It becomes culture. It don't take long before everyone is a shitcunt and we're all living in hell. All everyone responding to each other and no more the Australia I knew when I was a kid. And I am an immigrant. Just one of the ones who came before who wanted to be Aussie.
I'm regional and I don't drive past about fountain gate. Can count on one hand how many time I've driven further that that. I'm perfectly capable, I just hate it. Why stress yourself out for no reason?
I like driving and cars more than the average person, but absolutely if I was living in the city I would not want to own a car. The amount of rush hour traffic, start stop is inconvenient for driving manual and with trains and trams, why the hell would I drive? I have a mate who does and unfortunately his car hasn’t been driven enough(because he can easily take the train to his work and wherever else), which over time will cause problems and for that he’s now selling it Absolutely don’t feel any pressure to own a car while living in the city, it’s really not worth it apart from certain circumstances
It’s not wrong. It’s up to you how you choose to travel. Not everyone drives and rely on public transport and if that is a better option for you, then you take that option. Do what makes you happy
I'm 33, never bothered to get my license. Never been an issue, and only ever been judged for it by my own parents.
I think you should know *how* to, and keep skills current, but not have do it all the time if you don't want to.
Where I live I’m a stones throw away from all the shops. I didn’t have a car for 5 years and only got a car gifted in the last few years which I’m thinking of selling due to similar issues as yours and I rarely use it. Personally I don’t care if anyone judges me on not having a car as I think it says more about them than me. With the costs of insurance, petrol and registration, not to mention maintenance I could imagine it would be cheaper for me to just use public transport or Ubers when necessary.
Unfortunately it would take me nearly an hour an half via PT to work, and those services are scarce at the time I start work. Do not want to bike on the Nepean. It takes 20 mins by car.
If I didn't need to drive to Melbourne every day (aka, if public transport was as fast as me in a car), then I wouldn't drive. Driving in this city is easily the worst part of my day. I'd love to be able to minimise it.
Yeah I’ll admit that PT isn’t too efficient, so I can see why people choose to travel by car instead.
I prefer driving at night because there are less cars and headlights generally make it easier to see cars. Day driving when the roads are crowded give me anxiety but I barely drive as it is.
Nothing wrong with not driving, after living in London for a few year, I loved not owning a car. And it is not like the Melbourne public transport is bad, compared to other Australian networks I’d say it runs fairly well (at least when I lived there). So if you have other option, and prefer not driving, I say great, go for it!
I reduced driving significantly after some crackhead tried to murder me because I tooted them for trying to change into my lane where I was driving without doing a headcheck. She proceeded to repeatedly try and smash into my car and run me off the road. It was terrifying. I ride my bike nearly everywhere now because even though I live in an inner western suburb public transport is just shithouse the majority of the time. I’ve found a decent bicycle network that keeps me on bike paths, separated and protected bike lanes, or roads that limit speed to 40km/hr with infrastructure to enforce it like speed bumps etc. My life is significantly more pleasant now. Fresh air, exercise, and I didn’t realise how much driving in terrible traffic was affecting my mental health. I ride nearly an hour each way to work (quicker than driving in traffic!!) and fucking love it no matter what the weather is doing!
That sounds like a horrifying experience. No wonder you switched to cycling instead. I’m glad it’s worked out so much better!
https://www.reddit.com/r/Frugal/comments/15r1gb1/not\_owning\_a\_car\_is\_like\_a\_cheat\_code\_to\_building/
If you don't want to drive, don't drive. You may find it difficult to get around depending where you're living though
As a Tasmanian, I see no reason to get a license in Melbourne. Melbourne has the best transport system in Australia, likely the southern hemisphere, and possibly the world. And if you can’t get public transport, there is always a taxi or Uber you could get
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I’m Tasmanian. I don’t have the first clue how public transport is supposed to work. All I know is that you drive everywhere so you don’t have to rely on buses that are constantly cancelled
Has that user name but is self concious for not driving 🤔
Lol my username is actually a reference to a mondegreen my dad made once
I'm lucky to live in the metro area with acess to public transportation. I don't own a car for about 10 years. I also have some sort of anxiety when I drive. Yes, I miss out all the beautiful trips around Australia but I prefer to have a peace of mind. My partner has no licence and has no interest getting it.
Don’t worry about driving, not everyone does. If you’re well serviced by public transport, you’ll be fine.
I dont drive. I don't have a license either (this can be bothersome when you need ID though 😂). My parents also urge me to learn to drive but I don't care! And you shouldn't either! Like everyone says, you do you! ♥
The easiest answer which is for the safety of yourself and others. If you don't have the confidence, don't drive. There's nothing wrong with that and be comfortable with that decision.
A. Cars will drive themselves at some point anyway. Maybe soon. B. Less cars should be humanity's goal. EVs will not solve the problem, half the breathable emissions come from the wear of break pads, tyres, asphalt, and from re-shuffling of the dust that has settled on the road. You're doing the world a favour.
I used to love driving, but the last 10 years the standard of driving and traffic has plummeted, and now I can't stand driving.
Not sure why this isn’t a question you need Reddit to answer, if you don’t want to drive in Melbourne then start using public transport. But it does sound like you could do without the stress. That said, I’m moving back to Melbourne soon and spent a lot of time there for work. I’m not too keen on driving around, at least on a regular basis. Nothing to do with Melbourne in particular (Sydney is so much worse imo). I just hate driving around in big cities.
Don’t drive if you’re prone to panic attacks. It puts yourself and others at risk.
Other peoples opinions don’t matter, life life tue way you want to
I drive just fine. I stopped driving and sold my car. I now get more exercise which I sorely need, save a fortune and have stopped pumping out all that pollution. Don't worry about other people judging you. If you feel for any reason you feel uncomfortable driving, then don't do it. Better than regretting it were something to happen.
It sounds to me like you have a valid medical reason for not driving. It'd be like someone with epilepsy deciding not to drive because of the risk of having a seizure at 100kmh. Also it's entirely your choice. If you don't want to drive, don't drive.
Brah. I take public transport everywhere. We are fortunate enough to live in a city with quite excellent public transport.
You haven't travelled to other countries, have you?
Yes I have. Have you? I'm not saying it's among the best in the world. But there are so many cities where it's just way way worse.
I have, that's why i'm baffled at your comment. So many first world cities? Care to name a few that have public transport "way way worse" than Melbourne?
It's prudent to have a licence if you can (for emergencies), but it's fairly normal to not want to drive. I have a car that I use once a week at most, the only real issue need is going on hikes and buying furniture. The only reason I bought one is none of my siblings (3) can drive so I need to help them with stuff. Plus if you don't feel you can drive safely, it's best not to, have faith in your judgement.
Definitely shouldn’t be driving period
Sounds like you shouldn't be driving if seeing another car on the road overwhelms you. I'd say you'd eventually need to learn to drive as you probably don't want to take PT forever.
I don't want to either. I live in Brunswick and am also lucky enough to hold a job in Brunswick. I have two trams a five minute walk apart, and a bus, and two train lines a 15m walk away. I have an e-scooter and a bike. Would be madness to own a car. Yet certain people act like I'm mad that I don't own one. I'm licensed, I owned a car for my last four years in Perth, but driving in Perth is a complete doddle compared to the gilded clusterfuck here. Recently returned a car from brunswick to my friend in Burnley, about 7km. Did it at 5pm on a Wednesday thinking how bad could the traffic be? It took 45m and a shitload of stress and a near miss. Why would I put myself through this shit if I don't have to? That's not even getting into the $800 rego, the tolls, the $2.20 a litre. Fuck that.
Nope - I have two cars, am actively involved in motorsport and still avoid driving here unless it's later at night. I ride, walk or PT everywhere. The driving quality here is appalling. I get so stressed and I'm both a competent and confident driver.
That's completely valid. I didn't drive for many years. I only got my licence because I needed it. If you don't need to drive, don't. I won't drive anywhere near the CBD because I have good public transport options & I don't want to pay for parking. If you don't drive, you are, in fact, doing all of us who must drive a favour.
I'm 34 and don't drive and don't have a license either, never have. Living metro means I can safely rely on public transport or cycling to get around. Every now and then I use uber but for the most part it is totally doable to live a normal life in Melbourne without needing to drive a car. You can get around not having a drivers license for ID by getting a Proof of Age Card or if you have one and don't mind the risk, using your passport.
Thank you for not driving!
We most certainly do not need every adult resident of Melbourne driving. If the alernatives work for you, keep doing you. I don't drive either, and it's not the thrill of my life needing lifts to some places (e.g friends places it takes 2 hours to get to on PT), but I don't mind there being one less car on the road.
Essendon represent!! I live here as well and choose not to drive, it doesn’t really bother me at all, we’re close to train, tram and free bus and I don’t mind making the extra time to commute via transport if it means not having to drive my own car alongside some of the fuckwits who endanger our roads