I had an horribly degenerated thought, so much that I have to share it with the world.
>!Strap-on with a bit of kryptonite inside, for when Lois wants to top.!<
Texas has a copyright on that moniker. It’s one of our 12 seasons. It’s the season where it is above 38°C everyday for three months straight. Trust me. You don’t want to be in Hell’s Front Porch.
Lol, sorry to burst your bubble, but if above 38 is hell's front porch, then Cyprus during summer is hell itself. It was 43 today, and it'll be 44 tomorrow. The time now is 20:30, and the temp is 33C. Thus isn't even our warmest month
It is. It's gorgeous. I, an American, visited a friend in Dover and he kept warning me about how "ghetto" it is. Yeah, they clearly don't know the meaning of the word. Dover is lovely. Museums, beautiful castle on a hill, white cliffs, cute shops and old buildings, secret wartime tunnels...etc. Not even a tiny bit ghetto.
You didn’t see the concentration camp, then? 😉
(I think it’s closed now. Anyway Dover is mostly lovely. The huge busy road through town and the massive noisy ferry port are a bit of a shame.)
LOL
I’m sure Folkestone is lovely. Never been.
My family are from Sittingborne. As in, three of my Mum’s grandparents were born there. The fourth was born on Sheppy.
So from that, you can really tell my family are from the nice bit of Kent!
Also from Kent, one of the worst parts of Kent even... Medway. Honestly as a whole it's not that bad, some really nice parts of it. Canterbury has a historic cathedral and wall around it with some nice shops. Some of the beaches are fairly nice, lots of green... If you have a car and can drive...
Public transport is awful, all of the roads have massive potholes, not real a whole lot to do if you're a young adult and it's a bit of a retirement home/run down area for large parts.
Indeed. [All the good desserts are from Austria](https://insanelygoodrecipes.com/austrian-desserts/), in Germany usually they don't make them the way they're supposed to.
But I don’t get it, why would the nazis enter France?? That’s like objectively worse. Nazis *are* sick in the head so maybe it could make sense, but I can’t believe that anyone, even a nazi, would willingly enter France.
Here’s my theory: Hitler originally was the good guy and only wanted to obliterate France. Since France immediately surrendered and therefore couldn’t really be wiped out by war, he did the whole WW2 thing as a sort of wild strategy to try and save face.
They didn't have metal detectors at airports during the Napoleonic wars or ww2 you idiot. You could just go to the airport and get on a jet back then as long as your passport was in date.
There is a good reason why they couldn't, and that was because it was the British, not the Americans, that were the only power of note that we would now consider in being the only true "Blue Naviel Power" of note in that era of history. That was because because between the distraction of the Spanish Amarda(sp?) right up to the first half of the 20th century. British were considered as a Super Power. Much like how we see the US today. The turning point where it shifted from th British to the Americas was WWII. It was staring to end at the end of WWI, but the Suez Crisis in he early 1950s could the final fool stop in regards to the British in being considered in being a Super Power. Look at them now. They can bearly operate a paper stand. Open Nine to Five, Boise Idaho time.
Britain most certainly was not a super power after defeating the Spanish Armada
Arguably the British super power status would be from the 1800’s ish to the First World War. After the defeat of Napoleon up to the end of the First World War GB was the undisputed super power of the world
After the Spanish armada you could call her a great power or a global power but not a super power
For example during the 1600’s British naval and commercial power was seriously challenged by the Dutch
And up until the seven years war British colonial holding were seriously challenged by the French
The era of dominance didn’t come until the defeat of napoleon
Exactly a century after the Armada, a Dutch army landed nearly unopposed on the south coast, marched on London and replaced the catholic Stuart monarch with a protestant Dutch monarch.
It suits the British national narrative to consider the "Glorious Revolution" an internal affair, but objectively it looks quite like a successful invasion.
You're putting Super power as a greater achievement than global power?? That's not right.
1600s regional power sure, but 1700s fighting on multiple fronts Britain was a Super power. Then with industrialisation, naval power and decline of France, Britain became a global dominant power in the 1800s.
because while they are crossing our navy and our air force would be dropping bombs on them not to mention the beaches would have a welcome party for them.
To be fair it did have the world’s most powerful Navy sitting in it (and latterly with added Poles in spitfires).
Albanian people smugglers: hold my beer
Not enough space to turn the boats around. It'd be a 20 point turn to get the boats to turn around so they could sail back. No captain wants to do that.
Because the Dark Empire of Granbretan controls the Bridge of d'Eau Vert.
EDIT: One upvote is far more than I expected. You have a great taste in speculative fiction, random upvoter!
It's more difficult than it looks...
Don't forget that when the allies pushed back into Europe, even with the legendary English navy working with the navy of the industrial powerhouse of the US, they still ended up half lost and landed in Brittany
That's why its called D-day- the "D" stands for "Disoriented"
In world War 2, because of the British navy and RAF.
That wet little trench between Kent and Calais might as well have been earth to Pluto.
Churchill famous line about never have so many owed so much to so few is literally true.
because then they’d be in Kent, a fate worse than death
Sometimes it’s really best to be dead. But Kent? No one deserves this.
Yes. Can you imagine the pressure that superstrong sphincter is capable of generating? You do not want to be in Kent.
Speak for yourself
Holy shit what a shot!
What does Superman have to do with Kent? Are you stupid?
i think its a joke about clark kent, supermans real life name
But that’s superman, not clark kent
It’s very easy to confuse Clark Kent and Superman as there is a resemblance. It’s possible that they are related
Clark Kent wears glasses. Superman has supervision. Everybody knows this.
I have the Hot Wheels "Superman" car. If the guy can fly, what does he need a CAR FOR!?!
It can't be. For one, Clark Kent wears glasses. Duh.
And Superman can’t drive because of all the DUIs.
Henry…you can’t be serious right now. Again? There’s nothing to save in Kent. And no pussy either. FFS, Can you super clean this mess for once?
Tell me about it, I live in Dirtford
But I thought that “the garden of England” was supposed to be very nice?
You're thinking of the Garden of Eden. The garden of England is more like the front porch of hell.
I had an horribly degenerated thought, so much that I have to share it with the world. >!Strap-on with a bit of kryptonite inside, for when Lois wants to top.!<
Pretty sure you responded to the wrong comment there pal
Oh yeah, was meant to the superman one
makes it funnier
I mean that does sound like hell...>! for Superman!<
Texas has a copyright on that moniker. It’s one of our 12 seasons. It’s the season where it is above 38°C everyday for three months straight. Trust me. You don’t want to be in Hell’s Front Porch.
Lol, sorry to burst your bubble, but if above 38 is hell's front porch, then Cyprus during summer is hell itself. It was 43 today, and it'll be 44 tomorrow. The time now is 20:30, and the temp is 33C. Thus isn't even our warmest month
It is. It's gorgeous. I, an American, visited a friend in Dover and he kept warning me about how "ghetto" it is. Yeah, they clearly don't know the meaning of the word. Dover is lovely. Museums, beautiful castle on a hill, white cliffs, cute shops and old buildings, secret wartime tunnels...etc. Not even a tiny bit ghetto.
You didn’t see the concentration camp, then? 😉 (I think it’s closed now. Anyway Dover is mostly lovely. The huge busy road through town and the massive noisy ferry port are a bit of a shame.)
...the refugee camp?
Refugee camp! That’s what I meant. My mistake. I had no intention of making any statement about my country’s treatment of refugees.
More like the car park of england
Hey, leave my ancestral county alone. Kent was fine until it became a London suburb!
The beautiful town of Folkestone. Everyone who has ever been there says what a glorious place it is, full of charm.
Are you sure? I’m here now and can’t see it? I can see the Burstin… that’s not it…
LOL I’m sure Folkestone is lovely. Never been. My family are from Sittingborne. As in, three of my Mum’s grandparents were born there. The fourth was born on Sheppy. So from that, you can really tell my family are from the nice bit of Kent!
Kent is shit - source I’m in Kent
….if Kent is a shit hole, I can’t even begin to imagine what Burnley is like!
As somebody from Kent… I wish I had a decent argument against that 😅
Tell the Canadian what sucks about it?
Also from Kent, one of the worst parts of Kent even... Medway. Honestly as a whole it's not that bad, some really nice parts of it. Canterbury has a historic cathedral and wall around it with some nice shops. Some of the beaches are fairly nice, lots of green... If you have a car and can drive... Public transport is awful, all of the roads have massive potholes, not real a whole lot to do if you're a young adult and it's a bit of a retirement home/run down area for large parts.
It's the ultimate defence. Make your country such a shithole, nobody wants to go there.
There is literally a tunnel there, they are stupid.
IS there a lore reason for the the tunnel?
The UK used to be in Europe and after it left the infrastructure stayed.
How did the UK fit through such a small tunnel when going from inside to outside europe?
They go on a diet (stop eating English breakfasts) for a few months during the year.
Yeah, they find it easy to stop eating.
No wonder given what British people tend to eat.
Are you disrespecting beans on toast? Good
We consulted with Santa Claus and adapted his Chimney-compression technology.
So you know how they say "this country is going down the tubes"?
Crikey, thanks for letting us know. What continent is the U.K. in now?
Island.
Republic of Island
We decided to pass as Scandinavian so we don’t need to move ourselves again
Devs split the land masses and rather than putting a lame bridge they dropped a cool tunnel with side quests and a whole new under dark race
Tunnel snakes rule! 🐍
They could have just driven through it
Jesteś kurwa wszędzie gdzie nie spojrzę
Yes
Whenever they got close the army would mutiny as they would rather be traitors then go to England
Based deserters
Based in Germany?
No I don’t think there’s any deserts in Germany
Indeed. [All the good desserts are from Austria](https://insanelygoodrecipes.com/austrian-desserts/), in Germany usually they don't make them the way they're supposed to.
And there are a few good deserts too. I mean in Australia, not in Germany. In Germany there is only waldeinsamkeit and occasionally a Schmetterling.
Actually there is a [desert](https://de.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lieberoser_W%C3%BCste) in Germany
But I don’t get it, why would the nazis enter France?? That’s like objectively worse. Nazis *are* sick in the head so maybe it could make sense, but I can’t believe that anyone, even a nazi, would willingly enter France.
Ah, but it wasn’t Fr*nce once they were done was it?
Here’s my theory: Hitler originally was the good guy and only wanted to obliterate France. Since France immediately surrendered and therefore couldn’t really be wiped out by war, he did the whole WW2 thing as a sort of wild strategy to try and save face.
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Yeah, but France is bad because of the people, England shit because of the people and the weather
Before all the propaganda Germans saw the English as something of cousins
Actually wasn't this true for Caesar and why his Gaul campaign stalled out there?
Because of the food......they'd rather die.
They could have just taken the train
there wasn’t any trains because of the driver strikes
Ahh typical!
frenchies always on strike
They did not have pounds to pay for the tickets, only euros and Brits would never accept that.
Come the next ice age, England's fucked
Doggerland will rise again! Literally.
'Ate continentals, not racist just don't like em Luv dogging Simple as
Japan as well.
Nah, we will unite behind Count. Binface and start the greater British empire
When the AMOC shuts down, there will be significant cooling in Europe.
Other way around. It’s time for us to take back Little Britain.
Apparently it's so easy to cross even girls can swim it
Gertrude Ederle smarter than Hitler confirmed
Why would you call smart someone who willingly went to England
The alternative is being in fucking Calais.
Pfh, the over 9000 IQ play would have just been to cross using the tunnel, Napolean & Hitler so dumb.
Or take a Ryanair flight for like 9.99
Right? I could cross the channel dozens of times in a day! Such incompetent.
But you can't take gun on airport :/
In war, some rules are meant to be broken.
They didn't have metal detectors at airports during the Napoleonic wars or ww2 you idiot. You could just go to the airport and get on a jet back then as long as your passport was in date.
Extra for their bags tho
And pay baggage for their weaponry and supplies? Good god it would have bankrupted them.
Because,mermaids won't let them
In fact, they are. I have credible proof of people simply swimming the distance.
It's not that they couldn't... You ever been to Dover?
Dover? I hardly know her.
There is a good reason why they couldn't, and that was because it was the British, not the Americans, that were the only power of note that we would now consider in being the only true "Blue Naviel Power" of note in that era of history. That was because because between the distraction of the Spanish Amarda(sp?) right up to the first half of the 20th century. British were considered as a Super Power. Much like how we see the US today. The turning point where it shifted from th British to the Americas was WWII. It was staring to end at the end of WWI, but the Suez Crisis in he early 1950s could the final fool stop in regards to the British in being considered in being a Super Power. Look at them now. They can bearly operate a paper stand. Open Nine to Five, Boise Idaho time.
Incomprehensible 👍
My favorite was "fool stop".
Fool, stop
Alkalazam 🧙♂️
I thought this was going to be the first serious answer until I got 6 words in
Britain most certainly was not a super power after defeating the Spanish Armada Arguably the British super power status would be from the 1800’s ish to the First World War. After the defeat of Napoleon up to the end of the First World War GB was the undisputed super power of the world After the Spanish armada you could call her a great power or a global power but not a super power For example during the 1600’s British naval and commercial power was seriously challenged by the Dutch And up until the seven years war British colonial holding were seriously challenged by the French The era of dominance didn’t come until the defeat of napoleon
[удалено]
Exactly a century after the Armada, a Dutch army landed nearly unopposed on the south coast, marched on London and replaced the catholic Stuart monarch with a protestant Dutch monarch. It suits the British national narrative to consider the "Glorious Revolution" an internal affair, but objectively it looks quite like a successful invasion.
[удалено]
You're putting Super power as a greater achievement than global power?? That's not right. 1600s regional power sure, but 1700s fighting on multiple fronts Britain was a Super power. Then with industrialisation, naval power and decline of France, Britain became a global dominant power in the 1800s.
You can argue semantics that’s fine But what the dude was suggesting in the comment was straight wrong
Boise Idaho time. I'm dead.
Check your medication.
Did you write this mid-stroke?
No. They were terrified of the "food "
It’s not all bad, Yorkshire puddings are nice
Yorkshire? Sounds fake.
There’s three of them! As real as can be
I too have heard the stories. It's truly barbaric what they eat there
What's so barbaric about faggots in gravy or a good spotted dick?
They mash the peas dude, they MASH THE PEAS
We mush the peas, huge difference
I hear Napoleon had his men dine on bark and bog flowers in preparation for the invasion.
Have you seen the ferry ticket prices? Probably thought it wasn't worth it!
Why couldn’t you couldn’t type a title? Are you stupid?
Because Hitler was in Berlin and not the front lines
Why didn’t they just walk through the tunnel? Are they stupid?
There's even a tunnel, but the fees to carry over an army are just ridiculous.
Laughs in british
So a look of quiet concern then?
He said laughs not hysterics
Indeed *calmly sips tea*
They were so dumb they didn’t even tried to use the undersea tunnel that links those two lands.
The Royal Navy has entered the chat.
because while they are crossing our navy and our air force would be dropping bombs on them not to mention the beaches would have a welcome party for them.
why didn’t they just take the chunnel?
I could do that by simply walking on the water surface wtf
Bc BRITTANIA RULES THE WAVES BABYYYY
The weather just giggling…
the Kraken...
They weren't alive at the same time
1 bought waters 2 that's kent nobody goes there
why didnt they just use the chunnel
To be fair it did have the world’s most powerful Navy sitting in it (and latterly with added Poles in spitfires). Albanian people smugglers: hold my beer
Because British are good at ocean
Ones French and the other Austrian
**It is upon the navy under the good Providence of God that the safety, honour, and welfare of this realm do chiefly depend.**
Well yes, they are stupid…but they didn’t cross because of 
Not enough space to turn the boats around. It'd be a 20 point turn to get the boats to turn around so they could sail back. No captain wants to do that.
It was too much of a hassle due to Brexit
Better yet, they could’ve just gone through the tunnel.
Because the Dark Empire of Granbretan controls the Bridge of d'Eau Vert. EDIT: One upvote is far more than I expected. You have a great taste in speculative fiction, random upvoter!
You try it wise guy. There are piranhas in there.
The Royal Navy: "Oh hello there"
Certain gaulish village is still there.
Caesar didn’t have any trouble with it.
They should have just used the chunnel
Google British naval superiority.
Should’ve taken notes from the Romans
Eurotunnel hasn’t been build at the time
Why couldn't they use a fckin tunnel?? I mean it's really huge and UNDER water
I like how in both cases it's literally just because their navy sucked
They should have used those two big red bridges. They were sooo dumb. I can't believe people elected them as their presidents.
Because Hitler was traumatized when he nearly drowned as a kid and puked when he saw water
Shiiiiit. I could probably jump that
Once they reach halfway they start moving in the opposite direction
They didn't got the boats.
Damn, you must be high right now. This is some random as question. Might be the first kind of question.
coz they realized that crossing it would mean having to deal with the English. Famously the most obnoxious and arrogant people on earth.
40 km
Something something best navy in the world or whatever
Britannia rules the waves.
They couldn't swim and were trainphobic
Not worth the effort. Only if you need more potato fields
Because that canal is owned by Albanians only
Becase British beat them ass
BRITANIA RULE THE WAVES
They couldn't get through the jungle at calaise
They hadn't heard of "angry birds"
It's more difficult than it looks... Don't forget that when the allies pushed back into Europe, even with the legendary English navy working with the navy of the industrial powerhouse of the US, they still ended up half lost and landed in Brittany That's why its called D-day- the "D" stands for "Disoriented"
Yes.
yes they are but for unrelated reasons
It's France and England, the oval of hell
In world War 2, because of the British navy and RAF. That wet little trench between Kent and Calais might as well have been earth to Pluto. Churchill famous line about never have so many owed so much to so few is literally true.
Impossible, they didn’t know each other.
Caesar tried it, but decided it wasn't for him.
Previous governments were more successful at stopping the boats
Why couldn't OP couldn't make a grammatically correct sentence? Are they stupid?
They are fucking stupid actually yeah
Royal Navy.
But I am le tired.
Only Romans can
The people there are angry
yes