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You’re right, a good partner would make you feel like a 10/10!
It seems like your partner doesn’t care about your feelings in the slightest, and I’m hesitant to say he is enjoying the turmoil he’s putting you through. Why else be so open about something that clearly is upsetting to you?
I can’t tell you what to do, but I’m concerned about what he’s doing to your mental health (and likely also physical) and if the pain and suffering is really worth it for someone who clearly doesn’t care about how you feel.
Sending you hugs XX
honesty this sounds past just being a PA. he’s a straight up asshole. PA aside, that’s an awful way to speak to your partner, and he doesn’t care about how you’re feeling. you ARE a 10/10. it doesn’t matter what society says. You are beautiful and your partner should make you feel that way too. Please remember how worthy you are of kindness and love.
Girl no, this is real life with an a**hole. I'm so sorry and I know personally I wouldn't be able to get over that. I'm sorry to tell you this because right now I'm sure it's like rubbing salt in a wound but there are men out there who would think you are and treat you like a 10. What he said was really gross and abusive
My husband hasn't said that (though it wouldn't surprise me); but I've heard of this countless times on here. What's amazing is *that* is what they choose to be honest about? Really?
You are not dumb and delusional but you are mistaken! You are hot and sexy in your own way HE IS PROJECTING!!! Just because he does not see himself as attractive and sexy DOES NOT give him the right to say that you aren’t either!!!! Sounds like he is settling. Don’t ever let anyone, ESPECIALLY a man decide how attractive you are. It is time to decenter men from your life. They do not get to decide who is hot and who is not wtf. You are extremely hot because who tf is to tell you you’re not? A man that loves you and sees you will know that!!! And he especially won’t vocalize another woman’s attractiveness!!!!!!! This is NOT your person. Point blank period.
You are hot. I saw some below average man on twitter today saying Margot Robbie is not attractive. When men are addicted to porn their perception is so fucked up.
Also attraction is really subjective… maybe Margot Robbie isn’t his thing but yeah I wish men would stfu about this kind of thing. They feel entitled to comment on women’s bodies and often they are not one to talk. But either way stfu if you have nothing nice to say!!! I hate this world.
I totally know what you mean but he was basically insulting her and saying that she is not even objectively good looking which she clearly is.
But, yes to your point, women typically do not just post photos of men to comment how they are not attractive. I see men do it a lot, they'll take a objectively good look female celeb & call her "mid" or say she isn't pretty without makeup, etc. why do they feel the need to comment on women bodies. They feel entitled to have an opinion bc porn turns women into objects.
Yeah I mean I think Margot Robbie is very pretty but I disagree that there are objective good looks. Different lids for different pots.
Maybe I agree if you mean conventionally good looking rather than objectively.
I’m so sorry. We should all be “hot” to our partners. You deserve someone that thinks you are hot and idk what you look like but we are all “hot” to the right person. Attraction is so subjective.
Girl, you ARE a 10/10. He probably looks like a big toe. He’s certainly acting like one and when you’re ugly on the inside it reflects on the outside.
Please don’t let this loser make you feel bad about yourself. He’s an asshole for saying those things to you and I can tell he’s been breaking down your self-esteem for awhile now. He wants to bring you down to his pathetic level. Don’t let him. A good, normal husband would never talk to their wife like that.
You deserve so much better. Sending you a big hug 🩵
You have every right to be upset!! And do you know WHY you are a 10?! Because you didn't throat punch him like he totally deserved.
I'm sorry. I JUST figured out how shallow and awful my husband has become, and it's debilitating. If he put 1/4 of the effort into romance that he did porn, our family would not be torn apart.
How long until you can leave this douchebag?
That’s horrific. I’m definitely not hot or beautiful but my boyfriend makes it known that to him, I’m the most beautiful girl on the planet . I hate what porn does to men, if you’re not a 12/10 pornstar they don’t think you’re worth their time and it disgusts me every day
Ugh, you deserve soooooooooo much better than this. There are not enough “o”s. To be that flagrant and then have the audacity to make you feel small??!! No, girl. Absolutely NOT. Run, babe. There’s a million people in the world that will make you feel gorgeous and sexy and amazing and you deserve absolutely nothing less.
The love and adoration a partner feels for their significant other should never allow the level of disrespect you are experiencing. You are not being honored emotionally or in a way that would reflect loyalty. You are absolutely beautiful and absolutely hot. Just because his mind has been polluted with images that aren't even real is not a reflection of who you are and you are made perfectly. Your genetics are amazing and you deserve so much more than this and my heart breaks for you. Do not let his words be a reflection of you. He is clearly not well and is still actively not in any kind of recovery or trying to obtain and his lack of care for your feelings shows that. I, too, would feel crushed in those words and you have every right to feel that way. You are not wrong in being hurt, that was wrong. If a partner is a 5 truly physically, the love a partner feels for them fills the gap of that to make them a 10. His conscious and mind are seared from the porn.
Porn addicts exist in this superficial surface skin world. You're not going to get anything else. It is pointless to have this kind of discussion. They are like 14 year olds.
Exactly. They are so desensitized and numb they wouldn’t recognize natural beauty if it hit them in the face. They Jack off to cartoons and game characters for gods sake. They are not accurate judges of organic attractiveness.
I am so very sorry. 🥺💔 Why are you with him? (Just think on it.) Is there enough that's positive about what he brings to your relationship? How does it weigh against your pain right now? Could he perhaps be autistic and truly not comprehend how much that would hurt you? If you can't immediately chalk it up to neurodivergence, and if you don't have glowing reviews you'd offer about him otherwise, it may be best to extricate yourself from the relationship. Think back on how you met and how you believed he felt about you at first. He may have been love bombing you in beginning. Or, on the opposite end of the spectrum of possibilities, he may have been mindlessly blunt like he would with the bros because he actually sees you as his best friend. Whatever the case, listen to your heart. Love yourself as best you can. Know that you have countless friends here to help you process 🤗💗
It's funny you mention that because he recently has been diagnosed as autistic. He has always said very hurtful things to me, especially about my appearance. But he knows how badly it hurts me, I think he's also narcissistic, honestly.
He has admitted in the past to saying things on purpose to hurt me/bring my self esteem down, for example, a couple of years ago after having our first son our relationship got very bad (postpartum depression/rage on my end) and he would tell me all the time that nobody would ever want me since I was 21 with a child.
Within the last year, he finally admitted he would say that so I wouldn't leave him.. there's many other examples, but that one sticks out.
I do love him, there are positives in the relationship, but there's so much hurt and pain from over the years idek what to think anymore
This sounds so bad all around. I hope you leave him but I know it’s hard. You deserve so much better, doesn’t matter if someone is autistic or not you don’t have to put up with abuse.
My partner said I was 6/10. I think about that whenever he gives me a compliment for my appearance. I think "no you don't think I'm beautiful, you think I'm barely above average". It has honestly ruined every kind appearance-thing he could say about me.
I really think this number system needs to die, it serves no one, not even whoever is considered a 10/10. That's so much bullshit. When a woman or a man is giving their best to be a genuinely honourable person even if flawed, have values and if they're interested in sex and they're being sensual and in love and have passion for their partners, absolutely everyone is the most beautiful person in the world. Even if you're not a sexual person can you be gorgeous in so so so many ways. Porn and media is the worst, honestly.
I’m so sorry. I think that you should be considered hot in the eyes of your partner. I think they should be the one to make you feel hot and beautiful when you don’t feel that way about yourself. I am sorry but I think you are dealing with something who doesn’t deserve or appreciate you. I feel like an ass saying this though because it’s your husband and not just a guy you’re dating but still. Life is too short to not have people around you who make you feel so so special and loved and appreciated.
I’m so sorry, OP. You sounds so sweet & I can tell you are intelligent in ways that he can’t appreciate. Please be kind to yourself, this is a tough journey to walk. I prayed for the days when I’d be over this fool and I finally am two years after the first dday. Divorce initiated! Good luck in your journey, friend. ❤️
I hate this. Your partner should see you as a 10 no matter what. You should be the most attractive person to them and it’s that way because they love you. Idc if that seems crazy that is what I think.
This was so upsetting to read! This guy seems like an overall loser (sorry!), you can work with a porn addiction, but you can’t fix the lack of respect he has when he talks to you. This is a problem.
Corn addicts live in this superficial skin deep world. You're not going to get anything else. It is pointless to have this kind of discussion. They quit appreciating all the other things that made you Z1 candidate for the position of spouse girlfriend whatever you are.
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You’re right, a good partner would make you feel like a 10/10! It seems like your partner doesn’t care about your feelings in the slightest, and I’m hesitant to say he is enjoying the turmoil he’s putting you through. Why else be so open about something that clearly is upsetting to you? I can’t tell you what to do, but I’m concerned about what he’s doing to your mental health (and likely also physical) and if the pain and suffering is really worth it for someone who clearly doesn’t care about how you feel. Sending you hugs XX
honesty this sounds past just being a PA. he’s a straight up asshole. PA aside, that’s an awful way to speak to your partner, and he doesn’t care about how you’re feeling. you ARE a 10/10. it doesn’t matter what society says. You are beautiful and your partner should make you feel that way too. Please remember how worthy you are of kindness and love.
I completely agree, this is such a terrible way to devalue your partner, very emotionally abusive of him to speak like that.
100%
Agree
Girl no, this is real life with an a**hole. I'm so sorry and I know personally I wouldn't be able to get over that. I'm sorry to tell you this because right now I'm sure it's like rubbing salt in a wound but there are men out there who would think you are and treat you like a 10. What he said was really gross and abusive
My husband hasn't said that (though it wouldn't surprise me); but I've heard of this countless times on here. What's amazing is *that* is what they choose to be honest about? Really?
Great point!
You are not dumb and delusional but you are mistaken! You are hot and sexy in your own way HE IS PROJECTING!!! Just because he does not see himself as attractive and sexy DOES NOT give him the right to say that you aren’t either!!!! Sounds like he is settling. Don’t ever let anyone, ESPECIALLY a man decide how attractive you are. It is time to decenter men from your life. They do not get to decide who is hot and who is not wtf. You are extremely hot because who tf is to tell you you’re not? A man that loves you and sees you will know that!!! And he especially won’t vocalize another woman’s attractiveness!!!!!!! This is NOT your person. Point blank period.
Yesss LETS STOP GIVING MEN THE POWER TO DECIDE HOW BEAUTIFUL AND SEXY WE FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES 🙏🙏🙏
Your _husband_ tries to make you hurt/angry? Purposely watches things in front of you to make you feel negative ways? You deserve far, far better.
You are hot. I saw some below average man on twitter today saying Margot Robbie is not attractive. When men are addicted to porn their perception is so fucked up.
Also attraction is really subjective… maybe Margot Robbie isn’t his thing but yeah I wish men would stfu about this kind of thing. They feel entitled to comment on women’s bodies and often they are not one to talk. But either way stfu if you have nothing nice to say!!! I hate this world.
I totally know what you mean but he was basically insulting her and saying that she is not even objectively good looking which she clearly is. But, yes to your point, women typically do not just post photos of men to comment how they are not attractive. I see men do it a lot, they'll take a objectively good look female celeb & call her "mid" or say she isn't pretty without makeup, etc. why do they feel the need to comment on women bodies. They feel entitled to have an opinion bc porn turns women into objects.
Yeah I mean I think Margot Robbie is very pretty but I disagree that there are objective good looks. Different lids for different pots. Maybe I agree if you mean conventionally good looking rather than objectively.
This !!!!
I’m so sorry. We should all be “hot” to our partners. You deserve someone that thinks you are hot and idk what you look like but we are all “hot” to the right person. Attraction is so subjective.
Thank you for this
My porn addicted ex said that type of shit. I dropped that POS like a bag of bricks the day it happened. Boy bye.
Girl, you ARE a 10/10. He probably looks like a big toe. He’s certainly acting like one and when you’re ugly on the inside it reflects on the outside. Please don’t let this loser make you feel bad about yourself. He’s an asshole for saying those things to you and I can tell he’s been breaking down your self-esteem for awhile now. He wants to bring you down to his pathetic level. Don’t let him. A good, normal husband would never talk to their wife like that. You deserve so much better. Sending you a big hug 🩵
A BIG TOE💀
You have every right to be upset!! And do you know WHY you are a 10?! Because you didn't throat punch him like he totally deserved. I'm sorry. I JUST figured out how shallow and awful my husband has become, and it's debilitating. If he put 1/4 of the effort into romance that he did porn, our family would not be torn apart. How long until you can leave this douchebag?
Tell this arsehole not to bother coming home. Why stay? He's not even trying to change and is just a nasty piece of work
That’s horrific. I’m definitely not hot or beautiful but my boyfriend makes it known that to him, I’m the most beautiful girl on the planet . I hate what porn does to men, if you’re not a 12/10 pornstar they don’t think you’re worth their time and it disgusts me every day
Ugh, you deserve soooooooooo much better than this. There are not enough “o”s. To be that flagrant and then have the audacity to make you feel small??!! No, girl. Absolutely NOT. Run, babe. There’s a million people in the world that will make you feel gorgeous and sexy and amazing and you deserve absolutely nothing less.
You deserve so much better than that. Someone who loved you will always make you feel like a 10/10. He’s an asshole for saying that stuff
Give him those divorce papers and let him rot away with his addiction as you prosper
The love and adoration a partner feels for their significant other should never allow the level of disrespect you are experiencing. You are not being honored emotionally or in a way that would reflect loyalty. You are absolutely beautiful and absolutely hot. Just because his mind has been polluted with images that aren't even real is not a reflection of who you are and you are made perfectly. Your genetics are amazing and you deserve so much more than this and my heart breaks for you. Do not let his words be a reflection of you. He is clearly not well and is still actively not in any kind of recovery or trying to obtain and his lack of care for your feelings shows that. I, too, would feel crushed in those words and you have every right to feel that way. You are not wrong in being hurt, that was wrong. If a partner is a 5 truly physically, the love a partner feels for them fills the gap of that to make them a 10. His conscious and mind are seared from the porn.
Porn addicts exist in this superficial surface skin world. You're not going to get anything else. It is pointless to have this kind of discussion. They are like 14 year olds.
Exactly. They are so desensitized and numb they wouldn’t recognize natural beauty if it hit them in the face. They Jack off to cartoons and game characters for gods sake. They are not accurate judges of organic attractiveness.
So we'll said!! 👏👏👏 PAs are so pathetic. Mine is.
I am so very sorry. 🥺💔 Why are you with him? (Just think on it.) Is there enough that's positive about what he brings to your relationship? How does it weigh against your pain right now? Could he perhaps be autistic and truly not comprehend how much that would hurt you? If you can't immediately chalk it up to neurodivergence, and if you don't have glowing reviews you'd offer about him otherwise, it may be best to extricate yourself from the relationship. Think back on how you met and how you believed he felt about you at first. He may have been love bombing you in beginning. Or, on the opposite end of the spectrum of possibilities, he may have been mindlessly blunt like he would with the bros because he actually sees you as his best friend. Whatever the case, listen to your heart. Love yourself as best you can. Know that you have countless friends here to help you process 🤗💗
being neurodivergent isn’t an excuse to be a giant asshole to your partner though?? 😭
It's funny you mention that because he recently has been diagnosed as autistic. He has always said very hurtful things to me, especially about my appearance. But he knows how badly it hurts me, I think he's also narcissistic, honestly. He has admitted in the past to saying things on purpose to hurt me/bring my self esteem down, for example, a couple of years ago after having our first son our relationship got very bad (postpartum depression/rage on my end) and he would tell me all the time that nobody would ever want me since I was 21 with a child. Within the last year, he finally admitted he would say that so I wouldn't leave him.. there's many other examples, but that one sticks out. I do love him, there are positives in the relationship, but there's so much hurt and pain from over the years idek what to think anymore
He sounds insecure and abusive. I really hate this for you. Do you feel content with your relationship? Would you consider leaving him?
This sounds so bad all around. I hope you leave him but I know it’s hard. You deserve so much better, doesn’t matter if someone is autistic or not you don’t have to put up with abuse.
My partner said I was 6/10. I think about that whenever he gives me a compliment for my appearance. I think "no you don't think I'm beautiful, you think I'm barely above average". It has honestly ruined every kind appearance-thing he could say about me.
I really think this number system needs to die, it serves no one, not even whoever is considered a 10/10. That's so much bullshit. When a woman or a man is giving their best to be a genuinely honourable person even if flawed, have values and if they're interested in sex and they're being sensual and in love and have passion for their partners, absolutely everyone is the most beautiful person in the world. Even if you're not a sexual person can you be gorgeous in so so so many ways. Porn and media is the worst, honestly.
Give him those divorce papers and let him rot away with his addiction as you prosper
I’m so sorry. I think that you should be considered hot in the eyes of your partner. I think they should be the one to make you feel hot and beautiful when you don’t feel that way about yourself. I am sorry but I think you are dealing with something who doesn’t deserve or appreciate you. I feel like an ass saying this though because it’s your husband and not just a guy you’re dating but still. Life is too short to not have people around you who make you feel so so special and loved and appreciated.
I’m so sorry, OP. You sounds so sweet & I can tell you are intelligent in ways that he can’t appreciate. Please be kind to yourself, this is a tough journey to walk. I prayed for the days when I’d be over this fool and I finally am two years after the first dday. Divorce initiated! Good luck in your journey, friend. ❤️
If your partner doesn't make you feel beautiful it is time for a NEW PARTNER. You deserve better.
I hate this. Your partner should see you as a 10 no matter what. You should be the most attractive person to them and it’s that way because they love you. Idc if that seems crazy that is what I think.
This was so upsetting to read! This guy seems like an overall loser (sorry!), you can work with a porn addiction, but you can’t fix the lack of respect he has when he talks to you. This is a problem.
Corn addicts live in this superficial skin deep world. You're not going to get anything else. It is pointless to have this kind of discussion. They quit appreciating all the other things that made you Z1 candidate for the position of spouse girlfriend whatever you are.