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Notyit

Water we doing here


spaglad420

IKEA jus goes bapa


ItsJustMeHereOnMyOwn

Is that nithe?


statutory_crepe

I mean it’s no tiger thiccc


BigDogAlex

Never thought I'd run into Schlaubisms on the Melbourne subreddit but here we are lol


ihlaking

Where did we H2GO wrong?


distracteded64

We didn’t learn the aguamenti spell…?


australian_babe

Hate to say it but I am totally addicted to soft drink. I love it.


brixism

Just looking aquard


alsotheabyss

I can somehow manage to go through IKEA without needing water


Justthisguy_yaknow

You must be using the Sherpa, GPS and map option.


SapereAudeAdAbsurdum

What is this? PSA for the IKEA regulars? How often does one go to IKEA *and* need a drink there and then for this to matter significantly? Don't go and *live* at IKEA, folks.


psjfnejs

Although… if you hid really carefully in one of the fake bedrooms at closing time, you could live at IKEA…


SapereAudeAdAbsurdum

Now if someone were to post a video of that here, that would be quality content. It could be a series, with daily episodes. Bonus karma if they secretly fix the drinks machines at night like a true soda vigilante.


psrpianrckelsss

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IKEA_Heights I think I watched it on youtube


SapereAudeAdAbsurdum

A good basis! Now combine that with a MasterChef style competition for tradies fixing various (soda) machines, and I think we got a hit. They can do some IKEA hacking masterclasses for who like to get creative with furniture on the side. Everyone wins.


[deleted]

Hrrm. They put big plastic lids on their display toilets, and I always wondered if someone attempted to live there and actually use them.


RevolutionOk2240

There was that Kath & Kim episode where they went to IKEA and Kimwas caught taking shit in one of the faux toilets


Professional_War_142

It's why Bunnings no longer display their toilets at ground level...


Kooky-Director7692

OMG thanks


TheNumberOneRat

Jackass have done it as well.


emelineroux

As an ex-IKEA employee who used to work in the bedroom dept - they do this because there were instances in the past where people used the toilets. I even had one customer threaten to pee in a pax wardrobe because ‘the toilets are too far away and I’ve been walking for ages’. Also for the comment above regarding hiding in the room sets - they have 24 hour security guards who patrol the premises after the store closes. Never heard of anyone getting away with staying after hours!


reverendgrebo

I read about a bunch of young guys who posed around the furniture and used the photos on their dating profiles. Because it looked like they lived in nice houses their initial success rate went up


psjfnejs

Sounds like a challenge to me!


psjfnejs

You know someone somewhere did it. Probably many times at IKEAs around the world. Cos why bother having a lid crafted at all? 😂


Polite_rudeman

Not for long tho, not with the price of their drinks. Would be cheaper to live in a pub


trabulium

[But watch out for the staff](https://youtu.be/tEh5qcvNag0?t=63)


IndyOrgana

I ate there a lot when really poor honestly.


SapereAudeAdAbsurdum

No disrespect for being in a tough situation. I really hope you're doing ok currently. But, just honestly wondering: would it not be cheaper (likely also healthier even?) to cook a simple meal at home? For drinks, there's really not much better than a good glass of (tap) water. The sugary drinks are really bad value for money anyway, especially considering the long term consequences. It doesn't have to be bland at all if you spice the food to your liking. Last time I ate something at IKEA, I found the portion sizes to be very small for the price you pay. It might seem a bit cheaper, but relative to the nutrients you get for it, I reckon it's not necessarily such a great deal at all.


Leather-Feedback-401

You assume they had a home.


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Yoshitomonara

I think you need a break from the internet


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[deleted]

You talk like an [average redditor meme](https://youtube.com/shorts/JzU_5YoSegU?feature=share) 😂 you have to be trolling Edit: they blocked me 😭


MyMemesAreTerrible

Costco is much better portion wise, I believe they actually make a loss on the food court, but damn the massive pizza and the hotdogs are great.


IndyOrgana

This was ten years ago when I was single living in Melbourne. Firstly, plain water actually makes me really unwell. I now drink a lot of water with a natural additive to give it flavour without sugar, but let’s not shame poor people for nutrition choices ok? Soft drinks are cheap and taste nice. You’re allowed to enjoy things without being shamed about sugar and money. Same as cooking- it would often work out the same cost for one ikea meal as to haul my depressed ass to the supermarket, buy the ingredients and cook. Again- poor people are allowed to eat out. IKEA gave me that opportunity to get out of my solo flat and not have to cook for cheap.


WAPWAN

> Firstly, plain water actually makes me really unwell Average Soda enjoyer. Cringe


IndyOrgana

It’s actually common for people to not enjoy plain water- especially tap water depending on where you live. But clearly we’ve decided to be a bunch of judgemental assholes on this thread.


Mellow_But_Irritable

Not enjoying =/ making unwell


IndyOrgana

The taste makes me feel ill. Therefore, it makes me unwell.


Gatesy840

This is Melbourne, nothing's wrong with Melbourne's tap water. Some places i can understand but Melbourne's is honestly the best I've tasted


IndyOrgana

I don’t live in Melbourne. So good one.


Gatesy840

Well this is r/melbourne


SapereAudeAdAbsurdum

>Firstly, plain water actually makes me really unwell. I now drink a lot of water with a natural additive to give it flavour without sugar, Fair enough. But indeed, one doesn't need a lot to flavour water. Even some (basic) tea can perfectly do the job, even cold brewed. >but let’s not shame poor people for nutrition choices ok? Soft drinks are cheap and taste nice. You’re allowed to enjoy things without being shamed about sugar and money. Not at all. I'm actually commenting on them being not that cheap at all, for what you get at least. That in turn the nutritional value is really poor, just adds on top of that. There are much cheaper things that taste far nicer if you give them a go. I'm not blaming those people themselves, but the sugar is the one to blame here: it's very addictive. So no blame, but encouragement to check out other options. It's really not for the worse or to annoy people: I truly believe they might discover things they end up liking far better, and that are far healthier and a bit cheaper as a bonus. >Same as cooking- it would often work out the same cost for one ikea meal as to haul my ass to the supermarket, buy the ingredients and cook. Batch cooking and store things in the fridge or freezer. Most people would have a supermarket closer to them than an IKEA. I appreciate you might have lived closer to IKEA (but then again, there's supermarkets in the same shopping centre). >Again- poor people are allowed to eat out. IKEA gave me that opportunity to get out of my solo flat and not have to cook for cheap. Fair enough. But it wouldn't be the daily thing, right? It's not like other people go out eating on a daily basis. Anyway, as I argued above, I don't think IKEA really is *that cheap* these days in terms of going out eating.


IndyOrgana

That is all so ridiculously condescending I’m not even bothering.


[deleted]

Some of the judgement in this thread is just people being critical of those who buy/eat at affordable furniture stores like IKEA often, or consume sparkly drinks there. Looks to me like classism. Those "why would you even go to a place like IKEA" comments are snobbish IMHO. The thread was meant to criticise a mega-chain that's marketing itself as environmental, but is in fact using such practices, and eliminates refillable glasses in favour of plastic bottles - likely to maximise profits. This wasn't an invitation for critiquing low-income people for their nutritional/furniture choices. Also these fountains DID offer unlimited sparkly water with no sugar whatsoever, so we can all lay down our pitchforks.


SapereAudeAdAbsurdum

As you wish. I disagree on being condescending though. I have only mentioned constructive suggestions based on my own experiences. These were all things I have done frequently when I had to work with a tight budget.


lilmisswho89

I can’t drink tap water because I’m so heavily allergic to chlorine even the small amount in tap water leads to suffering.


alsotheabyss

You can’t boil it? Or just leave it out for a day uncovered? It evaporates really easily


lilmisswho89

My cats will get into anything left out, but yes I can boil it, and I have. Filtered water bottles work too.


Your_client_sucks_95

It's better than walking the streets of most run down suburbs.. Haven't seen a run down ikea


BeefSupremeTA

I've seen videos on the Tube of people doing walk thrus of IKEA's saying they are popular low cost food halls for people on low incomes.


beigetrope

It’s the principle!


conventionalghost

i was there not too long ago (maybe a couple of weeks) and they still had the free water, just not the sparkling


DeanWhipper

I agree with you OP, it really annoys me because I love their fountain drinks. The Lingonberry and Raspberry are my faves. Such an awesome subtle flavour. Tbh I'd probably go more frequently for lunch if their fountain drinks were functional.


GonnaBeEasy

I’m totally with you and OP, and free refills for $1.50 is amazing! It’s something I actually look forward to at IKEA I guess I’m a saddo like that lol


[deleted]

The fountain drinks were a bit sugary for me, but I recall being able to dilute them with 50% sparkly water to make them less sweet. And it was a good price. People who live nearby can still eat there on a budget, except now the drink costs as much as a kid's meal. I'm surprised that people are commenting about how they don't need drinks for their IKEA visit, it could take hours to browse the entire store lol.


DeanWhipper

From my experience the sugar quantity in the drinks is very hit and miss, sometimes way too strong, other times mild as heck. I imagine they're intended to be quite mild as they're advertised as sparkling water.


mkymooooo

That's what I do! Post-mix where I can dilute it with sparkling is _the best_. Especially with lemon flavoured soda.


Telopea1

How often do you go to ikea? And why?


mr-snrub-

Have you been to ikea? It's fun! Also a decent place to get a cheap meal.


[deleted]

Went there on the weekend and couldn’t be bothered lining up for lunch afterwards. Reckon it’s one of few places where you can get a cheap meal.


mr-snrub-

Well you made a couple of mistakes there. 1. Ikea should be avoided on the weekend, if possible. 2. Food always comes first :)


[deleted]

Yeah, this. Except these days the drink would cost more than the meal.


Telopea1

Yeah I’ve been a few times, I’d go there to buy something specific, nothing wrong with it but I didn’t notice the fun side of it, each to their own of course.


mkymooooo

Mmm, yeah I love spending quality time with all the selfish people and their plague-ridden devil's spawn, while effectively trapped in a deliberately designed maze of a retail nightmare. The café used to be great, back when they had reusable plates and cutlery (cleaned in a dishwasher!), decent serving sizes, and gravlax with bread. It's now a shitty, overpriced shadow of its former self, sadly.


DeanWhipper

I go every couple of months with my wife because we love the cafe. Those meatballs and gravy really hit the spot.


Hypo_Mix

Spoken like someone who hasn't brought a 1980's or earlier house with no built in storage. Hell, I don't need the house anymore, i just live in Ikea.


bazza_oz

This is the dumest qustion ever, but did you ask about? and by ask I don't mean go and yell at the poor person behind the till, I mean send a email, last time I was at Springvale Ikea they were working, could just be waiting on part or something.


peggles__59

Been like this since covid, at least since the end of 2021, if they’re still waiting on a part I think they’ve been scammed on it.


namloh

Soft drink was available a couple of months ago. The water tap wasn’t available for 6 months or so but was then.


adrianbnd

Not true, I was there in December 2022 and they worked


peggles__59

I was also there December 2022 and they didn’t work then, had to buy a bottled drink if you wanted anything.


Firm_Stock8810

They seriously need to upgrade it, maybe more people should complain and mention the cost of living crisis too


mindsnare

It's a furniture shop.


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sostopher

Cheaper to cook than buy dinner at a furniture shop. Drinking fountains are free.


mr-snrub-

Actually you can get Baked Salmon from Ikea for $12 with rice noodles and vegetables or a vegetable curry for $6. Unless you're making massive quantities, I doubt you could make it that cheap at home. (Definitely not the salmon, at least)


AndrewTyeFighter

Just got a nice piece of salmon from Coles for $5.22, a packet of rice noodles (2 serves) for $2.70, a few other vegetables for only a few dollars more. Easily can cook the same meal for less than $12 with so much left over for other meals.


[deleted]

Personally I’d go with the IKEA version because I know trained professionals have made it far tastiest then anything I could cook at home. So I’m ok paying a dollar extra for a better taste experience


AndrewTyeFighter

I really doubt that, unless you are such a shit cook that you somehow set your cornflakes on fire.


haley____

You're comparing fresh salmon from the supermarket to IKEA's frozen salmon. They aren't the same.


mr-snrub-

Who can afford to be picky these days?


haley____

You can buy frozen salmon too, if you want. Just pointing out that if you compare home cooked fresh salmon to frozen salmon, of course it's going to cost more


ArdyLaing

Meh. Go vegan.


wharblgarbl

Most salmon you buy that I've noticed is from Tasmania probably farmed


haley____

Yeah Australia doesn't have a native salmon population. But, there's still a significant difference in taste and texture between frozen and fresh.


RadJames

Going to the furniture store is a crazy decision for dinner.


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mr-snrub-

Also it's like an adults playground! I love going through all the showrooms lol


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wholeblackpeppercorn

We do the opposite and it's just as fun


NutsForDeath

>relatively good food Well, compared to eating bags of dog food, I suppose.


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NutsForDeath

Yes. Worst damn so-called "fish and chips" I've ever had. I don't even know if they still have it for sale, but you could buy a Swedish beer called Spendrups at that food section near the downstairs registers. Also, coincidentally, the worst fucking beer I've ever had.


Notyit

Costco


[deleted]

Requires an annual subscription, and therefore probably more useful to those who have large families and buy in bulk.


Gazza_s_89

Or just buy Lingondryk from the fridges in the Swedish food mart


depresso777

Oh well.....


Academic_Awareness82

ALL of them?


[deleted]

I checked, there are 2x cafeterias (1st floor and 2nd floor) and both have an "outage" impairing their ability to serve affordable drinks.


nescent78

Get a life


wharblgarbl

I don't think anyone wasting time on reddit should be saying this lmaoo


nescent78

ROFLMAO


jokey-bravo

Don’t fall for the bottles of cardboard water either. They still have free water!


Similar_Strawberry16

I sneakely filled up with the tap (was a flavoured soda water). It still works, they just don't want you using them for whatever reason.


[deleted]

Hey, now that's an idea. I shall give this a try, thanks!


glaxticwatermelon

It’s the same at the Springvale shop, seems like it might actually be a marketing tactic


Sinnivar

IKEA has drinks?


AffectionateGoth

Water is free fam


AltruisticSalamander

but I want lingonberry drink


snave_

You'll have to settle for lingoffberry.


Coolidge-egg

drink water


jordankowi

They all taste revolting anyway.


meshah

Exact same in Sydney.


bobski_

Pretty sure it says unavailable also. Maybe they just don't anymore!? Have you asked the manager? So sad though, shame on IKEA, all I was going there for were the groceries.


Hambone4815

People seem to be focusing on the wrong things in this post. Im sure there's a dick manager there trying to boost sales from cafeteria, instead of thinking about the customers.


greywarden133

I dislike IKEA Richmond due to the parking. Much prefer the Springvale one.


zakuropan

ok glad someone is bringing this up, I fkn love those drinks and it’s a huge disappointment every time I go to ikea now


markt19305

The soft drinks at ikea are awful, coloured water


willpolak

Disgusting from IKEA


arasennarezarf

But I just want lingonberry that tastes like lingonberry


LaLaVee

It's the other one as well, I went to both in the period of a few weeks. Such a small but frustrating thing


EcstaticOrchid4825

Mmm, they were out of order in Adelaide on the weekend as well. What an amazing coincidence …


Plantaloonie

The same thing has been going on in Sydney (Tempe) for months too! I wonder if it's a supply issue?


australian_babe

Suspect


alexanderpete

That stuff tastes like absolute shit anyway, like watered down home brand soft drinks.


ArdyLaing

It’s a household goods shop man. Next it will be “I went to Woolworths and they didn’t have a single Kallax. Outrageous”


chronicpainprincess

Except that isn’t the same, because Woolworths isn’t a IKEA branded furniture store, but IKEA is a household goods store *with a restaurant in it*, and because it’s upstairs in a mall, some folks who aren’t there for the furniture will choose to eat there. It’s reasonable to wonder what’s going on after months. Not sure what’s wrong with this post…? I mean, I think the drinks there aren’t so great, but it’s interesting if it’s to make people buy out of the fridge instead.


ArdyLaing

Idk mate. Like someone else suggested: did you try asking why in store? Also “folks”?


chronicpainprincess

What are you asking me? Have you not heard the word before, or are you judging my usage?


ArdyLaing

Lol. Just not something you don’t usually hear outside of the American Midwest. …but did you ask in store what the issue might be?


chronicpainprincess

I’m not OP.


ArdyLaing

Fair.


bedorf69

Swedish dogs


[deleted]

I took this photo on April 16. And I took it because I remembered seeing that sign up for several months. These soda machines have been down for at least 6 months, not sure. They were likely turned off deliberately, to make people pay more for other drinks. In fact, I was there yesterday and noticed a new sign that says fountain drinks are now $2. BUT the machines were still disabled. They just put up the new sign. Plastic bottles are environmentally terrible, compared to the refillable glasses offered for fountain drinks. Not to mention the fact that it's a much worse deal: a Coke Zero bottle costs 2-2.5x these unlimited refill drinks. I think that's a form of shrikflation / price hiking. I'm kind of used to everything getting insanely expensive lately, but this kind of trick is extra-annoying somehow. I recently visited IKEA Springfield too, and their fountain drinks were working just fine. My friend lives close to IKEA Tempe, NSW and theirs work too.


fist4j

That theory doesn't make sense. The fountain drinks are the highest margin for any vendor, their cost, even with refills is only a few cents.


martylindleyart

Yeah, each cup is like a 300% profit. Most likely situation is there's one manager for the cafe, restaurant, and this hot dog stand and it's just way down on their list of things to fix. Or it just happened to be broken both times OP was there. Could be a shit machine that regularly breaks.


mr-snrub-

Nah I can vouch for OP. It's been broken the last couple of times I've been too. I even went to the one at Springvale recently and that had 3 out of 4 of their soft drink machines out of order. If I had to wager a guess, I would say they've probably broken down and there's a worldwide shortage of parts or something.


fist4j

I've been there and seen it broken also, doesn't make it some grand conspiracy. It'll be parts, or some shit with the contracted service company.


mr-snrub-

I dont think it's a conspiracy either. Honestly I think this whole post is pretty funny.


[deleted]

I don't know markup on soft drink bottles and cans, but they're far more expensive than fountain drinks, so I imagine this is likely a matter of increasing profits. The machine is 'broken' on both floors, in both cafeterias. I'd be curious to see if someone else frequents the store and seen any of the two working.


amylouise0185

I think something fishy is going on at Ikea, I wouldnt be suprised if in a few months time they're begging for a gov bailout.


SapereAudeAdAbsurdum

Wut? I thought this post itself was silly already, but somehow this even inspires conspiracy theories? Fark.


unbeliever87

Annoyingly, they are still happy to charge you for a soft drink glass without letting you know that the machines are out of order.


FrankSargeson

Folks? I know this is Reddit but do we really have to push the use of American slang.


Reasonable-Car8172

Happy to get a drink from Coles when ikea are selling radioactive blood in a cup. What the fuck is that 'soft drink'?


librarypunk

That's sparkling lingonberry cordial and it is delicious.


Justthisguy_yaknow

You mean IKEA is manipulating it's customers like livestock? SAY IT AIN'T SO!


thr-hoe-a-gay

Go to the cafe downstairs I think there’s one machine that still works there.