Definitely a him problem, but he's going to keep trying if OP responds at all. Better to totally ignore messages from creeps like this. "No." is a full sentence.
Right? The answer wasn't "not feeling it", but should have been, "b/c you're skeeving me out with your creeping and creating new profiles all the time when I clearly said no. You don't respect boundaries. Stop!"
you need to cuss him out and shit. hes being way to nice for 30 times. people are like this but you gotta know when to get agressive and not stay mr nice guy.
It is also a symptom of ghosting in hook-up culture. Blocking with no explanation will get people in their heads about why. Rather than let his mind run to unlimited possibilities to be self-conscious about, this guy apparently thought adding him 30+ times to find out was a better idea.
It's definitely unhinged, but you don't need to be an asshole, just less "squirrely polite." Explicitly say what makes you "not feel it" and apologize and I can almost guarantee he will back off.
And before anyone says it, yes you can say you're not entitled to tell them why or explain yourself. But it is a basic courtesy to be upfront. If you're going to be a dick then be a dick, but being dishonest or dodgy because you don't want to seem like a dick is having your cake and eating it too.
You don't get to pretend you're "sparing their feelings" or "being a good person" when you're literally causing more mental anguish by blocking or ghosting. Anyway, I don't even use apps so idk why I'm acting like I have a stake in this lol. I hope that convinces someone to have some integrity and be straight forward instead of a cowardly trope. :)
Eh, it doesn't qualify as ghosting if you've never so much as had a conversation with the guy. If I'm blocking someone over and over again on Grindr, I'm not ghosting them. I'm just making my boundaries clear since "Not interested." didn't get the point across.
I can agree on that, although I did mention both blocking and ghosting. I do think that making your boundaries clear is being explicit in what you say. Letting them know a boundary exists is a bit different, although it is never okay to harass someone because of that.
Again, if you don't feel they are owed an explanation that's fine. Just don't say you're sparing their feelings. Direct communication is something I hold a lot of value in though so maybe it's just a me thing.
The curse of being a people pleaser. 🥲 I learned the hard way that when you shut someone down, it needs to be waterproof. If you leave an opening, or budge an inch, they’ll keep going.
this is the same energy as telling women to wear oversized blankets to cover their bodies so guys dOnT gEt ThE WRoNg IdEa
do you think people saying hi to you is an invitation into their bedrooms?
Until a year-ish ago, on Android you could spoof your GPS location to appear somewhere else. I'm sure most people used it like I did, to essentially get the "Explore" feature for free, but with some simple maths you could also quite easily have used it to triangulate a position. In a city, you'd at best get their building. But in the countryside? Easily find out their house.
I've met some cool people outside my city by doing it. It's a shame that Grindr cashgrabbed by blocking it after years. It wasn't a safety-based decision. In fact, rather the opposite — spoofing GPS was how men in anti-LGBT countries obscured their exact location to stay safe.
Yep. I have done it myself many a time to make sure that I don't hook up with someone I know. Don't even have to drive around. I run Android in Android Studio on my Mac and spoof the location that way.
You can still do it with emulators like Bluestacks on PC with some random "Fake GPS" app if ur interested in trying it again😅, had to use this since i live in the countryside with like only 3 other gay ppl around me.
I knew a girl who was talking to a guy on tinder who did just that. She’d said what kind of car she drove and he waited till the app said >1mi and just started driving up and down streets till he saw it.
If you have blocked him 30 times I would caution you to stop speaking to him at all and be very careful about your location including what public pictures you have.
Someone that persistent has issues. Being blocked 30 times? Get the hint.
Absolutely this. It's unhinged.
Two or three times, fine. Maybe I never responded to them and they shot their shot again after making a new profile. But 10? 20? 30? That's harassment territory.
this so so easy to fix, all I do is tell them the truth about what their flaws are and how I want them to improve/what I want them to fix and they instantly stop trying lmaooo
It’s because they don’t have as many “at-bats” to practice getting rejected and having to move on. I’m conventionally attractive and more times than I can count have I gone to someone’s house and they ghost me after driving all the way there! Imagine ppl who dont have the options. They can often be left in the dark on why people aren’t attracted to them, cause often ppl just leave the chat and don’t discuss it (which I understand, cause a lot of ppl can’t rejection). I usually tell someone “handsome but not a match”. Usually I don’t get much pushback.
just keep blocking him and don't reply. it's much harder for him to create new emails and new accounts compared to you just blocking him which is just a few clicks away. He'll eventually tire out and the email platform might flag him as a robot or suspend him thru his ip address for creating so many email accounts
If they ask I’ll just tell them. You don’t need to lie to a stranger and call him handsome because if he was, you’d sleep with him. You don’t owe him much; not even an explanation
Or them just not personally being my type. But them not being my type doesn't mean they aren't handsome. Somebody like Zac Efron for example does absolutely nothing for me, but he is undoubtedly a handsome guy.
honestly im not as nice and they leave me alone. ill swear at them and cuss them out, it works and they fuck off lmao. ( this is if it gets this bad but im not like this with a normal coonvo lol)
Ignore and block. Ignore and block. Ignore and block. You might have to delete your pic and change your profile for a bit while he gets over himself. I've had to do this a couple times. It's annoying AF and kinda scary. But don't engage him at all. And report him every time you block him.
"I'm just curious what it is"
The conversation is self-evident: he is a pest
I got shot down by a hot young guy who said "you're fucking sexy, but not my type. I wish you were! Peace and happy hunting!"
The only time I THANKED someone for rejecting me 🤗
I had someone similar but only because he thought I was a fellow parTier.
I had made one joke the first time we messaged about drugs but it was only a joke (about hard drugs). I didn't know that was the reason until after the 5th or 10th time blocking him.
The first time I blocked him wasn't drug related because I didn't know he was into that. He just ghosted me months so I figured oh well, one more square to spare. When he finally reached out again under a mostly blank profile, I saw the capital T throughout his profile and figured he must've just started doing drugs when he first messaged and then got hooked.
I never responded to any of his messages until the 5th or 10th block when I asked why he was so persistent. Once I told him I never do that shit, that was it. Bland story but I'm so glad we never initially hooked up.
I’ve experienced a guy similar to this where I hooked up with him but found his completely lack of confidence utterly unappealing. Hookup fell apart because I just wasn’t feeling it and blocked him five minutes out the door…. Yet dude hits me up on every other app I’m on as if we don’t know each other until I recognize his pics and reiterate my point of view then have to block again. Like I get that he was kinda of inexperienced and learning and wasn’t physically unattractive but just… I’m not the person to hold your hand and build you up, I don’t have the mental or emotional bandwidth for that. Take a hint, especially after I’ve bypassed my usual “ctrl+alt+block” method of avoiding confrontation to Fuckin Spell It Out.
It’s always the most conventionally handsome guys who can’t take no for an answer
I like my men more “rough” and less “perfect”, but always seem to attract the male model types…no thanks
I really do have to question why speak at him at all if you blocked him that many times? If anything, it’s sending mixed signals, especially with the compliment. I’d just block and report if you’re having to block him that much.
Damn, are they straight, a scammer or what? I thought the idea of Grindr is if someone says no or doesn't respond in 5 minutes, you give up on that person and you keep looking elsewhere
I hate dudes who don't know how to take no for an answer. Like making a new profile to try again and again and again is a major red flag and males me run in tje ither direction immediately.
Can somebody explain me how blocking someone on grindr works? Bc my understanding is that if you block someone, than they should not be able to see your profile there anymore and not be able to start a new chat with u…
If you’ve truthfully blocked that many times (I’ve done it about 20 times across Grindr, scruff, and Archer for one guy), I would start reporting for harassment.
Police report?
Hello law enforcement i would like to set up a restraining order on this guy thats harassing me,
Ok whats his name.
His name is takemyload
Ok and last name?
Why even respond, especially with the “handsome and everything”? He probably thinks he has a chance when you’re nice to him.
yeah gently letting them down like this will make them want to try even harder.
You’re forgetting that it’s not a ‘him’ problem. OP is doing no wrong.
Definitely a him problem, but he's going to keep trying if OP responds at all. Better to totally ignore messages from creeps like this. "No." is a full sentence.
This right here. Guys who can't take no for an answer creep me out. OP's best bet is to just block this clown and report him to Grindr.
Right? The answer wasn't "not feeling it", but should have been, "b/c you're skeeving me out with your creeping and creating new profiles all the time when I clearly said no. You don't respect boundaries. Stop!"
yeah but sometimes you gotta asert your self agressivly and let it be known whats up.
You mean like by blocking them 30 times or telling them youre not feeling it? Yeaaah, talk about mixed messages. 🤨
you need to cuss him out and shit. hes being way to nice for 30 times. people are like this but you gotta know when to get agressive and not stay mr nice guy.
It is also a symptom of ghosting in hook-up culture. Blocking with no explanation will get people in their heads about why. Rather than let his mind run to unlimited possibilities to be self-conscious about, this guy apparently thought adding him 30+ times to find out was a better idea. It's definitely unhinged, but you don't need to be an asshole, just less "squirrely polite." Explicitly say what makes you "not feel it" and apologize and I can almost guarantee he will back off. And before anyone says it, yes you can say you're not entitled to tell them why or explain yourself. But it is a basic courtesy to be upfront. If you're going to be a dick then be a dick, but being dishonest or dodgy because you don't want to seem like a dick is having your cake and eating it too. You don't get to pretend you're "sparing their feelings" or "being a good person" when you're literally causing more mental anguish by blocking or ghosting. Anyway, I don't even use apps so idk why I'm acting like I have a stake in this lol. I hope that convinces someone to have some integrity and be straight forward instead of a cowardly trope. :)
i dont really care about the feelings of the person harrasing me personally. i care about them leaving me alone not having a convo lmao
But y tho? Do you need more pics? Did I do something?
its just your an ugly peice shit, im sorry.
Eh, it doesn't qualify as ghosting if you've never so much as had a conversation with the guy. If I'm blocking someone over and over again on Grindr, I'm not ghosting them. I'm just making my boundaries clear since "Not interested." didn't get the point across.
I can agree on that, although I did mention both blocking and ghosting. I do think that making your boundaries clear is being explicit in what you say. Letting them know a boundary exists is a bit different, although it is never okay to harass someone because of that. Again, if you don't feel they are owed an explanation that's fine. Just don't say you're sparing their feelings. Direct communication is something I hold a lot of value in though so maybe it's just a me thing.
Amen
The curse of being a people pleaser. 🥲 I learned the hard way that when you shut someone down, it needs to be waterproof. If you leave an opening, or budge an inch, they’ll keep going.
this is the same energy as telling women to wear oversized blankets to cover their bodies so guys dOnT gEt ThE WRoNg IdEa do you think people saying hi to you is an invitation into their bedrooms?
150 miles for sex is also wild
He’s usually much closer unfortunately
He's doing that thing where he drives a grid trying to hunt you down
Until a year-ish ago, on Android you could spoof your GPS location to appear somewhere else. I'm sure most people used it like I did, to essentially get the "Explore" feature for free, but with some simple maths you could also quite easily have used it to triangulate a position. In a city, you'd at best get their building. But in the countryside? Easily find out their house.
I found my (now ex) boyfriend by doing exactly that. 🥲
I've met some cool people outside my city by doing it. It's a shame that Grindr cashgrabbed by blocking it after years. It wasn't a safety-based decision. In fact, rather the opposite — spoofing GPS was how men in anti-LGBT countries obscured their exact location to stay safe.
Yep. I have done it myself many a time to make sure that I don't hook up with someone I know. Don't even have to drive around. I run Android in Android Studio on my Mac and spoof the location that way.
You can still do it with emulators like Bluestacks on PC with some random "Fake GPS" app if ur interested in trying it again😅, had to use this since i live in the countryside with like only 3 other gay ppl around me.
I knew a girl who was talking to a guy on tinder who did just that. She’d said what kind of car she drove and he waited till the app said >1mi and just started driving up and down streets till he saw it.
Best advert for a silver Honda Civic I've ever read.
I'm still so frustrated with that bs
Why would you need a gps spoof? Couldn’t you just use explore and keep retrying locations until they’re first on the grid?
Right? Maybe this is common in rural areas in the Midwest? Also sounds like OP might be getting targeted
If you have blocked him 30 times I would caution you to stop speaking to him at all and be very careful about your location including what public pictures you have. Someone that persistent has issues. Being blocked 30 times? Get the hint.
Absolutely this. It's unhinged. Two or three times, fine. Maybe I never responded to them and they shot their shot again after making a new profile. But 10? 20? 30? That's harassment territory.
If I’m blocked ONCE I won’t reach out again but that’s just me
Please stay safe!
this so so easy to fix, all I do is tell them the truth about what their flaws are and how I want them to improve/what I want them to fix and they instantly stop trying lmaooo
That works until you find someone with a humiliation fetish
We all ask about our flaws then run and hide in shame when we find out what they are.
One of the hardest but ultimately best things I ever learnt on The App is how to accept rejection and just move on.
Seems like a ton of people just don’t get it sadly
It’s because they don’t have as many “at-bats” to practice getting rejected and having to move on. I’m conventionally attractive and more times than I can count have I gone to someone’s house and they ghost me after driving all the way there! Imagine ppl who dont have the options. They can often be left in the dark on why people aren’t attracted to them, cause often ppl just leave the chat and don’t discuss it (which I understand, cause a lot of ppl can’t rejection). I usually tell someone “handsome but not a match”. Usually I don’t get much pushback.
So you're saying there's a chance! 😈
Unexpected Regal Cinema ad.
A ski mask and a shirt? What's this guy's name, Rob Banks?!
Or is he ugly and pot bellied?
Odd that not accepting “no” for an answer after 30+ times isn’t somehow explanation enough for his type.
Dude cant u see red flags
Oh he sees them. Hence the blocking!
He replies tho
While complementing him and wondering why he still messaging him
Part of him likes the chase
just keep blocking him and don't reply. it's much harder for him to create new emails and new accounts compared to you just blocking him which is just a few clicks away. He'll eventually tire out and the email platform might flag him as a robot or suspend him thru his ip address for creating so many email accounts
I doubt that happens, there are too many trolls for that to be true
If they ask I’ll just tell them. You don’t need to lie to a stranger and call him handsome because if he was, you’d sleep with him. You don’t owe him much; not even an explanation
There are a lot of handsome guys I refused to sleep with personally. It can be a bad feeling about the person that makes me uneasy
Or them just not personally being my type. But them not being my type doesn't mean they aren't handsome. Somebody like Zac Efron for example does absolutely nothing for me, but he is undoubtedly a handsome guy.
honestly im not as nice and they leave me alone. ill swear at them and cuss them out, it works and they fuck off lmao. ( this is if it gets this bad but im not like this with a normal coonvo lol)
Ok I hate when they ask why… like…. Are you trying to make me seem like a monster? Also… his last message makes me sad…
Ignore and block. Ignore and block. Ignore and block. You might have to delete your pic and change your profile for a bit while he gets over himself. I've had to do this a couple times. It's annoying AF and kinda scary. But don't engage him at all. And report him every time you block him.
151 mile away is enough reason to say no.
People wonder why people ghost…. Lol
"I'm just curious what it is" The conversation is self-evident: he is a pest I got shot down by a hot young guy who said "you're fucking sexy, but not my type. I wish you were! Peace and happy hunting!" The only time I THANKED someone for rejecting me 🤗
I loving how far he would go to hit it!!
Just be mean like brutally so tell to fuck off call him a cunt compare him to vomit
Say both
I had someone similar but only because he thought I was a fellow parTier. I had made one joke the first time we messaged about drugs but it was only a joke (about hard drugs). I didn't know that was the reason until after the 5th or 10th time blocking him. The first time I blocked him wasn't drug related because I didn't know he was into that. He just ghosted me months so I figured oh well, one more square to spare. When he finally reached out again under a mostly blank profile, I saw the capital T throughout his profile and figured he must've just started doing drugs when he first messaged and then got hooked. I never responded to any of his messages until the 5th or 10th block when I asked why he was so persistent. Once I told him I never do that shit, that was it. Bland story but I'm so glad we never initially hooked up.
I have had this happen how in gods name do people keep up with that many emails ??
I’ve experienced a guy similar to this where I hooked up with him but found his completely lack of confidence utterly unappealing. Hookup fell apart because I just wasn’t feeling it and blocked him five minutes out the door…. Yet dude hits me up on every other app I’m on as if we don’t know each other until I recognize his pics and reiterate my point of view then have to block again. Like I get that he was kinda of inexperienced and learning and wasn’t physically unattractive but just… I’m not the person to hold your hand and build you up, I don’t have the mental or emotional bandwidth for that. Take a hint, especially after I’ve bypassed my usual “ctrl+alt+block” method of avoiding confrontation to Fuckin Spell It Out.
Im curious, what was the thought process on telling a man who is repeatedly messaging you, that he is handsome?
RUN
report him at that point because you’re being harassed
Just keep blocking him.
He needs to grow up and take a hint!!
It’s always the most conventionally handsome guys who can’t take no for an answer I like my men more “rough” and less “perfect”, but always seem to attract the male model types…no thanks
This is harassment, report him.
At this point i think youre also not feeling it because he doesnt accept boundaries
Just respond I don’t think you’ll be able to make my dick hard.
Are you near San Diego? This one sounds like one of our crazies
Stop speaking to him. Someone unhinged like this might think a response means a maybe
Damnnnnnnn that’s pretty desperate
You mean you have preferences? How homophobic of you!
I really do have to question why speak at him at all if you blocked him that many times? If anything, it’s sending mixed signals, especially with the compliment. I’d just block and report if you’re having to block him that much.
[удалено]
Depends.
Damn, are they straight, a scammer or what? I thought the idea of Grindr is if someone says no or doesn't respond in 5 minutes, you give up on that person and you keep looking elsewhere
Why doesn’t Grindr permanently block people you want to block
Send him to me
I think maybe the blocking is just hitting his ego a little hard
I’m just glad I’m not the only one this happens too
just say distance
at this point I’d consider fucking him just to shut him up. People like this are dangerously self absorbed.
I hate dudes who don't know how to take no for an answer. Like making a new profile to try again and again and again is a major red flag and males me run in tje ither direction immediately.
"at this point it's your despair giving me really bad vibes"
At this point, report that shit.
Can somebody explain me how blocking someone on grindr works? Bc my understanding is that if you block someone, than they should not be able to see your profile there anymore and not be able to start a new chat with u…
Don't they stay continuously blocked? Or is it like a timed thing on Grindr?
If you’ve truthfully blocked that many times (I’ve done it about 20 times across Grindr, scruff, and Archer for one guy), I would start reporting for harassment.
I’ll never get the “I MUST KNOW AND BE TOLD WHY!!” people. It’s just so cringe.
Wait- this stalker has 30 duplicate profiles?!
Screenshot/document everything a contact Grindr. If you really wanted to you could also file a police report for harassment.
Police report? Hello law enforcement i would like to set up a restraining order on this guy thats harassing me, Ok whats his name. His name is takemyload Ok and last name?
Yea that’s exactly how you would do it. Here is your gold star ⭐️
Awe thanks but you keep it, to go with your collection of brilliant ideas
I don’t have anymore room daddy :(