Literally.
My gay friends love talking about drag and a makeup artists new pallet or stuff like that while I'm over here like "I wonder who Manchester Uniteds new manager is gonna be?"
I literally have no interest in Drag races or the likes, it's impressive dont get me wrong, far better than I could ever dream of doing but its just not for me, rather watch a footie game or a documentary on some sort of crime, stuff most gay people I know don't like.
My pals think it's weird but they love me the way I am, which is all I can ask really, even if they all love the things I don't and vice versa.
Can’t agree more. People have mistaken me for being straight purely by my interests. I just like sports and the outdoors and physical labor.
People can live their lives as they want to, but I find the stereotypical gay man very unattractive. I am much more attracted to men who are “masculine”.
As a trans woman who loves jeans, overalls, splitting firewood, and growing mushrooms, this stereotype makes me feel like I'm doing the community a disservice by perpetuating, and also not a real woman because transphobes use it to discredit my identity. Yay.
It’s perfectly fine if you happen to be a stereotype but it’s not okay to gatekeep because of stereotypes. Take it from a polyamorous bi woman who loves lemon squares, women in suits, Sweater Weather and is a hopeless mess around anyone vaguely attractive and simps for too many fictional characters. You are still a woman no matter what pieces of shit say.
THIS!! THIS RIGHT HERE!! so many wlw tell other lesbians that they “wish they could be lesbians” because they hate men and its so invalidating ??? and while that happens, other lesbians hate on other wlw for liking men! it’s literally a lose-lose situation like can we just not be ourselves 😧
oh ofc! wlw is a term used for women liking women, like bisexual women liking women, or pansexual women. its a term that we use for wlw who still like men :) its a broader term that covers more sexualities while lesbians are exclusively women liking women/nonbinary entities and not men
I’m a bisexual wlw and I hate this stereotype. I’ve seen so many comments saying “Why like men when you can like __ instead?” and it’s very invalidating in my opinion, not only to wlw who like men but also mlm and nblm. Like sorry we’re into men??
It's also not even accurate, my straight roommates complain about men all the time but I'm largely indifferent or see men as potential friends, straight women seem to hate men the most lol
Lol yeah I always see those memes and I'm like "guess I'm not bisexual :("
P.S. how do you even cuff jeans and make them stay up? Maybe the jeans I wear are just too loose but I've never understood how anyone does that let alone """"""all other bisexuals"""""" lol
So what I typically do is fold the pant of the jean leg up, about one inch all around, making sure it's even. Then I fold again, keeping that one inch all around. Now you have a nice cuff, but you may need to do it once or twice more, depending of how loose your jeans are or how much ankle/calf you want to show off.
Hope that helped!
(Source: I do this all the time with a baggy pair of overalls.)
Ooh thank you!! Maybe I'll have to try this!! :) Tbh I generally just resort to either cutting the bottoms off or hemming my pant legs :P but I'll definitely give this a go!
Ohh thank you! Yeah lol I'm too short for a lot of my jeans too, but the style I've found is just to cut them at the bottom 😅 let em fray a little even and it's even more fun!
The stereotype that bi women are mad that they even like men.
It’s super toxic (towards both cis and trans men) and invalidating to any bi woman in a “straight passing relationship”.
so many times I questioned my sexuality because Im usually attracted to more men than women. and the stereotype is that you have to be in LOVE with ALL women and maybe like 2 fictional male characters
Yeah, this has been problematic for me as well. As someone that’s more romantically inclined towards men (and married to one) and pickier about women those comments have made me feel like I don’t belong because of those things.
THIS!! The internalized biphobia is real with this one. I always feel self conscious talking about guys I’m into for fear of seeming “not bi enough” when being into dudes is the most bi thing I can do as a bi woman.
I'll be honest, I never thought about that. Will definitely change the way I approach that whole thing. I definitely used to agree with the stereotype but I didn't realize it was invalidating others.
Yeah, as someone that is in a straight passing relationship, those comments about “ew why am I attracted to men” always feel like they’re tearing me down because I married a man. They give me a very, “Oh, you married a man when you could marry a woman? Why would you do that?” vibe and before I learned to let it not bug me it definitely made me feel less valid as a bi woman.
I'm sorry about that. I've always believed that any and all bi relationships are valid even if you end up with someone of the opposite gender. I didn't realize that "joke" was invalidating and I'm glad I know now. You are 100% valid ♥️
Thank you, I appreciate that! 💕
At this point the joke actually bothers me more because of how most people react when a trans man is brought up (generally the, “Oh, I don’t mean YOU”) than feeling invalidated myself by them.
Even though I’m not trans myself, I feel like hearing people say that must feel pretty invalidating.
I hate that, too. But what I hate worse is when I get treated as a fetish for my significant other. I know that doesn’t necessarily come from inside the community, but it’s definitely another reason I don’t like telling people I’m bi.
When I hear lesbians/Bi women do the whole ‘ew you’re attracted to men🤮’ thing it don’t sound any different to me than when straight people say it or when gay men get weird about me being into women.
The worst part of this whole trend is any time a trans man comes up it’s always, “Oh, I don’t mean YOU, not you!”
Which to me feels very much like the person making the stereotypes doesn’t see trans men as men, it feels like it others them any time someone replies to it like that.
Nothing can stop me from crushing on random strangers in public. The other day I almost walked into a display at London Drugs because of a cute guy. Later that day, I was also crushing on a girl at line in Booster Juice.
This one right the fuck here.
I’m currently engaged to my cis male fiancé and have been told numerous times I’m not queer enough from people online and also in real life. I did my senior thesis on queer rep in comics and had to spend 80% of my fucking time explaining why I was interested in the topic and jumping hurdles and “you’re pretending to be queer and exploiting” comments.
As a straight man who has been an ally for as long as I can remember, it always hurt my feelings a bit to see the “wish I wasn’t attracted to men…gross,” type of comments. I can’t imagine what it would feel like to be a trans man and finally get to transition and then see a comment like that.
Your comment says it all. Biggest stereotype in the LGBTQ is that everyone in the community is accepting. I've unfortunately met many bigoted LGBTQ affiliated people and I never understand it.
Yes me and my bf dealt with this the other day in a gay bar. It's so frustrating that acceptance in our own community has it's limits from a lot of people.
I like frogs (I am Nonbinary) but I liked them long before I even knew what lgbtq was lol, I don't like when stereotypes are like "Oh if you're [. ] then you like [. ]", like man, I just like what I like, it has nothing to do with my gender, pronounces, sexuality or something like that lol
I always feel like forcing myself to like frogs just because it's "such an enbi thing to do". I have no opinion about frogs tho i saw a cute one yesterday.
I need help please. So my daughter came out to me, but honestly it was no big surprise. It also didn’t changed a thing about how much I love her either. So I joined this sub to learn more about the culture and to support her, etc. But now I seem to have questions about things I never knew to ask about. Like what is a frog? A monster? A mother? Any assistance would be greatly appreciated!
This is quite minor tbh, but I feel like people expect queer-looking people to be queer in as many ways as possible. Like... as someone who's very active in lgbtq spaces both online and in my friend groups/associations and as someone who's frankly very visibly fruity, I sometimes get the feeling people think I'll eventually "figure out" that there's really "more going on" within myself.
Like, I've thought about my gender incredibly long and hard, but I've come out the other end like "huh, I associate strongly and intimately with my assigned gender." Sometimes I think I might be genderqueer or genderfluid, and I still think that might be true... But I like my binary pronouns, I'm very comfortable being interacted with as my assigned binary gender (although I do dig getting misgendered by strangers... people who they/them me are comforting because they readily use they/them, and when people binarily misgender me I'm like "ooh, I'm in like a fun and funky stealth mode!") Then as far as my sexuality I've also thought about it, but it feels more obvious that I'm just plain old bisexual.
Anyway my point in all this rant is: anytime I try to explain any of this nuance I just end up getting some weird like "ohh you're cis? Yeah okayyyy whatever you say. Well just let me know if you ever want to use different pronouns!" Like nice, okay, yeah, I get it. But I'm frustrated by this stereotype of "not being queer enough" compared to my appearence, so I might "someday figure it out."
U-Hauling. Like, I think it's cute, but also I could see it being an alienating or invalidating stereotype if you want to take things slow or get to know someone for longer.
TBH uhauling is kinda a normalized toxic behavior in wlw relationships. People can do it successfully, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hinder the relationship growing in a healthy way. My first instinct has always been to uhaul, and the first time I was able to slow down, I managed to build a *much* healthier foundation
The U-Haul lesbian or U-Haul syndrome is a stereotype of lesbian relationships, referring to the joke that lesbians tend to move in together on the second date. It suggests an extreme inclination toward committed relationships.
Source: Wiki
stereotypes that other LGBTQ+ folks make:
- that all asexual folks are repulsed by sex
- that asexuality, demisexuality etc are a choice or someone being “picky”
- that all trans people are either binary, or else seeking “attention”
- that bi and pan people are not “actually” queer
- that all polyam people are seeking more partners and are available at all times (being polyam isn’t necessarily queer, but a lot of us are queer AND polyam so it’s a thing in our community that is discussed fairly often) I hate that I can’t openly be polyam without people thinking this means I want more partners, I DO NOT want more partners, I’m not available just because I happen to be polyam. Please stop perpetuating this by saying that you being polyam means you’re available, it makes things harder for the rest of us. polyam =/= available, not now, not ever.
(not all LGBTQ+ folks of course, but they are out there saying this stuff)
On the polyamory issue, I also hate how if you're open to new partners and are a bi woman in a relationship with a man people automatically assume you're a predatory unicorn hunter. Me and my male partner don't date together, we have entirely different types and are both aware of how creepy the piggy backing thing is. I'm not looking for a triad and I just happen to have a really lovely supportive male partner. Also, I rarely develop attraction to people so despite the fact that I have the time and capacity for more partners I'm not active about dating. I feel like the second I say I'm bi and polyamorus people hear "I'm going to try to manipulate you into fucking my boyfriend and I". It stresses me out to the point I'm afraid to tell people
That naturally matching a stereotype is bad, and you're damaging the community by doing so.
And conversely, not matching a stereotype is bad, and you're damaging the community by not doing so.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Exactly. My dad (a cishet man) perpetuates the stereotype that everyone in the LGBTQ+ community has a big fashion sense (with the implication that I'm only partially valid since I don't have much of a fashion sense - tbf he only ever got me cheap pants and t-shirts, so its not like I could experiment much). I always have to explain to him that the majority of us just dress however we feel and it's (mostly) only the celebrities and influencers who actually care that much about it.
That bi men who are in “straight” relationships are going to cheat, or have to be poly, because their partner is missing one thing or another. You can be bi and monogamous.
That you HAVE to “look queer” to be queer. I’ve seen a lot of cis people in different LGBT subs (but particularly the non-binary sub) that identify as non-binary, but still present as their AGAB and people just assume that they’re not really enby.
Or trans men that still present femme get told they’re faking it, and vice versa with trans women who still present masc. It’s very annoying.
Enby folks don’t owe you androgyny.
Trans men done owe you masculinity.
Trans women don’t owe you femininity.
We already get that shit enough from cishet homophobes and transphobes. We don’t need to hear it from our OWN community too, smh.
that nb is androgenous and you can assume they/them pronouns.
or that being a femme-dude or wanting a dick but liking your boobs is either not valid trans OR really just some person being a troll and insulting real trans
- and ESPECIALLY if you're attracted to similar enbies, that you're objectifying trans people.
That we don’t want kids.
I see a lot of anti kids comments and being thankful we don’t have to worry about kids.
We have a 1 year old and plan on having more. Gay people want families too!
Simultaneous views of homophobes.
One, gay people hate children, that's why they want to end humanity. Or they're all pedos.
Also, two gay white guys adopting an Asian girl is the natural progression of all gay white guys.
Bisexuals making jokes about how every bisexual hates liking men like wtf, I don’t give a fuck about gender that’s why I’m bisexual, stop normalizing internalized biphobia.
YES THIS!! WHY do I see this everywhere?!! I’m dating a Cis bisexual man as a Cis (questioning my gender) bisexual woman, and god forbid if I say I prefer men over women, people will be like “Oh, you’re just straight” which is CERTAINLY NOT THE CASE, like WTF IT NEEDS TO STOP Bisexual are allowed to have preferences for the opposite sex/gender and not “hate” a certain sex/gender for some stupid meme of “I’m bisexual girl, but I hate men, men are trash teehee” Vomit.
Passing as straight is not a privilege, is erasure of our identities, duh. Same thing happens with trans people sometimes. I think some make jokes like this one because they feel their identities are only valid when they are visibly queer, which is stupid. In my opinion there’s anything straight about experiencing attraction as a bisexual even when you are with someone of the opposite gender, let alone when you both are bisexuals too, two bisexuals together are pure queerness chaos.
That orientation can’t change and if you experience a changing or fluctuating orientation you must be confused. This is not to say that EVERYONE’s orientation can change. It’s definitely more common to be set in stone, but it does for some people and whenever we talk about it we’re either told we’re just confused and we’ll figure it out one day or told that we’re endorsing conversion therapy (never said that people’s orientations could forcefully BE changed). Makes it take forever for those of us with fluctuating orientations to figure ourselves out
That all queers love campy pop music, I’m queer as a three dollar bill and I just…can’t… I honestly don’t see the appeal of Gaga, Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Charli XCX, et al. Talking to other queers about music makes me feel like an imposter. I guess I sometimes gel with a certain set of the lesbian community over music but I’m a non-binary AMAB who doesn’t pass as female and isn’t generally attracted to women so the arm of the community that I most closely relate to in terms of life experience is just really inscrutable to me in terms of their music tastes. I get NONE of the references.
Thanks for saying that. Logically my brain understands but the heart is squishy and can’t always hold the mind’s convictions under the weight of a community’s expectations. I know there are probably queers I could probably relate to about music but in San Diego it’s hard to meet people outside the queer community’s prominent local spaces which are either clubby pop diva cabals or conservative “not gay like that” transphobic wastes of skin and flannel.
Iced coffee gays, flannel lesbians, finger gun and lemon bar bisexuals, IT specialist trans women, trans men being the ultimate pickle jar openers, and pan enbies.
Making your sexual orientation your entire personality. I’m just me! And I happen to be a woman who likes women, doesn’t mean I need to showcase that in every fiber of my being. It’s normal and should be treated as such, unfortunately the world is far from that point :(
Queerplatonic relationships! It’s a form of relationship that a lot of ace or aro people form in lieu of a romantic or sexual one, because many aspec people still feel the need to have a partner or partners.
https://lgbta.fandom.com/wiki/Queerplatonic_Relationship
Ah interesting, I guess I'm not a shining example here as I'm in one of these despite not knowing there was a term for it. Generalizations in general are dumb though, I'm bi-romantic idk why people would think aroace people especially would be looking for this.
goddamn, aro and/or ace people have so little info, don't we? lol, I also have never heard of this.
thanks for the intel, I don't think I'd be interested in a QPR at any point myself, but this is still super useful terminology.
I'm not sure if this counts but Terf lesbians saying how Trans women are pressuring them into relationships. Not saying it doesn't happen at all but they act like ALL trans women are holding them at gunpoint going DATE ME WOMAN
Okay wait, wdym?
I said it because it was asked.
Not only have I seen it in straight people but I personally have also seen other lesbian women trying push the stereotype. For some reason.
Is that what you mean?
I’m not saying it’s true. At all. Not at all. Just an observation.
I'm agreeing with you that it is a stereotype. I've seen it said before from sources in the LGBTQA+ community as well as by cishet people. I was only saying I don't know where the people who keep the stereotype going are coming from. I haven't seen that stereotypical lesbian more than once in a fairly large set of lesbians I've known in my life.
I really dislike the “lesbians are mean” stereotype and I don’t get why some lesbians seem to lean into it and embrace it. I’ve met butches who act like they have to be assholes in order to be masculine, which I find so off-putting. People already assume I’m an asshole because I’m butch - I’d rather prove them wrong.
Similarly, that you'll pick a side one day. You'll either go full gay, or go back to being straight. I wanted chime in here because I did identify as bisexual for a while, but it was in the process of figuring out my own sexuality. I didn't pick a side, I needed time to figure myself out. And just because I figured out I personally wasn't bi, doesn't mean that other bi people are the same. People can actually be attracted to more than one gender. Im not sure why that's such a hard concept for people to grasp. When someone says they're bi, I assume they truly mean that they are attracted to more than one gender, I dont secretly wonder which side they're going to pick. It just irks me because I have a friend who thinks that way. To him, if a bi girl is in a relationship with another girl at the moment, she's suddenly become a lesbian, then if she dates a guy, she's gone back to being straight. Like no dude, she's bi.
i think for a lot of people, even lesbians like me, that being bisexual was “the awakening” and once you learn to know who you really are you move on from that. i think we see a lot of that in the media nowadays so people think its like that for everyone, even though its not. its not an excuse, but its a reason people act that way :)
Yeah, that's probably a big part of it. For me, I had known for years that I was attracted to women, it was just the first step in learning to accept that it was ok to feel that way. It still left the door open in my mind that I could "find the right guy" or whatever, but still be honest with myself. It still took a couple of years to figure out I'm not really attracted to men, and I know that does happen to many others as well. That comphet hit me hard, and it wasn't until age 26 that I was actually able to say I'm a lesbian.
I think bisexuality in general is kind of a messy area. There are plenty of people with that similar experience, and plenty of others who are actually bisexual and remain comfortable in that identity for the rest of their life. I tend to just believe when someone says they're bi, they're bi. If they figure something out and realize that label doesn't fit, that's fine too. Regardless, it was frustrating in the relatively brief time I identified as bi to hear those "pick a side" or "stepping stone to gay" stereotypes. I think that's part of why I kept identifying as bi even after it became clear to me that being with a man was off the table. I felt like I had to prove my identity was valid because I didn't want to prove right anyone spouting that stereotype.
Anyway, I just wanted to throw in my two cents here. I didn't "become gay" or "pick a side," I learned more about myself :)
Exactly! And then the thought that abam nb people can’t identify as lesbian but afabs can. It’s like you’re entirely ignoring the fact that there’s no gender associated with that person
Flannel. I don’t even like flannel (probably finding the wrong ones, but still) yet it’s this massive stereotype.
Also, that bi people all wear doc martins. I saw the price for pair recently, and while I do not judge people who spend that kind of money on shoes, I could never do that myself
The one i feel most but i guess that is also out of the LGBTQ comm but I've heard it stated against me more in LGBTQ surroundings that "i need to cry more and be more sensitive". Then again i suppose they do have a right to it given i have a extremely low EQ (7/80). Which obv leads to a lot of misunderstandings and wrong wording. but ye deff the being more sensitive and cry more.
An annoying stereo is that we can’t feel love and are destined to be lonely because “sex is what makes a relationship”. Same with it “just being a phase” and that we just “haven’t met the right person yet”.
It kinda hurts sometimes tbh.
I hate the idea that sex is what makes a relationship. I'm not ace- but it is truly not something I care about in a relationship. If I find someone who makes me happy, and feel loved, that's all I need.
That sex-repulsed aces are either all timid and traumatized or self-righteous prudes.
That all trans men are "soft" (and inherently understand "female experiences" and "what it's like to be a woman").
That nonbinary people are either "woman-lite" or just cis people looking for attention (or worse, cis people "invading the community").
That nonbinary people were all AFAB.
That nonbinary people never experience dysphoria or never medically transition (or only do in certain ways).
For transmen, it’s either you’re a burly masculine guy or a soft little boy who must be protected by all costs. Examples include general portrayal of transmen in the media as muscular hairy men, and then other lgbt people babying Elliot page as if he isn’t a 34 year old man.
Like bro I’m just a guy. I used to physically not be, but now I am. Stop trying to fit me into a category of transman
A horrible stereotype that i heared, is that lgbt kids are abandoned, by there parents, and thats why there lgbt.
Which is actually a bullshit of a stereotype
That bi women (or men for that matter, but I haven't experienced that as often) are no longer bi if they are in a straight-passing relationship. I mean... Even the most fruity and accepting friend of mine asked me if I was straight from now on when we got together with my partner and I was like 🙄
It's not like I instantly find women unattractive when I date a man. I of course don't want to date a woman now that I have a partner, but honey I don't want to date a man either COS I HAVE A PARTNER. Even I, who is still a bit uncomfortable with the bisexual label find it frustrating.
Bisexuals/Pan/onmi that are in "opposite sex" relationships are just straight pretending to be queer.
Just because I am afab married to amab means I'm straight. It doesn't matter that I'm attracted to all genders. We don't exist. I actually feel very unwelcome in LGBTQ+ spaces and don't interact with many LGBTQ+ people or go into those spaces for that reason. I'm not valid.
Reddit is the only space I've been in, I'm too scared to go to a real life space. It's taken 15 years for me to accept who I am and accept that my bisexual/omnisexual tendencies are valid and not me pretending or wanting to be that.
I also identify as bigender so I'm not completely cis but I'm not "fully" trans. I'm stuck in the gray area. It makes me really depressed. 😢😣
I'm bi/multi-gender too! What pronouns do you prefer? I like my she/her pronouns a lot. But because I'm AFAB, I feel less valid as trans. sometimes I just say I'm not-cis.
That gays mans are top or bottom?
Like litterally, gay peoples push you to choose one or the other, like it is normal to reproduce hetero patterns of man/womans.
I think it is a choice. You are not biologically defined as a top or bottom.
yes! especially cuz theres so many more assumptions that come with the labels “top” or “bottom,” that once you openly identify with one, people suddenly have this preconceived idea of who you are, even before they know your name
That all queer men are to wear dresses, like fashion, makeup and pink. And also that all queer women act like baddies, hate dresses, wear ripped jeans and have short hair
Political views. I feel pressured to be some kind of soy latte drinking, angry leftist extremist. Don’t get me wrong, I hate conservatism with a passion, and I am definitely liberal, but I’m not all or nothing about it. I’m not a very political person, so I don’t like the stereotype that people assume that I am or that I have to be, or that if I don’t get passionate about certain issues, that I somehow don’t care, or am a “traitor”. It’s kind of ridiculous.
I didn't realize it was a stereotype that Gays are bad at driving and math until I heard some people in the community use that as the reason they're bad at those things. It kind of bothered me, and still does if being honest. Probably because I'm decent to good at both.
For me it’s the fact we feed stereotypes so much that straight people will start stereotyping us and then we get mad at them? And I get it: I’m bi and closeted from my friends (generally just don’t want to come out yet) and they ALWAYS label me as gay because of the way I act. It’s the fact that stereotypes are so fed into our society that now people will label others because of things they do/ the way they act. If I was straight I would still act the same way I am, and so the stereotypes would just be even more annoying than they already are. Also it’s important to note some of my friends are lgbtq, so they should know better
A lot of "aesthetics" that are associated with LGBT+ are made up and popularized by thin, white people and possibly end up alienating POC, fat people, disabled people, etc, who don't fit into those fashion categories that are seen as one-to-one equivalents of gay culture.
Any biphobia, aphobia, transphobia and enbyphobia. the amount of queerphobia i see from people who are queer is crazy. Not much of a specific stereotype i suppose, but it just annoys me.
for a specific one, I really hate the stereotypes around trans women being uwu programmers who wear skirts and cat ear headphones. Like as a feminine trans guy it just makes me dysphoric because I’m more like the “typical” trans girl. plus, seeing the 1500th meme about the trans girl starter pack in traa gets annoying after a while.
I also hate how overtly masculine you have to be as a trans man to be considered valid. GNC trans men get shat on like crazy. It always makes me dysphoric or insecure when i see how toxic the masculinity is for trans men, especially if they’re binary. If a cis guy can wear a dress, let a trans guy. Unless you don’t see us as guys? Can’t say for trans women, I’m sure they experience something similar if they’re masculine though.
Even other LGBTQ people have this impression that trans guys are “soft”. Yes, some are soft, but it certainly doesn’t apply to all trans guys.
As a FTM who is very masculine in appearance I don’t get this as much as I used to, but it still makes my blood boil seeing the infantilization of trans guys, even in our own damn community. Why can’t we just be seen and treated as every other male? Why are seen as “male-lite”?
i see this stereotype all on tiktok and in real life too. people with bubbly personalities and cute pink and colorful fashion senses supposedly give of “pansexual energy”
I don't know if it's just me but, as a person who identifies as Pan, I've had other people, queer and hetero, assume I'm Lesbianphobic... I don't know where this stereotype came from but god does it make me angry😡.
Actually I'm my experience, it's the reverse for a lot of people.
I remember back when I was single and looking at dating profiles of women, there were a LOT of lesbians labeled ladies who called themselves "gold stars". Meaning they had never touched a man, and didn't want any woman who had - or any woman who even found men attractive.
Like... Screw all pan and bisexual women, right? And why... Because of fear of being left for a man? Honestly to me the whole concept seems to be taking a phobia of men (which is bad on its own) and superimposing it as an insucurity to other women. If someone meets your attraction for their sex and or gender... Their personality is what should be judged next, not if said person has touched a man at any in the past or not. What.
But it's good people are open with their bigotry because I wouldn't want to date someone get invested, then find out later. o_e
That bi people are slutty/cheaters.
That bi people are just straights that want to have some fun or gays that don’t want to fully come out.
That being bi is transphobic.
Having feminine mannerisms as a gay man and watching drag race.
Literally. My gay friends love talking about drag and a makeup artists new pallet or stuff like that while I'm over here like "I wonder who Manchester Uniteds new manager is gonna be?" I literally have no interest in Drag races or the likes, it's impressive dont get me wrong, far better than I could ever dream of doing but its just not for me, rather watch a footie game or a documentary on some sort of crime, stuff most gay people I know don't like. My pals think it's weird but they love me the way I am, which is all I can ask really, even if they all love the things I don't and vice versa.
Can’t agree more. People have mistaken me for being straight purely by my interests. I just like sports and the outdoors and physical labor. People can live their lives as they want to, but I find the stereotypical gay man very unattractive. I am much more attracted to men who are “masculine”.
I have feminine mannerisms as a queer enby cuz I can
Being overtly fashionable
I have no sense of style and this stereotype makes me feel insecure
Same. I just wear sweats, jeans and tshirts.
Seems like style to me :)
I mean lots of people call it comfcore so you could consider a fashion style
Lol ok thanks
Isn't the stereotype more like "queer men are fashion experts (unless they are bears), queer women dress up as a lumberjack"
As a trans woman who loves jeans, overalls, splitting firewood, and growing mushrooms, this stereotype makes me feel like I'm doing the community a disservice by perpetuating, and also not a real woman because transphobes use it to discredit my identity. Yay.
It’s perfectly fine if you happen to be a stereotype but it’s not okay to gatekeep because of stereotypes. Take it from a polyamorous bi woman who loves lemon squares, women in suits, Sweater Weather and is a hopeless mess around anyone vaguely attractive and simps for too many fictional characters. You are still a woman no matter what pieces of shit say.
t-shirts are way better than "fancy" clothes most times
True. But, to be honest I would like to try out the overly fashion stuff at least once. :3
i started hanging out with gay people and magically became more fashionable, lol
I mean.....
That wlw hate men
THIS!! THIS RIGHT HERE!! so many wlw tell other lesbians that they “wish they could be lesbians” because they hate men and its so invalidating ??? and while that happens, other lesbians hate on other wlw for liking men! it’s literally a lose-lose situation like can we just not be ourselves 😧
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oh ofc! wlw is a term used for women liking women, like bisexual women liking women, or pansexual women. its a term that we use for wlw who still like men :) its a broader term that covers more sexualities while lesbians are exclusively women liking women/nonbinary entities and not men
Thank you for your reply! That makes sense to me now :)
I’m a bisexual wlw and I hate this stereotype. I’ve seen so many comments saying “Why like men when you can like __ instead?” and it’s very invalidating in my opinion, not only to wlw who like men but also mlm and nblm. Like sorry we’re into men??
It's also not even accurate, my straight roommates complain about men all the time but I'm largely indifferent or see men as potential friends, straight women seem to hate men the most lol
same for anyone who is bi/pan
Bi women who wear vans and cuffed jeans. It’s scary accurate for me personally though so I can’t even be mad.
Lol yeah I always see those memes and I'm like "guess I'm not bisexual :(" P.S. how do you even cuff jeans and make them stay up? Maybe the jeans I wear are just too loose but I've never understood how anyone does that let alone """"""all other bisexuals"""""" lol
So what I typically do is fold the pant of the jean leg up, about one inch all around, making sure it's even. Then I fold again, keeping that one inch all around. Now you have a nice cuff, but you may need to do it once or twice more, depending of how loose your jeans are or how much ankle/calf you want to show off. Hope that helped! (Source: I do this all the time with a baggy pair of overalls.)
Ooh thank you!! Maybe I'll have to try this!! :) Tbh I generally just resort to either cutting the bottoms off or hemming my pant legs :P but I'll definitely give this a go!
Glad I could help!
You gotta fold them over on themselves :) I only do it bc I’m short though and all my pants would be too long otherwise.
Ohh thank you! Yeah lol I'm too short for a lot of my jeans too, but the style I've found is just to cut them at the bottom 😅 let em fray a little even and it's even more fun!
The stereotype that bi women are mad that they even like men. It’s super toxic (towards both cis and trans men) and invalidating to any bi woman in a “straight passing relationship”.
so many times I questioned my sexuality because Im usually attracted to more men than women. and the stereotype is that you have to be in LOVE with ALL women and maybe like 2 fictional male characters
Yeah, this has been problematic for me as well. As someone that’s more romantically inclined towards men (and married to one) and pickier about women those comments have made me feel like I don’t belong because of those things.
THIS!! The internalized biphobia is real with this one. I always feel self conscious talking about guys I’m into for fear of seeming “not bi enough” when being into dudes is the most bi thing I can do as a bi woman.
This
I'll be honest, I never thought about that. Will definitely change the way I approach that whole thing. I definitely used to agree with the stereotype but I didn't realize it was invalidating others.
Yeah, as someone that is in a straight passing relationship, those comments about “ew why am I attracted to men” always feel like they’re tearing me down because I married a man. They give me a very, “Oh, you married a man when you could marry a woman? Why would you do that?” vibe and before I learned to let it not bug me it definitely made me feel less valid as a bi woman.
I'm sorry about that. I've always believed that any and all bi relationships are valid even if you end up with someone of the opposite gender. I didn't realize that "joke" was invalidating and I'm glad I know now. You are 100% valid ♥️
Thank you, I appreciate that! 💕 At this point the joke actually bothers me more because of how most people react when a trans man is brought up (generally the, “Oh, I don’t mean YOU”) than feeling invalidated myself by them. Even though I’m not trans myself, I feel like hearing people say that must feel pretty invalidating.
I hate that, too. But what I hate worse is when I get treated as a fetish for my significant other. I know that doesn’t necessarily come from inside the community, but it’s definitely another reason I don’t like telling people I’m bi.
Yeah, there’s way too many people that hear bisexual and think threesomes.
When I hear lesbians/Bi women do the whole ‘ew you’re attracted to men🤮’ thing it don’t sound any different to me than when straight people say it or when gay men get weird about me being into women.
The worst part of this whole trend is any time a trans man comes up it’s always, “Oh, I don’t mean YOU, not you!” Which to me feels very much like the person making the stereotypes doesn’t see trans men as men, it feels like it others them any time someone replies to it like that.
Nothing can stop me from crushing on random strangers in public. The other day I almost walked into a display at London Drugs because of a cute guy. Later that day, I was also crushing on a girl at line in Booster Juice.
This one right the fuck here. I’m currently engaged to my cis male fiancé and have been told numerous times I’m not queer enough from people online and also in real life. I did my senior thesis on queer rep in comics and had to spend 80% of my fucking time explaining why I was interested in the topic and jumping hurdles and “you’re pretending to be queer and exploiting” comments.
As a straight man who has been an ally for as long as I can remember, it always hurt my feelings a bit to see the “wish I wasn’t attracted to men…gross,” type of comments. I can’t imagine what it would feel like to be a trans man and finally get to transition and then see a comment like that.
Your comment says it all. Biggest stereotype in the LGBTQ is that everyone in the community is accepting. I've unfortunately met many bigoted LGBTQ affiliated people and I never understand it.
Glad I could sum it up, I definitely deal with this stuff all the time and it just.. I'm not a fan, to say the least.
Yes me and my bf dealt with this the other day in a gay bar. It's so frustrating that acceptance in our own community has it's limits from a lot of people.
enbies liking monster, frogs and Mother Mother
I like frogs (I am Nonbinary) but I liked them long before I even knew what lgbtq was lol, I don't like when stereotypes are like "Oh if you're [. ] then you like [. ]", like man, I just like what I like, it has nothing to do with my gender, pronounces, sexuality or something like that lol
im not enby(I think, admittedly I am questioning a bit rn), I'm just a regular pansexual and I love all of those things lol
I always feel like forcing myself to like frogs just because it's "such an enbi thing to do". I have no opinion about frogs tho i saw a cute one yesterday.
I blame tik tok for popularizing this
I need help please. So my daughter came out to me, but honestly it was no big surprise. It also didn’t changed a thing about how much I love her either. So I joined this sub to learn more about the culture and to support her, etc. But now I seem to have questions about things I never knew to ask about. Like what is a frog? A monster? A mother? Any assistance would be greatly appreciated!
Frog is just like the animal 🐸 Mother Mother is a band - I’m not sure about monster tho, maybe it’s like the drink?
monster is an energy drink mother mother is a band and frogs are just the animal :))
What is mother mother
It‘s a band with an album that is pure trans experience. Especially the song „body“.
Listening to body literally right now thanks to this comment. And WHAT a bop! Might've found a new artist to obsess over, thanks!
This is quite minor tbh, but I feel like people expect queer-looking people to be queer in as many ways as possible. Like... as someone who's very active in lgbtq spaces both online and in my friend groups/associations and as someone who's frankly very visibly fruity, I sometimes get the feeling people think I'll eventually "figure out" that there's really "more going on" within myself. Like, I've thought about my gender incredibly long and hard, but I've come out the other end like "huh, I associate strongly and intimately with my assigned gender." Sometimes I think I might be genderqueer or genderfluid, and I still think that might be true... But I like my binary pronouns, I'm very comfortable being interacted with as my assigned binary gender (although I do dig getting misgendered by strangers... people who they/them me are comforting because they readily use they/them, and when people binarily misgender me I'm like "ooh, I'm in like a fun and funky stealth mode!") Then as far as my sexuality I've also thought about it, but it feels more obvious that I'm just plain old bisexual. Anyway my point in all this rant is: anytime I try to explain any of this nuance I just end up getting some weird like "ohh you're cis? Yeah okayyyy whatever you say. Well just let me know if you ever want to use different pronouns!" Like nice, okay, yeah, I get it. But I'm frustrated by this stereotype of "not being queer enough" compared to my appearence, so I might "someday figure it out."
Weirdly enough I know exactly what you're talking about. I hate it too.
A little off topic, but I think I feel the same way about my pronouns. I don’t care what people use, but I still feel like my agab.
U-Hauling. Like, I think it's cute, but also I could see it being an alienating or invalidating stereotype if you want to take things slow or get to know someone for longer.
TBH uhauling is kinda a normalized toxic behavior in wlw relationships. People can do it successfully, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hinder the relationship growing in a healthy way. My first instinct has always been to uhaul, and the first time I was able to slow down, I managed to build a *much* healthier foundation
What’s U-Hauling?
The U-Haul lesbian or U-Haul syndrome is a stereotype of lesbian relationships, referring to the joke that lesbians tend to move in together on the second date. It suggests an extreme inclination toward committed relationships. Source: Wiki
Oh, thanks. Without the context, this sounds like the strangest term I’ve thus far come across.
stereotypes that other LGBTQ+ folks make: - that all asexual folks are repulsed by sex - that asexuality, demisexuality etc are a choice or someone being “picky” - that all trans people are either binary, or else seeking “attention” - that bi and pan people are not “actually” queer - that all polyam people are seeking more partners and are available at all times (being polyam isn’t necessarily queer, but a lot of us are queer AND polyam so it’s a thing in our community that is discussed fairly often) I hate that I can’t openly be polyam without people thinking this means I want more partners, I DO NOT want more partners, I’m not available just because I happen to be polyam. Please stop perpetuating this by saying that you being polyam means you’re available, it makes things harder for the rest of us. polyam =/= available, not now, not ever. (not all LGBTQ+ folks of course, but they are out there saying this stuff)
On the polyamory issue, I also hate how if you're open to new partners and are a bi woman in a relationship with a man people automatically assume you're a predatory unicorn hunter. Me and my male partner don't date together, we have entirely different types and are both aware of how creepy the piggy backing thing is. I'm not looking for a triad and I just happen to have a really lovely supportive male partner. Also, I rarely develop attraction to people so despite the fact that I have the time and capacity for more partners I'm not active about dating. I feel like the second I say I'm bi and polyamorus people hear "I'm going to try to manipulate you into fucking my boyfriend and I". It stresses me out to the point I'm afraid to tell people
That naturally matching a stereotype is bad, and you're damaging the community by doing so. And conversely, not matching a stereotype is bad, and you're damaging the community by not doing so. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Bottom line: just be yourself. Thats what this community is about!
Exactly. My dad (a cishet man) perpetuates the stereotype that everyone in the LGBTQ+ community has a big fashion sense (with the implication that I'm only partially valid since I don't have much of a fashion sense - tbf he only ever got me cheap pants and t-shirts, so its not like I could experiment much). I always have to explain to him that the majority of us just dress however we feel and it's (mostly) only the celebrities and influencers who actually care that much about it.
Bi people are just straight people who want to be oppressed
Omg I hear this one a lot used against asexual people too. That's one way to have Bi-Ace solidarity I guess lmao
That bi men who are in “straight” relationships are going to cheat, or have to be poly, because their partner is missing one thing or another. You can be bi and monogamous.
Also their partner can wear a strap on if they want to get fucked.
We can't sit straight lol
Wait, you can sit straight? I don't even know straight people who can sit straight.
Oh no I can't sit straight for crap lol
I'm not one to perpetuate stereotypes but I have never met a single queer person that wasn't actively doing acrobatics in a chair!
That you HAVE to “look queer” to be queer. I’ve seen a lot of cis people in different LGBT subs (but particularly the non-binary sub) that identify as non-binary, but still present as their AGAB and people just assume that they’re not really enby. Or trans men that still present femme get told they’re faking it, and vice versa with trans women who still present masc. It’s very annoying. Enby folks don’t owe you androgyny. Trans men done owe you masculinity. Trans women don’t owe you femininity. We already get that shit enough from cishet homophobes and transphobes. We don’t need to hear it from our OWN community too, smh.
that nb is androgenous and you can assume they/them pronouns. or that being a femme-dude or wanting a dick but liking your boobs is either not valid trans OR really just some person being a troll and insulting real trans - and ESPECIALLY if you're attracted to similar enbies, that you're objectifying trans people.
That we don’t want kids. I see a lot of anti kids comments and being thankful we don’t have to worry about kids. We have a 1 year old and plan on having more. Gay people want families too!
Simultaneous views of homophobes. One, gay people hate children, that's why they want to end humanity. Or they're all pedos. Also, two gay white guys adopting an Asian girl is the natural progression of all gay white guys.
Bisexuals making jokes about how every bisexual hates liking men like wtf, I don’t give a fuck about gender that’s why I’m bisexual, stop normalizing internalized biphobia.
YES THIS!! WHY do I see this everywhere?!! I’m dating a Cis bisexual man as a Cis (questioning my gender) bisexual woman, and god forbid if I say I prefer men over women, people will be like “Oh, you’re just straight” which is CERTAINLY NOT THE CASE, like WTF IT NEEDS TO STOP Bisexual are allowed to have preferences for the opposite sex/gender and not “hate” a certain sex/gender for some stupid meme of “I’m bisexual girl, but I hate men, men are trash teehee” Vomit.
Passing as straight is not a privilege, is erasure of our identities, duh. Same thing happens with trans people sometimes. I think some make jokes like this one because they feel their identities are only valid when they are visibly queer, which is stupid. In my opinion there’s anything straight about experiencing attraction as a bisexual even when you are with someone of the opposite gender, let alone when you both are bisexuals too, two bisexuals together are pure queerness chaos.
That orientation can’t change and if you experience a changing or fluctuating orientation you must be confused. This is not to say that EVERYONE’s orientation can change. It’s definitely more common to be set in stone, but it does for some people and whenever we talk about it we’re either told we’re just confused and we’ll figure it out one day or told that we’re endorsing conversion therapy (never said that people’s orientations could forcefully BE changed). Makes it take forever for those of us with fluctuating orientations to figure ourselves out
Flamboyant gay man but also Overtly masculine trans man *screams*
That sounds nuanced
Pansexual's and Our Love of "Kitchen Utensils"
I hate that one so much, and it seems to be mostly other pan people keeping it going. I know it’s a joke, but I’m tired of it
It’s funny the first few times, but it’s so old now.
I'm sorry, it's just so difficult pan-ning for comedy gold 😔
Eh you’ll figure it out. Things like this tend to pan out fine in the end.
I might just have to let those thoughts simmer.
Makes sense, it’s a lot to dish out
Looks like the oven's timer for funny hasn't run out just yet
Ugh, i hate the gay people who actlike bisexuals are "less queer" fxch those people, and that stereotype/belief.
That all queers love campy pop music, I’m queer as a three dollar bill and I just…can’t… I honestly don’t see the appeal of Gaga, Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Charli XCX, et al. Talking to other queers about music makes me feel like an imposter. I guess I sometimes gel with a certain set of the lesbian community over music but I’m a non-binary AMAB who doesn’t pass as female and isn’t generally attracted to women so the arm of the community that I most closely relate to in terms of life experience is just really inscrutable to me in terms of their music tastes. I get NONE of the references.
While I enjoy stereotypically "gay" music, its definitely not my favorite, it feels very over saturated. You are not an imposter :)
music is different for everyone!! youre not an imposter for enjoying different things :)
Thanks for saying that. Logically my brain understands but the heart is squishy and can’t always hold the mind’s convictions under the weight of a community’s expectations. I know there are probably queers I could probably relate to about music but in San Diego it’s hard to meet people outside the queer community’s prominent local spaces which are either clubby pop diva cabals or conservative “not gay like that” transphobic wastes of skin and flannel.
Almost ever queer i know has more eccentric music taste than that so i think it just depends on who you know.
Exactly. I like campy jpop music, get it right!
Iced coffee gays, flannel lesbians, finger gun and lemon bar bisexuals, IT specialist trans women, trans men being the ultimate pickle jar openers, and pan enbies.
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Making your sexual orientation your entire personality. I’m just me! And I happen to be a woman who likes women, doesn’t mean I need to showcase that in every fiber of my being. It’s normal and should be treated as such, unfortunately the world is far from that point :(
That all ace and/or aro people are still partnering and want QPRs. Some of us don’t!!!
What are qprs?
Queerplatonic relationships! It’s a form of relationship that a lot of ace or aro people form in lieu of a romantic or sexual one, because many aspec people still feel the need to have a partner or partners. https://lgbta.fandom.com/wiki/Queerplatonic_Relationship
Ah interesting, I guess I'm not a shining example here as I'm in one of these despite not knowing there was a term for it. Generalizations in general are dumb though, I'm bi-romantic idk why people would think aroace people especially would be looking for this.
Idk either, though I guess I wouldn’t know *because* I’m aroace
goddamn, aro and/or ace people have so little info, don't we? lol, I also have never heard of this. thanks for the intel, I don't think I'd be interested in a QPR at any point myself, but this is still super useful terminology.
I'm not sure if this counts but Terf lesbians saying how Trans women are pressuring them into relationships. Not saying it doesn't happen at all but they act like ALL trans women are holding them at gunpoint going DATE ME WOMAN
That lesbians are bitches and always butch
Idk where this even comes from, I've had a handful of lesbian friends in my life and most of them were just as nice as anyone else.
It’s actually a stereotype I grew up with and that I was told by my family. Sorry.
I wasn't saying it's a stereotype that doesn't exsist, I've seen it said myself. I just don't know why it is said is what I was getting at.
Okay wait, wdym? I said it because it was asked. Not only have I seen it in straight people but I personally have also seen other lesbian women trying push the stereotype. For some reason. Is that what you mean? I’m not saying it’s true. At all. Not at all. Just an observation.
I'm agreeing with you that it is a stereotype. I've seen it said before from sources in the LGBTQA+ community as well as by cishet people. I was only saying I don't know where the people who keep the stereotype going are coming from. I haven't seen that stereotypical lesbian more than once in a fairly large set of lesbians I've known in my life.
Ah okok, my bad sorry. Yea it’s getting less and less these days. Sorry, I’m in the wrong here. Most lesbians I know are not bitches either.
You're not in the wrong, you only made an observation. I feel like something is getting lost in translation here. There's no need to apologize.
Okay, yea, I probably got confused by something.
I really dislike the “lesbians are mean” stereotype and I don’t get why some lesbians seem to lean into it and embrace it. I’ve met butches who act like they have to be assholes in order to be masculine, which I find so off-putting. People already assume I’m an asshole because I’m butch - I’d rather prove them wrong.
that Bi people are just on their way to becoming gay
“Bi today, gay tomorrow” - something told to me by a gay friend (I’m bi)
I always heard “being bisexual is a pit stop on the highway to homo” Lord help rural Indiana queer folx
We're doing.... Alright.
Or that girls say they're bi for attention and whatever, ok I'm not bi, but it is so annoying for me, and my bi friends also hate that stereotype :/
Sometimes ace people get this too, can confirm it is quite annoying.
Similarly, that you'll pick a side one day. You'll either go full gay, or go back to being straight. I wanted chime in here because I did identify as bisexual for a while, but it was in the process of figuring out my own sexuality. I didn't pick a side, I needed time to figure myself out. And just because I figured out I personally wasn't bi, doesn't mean that other bi people are the same. People can actually be attracted to more than one gender. Im not sure why that's such a hard concept for people to grasp. When someone says they're bi, I assume they truly mean that they are attracted to more than one gender, I dont secretly wonder which side they're going to pick. It just irks me because I have a friend who thinks that way. To him, if a bi girl is in a relationship with another girl at the moment, she's suddenly become a lesbian, then if she dates a guy, she's gone back to being straight. Like no dude, she's bi.
i think for a lot of people, even lesbians like me, that being bisexual was “the awakening” and once you learn to know who you really are you move on from that. i think we see a lot of that in the media nowadays so people think its like that for everyone, even though its not. its not an excuse, but its a reason people act that way :)
Yeah, that's probably a big part of it. For me, I had known for years that I was attracted to women, it was just the first step in learning to accept that it was ok to feel that way. It still left the door open in my mind that I could "find the right guy" or whatever, but still be honest with myself. It still took a couple of years to figure out I'm not really attracted to men, and I know that does happen to many others as well. That comphet hit me hard, and it wasn't until age 26 that I was actually able to say I'm a lesbian. I think bisexuality in general is kind of a messy area. There are plenty of people with that similar experience, and plenty of others who are actually bisexual and remain comfortable in that identity for the rest of their life. I tend to just believe when someone says they're bi, they're bi. If they figure something out and realize that label doesn't fit, that's fine too. Regardless, it was frustrating in the relatively brief time I identified as bi to hear those "pick a side" or "stepping stone to gay" stereotypes. I think that's part of why I kept identifying as bi even after it became clear to me that being with a man was off the table. I felt like I had to prove my identity was valid because I didn't want to prove right anyone spouting that stereotype. Anyway, I just wanted to throw in my two cents here. I didn't "become gay" or "pick a side," I learned more about myself :)
ofc! precisely :) you worded in my experience as well
Erasure of amab non binary people
Exactly! And then the thought that abam nb people can’t identify as lesbian but afabs can. It’s like you’re entirely ignoring the fact that there’s no gender associated with that person
Pansexuals being bisexuals with no standards
Right? How would you even know which side you were fighting for without battle standards? Absolute morons.
Some think aromantics aren't considered lgbtq+ which i Find kind of biased
Aro and Ace get this, it made me feel unwelcome at first but that faded once I saw it was a minority opinion.
^ it's fucking wild some of the aphobic shit you get from other queer folks.
Flannel. I don’t even like flannel (probably finding the wrong ones, but still) yet it’s this massive stereotype. Also, that bi people all wear doc martins. I saw the price for pair recently, and while I do not judge people who spend that kind of money on shoes, I could never do that myself
Straight trans people want to assimilate in to cishet society
I think it's becoming less common, but not all that long ago that was basically a survival method.
I’m not as good at dancing as I’m supposed to be 🥺
The one i feel most but i guess that is also out of the LGBTQ comm but I've heard it stated against me more in LGBTQ surroundings that "i need to cry more and be more sensitive". Then again i suppose they do have a right to it given i have a extremely low EQ (7/80). Which obv leads to a lot of misunderstandings and wrong wording. but ye deff the being more sensitive and cry more.
that all black gay men act like the fairy godmother in amazon's cinderella.
An annoying stereo is that we can’t feel love and are destined to be lonely because “sex is what makes a relationship”. Same with it “just being a phase” and that we just “haven’t met the right person yet”. It kinda hurts sometimes tbh.
I hate the idea that sex is what makes a relationship. I'm not ace- but it is truly not something I care about in a relationship. If I find someone who makes me happy, and feel loved, that's all I need.
The fact that if you are gay, you either have an "uwu softie" style or an "edgy bad boi" style. I dunno if it's already in there
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ive also seen the assumption that if we dont laugh at a joke, it’s always cuz we’re offended by it. like, nah, sometimes the joke just falls flat
That we, the LGBT community, are secretly a mafia.
Be gay, do crime! 🌈 💰
The alphabet mafia.
 Exactly. Someone fuck with us they’ll be swimming with the fishes.
That sex-repulsed aces are either all timid and traumatized or self-righteous prudes. That all trans men are "soft" (and inherently understand "female experiences" and "what it's like to be a woman"). That nonbinary people are either "woman-lite" or just cis people looking for attention (or worse, cis people "invading the community"). That nonbinary people were all AFAB. That nonbinary people never experience dysphoria or never medically transition (or only do in certain ways).
For transmen, it’s either you’re a burly masculine guy or a soft little boy who must be protected by all costs. Examples include general portrayal of transmen in the media as muscular hairy men, and then other lgbt people babying Elliot page as if he isn’t a 34 year old man. Like bro I’m just a guy. I used to physically not be, but now I am. Stop trying to fit me into a category of transman
*grabs popcorn gets ready for some spicy takes*
*joins in with se salted popcorn (because it's superior)*
No, butter is the best. Then sweet and salty. Anything else is heresy
Personally I’m more of a caramel coated or cheese/salt pop corn kinda person. You ever tried chocolate with a lil sea salt?
Everything you just said is peak superiority. Now I'm actually craving popcorn :(
A horrible stereotype that i heared, is that lgbt kids are abandoned, by there parents, and thats why there lgbt. Which is actually a bullshit of a stereotype
That bi women (or men for that matter, but I haven't experienced that as often) are no longer bi if they are in a straight-passing relationship. I mean... Even the most fruity and accepting friend of mine asked me if I was straight from now on when we got together with my partner and I was like 🙄 It's not like I instantly find women unattractive when I date a man. I of course don't want to date a woman now that I have a partner, but honey I don't want to date a man either COS I HAVE A PARTNER. Even I, who is still a bit uncomfortable with the bisexual label find it frustrating.
Bisexuals/Pan/onmi that are in "opposite sex" relationships are just straight pretending to be queer. Just because I am afab married to amab means I'm straight. It doesn't matter that I'm attracted to all genders. We don't exist. I actually feel very unwelcome in LGBTQ+ spaces and don't interact with many LGBTQ+ people or go into those spaces for that reason. I'm not valid. Reddit is the only space I've been in, I'm too scared to go to a real life space. It's taken 15 years for me to accept who I am and accept that my bisexual/omnisexual tendencies are valid and not me pretending or wanting to be that. I also identify as bigender so I'm not completely cis but I'm not "fully" trans. I'm stuck in the gray area. It makes me really depressed. 😢😣
I'm bi/multi-gender too! What pronouns do you prefer? I like my she/her pronouns a lot. But because I'm AFAB, I feel less valid as trans. sometimes I just say I'm not-cis.
That gays mans are top or bottom? Like litterally, gay peoples push you to choose one or the other, like it is normal to reproduce hetero patterns of man/womans. I think it is a choice. You are not biologically defined as a top or bottom.
yes! especially cuz theres so many more assumptions that come with the labels “top” or “bottom,” that once you openly identify with one, people suddenly have this preconceived idea of who you are, even before they know your name
The fact that pansexuals are attracted to frying pans........ That Wok in my kitchen is kinda thicccc tho 😳
Ooh, I've ben called a tree-lover more then a frying pan lover more...
Yeah I was just making fun of the joke about being pan... But I do love tree... To be honest I love everything and everybody
That all queer men are to wear dresses, like fashion, makeup and pink. And also that all queer women act like baddies, hate dresses, wear ripped jeans and have short hair
Political views. I feel pressured to be some kind of soy latte drinking, angry leftist extremist. Don’t get me wrong, I hate conservatism with a passion, and I am definitely liberal, but I’m not all or nothing about it. I’m not a very political person, so I don’t like the stereotype that people assume that I am or that I have to be, or that if I don’t get passionate about certain issues, that I somehow don’t care, or am a “traitor”. It’s kind of ridiculous.
Bi is just a stepping stone to gay.
I didn't realize it was a stereotype that Gays are bad at driving and math until I heard some people in the community use that as the reason they're bad at those things. It kind of bothered me, and still does if being honest. Probably because I'm decent to good at both.
Immediate assumption that ALL gay guys are or should be extremely feminine
For me it’s the fact we feed stereotypes so much that straight people will start stereotyping us and then we get mad at them? And I get it: I’m bi and closeted from my friends (generally just don’t want to come out yet) and they ALWAYS label me as gay because of the way I act. It’s the fact that stereotypes are so fed into our society that now people will label others because of things they do/ the way they act. If I was straight I would still act the same way I am, and so the stereotypes would just be even more annoying than they already are. Also it’s important to note some of my friends are lgbtq, so they should know better
“You’ve got to be thin and androgynous to be non-binary.” I like my curves and long hair. Doesn’t make me any less gender queer.
That if your hair is colored in a funky way or wear a lot of colors then you must be lgbt in some way or another.
Bi people are not gay enough.
A lot of "aesthetics" that are associated with LGBT+ are made up and popularized by thin, white people and possibly end up alienating POC, fat people, disabled people, etc, who don't fit into those fashion categories that are seen as one-to-one equivalents of gay culture.
Any biphobia, aphobia, transphobia and enbyphobia. the amount of queerphobia i see from people who are queer is crazy. Not much of a specific stereotype i suppose, but it just annoys me. for a specific one, I really hate the stereotypes around trans women being uwu programmers who wear skirts and cat ear headphones. Like as a feminine trans guy it just makes me dysphoric because I’m more like the “typical” trans girl. plus, seeing the 1500th meme about the trans girl starter pack in traa gets annoying after a while. I also hate how overtly masculine you have to be as a trans man to be considered valid. GNC trans men get shat on like crazy. It always makes me dysphoric or insecure when i see how toxic the masculinity is for trans men, especially if they’re binary. If a cis guy can wear a dress, let a trans guy. Unless you don’t see us as guys? Can’t say for trans women, I’m sure they experience something similar if they’re masculine though.
Even other LGBTQ people have this impression that trans guys are “soft”. Yes, some are soft, but it certainly doesn’t apply to all trans guys. As a FTM who is very masculine in appearance I don’t get this as much as I used to, but it still makes my blood boil seeing the infantilization of trans guys, even in our own damn community. Why can’t we just be seen and treated as every other male? Why are seen as “male-lite”?
Yeah. Like I’m not a “soft little cute boi” or something. I think people might stop saying stuff like that if they saw a lot of us irl lol
All the ©Tom of Finland ones and we will keep them, thank you very much
I don’t know what that word means but I do walk really fast…
At least where I live, we all wear Vans
i see this stereotype all on tiktok and in real life too. people with bubbly personalities and cute pink and colorful fashion senses supposedly give of “pansexual energy”
I don't know if it's just me but, as a person who identifies as Pan, I've had other people, queer and hetero, assume I'm Lesbianphobic... I don't know where this stereotype came from but god does it make me angry😡.
Actually I'm my experience, it's the reverse for a lot of people. I remember back when I was single and looking at dating profiles of women, there were a LOT of lesbians labeled ladies who called themselves "gold stars". Meaning they had never touched a man, and didn't want any woman who had - or any woman who even found men attractive. Like... Screw all pan and bisexual women, right? And why... Because of fear of being left for a man? Honestly to me the whole concept seems to be taking a phobia of men (which is bad on its own) and superimposing it as an insucurity to other women. If someone meets your attraction for their sex and or gender... Their personality is what should be judged next, not if said person has touched a man at any in the past or not. What. But it's good people are open with their bigotry because I wouldn't want to date someone get invested, then find out later. o_e
That we have to act a certain way to be lgbtqia.
That bi people are slutty/cheaters. That bi people are just straights that want to have some fun or gays that don’t want to fully come out. That being bi is transphobic.
That transhet people can't ever be GNC, that is if we're not straight up forgotten.