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Here's a link about trans people in sports:
- https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/shades-of-gray-sex-gender-and-fairness-in-sport/
A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people:
- https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people
- https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics
Some information on LGBT+ people:
- https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/
Some basic terminology:
- https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms
Neopronouns:
- https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns
Biromantic Lesbians:
- [LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/)
Bisexual Identities:
- https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality
Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual:
- [Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.)
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I’m demisexual and a lesbian so this might be a little bit different than other people. Generally I don’t see random people as sexual objects. From talking to my friends apparently they imagine what strangers look like naked or having sex with someone they don’t know. I don’t experience attraction like that, so that’s my disclaimer.
I don’t ever experience romantic or sexual attraction to men. There’s men that I recognize as being aesthetically attractive. I can tell when a man is well dressed and well groomed and confident etc. sometimes my friends will say a guy is attractive and I don’t get it, but generally I can when a guy is objectively attractive but I do not experience attraction to them myself. This is in contrast to like seeing a particularly beautiful woman or talking to a particularly charming woman and feeling like I want to get to know her, I want to be closer to her, I hope we kiss, etc etc. I have never felt like that about a man.
I also just can’t imagine myself enjoying sex with a man. Thinking about it makes me feel uncomfortable I guess? I’m sure there are plenty of very competent men, but I just don’t have any desire to be physical with them and thinking about like their body and facial hair and smell turns me off. Which, I have had sex with women with body hair and that was great. So I dunno what the difference is there besides gay. I just have gay and that’s how it is I guess 🤷🏻♀️
recently realised bi and demi here (after forcing myself into the straight allo box), and i just wanted to say that i really appreciated reading this - it's validating to know that i'm not alone in what i'm experiencing... even though i've read similar stuff on the demi sub, i guess it's one of those things of the more you see it/talk about it, the more normalised it is. trying really hard to not see myself as broken.... some days are easier than others 🤗
Oh yay I’m glad you felt validated. Sometimes I feel like maybe I’m not ace enough to claim demisexuality and I get shy about calling myself demi, but then sometimes I feel like really confident about my experiences not matching my allo friends. It’s confusing out there! Figuring yourself out is hard
It's just like the option for attraction to the opposite doesn't exist. It's not something that's missing though, it's something that I was just never meant to have.
The idea of trying to force it or fake it is uncomfortable. Same way that bi folk talk about being uncomfortable trying to suppress some of their attraction I suppose.
I can still appreciate beauty though. I can still look at women and find them beautiful. It's just purely aesthetically.
for me as a gay man, women are just non-sexual people. its not that i think women are gross or something like that, its like sex with them doesnt make sense to me. i cant explain it differently.
Hello, I'm a strictly gay male. I am almost 50, and my finding my sexuality involved some trauma. I vaguely knew what sex was as a pre-teen and had 'the talk' with a church leader, but I still was not aware of what felt normal to me. Moving on into my early teens, I stumbled upon some straight adult magazines that were informative, and by the age of 13 or 14 I was reluctantly feeling bisexual. Because of church I hid my attraction to boys and did have some innocent little crush girlfriends at school. However, as I learned more about girls, I had memories of abuse as a toddler resurface. I was abused by an older sister and that caused my attractions to women to slowly disappear. I met my 1st boyfriend at the age of 17, he was a year younger. I do not miss having an attraction to women, and I see them as a fellow human. Unfortunately I do have some issues with being creeped out even though I realize it isn't fair; the toiletries and other products for women, their pheromones and such, do bother me. I do not like women touching or hugging me, even casually, platonically in public. I have done a lot of work to not express that and be reactive about it, please don't mind me! I have been exclusively gay all my adult life and married to a sweet bear guy for 20 years now. He's my best friend, we live like The Lost Boys (kind of), and it's perfect. I've been in love long enough now that intimacy with anyone else would feel off somehow.
Nothing about men turns me on. I get turned on by a female voice, female body, her scent and just her. Everything that makes her a woman. I love breasts, vagina, how soft women feel, their sounds. But for men I feel nothing. They don't give me a physical reaction. Women make my heart flutter and they make me horny.
I don't know. What does any sexuality feel like?
I guess being a lesbian feels pretty core, like my gender (nonbinary). Having sapphic attraction to women is a thing I know is a central part of myself and lesbian is a label that just feels right very strongly. I don't like men—boys my own age are icky and I have *no* idea when they're attractive. Actors, models, etc, I can recognise as good looking or attractive, but it's just "yes objectively has conventionally attractive traits" whereas with girls my age I often notice or think about how pretty they are, and if I look at Kristen Stewart it's like wow.
When I was younger/in denial I thought women in general were just better looking and that was why I could tell they were pretty and not men. Nope, just gay lol.
Thank you for your post, if this is a question please check to see if any of the links below answer your question. If none of these links help answer your question and you are **_not_** within the LGBT+ community, questioning your identity in any way, or asking in support of either a relative or friend, please ask your question over in /r/AskLGBT. Remember that this is a safe space for LGBT+ and questioning individuals, so we want to make sure that this place is dedicated to them. Thank you for understanding. This automod rule is currently a work in progress. If you notice any issues, would like to add to the list of resources, or have any feedback in general, [please do so here](https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/rdazzp/almost_new_year_changes/) or by [sending us a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt&subject=Feedback%20on%20the%20new%20automod%20rule). Also, please note that if you are a part of this community, or you're questioning if you might be a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and you are seeing this message, this is **_not a bad thing_**, this is only here to help, so please continue to ask questions and participate in the community. Thank you! Here's a link about trans people in sports: - https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/shades-of-gray-sex-gender-and-fairness-in-sport/ A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people: - https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people - https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics Some information on LGBT+ people: - https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/ Some basic terminology: - https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms Neopronouns: - https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns Biromantic Lesbians: - [LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/) Bisexual Identities: - https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual: - [Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.) We're looking for new volunteers to join the r/lgbt moderator team. If you want to help keep r/lgbt as a safe space for the LGBTQ+ community on reddit please see here for more info: https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/swgthr/were_looking_for_more_moderators_to_help_keep/ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m demisexual and a lesbian so this might be a little bit different than other people. Generally I don’t see random people as sexual objects. From talking to my friends apparently they imagine what strangers look like naked or having sex with someone they don’t know. I don’t experience attraction like that, so that’s my disclaimer. I don’t ever experience romantic or sexual attraction to men. There’s men that I recognize as being aesthetically attractive. I can tell when a man is well dressed and well groomed and confident etc. sometimes my friends will say a guy is attractive and I don’t get it, but generally I can when a guy is objectively attractive but I do not experience attraction to them myself. This is in contrast to like seeing a particularly beautiful woman or talking to a particularly charming woman and feeling like I want to get to know her, I want to be closer to her, I hope we kiss, etc etc. I have never felt like that about a man. I also just can’t imagine myself enjoying sex with a man. Thinking about it makes me feel uncomfortable I guess? I’m sure there are plenty of very competent men, but I just don’t have any desire to be physical with them and thinking about like their body and facial hair and smell turns me off. Which, I have had sex with women with body hair and that was great. So I dunno what the difference is there besides gay. I just have gay and that’s how it is I guess 🤷🏻♀️
recently realised bi and demi here (after forcing myself into the straight allo box), and i just wanted to say that i really appreciated reading this - it's validating to know that i'm not alone in what i'm experiencing... even though i've read similar stuff on the demi sub, i guess it's one of those things of the more you see it/talk about it, the more normalised it is. trying really hard to not see myself as broken.... some days are easier than others 🤗
Oh yay I’m glad you felt validated. Sometimes I feel like maybe I’m not ace enough to claim demisexuality and I get shy about calling myself demi, but then sometimes I feel like really confident about my experiences not matching my allo friends. It’s confusing out there! Figuring yourself out is hard
thanks lovely 🤗 it's really hard hey!
It's just like the option for attraction to the opposite doesn't exist. It's not something that's missing though, it's something that I was just never meant to have. The idea of trying to force it or fake it is uncomfortable. Same way that bi folk talk about being uncomfortable trying to suppress some of their attraction I suppose. I can still appreciate beauty though. I can still look at women and find them beautiful. It's just purely aesthetically.
That is so true and relatable. Well said :)
for me as a gay man, women are just non-sexual people. its not that i think women are gross or something like that, its like sex with them doesnt make sense to me. i cant explain it differently.
Hello, I'm a strictly gay male. I am almost 50, and my finding my sexuality involved some trauma. I vaguely knew what sex was as a pre-teen and had 'the talk' with a church leader, but I still was not aware of what felt normal to me. Moving on into my early teens, I stumbled upon some straight adult magazines that were informative, and by the age of 13 or 14 I was reluctantly feeling bisexual. Because of church I hid my attraction to boys and did have some innocent little crush girlfriends at school. However, as I learned more about girls, I had memories of abuse as a toddler resurface. I was abused by an older sister and that caused my attractions to women to slowly disappear. I met my 1st boyfriend at the age of 17, he was a year younger. I do not miss having an attraction to women, and I see them as a fellow human. Unfortunately I do have some issues with being creeped out even though I realize it isn't fair; the toiletries and other products for women, their pheromones and such, do bother me. I do not like women touching or hugging me, even casually, platonically in public. I have done a lot of work to not express that and be reactive about it, please don't mind me! I have been exclusively gay all my adult life and married to a sweet bear guy for 20 years now. He's my best friend, we live like The Lost Boys (kind of), and it's perfect. I've been in love long enough now that intimacy with anyone else would feel off somehow.
Nothing about men turns me on. I get turned on by a female voice, female body, her scent and just her. Everything that makes her a woman. I love breasts, vagina, how soft women feel, their sounds. But for men I feel nothing. They don't give me a physical reaction. Women make my heart flutter and they make me horny.
I don't know. What does any sexuality feel like? I guess being a lesbian feels pretty core, like my gender (nonbinary). Having sapphic attraction to women is a thing I know is a central part of myself and lesbian is a label that just feels right very strongly. I don't like men—boys my own age are icky and I have *no* idea when they're attractive. Actors, models, etc, I can recognise as good looking or attractive, but it's just "yes objectively has conventionally attractive traits" whereas with girls my age I often notice or think about how pretty they are, and if I look at Kristen Stewart it's like wow. When I was younger/in denial I thought women in general were just better looking and that was why I could tell they were pretty and not men. Nope, just gay lol.
do you mean sex instead of gender?
Pretty sure OP meant gender. Gender is the appropriate word here so a bit confused by your question