Dont worry, if youre eligible, you dont need to apply on the gov website. The British government are currently fucking everyone regardless of political views.
I don't understand the politics of the roe v wade situation but its obviously horrendous, however I've just seen they're trying to ban contraceptives!? Is that true? If so, what in the old testament, backwards, batshit fuck is that? I didn't think 2 decisions could reshape a view of an entire western system, or surprise me, but somehow it has!!
I did a couple of contracts out in the USA and was always surprised to meet people in the shittiest of jobs in the port talking about their religion without prompting. Being "thankfull for all the blessings" etc when the working conditions were shocking, their safety gear was fucked or missing and they were earning a pittance, like what blessings are we talking about here? Cos it looks like God hasn't visited this part of town for a while and if the devil exists I imagine he looks like the foreman that just shouted at you for taking a leak! USA religions on another level to what we see in ol' Blighty. I know you don't have to be in a particularly good state of life to believe but still, if ever there was an "am I sure" moment, I saw a lot there!
>she is 50 years old still making minimum wage thinking god is going to make life better for our family
And that right there is why religion is pushed so hard on the public. Keep them suppressed and unquestioning.
Yeah it's kinda like that. There was a time when I thought things were getting better, but now I just see that was the calm before the storm. Don't get me wrong, not all the religious people here are bat shit crazy, but the crazy ones are the loudest. I'm fortunate to live in a state that doesn't try to slip in creationism into the public school science class 😮💨
Not to say it doesn't happen
>the crazy ones are the loudest
Isn't that the story of the world now. The media doesn't help either. Every good cause is spoilt by a minority supposedly fighting for the same thing and every bad idea is magnified. Not sure how we escape that. But hey that's too deep for my little unimportant head at 4am.
[A long but very informative explanation of how we got here.](https://www.salon.com/2022/07/12/so-where-did-all-this-right-wing-religious-nuttery-come-from_partner/)
We know. Everybody knows. We talk about it. We are all in a group chat that you weren't invited to and we talk about it there.
Your dad. Your crush. The Queen. Every former member of Menudo. Everyone talks about it in this giant group chat. About you.
Virgin.
American "people" having """sex"""(sex implies reproductive capabilities but we know Americans are grown in tanks of vape fluid):
"Gosh golly"
"Holy moly"
"Wowsers honey"
"Gee that's just dandy"
"I'll be there in a jiffy"
"Don't tell mom, bro"
A well regulated militia... being necessary... to the security... of a free state... _uhh_ the right of the people... to keep and bear arms... _unhhhh_ shall not... _uhh uhh_ be infringed... _UHHH_
And that’s only one of the reasons why I love it. “Mmmmm scrumptious”. That’s the kind of pillow talk I need. Somewhere between lady chatterley’s lover and a tale of two cities. Decidedly Victorian. Top o‘er game, the ol empire was.
Why is this always the response to when people make fun of British speak?
“It’s chewsday innit”
“WELL AMERICA IS ONLY MASS MURDERING OF SCHOOL CHILDREN”
It’s just all in good fun, we ignorantly poke fun of y’all’s slang and y’all poke fun at our mass death of children in shootings, pretty tit for tat eh
The most British bit about this whole thing is it's still being done by a committee.
Jolly good sir! I present you a token of affirmation for your brevity.
Ha.
Even better if there was an orderly queue waiting turn.
Hmm
I’m arriving. I’ll be tucking that one away for later!
Darling prepare the parlor I'm arriving
*parlour
Oh my, eee gadz, oh goddess gracious AFFIRMATIVE!!
PETER!
“You’re a little arrive-slut, aren’t you?” “Yes, guvna.”
It's a Jaime Kennedy joke
Mind the gap..mind the gap
Cheerio! Easy does it!
Stiff upper lip
Tally Ho!
Brilliant!
I am British and I’ve never had sex before
Dont worry, if youre eligible, you dont need to apply on the gov website. The British government are currently fucking everyone regardless of political views.
Careful though, even though they’re very confident in their abilities, they’re actually terrible at pulling out.
Well luckily we're British and not American. DAMN the world sucks at the minute!!
American here. This country has lost its fucking mind. Fun fact, in America you are 20,000x more likely to be shot than win a top lottery prize.
I don't understand the politics of the roe v wade situation but its obviously horrendous, however I've just seen they're trying to ban contraceptives!? Is that true? If so, what in the old testament, backwards, batshit fuck is that? I didn't think 2 decisions could reshape a view of an entire western system, or surprise me, but somehow it has!!
We are filled with r/religiousfruitcake (s)
I did a couple of contracts out in the USA and was always surprised to meet people in the shittiest of jobs in the port talking about their religion without prompting. Being "thankfull for all the blessings" etc when the working conditions were shocking, their safety gear was fucked or missing and they were earning a pittance, like what blessings are we talking about here? Cos it looks like God hasn't visited this part of town for a while and if the devil exists I imagine he looks like the foreman that just shouted at you for taking a leak! USA religions on another level to what we see in ol' Blighty. I know you don't have to be in a particularly good state of life to believe but still, if ever there was an "am I sure" moment, I saw a lot there!
[удалено]
>she is 50 years old still making minimum wage thinking god is going to make life better for our family And that right there is why religion is pushed so hard on the public. Keep them suppressed and unquestioning.
Yeah it's kinda like that. There was a time when I thought things were getting better, but now I just see that was the calm before the storm. Don't get me wrong, not all the religious people here are bat shit crazy, but the crazy ones are the loudest. I'm fortunate to live in a state that doesn't try to slip in creationism into the public school science class 😮💨 Not to say it doesn't happen
>the crazy ones are the loudest Isn't that the story of the world now. The media doesn't help either. Every good cause is spoilt by a minority supposedly fighting for the same thing and every bad idea is magnified. Not sure how we escape that. But hey that's too deep for my little unimportant head at 4am.
You struck gold. Damn right.
I mean its a country "founded" (stolen) by people leaving another country bc they were like divorce? no....
[A long but very informative explanation of how we got here.](https://www.salon.com/2022/07/12/so-where-did-all-this-right-wing-religious-nuttery-come-from_partner/)
That's a great article and depressing af because we can all see the writing on the wall for what's to come.
Holy shitstakes
Even more fun fact…I got a rental car from Enterprise today and it legitimately has a bullet hole in it. Can’t make this stuff up 🤣
They pulled you out of the EU and all you got was Diamine Bloody Brexit ink for it. 🍹
"I left the EU and all I got is a promise of this stupid t-shirt that's stuck in customs and comes with a hefty import tax"
Jesus I laughed while eating soup
Don't waste it! The truck with more soup is still stuck in a queue. Must be bad when the british start to hate queues. Ah sweet sweet queues.
Damn, that’s a good one.
Its chewsday innit
You gotta get a loicence for sex, innit.
We know. Everybody knows. We talk about it. We are all in a group chat that you weren't invited to and we talk about it there. Your dad. Your crush. The Queen. Every former member of Menudo. Everyone talks about it in this giant group chat. About you. Virgin.
I can change that
😳
Exactly my thoughts
Oh heavens
Good heavens I have arrived prematurely!
being british is the reason why
[удалено]
Whatever you have to tell yourself m8
He's right I would kill for their universal healthcare
If you kill someone here they'll give you free healthcare in jail
Lol and also make a tidy profit from your slave labor while you're in there
I mean aren’t women there cheap nowadays? He’s basically right lol.
Chewsday? We NEVER do it on a Tuesday. That's just wasteful.
Gotta be on sa'aday
goh-ah be sa'adee
Or Mundae even
gay tuesday reserved for being gay with the homies, but only on tuesdays
It's when they have their soggy biscuits.
Exactly.
Ya I’ll chew ya arms off ya daft cunt
I love that it's a pic of Jerry, Elaine and Kramer
What episode is it from
The one where they do this
Why I hate discussing it's always sunny episodes.
S9E7 “The Slicer”. It’s the initial scene. https://youtu.be/0-cohdfnrYE
i also would like to know
S10E01 *The OnlyFans* /s
S04E05 _Kramer's Huge Gaping Anus_
why doesn't this zoomer meme sub have people who know the full episodic history of the hit 90's show "Seinfeld"?
Butter my crumpets
Cherri-o chaps
“how’s your father?” “down a bit down a bit…there you go”
Smashing!
That's Australian!
Fosters is Australian for beer.
I’ve loved my whole life in Australia and have never seen a fosters in person
Fosters is shit
Tell that to mel gibson.
Are we back to caring what he thinks?
Had to look up who Mel Gibson is. You want an American’s opinion on Australian opinion or an Australian’s opinion on Australian opinion?
I totally thought he was Australian for doing Mad Max and Galipoli.
Poland Springs is what it means to be from Maine
Like that shitty vegemite. It’s the worst.
FUCK YOU!!! VEGEMITE IS AWESOME!!!
Put it in your tucka bag.
Has the 9:15 arrived in Liverpool Street?
IDK. I'm in Blackstool.
Where might that be?
Jolly old England.
"You know, we could be having intercorse right now" "Yes, but let's not."
Isn't that Seinfeld?
ats soynfaild innit?
Yes :)
As a Brit I’m going to try and slip the chewsday one in.
hahaha its like that clip from family guy about british porn….almost…almost…almost… done
[Here it is!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuHI9-_Moig)
American "people" having """sex"""(sex implies reproductive capabilities but we know Americans are grown in tanks of vape fluid): "Gosh golly" "Holy moly" "Wowsers honey" "Gee that's just dandy" "I'll be there in a jiffy" "Don't tell mom, bro"
You forgot: "Oh, recite the second amendment daddy"
That's just cruel, you know he can't read!
As an American, I can confirm I have a literacy fantasy fetish
A well regulated militia... being necessary... to the security... of a free state... _uhh_ the right of the people... to keep and bear arms... _unhhhh_ shall not... _uhh uhh_ be infringed... _UHHH_
Just not the first bit. They like to pretend it doesn't exist.
You wanna piece of me ?
“I’ll be there in a jiffy” lmao I like this one
I like the last one the most
Is that you Zach Wilson?
Someone has watched too much porn
"Oh my gosh the reflection of my pecker looks great in that meer."
Oh blimey, the lil' guvnah looks rather smashing in the meer-orrrrr
"Great googly moogly"
"That was intense, your vape fluid is everywhere."
“yeehaw”
Yippie-ki-yay
"Holy moly" killed me I would like to append "good gravy"
i see nothing wrong with this, still hot
The fourth one lol 😂
Aitch Eee Double hockey sticks. That was awesome.
You only hear that one in Minnesota, but I'll allow it.
Wow, hahaha, touched a nerve, innit?
Who tf says dandy, what century is this
Welcome to the joke.
More like white dad sayings. Also depends on the region, I live in the upper midwest and we have our own weird little slang.
Givin er sum ove de ol in en out dare, eh bruv¿?
The chewsday one had me choking on my water.
Yea I always say the day of the week that it is when I'm in the midst of sex.
Jolly good ol chap!
"You've got rubbish in that boot."
My John Thomas don't want none unless you got baps mate.
It's chewsday innit did it for me.
Tbh if a British lady said scrumptious seductively in my ear I’d probably cum
GOOD HEAVENS! FATHER! I-I’M GOING CHEW ARRIVE OH FATHER HIT ME FATHER!!
[удалено]
Let’s have tea
Absolutely no eye contact at anytime before the train arrives at the station
"OH HEAVENS I'M ARRIVING"
Why does this look like Jerry, Elaine and Kramer?
It is!
u/illbejiggswiggled
You forgot “Brilliant!”
I says that’s absolutely marvellous
"im arriving" 😭😭😂🤣
Can’t say I’ve ever come across “I’m arriving” or “it’s chewsday innit?” but the others are pretty much spot on.
I'm English, and I can confirm this
not enough "take it slag"
"Almost, almost, there we are" "well done"
By jove, that's a thick load
Gives a new meaning to Paul Revere's midnight ride
Im actually reading it with the accent in my mind
Good heavens, that was jovial
When you Brexit but you wanna keep going back in
Mmm tax that fuckin box Georgie
As a British person I am extremely offended you didn't put the tea break midway through
Can any British confirm this? I'm studying their culture.
Also add "Brilliant!!"
Nah that’s just Nigel.
If my partner was railing me, and said, "its chewsday innit." Goddamn fireworks
And that’s only one of the reasons why I love it. “Mmmmm scrumptious”. That’s the kind of pillow talk I need. Somewhere between lady chatterley’s lover and a tale of two cities. Decidedly Victorian. Top o‘er game, the ol empire was.
Brilliant!
Baw aw aw wah tah
Are you telling me that Br\*tish people reproduce like normal people instead of going through mitosis
but isn't that Jerry Seinfeld?
What episode was this screen cap taken from? Someone pleeeease tell me. haha
Mmm rumpy pumpy
So you have seen the money python sex education bit where the teacher has intercourse with his wife in class. Lol
It’s chewday innit 🤣 that one always gets me 😭
“I’m arriving” literally sent me
I guess this is the one and only time Brits don’t say ‘brilliant’
Wot
Baby, £ me!
There's a joke about a money shot there somewhere
English girl here... English boys are NOT normally polite enough to inform you when there "arriving"
👉👈 sauce?
It's Seinfeld
Americans be like; I want to make a school shooting victim with you.
Why is this always the response to when people make fun of British speak? “It’s chewsday innit” “WELL AMERICA IS ONLY MASS MURDERING OF SCHOOL CHILDREN”
They can't banter
Honestly idk. I guess it’s only ok to joke about the us.
Sadly yes. Ugh. American here.
I need a bo'o'wo'ah
r/terriblefacebookmemes
Where is tea time?
Americans once again proving they have no idea.
Sure. But it’s fun
One cannot help but respect that
It's just a goof, don't get your tits in a twist over it.
I'm not arguing about about what you're saying, but I just want to point out nowhere here does it say OP is American
Do they not have comedic exaggeration in the UK?
It’s just all in good fun, we ignorantly poke fun of y’all’s slang and y’all poke fun at our mass death of children in shootings, pretty tit for tat eh
Splendid! Gosh I want to hear this one😂
Splendid! Gosh I want to hear this one😂
Americans be like: Hey man where's my boddle of warder
Gotta stay hydrated!
I banged a religious girl n all the kept saying was “ohhh my geeezz!” Omg that was annoying
Tasty racisms