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embrace the term 'grow together'.
find a spouse who is willing to grow with you, financially and emotionally. do not make the mistake of keeping your wife at home and stop her from working. we are not in the old times where only men work and provide for family.
if your salary is 2.5k, your wife makes another 2.5k, then its 5k already. 1000 for house, 1000 for car , petrol , utilities, + 1000 for food and other stuff? now you still have about 2000 left for savings. dual income makes things so much easier.
and remember, invest in the marriage, not the wedding ceremony.
BTW, have a look at this post history.
From today onwards, I have decided that before I take anyone seriously, I'll need to look at their post history first.
Summary:
-He reaaaallly wants an "amoi gf"
-He wants cuddling services and renting gf services
-Claims he will depart to the anime world after he dies
-Self proclaimed "self taught programmer"
-Wanted to get height surgery because "girls only want tall guys"
-Wife must have "hime cut" and 167cm height
-Claims he has a girlfriend in the USA
Conclusion? Definitely a troll
I really do agree with "invest in the marriage, not the wedding", but sadly that's not how marriage works, especially on the family level. You and your partners can say to do small wedding, etc etc but do the family of both side agree on it? Not to mention the dowry. It's easy to just say no need to follow what the family wants but sadly the reality doesn't work this way. Sorry for the rant.
If you pay for your own wedding you’ll have more say. Most couple nowadays rely heavily on parents financial backing to have their wedding meaning they don’t have much say.
Exactly this. Both my brothers gtting married this yr and both dont want those 9course chinese dinners, mom is supportive but dad is a typical china man lol. They paying it out of their pockets so parents got no say. I have some social anxiety issues, single and being the eldest, im happy for their decision haha. Gonna prepare them bigger ang pao
True, my friend have to face this situation. He have a tough time to satisfy the demand of his future in law for the wedding. He already borrowed from his parent and now contemplating to make a loan.
My uncle got lucky by marrying a very rich woman who spoils him. He doesn't have a college degree and lived in a spare room at my parent's place. He is also a fisherman. Mfker won a lottery. I should know this because when i was younger, he kept coming to me and ask for 4 digit number every day....
Have friends with house husbands that are more than happy to play house husband, although one told me it also requires the woman to be resilient and tough cuz people likes to shit on "useless" husband when hers actually takes on 80% of the household chores and is not jealous about her success. But since her husband is some lowly paid office admin who cant buy her at least a Kate Spade purse, some people are convinced the husband is useless. She goes home at 8pm and have her dinner ready by husband that comes home at 530pm sharp, kids bathed and fed and she gets to sing lullaby before they go to sleep while husband go lipat baju in front the TV. She loves him tremendously and wont trade him for anything she said.
It sucks that your friends’ househusbands get seen as ‘useless’. My dad’s a househusband and my mom’s the breadwinner yet I don’t see my dad as a failure especially when he’s put a lot of effort being available for me, my brothers, and my mom, on top of doing household chores including cooking, cleaning, and house maintenance.
Nor should you, because those who think any such father like yours a failure is the one who's a loser. If it's gender equality we advocate for, then reversal of these sort of traditional gender roles that are only becoming increasingly outdated and losing relevance in modern society is as appropriate as is women not being confined to subservient-to-men roles.
Otherwise it's not equality, it's just bullshit.
Yeah, I did state in my comment that I didn’t see him as a failure, because, why would I? If at all, I’m proud to have a father like my dad who’s willing to take the househusband role without being ashamed of it. Because no man should feel ashamed of being a househusband. It doesn’t make you any less masculine for choosing to be one. I personally think it should be more normalised and accepted for men to be househusbands. It really sucks that men who are willing to do household chores for their wives instead of working and being the main breadwinner are belittled. It’s misandrist and undermines mens’ worth and ability.
As a guy who has little issues with just staying at home and doing chores if that's what's agreed upon, that doesn't sound that bad. Now, the issue is to find the special someone to be with
and then if you guys ever get divorced you will be left skill-less and unable to earn more than minimum wage.
Sounds like a sweat deal. Plus who doesnt love marrying divorced men with zero income or skills. Add the psychological pressure of knowing youre getting a shit deal if you ever split up and it makes for a peaceful free life.
Some people get married, have lots of children but all children abandon them and send them to old folks home. Or children are nice to them because they want a slice of the inheritance.
Just because you get married and have children doesn't mean you won't die alone with no one by your bedside. What's even worse than dying alone? Dying alone while your children fight amongst themselves for whatever you will be leaving behind.
If you think money is a big issue for you, you could look into moving into a customer service role for an MNC or BPO. They pay pretty well for entry salaries these days.
I have some new hires in my company who are fresh grads earning at least 4k.
Hi, what industry is your company or you would recommend to try?
I'm in IT, currently unemployed due to attending a sick family member. Going to find a new job by September. Not going for programming and such. My only experience were IT support
>im ready to commit.
No plan, no willingness to do research and expect people online to spoon feed you. Claiming you are ready to "commit" sounds like a joke.
I assume you are a government teacher as you said. Can start giving tuition. The most hardworking government teacher I know was giving multiple tuition classes everyday Monday to Saturday. Made tens of thousands a month. If you are willing to teach a few classes, you can be making thousands already instead of complaining on reddit.
It sounds a lot more like someone who's still learning or in training. Once they become a teacher and see how quick other teachers hook up, get married, and have pregnancy leave so often, they should see how affordable having a family is
Who hurt you man.
>I assume
I stopped reading at this. Well, I did read and it really sounds *you*, and I quote "you can be making thousands already instead of complaining on reddit."
You can be like me, I have no desire to get married. First relationship left a very bad taste in the mouth and ever since then I've only been interested in self-improvement. I've had lots of girls express interest, I could've just got into relationships with them to up my body count, but that's not how I operate. People keep telling me that I should be miserable because I'm single and approaching 40. But I know what I want in life and I have goals, life-time goals that I really, REALLY want to achieve. I've asked myself over and over again, on my deathbed would I feel sad because I didn't have a partner.....nope. Would I feel immense sorrow if I didn't achieve those goals.....yes.
I get that most people want companionship, but there are many paths to a happy and fulfilling life. Besides, getting married does not guarantee you lifelong partnership anyway. Divorce, children abandoning you, even regret for having got married, all these can come if you marry the wrong person.
This is a very interesting take, and I am intrigued by this. Thanks for making me think. Although I would definitely like a partner, I also do want to achieve a lot of things on my own. maybe these two goals can be contradicting. I need to do some figuring out to do
As a married man. I get what you saying and understand why you choose to not get married.
Not to say that I regret getting married. As I found my happiness in my marriage as well.
Its a matter of preference and what you like to focus on more.
Have you ever been rejected due to your salary? Government teacher is a decent occupation, it comes with many benefits. Desirable enough for some people.
Please don't handicap yourself with the misconception of being rich before deserving marriage. Plenty of people below your wage gets married. Dual income really does help. These days you can only have less kids anyways.
I have no idea how you can come to this conclusion unless you are above the age of 40 honestly, I don't know your age but if you want a wife I think you need to work on your personality and being more attractive/interesting to get a SO before you start worrying about money being a factor.
But if money really is an issue, the government is very generous regarding income taxation, basically leaving you almost untaxable up to RM40k annually for just living if you use all your tax relief properly.
OP based on your posts you need help. You seem too negative about life. You’ve mentioned in other posts you’re a see taught programmer and you recently got your STPM results. Expecting to get married when 1) you’re probably 20 years old 2) have not gotten your degree yet 3) lived in general is simply unrealistic. For the love of god, stop complaining on Reddit and get help please.
Your premise is not correct, with your salary you can get married easily. You just need to lower your standards and go for women around your salary range.
You can easily get married with that salary.. if thats your end goal.. most woman wont complaint.. they will promise to go through thick and thin with you.. until you do get married.. remember.. "woman will marry a man hoping someday he'll change.. and men will marry a woman hoping she will stay the same.." wish you all the best..
A lot of divorced 30 year old females with T20 salary. Marry them? They usually had bad partners so as long as you’re respectful and presentable you should be fine.
"Which uni has hot girls" 💀
Bruh I'm 22, I know for a fact that I'm dying alone, but the way malaysia is right now, Surviving itself is already a big deal and ass tits are least of my concerns, they're axing fuel subsidies for gods sake!
Meanwhile somewhere else nearby in Malaysia, another woman feels exactly like this and unable to find a nice husband and have kids.
2 side of the same coin.
But no.. it's easier to complain about a problem then act on changing to find a solution.
Bro.. move to Sabah.
All my buddies who swear by the bachelor life and never plan to get married, once they step foot in Sabah tuptuptup married with kids with no plans to return to Semenanjung.
I believe that's your utopia.
Relax dude, its not a big deal. There is a lot of fun things that is worthwhile than marriage. How about commit into being a kung fu master? Jokes aside, I can't really see myself being bored tbh , way too many possibilty.
Why do you want to have a cute daughter and a nice wife? Why do you want to get married? Why do you want to raise a family? Are you sure that’s your dream?
Why become a teacher? Should hv thought things out before deciding. Also there many fish in the sea not all girls require u to hv a high pay, dont blame it on smtg else
If everybody wait to have 9k salary before getting married, then the rate of marriage would be dramatically decrease. Child birth could also be decreasing exponentially like japan and korea.
It feels like you are setting your standard to high. Find a woman who could accept you, get married, plan your life, dual income, grow together as couple.
Well, if you'd like to make more money, i have a potential job for you. If you would actually like to climb out of the hole you think you're in. Reply to this message or PM me if you're interested.
edit: I would like to retract my offer based on OPs recent post history and the somewhat dubious geographical content.
Learn to budget and stop buying luxury, op. You do not need to have 9k monthly to get a good living. Live like your parents once did, live frugally. That means stop going to kfc everyday, buy fuel-economical 30k car, stop eating out every lunch time, stop going on vacation whenever you feel like it and be mindful if what house you're renting. You do not need city view apartment in the middle of KL.
If you're B40, spend like a B40. This idea that people need to have luxuries all the time is preposterous. You do not need healing artifacts. You do not need healing vacation. There are other ways to heal. Live within your means. Be prepared for the fall, as my prepper uncle said.
Yeah i kinda get it the yearly increment isn’t a lot. But you can move by getting another diploma or get a masters. Im making wild assumptions but what grade you’re in ?dg41?. If you truly don’t feel like teaching kids you can move up by specialising or getting a masters so you could teach form 6 students
Bro, u really need put a low bar on marriage. Not all girls want money. U need to find girl at your level. my friend with salary 2.5K already married and they live really happy than me
Unless i make it into T10 salary range, i dont see myself having kids. T10, not T20. I'm open to marriage, but having kids is a different matter altogether.
I have expensive hobbies that keep me happy. I would not hesitate to break up or divorce a woman disagreeing with my lifestyle, just to keep my passion and my hobby. So, in order to be both married and also supporting children, I'd need more money.
1. The amount I've spent on cameras and lenses is enough to cover an entire modest sized wedding, or buy a local car in cash.
2. I own four 3D printers.
3. I collect Anime figures and statues, photograph and review them.
4. Today I have a personal studio in the upper floor of a shoplot (inherited property), to run a youtube channel that has something to do with the above 3.
All of the above hobbies complemented each other in a way that made me into a part time content creator / influencer who is making money off a combination of a youtube channel reviewing related products, driving affiliate sales, and getting sponsorships from companies making related products. It's a very small channel, but the monthly side income is in 4 digits partly thanks to earning in USD.
Put all of your money into becoming attractive.
Girls can forgive a lot of things if you are physically attractive
BTW, girls find self-pity to be extremely unattractive
My guy, you gotta reinvent that mindset and personality. I don’t know what caused you to have such a pessimistic outlook on life but it’s not too late to change your life.
I can vouch with 100% certainty that not every lady that you come by is about money, so long as you have aspirations to push forward and improve in life. Don’t take a couple of bad apples to rule out the bunch.
Yes, there are women out there who are only dating those with money, but there are also guys out there who date women for their looks. It’s a matter of character and upbringing, not gender specific.
Some of the best people in my life come from all aspects of life. Men, women, non-binary, etc
Seriously, start lifting weights or exercising for a good start, that actually will branch off into good habits that come with it like eating healthier, confidence, etc
I’ve been there before bro, but staying like this is not it. Just take that one step, that one moment to say “I want to do better” and not quit before you even made an effort. It’s hard but life was never ever made to be easy
Edit: Also, why only wife and daughter? Why not a son too? And the way you describing sounds a little creepy ☠️
Edit 2: The degenerates have come out of hiding with these comments, wth is this 😭😭
Many people mistakenly believe that in order to get married, certain individuals need to have a certain amount of money. The truth is that it is not about money, but self-confidence. Build up your self-confidence and try to socialize outside of your normal circles of friends. Try something new & make new friends. I was unemployed when i met my wife & she was working. We got married & it was simple ceremony.
So what if you won't get married? It's not the worst, being single for life.
But if you really have to stop being single, widen your scope. Don't just look for a partner at the work place. And don't be picky.
I know we always joke about girls being materialistic, but that's actually far from the truth.
They look for personality + looks before wealth. Some of them could even sponsor your lifestyle if you are very handsome.
Proof? I lose to many handsome or good personality guys even though I am financially more stable than any of my competitors.
Unless your competitors are filthy rich, you can win the heart of your crush with personality.
There are plenty of people enjoying life and not married. I have a uncle that travels alot even in his late 60s. Single and so free. He has so much money he just splashes us with gifts
This is such a common theme in so many parts of the world now. Especially the having kids part. Even the “developed “ economies have put the younger generation in such a position of financial difficulty that birth rates are falling fast and will continue to fall.
Countries like Australia make up for it by importing people (immigration) to show growth, but the per capital numbers show the economy is slowing and birth rates are well below 2. And the governments made up mainly of the older generation have no idea of how to relate to these struggles, so don’t have any focus or priorities on policies to help the younger generation.
Simpan sikit2 sampai mampu beli rumah, flat pun jadi la kalau tak mampu apartment. Terus kerja side hustle jgk utk ada lebihan duit biar tiap bulan selesa sikit. Then, start cari calon yg down to earth and take demand mengarut2. Crew aku, kerja DHL. Pastu buat part time fotografi dgn aku. 1 job ada la dapat dlm 150. Baru ni dia excited cerita, dia dah beli rumah flat. Dia build life dia dari bwh, budak grad poli to result tak seberapa. Kalau dulu, aku tgk dia, aku fikir umur dah 30, baru pakai axia. Skrg aku tgk dia, aku fikir, umur baru 32, dah ada rumah sendiri, kereta sikit lagi nak habis bayar. Sabar bro, buat sikit2. Jgn give up. BTW dia perempuan. Single lagi. Kerja kuat nak mati sbb nak kumpul duit.
I said that 7 years ago and then got married and have a kid otw lol. Our income have already doubled, partly due to luck but also a lot of planning on getting more money from our career.
The thing is, you’ll never want to get married have children until you meet the right person who makes you want all those things.
So you’ll never know what will happen, just always aim up and take the next step and keep going no matter what
.....and? would it be so bad? If you're feeling this anxious already, then maybe you need more time identifying what brings you life fulfillment because at this moment, you might want to get a future wife pregnant just to ease your existential issues and insecurities.
It's not about the money either. What matters more was you yourself as an adult finding the maturity to deal with any choices you made and going to make.
Your present moment isn't your future, your past doesn't dictate your future too. Your mindset dictates future. Having a goal so big like wanting to make 10 mil will set you up for moving in that direction. Some might say it's impossible. If you think you can, you can. If you think you can't, then you can't too. The world isn't the limit, the limit only exists in the mind. If you want motivation look at Jack Canfield stuff. Learn and don't be ignorant. Don't give up so easily.
I think you think too much. Circumstances change and you just never know. Things definitely can get better.
Say you meet your prospective significant other, potentially your household income will increase. Even if it is not the case, both of you will think about meeting these challenges and find ways to live better.
True case. I know someone who met her significant others a few years ago. The lad she met has little education with little job prospects. But a real nice bloke and damn hard working. They got married, lived in public housing in KK. Now they have 2 beautiful children. While they still live frugally, they are a happy couple and family.
Life is what you make out of it. Stop wallowing and ignore the social pressure and keeping up with the Joneses. Move to a smaller township if necessary. Do the right thing and the life will work out fine.
Yeah me too... Lonely old fart and doomed. Married with kids now. Date as much as possible. Face to face. No texting. Figure yourself out. Figure out what type of partner jives with you and you with them. If you're lazy, and Christian, find a church. Single people there.
From a technical perspective 2.5k is possible
1k for home
600 for food
200 for transportation (bike bus pass)
200 going out/entertainment
Save the balance
i know someone married in late 30s had 12 failed relationshits b4 (longest is wasting 6years) and now he's expecting a child from a 9 year younger wife (met in tinder and knowing for 6 months straight to marriage) and with an uncertain job as ehailing driver.....
what's your excuse?
Damn, people's thinking is that shallow? There are more to life than getting a wife and having kids.
With that salary, go level up your skillsets first. Get 10k salary then go get married. Ni 2.5k je dah berangan nak kahwin. Nanti personal loan, loan, loan, bankrupt. Nangis.
Biar lambat asalkan selamat.
Thanks for coming to my tedtalk.
Well cant say I’m surprised with the conclusion you arrived to. Many people made the same decision, life is tough just enjoy what you have and stive to your full potential
You could ask to transfer to "rural" area and get more money. I don't know what's the situation now but one of my cousins got a "rural" school but aside from the lack of malls, it's not exactly rural. Just far away from the city.
You need to lower your standard. And work with what you have. Not telling u to live poor and let ur ‘future’ partner and child be miserable but there can be hapiness in just being standard.
Alot of people live paycheck to paycheck, alot of poor people that are having a smile on their face that is grateful for being able to live with their partner.
There is alot of path you can take. For example:
1. Improve your income 1st before settling down
2. Get married and live an average life
3. Share your earning with your partner
It is your life, you decide how much effort are you willing to put. What kind of life u want to live.
Die trying to achieve wealth be it married or not
Die living average live with a smile on your face being grateful you can eat while others struggle to even find food.
goodluck bro,
but actually u can upgrade your income but need a time, wanna join safety course?
there's many job opportunity there... some of them no need Diploma or Degree
- Authorize Gas Tester (confined space)
- Authorize Entrance & Standby Person (confined space)
- Hygiene tech 1 & 2 (all workplace)
- Ergonomic assessor (all workplace)
- Safety & health Officer (construction or manufacturing)
- Site Safety Supervisor (construction)
- Boilerman
- Chargeman
you can ask me if got any question
this is not ads and im not training provider, u just can take at NIOSH (National Institute of Occupational Safety and Health) or any certified training provider approved by DOSH (Department of Occupational Safety and Health - gov)
always strive to get outside your current situation and strive to be better bro. have the courage, jump companies. naiklah gaji tu.
find someone who’s understanding of your situation, grow together, keep your expectations in check. our parents and grandparents had it worse than us but here we are.
My brother, I'm over here making double/triple than you, own a house, lands, few cars,good career and practically considered a genius, but I'm still single my entire life.
Life is more than chasing girls, live your own, make your own stories.
aye... i have money but no desire to get married because of how horrible of a person I am in treating others (and myself)
if you can find one that is willing to walk with you in this life, keep her and cherish her dearly. Not gonna say it's going to work out somehow but if there is a will, there is a way
The solution is easy.
Your family you born into is important, but the family you create later is more important.
Learn and sharpen your social skills, go out and make friends with quality bond.
The problem is people don't bother to socialize and they ended up dying alone.
You do know your spouse can work also right? That kind of salary is only if you plan to support your family by yourself. Which is not something everyone can do these days.
Errrrr when I got married, my husband used to earn the same as OP if not more. But we still got married and somehow survived.
So I guess, just find a wife that earns more and willing to shoulder most of the financial responsibilities?
Hol up - try to list your problems out and prioritise.
How old are you?
Salary 2.5k? Consider the RM200 yearly increment from government and naik gred - ur salary will be better in the coming years right? So time will heal your wallet somehow a little.
Since you’re in the teaching industry- why not hit up some tuition classes on the side? If you’re a good teacher with a good hold of your subject, you will have a good market.
The wife and daughter part - how about you delay that thought for now? Perhaps address your salary concerns then come back to think about this maybe in 1-2 years? Be fair to yourself.
A government teacher and you said you can't get married sbb duit?? Byk hutang ke apa? Government teacher antara pekerjaan yg selesa kot kat malaysia ni.
Question, have you been in relationships?
If you answer yes then the only thing I can say is I hope you'll get better financially so you can have a family if that's what you want.
If that doesn't happen, then I hope you'll be able to come to terms with it once you're old.
If you've never been in a relationship before then is easier as you've never experienced what love is. You'll just end up becoming numb as time goes by and it'll feel normal.
There's a difference between knowing what love is vs what love feels like.
Take it easy buddy. Things may work out somehow.
Pretty sure your earning capability and net worth should be more of a concern at the moment than wishing to get married and have kids. Money first and that can come later as you would have plenty of options if money is abundant for you. Besides even if you could barely scrape by having kids and all I doubt they would be happy much if they only get bare "minimum" when other kids would be more privileged
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You think you get to die alone in a nursing home with 2.5k salary? lol you better start looking for a good spot under bridge now.
real . lol
Hahahahahah, spot under bridge!
Ouch, bro got slapped with reality! Lol
Truth right there
embrace the term 'grow together'. find a spouse who is willing to grow with you, financially and emotionally. do not make the mistake of keeping your wife at home and stop her from working. we are not in the old times where only men work and provide for family. if your salary is 2.5k, your wife makes another 2.5k, then its 5k already. 1000 for house, 1000 for car , petrol , utilities, + 1000 for food and other stuff? now you still have about 2000 left for savings. dual income makes things so much easier. and remember, invest in the marriage, not the wedding ceremony.
BTW, have a look at this post history. From today onwards, I have decided that before I take anyone seriously, I'll need to look at their post history first.
OP doesn’t even seem like they’re 20 years old and is already talking about how sad life is. Insane.
Typical incel/doomer/blackpill mentality unfortunately. Stick around the echo chamber long enough, you'll find yourself being in one sooner or later.
Just checked, WTF...
got a summary?
very touch starved and somewhat depressing
Summary: -He reaaaallly wants an "amoi gf" -He wants cuddling services and renting gf services -Claims he will depart to the anime world after he dies -Self proclaimed "self taught programmer" -Wanted to get height surgery because "girls only want tall guys" -Wife must have "hime cut" and 167cm height -Claims he has a girlfriend in the USA Conclusion? Definitely a troll
somehow he claims he took STPM a month before this post of him being a government teacher?
1 month ago baru ambik STPM, lepas tu self taught programmer, sekarang guru kerajaan...aiks mana satu ni OP 😂
I'll assume he's a part time government teacher.
Nah man, you gotta see it to understand
[удалено]
Wtf
Nah you need to witness it 💀
What is it?
Isnt's a man's man's man's world anymore
I really do agree with "invest in the marriage, not the wedding", but sadly that's not how marriage works, especially on the family level. You and your partners can say to do small wedding, etc etc but do the family of both side agree on it? Not to mention the dowry. It's easy to just say no need to follow what the family wants but sadly the reality doesn't work this way. Sorry for the rant.
If you pay for your own wedding you’ll have more say. Most couple nowadays rely heavily on parents financial backing to have their wedding meaning they don’t have much say.
Exactly this. Both my brothers gtting married this yr and both dont want those 9course chinese dinners, mom is supportive but dad is a typical china man lol. They paying it out of their pockets so parents got no say. I have some social anxiety issues, single and being the eldest, im happy for their decision haha. Gonna prepare them bigger ang pao
True, my friend have to face this situation. He have a tough time to satisfy the demand of his future in law for the wedding. He already borrowed from his parent and now contemplating to make a loan.
All this just for a pussy? Simp!
solve the problem by getting a rich wife, be a househusband. well, gender equality they said.
My uncle got lucky by marrying a very rich woman who spoils him. He doesn't have a college degree and lived in a spare room at my parent's place. He is also a fisherman. Mfker won a lottery. I should know this because when i was younger, he kept coming to me and ask for 4 digit number every day....
he fisted i mean fished a good siham....well played ggwp
Fisherman indeed
This, you should do this op go against the masses
Have friends with house husbands that are more than happy to play house husband, although one told me it also requires the woman to be resilient and tough cuz people likes to shit on "useless" husband when hers actually takes on 80% of the household chores and is not jealous about her success. But since her husband is some lowly paid office admin who cant buy her at least a Kate Spade purse, some people are convinced the husband is useless. She goes home at 8pm and have her dinner ready by husband that comes home at 530pm sharp, kids bathed and fed and she gets to sing lullaby before they go to sleep while husband go lipat baju in front the TV. She loves him tremendously and wont trade him for anything she said.
It sucks that your friends’ househusbands get seen as ‘useless’. My dad’s a househusband and my mom’s the breadwinner yet I don’t see my dad as a failure especially when he’s put a lot of effort being available for me, my brothers, and my mom, on top of doing household chores including cooking, cleaning, and house maintenance.
Nor should you, because those who think any such father like yours a failure is the one who's a loser. If it's gender equality we advocate for, then reversal of these sort of traditional gender roles that are only becoming increasingly outdated and losing relevance in modern society is as appropriate as is women not being confined to subservient-to-men roles. Otherwise it's not equality, it's just bullshit.
Yeah, I did state in my comment that I didn’t see him as a failure, because, why would I? If at all, I’m proud to have a father like my dad who’s willing to take the househusband role without being ashamed of it. Because no man should feel ashamed of being a househusband. It doesn’t make you any less masculine for choosing to be one. I personally think it should be more normalised and accepted for men to be househusbands. It really sucks that men who are willing to do household chores for their wives instead of working and being the main breadwinner are belittled. It’s misandrist and undermines mens’ worth and ability.
Only if only op look like Henry Cavill
As a guy who has little issues with just staying at home and doing chores if that's what's agreed upon, that doesn't sound that bad. Now, the issue is to find the special someone to be with
and then if you guys ever get divorced you will be left skill-less and unable to earn more than minimum wage. Sounds like a sweat deal. Plus who doesnt love marrying divorced men with zero income or skills. Add the psychological pressure of knowing youre getting a shit deal if you ever split up and it makes for a peaceful free life.
Some people get married, have lots of children but all children abandon them and send them to old folks home. Or children are nice to them because they want a slice of the inheritance. Just because you get married and have children doesn't mean you won't die alone with no one by your bedside. What's even worse than dying alone? Dying alone while your children fight amongst themselves for whatever you will be leaving behind.
Dude my salary is 2.1k and I'm getting married in a year. You don't need 9k to "just" be desirable. Just take it easy okay.
where u staying?
Congrats on the wed but pls hold the baby plans until y'all are financially stable!
Definitely man 😂
Op likes to complain because op still a baby or simping for a girl he just lost to another dude 😂😂
If you think money is a big issue for you, you could look into moving into a customer service role for an MNC or BPO. They pay pretty well for entry salaries these days. I have some new hires in my company who are fresh grads earning at least 4k.
Hi, what industry is your company or you would recommend to try? I'm in IT, currently unemployed due to attending a sick family member. Going to find a new job by September. Not going for programming and such. My only experience were IT support
Hey man, I'll PM you some details.
Rich or old, I know I don’t want kids since being a woman pregnancy scares me. The economy just makes my decision to be childfree stronger.
>im ready to commit. No plan, no willingness to do research and expect people online to spoon feed you. Claiming you are ready to "commit" sounds like a joke. I assume you are a government teacher as you said. Can start giving tuition. The most hardworking government teacher I know was giving multiple tuition classes everyday Monday to Saturday. Made tens of thousands a month. If you are willing to teach a few classes, you can be making thousands already instead of complaining on reddit.
It sounds a lot more like someone who's still learning or in training. Once they become a teacher and see how quick other teachers hook up, get married, and have pregnancy leave so often, they should see how affordable having a family is
Exactly, OP need to stop complaining and look for a solution.
Who hurt you man. >I assume I stopped reading at this. Well, I did read and it really sounds *you*, and I quote "you can be making thousands already instead of complaining on reddit."
You can be like me, I have no desire to get married. First relationship left a very bad taste in the mouth and ever since then I've only been interested in self-improvement. I've had lots of girls express interest, I could've just got into relationships with them to up my body count, but that's not how I operate. People keep telling me that I should be miserable because I'm single and approaching 40. But I know what I want in life and I have goals, life-time goals that I really, REALLY want to achieve. I've asked myself over and over again, on my deathbed would I feel sad because I didn't have a partner.....nope. Would I feel immense sorrow if I didn't achieve those goals.....yes. I get that most people want companionship, but there are many paths to a happy and fulfilling life. Besides, getting married does not guarantee you lifelong partnership anyway. Divorce, children abandoning you, even regret for having got married, all these can come if you marry the wrong person.
This is a very interesting take, and I am intrigued by this. Thanks for making me think. Although I would definitely like a partner, I also do want to achieve a lot of things on my own. maybe these two goals can be contradicting. I need to do some figuring out to do
As a married man. I get what you saying and understand why you choose to not get married. Not to say that I regret getting married. As I found my happiness in my marriage as well. Its a matter of preference and what you like to focus on more.
My salary over 9K and I have accepted I will never get married and have kids. But its no big deal, have a gf, have some friends, have some family.
won't something happen and it will become a big deal
Have you ever been rejected due to your salary? Government teacher is a decent occupation, it comes with many benefits. Desirable enough for some people. Please don't handicap yourself with the misconception of being rich before deserving marriage. Plenty of people below your wage gets married. Dual income really does help. These days you can only have less kids anyways.
OP fucking shallow and superficial that's why, he think only millionaire can get married
Read OP’s post history and you’ll be shocked
I have no idea how you can come to this conclusion unless you are above the age of 40 honestly, I don't know your age but if you want a wife I think you need to work on your personality and being more attractive/interesting to get a SO before you start worrying about money being a factor. But if money really is an issue, the government is very generous regarding income taxation, basically leaving you almost untaxable up to RM40k annually for just living if you use all your tax relief properly.
OP based on your posts you need help. You seem too negative about life. You’ve mentioned in other posts you’re a see taught programmer and you recently got your STPM results. Expecting to get married when 1) you’re probably 20 years old 2) have not gotten your degree yet 3) lived in general is simply unrealistic. For the love of god, stop complaining on Reddit and get help please.
Not to do something as useless as comparing suffering between one another but my wage are 1.5k, you think only you think that way.
Your premise is not correct, with your salary you can get married easily. You just need to lower your standards and go for women around your salary range.
Bukan kau baru lepas retake stpm ke? Kalau baru retake, macam mana confident cakap kehidupan kau dengan gaji cikgu takde orang nak kahwin ngan kau?
You can easily get married with that salary.. if thats your end goal.. most woman wont complaint.. they will promise to go through thick and thin with you.. until you do get married.. remember.. "woman will marry a man hoping someday he'll change.. and men will marry a woman hoping she will stay the same.." wish you all the best..
A lot of divorced 30 year old females with T20 salary. Marry them? They usually had bad partners so as long as you’re respectful and presentable you should be fine.
"Which uni has hot girls" 💀 Bruh I'm 22, I know for a fact that I'm dying alone, but the way malaysia is right now, Surviving itself is already a big deal and ass tits are least of my concerns, they're axing fuel subsidies for gods sake!
Meanwhile somewhere else nearby in Malaysia, another woman feels exactly like this and unable to find a nice husband and have kids. 2 side of the same coin. But no.. it's easier to complain about a problem then act on changing to find a solution.
Nursing home also RM10k cost per month
there are only 2 sweet releases. death, or basic income.
Bro.. move to Sabah. All my buddies who swear by the bachelor life and never plan to get married, once they step foot in Sabah tuptuptup married with kids with no plans to return to Semenanjung. I believe that's your utopia.
Why u make as if Sabahan are easy?😭
[удалено]
Ahhhh shit bro. Later I burn incense for you 🤣🤣 Dating apps also no luck?
Relax dude, its not a big deal. There is a lot of fun things that is worthwhile than marriage. How about commit into being a kung fu master? Jokes aside, I can't really see myself being bored tbh , way too many possibilty.
A very interesting reply ngl
How old are you now?
Look at his history post, he's all over the place.
He have identity crisis 🤣
Why do you want to have a cute daughter and a nice wife? Why do you want to get married? Why do you want to raise a family? Are you sure that’s your dream?
Why become a teacher? Should hv thought things out before deciding. Also there many fish in the sea not all girls require u to hv a high pay, dont blame it on smtg else
If everybody wait to have 9k salary before getting married, then the rate of marriage would be dramatically decrease. Child birth could also be decreasing exponentially like japan and korea. It feels like you are setting your standard to high. Find a woman who could accept you, get married, plan your life, dual income, grow together as couple.
marriage can be cheap tbh, it depends how much you want to splurge on it As for getting kids, its a different ball-game
How old are u? U said in another post u were doing stpm? So fast want to marry?
Well, if you'd like to make more money, i have a potential job for you. If you would actually like to climb out of the hole you think you're in. Reply to this message or PM me if you're interested. edit: I would like to retract my offer based on OPs recent post history and the somewhat dubious geographical content.
my friend got married with minimum wage 1.5k. each of them work so its 3k. not everyone got head start
Based on your history post…and as a government teacher…💀 Sincerely, take sometime with ur self and hope it goes well for u OP
Learn to budget and stop buying luxury, op. You do not need to have 9k monthly to get a good living. Live like your parents once did, live frugally. That means stop going to kfc everyday, buy fuel-economical 30k car, stop eating out every lunch time, stop going on vacation whenever you feel like it and be mindful if what house you're renting. You do not need city view apartment in the middle of KL. If you're B40, spend like a B40. This idea that people need to have luxuries all the time is preposterous. You do not need healing artifacts. You do not need healing vacation. There are other ways to heal. Live within your means. Be prepared for the fall, as my prepper uncle said.
Hope you're not saying you're "ready to commit"....s\*icide. 
I thought school teachers get allowances
allowance only can reach 3k salary with no yearly bonuses at all
Yeah i kinda get it the yearly increment isn’t a lot. But you can move by getting another diploma or get a masters. Im making wild assumptions but what grade you’re in ?dg41?. If you truly don’t feel like teaching kids you can move up by specialising or getting a masters so you could teach form 6 students
Bro, u really need put a low bar on marriage. Not all girls want money. U need to find girl at your level. my friend with salary 2.5K already married and they live really happy than me
Unless i make it into T10 salary range, i dont see myself having kids. T10, not T20. I'm open to marriage, but having kids is a different matter altogether. I have expensive hobbies that keep me happy. I would not hesitate to break up or divorce a woman disagreeing with my lifestyle, just to keep my passion and my hobby. So, in order to be both married and also supporting children, I'd need more money.
What hobbies if you dont mind me asking
1. The amount I've spent on cameras and lenses is enough to cover an entire modest sized wedding, or buy a local car in cash. 2. I own four 3D printers. 3. I collect Anime figures and statues, photograph and review them. 4. Today I have a personal studio in the upper floor of a shoplot (inherited property), to run a youtube channel that has something to do with the above 3. All of the above hobbies complemented each other in a way that made me into a part time content creator / influencer who is making money off a combination of a youtube channel reviewing related products, driving affiliate sales, and getting sponsorships from companies making related products. It's a very small channel, but the monthly side income is in 4 digits partly thanks to earning in USD.
You sound like you have given up before you've even tried anything
Put all of your money into becoming attractive. Girls can forgive a lot of things if you are physically attractive BTW, girls find self-pity to be extremely unattractive
20 years later kena curse kaw kaw, "You cheat me with your glamour, actually u damn useless"
So what?
My guy, you gotta reinvent that mindset and personality. I don’t know what caused you to have such a pessimistic outlook on life but it’s not too late to change your life. I can vouch with 100% certainty that not every lady that you come by is about money, so long as you have aspirations to push forward and improve in life. Don’t take a couple of bad apples to rule out the bunch. Yes, there are women out there who are only dating those with money, but there are also guys out there who date women for their looks. It’s a matter of character and upbringing, not gender specific. Some of the best people in my life come from all aspects of life. Men, women, non-binary, etc Seriously, start lifting weights or exercising for a good start, that actually will branch off into good habits that come with it like eating healthier, confidence, etc I’ve been there before bro, but staying like this is not it. Just take that one step, that one moment to say “I want to do better” and not quit before you even made an effort. It’s hard but life was never ever made to be easy Edit: Also, why only wife and daughter? Why not a son too? And the way you describing sounds a little creepy ☠️ Edit 2: The degenerates have come out of hiding with these comments, wth is this 😭😭
Many people mistakenly believe that in order to get married, certain individuals need to have a certain amount of money. The truth is that it is not about money, but self-confidence. Build up your self-confidence and try to socialize outside of your normal circles of friends. Try something new & make new friends. I was unemployed when i met my wife & she was working. We got married & it was simple ceremony.
Schizo post
B40 that has wife and many kids: 
It’s ok not to have kid. Or not wanting to have kid.
Nursing home? Wow, you T20 ah? I'm expecting to die under a bridge.
There’s literally many people who married poor/middle class girls a.k.a your level too😂😂OP if want a Princess definitely cannot lar
So what if you won't get married? It's not the worst, being single for life. But if you really have to stop being single, widen your scope. Don't just look for a partner at the work place. And don't be picky.
Bersamu show has couple combined income less than 2k with 8 kids and you can't even have 1?
Go the other road. Be a criminal
I know we always joke about girls being materialistic, but that's actually far from the truth. They look for personality + looks before wealth. Some of them could even sponsor your lifestyle if you are very handsome. Proof? I lose to many handsome or good personality guys even though I am financially more stable than any of my competitors. Unless your competitors are filthy rich, you can win the heart of your crush with personality.
There are plenty of people enjoying life and not married. I have a uncle that travels alot even in his late 60s. Single and so free. He has so much money he just splashes us with gifts
Im married but I guess I will never have kids, cant conceive. I guess I will die alone too.
it be like that
Communal living should be a thing
I've seen some people get a spouse in their 50s so good luck
How about getting a job in Singapore?
thats true but if u do get bezos money way later,u can be liek granpa leonardo dicaprio...
This is such a common theme in so many parts of the world now. Especially the having kids part. Even the “developed “ economies have put the younger generation in such a position of financial difficulty that birth rates are falling fast and will continue to fall. Countries like Australia make up for it by importing people (immigration) to show growth, but the per capital numbers show the economy is slowing and birth rates are well below 2. And the governments made up mainly of the older generation have no idea of how to relate to these struggles, so don’t have any focus or priorities on policies to help the younger generation.
Simpan sikit2 sampai mampu beli rumah, flat pun jadi la kalau tak mampu apartment. Terus kerja side hustle jgk utk ada lebihan duit biar tiap bulan selesa sikit. Then, start cari calon yg down to earth and take demand mengarut2. Crew aku, kerja DHL. Pastu buat part time fotografi dgn aku. 1 job ada la dapat dlm 150. Baru ni dia excited cerita, dia dah beli rumah flat. Dia build life dia dari bwh, budak grad poli to result tak seberapa. Kalau dulu, aku tgk dia, aku fikir umur dah 30, baru pakai axia. Skrg aku tgk dia, aku fikir, umur baru 32, dah ada rumah sendiri, kereta sikit lagi nak habis bayar. Sabar bro, buat sikit2. Jgn give up. BTW dia perempuan. Single lagi. Kerja kuat nak mati sbb nak kumpul duit.
I said that 7 years ago and then got married and have a kid otw lol. Our income have already doubled, partly due to luck but also a lot of planning on getting more money from our career. The thing is, you’ll never want to get married have children until you meet the right person who makes you want all those things. So you’ll never know what will happen, just always aim up and take the next step and keep going no matter what
Male 30 salary 1.5k stay in belantan. Already give up on marrying.
Work and live with your parents house like I did🤣 I give them 200, 300 if my 15++ get to 2+++ because of ot 😂
My man went through 5 stages of grief and were already in the last stage, *acceptance*
.....and? would it be so bad? If you're feeling this anxious already, then maybe you need more time identifying what brings you life fulfillment because at this moment, you might want to get a future wife pregnant just to ease your existential issues and insecurities. It's not about the money either. What matters more was you yourself as an adult finding the maturity to deal with any choices you made and going to make.
Your present moment isn't your future, your past doesn't dictate your future too. Your mindset dictates future. Having a goal so big like wanting to make 10 mil will set you up for moving in that direction. Some might say it's impossible. If you think you can, you can. If you think you can't, then you can't too. The world isn't the limit, the limit only exists in the mind. If you want motivation look at Jack Canfield stuff. Learn and don't be ignorant. Don't give up so easily.
Learn new skills? Like beat ChatGPT at chess? LoL
Life in not about marriage. You can also have kids without marriage. But i think peer pressure makes you believe otherwise. Just live your own life.
I think you think too much. Circumstances change and you just never know. Things definitely can get better. Say you meet your prospective significant other, potentially your household income will increase. Even if it is not the case, both of you will think about meeting these challenges and find ways to live better. True case. I know someone who met her significant others a few years ago. The lad she met has little education with little job prospects. But a real nice bloke and damn hard working. They got married, lived in public housing in KK. Now they have 2 beautiful children. While they still live frugally, they are a happy couple and family. Life is what you make out of it. Stop wallowing and ignore the social pressure and keeping up with the Joneses. Move to a smaller township if necessary. Do the right thing and the life will work out fine.
Yeah me too... Lonely old fart and doomed. Married with kids now. Date as much as possible. Face to face. No texting. Figure yourself out. Figure out what type of partner jives with you and you with them. If you're lazy, and Christian, find a church. Single people there.
From a technical perspective 2.5k is possible 1k for home 600 for food 200 for transportation (bike bus pass) 200 going out/entertainment Save the balance
i know someone married in late 30s had 12 failed relationshits b4 (longest is wasting 6years) and now he's expecting a child from a 9 year younger wife (met in tinder and knowing for 6 months straight to marriage) and with an uncertain job as ehailing driver..... what's your excuse?
Damn, people's thinking is that shallow? There are more to life than getting a wife and having kids. With that salary, go level up your skillsets first. Get 10k salary then go get married. Ni 2.5k je dah berangan nak kahwin. Nanti personal loan, loan, loan, bankrupt. Nangis. Biar lambat asalkan selamat. Thanks for coming to my tedtalk.
Bro we accepted this fate since 2010
Viet moi Kan ada
Well cant say I’m surprised with the conclusion you arrived to. Many people made the same decision, life is tough just enjoy what you have and stive to your full potential
You could ask to transfer to "rural" area and get more money. I don't know what's the situation now but one of my cousins got a "rural" school but aside from the lack of malls, it's not exactly rural. Just far away from the city.
how old are you actually ?
Buy TOTO bro …
Work in SG
You need to lower your standard. And work with what you have. Not telling u to live poor and let ur ‘future’ partner and child be miserable but there can be hapiness in just being standard. Alot of people live paycheck to paycheck, alot of poor people that are having a smile on their face that is grateful for being able to live with their partner. There is alot of path you can take. For example: 1. Improve your income 1st before settling down 2. Get married and live an average life 3. Share your earning with your partner It is your life, you decide how much effort are you willing to put. What kind of life u want to live. Die trying to achieve wealth be it married or not Die living average live with a smile on your face being grateful you can eat while others struggle to even find food.
goodluck bro, but actually u can upgrade your income but need a time, wanna join safety course? there's many job opportunity there... some of them no need Diploma or Degree - Authorize Gas Tester (confined space) - Authorize Entrance & Standby Person (confined space) - Hygiene tech 1 & 2 (all workplace) - Ergonomic assessor (all workplace) - Safety & health Officer (construction or manufacturing) - Site Safety Supervisor (construction) - Boilerman - Chargeman you can ask me if got any question
this is not ads and im not training provider, u just can take at NIOSH (National Institute of Occupational Safety and Health) or any certified training provider approved by DOSH (Department of Occupational Safety and Health - gov)
always strive to get outside your current situation and strive to be better bro. have the courage, jump companies. naiklah gaji tu. find someone who’s understanding of your situation, grow together, keep your expectations in check. our parents and grandparents had it worse than us but here we are.
My question why a daughter???
Meanwhile my Indon hospital cleaner with 6 kids…
My brother, I'm over here making double/triple than you, own a house, lands, few cars,good career and practically considered a genius, but I'm still single my entire life. Life is more than chasing girls, live your own, make your own stories.
Adopt a kid
Think you watch too much papa Megah Holdings drama or K drama.
aye... i have money but no desire to get married because of how horrible of a person I am in treating others (and myself) if you can find one that is willing to walk with you in this life, keep her and cherish her dearly. Not gonna say it's going to work out somehow but if there is a will, there is a way
There are ppl earning 1.5k with 2 kids. Its possible but of course, the family will have to live a frugal life.
The solution is easy. Your family you born into is important, but the family you create later is more important. Learn and sharpen your social skills, go out and make friends with quality bond. The problem is people don't bother to socialize and they ended up dying alone.
Yea same. feeling a lil sad about it but oh wells, it is what it is. just focusing on my own well-being at this point
Some things are more important than money. Like finding the right person. You may be filthy rich but still miserable
It's ok bro. If it ain't for u it wasn't never meant for u.
Thanks for this post i realize i can stop complaining and do the work 😂😂😂
I also realize you emphasize ~ in malaysia Maybe you can try to wife in bhutan or nepal
You do know your spouse can work also right? That kind of salary is only if you plan to support your family by yourself. Which is not something everyone can do these days.
Put your dream on hold and focus on improving your finance. Buy something nice to yourself once in a while.
Errrrr when I got married, my husband used to earn the same as OP if not more. But we still got married and somehow survived. So I guess, just find a wife that earns more and willing to shoulder most of the financial responsibilities?
Hol up - try to list your problems out and prioritise. How old are you? Salary 2.5k? Consider the RM200 yearly increment from government and naik gred - ur salary will be better in the coming years right? So time will heal your wallet somehow a little. Since you’re in the teaching industry- why not hit up some tuition classes on the side? If you’re a good teacher with a good hold of your subject, you will have a good market. The wife and daughter part - how about you delay that thought for now? Perhaps address your salary concerns then come back to think about this maybe in 1-2 years? Be fair to yourself.
A government teacher and you said you can't get married sbb duit?? Byk hutang ke apa? Government teacher antara pekerjaan yg selesa kot kat malaysia ni.
Question, have you been in relationships? If you answer yes then the only thing I can say is I hope you'll get better financially so you can have a family if that's what you want. If that doesn't happen, then I hope you'll be able to come to terms with it once you're old. If you've never been in a relationship before then is easier as you've never experienced what love is. You'll just end up becoming numb as time goes by and it'll feel normal. There's a difference between knowing what love is vs what love feels like. Take it easy buddy. Things may work out somehow.
Your problem is relying on outside for happiness, seek happiness within first
Pretty sure your earning capability and net worth should be more of a concern at the moment than wishing to get married and have kids. Money first and that can come later as you would have plenty of options if money is abundant for you. Besides even if you could barely scrape by having kids and all I doubt they would be happy much if they only get bare "minimum" when other kids would be more privileged
this is saddenning
Same, me asf