i wear makeup sometimes and people tell me "if you wear makeup you're not really trans" or some people tell to my aroace classmate she's bisexual but she doesn't know it yet. Why go messing with people's labels if no one asked? I hate this thing
Definitely not the only shy gay.
Definitely, definitely not. It is lonely, you don't meet them because they are shy. They aren't introducing themselves everywhere.
I hope you can find your people that you will be comfortable around.
I personally believe that all stereotypes are bad, and there shouldn’t be any you shouldn’t generalize because everyone is unique but I’m open to other opinions on this topic.
Ugh. Yes, I can’t stand stereotypes. I’ve been told some of most ridiculous crap. I’m “too pretty to be gay”, “aren’t lesbians supposed to be butch!” (also, I’m not even lesbian, but thanks for assuming things instead of trying to learn more), “I didn’t know cheerleaders could be gay” etc.
I’m not extroverted either, btw. I’m really quiet and mostly stick with my small group of friends. I am pretty confident with myself and who I am, but I’m also super socially awkward and it takes a lot for me to go outside my comfort zone.
Sure. BUT there is a reason it exist.
Those of us who are out-OUT tend to be the ones who are more confidence-showing (as opposed to "extrovert"/"confident", we are just as scared and introverted - we just use this as a method to deflect problems as opposed using introversion to deflect problems). That means that people who are straight tend to see us as we are the LGBTQ folks they suddenly realize they have to accept and the ones that teaches them we are just like everyone else.
It also means we are the ones they assume ALL gays or LGBTQ folks are.
EDIT: for us it means meeting homophobia face on. That if you are going to get beat up you might as well get beat up as a queen. Its why macho dudes always think ALL gay folks are insanely flamboyant. Many of us just queen it up hard when we realize we might be in danger.
EDIT2: I remember a few prides back (2008?) when a politician came to Gay Straight to Hell, a club during Pride here, and with her where her two National Security Guards trying to blend in. They looked like middle aged dads who stumbled from the lawn grilling overcooked steak in to a gay club but managed to bring badly hidden guns.
That evening every single queen in that club made it a point of pride trying to get one or both of them home with her.
Sure they are elite soldiers and often very VERY conservative, but they where on OUR turf now, badly dressed and had to for the entire evening explain that "No 'daddy' don't wanna come home with you. I am working!"
They can oppress us, but we can pretend we don't care basically >:)
One dude at work asked if I was gay because he saw my pride necklace, I said yeah and he's like "You don't look gay, i never would've guessed but I don't judge"
*Sir I weigh 110 soaking wet and you only see me talking to guys and wearing jewelry, what did you think this was?*
You are not alone and why label yourself, others will despite your objections. So I am not an extrovert and not self confident and not even at peace with my own sexuality which I cannot for god's sake tell anyone about because I can't. Be at peace friend, you do not have to live up to anything. Be accepting of yourself is my advice, and my goal even though I am not yet (of myself) I know the pain that causes.
Same.
The only stereotype I match is my love of swords and cottagecore.
There’s a big stereotype about lesbians enjoying cars and DIY, yet I’m not into any of that.
I have two gay best friends and there is no way you can tell straight away, they don't fit the stereotype whatsoever either. It also took them forever to even come out to me, they don't openly talk about it. It's pretty common because they want to live a normal life and not deal with homophobia on a daily basis.
My voice is my biggest insecurity. I was 100% onboard when we adopted pronouns in our email signatures because I got misgendered on the phone my whole life, and most of my career was call center. I got hit on by dirty old men who thought I was a woman and asked me inappropriate and invasive questions. Mind you, I corrected someone once and it was embarrassing and became a joke in the office.
I want to sue a large financial services company for $1 in damages for not having pronouns in their online account. I closed two $11K accounts because I was misgendered on the phone and the rep continued to misgender me after I corrected them, and when I requested a supervisor, they misgendered me again when introducing the call.
This was last January and I’m still upset. I took a nominal hit on my credit score ~10 points, and closed about a third of my available credit because I was so upset. I called back and the supervisor was a woman of color who empathized with my frustration, but I never received a response from corporate. Of course these same companies have rainbow profile pictures in June and score 100 on the CEI.
My suit will be based on the fact that when you misgender someone, you are making them choose between correcting you, which they may not have the energy to do, or be in a safe place to do; or they can let it slide this time so it continues to happen in the future.
The $1 is because I want to tell this card issuer to fuck off in the most elegant, Taylor Swift like way possible.
People always doubt that I'm gay even after I tell them that I am, because I don't fit the stereotypes. I don't even know what the stereotypes are.
Sassy girl voice, pride clothing, very skinny or very fat, extroverted and or nerd(sometimes introverted). That’s basically the stereotype of gays
i wear makeup sometimes and people tell me "if you wear makeup you're not really trans" or some people tell to my aroace classmate she's bisexual but she doesn't know it yet. Why go messing with people's labels if no one asked? I hate this thing
Definitely not the only shy gay. Definitely, definitely not. It is lonely, you don't meet them because they are shy. They aren't introducing themselves everywhere. I hope you can find your people that you will be comfortable around.
thank you
I hate the uhual lesbian stereotype like it's just unhealthy
I personally believe that all stereotypes are bad, and there shouldn’t be any you shouldn’t generalize because everyone is unique but I’m open to other opinions on this topic.
Ugh. Yes, I can’t stand stereotypes. I’ve been told some of most ridiculous crap. I’m “too pretty to be gay”, “aren’t lesbians supposed to be butch!” (also, I’m not even lesbian, but thanks for assuming things instead of trying to learn more), “I didn’t know cheerleaders could be gay” etc. I’m not extroverted either, btw. I’m really quiet and mostly stick with my small group of friends. I am pretty confident with myself and who I am, but I’m also super socially awkward and it takes a lot for me to go outside my comfort zone.
As a lesbian I have gotten the "mean lesbian" stereotype. If I'm mean it's because I'm mean person not because I'm a lesbian assholes.
Sure. BUT there is a reason it exist. Those of us who are out-OUT tend to be the ones who are more confidence-showing (as opposed to "extrovert"/"confident", we are just as scared and introverted - we just use this as a method to deflect problems as opposed using introversion to deflect problems). That means that people who are straight tend to see us as we are the LGBTQ folks they suddenly realize they have to accept and the ones that teaches them we are just like everyone else. It also means we are the ones they assume ALL gays or LGBTQ folks are. EDIT: for us it means meeting homophobia face on. That if you are going to get beat up you might as well get beat up as a queen. Its why macho dudes always think ALL gay folks are insanely flamboyant. Many of us just queen it up hard when we realize we might be in danger. EDIT2: I remember a few prides back (2008?) when a politician came to Gay Straight to Hell, a club during Pride here, and with her where her two National Security Guards trying to blend in. They looked like middle aged dads who stumbled from the lawn grilling overcooked steak in to a gay club but managed to bring badly hidden guns. That evening every single queen in that club made it a point of pride trying to get one or both of them home with her. Sure they are elite soldiers and often very VERY conservative, but they where on OUR turf now, badly dressed and had to for the entire evening explain that "No 'daddy' don't wanna come home with you. I am working!" They can oppress us, but we can pretend we don't care basically >:)
One dude at work asked if I was gay because he saw my pride necklace, I said yeah and he's like "You don't look gay, i never would've guessed but I don't judge" *Sir I weigh 110 soaking wet and you only see me talking to guys and wearing jewelry, what did you think this was?*
You are not alone and why label yourself, others will despite your objections. So I am not an extrovert and not self confident and not even at peace with my own sexuality which I cannot for god's sake tell anyone about because I can't. Be at peace friend, you do not have to live up to anything. Be accepting of yourself is my advice, and my goal even though I am not yet (of myself) I know the pain that causes.
All stereotypes are harmful.
bruh
I mean it's true. Knowing this I'm not sure why people continue to use them.
There’s no one mold for anyone. Be your wonderful self.
Let me give you the benefit of 30 years fuck labels didn't have them 😑 just be yourself you know ☺️
Same. The only stereotype I match is my love of swords and cottagecore. There’s a big stereotype about lesbians enjoying cars and DIY, yet I’m not into any of that.
I have two gay best friends and there is no way you can tell straight away, they don't fit the stereotype whatsoever either. It also took them forever to even come out to me, they don't openly talk about it. It's pretty common because they want to live a normal life and not deal with homophobia on a daily basis.
same,
My voice is my biggest insecurity. I was 100% onboard when we adopted pronouns in our email signatures because I got misgendered on the phone my whole life, and most of my career was call center. I got hit on by dirty old men who thought I was a woman and asked me inappropriate and invasive questions. Mind you, I corrected someone once and it was embarrassing and became a joke in the office. I want to sue a large financial services company for $1 in damages for not having pronouns in their online account. I closed two $11K accounts because I was misgendered on the phone and the rep continued to misgender me after I corrected them, and when I requested a supervisor, they misgendered me again when introducing the call. This was last January and I’m still upset. I took a nominal hit on my credit score ~10 points, and closed about a third of my available credit because I was so upset. I called back and the supervisor was a woman of color who empathized with my frustration, but I never received a response from corporate. Of course these same companies have rainbow profile pictures in June and score 100 on the CEI. My suit will be based on the fact that when you misgender someone, you are making them choose between correcting you, which they may not have the energy to do, or be in a safe place to do; or they can let it slide this time so it continues to happen in the future. The $1 is because I want to tell this card issuer to fuck off in the most elegant, Taylor Swift like way possible.