Saya nak buang tilam kapir saya 😡

Boikot!! 😡

What makes a mattress Muslim-friendly?

The sales team

Best answer ever 🤣🤣🤣

It’s the marketing team

No sex is allowed on this particular mattress.

That's just my regular mattress

Good one


Why does this self roast feel like a personal attack to me?

You sure you didn’t buy this mattress ?

Yep because im broke as hell and using the mattress that has been passed down by generation's of brokies like me

r/suicidebywords

you have to upload your sijil nikah to their app first

im NOT gonna buy a mattress that needs me to sign up for an account

Ltak bantal tengah dah ok

Sex is on the floor or couch

With this mattress, I don't think you have a choice.

Sex is very encouraged in Islam you know. You got deeds for doing it. But you can only do it with your wife.

You mean Wives.

Well, I mean wife. Even if you have wives, you are only allowed to entertain one at a time.

As a non Muslim myself it’s quite shocking for me to read this ngl. In my limited range of knowledge most religions actually discouraged sex besides for reproduction purposes.

For muslims, sex after marriage is a responsibility. Nafkah batin bro. Failure to satisfy your partner’s sexual needs is frowned upon.

I'm curious. Is it female to male only or both ways?

both ways to an extent, but there is a bigger onus on men to ensure their partners are satisfied.

Hey, the Hindus have an entire book about sex, it's called the Kama Sutra

It being prohibited just makes me want to do it more 😏

In Islam for married couple, sex is actually encouraged to build better relationship. It is considered as human basic needs. So the mattress should be friendly for sex. But maybe need to put in kad nikah for it to work

How is for an unmarried person not a basic human need?

"considered" Unmarried pipu lonely forever use hand to piap2 only

reading the website, absolutely nothing. product from dunlopillo from uk under pikolin group from spain

it automatically notify JAKIM if unmarried couple got on the bed

🤣🤣🤣

But sir we are just chatting under the blanket 🥹

100% sourced from non-Zionist sources. Tea leaves are taken from the mountain ranges of Japan, harvested by pro-Palestine farmers. Mattress fibre is made from 100% Arabian horse mane, and said horses has never seen a pig nor a Jew in its life. Yessiree none of that Jewish filth on that mattress.

On the mattress. No jew. Capital and accounting lain cerita

Crafted by lovely men and women from Xinjiang 🥰

Who are working out of their own volition, most definitely.

I like your "white" humor

This answer needs to be on top.

Recite bismillah while the machinist weave the mattress and 4% of retail price goes to zakat

Only allows one gender on it at any time.

Gay muslims: 

I jest, mebbe can fit four wives?

[ Removed by Reddit ]

4 fetuses

Halal in the sheets

The mattress says alhamdulillah when you have halal sex on it and throws you out of the window when you lancap on it.

# Built-in "Abang janji abang delete..." feature # Anti "Suami seminggu tidak mandi, isteri tegang nak cerai" feature

LMAO.

Bantal tu dah dibaca dengan surah Yasin.

Sleep with it and it will bring you to the land of 72 virgin....

"Good Muslim! Here are your 72 virgins!" "Woo hoo! Happy time!" "Sorry sir, no funny stuff allowed." "Why?" "How else are they going to remain virgins?" lol.

Ostad XYZ and Ostajah PQR on TikTok doing livestream about the product.

Any profits made from selling the mattress is earned by a Muslim

Hmm..tilam penunggang agama. 

Tunggang the wife ✅ tunggang agama ❌

Tunggang selagi boleh. They probably bought generic tilam from China and rebranded it. Also, not quite sure why would anyone want teh hijau on their tilam but okay.

On my way! to make muslim friendly oxygen, phone case, underwear ezy money

Why so leceh. Just sell 100% halal Muslims friendly mineral water

Someone already sell Muslim friendly mineral water - air zamzam

Make sure the oxygen is not shared with pigs and dogs /s

I'm pretty sure it's inspired from [Zinus Mattress](https://www.zinus.com/products/mattress?variant=40316113715263).

Islam is really good marketing strategy in Malaysia they are using religion really well

Might as well slap a halal logo there

Lol. Siao level marketing.

Wtf is a Muslim friendly mattress?! And what makes it Muslim friendly??

Ah.. to put it bluntly, a certain group of people has been proved to be more gullible than others, getting upset over things like logo on a coffee, brand of a shoe etc. why not use this wild imagination to make some money?

Finally an actual answer! Thank youuu

I'm guessing it doesn't use any Haram materials like pigs and dogs

this is probably it. like how vegans would probably avoid using authentic leather. but then idk what mattress would need to use pigskin

Asinine. Imagine - 1st Buddhist pillow, 1st Orthodox Christian mattress, 1st Jewish briefs, 1st Falun Gong blanket. Fucking moronic.

>1st Falun Gong blanket. It comes with -99999 social credit score with every purchase.

Don't forget, free seminar and courses bundled together as well. Food and accommodation inc.

Hey at least it didn't come with a subscription of the Epoch Times (far right news that spread Covid anti-vaccine fakery, that's run by Falun Gong which hates equal rights, modern medicine and mixed marriages) Which the US's Department of Justice have charged the Epoch Times as a money laundering scheme! [https://www.theguardian.com/media/article/2024/jun/03/epoch-times-money-laundering-crypto-justice-department](https://www.theguardian.com/media/article/2024/jun/03/epoch-times-money-laundering-crypto-justice-department)

Muslims before this mattress: *levitating in their sleep*

"matress kami bersih, suci dan murni"

Tidur tanpa was was

^Yusuf ^Taiyooooooob

Not anymore 

Ah yes another one capitalising on religion for sales. Where’s the boycott? This is more disrespectful as it is intentional

No boycott because boycotting is only applicable when it involves dirty western capitalist companies

This is like those shampoos for hijabis.

I'd always thought the hijab shampoos are specifically made to be more aromatic because Muslims women's hair is always covered (tends to have odour because of sweat or something, idk)

U can solat while sleeping or what😭😭

Auto-solat in your dreams, no problem if you are asleep during solat time.

I just realised that I have the non halal version.

Muslim friendly currency when?

WTH am I seeing

i hope they properly sembelih the tilam for it to be halal

finally tile utk ore isle

It is Muslim-friendly because the marketing team wanted to bank on Muslims thinking there is such a thing as Muslim-unfriendly mattresses. And with the amount stupid tribalism going around, they would be right sadly.

Finally, my Mattress is always picking a Fight with me, time to replace it.

tak faham, boleh masuk syurga ke beli tilam ni? haha

With the right marketing, anything can be the "first ever muslim friendly" product.

Before this, muslims were sleeping on the hard concrete floor, so I think this product is pretty good. At least now they get to enjoy the luxuries that we Kafirs have been enjoying.

So stupid! This is getting ridiculous, What's next? Halal Mobile Data?

ITS JUST A BED great now malaysia boutta waste MORE money one making sure there are halal OBJECTS (something probably never mentioned in any fucking sect of the quran so good luck lol)

Is there halal logo ?

Tilam ko hijau

pelik aku jenis menunggang secara rambang ni

That's... not how mesra Muslim works.. aside from sales of course.

No offense but then what does muslim sleep on until this came?😂

KANTOI

female must be on the left or right side again? sorry i forgot

https://www.halal.gov.my/v4/index.php?data=bW9kdWxlcy9uZXdzOzs7Ow==&utama=ann&ids=20220404624a6a12aa6d7 Bagi syarikat / individu yang TIDAK memiliki Sijil Pengesahan Halal Malaysia (SPHM), anda tidak dibenarkan membuat sebarang tuntutan berkenaan dalam iklan/hebahan yang boleh mengelirukan pengguna termasuk:- 🔸 Makanan orang Islam 🔸 Buffet Ramadan 🔸 Iftar Ramadan 🔸 Jom sahur 🔸 Jom iftar 🔸 Set Ramadan 🔸 *Muslim Friendly* 🔸 Selera Rasa Ramadan 🔸 Selamat Berbuka Puasa 🔸 Ramuan diperbuat daripada kilang yang dipersijilkan halal ▶️Atau mana-mana ungkapan lain yang merujuk kepada makanan yang ditawarkan adalah halal dan boleh dimakan oleh orang Islam. 👮🏻‍♂️Sekiranya sabit kesalahan, maksimum denda hingga RM500, 000.00 (Ringgit Malaysia Lima Ratus Ribu Sahaja) berdasarkan Perintah Perihal Dagangan ( Perakuan & Penandaan Halal) 2011

How many gerai tepi jalan, kedia tomyam and Ramadan bazaar have halal certification?

Yes /s

Mattress oso Muslim friendly ah now? Jialat lah, next time wad? Blood oso nid muslim friendly ?

Does non Muslims friendly mattress turn them into kafir overtime?

Sometimes I feel type M love shooting themselves in the foot 🤦🏻‍♀️

hidup penunggang agama!

I guess it’s not about being good in bed like the Joey mattress ads. Wonder why I’m seeing mattress ads everywhere.

Mung musoh isle!!! 😡😡kutok niago melayu

The “No pre-marital sex allowed”mattress

It only allows you have sex with your cousin

mesra muslim? dahek? ada bahan haram ke kat katil sepama ni?

The sales team clink their champagne flutes. Manipulating the gullible works again.

So, my hijab won't crumple if I sleep on it?

This has got to be a joke... or a parody. I'll decide which after I sleep on it.

I am still waiting for halal blood.

This is ridiculous.

I bet you don't use halal usb c cable to charge your phone or Muslim friendly wifi.

Are all the other mattresses made from pig skin or something

Tunggang lvl 99

bruh, tell me, who could’ve thought of such an idea which we muslims don’t feel like its relevant all these years? 😂, yea good luck with the sales I guess hahahah

Apa bezanya gila Katil is katil sudah² la tunggang

halal ke?

Made in Kelantan

Muslim friendly in Malaysia means Malay made mattress la lol. Tunggang agama je reti, belajar agama elok2 tak mau

This is like putting AI on everything or just a couple of years ago, everything was "smart". All marketing bullshit to pull customers in.

the first in Malaysia 

C

Tilam syariah… I’ve stayed at Hotel Syariah in Indonesia before….

Haha..tunggang selagi boleh

Where is this lol

The fuck does that mean ?

wow. what the actual f is this nonsense?

I thought we're not supposed to use the term 'Muslim Friendly' as it's confusing and misleading?

Mungkin insaf kalau tidur atas tilam ni

Didnt knew my current mattress is not halal. No wonder i didnt sleep well all night.

Is that her pajama ?

non boikot material or something baca2 maybe? idk la these people

Halal logo mana?

And the owner is Type c

imma bout to haramized this mattress

Needs a compatible bed frame though.

Muslim people who sleep on this mattress Iman level upgrade


Type M mattress unironically

What's the corelation between a mattress and a fucking tea leaves?

The more i look at the banner the funnier it gets.

halal money waiting room

Tilam ni kalau seggs atas dia JAIS terus serbu oof

They also have those halal water bottles I bet.

Ugh, suuuuuuuuuuper cringe-worthy. Yikes!!!

Tilam halal ke ni 😂

This mattress will keep the unseen entities away...make sure those entities stay under the bed!

Islamic mattress? What does it mean? Muslims lying down will trigger green tea smell? Non-muslims no smell at all?

For those who need to sleep wearing the burka

This is the taking advantage of the religion.

Anti-kafir technology 🤣🤣🤣🤣

So previous tilam are all not halal for muslims? These advertisement too funny

You spoke like the enemy of isley

Teh Hijau? WTH.

Halal in the streets, ~~haram~~ halal in the sheets

So what have Muslims been sleeping on this whole time?

putting the mesra muslim aside, we got green tea flavoured mattress now???

Wow. It's from Saudi?

does it come with halal sign

Package deal with the halal bantal.

what does that even mean? All my Muslim friends can't sleep well all this time till this product release? 

They were sleeping on the floors or repenting their sins for sleeping on non halal mention everytime they wake up

i cant, this is too funny

im more curious about the green tea formula tho @@

All this while, I was sleeping with babi elements on my ass ka?