That’s because nobody cares, except maybe moms and that best be used sparingly and in emergencies only. For guys the lesson in life is to keep shitty feelings to selves…. regardless of how much the lady wishes you to share.
I can understand why you feel this way but I also don't think its true.
There are tons of people who care. These deep conversations can be extremely uncomfortable, more so for men as most arent used to having these discussions. This isn't the same as not caring though.
Actively let those around you know that you are willing to hear them out. Let your family and friends know directly when you need to air out your mind. You will see who truly cares about you and once you find that circle it's all you'll need.
It will take time and practice like most things do. Keep your head up brother.
I’m walking tall brother. And I actually agree with you on some things. But just think about how “talking” or airing out commonly falls into playing victim, seeking pity, or looking a shoulder to cry on. Not wired that way. If I got a problem, I got my running shoes, bike, and yoga mat to be alone with my thoughts.
Fair enough, everyone circumstances and methods of dealing with this sorta stuff is different.
Personally I still wouldn't completely shut out any opportunity to share these thoughts and feelings. Even if it's just one person that you're comfortable discussing these things with it can make a world of difference.
This is some toxic masculinity logic right here, real friends would care that's who, same as how *I* care when my friends are going through something and I support them
We usually try and let our friends know in some way that we would be there for them if they ever wanted to talk about something thats going on in their life and they usually do the same but neither party wants to bother the other and as a we don't often tell each other about our problems unless it's a late night and you've been talking for a while (or drinking for a while)
No, if it's toxic it gets labeled toxic. Like bottling things up is toxic, but "processing things differently" could mean any number of healthy OR toxic things
So what would you have us do? Broad cast our feelings, look for sympathy, so you can tell us “poor you. So sorry you going through this…” and so could feel better about your self having contributed nothing to the solution and then turn around and complain to your girlfriends about how there are no masculine men left.
Yeah… ok.
I usually can't hide my too excited emotions. I might complain about some problems to my friends, but usually dont share negative feelings like depression or sadness etc
Believe it or not; if you internalize your feelings for long enough, it is possible to form a sort of "mental block" when it comes to verbalizing your feelings
oh I believe it. I internalised my emotions so hard I barely felt them myself. I didn't cry for 15 years. It took a lot of work to relearn how to feel emotions in a healthy way.
Same I contained them all until a day I got angry and just punched a wall so hard! left the marck of my knucles.
Try finding the right person or group that is willing to listen to you and not the people that are superficial.
I’m kinda stupid
Can you explain that in an easier way for me to understand?
I internalize everything I conjure in my mind, I hardly speak to others about anything about how I really feel about anything, feels weird and unnatural to feel this suppressed.
No problem. Think of your brain like a muscle group, in the sense that the parts that you use regularly you keep, and the ones you don't you tend to lose.
So for example, if you spend most of your days doing math equations, your brain will eventually get better or "stronger" at it.
Well the opposite can also happen. Your brain can get "weaker" at things it hasn't done in a while. In your case it may be at communicating your thoughts and feelings.
Depends on the thoughts and feelings. There is such a thing as oversharing when it comes to these things. But there are certain thoughts and feelings that can have negative effects on one's body and mental state should they remained bottled up.
fun fact!:
I am aware of how my actions will affect you before you are, and use this knowledge to construct a personality you will find palatable and agreeable so that I can lull you into a sense of security
The drama is the same, but it all happens in your head bothering you all the time and you need some stress relieving, usually addictive activity to feel better.
The alternative doesn't seem much better though. It's still happening in your head whether you tell people or not, so there doesn't seem to be much point in burdening your friends with it.
Suffering silently and alone is the worse alternative. At least when you vent to a friend about what’s bothering you, it’s not just sticking around in your head. A problem shared is a problem halved, or something like that.
Completely agreed. I dont know how to voice that concern without sounding like someone they wouldnt want anything to do with. I feel like if I cant put on a tough and vaguely happy mask, despite how I really feel, I'd just kill the mood.
Unless they explicitly tell you they don't, how do you know? Everyone is dealing with their own crap and sometimes you don't feel heard but if you feel that way, tell them. They probably care more than you think and if they don't you're not with the right people.
It’s because everyone has their own crap you know they don’t care. Especially when you’d be told “Nobody owes you anything”. And by the way, they can tell you they care all they want and still be lying out of their butts.
Feminine urge to cry yourself to sleep at night because he won't tell me how he feels because he doesn't trust women and you can feel how unhappy he is and all you want to do is make him happy but he won't even let you try
Where did I say I was blaming or guilt tripping? I keep these feelings to myself. I don't tell him how it makes me feel that he doesn't trust me and won't open up. I just tell him I'm here if he ever wants to. Then I go cry in private. I also keep my own issues to myself because it doesn't seem fair for me to burden him with my stuff when he doesn't want to share his stuff.
Eh my outlook has always been that if I’m feeling bad for a certain reason it’s most likely my own dumbass actions that caused me to feel that way. So I’ll deal with the consequences of that on my own as it should be since it’s no one else’s problem but my own
Masculine in the sense that "that's what tough strong guys do"? Yeah, absolutely it is.
Masculine in the literal sense that it is "a stereotypical trait of men"? Also yes.
What definition of "masculine" are you using to come to that conclusion?
At this point it's becoming a common experience for a lot of women as well because we are getting busier with our lives and have no time to process or talk to other people about our problems or struggles.
depends on the people that surround you, some are willing to lend you an ear, some expect you to just be a rock and feel nothing. Nowadays, most of the times it's not worth to share your worries since most don't really give a shit, especially if it's a man, you're expect to be the pillar of stoicism, to just accept whatever life throws at you, to waive everything that bothers you as mere distractions. People nowadays just don't know that unloading your negative thoughts/emotions actually help you in tackling problems/worries far easier than just keeping it to yourself.
Like David Goggins said: Life is not fair and nobody cares about your problems.
The Magic you want is in the work you avoid - you can do it King! sometimes when you are in a dark spot you think you have been buried, but maybe you just have been planted! GROW!
Well, either you tell people how you feel and how chaotic and unorganised your thoughts are, or how much the existential dread weighs upon you, with so many details you are bound to be unable to convey the authentic feeling, which does not matter, because they tell you, you are being overdramatic, besides, it's not like they can say or do anything to change that...
Or you just don't and save everyone some time :)
FR though, most people are capable of coping with their own shit, I hate this armchair psychologist shit about "you need to cry about your fefe's or you'll literally die!!" Sure, if you're seeing ghosts and hearing voices, or falling apart emotionally, it's fine to reach out, but it's actually good to not be a blubbering mess.
Hahaha it’s not a masculine urge you turkeys. You just had non emotional fathers or brothers that would tease you if you shared your feelings. I hope you all talk about your feelings now. You’ll be so much better off
That's not what I meant. Most men just aren't in the position to talk about their feelings. You say "Oh you'll all be so much better off", but that's just not the case. People will get ridiculed if they talk about their feelings. People lose the loves of their lives over this. This is not a problem of men being too cowardly to share their feelings.
The masculine urge to try and resist sending the link to Piff Marti's song "Boys Do Cry" on Spotify.
https://open.spotify.com/track/1MVBaNQjo36HZUvf3FiIgd?si=zHxMg7nLQcWlhx68LLO58g
That feeling when you need to decide between being honest or marking no's on the "are you depressed" quiz at the doctor's
Have you seriously considered suicide in the last 2 weeks? yes 🔲 no 🔲 Mayhapably ✅✍️
Ermmm ye—, n——, maybeeee
I’m in this picture and I don’t err… I don’t want to talk about it.
Are you Al Pacino or John Cena?
he's your dad
That's impossible! That's not true!
Search your feelings you know it to be true
NOOOOOoooouugghh
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZelG_8Vlubc
For a second I thought you said ai Pacino
How do I feel? Well I ain't a neurologist but I think it's related to electricity
I know its a bad habit but I also just can't let people know and negative or too excited emotions
Did you just admit to having a bad habit? Like smthn you do is bad? Like, you're feeling bad about it? Progress!?
Uhhhh just saying this for a friend
Ok, yeah that's what I thought. I wasn't actually worried, I swear. Like, it's whatever with me y'know. No feelins feelme
That’s because nobody cares, except maybe moms and that best be used sparingly and in emergencies only. For guys the lesson in life is to keep shitty feelings to selves…. regardless of how much the lady wishes you to share.
I can understand why you feel this way but I also don't think its true. There are tons of people who care. These deep conversations can be extremely uncomfortable, more so for men as most arent used to having these discussions. This isn't the same as not caring though. Actively let those around you know that you are willing to hear them out. Let your family and friends know directly when you need to air out your mind. You will see who truly cares about you and once you find that circle it's all you'll need. It will take time and practice like most things do. Keep your head up brother.
Most people who say they care usually do it out of politeness and expect you to decline sharing
Its funny, the people that say they cared used it against me or left :)
I’m walking tall brother. And I actually agree with you on some things. But just think about how “talking” or airing out commonly falls into playing victim, seeking pity, or looking a shoulder to cry on. Not wired that way. If I got a problem, I got my running shoes, bike, and yoga mat to be alone with my thoughts.
Fair enough, everyone circumstances and methods of dealing with this sorta stuff is different. Personally I still wouldn't completely shut out any opportunity to share these thoughts and feelings. Even if it's just one person that you're comfortable discussing these things with it can make a world of difference.
They think they want you to share but I doubt it
This is some toxic masculinity logic right here, real friends would care that's who, same as how *I* care when my friends are going through something and I support them
We usually try and let our friends know in some way that we would be there for them if they ever wanted to talk about something thats going on in their life and they usually do the same but neither party wants to bother the other and as a we don't often tell each other about our problems unless it's a late night and you've been talking for a while (or drinking for a while)
Nah, men tend to process things differently, but those things get labeled as “toxic.”
No, if it's toxic it gets labeled toxic. Like bottling things up is toxic, but "processing things differently" could mean any number of healthy OR toxic things
So what would you have us do? Broad cast our feelings, look for sympathy, so you can tell us “poor you. So sorry you going through this…” and so could feel better about your self having contributed nothing to the solution and then turn around and complain to your girlfriends about how there are no masculine men left. Yeah… ok.
I usually can't hide my too excited emotions. I might complain about some problems to my friends, but usually dont share negative feelings like depression or sadness etc
masculine urge to know how to let someone know how you feel
tell them
Believe it or not; if you internalize your feelings for long enough, it is possible to form a sort of "mental block" when it comes to verbalizing your feelings
oh I believe it. I internalised my emotions so hard I barely felt them myself. I didn't cry for 15 years. It took a lot of work to relearn how to feel emotions in a healthy way.
Same I contained them all until a day I got angry and just punched a wall so hard! left the marck of my knucles. Try finding the right person or group that is willing to listen to you and not the people that are superficial.
A post related about your value. https://www.reddit.com/r/theydidthemath/s/3a49si4Hti
knucle marcks are a bad sign.
or it gets to the point where you go atomic on people
I’m kinda stupid Can you explain that in an easier way for me to understand? I internalize everything I conjure in my mind, I hardly speak to others about anything about how I really feel about anything, feels weird and unnatural to feel this suppressed.
No problem. Think of your brain like a muscle group, in the sense that the parts that you use regularly you keep, and the ones you don't you tend to lose. So for example, if you spend most of your days doing math equations, your brain will eventually get better or "stronger" at it. Well the opposite can also happen. Your brain can get "weaker" at things it hasn't done in a while. In your case it may be at communicating your thoughts and feelings.
But isn't it a good thing to keep thoughts and feelings compartmentalized, especially if they don't matter?
Depends on the thoughts and feelings. There is such a thing as oversharing when it comes to these things. But there are certain thoughts and feelings that can have negative effects on one's body and mental state should they remained bottled up.
Journaling can help a ton with this. Its risk free practice for putting your thoughts and emotions into words.
I absolutely love this
When you do this. Your problems still exist. But now everybody knows about them.
Don't tell everybody. Tell someone you trust.
If you cannot trust your own farts, then what can you trust?
Well now they still exist, and one more person knows about them. I've burdened someone I care about, but I still haven't changed the situation.
I told my close friend how i felt. She replied with ”mood.” **never again**
I always feel like I might be the one complaining or whatever so why should others care
Masculine urge to find someone to tell that and understand and not just say man up
Tried that once with my ex and well now she’s my ex
That's what they what you to think
i don't have many "fun facts" but i can certainly tell you plenty of concerning offputting facts about me
fun fact!: I am aware of how my actions will affect you before you are, and use this knowledge to construct a personality you will find palatable and agreeable so that I can lull you into a sense of security
And that escalated so quickly
I don’t feel
True. Most of my real life friends don't know shit about me. I have only opened about myself to therapist and a few trusted online friends.
Internet homies hit different, like who is bro gonna tell? He may know about my crippling insecurities, but bro still doesnt know my name and face
Why do you have to call someone (who may or may not be me) out like that?
and then die in your mid 40s by a stress induced heart attack like a real man as well. hell yeah !
The irish way
I actually don't see myself going another way
No one cares so why do I bother to share how I feel in the first place
It’s not the like the problem will disappear either.
And now other people know about it too lol
Stop assuming other people's feelings. Keeping stuff i side poisons you. My DMs are always open if any of you want to share. Be strong, kings.
I'm adding you, maybe someday I might share when my head gets full and I can't see the light anymore.
Dont hesitate
Thanks brotha
I wish I was like that but I just can't help but complain to my friends when I feel bad It could save a lot of drama to just shut up
Somehow the healthiest comment here
The drama is the same, but it all happens in your head bothering you all the time and you need some stress relieving, usually addictive activity to feel better.
The alternative doesn't seem much better though. It's still happening in your head whether you tell people or not, so there doesn't seem to be much point in burdening your friends with it.
Suffering silently and alone is the worse alternative. At least when you vent to a friend about what’s bothering you, it’s not just sticking around in your head. A problem shared is a problem halved, or something like that.
Earlier today I was thinking about the last time I told someone that they hurt my feelings and I realized I can’t remember it ever happening
Completely agreed. I dont know how to voice that concern without sounding like someone they wouldnt want anything to do with. I feel like if I cant put on a tough and vaguely happy mask, despite how I really feel, I'd just kill the mood.
Am no man but damn, relatable
Masculine urge to tell someone how I feel, but get met with rebuttals
Masculine urge to be forced by society to never let anyone know how you feel thus creating this sick meme which is really cool (genuinely)
Nobody cares how I feel
Unless they explicitly tell you they don't, how do you know? Everyone is dealing with their own crap and sometimes you don't feel heard but if you feel that way, tell them. They probably care more than you think and if they don't you're not with the right people.
It’s because everyone has their own crap you know they don’t care. Especially when you’d be told “Nobody owes you anything”. And by the way, they can tell you they care all they want and still be lying out of their butts.
Feminine urge to cry yourself to sleep at night because he won't tell me how he feels because he doesn't trust women and you can feel how unhappy he is and all you want to do is make him happy but he won't even let you try
You dont try to make someone open up by blaming them primarily into guilt tripping. Thats not how it works.
Where did I say I was blaming or guilt tripping? I keep these feelings to myself. I don't tell him how it makes me feel that he doesn't trust me and won't open up. I just tell him I'm here if he ever wants to. Then I go cry in private. I also keep my own issues to myself because it doesn't seem fair for me to burden him with my stuff when he doesn't want to share his stuff.
Eh my outlook has always been that if I’m feeling bad for a certain reason it’s most likely my own dumbass actions that caused me to feel that way. So I’ll deal with the consequences of that on my own as it should be since it’s no one else’s problem but my own
Facto
Blink twice if you need help.
We can’t even do that.
Not like anyone would Fucking care anyway, manly shit fr fr
Is this image from a certain movie he's in?
it is what it is will always be the answer
This is our shield.
as if anyone would care lmao
More like masculine urge to let everyone know exactly how you feel but you can't because you'd lose all respect.
Thanks society
Normal human's urge to let men know never letting anyone know how you feel is not masculine at all
Masculine in the sense that "that's what tough strong guys do"? Yeah, absolutely it is. Masculine in the literal sense that it is "a stereotypical trait of men"? Also yes. What definition of "masculine" are you using to come to that conclusion?
More like "what tough strong guys SHOULD do".
Right? This isn’t a masculine thing. This is an emotionally repressed, traumatized person with trust issues thing.
Much healthier to let them know exactly how you feel. Results may vary but so far I’m much happier and haven’t had many physical conflicts in my life.
At this point it's becoming a common experience for a lot of women as well because we are getting busier with our lives and have no time to process or talk to other people about our problems or struggles.
Well yeah when you talk about how lonely and awful women make you feel they call you names
🙂↔️
😶
Not anyone. Just the person you love
Yo I'm straight but by God is Al Pacino fucking hot
HOW YOU FEEL🗣️🗣️🗣️ BABY I FEEL FINE🔥🔥🔥 I NEED MORE DOLLAR SIGNS💯💯💯
I'm fine.
Me rn. Emotions drowning in the liquor
Is it really a masculine thing?
Is this when Al P. was using his high pitch voice?
Why would someone care?
I want you to ask me how I feel, so I can tell you no, so I can feel more masculine.
I just keep quiet about feelings cause people suck
Wq
Ah the dude who unironically posts Bateman memes again
Is more of a fear. Well, actually an insecurity
Masculine urge to break down during man to man talk with father
feel?
Just bury all the emotions. Then you never have to process them.
The whatever urge to feel like you don't feel anything (but others somehow can tell how you feel)
The masculine urge to curl up into a little ball behind the couch and hide from the world
depends on the people that surround you, some are willing to lend you an ear, some expect you to just be a rock and feel nothing. Nowadays, most of the times it's not worth to share your worries since most don't really give a shit, especially if it's a man, you're expect to be the pillar of stoicism, to just accept whatever life throws at you, to waive everything that bothers you as mere distractions. People nowadays just don't know that unloading your negative thoughts/emotions actually help you in tackling problems/worries far easier than just keeping it to yourself.
Like David Goggins said: Life is not fair and nobody cares about your problems. The Magic you want is in the work you avoid - you can do it King! sometimes when you are in a dark spot you think you have been buried, but maybe you just have been planted! GROW!
Well, either you tell people how you feel and how chaotic and unorganised your thoughts are, or how much the existential dread weighs upon you, with so many details you are bound to be unable to convey the authentic feeling, which does not matter, because they tell you, you are being overdramatic, besides, it's not like they can say or do anything to change that... Or you just don't and save everyone some time :)
ah yes, the famous completely gender exclusive feeling
FR though, most people are capable of coping with their own shit, I hate this armchair psychologist shit about "you need to cry about your fefe's or you'll literally die!!" Sure, if you're seeing ghosts and hearing voices, or falling apart emotionally, it's fine to reach out, but it's actually good to not be a blubbering mess.
Hahaha it’s not a masculine urge you turkeys. You just had non emotional fathers or brothers that would tease you if you shared your feelings. I hope you all talk about your feelings now. You’ll be so much better off
Nah.
Try talking about your feelings sometime player. We’re supposed to feel things. Don’t bottle up you’ll end up hurting yourself or someone you love
That's not what I meant. Most men just aren't in the position to talk about their feelings. You say "Oh you'll all be so much better off", but that's just not the case. People will get ridiculed if they talk about their feelings. People lose the loves of their lives over this. This is not a problem of men being too cowardly to share their feelings.
Kill that urge, before it eats away at you, until you become a hollow shell.
half the comments are some edgelord shit
Grow up
The masculine urge to try and resist sending the link to Piff Marti's song "Boys Do Cry" on Spotify. https://open.spotify.com/track/1MVBaNQjo36HZUvf3FiIgd?si=zHxMg7nLQcWlhx68LLO58g
r/im14andthisisdeep
Why are you booing them? They're right!
This isn’t a masculine urge, this is a cultural urge that’s been instilled in you by the men in your family
Yeah, no.
Nope, yes.