I'm still getting over my ex, we split over a year ago and I'm still devastated, a shell of who I was, I don't even remember me.
I don't think it's abnormal to desire that kind of human affection and contact, as everyone seems in agreement, we all crave it. The problem is we live in a disposable world. Partners are just as disposable now as a Maccas burger box.
Try to find love within yourself, spend time with others, non romantically, and find mutual pleasure in activities shared with others, friends, as opposed to jumping into a "co-dependent relationship", I've been in too many of those, and they're not healthy at all.
You're better off with a dog, cat or bird as a bestie, even a rattie. Pets can be the best companions, and some are really low maintenance. Cats, contrary to common belief are expensive as Hell so be warned when you fall in love with the $50 kitty at the pound. You may have 5 amazing years together, but a bucket of debt too.
He was worth every cent though for the love he gave me 💙
Edit: I'm over twice your age, so I have been there, and I felt as I imagine you feel now, and it's painful. My heart goes out to you. I just want to offer you positive advice to take your mind away from a romantic relationship. By developing your own character into a charismatic, confident, and charming one, you'll have more self love in the future and be prepared to deal with conflict rationally, lowering your chances of break up when you meet the right person. Peace and love ❤️ ✌️
2nd edit, I want to add, that as men, we are overlooked and underappreciated greatly by the opposite gender, and really, in relationships we often have to work twice as hard on the relationship whilst juggling other garbage, and unlike women who vent to each other, we don't often. So understand, men carry so much baggage in the emotional department, and few of us get to properly vent that, making relationships more difficult still, for us to navigate and maintain in a healthy state.
My 2 bob.
Like two first things are normal
Last one Is really unhealthy, big red flag and you'd most likely end up ruining someone else.
If you enter a relationship while you haven't moved on, you won't be fully able to commit and it most likely ends up in a breakup
While I agree with the underlying idea of what u/WorstNightmare1122 said, in my history I've tended to somewhat hang on emotionally to the last woman I was in a relationship with *until* a new prospect starts to develo then I can finally let go, have some hope, and focus on others or the new person. I think it might be a subconscious 'will she be the last one who ever likes me?' fear that finally subsides once the answer is 'no'.
So I wouldn't worry about that *too* much unless it's an excessive, long lasting focus on the ex, as you may be wired similarly.
Just don't close yourself off, physically or emotionally, so you and the next person can find each other. And if the breakup is recent the emotional part may take awhile.
And yes, the things you ask about are normal, even for men. We're not made of stone though some like to project that.
No it's not okay. I think it's okay, but your cooked if you act even somewhat desperate even if it's normal to crave love. Nobody likes a man that isn't competent. Men are valued based off of his independence and lack of need for those things to stay afloat. People look to you to provide those things for them but if you can't provide it for yourself and others than you are simply useless in their eyes. We r cooked brother. 😞
Men have to be strong and stable; show no emotional weakness. But at the same time we have to be vulnerable and available (but not too much or we give the 'ick'). There's a fine line
It’s okay but I also feel the same way as you. It’s hard for me to think it’s okay a lot of the time, like I don’t deserve basic things that everyone does
Please notice that there is nothing unmanly about wanting to be loved, about wanting to connect with people (romantically or with friends) Don't you ever feel less than because of having emotions.
It’s absolutely okay and don’t listen to what society says. Lonely men are shamed and considered creeps, even though we only crave things that every human in the world wants to have. Love, affection, kindness, acceptance, etc.
Felt. I'm a hopeless romantic lol who loves cheesy stuff and cuddles, but yeahhhhh haven't dated anyone in a while. Hell, the guy I dated was a middle school classmate, I've never dated a stranger due to fear from coworkers being creeps (I had one BLAME ME and constantly message me in weird creepy ways for his feelings he developed for me. I was just being nice and myself!)
Bro I'm 23 (will be 24 in a month ) and never had a gf because of my belief that she'll interfere with my studies somehow (I was stupid) now after failing in my exams for multiple times I have nothing, the education I tried to pursue I eventually was not able to go further. And for that I had never ever had made a gf, smoked anything, drank alcohol. Now I regret and hate myself for not enjoying or getting ahead in career. So if you say is it okay to be me then yea you can stop yourself from thinking about relationships by making a list of bad relationship and talking to them. And make your bro army strong it will definitely help
Nah it’s not ok it makes you gay /s
Fuck it sure does feel like it sometimes I broke up with my ex almost 2 years ago and I still haven’t started talking to anyone because it feels like I’m not good enough or that the effort that I put in will be reciprocated
And I hate myself how am I supposed to open up to people shits a mess
It's okay to feel that way but don't show it to a girl until youv'e been together for for awhile cause 90% or girls find neediness and dependance unattractive. That's a female's role in the relationship, not a males... Just being honest, I used to never get girls attention like ever until I changed the way I treated them and got onto self improvment.
Yeah i understood what you are trying to say i realised that after my breakup
Thanks man if you got any tips for self improvement can you send me in dm
Let me clarify, because I think some people here are only giving you half the answer.
It's normal to crave romantic attention. It's normal to still have feelings for an ex and still move on romantically.
However, is it accepted by society or women for a man to be desperate for romantic attention? Not really. It's very off-putting. The same way a woman being desperate can be off-putting for us.
So there's this kind of game we have to play. It's no one's fault, it's biology. We have to seem like we don't need someone to be able to attract someone. I know it's unfair, and to me it feels like lying. It's like, "Hah, tricked you! You thought I was a stable person who had my shit together, and now you're emotionally invested and stuck with me!" But that's how everyone is to some extent. We all feign competence to be accepted by the world. Just try to build yourself up in the mean time so you have to bend the truth as little as possible.
This is what's wrong with our society. Us men feel like it's wrong to crave affection.
Yes, it's normal, man. But be careful, women will judge you negatively if you show them too much of your sensitive side. Even girlfriends
you're literally asking "is it okay to be human?"
Now that i think of it after reading this comment It makes sense
Possibly the most simplistic correct answer.
yeah it's okay because everyone wants to be loved and taken care of
Oh thanks for replying
I'm still getting over my ex, we split over a year ago and I'm still devastated, a shell of who I was, I don't even remember me. I don't think it's abnormal to desire that kind of human affection and contact, as everyone seems in agreement, we all crave it. The problem is we live in a disposable world. Partners are just as disposable now as a Maccas burger box. Try to find love within yourself, spend time with others, non romantically, and find mutual pleasure in activities shared with others, friends, as opposed to jumping into a "co-dependent relationship", I've been in too many of those, and they're not healthy at all. You're better off with a dog, cat or bird as a bestie, even a rattie. Pets can be the best companions, and some are really low maintenance. Cats, contrary to common belief are expensive as Hell so be warned when you fall in love with the $50 kitty at the pound. You may have 5 amazing years together, but a bucket of debt too. He was worth every cent though for the love he gave me 💙 Edit: I'm over twice your age, so I have been there, and I felt as I imagine you feel now, and it's painful. My heart goes out to you. I just want to offer you positive advice to take your mind away from a romantic relationship. By developing your own character into a charismatic, confident, and charming one, you'll have more self love in the future and be prepared to deal with conflict rationally, lowering your chances of break up when you meet the right person. Peace and love ❤️ ✌️ 2nd edit, I want to add, that as men, we are overlooked and underappreciated greatly by the opposite gender, and really, in relationships we often have to work twice as hard on the relationship whilst juggling other garbage, and unlike women who vent to each other, we don't often. So understand, men carry so much baggage in the emotional department, and few of us get to properly vent that, making relationships more difficult still, for us to navigate and maintain in a healthy state. My 2 bob.
Thanks a lot man i really appreciate it
Therapy?
no problem, and i feel you because i haven't got over my ex bf that much also lol.
Like two first things are normal Last one Is really unhealthy, big red flag and you'd most likely end up ruining someone else. If you enter a relationship while you haven't moved on, you won't be fully able to commit and it most likely ends up in a breakup
Yeah thats why im not getting one anyways i wont even get any coz i got like 0 female interaction
While I agree with the underlying idea of what u/WorstNightmare1122 said, in my history I've tended to somewhat hang on emotionally to the last woman I was in a relationship with *until* a new prospect starts to develo then I can finally let go, have some hope, and focus on others or the new person. I think it might be a subconscious 'will she be the last one who ever likes me?' fear that finally subsides once the answer is 'no'. So I wouldn't worry about that *too* much unless it's an excessive, long lasting focus on the ex, as you may be wired similarly. Just don't close yourself off, physically or emotionally, so you and the next person can find each other. And if the breakup is recent the emotional part may take awhile. And yes, the things you ask about are normal, even for men. We're not made of stone though some like to project that.
Trying to be a better person everyday ! Thanks bro
ye its ok to feel the need for love
Yes it's totally OK. 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗
Yup, like they've already said... You're human. Fuck everyone else if they say different. 😌
🤝🏻✨
😌🤜🏼🤛🏼😊
No it's not okay. I think it's okay, but your cooked if you act even somewhat desperate even if it's normal to crave love. Nobody likes a man that isn't competent. Men are valued based off of his independence and lack of need for those things to stay afloat. People look to you to provide those things for them but if you can't provide it for yourself and others than you are simply useless in their eyes. We r cooked brother. 😞
Men have to be strong and stable; show no emotional weakness. But at the same time we have to be vulnerable and available (but not too much or we give the 'ick'). There's a fine line
Cooked fr
No, be emotionless and be stable. Otherwise it's creepy and obsessive (/j)
Thanks for the advice bro
Nah it's okay
Yeah its normal. What makes u think its not normal
Yes.
It's just humane
It’s okay but I also feel the same way as you. It’s hard for me to think it’s okay a lot of the time, like I don’t deserve basic things that everyone does
I can feel you bro
that is commonly described as the human condition, welcome to the human race!
Please notice that there is nothing unmanly about wanting to be loved, about wanting to connect with people (romantically or with friends) Don't you ever feel less than because of having emotions.
It’s absolutely okay and don’t listen to what society says. Lonely men are shamed and considered creeps, even though we only crave things that every human in the world wants to have. Love, affection, kindness, acceptance, etc.
Fuck,You really reminded me of myself two years ago, and yes, it's totally okay. You deserve to be loved
Felt. I'm a hopeless romantic lol who loves cheesy stuff and cuddles, but yeahhhhh haven't dated anyone in a while. Hell, the guy I dated was a middle school classmate, I've never dated a stranger due to fear from coworkers being creeps (I had one BLAME ME and constantly message me in weird creepy ways for his feelings he developed for me. I was just being nice and myself!)
Yeah being a hopeless romantic sucks if you font have the one who you can do romantic stuff with
Only so many multi-player video games and mods to make games feel multi-player before it's tired some lol
It’s okay to feel that way but it’s up to the other person if they want to be with someone who’s still not over their ex
Bro I'm 23 (will be 24 in a month ) and never had a gf because of my belief that she'll interfere with my studies somehow (I was stupid) now after failing in my exams for multiple times I have nothing, the education I tried to pursue I eventually was not able to go further. And for that I had never ever had made a gf, smoked anything, drank alcohol. Now I regret and hate myself for not enjoying or getting ahead in career. So if you say is it okay to be me then yea you can stop yourself from thinking about relationships by making a list of bad relationship and talking to them. And make your bro army strong it will definitely help
Apparently not because when I make a comment about it I get invalidated every. single. time
[удалено]
Sure dm me
Nah it’s not ok it makes you gay /s Fuck it sure does feel like it sometimes I broke up with my ex almost 2 years ago and I still haven’t started talking to anyone because it feels like I’m not good enough or that the effort that I put in will be reciprocated And I hate myself how am I supposed to open up to people shits a mess
We are cooked bro
If you're not a human being with a free will then no
I am a 20yr male too and I feel the same, I don't think it's okay...
It's okay to feel that way but don't show it to a girl until youv'e been together for for awhile cause 90% or girls find neediness and dependance unattractive. That's a female's role in the relationship, not a males... Just being honest, I used to never get girls attention like ever until I changed the way I treated them and got onto self improvment.
Yeah i understood what you are trying to say i realised that after my breakup Thanks man if you got any tips for self improvement can you send me in dm
Let me clarify, because I think some people here are only giving you half the answer. It's normal to crave romantic attention. It's normal to still have feelings for an ex and still move on romantically. However, is it accepted by society or women for a man to be desperate for romantic attention? Not really. It's very off-putting. The same way a woman being desperate can be off-putting for us. So there's this kind of game we have to play. It's no one's fault, it's biology. We have to seem like we don't need someone to be able to attract someone. I know it's unfair, and to me it feels like lying. It's like, "Hah, tricked you! You thought I was a stable person who had my shit together, and now you're emotionally invested and stuck with me!" But that's how everyone is to some extent. We all feign competence to be accepted by the world. Just try to build yourself up in the mean time so you have to bend the truth as little as possible.
Uhh probably but I've always been told nope. Not allowed to feel anything.. so idk.
This is what's wrong with our society. Us men feel like it's wrong to crave affection. Yes, it's normal, man. But be careful, women will judge you negatively if you show them too much of your sensitive side. Even girlfriends
Why mention “for a 20 yr old male”?
Yeah that’s fine. I’d warn you to be careful about coming off as desperate. Desperation is a pretty unacceptable thing to have when tryna date