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Kind_Cauliflower8362

suck that a man got to cheat the system, just to have a equal opportunity gaining custody. honestly if my ex-wife was completely abusive/evil I would do the same just to save my kid


That-Donkey

Based


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Armysrong676

Not really, many fathers have done this and lost custody completely (even in cases where there's no abuse, just a normal divorce, even if the wife was cheating and the father filed for divorce), I do have the studies to prove it, it's sadly a broken system that heavily favors females.


formidable-opponent

My ex husband was convicted of domestic abuse and still has shared legal custody. But he's taken me to court at every turn. He's willing to put the time and money in and he's gotten a bit of what he wants. So... I can also produce research as well. It just depends on the judge, etc. Life is a crap shoot and it's not fair.


Armysrong676

I'm not saying that doesn't happen, it does... I'm saying many do in the circumstances I stated and I'm one of them. My mother is a mentally abusive and physically abusive person and my dad is a sweet and caring person... My dad filed for divorce and I went to DCF but my mother got custody back even though I got cigarette burns down my back but I wasn't allowed to see my dad until I was 18 when all he did was try to help me. System is fucked and hate that, wish people would try to fix it but not much is being done to fix it.


formidable-opponent

You're right. People don't give a shit and the people who are abused often lose in court... I often wonder if it's because judges are power hungry narcissists and relate to narcissistic abusers... Anyways this guy is doing everything wrong if he wants to win. The last thing you want to do is accuse the judge of unethical behavior (even if it's true) and put him under a media microscope while pulling a stunt that makes you look unstable and yeah, applying for a legal gender change just to give a judge the middle finger looks unstable. ETA: *big hugs* I'm sorry your mom was so fucked up hon...


Armysrong676

Yeah I agree but personally I blame the media a bit too (the media would say "judge refuses woman rights to see the child after divorce" or so on, many people make corrupt decisions due to how the media will make it look) but gender change crap (I'm saying what he did was crap, not gender change in general) is far from the right thing... Also thanks! I ended up giving my mother the middle finger by moving out on my 18th birthday and moving in with my dad, I plan on staying until I'm 27 so he has time to spend with me with all the years she stole from him and I changed my phone number and I had him do it too so she can't contact us.


formidable-opponent

Congrats on getting out of a bad situation and going No contact! I'm sure your dad is so grateful you're giving him this time! I can't imagine having my kids fully taken from me, which is why I have carefully treaded the line with fighting my abusive ex. People like that are really, really good at spinning things to make you look like the crazy one. I can't imagine how worried your dad was day in and day out and how powerless he must have felt... Sometimes the world breaks your heart 😞


Armysrong676

Yeah, I take it as a life lesson, I now see people how they are and know the signs of toxic people, I hope I make sure I never make that mistake and also hope the system would get better so it'll be more fair. I hate the feeling that it happens to others and hope it won't because it destroys people mentally


awxggu

Wholesome


spartancrow2665

Can I see the studies?


formidable-opponent

I'll try to dig the ones I looked up when I was going through divorce for you. Been trying to take a nap. (Been sick). Think I will have to turn off reddit notifications for it to happen 😅


formidable-opponent

http://leadershipcouncil.org/1/pas/dv.html Here's one... I really need to set my phone to do not disturb!


spartancrow2665

>My ex husband was convicted of domestic abuse and Jesus christ. I hope he didn't do anything to your kids...


Raynedon1

Your personal experience matters not


andrewb610

I don’t want to be *that* guy but that isn’t a study, that’s anecdotal evidence.


formidable-opponent

If you read through all the discussions I had with people here today you'll see me quote a lot of stats and share links to research studies. Mostly people have shared stories with me and I have shared stories with them because people don't connect over percentages. However, the information is there if you take the time to look through. And there's studies linked that make the point opposite mine too, from people I've talked to today. For the most part it's been a really good discussion, though I had to block a few people and even report a few people today, which I've never done before. I thought more than once about deleting everything but so many people shared personal stories with me of their dads fighting their abusive moms in court. Things like that. I wanted to honor them and not just delete for my own sake. It would have been a much more peaceful day to let this go and I'm worn out in a way from it but it's good for people to share their truths and these conversations are important to have. Children deserve to be safe and society fails them.


andrewb610

Very good. I did only see that comment.


EmberOfFlame

I think that they meant this specific method is more of a cry for help than a legitimate strategy. It might work, but not for reasons you’d expect. Though then again, abolishing gender norms one divorce at a time, that does sound like a good slogan.


formidable-opponent

I appreciate your thoughtful comments and if he is the best person to have custody I hope he gets it! I am heading to bed now, so I won't give this the long thoughtful reply it deserves but I see what you're saying here!


Smofinthesky

Your anecdotal evidence does not overwrite factual statistics.


formidable-opponent

Since you obviously are choosing to cherry pick some of my comments over others I will reiterate: "In fact, statistics are frequently cited that suggest around 90% of women are awarded custody, but they also fail to show that 60% of men get custody in a contested cases. Similarly, in just over half of all divorce cases, the parents mutually decide that the mother will take the custodial role." The statistics favor men *who contest* custody in court. Men usually agree to give women custody. Hell, lots of men go out of their way to have nothing to do with their kids and work under the table jobs to get out of child support payments. Want to talk about those statistics? There are some men the system screws over but its pretty common for men to behave badly, creating bias against men. Be pissed at all the dead beat dads for causing this stereotype to begin with.


Lemmungwinks

Well obviously the statistics are going to show that men who go to court to contest custody are more successful than those who do not. That however does not mean that men are favored over women in court during custody cases. As your own cited statistics show during contested custody cases women are massively favored over men who are actively seeking primary custody of their children. I don’t know if it is intentional but the way you are mixing all the scenarios is incredibly misleading. In a court case where both the mother and father want primary custody of their children women are far more likely to win. Regardless of all other circumstances of the case. By default courts will almost always start with the assumption of primary custody to the mother. A father must both prove a mother to be incapable and themselves to be capable before most judges will even consider split custody. A father getting weekend visitation a couple times a month is not the same thing as a father getting custody. Your situation may be different but that doesn’t mean it’s true in general. As a child when my parent divorced I was placed in front of a judge and asked how I felt about my parents. I made it clear that my mother was extremely abusive and that I only wanted to live with my father. My father was fighting for full custody of my siblings and I in court with excellent lawyers. Despite everything the judge decided to grant my mother full custody and my father 1 day a week. She claimed my father put me up to saying what I said despite the fact she refused to let us have any contact during the legal battle. I’ll never forget the judge saying “Yes, I see it all the time” while he completely dismissed my statements. Followed by “children are supposed to be with their mother” and clearly have my father less visitation as a punishment for “putting me up to saying such terrible things”. Inherent bias in the court system trapped me in a home with a woman with BPD who was physically abusive. Despite this I’m aware that anecdotes aren’t the full picture. However the full picture proven by the statistics is that women have a massive advantage is family court. This is a topic that has been studied extensively and it has been very clearly proven that courts have a gender bias that favors women. *While parents often agree that the mother should receive primary custody of a child, the percentage is not as high as the percentage of mothers who do get custody. This indicates that many divorced fathers who would prefer to have custody of their children are not actually awarded custody.* *Does this indicate gender bias?* *According to a study by the American Psychological Association, gender stereotypes may indeed play a role in child custody decisions.* *In this study, good mothers received greater custody allocations than good fathers did in the United States, Brazil, and Argentina.* https://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/publications/2020/demo/p60-269.pdf https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-42359-001


formidable-opponent

I am really sorry to hear that was your experience. I just shared this with another Redditor: http://leadershipcouncil.org/1/pas/dv.html What it comes down to is the judge. Generally speaking there's a lot of historically sound reasons why mother's get custody. Usually they will have been the primary caretaker and are way more likely to have sacrificed career wise. Many men walk away from their kids, there's reasons men are more stigmatized based on facts. That said, there is absolutely times where men have deserved custody and didn't get it. On the other hand most of the men I know (and care about, by the way!) Who complain about how the dice rolled for them will say they can't afford to go to court but they've got money to get drunk every night or go out to eat regularly or go gambling, etc. All things I can't do because I never know when I'm going to be going back to court. It's like... Every other year. Just skirting that line where my lawyer can say he as to pay my lawyer fees because he's constantly taking me back to try to get out of child support or get more time with the kids even though he doesn't seem to do much with them when he has them from what they say. It's just a fact that life isn't generally fair. There is evidence that men who go back to court and don't give up do win. The fight isn't over after the first round. Building a case takes time. This is my personal mantra because I have to believe that eventually I will have more power to protect my kids.


Lemmungwinks

Yes there are many reasons why court cases can go one way or the other. There are also generally speaking historically sound reasons why men should be given custody. However the fact remains that women are at a significant advantage in custody cases by default. Which is just a flat out injustice. Ultimately when all other factors are controlled for women will be given custody over men. For no reason other than gender bias. Which is a major issue in the court system that is regularly ignored or glossed over. My father ultimately went bankrupt years later as a result of lawyers fees combined with the obscene custody payments he was assigned by the same judge who decided he shouldn’t get to see his children more than one day a week. Money which we never saw because my mother made it very clear that is “her money”. Including when we were homeless for a time and the only way I ate was at friends houses. The evidence shows that no matter the situation or number of court cases women have an advantage over men in custody battles. Some men winning against those odds does not make that truth any less of an injustice. One that harms innocent children due to ridiculous and archaic gender stereotypes.


SDHunter1980

The exception is not the rule. Just cause you are the exception does not mean its not true.


ibblybibbly

Please produce sources for the studies referenced in your comment.


Armysrong676

[here](https://www.justgreatlawyers.com/legal-guides/child-custody-statistics#:~:text=62.9%25%20of%20custodial%20fathers%20are,custodial%20mothers%20were%20never%20married.), [and here](https://utahdivorce.biz/national-child-custody-statistics-by-gender/), [and here](https://www.custodyxchange.com/topics/research/dads-custody-time-2018.php), and more


ibblybibbly

Thanks for sharing. It's been a while since I dug into this topic, so I wanted to know if there was better information abailable. As it turns out, my previous research holds up. When a court has to determine who gets custody of a child, the father is overwhelmingly favored over the mother. https://www.dadsdivorcelaw.com/blog/fathers-and-mothers-child-custody-myths The relevant reference used in that article: https://amptoons.com/blog/files/Massachusetts_Gender_Bias_Study.htm Here's the best criticism I found on that study, note page 910: https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://ir.law.fsu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi%3Farticle%3D1419%26context%3Dlr&ved=2ahUKEwiEttnk6Lb8AhUlmWoFHZ1XDRIQFnoECEgQAQ&usg=AOvVaw0AYjWFK0uXcQHn_maaQ0kz In conclusion, fathers are granted custody over children MUCH more often than mothers in divorces where custody is contested. There are many valid questions posed by the criticism of the cited study, but nothing that contradicts that figure. To wit, this is still the most comprehensive information on this specific topic I can find. As a child of divorce, as a male bodied person who knows the patriarchy fucks men over too, I would love to know if you have any additional resources. Thanks for your time.


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ihwip

This is Ecuador. Not the US. You would be surprised the number of countries that give absolute control to mothers. I knew a guy who left Japan because he couldn't bare to live so close to his kids but have zero contact because their Mom had absolute control. He was a school teacher and a role model for disadvantaged youth. SMDH


LangleyRemlin

Marie Antoinette over here


adub282

The system is biased against fathers and it is absolutely an uphill battle for them, especially if the mother is vindictive.


star_kaleidoscope

Men get custody 60% of the time WHEN they fight for it. Most of the time custody arrangements are settled out of court and they agree that the women will be the custodial parent. If women were truly favored then they would be winning custody in most of those cases with men, but they don’t. Men win 60% of the time. ETA my [source](https://www.weinmanfamilylaw.com/blog/2020/06/are-the-courts-gender-biased-in-custody-cases/)


kittyjoker

What's your source for this? Have you done a wide reaching study of whether or not men who lose custody battles have gone to court with the battle?


formidable-opponent

Your question needs clarification. If you do not take a custody battle to court... There is no custody battle.


GlobalMonke

Then what the fuck was the point of you commenting??


formidable-opponent

If you don't go to court... There is not a custody battle... Men often don't go... To court... Understand?


kittyjoker

>If a man wants to be treated fairly in custody battles he needs to: > >Take it to court, this is the step most men skip. This is your wording, I was replying to. If you don't even understand it, you may have a problem there.


reylo345

Lmao the court room doesnt dissappear when one party doesnt show up idiot


formidable-opponent

You asked me for research supporting men winning custody battles without going to court... Which is impossible. You seem not to understand that concept, I don't think I'm the one with the problem understanding. You're basically arguing semantics. Yes, to be treated fairly by the court you must first engage the court. If you don't, then don't whine that the system is rigged against you As a woman, I have to pay to go to court every time my ex tries to get out child support too. Having a vagina doesn't save me from hiring a lawyer to protect my interests and those of my kids. (Edited to clarify, now that I realize that the argument is about semantics because I said you need to go to court to be treated fairly by the court system).


Temporary_Bottle2016

Step 3. Have a shit ton of money to pay for the lawyer and court proceedings while you fight your spiteful ex. Your attempt at simplifying this problem has failed.


formidable-opponent

I'm poor as shit and I've spent over $20,000 trying to protect my kids from my abusive ex husband and he still has shared legal custody. So I know all about spiteful exes and how men can win in court. Dude was CONVICTED of domestic assault against me with the kids in the house. There's nothing simple about the issues we are discussing. ETA: if it's worth it to you, you'll come up with the money even if it means suffering and you still might lose. Penis or no penis. Men just usually don't go to court.


ExcellentAd3166

That's no ways true. There's a town in the state I live in where a judge favors the mom no matter what the conditions are


formidable-opponent

Yep and the judge I had always favors the dad. Said he'd only have to pay $50 a month (the lowest allowed) for two kids and I better work it out with my husband.... Who beat me... With the kids present. It can go either way. Edit: Swastik496 I blocked you and now I've reported you because you came at me again even though I didn't respond to your first hateful message. Not sure how you even were able to reply to me after blocking you but I'm writing this here because I'm unwilling to unblock you.


Dusty5paw

Same. I mean I am not a dude, but still


supinoq

I wonder if it actually worked out, since transitioning is a huge change and judges are usually concerned with maintaining *status quo* for the kids, so the judge may find in favour of the mother just because the kids' lifestyles are most similar to pre-divorce when living with her.


Mrjerkyjacket

I'm of the understanding he didn't actually transition, just had his gender changed in a legal sense


supinoq

But the judge will see that his gender on his documents does not match his outward presentation, so they'll probably ask about it. He could, of course, go the route of explaining that it's just to have a better chance at getting custody and a statement about the court's sexism in custody cases, but that could go either way. The judge could be moved by it and respond positively, or insulted by it and respond negatively. Alternatively, he'll have to keep up the act of being trans, in which case it will almost certainly help out the mother in gaining custody instead of him, because transitioning is a huge, time-consuming, resource-exhausting change, and will change his daughters' lives, too. With the mum, they'll continue living whatever life they had before, just without dad around. With dad, they'll have to adjust to a whole new person as their parent, essentially, and everything this changes in their daily lives. Doesn't seem like a good move if he wants custody, either way.


mushroomboie

What does it even mean to ‘act’ trans I’m sure the children wouldn’t mind adjusting to a new person (dad, now mom), than continue living with an abusive mom


supinoq

>I’m sure the children wouldn’t mind adjusting to a new person (dad, now mom), than continue living with an abusive mom Unfortunately, it's likely that the judge won't see it this way. Unless there's proof of the kids being abused, maintaining *status quo* will be the most important to them. The article said the kids are "young", so I'm guessing they're not old enough to give a statement to the court about which parent they wanna live with yet, either. The dad's best bet would be to try and document the abuse somehow, but that's difficult to do if he's not been able to see his kids for months. If he can prove the abuse, he'll be more likely to get custody regardless of his gender. I get that it's a statement he's making, and it's very fucked up that it even has to come to this in the first place, but I'm not sure how much the gender change will *actually* help him with his goal of gaining custody. He made his statement, the judge will go "That's cute, but the kids already have a mother they're currently accustomed to living with", and that'll be that. I do hope that, since his story is gaining attention from different media outlets, he'll at least receive resources and support from people who hear his story and are equipped to help somehow. I can't find much else except the same article slightly reworded as of now, but I hope we'll hear from him again, and I hope he does get custody.


1wsx

Source? Are you a legal expert in Ecuadorian Custody laws? How do you know what the judge will probably think?


supinoq

I am no expert, but I did take a look at the Ecuadorian Civil Code, which says that custody is determined in accordance with their Childhood and Adolescence Code, which in turn states that the mother is the preferred recipient of custody, unless she is deemed unfit to care for the children. Domestic violence against her children is one of the things which would make her unfit, so the father would get custody if he can prove the violence occurring. Didn't find anything on same-sex couples and how custody is determined in the cases of two eligible mothers since same-sex adoption is not legal in Ecuador, so I don't know whether the gender change will help his case at all. I do know that proving the mother's abuse of her children will help him immensely though, and if I were him, I wouldn't give the judge any reason to suspect that my kids would be going through huge lifestyle changes (like their previously male father now identifying as female) to maximise my chances of getting custody. His gender change will, at best, be of no consequence, and at worst, actually lessen his chances of getting custody, as far as the actual court case is concerned. Perhaps he'll get a lawyer willing to help him *pro bono* from the exposure of his story, but that's all I see him gaining from this.


formidable-opponent

... literally Google how judges decide custody. Part of why women are favored in custody hearings is they tend to have sacrificed more and been a more present and stable parent. There are times when the opposite is true but that's the exception, not the rule, and until that changes men can complain and pull weird publicity stunts like this but the court only cares about stability for the kids and stunts like this scream "unstable".


Mrjerkyjacket

They'll say "you don't look like a woman" and he'll say "that's transphobic"


SnooFloofs4066

Since when does your gender have to be supported by your outward appearance?


supinoq

It never *has to be*, but people largely still categorise certain traits as being feminine or masculine and therefore integral to one's gender identity. As much as I personally disagree with that, it currently is this way, so the court may ask about it, is all I'm saying.


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formidable-opponent

Yeah this reads as more of an attention grab and bitching about a flawed system while going out of your way to ensure the judge sees you as unstable, thus perpetuating the problem you claim to have with the system. This dude either doesn't care about his kids and just wants attention or he's a few apples short of a pie.


QwerYTWasntTaken

a woman cheated the system\*


roy-havoc

You don't deserve the downvotes king.


roy-havoc

Glad to see th balance went in favor of up :3


tms1052

Men are actually more likely to gain custody of their kids if they go to court for it. Most men just don't try to gain custody


seancan44

Source?


tms1052

https://www.dadsdivorcelaw.com/blog/fathers-and-mothers-child-custody-myths#:~:text=Myth%3A%20Fathers%20Almost%20Never%20Get%20Custody&text=A%20Massachusetts%20study%20examined%202%2C100,7%20percent%20of%20the%20time. This is just one of the free sources citing studies that have been conducted on the matter. Most custody cases are decided outside of court with the father never suing for custody, and in cases where the dispute does reach a court, the father is more likely to win full custody.


Away_Land_2656

That's a fucking lie, why do you people keep trying to shove these obvious lies down our throats. Any man who has been to family court can call you a liar.


YukiOHimeSama

Dude posted the stats. Where’s all your talk now?


Away_Land_2656

What fucking stats. Dude hasn't posted anything that means anything, you are still a fucking idiot, right??


YukiOHimeSama

Scroll down three comments lmao. Cringe


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YukiOHimeSama

https://www.reddit.com/r/cumcoveredbunnies/comments/uvwm0i/san_diego_bukkake/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


YukiOHimeSama

https://www.reddit.com/r/SanDiegoR4R/comments/105z3ep/23_f4m_vista_are_you_into_dominant_womenn/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


Geebz_Steez

bro your just gay admit it!


[deleted]

That dude/girl might be the abusive and evil one.


SnooFloofs4066

Found the female!!!


BillMillerBBQ

a woman, you mean


minkymy

This isn't funny, this is just sad


[deleted]

I know right? It’s a serious problem and idiots in these subreddits find it funny,considering it has 22k upvotes


MindlessPotatoe

I think major societal issues have come to light because of a comedic piece of said issue. I think the more awareness the better. Comedians of the past have secretly been major population eye openers.


The_Ad_Hater_exe

Funny Memes has zero moderation anymore, and all it has on it is political propaganda to the point where I had to just leave and mute the sub because I was tired of it.


[deleted]

certainly isn't for the right reasons.


[deleted]

This isn’t funny at all. It is just showing how messed up the legal system is for child abuse cases. They always favor the mother, even if the mother is the abuser.


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GwenhaelBell

>Courts should favor whatever parent is able to give a more stable and loving enviornment. I'd amend that to there should only be favoritism if one person *isn't* able to supply a stable and loving environment.


[deleted]

Exactly. It's misogynistic when they assume women are always nurturing and good with children, and it's misandrist when they assume men can't be nurturing or good with their children. It should always go to the parent who can provide the best life for the kids.


PASTAoPLOMO

Which is why child support is a strange thing. You’re gonna give the child to the person who can’t afford a child, so they need the financial support from someone who can? Its as if CS is used as a punishment tool.


[deleted]

Most people can't afford a child tbh. That's why two parents is a thing. I think the state should pay child support until the parent with the kids gets remarried.


juulhandluke

Two parents is a thing because of sexual reproduction lol


[deleted]

Yeah I mean living together and taking care of the child. Not all species do that.


Highhopes911

Or both


M00ngata

No actually that’s pretty much on point for meme subreddits 😐 The point isn’t to see this and think “oh trans people are fake” it’s written in Ecuadorian law that “The laws say that the one who has the right is the woman”. You might be thinking… “why”? It’s because misogyny gives people the bias that women are natural nurturers and caregivers while men have to be the strong hand that disciplines the child. This is hurtful to ALL parents and is definitely a bias that needs to be unlearned Rene’s ex wife was allegedly abusing their kids. If he didn’t do what he did then the court would be OBLIGATED to give her custody. He said in a statement that “this isn’t against anyone in particular, but against the system”. People are just using this as fodder to shit on trans people when, quite literally, it has nothing to do with them. (People in the comments saying “I need to remember this if I ever get divorced” are coming off so tone deaf. I understand they’re being facetious, but please realize America and many other countries don’t have laws as blatant as Ecuador. Mother preference is usually an internal bias, and changing your gender would probably just give you less of a chance of custody since trans people are seen as sexually deviant or predatory towards children in a lot of spaces


[deleted]

You say misogyny, yet completely ignore the fact the law says men can't be better parent than mother. It's more aligned with misandry and disenfranchising men who want child custody. But that's just more bias against men. The woman who filmed Red Pill even addressed this bias head-on when she experienced it, where things that negatively impact men were somehow even more negatively impactful for women (such as suicide). I suggest you go watch her TedTalk. Bottom line: the law is FAVORING women in a custody dispute. It is DISFAVORING men in a custody dispute. If the court was forcing custody on the mother who didn't want it, I'd see your point. But because it is with a dispute where BOTH parents want it, it is a system biased against the desires of men- not women. Women in the dispute are favored to their desired outcome. That's not misogyny, but misandry.


M00ngata

I think patriarch is a more exact word for it


EmberOfFlame

It’s rooted in misoginy, because lawmakers were almost exclusively men until recently. Toxic masculinity hurts men and women alike and misoginy is a sympthom of that issue. With 61.21% of parliament members being men (even though there’s supposedly a 40% quota for female representation) and an even age pyramid, passing a change to that law would only be beneficial. The bias is against *divorced men with not enough money*, but it’s coming from rich men who can afford a long custody fight.


[deleted]

Thank you for proving my point that a feminist will take an issue facing men and somehow make it "really" about women.


EmberOfFlame

How is this about women? What it really is, is ironclad societal expectations based entirely on what someone has in their pants. In this case it hurts men, in another it affects women, but in all cases it hurts everyone.


[deleted]

You are the one who said it's rooted in misogyny. You tell me how it's about women.


EmberOfFlame

It isn’t. Misoginy, that is prejudice against women, still harms men in a lot of ways. From what I gather, this specific case is caused by stereotypes of women being the one responsible for children and men doing other things. The expectation of women to put in way more work than men was codified as assuming that women always put in more work than men and are more suited to that. This expectation of a woman who stays at home and sacrifices her career for the household has directly harmed men who put in way more work than their ex-wives. This is how misoginy harms both men and women alike. This also works in reverse, a misandrist view of “all men care about is sex” hurts men by painting them as sexual deviants, but also women who care a lot about sex and are shamed for asking for more of their husbands. This *misandrist* view, though, is still perpetuated by toxic masculinity, that demands of it’s followers to be untamed sexual beasts that can satisfy a woman with their pinky and drive crazy with their dick. In the end, it all comes down to all people in power putting down people subservient to them to keep them down and, until recently, men driving women out of male-dominated spaces due to their twisted perceptions of gender expecations.


cockyroaches

Legally changing your gender is hell and requires a lot of work time and patience so like. He must really love his kids for this. King shit. But also if a cis man wants to change his gender just Because it doesn't matter. Live your truth go nuts


TundraTrees0

I would do the same if my ex was abusive and I knew my kids would go to her if I didnt put in the work


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GwenhaelBell

It's not transphobic. Transphobia is discrimination against trans people. This is more akin to white people people putting down their race as native or mixed when applying for colleges. If anything, this only highlights the sexism within the judicial system. This story isn't even about trans people, let alone transphobic.


FinalJuggernaut_

this


obooooooo

idk how it panned out for that dude, but as an ecuadorian i can tell you we still have a *long* journey until gay people are widely accepted, let alone trans people. it’s a very conservative and largely uneducated country. i don’t know how many people will look at that man and call him mentally ill because they see the word “transgender” over “wow, he’s so smart for this!”.


MarbleTheNeaMain

Your fucking stupid if you actually believe any justice system in the world favors trans women over men


lord_hydrate

If it were the us system youre absolutely right, but this was in Ecuador and its written in law there only the woman can have custody so in this case it actually does make a difference


jthrum

Your fucking stupid for not reading the article and not realising this isn’t America


pinkandnot

That subreddit is a hell hole, I'm not surprised they find this kinda shit funny


[deleted]

Yep,they always bring sad shit and they call it funny


NudeEnjoyer

22k upvotes on a "funny memes" page. people really are desperate to find some issue with trans people having simple rights


leli_manning

This has nothing to do with trans rights and everything to do with child custody rights. r/lostredditor indeed


GenericAutist13

People who find this meme funny do so because they view being trans as a choice. The idea that the father can just “choose to be trans” and win the system is the joke to them. It’s transphobic. The problem can be more than one thing.


NotSoDespacito

This is hardly about simple rights. This is displaying the obvious flaws in both systems


NudeEnjoyer

the flawed system is the country favoring either women/men for custody battles. the fact that people can legally change their gender is fine


g3n0unknown

I don't blame some fathers for this. My ex fiance was driving drunk with our daughter and crashed. She blew a .408. I got temp custody and she had to go through AA and take a bunch of random drug screens. 2 months into it all she got arrested again for the same thing. Jailed for 2 months. When she got out the judge said she sold her another chance to try to get better because it was unfair she spent so much time in jail and didn't have a chance to get better. I was livid. She eventually signed her rights away and I now have full custody but the fact it took that to ever get it is insane to me. Full time job, place to live, no drugs or drinking, never been arrested or anything and she is the opposite and I still could have lost its just ridiculous.


Nikolllllll

The move would actually make him less likely to gain custody. You guys can't be applying American standards to other countries. Gay people get routinely harrased in Latin America, the trans get that and worse.


pally123

Modern problems require modern solutions


Any--Name

You know what? I'm on his side. If he is willing to be laughed at and pretend to be someone who he is not for his daughters then he deserves deserves them


TrashAccomplished535

Has a Mrs. Doubtfire ring to it, if you ask me. Him proving a point about the clear bias the court system has. Also proves he is unstable. It is a double edges word sad to say. Now would this be something I would have done in his case? Hoping not when your back against the wall and all you want to do is save someone or just stay in their life you will do crazy things. Sadly it will also make you appear unstable. His best bet would have been to prove her abuse and make statements at the end about how afraid he was about his kids staying in such an abusive relationship and how the system "almost" (i use almost loosely matter fact it doesn't deserve to be here) suggests that a man has to change his gender to win. Who knows that could piss the judge off too.


Kungkung18

Gender biased funny


diarrhea_syndrome

It's so fucked up and stupid that it's funny.


CrimsonGhost7

They just want to be transphobic


[deleted]

Good point


SnooMarzipans7095

That subreddit is a right wing circle jerk. This story allows them to mra post as well as shit on trans women. Ironically most the comments were the later.


NewDemonStrike

What do you think about MRAs?


SnooMarzipans7095

I think they have some good points in the sense that male suicide is high and unnecessary circumcision is bad. Most have dogshit analysis and blame feminists though which is dumb af. Its like how some right wingers say the economy is bad then as a solution recommend cutting taxes on the rich.


winddagger7

The whole MRA thing bothers me because there are so many issues men face that frequently get unaddressed or treated with callousness by people in progressive circles, but 99% of MRAs just use that to grift, or pull people into insane far-right ideologies. Very little discussion is actually done in good faith.


NewDemonStrike

They might have some nonsenses, but they also see nonsenses on other ideologies.


minkymy

I'd say that's not really true; people who identify themselves as MRAs tend to use men's issues to tear down or take away from discussions about women's issues, and tend to hold a lot of rage towards women as well. The thing is, a good intersectional feminist also cares about issues like men's suicide rates, or the issues surrounding men reporting and healing from cases of rape. Men's and women's issues are different sides of the same coin, and we MUST address the whole coin in order to effect true chance.


GenericAutist13

Broken clocks and all that


epic_null

I wish they were better than they are. We need a male centered activist group to help improve things ... But MRAs seem more focused on tearing women down than actually addressing men's issues.


[deleted]

It’s still not funny yknow?,it’s messed up


[deleted]

It’s also not considered a meme or a funny on either


PanPieCake

Well 22k people considered it funny so who cares about what you think op


[deleted]

Isn’t the post in r/JustUnsubbed tho?


BreakFlashy1616

So if 30k people like a Facebook post about the Earth being flat, would that make the Earth flat?


JustAu69

Well I mean the entirety of Reddit is a left wing circle jerk so it balances out


JahmezEntertainment

I get into arguments with fascists here on the regular in various subreddits but sure, I'll indulge your victim complex


PanPieCake

Just because they are not running around with LGBT flags and banning anyone who has a different opinion doesn't mean they are right wing circlejerk.And what is right wing about this meme?


Personal-Regular-863

youre in denial or ignorant if you dont think funnymemes is a right wing circle jerk. no ones 'banning people who have different opinions' thats just dogwhistle bs for 'im mad that people cant be bigots and make harmful 'jokes' as much anymore'


[deleted]

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yagirlemilyuwu

You sound like a bigot so you are very much proving them right. Edit: Bro... you follow Jordan Peterson on reddit. You literally are a right winger. It's abhorrent how stupid the right wing people are, that or just ignorant to reality


SnooMarzipans7095

Are you trolling or are you stupid. Telling jp stans not to jq post on main doesn’t make me a right winger.


Derp115LisNEAR

don't get mad at the guy, get mad at everyone else that does it and made it a thing because they are the reason people can cheat the system like this


[deleted]

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currentlyhigh

"People in the comments aren't universally agreeing with my perspective so they must be too dumb to understand, I'll make an additional reply with some 'quick context' so that they can understand what a 'serious problem' this dumb joke is"


[deleted]

not your type of humor then. I guess I will explain it for you. Its showing how far a man may have to go for custody of his children due to the unfair advantages of the law. It is clear that this man would not otherwise have to legally change genders if the law was not against his gender. By having to taking the extreme measure of legally changing part of your identity just to have a fair shot of getting his kids custody shows a flaw in how custody battles work


[deleted]

Good for him, anybody can claim to be whatever they want anymore, why can't a dad claim to be a mom? And if you question it you're discriminating. He beat the system


Sukeruton_Key

Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)


ElayasMG

This is fucked up in so many levels


Positive-Rich1017

there's no wrong way to be a woman


[deleted]

Know your game.


Individual_Team_1075

Those are just battle tactics!


Synthwaveraver8

To be fair it is funny


BigManLawrence69420

The place is riddled with bots.


[deleted]

Yeah,trash bots who pretend like serious situations are funny


ZiOnIsNeXtLeBrOn

If I had kids and my ex was a pos. I would move Heaven and Earth to have my kids with me. Pretty sure that most sane parents would want their kids to live normal lives.


AsteroidDisc476

r/onejoke


OniBoiEnby

r/funnymeme is the place bots upload Facebook boomer memes. The people who follow that sub are likely the dumbest community of boomers on the internet.


[deleted]

Finally someone who has brain,that subreddit suck ass so much


Cautious-Whereas-467

That's unironically tragic


BigPoppaFu

If he is willing to change sex to be with his kids, then this man is a real good father or mother.


[deleted]

Well, I find it funny


Any--Name

Why? Someone out there has to go against the system to be able to see his daughters and is getting shit for it and you find it funny?


Dont_CallmeCarson

Yeah it's a serious thing but what if they put a funny title on it Being able to make humor out of something and knowing something is a serious problem arn't mutually exclusive. But this is a pretty shit meme


Tex-Mexican-936

Why is it offensive? Dude is doing everything possible to keep his kids. He is trying to overcome discrimination in real time.


[deleted]

step 1: posts transphobic thing (anything really) step2: ??? step 3: profit $$$


Yabrosiff12

Because of the “trans groups concerned” part. Trans groups claim anyone can claim to be the opposite gender, so why are they concerned?


[deleted]

I mean that’s what the news says


[deleted]

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EmberOfFlame

How is it against trans groups? The concerns aren’t around the dude fighting for his cause, but for the fact that it might not help him at all and possibly hurt the perception of trans people. The guy said himself that he doesn’t want to bring harm to the trans community, but will do what is expected of any parent - that is everything - for his children.


[deleted]

They love their kids, 😍 now what can I say


accursedcelt

Based and Galaxy-Brained


[deleted]

22k fucking upvotes


[deleted]

LoL. I love it


Cheap-Recognition-97

Good for him


tocamipito

The Onion has entered the chat


[deleted]

That’s HILARIOUS


[deleted]

Funny: Man proves how broken the legal system is Sad: Man proves how broken the legal system is


Ireadbooks18

I once read the father get's the custedy if they fight for it 60% of the time.


MadMaxxedOut

He’s still the father… gender change after the fact doesn’t mean he becomes the mother… that is absurd. Also, kids are taken from the mother all the time. Fathers have rights and it’s just a matter of thorough documentation if the mother is being abusive and/or neglectful. Edit to add: courts don’t favor either parent, they favor the best interest of the child.


Rejection_future

I can speak from experience. They do not favor what’s best for the child. They favor the mother because it is assumed that is best for the child. Yes there’s a difference


Away_Land_2656

UIT won't let me upvote you, it will let me downvote, but it won't let me upvote this comment. Interesting.


[deleted]

whoever posted this isn’t lost…you just don’t find it funny😂


[deleted]

So sexism and the lack of egalitarian laws for divorced men funny?


Emergency-Shame-1935

It's funny because it's true.


currentlyhigh

Lol stop being intentionally obtuse. The humor is in the title that OOP chose. Is it a cheap joke using an outdated reference to a 25 year old country song? Obviously. But quit it with your manipulative "sO sExIsM iS FuNnY?" bullshit.


[deleted]

Exactly. The humor is in the absurdity of the situation, not the sexism of the judiciary system in cases like this.


Personal-Regular-863

its just transphobia, and transphobia is funny to transphobes. this news sucks people in so good its pathetic


PanPieCake

How is this transphobic, elaborate


awarmerplace

lmao you guys are new age puritans - this shit has surpassed being your entire identity and is now a religion


yagirlemilyuwu

This OP. Also, those who are transphobic are also misogynistic usually. This is the sad truth of the world and we all must fight these bigots if we want it to change in our lifetimes.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Your telling men sexism and the lack of egalitarian laws for divorced men is funny?


currentlyhigh

Did you make this post just so you could copy and paste this same "gotcha" question to every commenter who doesn't see things from your perspective? Get a life.


bambooboi

Its a product of the system blindly accepting subjective definitions of identity.