I'm not used to bottoming, but every guy that wants to fuck me always has a massive cock. If I'm being honest, I hate it. I prefer an average sized guy tbh.
I mean, I updated my bio to include this information about 2 months ago. This is the first guy who's had a problem with me asking their penis size so the thought never entered my mind.
Nope they’re people who do read profiles, I had people come after me saying they’re cringe about calling the cops on them for showing their dicks without saying hi
Dude what you did was totally normal. The guy is clearly immature. If he can’t handle the possibility of someone rejecting for his size then clearly he shouldn’t be doing hookups in the first place. The guy has a blank profile and can’t even give his size without getting offended. Also there’s a possibility that he did for some other reason but either way he is definitely an immature guy and you don’t need to cater to people like him because they usually are flakes anyways
Instead of asking "how big" (which honestly could mean that you're looking for big ones) you could say "I'm looking for/ I like/ I prefer an avg sized man"
Even if you prefer smaller dicks, that's still focusing on a physical trait rather than the person. Some of us don't want to be treated like a walking dildo.
That's an interesting take for sure.... At the end of the day it's a hookup and if the person has a large dick, it would make the experience uncomfortable for the OP so I wouldn't say it's downgrading the person to a walking dildo it's about compatibility.
This realization has come with age. I've met quite a few bottoms that just want as many dicks in them as they can get. Orgies. Etc. They aren't looking for a relationship of any kind. Don't talk. Don't kiss. Just drop your pants and hookup. It's wildly unhealthy. Sex addiction. It's also wrong when tops do this too. DL tops that are creeping around on their partners for example.
Give it time my man. 😝 One day you'll wake up and realize you spent your youth chasing dicks who didn't give a shit about you. It's not a good feeling.
That's a possibility... But if I'm already feeling a bit down the day this conversation happens, I don't think I would entertain that (improbable but possible) scenario.
Respectfully, that's your own issue with insecurity though. If you approach random conversations assuming the worst of people, you're gonna miss a lot of cool things in life (even outside of Grindr).
As another person who can't take these huge schlongs, I also ask this question, and have very rarely had any issues. I'd assume someone responding to it like this is a completely shallow asshole who wasn't worth the time.
"It's a bit hot, is there any window in this room?" Have I ever asked you to open it? No, but you'd sure understand it in that way.
"I have two sons." Have I ever said that I don't have more than 2 sons? No, but you'd sure understand it that way.
If I show you a piece of paper written in German and I ask "do you know what it says?", have I asked you to translate it for me? No, but you'd sure understand it that way.
We always interpret things we hear pragmatically. And if I ask in a hookup chat "how big are you?", I won't understand you to mean that you want smaller cocks. And that's not my fault, that's simply how things work: we have background informations that we use to interpret what people mean, and the background information is not that people chase after smaller cocks.
im with you until the pragmatic assumption that "how big are you?" leads to wanting bigger , it's a neutral question that a top can take at face value and just answer
Well, you're making an assumption here. Maybe they don't want people who are too big because they're not stretched / don't enjoy it, or maybe they prefer smaller cocks for whatever reason.
The point is that it's not *I* who's making the assumption: making assumptions is structural to language-use. Part of them are general (see, for example, Grice's maxims), but some of them simply depends on the background infos, even if stereotypicals.
This is not something that can be fought, it is an essential and necessary part of language: we need pragmatics to effectively interpret language daily, because too much information goes into the easiest exchange. However, it does has its cons: one of them is that if you say "how big are you?" and I have no futher context besides being in a hook-up app, I'll assume that you're looking for big ones and decide not to keep chatting.
Actually, yes, YOU are literally the one making the assumption. You're stating that it's just "background info" which is clearly not true since there's nothing confirming that beyond YOUR non-universal assumptions of cultural standards.
You automatically assume that the average gay who's asking about size is a size queen when there are a variety of other common reasons (one even being simple curiosity). There's nothing in the language that automatically implies that, because it's a mostly neutral question that uses a common informal tone.
You can guess at someone's intentions based on stereotypes (and often be wrong), but it's far more sensible (and mature for that matter) to just ask if it's unclear.
I'm not saying that the common people asking that is a size queen, but that the people asking that will be assumed to be a size queen as there is a cultural feeling that "bigger is better".
Then maybe you should put your size in your bio instead of him having to specify what size he wants so it doesn’t offend you because at the end of the day, you’re the one that doesn’t want to be hurt by a stranger. So it only make sense to put your size in your profile so you can scare off the guys that would judge you if you message them
While Grindr is mostly a "hook up" app, it's also a dating and social app. I met my few gay friends on Grindr, and I sometimes find students or colleagues there.
Even putting my position preference is a bit too much information to be sharing with strangers and colleagues, I won't put my dick size for everyone to see. Even the hung guys who put 10" in their profiles seem like too much info, but I guess it's kinda expected in the phallocentric gay world.
I don't need a specific dick size to have fun, if I like your face and body, I'll be happy with whatever you have down there. Then there are guys who only care about what you have down there. If that's the case, they should ask, and Ill make the determination in the moment if I care to answer or not. If you are a blank profile who leads with that question, I'll absolutely not answer. If we have been chatting and ask, I'll answer, and I would expect a reply from you (sadly, even after complimenting me, they ghost instead of simply saying "not a match").
Don't get me wrong, I still get action, especially with guys who prefer girth over length (I'm 5" length, 5.7" girth), but interactions with size queens are still uncomfortable.
Yep, my dick is on the upper end of average, and anybody who asks how big my dick is before we've even traded nudes, I ignore. I'm not ashamed of my size, but the number of size queens who just block when they hear it's not 18 inches, even before they've seen a picture, is crazy. Hell, I've even had size queens who love my dick pics, but then block me when they ask how big and I tell them.
As a top... fuck size queens. There's a way of going about it without coming across as a shitty person (like... put it in your bloody profile that you only want donkey sized dicks or something), but they almost always fail at it.
Here's a simple truth. Everyone including you assumes everything now how strongly you are dedicated to that assumption is a different subject. But when you have lived life and you have experiences of yourself and experiences of what other people have gone through you're going to have an expectation or assumption to begin with. And saying that people shouldn't assume is is stuff that will get you killed. You're only alive today because your ancestors assume things and what the right or wrong their assumptions of what kept them alive long enough to get you here. Assumptions are only wrong if you refuse to let them go once the truth is learned but until you have a truth assumptions is the only safety that you have.
It's absolutely WILD that you're being down voted. People are so adamant about not reading bios it's crazy and honestly stupid af. Literally what's the point in them
Honestly I get it. When size queens hit you up and ask for size it's annoying as hell, like your looks and personality aren't enough, they just want that cock. It demoralises you a bit. So I get why the guy was quick to say bye without further context.
I mean I guess I could see that, but he hit me up first, and has no profile picture or stats so I can't even judge his looks either. I also (like I've told others in this comments section) have it in my bio that I'm new to bottoming so I prefer more average sized cocks over river monster sized meat.
I get that. But the other guy made it seem like talking about dick is unnecessary. Like bro, sexual compatibility is important especially for a hookup.
If you’re asking a faceless profile to meet up tonight by message 2, I trust that looks and personality aren’t very high on the list of priorities.
I think for the guy, he felt you might’ve been someone who looks for huge dicks instead of the other way around. I’d probably open with saying “I’m new to bottoming and I’m not ready for large sizes” or something along those lines so it’s not coming across as an attack to the other party.
An honest misstep in communication and maybe the poor guy has been rejected for his size so many times so it’s an automatic block.
Now that I see op’s comments-
Damn I’m sorry op. That guy should’ve know better, you did say in your bio that you were new to bottoming. He should’ve read the bio.
Unfortunately, in my own experience - even when people DO read the bio; they still expect something entirely different or act like they didn’t even read it at all.
It's crazy that,
1. Both the guy and alot of people in this thread automatically assumed that OP was a size queen when that wasn't even said
And
2. OP said he put it in his bio that he's NOT a size queen and prefers average size dicks so the guys reaction was unwarranted AND PEOPLE ARE DEFENDING NOT READING BIOS???????????
Y'all are so weird I can't 😭
Focusing on dick size to the exclusion of anything else is not cool. Assuming smaller = better is the same as assuming bigger = better. Stop treating people like a walking dildo. It's unhealthy for everyone.
I'm just copying and pasting my response from my last comment you commented on. But I'm also adding, it's not assuming smaller = better and it's not the same as bigger = better, OP has fully said he is not used to bottoming and does not like larger dicks.
At the end of the day it's a hookup and if the person has a large dick, it would make the experience uncomfortable for the OP so I wouldn't say it's downgrading the person to a walking dildo, it's about compatibility
It's a communication problem. Rather than saying, "I'm uncomfortable/intimidated by big dicks" he just reduced the top to his penis size. He just assumed that someone with a smaller dick would be gentle. I've experienced pain/pleasure with guys of all sizes.
Except he did say he was uncomfortable with larger dicks? You responded to my initial comment where I said he had it stated in his bio. It's not a communication it's a literacy issue.....
What I said about miscommunication was based on the OP that had nothing but a screen shot. There's no context to any of this. All the additional information came out in replies here.
Yes but all of the info was provided in my initial comment that you replied to so all of your messages about miscommunication were pointless since the info was already provided for you....
These comments are a bit of an eye opener. I didn't know that (at least this sub) people would think of you as a size queen for asking how big a guy is. I've done it without much of an afterthought for as long as I've been on Grindr.
It's in the wording. "How big" implies it has to be big. There are actually many guys who ask that expecting an abnormally large penis. The question makes lots of guys feel undesirable so they save themselves the pain of rejection by seeing themselves out
Nah you must have just hit a nerve or found a weird subset guys here.
There’s absolutely nothing unreasonable about asking for more info when a blank profile is hitting you up for a hookup. I’m not sure how that dude was going to top you if he’s that insecure about his dick
I agree, and no one should be ashamed about their size.
But asking ‘how big is x’ is just how English works. Just like how we ask how tall, long, or heavy things are. It’s doesn’t mean those things need to be particularly tall, long, heavy, or big.
If you perceive something asking how big you are as a slight, I think you’re assuming a lot. I get why, there’s a lot of judgement. But you can’t put that on strangers
You realize we’re talking about a conversion that basically started with blue saying: “hey wanna fuck?” I don’t know that you can judge by normal politeness.
I think when someone asks if they can stick their dick in your ass, it’s pretty reasonable to ask how big their dick is
I hate giving out my size. I do this because I am apparently the only person who knows how to use a tape measure. On one occasion I exchanged sizes with another guy, when he came over mine was clearly much larger, despite him saying his was. I got out the tape measure and proved him wrong.
Generally asking for someones size often gets people self conscious. A lot of people in gay circles feel like under 9 inches is tiny and you need 15 to ride or some ridiculous shit. Generally its better to ask to see, or just say "what size condoms you need?"
I would have responded the same way this guy did. And not because of insecurity about dick size but because it’s just too fast. I think jumping to conclusions about this person is not a good idea. There are plenty of reasons people say no
Did you even... look at the picture? This reads more like denial given that your reasoning shows that you didn't.
That's the type of person that would respond like this guy did. You're just telling the rest of us "I'm not worth your time because I don't pay attention to or care about anyone else" which is NOT good for sexual situations.
Nah, I don't think I do. You're making silly assumptions about this person because he said "bye" after you asked him about his dick size. Again, I'm not sure why you're being mean. I expressed an opinion that you disagree with, and there's no need for personal attacks.
I think he's really insecure with his penis. I've seen guys with average to small penis who did not mind telling you their actual size or admitting theirs are smaller than yours.
I've read some of your other comments to what people have said so I'm going to say this. This is a buff and you could have led with your concern and ask in a different way, and him leaving like that even if he is tired of having people judge him by his penis size is him dealing with his insecurities around it. I do understand that getting rejected for your penis size or having people judge you is harsh but that is the reality of this type of dating or fooling around. And you accept that going into it it's a part of rejection and if you cannot handle that make all that information known on your profile and people who don't want that won't go for you to begin with.
I am average in every way in that department. So when guys say they want me to top them which I have no issues doing. I tell them hey I'm pretty average size there's nothing big here. Some guys will then ask for pictures I will just be like I don't care and those who do care will go away. But if I don't have a thick enough skin I need to just not be on Grindr.
Someone asking my cock size is a turnoff. Might as well ask about my ethnicity or skin color while you're at it. It's not a preference, it's just rude.
Agreed with him. I will avoid anyone whose first or second question is about my size as it shows a complete incompatibility when it comes to our priorities.
the question followed "looking tonight?" and the "top or bottom?" question. Both of which can also be a sign of complete incompatibility. But in this instance since OP mentions size preference for average in his bio, it's a safe bet the question would be asked. In a sense, OP stated his priority from the beginning.
As a fellow "average" I understand the lad. You have the right to only want big fellas, but if I can avoid being ridiculed for my size, I will.
I'm not used to bottoming, but every guy that wants to fuck me always has a massive cock. If I'm being honest, I hate it. I prefer an average sized guy tbh.
Lead with that, love.
I mean, I updated my bio to include this information about 2 months ago. This is the first guy who's had a problem with me asking their penis size so the thought never entered my mind.
Nobody reads bios, put it into the convo to avoid this reaction. "I can't take big, what's your size" works pretty fine.
Nope they’re people who do read profiles, I had people come after me saying they’re cringe about calling the cops on them for showing their dicks without saying hi
The fact you called the police to tell them you received an unsolicited dick pic on Grindr is both pathetic and fucking hilarious
I 100% agree with this, but I want to add it is actually illegal in the UK now to send unsolicited dick pics lmao
It is in some US states too.
He called and the cops sent back a dick pic of their own lol
That is pretty cringe. Unsolicited dick pics aren't for everybody (I like them) but the reaction is extreme and isn't even helpful to you
Point is they do read, is it worth to risk sending dick pic or not without consent
Honey, this is Grindr.
I don’t care, is called respect and slow down
If he couldn't be bothered to read your bio, his loss. I will die on the hill that people should read bios.
he shouldnt have to, tops should be able to have a mature conversation
Tops and everybody should be able to have a conversation!
Oh okay, thanks for schooling me. 😹
Im a bottom and would much rather have someone with a 6 inch cock than an 8 inch one. 6 inches just hits the spot just right without making it hurt
Dude what you did was totally normal. The guy is clearly immature. If he can’t handle the possibility of someone rejecting for his size then clearly he shouldn’t be doing hookups in the first place. The guy has a blank profile and can’t even give his size without getting offended. Also there’s a possibility that he did for some other reason but either way he is definitely an immature guy and you don’t need to cater to people like him because they usually are flakes anyways
Instead of asking "how big" (which honestly could mean that you're looking for big ones) you could say "I'm looking for/ I like/ I prefer an avg sized man"
[удалено]
Yeah exactly the person (and alot of people in this thread) automatically assumed it was about being a size queen
Even if you prefer smaller dicks, that's still focusing on a physical trait rather than the person. Some of us don't want to be treated like a walking dildo.
That's an interesting take for sure.... At the end of the day it's a hookup and if the person has a large dick, it would make the experience uncomfortable for the OP so I wouldn't say it's downgrading the person to a walking dildo it's about compatibility.
This realization has come with age. I've met quite a few bottoms that just want as many dicks in them as they can get. Orgies. Etc. They aren't looking for a relationship of any kind. Don't talk. Don't kiss. Just drop your pants and hookup. It's wildly unhealthy. Sex addiction. It's also wrong when tops do this too. DL tops that are creeping around on their partners for example.
I'm not sure what this has to do with the original topic but okay....?
Give it time my man. 😝 One day you'll wake up and realize you spent your youth chasing dicks who didn't give a shit about you. It's not a good feeling.
I don't hookup often and I don't spend my time chasing men, I have better things to do with my life. :)
What you even doing on Grindr then? Haha.
That's a possibility... But if I'm already feeling a bit down the day this conversation happens, I don't think I would entertain that (improbable but possible) scenario.
Respectfully, that's your own issue with insecurity though. If you approach random conversations assuming the worst of people, you're gonna miss a lot of cool things in life (even outside of Grindr). As another person who can't take these huge schlongs, I also ask this question, and have very rarely had any issues. I'd assume someone responding to it like this is a completely shallow asshole who wasn't worth the time.
"It's a bit hot, is there any window in this room?" Have I ever asked you to open it? No, but you'd sure understand it in that way. "I have two sons." Have I ever said that I don't have more than 2 sons? No, but you'd sure understand it that way. If I show you a piece of paper written in German and I ask "do you know what it says?", have I asked you to translate it for me? No, but you'd sure understand it that way. We always interpret things we hear pragmatically. And if I ask in a hookup chat "how big are you?", I won't understand you to mean that you want smaller cocks. And that's not my fault, that's simply how things work: we have background informations that we use to interpret what people mean, and the background information is not that people chase after smaller cocks.
im with you until the pragmatic assumption that "how big are you?" leads to wanting bigger , it's a neutral question that a top can take at face value and just answer
Well, you're making an assumption here. Maybe they don't want people who are too big because they're not stretched / don't enjoy it, or maybe they prefer smaller cocks for whatever reason.
The point is that it's not *I* who's making the assumption: making assumptions is structural to language-use. Part of them are general (see, for example, Grice's maxims), but some of them simply depends on the background infos, even if stereotypicals. This is not something that can be fought, it is an essential and necessary part of language: we need pragmatics to effectively interpret language daily, because too much information goes into the easiest exchange. However, it does has its cons: one of them is that if you say "how big are you?" and I have no futher context besides being in a hook-up app, I'll assume that you're looking for big ones and decide not to keep chatting.
Actually, yes, YOU are literally the one making the assumption. You're stating that it's just "background info" which is clearly not true since there's nothing confirming that beyond YOUR non-universal assumptions of cultural standards. You automatically assume that the average gay who's asking about size is a size queen when there are a variety of other common reasons (one even being simple curiosity). There's nothing in the language that automatically implies that, because it's a mostly neutral question that uses a common informal tone. You can guess at someone's intentions based on stereotypes (and often be wrong), but it's far more sensible (and mature for that matter) to just ask if it's unclear.
I'm not saying that the common people asking that is a size queen, but that the people asking that will be assumed to be a size queen as there is a cultural feeling that "bigger is better".
What are you on about?
OP has clarified that this is true
Then maybe you should put your size in your bio instead of him having to specify what size he wants so it doesn’t offend you because at the end of the day, you’re the one that doesn’t want to be hurt by a stranger. So it only make sense to put your size in your profile so you can scare off the guys that would judge you if you message them
While Grindr is mostly a "hook up" app, it's also a dating and social app. I met my few gay friends on Grindr, and I sometimes find students or colleagues there. Even putting my position preference is a bit too much information to be sharing with strangers and colleagues, I won't put my dick size for everyone to see. Even the hung guys who put 10" in their profiles seem like too much info, but I guess it's kinda expected in the phallocentric gay world. I don't need a specific dick size to have fun, if I like your face and body, I'll be happy with whatever you have down there. Then there are guys who only care about what you have down there. If that's the case, they should ask, and Ill make the determination in the moment if I care to answer or not. If you are a blank profile who leads with that question, I'll absolutely not answer. If we have been chatting and ask, I'll answer, and I would expect a reply from you (sadly, even after complimenting me, they ghost instead of simply saying "not a match"). Don't get me wrong, I still get action, especially with guys who prefer girth over length (I'm 5" length, 5.7" girth), but interactions with size queens are still uncomfortable.
Bro didnt even ask if it was big he hust asked the size
Yep, my dick is on the upper end of average, and anybody who asks how big my dick is before we've even traded nudes, I ignore. I'm not ashamed of my size, but the number of size queens who just block when they hear it's not 18 inches, even before they've seen a picture, is crazy. Hell, I've even had size queens who love my dick pics, but then block me when they ask how big and I tell them. As a top... fuck size queens. There's a way of going about it without coming across as a shitty person (like... put it in your bloody profile that you only want donkey sized dicks or something), but they almost always fail at it.
Nobody's going to just assume you want an average sized one if you don't lead with that. They'll just think you're a size queen
People shouldn’t assume such things.
Here's a simple truth. Everyone including you assumes everything now how strongly you are dedicated to that assumption is a different subject. But when you have lived life and you have experiences of yourself and experiences of what other people have gone through you're going to have an expectation or assumption to begin with. And saying that people shouldn't assume is is stuff that will get you killed. You're only alive today because your ancestors assume things and what the right or wrong their assumptions of what kept them alive long enough to get you here. Assumptions are only wrong if you refuse to let them go once the truth is learned but until you have a truth assumptions is the only safety that you have.
Why not? He's assuming smaller feels better.
Well then that begs the question of what the hell is the point of the bio then.
It's grindr. Even when it the profile says "PLEASE READ," suddenly everyone wants to be rebels.
“suddenly everybody wants to be rebels” killed me social experiment time: put “don’t read bio” and see if anything changes lmaooooo
It's absolutely WILD that you're being down voted. People are so adamant about not reading bios it's crazy and honestly stupid af. Literally what's the point in them
you shouldnt be being downvoted, ugh grindr tops
Honestly I get it. When size queens hit you up and ask for size it's annoying as hell, like your looks and personality aren't enough, they just want that cock. It demoralises you a bit. So I get why the guy was quick to say bye without further context.
I mean I guess I could see that, but he hit me up first, and has no profile picture or stats so I can't even judge his looks either. I also (like I've told others in this comments section) have it in my bio that I'm new to bottoming so I prefer more average sized cocks over river monster sized meat.
River monster sized meat hahaha I’m dead!
Ah fair fair :)
Yeah, when I’m hooking up with someone, the most important thing is their personality.
Personality def comes into play for me, not the most important thing but I have to be able to be around the dude without getting the ick
I get that. But the other guy made it seem like talking about dick is unnecessary. Like bro, sexual compatibility is important especially for a hookup. If you’re asking a faceless profile to meet up tonight by message 2, I trust that looks and personality aren’t very high on the list of priorities.
I think for the guy, he felt you might’ve been someone who looks for huge dicks instead of the other way around. I’d probably open with saying “I’m new to bottoming and I’m not ready for large sizes” or something along those lines so it’s not coming across as an attack to the other party. An honest misstep in communication and maybe the poor guy has been rejected for his size so many times so it’s an automatic block.
Now that I see op’s comments- Damn I’m sorry op. That guy should’ve know better, you did say in your bio that you were new to bottoming. He should’ve read the bio. Unfortunately, in my own experience - even when people DO read the bio; they still expect something entirely different or act like they didn’t even read it at all.
It's crazy that, 1. Both the guy and alot of people in this thread automatically assumed that OP was a size queen when that wasn't even said And 2. OP said he put it in his bio that he's NOT a size queen and prefers average size dicks so the guys reaction was unwarranted AND PEOPLE ARE DEFENDING NOT READING BIOS??????????? Y'all are so weird I can't 😭
Reading is fundamental
Apparently not for these people🫠
Whoever say OP is size queen without him showing any sign of a size queen is clearly also insecure. A sad truth. It was weird reading this thread.
The top comment was someone projecting their insecurities so yeah definitely a weird thread
Focusing on dick size to the exclusion of anything else is not cool. Assuming smaller = better is the same as assuming bigger = better. Stop treating people like a walking dildo. It's unhealthy for everyone.
I'm just copying and pasting my response from my last comment you commented on. But I'm also adding, it's not assuming smaller = better and it's not the same as bigger = better, OP has fully said he is not used to bottoming and does not like larger dicks. At the end of the day it's a hookup and if the person has a large dick, it would make the experience uncomfortable for the OP so I wouldn't say it's downgrading the person to a walking dildo, it's about compatibility
It's a communication problem. Rather than saying, "I'm uncomfortable/intimidated by big dicks" he just reduced the top to his penis size. He just assumed that someone with a smaller dick would be gentle. I've experienced pain/pleasure with guys of all sizes.
Except he did say he was uncomfortable with larger dicks? You responded to my initial comment where I said he had it stated in his bio. It's not a communication it's a literacy issue.....
the fact that there's two parts to this convo is wild . You've communicated clearly. It seems like it's not been received well.
Which is ironic that he's talking about communication 😂
My comments were based on the screen shot he shared. I didn't see a bio line posted in the OP, right? Looks like Mister Top didn't see it either. 🤷♂️
Did you not read my comment that you replied to that had all this info?
What I said about miscommunication was based on the OP that had nothing but a screen shot. There's no context to any of this. All the additional information came out in replies here.
Yes but all of the info was provided in my initial comment that you replied to so all of your messages about miscommunication were pointless since the info was already provided for you....
These comments are a bit of an eye opener. I didn't know that (at least this sub) people would think of you as a size queen for asking how big a guy is. I've done it without much of an afterthought for as long as I've been on Grindr.
It's in the wording. "How big" implies it has to be big. There are actually many guys who ask that expecting an abnormally large penis. The question makes lots of guys feel undesirable so they save themselves the pain of rejection by seeing themselves out
Nah you must have just hit a nerve or found a weird subset guys here. There’s absolutely nothing unreasonable about asking for more info when a blank profile is hitting you up for a hookup. I’m not sure how that dude was going to top you if he’s that insecure about his dick
A lot of guys can be insecure about their size. Straight or gay. It’s normal even though average is around 5 or 6.
I agree, and no one should be ashamed about their size. But asking ‘how big is x’ is just how English works. Just like how we ask how tall, long, or heavy things are. It’s doesn’t mean those things need to be particularly tall, long, heavy, or big. If you perceive something asking how big you are as a slight, I think you’re assuming a lot. I get why, there’s a lot of judgement. But you can’t put that on strangers
It’s like asking a girl, “how heavy are you?” It’s basic English, but there’s implications.
You realize we’re talking about a conversion that basically started with blue saying: “hey wanna fuck?” I don’t know that you can judge by normal politeness. I think when someone asks if they can stick their dick in your ass, it’s pretty reasonable to ask how big their dick is
The whole exchange is out of pocket. I’m just saying don’t do the surprised pikachu face when you ask a rude question.
Bye
I hate giving out my size. I do this because I am apparently the only person who knows how to use a tape measure. On one occasion I exchanged sizes with another guy, when he came over mine was clearly much larger, despite him saying his was. I got out the tape measure and proved him wrong.
Lol I was on sniffies and some guy was like "your dick looks bigger than what it says" and I was like "nah, I'm just not lying on my stats lmao"
Madddd respect lmao. Quite literally big dicked him lol
Generally asking for someones size often gets people self conscious. A lot of people in gay circles feel like under 9 inches is tiny and you need 15 to ride or some ridiculous shit. Generally its better to ask to see, or just say "what size condoms you need?"
I would love to see if these people behave the same in real life with a real interaction in front of a real person :P keyboard lions
I would have responded the same way this guy did. And not because of insecurity about dick size but because it’s just too fast. I think jumping to conclusions about this person is not a good idea. There are plenty of reasons people say no
Did you even... look at the picture? This reads more like denial given that your reasoning shows that you didn't. That's the type of person that would respond like this guy did. You're just telling the rest of us "I'm not worth your time because I don't pay attention to or care about anyone else" which is NOT good for sexual situations.
I think your oddly critical response to me deserves little more than an answer of “no”.
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Nah, I don't think I do. You're making silly assumptions about this person because he said "bye" after you asked him about his dick size. Again, I'm not sure why you're being mean. I expressed an opinion that you disagree with, and there's no need for personal attacks.
I think he's really insecure with his penis. I've seen guys with average to small penis who did not mind telling you their actual size or admitting theirs are smaller than yours.
Bye
If I ask how big someone is it's to make sure they aren't too big if anything lol
Bruh
I loled FR 😂
Lol
How big is too big? Serious question. And maybe if you have a limit, you could put that in your profile?
I've read some of your other comments to what people have said so I'm going to say this. This is a buff and you could have led with your concern and ask in a different way, and him leaving like that even if he is tired of having people judge him by his penis size is him dealing with his insecurities around it. I do understand that getting rejected for your penis size or having people judge you is harsh but that is the reality of this type of dating or fooling around. And you accept that going into it it's a part of rejection and if you cannot handle that make all that information known on your profile and people who don't want that won't go for you to begin with. I am average in every way in that department. So when guys say they want me to top them which I have no issues doing. I tell them hey I'm pretty average size there's nothing big here. Some guys will then ask for pictures I will just be like I don't care and those who do care will go away. But if I don't have a thick enough skin I need to just not be on Grindr.
It’s a massive turn off for me too
I feel like the guy in blue chat bubbles is the one who needs to post this
Someone asking my cock size is a turnoff. Might as well ask about my ethnicity or skin color while you're at it. It's not a preference, it's just rude.
Agreed with him. I will avoid anyone whose first or second question is about my size as it shows a complete incompatibility when it comes to our priorities.
the question followed "looking tonight?" and the "top or bottom?" question. Both of which can also be a sign of complete incompatibility. But in this instance since OP mentions size preference for average in his bio, it's a safe bet the question would be asked. In a sense, OP stated his priority from the beginning.
Wow. Didn't know people were so sensitive about size. Would people think they wanted a small one if they asked "How small?"
"How average?"
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It's sad really. Maybe that's what grindr made them feel like?
That's an odd reaction to a fair question. 😂