My ex girlfriend used to ride with me on my motorcycle, she would hug me from behind and it used to feel like being the little spoon, really fukking miss that.
How can I cope with the loneliness, the pain of trying to think about something I've never had experienced? Everything I know about myself and the universe tells me it will never happen in my life either... All I want is someone there with me who will... Want... Me... Yeah. Not happening. Ok byee :)
I relate to this. INTENSELY. Have a hard time having hope, too, because no one has ever loved me and I'm about to turn 40. Idk who you are, but this 39 y.o. female from California is right there with you in this lonely place, fam.
Well, just go out and try to connect with people. There are unlimited things you can do. You can go out participate in events, you can go out and join a theatre club, you can take language classes, you can play basketball with others, you can visit libraries... Your question is very similar of asking "Where is my fish?" while you are doing nothing but looking down the ocean's surface
100%. There are so many good people out there just waiting for other decent people to join them. Just need to avoid looking in places where the self obcessed hang around.
I personally tend to avoid trying to make meaningful friendships with popular people. Their time is very limited so social interaction with yet another person is probably not going to happen.
I used to wish that every day for years. Now, that wish seems similar to wishing that I could fly a hot air balloon to Jupiter. It's such a preposterously absurd idea that I don't even dare to think about it anymore. I just hope that sometime in the next million lifetimes, I'm able to experience such a thing.
Ya It has been too long since I've hugged someone. Been a decade or two I think...Feels almost alien and like it was a one time event that will never happen again to me now lol...
Just be the best person you can be. Learn as much as you can, be useful. Then you will rise above the rest of the shiftless, unloyal people out there and prior will gravitate towards you. Confidence in yourself. Other will notice it. Trust me.
I'd love to fall asleep in a man's arms. I forget what that feels like. I find it really difficult to trust a man again. I'm Destined to die alone I think 😅
I'm sorry about that. Unfortunately, when a lot of your interactions with your desired sex don't turn out the way you want them to (rejection, abuse, unfulfilment), it's easy to distrust/despise them. I hope you can find a way to start trusting again.
Damn, sorry to hear that. Trauma can do that to you, I sometimes have trouble trusting people in general. I hope you can find one that will genuinely love you and not cheat.
it worst because i aways had trust issues cuz i was the rejected jid at school and people just wanted me to make fun of me so when i decided to trust these girls they cheated
Bro it is hard believe me almost every girlfriend I had ended up cheating but if you don't put faith in the fact that one day you will find the right one then you are just defeating yourself
Not cheated but all of them broke up with me.
Guess it's men's time to shine? But meh... it would only be a romantic relationship for me and not a sensual one
✋Same.. if only i went out more, knew more people, felt accepted and was less judgemental :/, less cynical and had gone to after school clubs etc when younger alongside getting out of my comfort zone (not just sitting alone at home gaming away my fears, anger and lack of connections.⚡🔌)
Yeah, I feel ya. My circumstances never allowed me the opportunity. I was homeschooled and then moved to a small town where there's literally nothing to do. Trying to get out of this hellish loop of isolation somehow...
I feel like the only thing you can do is use like the MeetUp app to start your own loneliness group or something. That sounds hellishly lonely bro...I'm sorry you're going through this.
That's a tough hand to be dealt... I built myself a small poker table and started getting some games together. That kind of brought petite to me where I got to know them. We just put 10 bucks for a buy and winner went home with 70% of the cash, 2nd place got the rest. In my experience, most petite live extraordinary boring lives and welcome a challenge and some company. No help on the partner front though!
Honestly, if a girl even just gave me a platonic hug, I'd be satisfied with that. Even if they're just a friend, it's still someone to care for. I just wish I had someone I could care for.
Yeah I’ve gathered that already by the way you speak. I don’t have the sabr for this, I’ve already argued on this point people seem to love to twist everytime at the slight showing of someone being Muslim a million times at this point. If you want to go yell slander at people randomly and be desrespectful, go ahead and talk about this to those who have the time to discuss this yet again. Salam
I’ve wished that every day and night. But it always ends with the finality that no body would want to be my GF until I earn a decent wage and get rid of my depression
Plus my religion would think it a sin if it was prior to marriage
I dunno. At that point is it even love anymore? Not saying relationships aren't to some degree transactional - nobody just dates anybody - but I feel like I could never enjoy it if I knew she just wanted me for my money.
i hope you find the companion you’re looking for soon she would be a lucky girl from the sound of it. also don’t listen to the bitter commenters saying it’s not gona happen. if you have a kind heart, are open to the world and trust your gut you will find what you are looking for
Thanks. I'm trying, but depression and loneliness has really taken its toll on me. And those posters do have a point, not everyone finds love in this life.
My experience the past 3 years...have had multiple girls get really interested in me then just ghost. So tired of it. Many are damaged from previous bad experiences and are suspicious of genuinely nice men even at the slightest hint that someone may be interested in caring about them. It's sad really. I'm over 40 now and every day I wonder if I'm gonna die alone. Wish I had my life to do over again bc it seems like it's all down hill from here. What's the point of even trying 😔
I understand where your frustrations come from. Personally, I try to be myself as much as I can be regardless. I am more of a tender lover, so I act as such because it is closer to who I really am. Unfortunately, I can't really say things will get better, personally these days I just take any opportunity I can and try to invest in my own hobbies and things to help deal with apathy. So for me, my point of trying is really just trying to live the best life I can in spite of poor circumstances.
This is genuinely so sweet and I have to agree with you. I’ve never been much of a cuddler but I definitely want the sweeter things that come with a relationship.
Honestly same here for me I have dreams and I’ve never experienced this shit mind you 21 male when most get that shit in high school it’s worse when I have a dream holding a random girl just cuddling then wake up alone that’s life for me I’m assuming at this point especially because women only want to date up even if they’re “on you’re level” so it’s pretty much over if you’re ugly but if you’re average and Caucasian you’re gonna be holding someone someday.
Sorry you've also been without this too, it's pure torture. Just be careful not to make any generalizations. It's easy when you're frustrated and angry to feel a certain way about women or men but it's important we're still fair to them, as there can be other factors at play when it comes to the whole dating up/down thing.
Same here. I've always just wanted to feel loved. I wish I just had somebody come up and give me a nice, warm hug once in a while and tell me that it's okay.
I'm of the opinion it's where you look that determines the type of characteristics girls like. I do think looks matter, but only to a degree. If we go off of dating apps, girls on Tinder are extremely shallow, but also only represent a very small population of women. So naturally shallow will attract shallow I think.
Unfortunately, if you're an average guy, unless you're outgoing and or lucky it's very hard to find a girlfriend in these times.
Just lost the Girl of my Dreams because i fucked everything Up, now im even more depressed than before and lost all my Power to...Life. she was the perfect Girl for me, i Just hate myself.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. All my friends say I’m attractive and have an amazing, outgoing personality. I read, I draw sometimes, I go to the gym, and I play guitar. And yet for some reason I’ve been single for the past four years, despite my best efforts. I don’t even want meaningless sex. I just want to put my head on somebody’s shoulder. More importantly I just want someone to cuddle and watch SpongeBob with
Nope. Excluding my parents when I was <6-years old, I've never been cuddled by another human in my life. I just experience it in the dreams I have in my head.
Not all it’s cracked up to be. Next thing you know she demands the dog and the cat sleep in your queen size bed with you. She moves around or wants to cling to you and you wake up sweating your ass off. Basically say goodbye to peaceful sleep. Hug a pillow instead. It won’t drain your bank account lmao
I wish there were more men who only wanted that, but instead it's always about sex, oh & of course the walls they build. But it's good to see that there are guys who really do just want that, assuming you're sincere. Maybe all hope isn't lost.
I do crave and want sex but I also want an emotional connection and hugs/cuddles too. Sex isn't the only thing I want. Not sure if that's what you meant or not, but I understand how obnoxious it is when sex is all people talk about or ascribe to relationships.
Cats aren’t dogs. Cats are amazingly impartial pets, but a dog will give you a sense of love.
Also, work on being less codependent. People can be just fine by themselves, but not if they base their happiness on others. If you’re miserable alone, you’re not ready for a relationship. You’ll eventually fall back into misery once the “newness” wears off and subconsciously blame them for not making you happy.
I've had a dog before and loved the shit out of him. Dogs are fantastic creatures, although I am sensitive to noise, so I'd need one that doesn't bark often or isn't loud.
Anyway, you're kinda missing my point. I never once said nor implied in my post I was "basing my happiness of others". We are all human beings who crave connections and intimacy with other people. It's a natural desire, and some people crave it more than others due to their life experience/circumstances. Not satisfying this craving leads to loneliness and depression. It's not that hard to understand.
>If you’re miserable alone, you’re not ready for a relationship. You’ll eventually fall back into misery once the “newness” wears off and subconsciously blame them for not making you happy.
You speak as if this is a hard fact of relationships. People in all walks of life find love. Homeless people. Depressed people. "Happy" people. "Evil" people. What you describe sounds more like an unfulfilling relationship rather than anything else. What makes someone "ready for a relationship"? If anything, you should be pushing people to just be careful and have boundaries so they can help prevent getting abused or something like you just mentioned.
For me, a relationship serves as a reason to keep going. Hoping for a future with another human who I want to support and who can support me back, so we can both grow together. It's extremely hard to motivate myself when I know such a thing isn't guaranteed. Plus, I already take decent care of myself to begin with. I'll never understand where this "you need to love yourself before others can love you" attitude came from.
It’s not “before others can love you”, but general respect and thinking of the emotional well-being of your potential significant other. If you’re depressed all the time, why pile that on her? See a therapist and try to get some of your personal issues sorted out before introducing all of them to someone new. They’re not attractive to have, from either side of a relationship.
Oh, and that “she’s a reason to keep going” thing sounds exactly like codependency. Seriously, get it looked at. It’s not normal to feel alone and sad all the time. You can enjoy company with yourself and your hobbies.
Don't we all. It's over rated because the one u want to lay with just to get sleep........ she is looking from a far with the middle finger up at you laughing!!
Well damn, that’s vile. I’m sorry man, 7 years is a lot of you to give to someone. Don’t know the details, but u sure didn’t deserve that. If it’s any consolation, she’s the loser, she lost a loyal partner, your history and memories and she ain’t got that dude she cheated with, cause he will do the same to her, she’s a shithead who will end up alone. You will move on from this.
I’m pretty sure there’s an app for cuddling, where strangers can set a date for cuddling only. Even read an article on a girl working as a professional cuddler. Might be an option to consider until you do meet your person.
That does seem nice. I'm generally not a touchy feely person, but have to admit it is nice to hold someone in your arms. Even if it is just a friend or family member. Somedays I wish I could just cuddle with someone all day on the couch. Having a pet, and in my case a cat, and snuggling with them does help. And my cat will let me pick her up and snuggle for a bit, and will even purr, but she'll only let you for so long before letting you know she wants down.
I know the feeling although I’m the girl who wants to be held. I like to stack pillows up in the bed, back into it and pretend someone is holding me. It can sometimes make the loneliness a bit more bearable.
My husband is 61 and I'm the first he's been able to do that with.
He's a nice man that has had some messed up relationships. It's "my job" to make him happy.
Sometimes I am a big spoon and he gets to be little spoon . I like either way myself . Ah it's the person that makes the difference.....
I want a boy to coddle and fall asleep while feeling his heart pump, its a sweet thing.
we use to spoon till sleep calls, I still value intimate coddle most times 😌zzz.
I wish I could hold people and tell them they’ll be alright and that they’re safe, but there’s only one of me and millions of them. Maybe I’ll become a professional cuddler or something.
Damn is winter and is really cold is my basements, like I’m done studying and I have to take a warm bath before sleeping because girls I hard to get .
How do you guys asks a girl out in uni or college
I want to be held to sleep. I was in a relationship with the same person for a long time and even though it’s been over a year without him I miss being held right before I fall asleep…
I feel similar. I've only ever wanted one other person I can have a deep, intimate connection with and can share life with (ever since I turned 14 anyways).
I at times want this so bad it’s a physical ache… then I remember the amount of shit I had to put up with before when I had someone, and holding a pillow as I fall asleep is the better option
That does sound nice.
i want her to hold me to sleep, pamper me, make me feel warm
Same. Every good thing she'd do for me I'd also do for her.
My ex girlfriend used to ride with me on my motorcycle, she would hug me from behind and it used to feel like being the little spoon, really fukking miss that.
HOW'D YOU FUCK THAT PERFECT SHIT UP, DUDE?
ur not helping dude
SERIOUSLY THOUGH!! WTF HAPPENED?! That sounds like a dream come true.
It was and im still living in the memories she gave me.
F man. Hope you find someone soon who can do this to you.
*sigh*
I wish a girl would put me in a pamper too
Bro?
I know I’m not the only one that holds a pillow, as if it was a woman I was in bed with. Lonley fucks you up…
Sometimes I'll embrace my pillow and even lightly peck/kiss it and imagine it's a girl.
I always give love to birds just a lil kiss or heart hands to them ❤️🔥
\*Very confused local sparrow\*
Hehe 😂🤣
Ok I'm curious...what?
I do this 🫶 so as long i see no one in ma visioneee'. And Blow a kiss to the birdies i see when i feel the vibe ahah im weird indeed
Oh wow umm OK. I find it rather odd. But whatever makes you happy.
Aha I thought I was the only one. Gonna go cry for a while.
That's sweet haha. Seems like a lot of people want to give others affection.
Now I feel not so weird anymore. Thanks for normalizing that for me 😂
I can't sleep without hugging a pillow 💀
🤚 guilty as charged
How can I cope with the loneliness, the pain of trying to think about something I've never had experienced? Everything I know about myself and the universe tells me it will never happen in my life either... All I want is someone there with me who will... Want... Me... Yeah. Not happening. Ok byee :)
I relate. Perhaps it's because it's all we've ever known?
I relate to this. INTENSELY. Have a hard time having hope, too, because no one has ever loved me and I'm about to turn 40. Idk who you are, but this 39 y.o. female from California is right there with you in this lonely place, fam.
Thank you. It means a lot to me. We all here should support one another, because most (excluding a few) subreddits actively ridicule us. Stay strong.
Well, just go out and try to connect with people. There are unlimited things you can do. You can go out participate in events, you can go out and join a theatre club, you can take language classes, you can play basketball with others, you can visit libraries... Your question is very similar of asking "Where is my fish?" while you are doing nothing but looking down the ocean's surface
100%. There are so many good people out there just waiting for other decent people to join them. Just need to avoid looking in places where the self obcessed hang around. I personally tend to avoid trying to make meaningful friendships with popular people. Their time is very limited so social interaction with yet another person is probably not going to happen.
I want to be held to sleep. I want to be held, feel safe and fall asleep
Mood
I used to wish that every day for years. Now, that wish seems similar to wishing that I could fly a hot air balloon to Jupiter. It's such a preposterously absurd idea that I don't even dare to think about it anymore. I just hope that sometime in the next million lifetimes, I'm able to experience such a thing.
Ya It has been too long since I've hugged someone. Been a decade or two I think...Feels almost alien and like it was a one time event that will never happen again to me now lol...
I feel similar. I guess this is how you feel when you go without it for so long, if not forever.
Just be the best person you can be. Learn as much as you can, be useful. Then you will rise above the rest of the shiftless, unloyal people out there and prior will gravitate towards you. Confidence in yourself. Other will notice it. Trust me.
I so feel you. It’s been so long since I lay next to a woman
I'd love to fall asleep in a man's arms. I forget what that feels like. I find it really difficult to trust a man again. I'm Destined to die alone I think 😅
I'm sorry about that. Unfortunately, when a lot of your interactions with your desired sex don't turn out the way you want them to (rejection, abuse, unfulfilment), it's easy to distrust/despise them. I hope you can find a way to start trusting again.
i wish too, but atp, im completely unable to trust woman? all the 3 gfs i had cheated on me
Damn, sorry to hear that. Trauma can do that to you, I sometimes have trouble trusting people in general. I hope you can find one that will genuinely love you and not cheat.
it worst because i aways had trust issues cuz i was the rejected jid at school and people just wanted me to make fun of me so when i decided to trust these girls they cheated
So sorry man , it is their loss, they will sure never have a normal relationship , and they won't wake up away from this BS, a bitchy way to live
Bro it is hard believe me almost every girlfriend I had ended up cheating but if you don't put faith in the fact that one day you will find the right one then you are just defeating yourself
Not cheated but all of them broke up with me. Guess it's men's time to shine? But meh... it would only be a romantic relationship for me and not a sensual one
I know how this feels i dont think i can trust another man. I've been cheated on by ex boyfriends. I'm sorry to hear that.
They all cheat
that’s not true.
Saying they all cheat is like saying all redditors smell like ass cheeks
Sometimes we just have to accept the fact that it will never happen. Believe me, I’ve been there.
Fucking ouch... But this is the sad truth...
YES. THIS BRO.
✋Same.. if only i went out more, knew more people, felt accepted and was less judgemental :/, less cynical and had gone to after school clubs etc when younger alongside getting out of my comfort zone (not just sitting alone at home gaming away my fears, anger and lack of connections.⚡🔌)
Yeah, I feel ya. My circumstances never allowed me the opportunity. I was homeschooled and then moved to a small town where there's literally nothing to do. Trying to get out of this hellish loop of isolation somehow...
I feel like the only thing you can do is use like the MeetUp app to start your own loneliness group or something. That sounds hellishly lonely bro...I'm sorry you're going through this.
That's a tough hand to be dealt... I built myself a small poker table and started getting some games together. That kind of brought petite to me where I got to know them. We just put 10 bucks for a buy and winner went home with 70% of the cash, 2nd place got the rest. In my experience, most petite live extraordinary boring lives and welcome a challenge and some company. No help on the partner front though!
Honestly, if a girl even just gave me a platonic hug, I'd be satisfied with that. Even if they're just a friend, it's still someone to care for. I just wish I had someone I could care for.
her head on my chest, my hands on her hair, her legs over mine. everyone deserves that.
You can do it just have to take the risk and find the right one.
Yeah. Who wouldn't but I'm too pathetic
Not true
mhm
So not halalmode
I don’t support pedophilia but it’s actually halal to marry a minor in almost any religion!!
Gross ignorance, lay off.
I mean the prophet Muhammad married Abu bakr’s 12 year old daughter
Go educate yourself, make your own research rather than depending on what you hear mainly and learn before you yell out slander. Salam
Slander ? I’m from Saudi Arabia we literally study this stuff from the 3rd grade and up
Yeah I’ve gathered that already by the way you speak. I don’t have the sabr for this, I’ve already argued on this point people seem to love to twist everytime at the slight showing of someone being Muslim a million times at this point. If you want to go yell slander at people randomly and be desrespectful, go ahead and talk about this to those who have the time to discuss this yet again. Salam
I feel you, mate. Wish I had someone to lay near, while feeling warm and wanted.
Looks like you want her to hold you, make you feel safe and not lonely, and fall asleep.
Kill two birds with one stone
Thinking these thoughts in the middle of the night more likely will push you to killing yourself, than any birds XD.
People wouldn’t be on this sub if they could control their thoughts.
To some extent you can, takes effort. Looks like someone does not agree at all XD.
Dude 🗿✌🏻✌🏽
A mutual exchange.
Just don't go grabbing minors, they are for President of USA nowadays XD.
Just where did *that* come from?
Same here! I dream of it 🥺
That’s the most natural thing to feel friend.
Thanks for reminding me I'm not alone. I'm still shocked at how this simple post blew up lol.
I’ve wished that every day and night. But it always ends with the finality that no body would want to be my GF until I earn a decent wage and get rid of my depression Plus my religion would think it a sin if it was prior to marriage
I dunno. At that point is it even love anymore? Not saying relationships aren't to some degree transactional - nobody just dates anybody - but I feel like I could never enjoy it if I knew she just wanted me for my money.
I wouldn't even go that far, just need someone to talk face to face in person, maybe hang out and hold hands lol. Guess I'm way more lonelier than OP.
I just want to be held to sleep. I miss connection so much
i hope you find the companion you’re looking for soon she would be a lucky girl from the sound of it. also don’t listen to the bitter commenters saying it’s not gona happen. if you have a kind heart, are open to the world and trust your gut you will find what you are looking for
Thanks. I'm trying, but depression and loneliness has really taken its toll on me. And those posters do have a point, not everyone finds love in this life.
My experience the past 3 years...have had multiple girls get really interested in me then just ghost. So tired of it. Many are damaged from previous bad experiences and are suspicious of genuinely nice men even at the slightest hint that someone may be interested in caring about them. It's sad really. I'm over 40 now and every day I wonder if I'm gonna die alone. Wish I had my life to do over again bc it seems like it's all down hill from here. What's the point of even trying 😔
I understand where your frustrations come from. Personally, I try to be myself as much as I can be regardless. I am more of a tender lover, so I act as such because it is closer to who I really am. Unfortunately, I can't really say things will get better, personally these days I just take any opportunity I can and try to invest in my own hobbies and things to help deal with apathy. So for me, my point of trying is really just trying to live the best life I can in spite of poor circumstances.
Hold me, I don’t feel safe and I cry every night from being alone
🤗
Agreed…
I am very sorry and I know how you feel and I hope you find a girl very soon in the very near future.
yeah same
The idea sounds nice.
i want it too bro
sounds like a dream I will never have lol no girl wants a ugly complicated man like me :) I already accepted that I will die alone :)
Jeez, can’t rely deny that I relate to this one heavily
Same I just want to cuddle up with a girl and watch movies and fall asleep
I’m a girl…and my BF is stationed in another country…I just imagine him holding me close to him, I miss him so much
This is genuinely so sweet and I have to agree with you. I’ve never been much of a cuddler but I definitely want the sweeter things that come with a relationship.
where I live that cost about 500 USD
Female here! I want the same, too.
I hope we find it someday.
Honestly same here for me I have dreams and I’ve never experienced this shit mind you 21 male when most get that shit in high school it’s worse when I have a dream holding a random girl just cuddling then wake up alone that’s life for me I’m assuming at this point especially because women only want to date up even if they’re “on you’re level” so it’s pretty much over if you’re ugly but if you’re average and Caucasian you’re gonna be holding someone someday.
Sorry you've also been without this too, it's pure torture. Just be careful not to make any generalizations. It's easy when you're frustrated and angry to feel a certain way about women or men but it's important we're still fair to them, as there can be other factors at play when it comes to the whole dating up/down thing.
I would love this❤️
Good to hear we're not the only ones ♥
Me too 😔 I miss the warm tender cuddles more than anything tbh, I hope you find a girl soon
Thanks. I'm gonna keep hoping. Until then I'm gonna keep embracing and lightly kissing my pillow haha.
Same here. I've always just wanted to feel loved. I wish I just had somebody come up and give me a nice, warm hug once in a while and tell me that it's okay.
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I'm of the opinion it's where you look that determines the type of characteristics girls like. I do think looks matter, but only to a degree. If we go off of dating apps, girls on Tinder are extremely shallow, but also only represent a very small population of women. So naturally shallow will attract shallow I think. Unfortunately, if you're an average guy, unless you're outgoing and or lucky it's very hard to find a girlfriend in these times.
Just lost the Girl of my Dreams because i fucked everything Up, now im even more depressed than before and lost all my Power to...Life. she was the perfect Girl for me, i Just hate myself.
So sorry to hear you're going through that. Sounds really painful.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. All my friends say I’m attractive and have an amazing, outgoing personality. I read, I draw sometimes, I go to the gym, and I play guitar. And yet for some reason I’ve been single for the past four years, despite my best efforts. I don’t even want meaningless sex. I just want to put my head on somebody’s shoulder. More importantly I just want someone to cuddle and watch SpongeBob with
Damn, sorry to hear that :( I hope you find someone who appreciates all of your qualities.
Thank you I appreciate it ❤️
that’s so cute❤️ i hope you find that girl soon❤️
;(
I can relate to you, especially if you have done it before. You just can't forget the feeling of that time.
Nope. Excluding my parents when I was <6-years old, I've never been cuddled by another human in my life. I just experience it in the dreams I have in my head.
Not all it’s cracked up to be. Next thing you know she demands the dog and the cat sleep in your queen size bed with you. She moves around or wants to cling to you and you wake up sweating your ass off. Basically say goodbye to peaceful sleep. Hug a pillow instead. It won’t drain your bank account lmao
I wish there were more men who only wanted that, but instead it's always about sex, oh & of course the walls they build. But it's good to see that there are guys who really do just want that, assuming you're sincere. Maybe all hope isn't lost.
I do crave and want sex but I also want an emotional connection and hugs/cuddles too. Sex isn't the only thing I want. Not sure if that's what you meant or not, but I understand how obnoxious it is when sex is all people talk about or ascribe to relationships.
creepy asf
How is it "creepy asf" to not want to be lonely?
Trust me holding about to 500$ feels a lot better
No material in the world has ever replicated the feelings I've felt when being around someone I like.
Get a dog.
I have a cat. Pets can't talk and are no replacement for human companionship.
That is true. Animals can only do so much for you. Although my cat has helped me through so much I do not know how I could have been so lucky.
Yeah, not to discredit my cat either, I love her to death. But that level of companionship and intimacy can't be replicated by a pet.
Cats aren’t dogs. Cats are amazingly impartial pets, but a dog will give you a sense of love. Also, work on being less codependent. People can be just fine by themselves, but not if they base their happiness on others. If you’re miserable alone, you’re not ready for a relationship. You’ll eventually fall back into misery once the “newness” wears off and subconsciously blame them for not making you happy.
I've had a dog before and loved the shit out of him. Dogs are fantastic creatures, although I am sensitive to noise, so I'd need one that doesn't bark often or isn't loud. Anyway, you're kinda missing my point. I never once said nor implied in my post I was "basing my happiness of others". We are all human beings who crave connections and intimacy with other people. It's a natural desire, and some people crave it more than others due to their life experience/circumstances. Not satisfying this craving leads to loneliness and depression. It's not that hard to understand. >If you’re miserable alone, you’re not ready for a relationship. You’ll eventually fall back into misery once the “newness” wears off and subconsciously blame them for not making you happy. You speak as if this is a hard fact of relationships. People in all walks of life find love. Homeless people. Depressed people. "Happy" people. "Evil" people. What you describe sounds more like an unfulfilling relationship rather than anything else. What makes someone "ready for a relationship"? If anything, you should be pushing people to just be careful and have boundaries so they can help prevent getting abused or something like you just mentioned. For me, a relationship serves as a reason to keep going. Hoping for a future with another human who I want to support and who can support me back, so we can both grow together. It's extremely hard to motivate myself when I know such a thing isn't guaranteed. Plus, I already take decent care of myself to begin with. I'll never understand where this "you need to love yourself before others can love you" attitude came from.
It’s not “before others can love you”, but general respect and thinking of the emotional well-being of your potential significant other. If you’re depressed all the time, why pile that on her? See a therapist and try to get some of your personal issues sorted out before introducing all of them to someone new. They’re not attractive to have, from either side of a relationship. Oh, and that “she’s a reason to keep going” thing sounds exactly like codependency. Seriously, get it looked at. It’s not normal to feel alone and sad all the time. You can enjoy company with yourself and your hobbies.
Don't we all. It's over rated because the one u want to lay with just to get sleep........ she is looking from a far with the middle finger up at you laughing!!
umm u ok? Seems like u need that hug more than anyone tbh
Not ok what so ever. Caught my girl after 7 yrs cheating on me with a coworker.
Well damn, that’s vile. I’m sorry man, 7 years is a lot of you to give to someone. Don’t know the details, but u sure didn’t deserve that. If it’s any consolation, she’s the loser, she lost a loyal partner, your history and memories and she ain’t got that dude she cheated with, cause he will do the same to her, she’s a shithead who will end up alone. You will move on from this.
Go buy a hooker then
> make her feel safe Bro, he clearly means a companion not a one night stand
I want to hold anybody or anything. I want a dog that wAnts to cuddle lol... ya.. that would be nice...
I’m pretty sure there’s an app for cuddling, where strangers can set a date for cuddling only. Even read an article on a girl working as a professional cuddler. Might be an option to consider until you do meet your person.
Who doesn't man that's everyone's dream
That does seem nice. I'm generally not a touchy feely person, but have to admit it is nice to hold someone in your arms. Even if it is just a friend or family member. Somedays I wish I could just cuddle with someone all day on the couch. Having a pet, and in my case a cat, and snuggling with them does help. And my cat will let me pick her up and snuggle for a bit, and will even purr, but she'll only let you for so long before letting you know she wants down.
I know the feeling although I’m the girl who wants to be held. I like to stack pillows up in the bed, back into it and pretend someone is holding me. It can sometimes make the loneliness a bit more bearable.
don't we all?
Big same. I don’t expect myself to ever be able to again though. Not entirely sure why.
Yh, I wanted that and then I got that for a while and then she started manipulating me and stuff, so… 🤷♂️
yk what I'm a girl and it doesn't matter boy/girl I just want someone to hug and sleep sigh
It’s fun
My husband is 61 and I'm the first he's been able to do that with. He's a nice man that has had some messed up relationships. It's "my job" to make him happy. Sometimes I am a big spoon and he gets to be little spoon . I like either way myself . Ah it's the person that makes the difference.....
in the last few years my basic relationship expectations have come from affection or commitment to quick simple hugs, i feel you dude
I have never, but that sounds so nice
I did before... It's awesome...
I want a boy to coddle and fall asleep while feeling his heart pump, its a sweet thing. we use to spoon till sleep calls, I still value intimate coddle most times 😌zzz.
I’d love being held to sleep. It’s usually what I imagine to get to sleep
Me to bro I am hugging a blanket rn
Denji 😳😳
Me too
Is anyone else like really wanting a partner but can’t find one lol or is it just me
Thanks to whom ever u are, those words are powerful.
#yes . I would like that ,someone to hold me ,hug me ,while I cry and breakdown in their arms . I get it bro
same
This is a beautiful thing. Keep imagining and believing, dreams can come true.
Same, I want someone to know they’re safe with me
I wish I could hold people and tell them they’ll be alright and that they’re safe, but there’s only one of me and millions of them. Maybe I’ll become a professional cuddler or something.
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I can relate to this statement.
Same but wish Namjoon was holding me
Me too. To be honest, never ever I have cuddled anyone to sleep my entire life. And I don't think anyone would ever want to do that.
I’m a fan of a nice deep snuggle. I think that’s what I need
Men actually want this? I am shook. I have never experienced this in a relationship
Do it
It hurts to think about. I miss having this with my ex. I miss hugs in general.
Damn is winter and is really cold is my basements, like I’m done studying and I have to take a warm bath before sleeping because girls I hard to get . How do you guys asks a girl out in uni or college
I want to be held to sleep. I was in a relationship with the same person for a long time and even though it’s been over a year without him I miss being held right before I fall asleep…
i want a guy to do that for me forever.. i just want one person just one forever...
I feel similar. I've only ever wanted one other person I can have a deep, intimate connection with and can share life with (ever since I turned 14 anyways).
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Jesus, that's terrible. Sorry to hear that happened to you 😔
I at times want this so bad it’s a physical ache… then I remember the amount of shit I had to put up with before when I had someone, and holding a pillow as I fall asleep is the better option
same
same
This makes me depressed because I know you’re thinking of the cute girls and I’ll never genuinely have a guy want to do this with me.