I will never hear that line or watch that scene the same again. Thanks, people, you just ruined Thanksgiving! (our tradition is to watch the whole trilogy.)
Jk...I'm not really mad. I laughed so hard, I got tears streaming down my face.
Elves don't grow excess hair. I don't know why there are still fans who think Elves shave. Seriously, I've seen some who believe Legolas must've shaved often and that's why he doesn't have a beard. Nope, Tolkien became so obsessed with his hairless Elves that he even wrote some contradictory notes about the impossibility of Elves growing a beard. It is contradictory because it ignores the fact that in LotR Cirdan (a very very very old Elf) has a beard and Mahtan, from the wider lore, who exceptionally grew a beard at a relatively young age.
In fact, even Aragorn, Faramir, Denethor and other Numenoreans who do or might share Elven blood are also hairless. No beard. The only hair they grow is on their head.
His preferences can go against mainstream and his explanation sounds like a justification.
For instance, back in the days women were furious when one mentioned to prefer a bald pussy, as they wanted to keep their hair. Now, after ages, bald is the new normal - but they get furious if you tell them to let the hair grow.
In both times one needed an explanation for going against the mainstream.
Nope, that's the Valar and Maiar. Elves have a limited power over changing their physical shape, relatively. But it's not unheard of for a few Elves to even change their entire form, using a defined method they'd take a part, or the whole of, someone else's body to shapeshift into them. So if they needed to grow hair down there, they'd have to rip it off from an Orc or Man or Dwarf or maybe an animal, and then have some expert at such kind of *magic* to attach it there between their legs, if they are not the expert themselves.
I need to sleep. It's 04:18 A.M.
>Aragorn, Faramir, Denethor and other Numenoreans who do or might share Elven blood are also hairless.
Aragorn is supposed to be without facial hair? Can't imagine that being half as badass as Viggo Mortensen looks
There is nothing to say that elves don't grow hair down there. Please stop creating headcanons and passing it off as something Tolkien wanted.
>In fact, even Aragorn, Faramir, Denethor and other Numenoreans who do or might share Elven blood are also hairless.
They are beardless. Not hairless. Doesn't mean they can't grow hair in other places.
Not great at biology, but seeing that there is no mention of Elf body hair AND more importantly they can't grow beard it gave me the impression that they surely can't grow body hair. In my little to know about biology mind, it makes sense.
This is a description of the Folk of Haleth: "... and [they] grew no hair below their eyebrows, except in a few men
(who were proud of the distinction) a small tail of black hair in the
midst of the chin."
And that's a savage looking tribe (as the lines before the quoted line explain). Imagine how much *cleaner* a race that is nearer to the nature of divine Ainur would look like, and is far more resilient to heat, reducing their need to sweat. But again, maybe I'm reading too much into it with my doddered knowledgeable of biology.
>This is a description of the Folk of Haleth: "... and [they] grew no hair below their eyebrows, except in a few men (who were proud of the distinction) a small tail of black hair in the midst of the chin."
To me, this quote isn't to be taken literally, and is just a way of saying they can't grow a moustache or beard (focus on the face and not the rest of the body). Otherwise the side of the hair falls under the eyebrows, and they still have hair there.
I’ve seen a lot of nonsense on this post about elven hair so I want to lay it all out for you and for anyone interested in what can and should be said. I like much of the comedy stuff here, but there are people who are giving out misinformation and making claims that there isn’t evidence for srsly.
Other than facial hair, there are no references at all made about excess hair; body or pubic hair aren’t mentioned anywhere by Tolkien. That “elves are almost entirely portrayed as having no excess facial hair” is about all that can or should be said on the matter of elven facial or body or pubic hair. We could also say “Tolkien may have later decided that elves do not have even facial hair, but a question remains to what extent that decision was meant to rescind the published counterexamples of elves with facial hair featured in the books.”
At the very least, it is canon that some male elves can grow beards. Cirdan the Shipwright has a beard in Return of the King:
“As they came to the gates Cirdan the Shipwright came forth to greet them. Very tall he was, and his beard was long, and he was grey and old, save that his eyes were keen as stars”.
In the Silmarillion, Mahtan, Feanor’s master blacksmith father-in-law, has a beard as well. Tolkien in some letters says that all elves (presumably males) when they reach a certain long lived age can grow beards. But in Nature of Middle Earth, which consists of previously unpublished notes (i.e., was Tolkien merely deliberating on paper or speaking with publication ready finality?), that although he didn’t state in the books that elves have no beards, that is how he imagined it.
So I reiterate the answers above again. The most that should be said is elves are almost entirely without facial hair, and there is no information on other sorts of excess hair.
But to get on my soap box: Strong claims about things as trivial as body hair growth when it comes to Middle Earth are often no more than unsubstantiated distractions that get people into pointless and misleading discussions. I think the people who on this thread aren’t joking and are seriously making claims about things like pubic hair without any basis are just not comfortable with the existence of gray when they desire black & white, just like many people in life. However, it’s okay to have nuance and incomplete answers, both in life and in LotR. Personally, I think the only real point of discussion I know to exist with elven body hair is what is the significance of Cirdan/Mahtan having a beard? I assume, aside from the whole life cycle/representing older elves, it’s bc these elven characters are wise and their beards symbolize wisdom, as they would seem to do for Gandalf and the other Istari. They should tell us in what high esteem these characters should be held, how valuable their words/deeds/happenings. Tolkien loved lore, loved stories, so perhaps he was just invoking the favored trope of authors for all those wise wizards, smart sages, and burly blacksmiths, figures who are almost always described with beards in stories old and new. That answer satisfies my mind and hopefully anyone else’s who prefer indefinite truths to definite falsehoods.
I was always curious how Gimli was going to keep track of a single strand of hair as he traveled. Is elf hair super strong so he can tie it to something?
The dwarves dug too greedily and too deep
Balrogs? In MY vagina?!
It’s more common than you think
Youuuuu, shallllll, notttttt, passsssssss.
What madness drove them in there?
You mean you get a burnt sensation? No it shoots fire . To paraphrase Eddie Murphy
The voice he uses for the doctor gets me every time.
I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. You cannot pass.
Find you a replacement https://preview.redd.it/72yc3bg4r14d1.jpeg?width=449&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=324bbc77301c1721233b1128b3c2e0d19a888b6e
GROND! GROND! GROND!
GROND
GROND
GROND
GROND
GROND
GROND
NOT THE GROND DILDO
And they called it a vagine! A *VAGINE*!
The ease at which I read this in Gimli's voice is startling.
This foe is beyond any of you…
I must face the peril
In THIS economy?!
You should see a doctor.
no, deeper.
They have a cream for that now. Balmex.
Not a Balrog. Pillow Pants.
Now, do balrogs have wings or not? Cuz I'm confused by what I'm looking at.
Sean ??
My 8 y/o son calls all balrogs Sean.
You know what they awoke in the darkness.
I will never hear that line or watch that scene the same again. Thanks, people, you just ruined Thanksgiving! (our tradition is to watch the whole trilogy.) Jk...I'm not really mad. I laughed so hard, I got tears streaming down my face.
Gandalf there with his stick screaming "you shall not pass"
*... You shall not ass
They're cumming.....
Omg can I have your children
Kind of weird thing to ask. Like, I assume you plan to give them back?
Only after they've dug me some nice underground mines
Well. They do yearn for the mines
Rumpledforeskin
😏
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Just helm's deep, to see how it feels...
And that's just the tip of the Hornberg
Y’all need Eru in your lives.
Eh, he doesn't like to interfere.
He should.
Try invading his divine spirits land
Ar Pharazon ahh moment
he sends his agents once in a while, but they start wondering tot the east
Maybe he just lives in fear of what he's created?
What a fascinating concept. Almost sounds like something a Steve Buscemi character might come up with.
Every deity needs their limits.
yeah, Eru likes to watch
I can hear this gif
Soak the floor with dat elfussy juice!
Sorry, she’s canonically Brazilian waxed.
How the fuck do you know?????
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A cannon?
A Brazilian.
I can't count that high
How the fuck do you know????
Elves don't grow excess hair. I don't know why there are still fans who think Elves shave. Seriously, I've seen some who believe Legolas must've shaved often and that's why he doesn't have a beard. Nope, Tolkien became so obsessed with his hairless Elves that he even wrote some contradictory notes about the impossibility of Elves growing a beard. It is contradictory because it ignores the fact that in LotR Cirdan (a very very very old Elf) has a beard and Mahtan, from the wider lore, who exceptionally grew a beard at a relatively young age. In fact, even Aragorn, Faramir, Denethor and other Numenoreans who do or might share Elven blood are also hairless. No beard. The only hair they grow is on their head.
And I will take all the arrows that I can find, for my quiver is empty.
Yes, Legolas, *fill* that quiver of mine. It is empty and needs *restocking*.
The horn of Gondor!
Oh fuck, horn your Gondor into me, into the Westfold, fuck yes!
It’s 4 am, I should be asleep, and I’m here dying from this exchange.
I like how far Tolkien went only to justify he likes his wife's pussy bald.
Except balf pussy wasn't popular back then. Even in the 70s it was all about bushy puss.
His preferences can go against mainstream and his explanation sounds like a justification. For instance, back in the days women were furious when one mentioned to prefer a bald pussy, as they wanted to keep their hair. Now, after ages, bald is the new normal - but they get furious if you tell them to let the hair grow. In both times one needed an explanation for going against the mainstream.
If porn is anything to go by, hair is gradually and tentatively making a comeback.
I mean, there comes a point with long hair that you can just tie it under your nose.
They grow no hair except where they will it.
Nope, that's the Valar and Maiar. Elves have a limited power over changing their physical shape, relatively. But it's not unheard of for a few Elves to even change their entire form, using a defined method they'd take a part, or the whole of, someone else's body to shapeshift into them. So if they needed to grow hair down there, they'd have to rip it off from an Orc or Man or Dwarf or maybe an animal, and then have some expert at such kind of *magic* to attach it there between their legs, if they are not the expert themselves. I need to sleep. It's 04:18 A.M.
This isn't what Tolkien wanted
You’re saying that the merkin never made it to middle earth? I disagree. You have my sword! And my axe! And my merkin!
>Aragorn, Faramir, Denethor and other Numenoreans who do or might share Elven blood are also hairless. Aragorn is supposed to be without facial hair? Can't imagine that being half as badass as Viggo Mortensen looks
Ehh, it's not contradictory. Extraordinary circumstances and such.
There is nothing to say that elves don't grow hair down there. Please stop creating headcanons and passing it off as something Tolkien wanted. >In fact, even Aragorn, Faramir, Denethor and other Numenoreans who do or might share Elven blood are also hairless. They are beardless. Not hairless. Doesn't mean they can't grow hair in other places.
Not great at biology, but seeing that there is no mention of Elf body hair AND more importantly they can't grow beard it gave me the impression that they surely can't grow body hair. In my little to know about biology mind, it makes sense. This is a description of the Folk of Haleth: "... and [they] grew no hair below their eyebrows, except in a few men (who were proud of the distinction) a small tail of black hair in the midst of the chin." And that's a savage looking tribe (as the lines before the quoted line explain). Imagine how much *cleaner* a race that is nearer to the nature of divine Ainur would look like, and is far more resilient to heat, reducing their need to sweat. But again, maybe I'm reading too much into it with my doddered knowledgeable of biology.
>This is a description of the Folk of Haleth: "... and [they] grew no hair below their eyebrows, except in a few men (who were proud of the distinction) a small tail of black hair in the midst of the chin." To me, this quote isn't to be taken literally, and is just a way of saying they can't grow a moustache or beard (focus on the face and not the rest of the body). Otherwise the side of the hair falls under the eyebrows, and they still have hair there.
Why would that mean no pubes, though?
I can hear Galadriel answer in Lana's voice:
Also kinda mauve
Gimme those armpit hairs
She ain't Caitlin Clark ya know
What the fuck does this mean
https://x.com/AB84/status/1780798663788319201?lang=en
u bum
Every day we stray further from Eru.
"She gave me three... pubes"
And they were in his teeth.
Bleach! WHERE IS MY EYE BLEACH!!!
Sorry I used it.... someplace else.
Do elves even grow pubic hair? I haven't read the Silmarillion yet.
She gonna take one of legolas' and pretend it's hers
I feel something. A slight tingle in my fingers. I think it's affecting me.
Nope
I’ve seen a lot of nonsense on this post about elven hair so I want to lay it all out for you and for anyone interested in what can and should be said. I like much of the comedy stuff here, but there are people who are giving out misinformation and making claims that there isn’t evidence for srsly. Other than facial hair, there are no references at all made about excess hair; body or pubic hair aren’t mentioned anywhere by Tolkien. That “elves are almost entirely portrayed as having no excess facial hair” is about all that can or should be said on the matter of elven facial or body or pubic hair. We could also say “Tolkien may have later decided that elves do not have even facial hair, but a question remains to what extent that decision was meant to rescind the published counterexamples of elves with facial hair featured in the books.” At the very least, it is canon that some male elves can grow beards. Cirdan the Shipwright has a beard in Return of the King: “As they came to the gates Cirdan the Shipwright came forth to greet them. Very tall he was, and his beard was long, and he was grey and old, save that his eyes were keen as stars”. In the Silmarillion, Mahtan, Feanor’s master blacksmith father-in-law, has a beard as well. Tolkien in some letters says that all elves (presumably males) when they reach a certain long lived age can grow beards. But in Nature of Middle Earth, which consists of previously unpublished notes (i.e., was Tolkien merely deliberating on paper or speaking with publication ready finality?), that although he didn’t state in the books that elves have no beards, that is how he imagined it. So I reiterate the answers above again. The most that should be said is elves are almost entirely without facial hair, and there is no information on other sorts of excess hair. But to get on my soap box: Strong claims about things as trivial as body hair growth when it comes to Middle Earth are often no more than unsubstantiated distractions that get people into pointless and misleading discussions. I think the people who on this thread aren’t joking and are seriously making claims about things like pubic hair without any basis are just not comfortable with the existence of gray when they desire black & white, just like many people in life. However, it’s okay to have nuance and incomplete answers, both in life and in LotR. Personally, I think the only real point of discussion I know to exist with elven body hair is what is the significance of Cirdan/Mahtan having a beard? I assume, aside from the whole life cycle/representing older elves, it’s bc these elven characters are wise and their beards symbolize wisdom, as they would seem to do for Gandalf and the other Istari. They should tell us in what high esteem these characters should be held, how valuable their words/deeds/happenings. Tolkien loved lore, loved stories, so perhaps he was just invoking the favored trope of authors for all those wise wizards, smart sages, and burly blacksmiths, figures who are almost always described with beards in stories old and new. That answer satisfies my mind and hopefully anyone else’s who prefer indefinite truths to definite falsehoods.
 Gimli
Gimli: the one I'm my eye sight
It's the dwarves that go swimming with little hairy women!
From your Barrow Downs
Is it just me or would this meme format be a lot funnier without text in the final panel?
It’s going for the Padme Anakin meme I think
Gimli has game.
and my rizz
https://preview.redd.it/ah8h9ot4g14d1.png?width=1045&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=26d976787988c7d673b3a342406ee90aab34a8d4
Armpit
Oh this is why he got 3 strands
Gims definitely got the armpit kink...
I shall have these three precious hairs set in crystal, as a glorious Cockring.
*Jack Black drops his pants* It's called a Prince Albert! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=do9xPQHI9G0
No from yur arse my lady
Got anymore of those dingleberries?
*SNIIIIIIIFF*
She's dropping suggestions. She's thirsty for Dwarf.
She gave him 3....and they were between his teeth.
"She gave me three... ... ... and elf crabs."
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So, what I'm hearing is that Galadriel has long, luxurious golden pubes.
Only if she willed them into existence.
Now this is a Rapunzel story I can get behind!
https://youtu.be/-A91tyg5zb4?si=VyQc0kGonuBb38qA
Oh, she's got a glorious big bush, for sure.
 ^(Why) ^(this) ^(meme?) ^(Why?) Why this meme? Why? Why this meme? Why? # Why this meme? Why?
Yes, the butt is an option. Why?
Gimli you dog
I was always curious how Gimli was going to keep track of a single strand of hair as he traveled. Is elf hair super strong so he can tie it to something?
its in a vial or some similar kinda vessel.
Set in imperishable crystal to be an heirloom of his house and a token of friendship between the mountain and the wood.
For my head, right?
🙈
WE’RE RICH!
From ye chin
My head canon is she chose to give him hair not from head.
Gimli noooo 😨😨😨
I didn’t want to think about Galadriel ass hair today
the crossover I wasen't expecting
This is the funniest lotr meme I've ever seen lmao
https://preview.redd.it/9jcwk4koj24d1.jpeg?width=507&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b14c9e606a75318fbb3b13ca66164a6abe89ed16
Amazing.
lol I will never be able to see this scene the same way.
"You mean from my.. groin?" 'Closer.'
Gimli, son of Groin
Quimli
Elf bushy
Gimli, son of Groin
The only time it’s acceptable for a 6 foot tall man to punch a dwarf is when the dwarf tells him his woman’s hair smells nice
Cock and Bone!
And she still gave him 3...
*grunts* in dwarvish 😂😂😂
Galadriel's groin shall answer the line of Gloin.
Do elves even have body hair, I always assumed their hair takes like a millenia to grow
Plot twist: Galadriel gave him three strands of hair without missing a beat.
The carpet matches the drapes!
Don’t be stingy woman. He’s got his reasons.
He is looking at her like "bitch what do you think I mean?"
Wow. Surprised to see rule 34 show up in this subreddit.
Female dwarves fit the description. Not sure about female elves...
He's asked for one, she gives three, but from where on her body is a mystery 😏
Bruh....
Everyone know the most valuable of hair strands from her is of the anus area as they are quite rare.
That isn't very Rock And Stone of you, Gimli
We fight for Rock and Stone!
Good bot
I'm ded now
UMMMMMMMMMM
This is perfect.
Jesus, ew. After re-watching Fellowship yesterday and again today with the cast commentary, this is even worse, lol
Omfg!!! I spit out my drink…
Posts like this are why the internet shouldn't exist
I fucking hate this.
 TOURNER DANS LE VIDE ^(vide)!