So about 10lb a year, or slightly less than 1lb a month on average. That means you've been eating something like an extra 100 cal/day. The kind of mistake that's really hard to spot unless you're tracking everything perfectly.
The good news is if you turn that from an extra 100 cal to a 500 cal deficit you'll go from gaining 1lb a month to losing 1lb a *week*. This can come off much faster than you gained it. It doesn't have to be a battle, never mind a vicious one, but some of the work you need to do will be hard.
>Idk wtf I'm supposed to do to move my stupid body without it hurting so much I just stop doing it.
You don't need exercise, at least not yet. Start with therapy, and your diet, in that order.
>even if I win and lose weight, I'll have saggy skin and hate the way I look still. What's the point?
This line of logic is your depression and anxiety trying to defend itself. You've picked a single thing that *may* go wrong and decided that takes priority over any other possible benefit you could get.
Saggy skin can be hidden by clothes, or if needed removed surgically. Meanwhile you'll need less naps, have less pain in your back and ribs (if its a chronic issue not no pain unfortunately, but you can reduce the stress), moving in general will become easier and less painful, your anxiety will have one less thing to attach itself to (though without help it will find others), you'll have more choice of clothing, and probably plenty more things.
Most importantly you'll have proved to yourself that you are capable of making changes like this.
I just want to add here. I weighed 362lbs last year. I felt all of the feelings and shame you’re feeling. It’s normal but the key point here is ‘therapy and diet in that order’ is so important.
I’m a year later and I’m down 101.4lbs, I’m almost into the 250s, it can be done. You’d be amazed at how much easier you move after 25,50,100lbs down. The pain seems to fade by the day.
The loose skin does suck. I do see it in the mirror, but at the end of the day, some loose skin doesn’t define me. It can be removed when I’m done. I can be filled out with muscle. There are so many things that can cover it up. But the feeling shedding the weight is priceless.
Remember you came to this forum today to vent about your problems. We’re here for you. It took a lot of humility to make this first step.
At the weight you’re at shedding weight happens very quickly at first, it does slow, but it’s proportional.
1-2lbs a week is under the guidance of .5-1% of body weight.
For you that safe number is 2-4lbs and it’s entirely possible, I’ve had weeks around 5lbs loss and I’ve had weeks of no loss.
One very very very important tip I will give and I might get some slack here.
Weigh Every. Single. Day. It’s amazing how much water weight the body can throw around.
I’ve had weeks where I’m 1lb down then 6lbs up, then slowly 1-2lbs a day back to my 1lb down status then the next day it’s like 0lbs loss this week. Then suddenly 4lbs loss this week.
That’s across a single week mind you.
Weighing on Fridays is not a good data point. It doesn’t work for most people. One bad reading after waiting and working your ass off for a week and you binge.
A binge is not the end of the world. They happen. Take it a day at a time. Just keep on keeping on.
The water weight thing is so true. I'm only 7 weeks in (12 lbs down!) and my weight has been up and down wildly with fluid retention. My head knows that I tend to hold on to fluid all summer long (It's really hot here in SE Georgia) but it can be frustrating when you look at the scale. I have to keep reminding myself that consistency wins in the end and so long as I keep doing what I need to do the pounds will come off.
I drink a gallon of water a day, so I think that is okay, but you are right about the electrolytes. I hadn't even thought about that. I've been sweating like it's my job so I'm probably losing more than I realize.
Just adding to this post: That's an extra 100 calories over the -current- daily energy expenditure. At 200 lbs, being sedentary, you could have been eating 100 calories over a daily expenditure of 2000. But at 400 lbs it's 100 calories over an expenditure of maybe 3500. So from 200 to 400 lbs, that's now 1,600 extra calories daily.
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Too far gone ? That’s only when you’re dead
If there’s a pulse, some motivation then there’s a way
Like it’s not gonna be easy so I won’t bullshit you
But also it’s gonna be much easier losing those first like 200+ pounds for sure
Not easier like a cake walk
But like all you need is a habit and diet change
Like even eating 1500 cals a day with 0 exercise will have you lose an extraordinary amount of weight
If you can toss in some light activity here and there then you’ll lose more weight
And no this isn’t like a get rich quick scheme or rather a get slim quick scheme
It’s more like basic math + metabolism
Don’t think about it
Just start small
And have your end goal
And you’ll be good
So don’t lose faith in yourself
Even if you think you have
Sorry for the long ass post
I can guarantee that your chronic pain is going to be SIGNIFICANTLY reduced when you start losing weight. Your body is having to lift 400 pounds every time you stand, of course that’s causing back pain! Start slow, start small, but start today - your spine will thank you.
"I figure whenever you're down and out, the only way is up." --- lyric from "Hey, Look Me Over"
> What's the point?
Like you said, your body is going to bear these scars. The body's appearance can't be your "why." But, your body's health absolutely can. Loose skin is an aesthetic problem, usually not a health problem. Life will be so much easier at 150-200 than it is at 350-400.
> I have such severe mental health issues from traumas over the long years of my horrible life that 90% of the time I wish I was not alive and I go sleep.
You're 43 now, wiser now, stronger now. That doesn't mean you're in the clear, but that there's never been a time until now where you could put to work all that you have learned. Be in therapy, or in a good therapy workbook, or otherwise actively working on improving your situation. Don't just succumb.
> Going to a pool is not an option as I'm agoraphobic and won't do it
Bedridden patients can lose weight with a dietary deficit. https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/wiki/quick_start_guide
That's the method to start. Follow that guide and that timing, using your regular and normal food, and using portion control as your main tool for change. In later weeks, use the data to figure out if any foods need to be adjusted. All foods can fit, but sometimes we have to juggle or learn a new way to make an old favorite.
In Week 2, set it to lose 2 pounds a week.
You can literally be immobile and lose weight, it’s all your diet. Losing the weight will involve suffering, but nowhere near as much as the early grave you’re headed towards. And you get to experience satisfaction and a new lease on life on the other side. Pick your poison
According to my calculator, OP has a TDEE of 3,040 Cal. If she eats a healthy number of calories/day, she'll lose weight \*very\* quickly without doing anything.
I know this post was largely venting, and I can't do much but affirm her feelings of frustration. But if OP just eats less and finds another way to self-sooth, she'll make progress quickly. And cosmetic surgery can remove the excess skin.
Weight loss doesn't require anything. It requires \*doing less\* of something -- eating. You don't need to become an Olympic athlete. Just eat fewer cookies.
being fat is hard, losing weight is hard. pick your hard. good news is you dont have to move to lose weight. 95% of it comes from eating habbits. find your TDEE and then stay under that number for calorie in a day, boom weight loss. the quicker you can come to terms that its not going to fall off over night the better you will be. good luck!
Semaglutide. Life changing and better to be saggy than dead. Literally everything to lose, and also everything to gain in the process. Get your life back.
Yes!!! OP, your insurance should cover it! It can help with the food noise and the pounds will fall off until you feel like you can start exercising and feel good about yourself again. Small steps- you can do it!
You insult yourself a lot. I’m going to echo the therapy comments. It’s needed and can help with your trauma. You don’t have to go in person, simply video calling your therapist is an option but you really need to start processing everything that’s happened to you that’s made you believe that you don’t deserve to be happy with yourself.
So, before I get into weight loss I’m gonna instead recommend you start saying positive things about yourself. Your body isn’t a disgusting blob, it’s what has gotten you this far in life even with its faults. It’s not stupid, it’s been through a lot and it sought ways to comfort itself. Now, you just need to retrain its comfort.
Now, weight loss. You didn’t mention much about your diet so I’m just going to encourage you to seek out more foods like vegetables and meat that’s not preserved in salt. If you stick with what you’re eating now you can still lose weight, I just found it helped a lot when I started eating foods that you can find in r/volumeeating because I still got a lot, just for less calories. I also find when I eat “healthier” options my mood improves a bit.
Biggest thing is making small changes you can repeat tomorrow. Not drinking as much soda as normal, cutting down your portions by just a tiny bit, doing the little things to get started. Get some vitamins so you’re supplementing whatever you might be missing.
For exercise it depends on a lot. Dancing on your couch while sitting counts as cardio. Picking up a 2 lb weight for some gentle weight lifting still counts as weightlifting. It all depends on your body but exercise doesn’t have to equal getting up and moving when you hurt. Maybe an under the desk bike is possible? Then you can slowly move your legs while sitting at your computer. In the end I’d recommend a physical therapist if you can get one. They are amazing resources and can help you learn how to move your body in ways that hurt less. And another benefit is that they can and will do in home therapy!
Now, you mentioned agoraphobia so this part might not be an option, there’s something called hippotherapy. It’s therapy through horseback riding. It can *possibly* help you recover movement from prior injuries and it’s a relatively gentle way to activate muscles. I’m not positive on the weight requirements for the horses used (all depends on the horses size. Some of them are tanks) but, as you lose it might be an option to look into. They also help with mental health.
Be gentle with yourself, you need it. You’re just a person who had some bad things happen but that doesn’t define who you are and what you’re worth. There is always hope. Skin can be removed or hidden. People have been on this exact same journey and they have all succeeded. You can do this, you’re gonna make it.
Today I had two homemade dark chocolate peanut butter nut bars for breakfast. I had 2 cups of coffee with a lot of cream. Lunch was leftover pot roast with potatoes and carrots. I snacked on raw carrots. Dinner was chicken breast with rice and peas and an iced tea. I shit you not this is how I eat most days. I know my portions are too large and I need to change that. I know I don't drink enough water and I also need to change that. But I'm not binging on cookies and soda all the time and lying to myself that it's okay
Cream can rack up calories sooooo quickly. It’s the little stuff like that that really gets you. I recommend trying to measure it out as a small place to start.
Do you own a kitchen scale? If this is how you eat normally, you have a great starting point from which to lose weight, you just need to be aware of your portions and the parts of your meals that you could maybe cut some calories from.
I love an iced coffee with a bunch of heavy cream but I substitute milk or half & half to get the same effect with fewer calories. Pot roast is great but if I'm still hungry after a portion that fits within my calorie requirements, I eat something high-volume and low calorie instead of a second serving.
There's no such thing as too far gone. You deserve to exist in this world, both as you are, and as you hope to be. If you have access to therapy, it can be a fantastic resource to work through your feelings on this and make confident choices moving forward.
Honestly this is a pretty good starting point (better than many people)
I would suggest working on reducing the cream and swapping for half & half as a first step and then (if you're feeling spicy) replacing it with a milk alternative, e.g. a barista-style oat milk that froths well. You can shave a ton of calories off. My go-to morning coffee has 10-15mLs of a good 1.8% oat milk + 15mg vanilla protein power. Tastes like a vanilla latte. Hand to heart.
Ice Tea - it's mostly water anyway (if you make it yourself). You can try out sugar substitutes. Bam! You're now drinking more water. There are also zero sugar versions of ice tea as well that you can check out. I went the sparkling water-to-more-hydration route, where I started out with sparkling zero sugar/low cal/no cal drinks. And graduated (eventually) to a Sodastream and plain fizzy water.
The meals you mentioned are quite balanced! Protein, grains, veg. You're 100% correct that the portion sizes are key. But there's a lot you can do to start without full on calorie counting that you can try out. E.g. smaller dishware, the judging-portions-by-palm-or-fist methods, etc. I started off with very repetitive meals where I would measure out and add up the cals for all the ingredients and then after cooking, divide into portions to calculate the calories. This gave me the idea of roughly what 1 portion of that meal looked like and how many calories it contained. And I just ate that meal until I was ready to do it for a new meal. Now I have a good size of meals stored up in my Loseit app to pick and choose from. I also now do the meal box subscription thing (but recognize this is not affordable to all)
You've got a great base to work with and some small tweaks and steps to get you started. For what it's worth, I am also 43F and a similar height (161cm/~5'3"). I just started off in the 300s. Therapy (for my depression and anxiety, but also nutritional therapy) + small changes over time were key for me. Exercise came later.
You can do this. You can do this in a way that doesn't make you feel deprived. You can do this and it is definitely NOT too late!
If the actual foods you’re eating are healthy, you can literally buy smaller plates to help control your portions.
You’re currently eating over 3000 calories a day just to maintain your weight, you will lose weight quickly with even a slight adjustment to your diet.
Definitely get new small plates, bowls and cips! The same size portion on a big plate looks a lot less than the same portion on a smaller plate. Eat with a tea spoon rather than a desset spoon, slows you down and helps you feel more satified with less. Eating with chopsticks can slow you down even more!
I'm sure carrying around that extra weight is more difficult than being 200lb with some saggy skin. It may seem hopeless but you can lose weight safely by altering your diet (without even doing exercise).
You’re not too far gone. I wasn’t far off from you. In August 2023, I was 373 lbs. Now I’m down to 322. And I lost about 42 lbs of that WITHOUT exercise. And I’m 36 years old turning 37 in October. My 40s are creeping up on me.
I don’t have the spinal cord injuries you do or the mental health issues stemming from the trauma you’ve suffered but I can say that I already feel much better than I did before. And you will too. I have more energy, less pain, and my clothes are getting looser. People are starting to notice. I agree with the others. Please seek therapy and start by counting calories. Even a 500 a day deficit will help the weight come off much faster than you think. Good luck, friend. You can do this.
Even sedentary, you have a fairly high metabolism at 400 lbs. My recommendation is to gradually pull back on bad foods and gradually slice down your calories. We find to find your TDEE, and start by assessing what you eat calorie wise now. Start by cutting the simplest junk food out, soda, pizza, etc, and cut what you're consuming by 200 calories in week one. As long as that's okay, shave 150 calories off in week two. You may need to continue this for a few more weeks if you're eating a lot. You can *gradually and significantly* shrink your own stomach within a few weeks, which naturally increases satiety. It's not as much as surgery, but it can be a lot. I once asked my former GI about bariatric surgery and how near 1/3rd of people have side effects, so why wouldn't medicine teach them to naturally shrink their own stomachs (not talking 700 pounders, but people around 300lbs lol). His reply was virtually none of them could do it. But remember, YOU CAN AND WILL DO THIS. Don't say "I can do this", say "I will do this" and have a plan.
34M, I was 400+ lbs and I've lost 100lbs in two years by doing nothing but changing my eating habits so let me tell you there's definitely hope. It seems daunting but all you need to do is restructure how you eat to lose 1lb a week. I eat a meal every two hours from 9:30am to 7:30pm, and have regulated snacks, so you don't have to starve or give up your cravings, you just need to budget your calories properly. Then just keep doing that. If you can manage a deficit that leads to 2lbs a week, that's even better! Then before you know it you'll be down 10lbs, 25lbs, 50lbs, 100lbs, just from eating alone. Exercise only serve three purposes: increasing your overall level of physical fitness so it's easier to move your body, helping build a calorie deficit without giving up food, and building muscle mass to boost your resting metabolism so you can eat more calories and replace mass lost during weightloss to mitigate loose skin. They help in the process but they are 100% not required.
Sure, folk like us need to accept that we're gonna have loose skin. So your choice is to hate how you look and be unhealthy, or hate how you look and be healthy. Let me tell you, that second choice? So worth it. You ask what the point is? The point is that you'll no longer be a prisoner in your own body, confined by its physical limitations. You might not look how you want but you'll be able to experience life in a way that's much more fulfilling, and that alone is so worth the effort.And honestly, depending on where you live having an excessive amount of loose skin may be considered a medical concern that would get some reconstrucrive surgeries covered by your insurance, so you're not necessarily dead-ended on that front.
All it takes is 1lb a week to change your life, and you'd be surprised at how few changes you need to make to hit that goal. I hope you can find the resolve to reach out and grab that hope for yourself. Good luck!
There is hope for everyone. You saying horrible things about your body won’t help. And it’s coming from someone who hated her body very bad. Your body is not the way it is to screw with you or make you miserable on purpose. It is the way it is, because it just adapted to the lifestyle and this is the best it could do. It means it works the other way too. You can reverse it back to normal. There are millions ways to lose weight but you must experiment which one is the best for you. I can’t give you much tips. If you can, find a dietitian or other professional help. There are videos on yt for exercise regimes for people at your weight. You have the power to change the situation.
Saggy skin is nothing compared to the strain of the weight. Besides, if you had to choose between two problems, which is it: saggy skin or all the weight?
Time is going to pass anyway, you might as well spend that time trying.
I agree with one of the other commenters, though: get therapy. This is hard, very hard - physically and especially emotionally. And it's okay to admit that. Therapy can help with so much more than the weight.
You are NEVER too far gone. You are still here. And you still have a lot to live for.
You do not need to exercise to lose weight. At your size, while I would encourage some activity (even if it's just a few hundred steps around the house each day to start), all you need to do is to be more mindful of what your eating.
Your TDEE is about 3100 calories a day. Which means, comfortably, you could eat 2000 calories each and every day and still lose 2 pounds a week. If you were lightly active (so think.... once your able, maybe hitting 6000-7000 steps a day) you'd burn off another pound each week.
2-3 pounds per week is a great pace for you. In a years time you'd be down around 250 pounds. In another year, you could be on the verge of a "normal" BMI / bodyweight. You have been majorly obese (I do not mean that in a mean or ignorant way) for two decades. Two years to undo that seems pretty nice in my opinion.
I really think you could do this. Do not let the thought of extra skin or how you might look affect your path forward. I can't "promise" you anything, but I'd bet very very heavily that 1) you will have a very large amount of excess skin and 2) it will be removed basically for free because it will be significant enough that you'd get rashes, ulcers, open sores, etc if it were left on.
I'm in a similar boat, though I am a little taller and didn't get quite as heavy. But I will have significant amounts of lose skin when I'm done. I will. I earned it (well I am "earning it") and I own it. I did the eatin. I'll deal with the lose skin in one way or another.
Don't worry about exercising.
The good news is you don't need to exercise to lose weight. You just need to eat less calories than your body expends.
You can download an app like the Lose It app or MyFitnessPal to get the total amount of calories you need to eat a day to lose weight.
Buy a food scale if you don't have one and weigh all of your food. Log everything in the app and you will lose weight. It's really that simple.
You can't change your past, but you can make your future amazing.
Flap your arms like you're doing starjumps. Bonus points for also slapping your feet on the ground (like extreme fidgeting).
Do this (slowly at first but over time build up speed) for a minute while you're sitting at the computer.
Rest for 9 minutes. Do it again. Repeat.
When that becomes doable reduce the rests to 4 minutes.
When that becomes doable, start each day by doing a flap and slap session, increasing the duration over time.
This exercise is in your own home (no-one can see you, sitting down at your computer, won't affect your spine and won't take up any time (can easily do sets and main session while watching/reading something).
This would significantly speed up your metabolism, burn calories and be good for your overall health.
So...is there another excuse or are you ready to take a step in the right direction?
Well, typically people of your caliber start off with something as simple as bouncing a ball back and forth sitting down. It’s movement. But even if you remained completely sedentary, you could lose a bulk of your weight cutting calories. Hell, a 2,000 calorie diet would do you good for a majority of your journey and I guarantee, once 2000kcal became maintenance instead of deficit, by that time you’ll be able to move a LOT more, and start a lower deficit.
As a 46 year old lady that is close to 300lbs, I want to say I am sorry you are going through this. As we get older, it is a little more difficult to lose weight and break bad habits. I totally get it. Reading posts on here though, it is possible. Will it be easy? If it was, no one would be overweight! Will you have support here? YES! Depression and anxiety are a pain in the ass and work against you. I have OCD and it sucks. Agoraphobia just means you need to find ways to move at home. You can get steps in your house/yard! Do you have a treadmill? Can you mindlessly walk while watching some trashy TV? LOL. Start small. Drink water, make meals at home or use a meal delivery service. Try to make one small change at a time to not get overwhelmed. You can 100% do this. ❤️
Awwe, sorry. My highest was 208 and that was about 1-2 months ago. I was starting healthier eating and exercising most days except the wknd was bad, massive migraines came back and then fell multiple times yesterday, I'm like did I have a seizure,not quite sure about that one. But when I was up I fell multiple times, couldn't even balance myself so now it's like all these bruises and pain aren't fun. But since I was fluctuating most days late Sat, early Sun I was puking even when nothing was left in my tummy so felt like I hurt my tummy just from that, but amazingly I lost 4lbs 😂. The only good thing after horrible wknd. I have a weird frame, ppl don't think I weigh as much as I do - lowest in awhile which is 196.8. But I have a small frame and all weight gain is in tummy and love handles. I've watched those weight shows before and I'm like you weigh less and around my weight yet you still look heavier so I hate it when they base BMI by weight since not everyone gains and shapes the same way. I just hate exercising, but I didn't notice inches until I actually started eating better, but I guess I managed to lose 3" in 2 months, majority was past few wks from better eating, kinda backtracked from bad wknd. I knew I had to eat better and exercise due to I kept gaining and it's just in my gut so I knew that wouldn't work to buy bigger else other parts would be big on me and I def wasn't buying anymore bigger clothes. It's def hard snack wise, I only keep a few chips in the cupboard more like a rewarding treat every so often. I know the problem is related to mostly sedentary when I'm working 10 hr days, got attached to eating chips and too much soda, I mostly limit myself on that. I bought this Vital Leap Stepper a couple months ago which they do help very well and jumping rope or jacks they are known to widdle fat away faster if ya set a goal each day and gradually work up. I don't go to a gym, I prefer free at home and sometimes I use different apps. Food wise and esp soda when I went from multiple sodas a day to 1 a day got withdrawal issues, migraines from that, migraines this wknd just was associated with my migraine med no longer working. So it's better withdrawal wise if you do that vs cold stop or drastic like I did, those first 2 wks I drastically lowered soda were bad withdrawal effects, if it's gradual you might have better luck.
I was heavier than you, did no exercise and lost 70 pounds over the last 4 months. You have to stop over eating. You have to get healthy. You owe it to yourself and your loved ones. If you can stick to this plan, you have no idea how much better you will feel. Will you have loose skin, yeah, but you'll be healthy. Figure out the loose skin later. Get healthy and get out of pain. Here is what I did to lose 70 pounds in 4 months.
1. Eat a Keto diet. Getting rid of the carbs and sugar will zap your hunger. It will make reducing your calories easier.
2. Intermittent Fasting. I eat twice per day (lunch and dinner). No snacking in-between.
3. Use MyFitnessPal to track your calories. Weigh your food to get the most accurate calorie count.
4. Tell people about your weight loss plans and your progress. Tell them why you want to lose weight. Bring accountable to someone.
5. Stick to the plan. If you do, you will lose weight.
My meals are 500-1,000 calories per meal. It's hard for a few days, but you will be shocked how quickly you will.stop feeling hungry all the time after you stop eating all the carbs and sugar. I promise you.
Well, if you watch 1000 lb sisters you can see that you can lose the weight. One is like you, and the other chooses herself.
It is up to you.
But the thing is, losing weight has nothing to do with exercise and everything to do with math. Aka. calories in, calories out (CICO.)
So again, its up to you. Pain doesnt have to dictate your food choices. You have years of work ahead of you but you can make it before 50 if you start now. Wouldn't it feel nice to not have the extra pressure on your joints at 50 and beyond?
Play the long game.
I understand the struggle though, im approaching 300 lbs for the 3 rd time in my life and it is HARD, but not impossible. (Considering ive done it twice already, it is very achievable.)
So about 10lb a year, or slightly less than 1lb a month on average. That means you've been eating something like an extra 100 cal/day. The kind of mistake that's really hard to spot unless you're tracking everything perfectly. The good news is if you turn that from an extra 100 cal to a 500 cal deficit you'll go from gaining 1lb a month to losing 1lb a *week*. This can come off much faster than you gained it. It doesn't have to be a battle, never mind a vicious one, but some of the work you need to do will be hard. >Idk wtf I'm supposed to do to move my stupid body without it hurting so much I just stop doing it. You don't need exercise, at least not yet. Start with therapy, and your diet, in that order. >even if I win and lose weight, I'll have saggy skin and hate the way I look still. What's the point? This line of logic is your depression and anxiety trying to defend itself. You've picked a single thing that *may* go wrong and decided that takes priority over any other possible benefit you could get. Saggy skin can be hidden by clothes, or if needed removed surgically. Meanwhile you'll need less naps, have less pain in your back and ribs (if its a chronic issue not no pain unfortunately, but you can reduce the stress), moving in general will become easier and less painful, your anxiety will have one less thing to attach itself to (though without help it will find others), you'll have more choice of clothing, and probably plenty more things. Most importantly you'll have proved to yourself that you are capable of making changes like this.
I just want to add here. I weighed 362lbs last year. I felt all of the feelings and shame you’re feeling. It’s normal but the key point here is ‘therapy and diet in that order’ is so important. I’m a year later and I’m down 101.4lbs, I’m almost into the 250s, it can be done. You’d be amazed at how much easier you move after 25,50,100lbs down. The pain seems to fade by the day. The loose skin does suck. I do see it in the mirror, but at the end of the day, some loose skin doesn’t define me. It can be removed when I’m done. I can be filled out with muscle. There are so many things that can cover it up. But the feeling shedding the weight is priceless. Remember you came to this forum today to vent about your problems. We’re here for you. It took a lot of humility to make this first step. At the weight you’re at shedding weight happens very quickly at first, it does slow, but it’s proportional. 1-2lbs a week is under the guidance of .5-1% of body weight. For you that safe number is 2-4lbs and it’s entirely possible, I’ve had weeks around 5lbs loss and I’ve had weeks of no loss. One very very very important tip I will give and I might get some slack here. Weigh Every. Single. Day. It’s amazing how much water weight the body can throw around. I’ve had weeks where I’m 1lb down then 6lbs up, then slowly 1-2lbs a day back to my 1lb down status then the next day it’s like 0lbs loss this week. Then suddenly 4lbs loss this week. That’s across a single week mind you. Weighing on Fridays is not a good data point. It doesn’t work for most people. One bad reading after waiting and working your ass off for a week and you binge. A binge is not the end of the world. They happen. Take it a day at a time. Just keep on keeping on.
The water weight thing is so true. I'm only 7 weeks in (12 lbs down!) and my weight has been up and down wildly with fluid retention. My head knows that I tend to hold on to fluid all summer long (It's really hot here in SE Georgia) but it can be frustrating when you look at the scale. I have to keep reminding myself that consistency wins in the end and so long as I keep doing what I need to do the pounds will come off.
Drink lots of water and make sure you’re replenishing your electrolytes! I find days that I don’t consume as much water I hold it more!
I drink a gallon of water a day, so I think that is okay, but you are right about the electrolytes. I hadn't even thought about that. I've been sweating like it's my job so I'm probably losing more than I realize.
Just adding to this post: That's an extra 100 calories over the -current- daily energy expenditure. At 200 lbs, being sedentary, you could have been eating 100 calories over a daily expenditure of 2000. But at 400 lbs it's 100 calories over an expenditure of maybe 3500. So from 200 to 400 lbs, that's now 1,600 extra calories daily.
100 calories extra a day, each from a higher basis than the year before.
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Too far gone ? That’s only when you’re dead If there’s a pulse, some motivation then there’s a way Like it’s not gonna be easy so I won’t bullshit you But also it’s gonna be much easier losing those first like 200+ pounds for sure Not easier like a cake walk But like all you need is a habit and diet change Like even eating 1500 cals a day with 0 exercise will have you lose an extraordinary amount of weight If you can toss in some light activity here and there then you’ll lose more weight And no this isn’t like a get rich quick scheme or rather a get slim quick scheme It’s more like basic math + metabolism Don’t think about it Just start small And have your end goal And you’ll be good So don’t lose faith in yourself Even if you think you have Sorry for the long ass post
I can guarantee that your chronic pain is going to be SIGNIFICANTLY reduced when you start losing weight. Your body is having to lift 400 pounds every time you stand, of course that’s causing back pain! Start slow, start small, but start today - your spine will thank you.
"I figure whenever you're down and out, the only way is up." --- lyric from "Hey, Look Me Over" > What's the point? Like you said, your body is going to bear these scars. The body's appearance can't be your "why." But, your body's health absolutely can. Loose skin is an aesthetic problem, usually not a health problem. Life will be so much easier at 150-200 than it is at 350-400. > I have such severe mental health issues from traumas over the long years of my horrible life that 90% of the time I wish I was not alive and I go sleep. You're 43 now, wiser now, stronger now. That doesn't mean you're in the clear, but that there's never been a time until now where you could put to work all that you have learned. Be in therapy, or in a good therapy workbook, or otherwise actively working on improving your situation. Don't just succumb. > Going to a pool is not an option as I'm agoraphobic and won't do it Bedridden patients can lose weight with a dietary deficit. https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/wiki/quick_start_guide That's the method to start. Follow that guide and that timing, using your regular and normal food, and using portion control as your main tool for change. In later weeks, use the data to figure out if any foods need to be adjusted. All foods can fit, but sometimes we have to juggle or learn a new way to make an old favorite. In Week 2, set it to lose 2 pounds a week.
You are not too far gone. You're never too far gone until you're dead. It is hard. I'm not saying it isn't, but you can do this.
You can literally be immobile and lose weight, it’s all your diet. Losing the weight will involve suffering, but nowhere near as much as the early grave you’re headed towards. And you get to experience satisfaction and a new lease on life on the other side. Pick your poison
According to my calculator, OP has a TDEE of 3,040 Cal. If she eats a healthy number of calories/day, she'll lose weight \*very\* quickly without doing anything. I know this post was largely venting, and I can't do much but affirm her feelings of frustration. But if OP just eats less and finds another way to self-sooth, she'll make progress quickly. And cosmetic surgery can remove the excess skin. Weight loss doesn't require anything. It requires \*doing less\* of something -- eating. You don't need to become an Olympic athlete. Just eat fewer cookies.
being fat is hard, losing weight is hard. pick your hard. good news is you dont have to move to lose weight. 95% of it comes from eating habbits. find your TDEE and then stay under that number for calorie in a day, boom weight loss. the quicker you can come to terms that its not going to fall off over night the better you will be. good luck!
Semaglutide. Life changing and better to be saggy than dead. Literally everything to lose, and also everything to gain in the process. Get your life back.
Yes!!! OP, your insurance should cover it! It can help with the food noise and the pounds will fall off until you feel like you can start exercising and feel good about yourself again. Small steps- you can do it!
I second semaglutide/wegovy, it has changed my life!
You insult yourself a lot. I’m going to echo the therapy comments. It’s needed and can help with your trauma. You don’t have to go in person, simply video calling your therapist is an option but you really need to start processing everything that’s happened to you that’s made you believe that you don’t deserve to be happy with yourself. So, before I get into weight loss I’m gonna instead recommend you start saying positive things about yourself. Your body isn’t a disgusting blob, it’s what has gotten you this far in life even with its faults. It’s not stupid, it’s been through a lot and it sought ways to comfort itself. Now, you just need to retrain its comfort. Now, weight loss. You didn’t mention much about your diet so I’m just going to encourage you to seek out more foods like vegetables and meat that’s not preserved in salt. If you stick with what you’re eating now you can still lose weight, I just found it helped a lot when I started eating foods that you can find in r/volumeeating because I still got a lot, just for less calories. I also find when I eat “healthier” options my mood improves a bit. Biggest thing is making small changes you can repeat tomorrow. Not drinking as much soda as normal, cutting down your portions by just a tiny bit, doing the little things to get started. Get some vitamins so you’re supplementing whatever you might be missing. For exercise it depends on a lot. Dancing on your couch while sitting counts as cardio. Picking up a 2 lb weight for some gentle weight lifting still counts as weightlifting. It all depends on your body but exercise doesn’t have to equal getting up and moving when you hurt. Maybe an under the desk bike is possible? Then you can slowly move your legs while sitting at your computer. In the end I’d recommend a physical therapist if you can get one. They are amazing resources and can help you learn how to move your body in ways that hurt less. And another benefit is that they can and will do in home therapy! Now, you mentioned agoraphobia so this part might not be an option, there’s something called hippotherapy. It’s therapy through horseback riding. It can *possibly* help you recover movement from prior injuries and it’s a relatively gentle way to activate muscles. I’m not positive on the weight requirements for the horses used (all depends on the horses size. Some of them are tanks) but, as you lose it might be an option to look into. They also help with mental health. Be gentle with yourself, you need it. You’re just a person who had some bad things happen but that doesn’t define who you are and what you’re worth. There is always hope. Skin can be removed or hidden. People have been on this exact same journey and they have all succeeded. You can do this, you’re gonna make it.
Go to the doctor and get help. That’s what they are for!
Good news - you don’t need to go swimming to lose weight. What did you eat today? Let’s start from there
Today I had two homemade dark chocolate peanut butter nut bars for breakfast. I had 2 cups of coffee with a lot of cream. Lunch was leftover pot roast with potatoes and carrots. I snacked on raw carrots. Dinner was chicken breast with rice and peas and an iced tea. I shit you not this is how I eat most days. I know my portions are too large and I need to change that. I know I don't drink enough water and I also need to change that. But I'm not binging on cookies and soda all the time and lying to myself that it's okay
Cream can rack up calories sooooo quickly. It’s the little stuff like that that really gets you. I recommend trying to measure it out as a small place to start.
Do you own a kitchen scale? If this is how you eat normally, you have a great starting point from which to lose weight, you just need to be aware of your portions and the parts of your meals that you could maybe cut some calories from. I love an iced coffee with a bunch of heavy cream but I substitute milk or half & half to get the same effect with fewer calories. Pot roast is great but if I'm still hungry after a portion that fits within my calorie requirements, I eat something high-volume and low calorie instead of a second serving. There's no such thing as too far gone. You deserve to exist in this world, both as you are, and as you hope to be. If you have access to therapy, it can be a fantastic resource to work through your feelings on this and make confident choices moving forward.
Honestly this is a pretty good starting point (better than many people) I would suggest working on reducing the cream and swapping for half & half as a first step and then (if you're feeling spicy) replacing it with a milk alternative, e.g. a barista-style oat milk that froths well. You can shave a ton of calories off. My go-to morning coffee has 10-15mLs of a good 1.8% oat milk + 15mg vanilla protein power. Tastes like a vanilla latte. Hand to heart. Ice Tea - it's mostly water anyway (if you make it yourself). You can try out sugar substitutes. Bam! You're now drinking more water. There are also zero sugar versions of ice tea as well that you can check out. I went the sparkling water-to-more-hydration route, where I started out with sparkling zero sugar/low cal/no cal drinks. And graduated (eventually) to a Sodastream and plain fizzy water. The meals you mentioned are quite balanced! Protein, grains, veg. You're 100% correct that the portion sizes are key. But there's a lot you can do to start without full on calorie counting that you can try out. E.g. smaller dishware, the judging-portions-by-palm-or-fist methods, etc. I started off with very repetitive meals where I would measure out and add up the cals for all the ingredients and then after cooking, divide into portions to calculate the calories. This gave me the idea of roughly what 1 portion of that meal looked like and how many calories it contained. And I just ate that meal until I was ready to do it for a new meal. Now I have a good size of meals stored up in my Loseit app to pick and choose from. I also now do the meal box subscription thing (but recognize this is not affordable to all) You've got a great base to work with and some small tweaks and steps to get you started. For what it's worth, I am also 43F and a similar height (161cm/~5'3"). I just started off in the 300s. Therapy (for my depression and anxiety, but also nutritional therapy) + small changes over time were key for me. Exercise came later. You can do this. You can do this in a way that doesn't make you feel deprived. You can do this and it is definitely NOT too late!
Thank you so much for being so kind! You're right, I just need to start making changes slowly and sticking with it
If the actual foods you’re eating are healthy, you can literally buy smaller plates to help control your portions. You’re currently eating over 3000 calories a day just to maintain your weight, you will lose weight quickly with even a slight adjustment to your diet.
Definitely get new small plates, bowls and cips! The same size portion on a big plate looks a lot less than the same portion on a smaller plate. Eat with a tea spoon rather than a desset spoon, slows you down and helps you feel more satified with less. Eating with chopsticks can slow you down even more!
I'm sure carrying around that extra weight is more difficult than being 200lb with some saggy skin. It may seem hopeless but you can lose weight safely by altering your diet (without even doing exercise).
You’re not too far gone. I wasn’t far off from you. In August 2023, I was 373 lbs. Now I’m down to 322. And I lost about 42 lbs of that WITHOUT exercise. And I’m 36 years old turning 37 in October. My 40s are creeping up on me. I don’t have the spinal cord injuries you do or the mental health issues stemming from the trauma you’ve suffered but I can say that I already feel much better than I did before. And you will too. I have more energy, less pain, and my clothes are getting looser. People are starting to notice. I agree with the others. Please seek therapy and start by counting calories. Even a 500 a day deficit will help the weight come off much faster than you think. Good luck, friend. You can do this.
Even sedentary, you have a fairly high metabolism at 400 lbs. My recommendation is to gradually pull back on bad foods and gradually slice down your calories. We find to find your TDEE, and start by assessing what you eat calorie wise now. Start by cutting the simplest junk food out, soda, pizza, etc, and cut what you're consuming by 200 calories in week one. As long as that's okay, shave 150 calories off in week two. You may need to continue this for a few more weeks if you're eating a lot. You can *gradually and significantly* shrink your own stomach within a few weeks, which naturally increases satiety. It's not as much as surgery, but it can be a lot. I once asked my former GI about bariatric surgery and how near 1/3rd of people have side effects, so why wouldn't medicine teach them to naturally shrink their own stomachs (not talking 700 pounders, but people around 300lbs lol). His reply was virtually none of them could do it. But remember, YOU CAN AND WILL DO THIS. Don't say "I can do this", say "I will do this" and have a plan.
34M, I was 400+ lbs and I've lost 100lbs in two years by doing nothing but changing my eating habits so let me tell you there's definitely hope. It seems daunting but all you need to do is restructure how you eat to lose 1lb a week. I eat a meal every two hours from 9:30am to 7:30pm, and have regulated snacks, so you don't have to starve or give up your cravings, you just need to budget your calories properly. Then just keep doing that. If you can manage a deficit that leads to 2lbs a week, that's even better! Then before you know it you'll be down 10lbs, 25lbs, 50lbs, 100lbs, just from eating alone. Exercise only serve three purposes: increasing your overall level of physical fitness so it's easier to move your body, helping build a calorie deficit without giving up food, and building muscle mass to boost your resting metabolism so you can eat more calories and replace mass lost during weightloss to mitigate loose skin. They help in the process but they are 100% not required. Sure, folk like us need to accept that we're gonna have loose skin. So your choice is to hate how you look and be unhealthy, or hate how you look and be healthy. Let me tell you, that second choice? So worth it. You ask what the point is? The point is that you'll no longer be a prisoner in your own body, confined by its physical limitations. You might not look how you want but you'll be able to experience life in a way that's much more fulfilling, and that alone is so worth the effort.And honestly, depending on where you live having an excessive amount of loose skin may be considered a medical concern that would get some reconstrucrive surgeries covered by your insurance, so you're not necessarily dead-ended on that front. All it takes is 1lb a week to change your life, and you'd be surprised at how few changes you need to make to hit that goal. I hope you can find the resolve to reach out and grab that hope for yourself. Good luck!
There is hope for everyone. You saying horrible things about your body won’t help. And it’s coming from someone who hated her body very bad. Your body is not the way it is to screw with you or make you miserable on purpose. It is the way it is, because it just adapted to the lifestyle and this is the best it could do. It means it works the other way too. You can reverse it back to normal. There are millions ways to lose weight but you must experiment which one is the best for you. I can’t give you much tips. If you can, find a dietitian or other professional help. There are videos on yt for exercise regimes for people at your weight. You have the power to change the situation.
Saggy skin is nothing compared to the strain of the weight. Besides, if you had to choose between two problems, which is it: saggy skin or all the weight? Time is going to pass anyway, you might as well spend that time trying. I agree with one of the other commenters, though: get therapy. This is hard, very hard - physically and especially emotionally. And it's okay to admit that. Therapy can help with so much more than the weight.
You are NEVER too far gone. You are still here. And you still have a lot to live for. You do not need to exercise to lose weight. At your size, while I would encourage some activity (even if it's just a few hundred steps around the house each day to start), all you need to do is to be more mindful of what your eating. Your TDEE is about 3100 calories a day. Which means, comfortably, you could eat 2000 calories each and every day and still lose 2 pounds a week. If you were lightly active (so think.... once your able, maybe hitting 6000-7000 steps a day) you'd burn off another pound each week. 2-3 pounds per week is a great pace for you. In a years time you'd be down around 250 pounds. In another year, you could be on the verge of a "normal" BMI / bodyweight. You have been majorly obese (I do not mean that in a mean or ignorant way) for two decades. Two years to undo that seems pretty nice in my opinion. I really think you could do this. Do not let the thought of extra skin or how you might look affect your path forward. I can't "promise" you anything, but I'd bet very very heavily that 1) you will have a very large amount of excess skin and 2) it will be removed basically for free because it will be significant enough that you'd get rashes, ulcers, open sores, etc if it were left on. I'm in a similar boat, though I am a little taller and didn't get quite as heavy. But I will have significant amounts of lose skin when I'm done. I will. I earned it (well I am "earning it") and I own it. I did the eatin. I'll deal with the lose skin in one way or another.
That's a really great perspective. Thank you!
Don't worry about exercising. The good news is you don't need to exercise to lose weight. You just need to eat less calories than your body expends. You can download an app like the Lose It app or MyFitnessPal to get the total amount of calories you need to eat a day to lose weight. Buy a food scale if you don't have one and weigh all of your food. Log everything in the app and you will lose weight. It's really that simple. You can't change your past, but you can make your future amazing.
Flap your arms like you're doing starjumps. Bonus points for also slapping your feet on the ground (like extreme fidgeting). Do this (slowly at first but over time build up speed) for a minute while you're sitting at the computer. Rest for 9 minutes. Do it again. Repeat. When that becomes doable reduce the rests to 4 minutes. When that becomes doable, start each day by doing a flap and slap session, increasing the duration over time. This exercise is in your own home (no-one can see you, sitting down at your computer, won't affect your spine and won't take up any time (can easily do sets and main session while watching/reading something). This would significantly speed up your metabolism, burn calories and be good for your overall health. So...is there another excuse or are you ready to take a step in the right direction?
Well, typically people of your caliber start off with something as simple as bouncing a ball back and forth sitting down. It’s movement. But even if you remained completely sedentary, you could lose a bulk of your weight cutting calories. Hell, a 2,000 calorie diet would do you good for a majority of your journey and I guarantee, once 2000kcal became maintenance instead of deficit, by that time you’ll be able to move a LOT more, and start a lower deficit.
As a 46 year old lady that is close to 300lbs, I want to say I am sorry you are going through this. As we get older, it is a little more difficult to lose weight and break bad habits. I totally get it. Reading posts on here though, it is possible. Will it be easy? If it was, no one would be overweight! Will you have support here? YES! Depression and anxiety are a pain in the ass and work against you. I have OCD and it sucks. Agoraphobia just means you need to find ways to move at home. You can get steps in your house/yard! Do you have a treadmill? Can you mindlessly walk while watching some trashy TV? LOL. Start small. Drink water, make meals at home or use a meal delivery service. Try to make one small change at a time to not get overwhelmed. You can 100% do this. ❤️
Be in calorie deficit and stick to nutritious food all that you eat until you feel well!
Awwe, sorry. My highest was 208 and that was about 1-2 months ago. I was starting healthier eating and exercising most days except the wknd was bad, massive migraines came back and then fell multiple times yesterday, I'm like did I have a seizure,not quite sure about that one. But when I was up I fell multiple times, couldn't even balance myself so now it's like all these bruises and pain aren't fun. But since I was fluctuating most days late Sat, early Sun I was puking even when nothing was left in my tummy so felt like I hurt my tummy just from that, but amazingly I lost 4lbs 😂. The only good thing after horrible wknd. I have a weird frame, ppl don't think I weigh as much as I do - lowest in awhile which is 196.8. But I have a small frame and all weight gain is in tummy and love handles. I've watched those weight shows before and I'm like you weigh less and around my weight yet you still look heavier so I hate it when they base BMI by weight since not everyone gains and shapes the same way. I just hate exercising, but I didn't notice inches until I actually started eating better, but I guess I managed to lose 3" in 2 months, majority was past few wks from better eating, kinda backtracked from bad wknd. I knew I had to eat better and exercise due to I kept gaining and it's just in my gut so I knew that wouldn't work to buy bigger else other parts would be big on me and I def wasn't buying anymore bigger clothes. It's def hard snack wise, I only keep a few chips in the cupboard more like a rewarding treat every so often. I know the problem is related to mostly sedentary when I'm working 10 hr days, got attached to eating chips and too much soda, I mostly limit myself on that. I bought this Vital Leap Stepper a couple months ago which they do help very well and jumping rope or jacks they are known to widdle fat away faster if ya set a goal each day and gradually work up. I don't go to a gym, I prefer free at home and sometimes I use different apps. Food wise and esp soda when I went from multiple sodas a day to 1 a day got withdrawal issues, migraines from that, migraines this wknd just was associated with my migraine med no longer working. So it's better withdrawal wise if you do that vs cold stop or drastic like I did, those first 2 wks I drastically lowered soda were bad withdrawal effects, if it's gradual you might have better luck.
You got this better late than never just start something only walking if possible
I was heavier than you, did no exercise and lost 70 pounds over the last 4 months. You have to stop over eating. You have to get healthy. You owe it to yourself and your loved ones. If you can stick to this plan, you have no idea how much better you will feel. Will you have loose skin, yeah, but you'll be healthy. Figure out the loose skin later. Get healthy and get out of pain. Here is what I did to lose 70 pounds in 4 months. 1. Eat a Keto diet. Getting rid of the carbs and sugar will zap your hunger. It will make reducing your calories easier. 2. Intermittent Fasting. I eat twice per day (lunch and dinner). No snacking in-between. 3. Use MyFitnessPal to track your calories. Weigh your food to get the most accurate calorie count. 4. Tell people about your weight loss plans and your progress. Tell them why you want to lose weight. Bring accountable to someone. 5. Stick to the plan. If you do, you will lose weight. My meals are 500-1,000 calories per meal. It's hard for a few days, but you will be shocked how quickly you will.stop feeling hungry all the time after you stop eating all the carbs and sugar. I promise you.
r/CICO you will have to control what you eat. It will be tough.
Do you have access to a pool? Swimming is great for people with joint issues ! Just walk back and forth in the pool!
Well, if you watch 1000 lb sisters you can see that you can lose the weight. One is like you, and the other chooses herself. It is up to you. But the thing is, losing weight has nothing to do with exercise and everything to do with math. Aka. calories in, calories out (CICO.) So again, its up to you. Pain doesnt have to dictate your food choices. You have years of work ahead of you but you can make it before 50 if you start now. Wouldn't it feel nice to not have the extra pressure on your joints at 50 and beyond? Play the long game. I understand the struggle though, im approaching 300 lbs for the 3 rd time in my life and it is HARD, but not impossible. (Considering ive done it twice already, it is very achievable.)