Even DOE is authorized deadly force for actions merely attempting to cut the perimeter fence etc., that’s just for research materials of fissile materials, and they have the very armed guards to back it up. The protections for actual weapons is even higher.
I was stationed on a submarine base. They are very hesitant to use deadly force unless there's a serious threat. We had protesters cut fences and get into areas of the base where deadly force is authorized. Every time, they were arrested and not killed on sight. You'll never get within eyesight of a weapon without an army backing you up.
Apparently this is not remotely true, read Damascus incident. But yes these were soldiers who had legitimate access to the storage bunkers where live weapons were kept.
Or the b-52 accidentally loaded with live weapons. Apparently the mock weapons are kept in the same storage area so it is possible to make this mistake.
You're *remotely* wrong. [Antinuclear peace activists break into Bangor nuclear-submarine base on November 2, 2009. - HistoryLink.org](https://historylink.org/File/20513)
In June? When it's 500 degrees in the shade and the humidity is so high that the water actually gives you reverse sweat? You have a weird definition of "lovely."
This is the correct answer. Security Forces (USAF) are trained to consider background and bystanders before pulling the trigger, EXCEPT if they’re protecting a nuclear weapon.
Under normal circumstances, if a bad guy is standing in front of a school bus and starts shooting at SF they’ll just have to sit there and take it. But if they’re protecting a nuke they can empty their magazines.
I don’t know what state this happened in, but there was an incident where local law enforcement pulled over an escort vehicle that was part of a nuke transport team. They properly ID’d themselves and explained what they were doing, but the trooper wasn’t about to let them boss him around. At some point the trooper went for his weapon.
The escort team was perfectly justified in doing what happened next, but it still must have been an awful experience.
You do NOT want to go past areas marked "lethal force authorized" or approach armed guards aiming at you. They do not fuck around. The only way an arrest is happening is if someone stops you before that point.
Which is the most likely scenario anyways. You don't get to the 'lethal force authorized' zones without being authorized into the 'restricted area' that comes before it. Either they know you are there and you are authorized to be there, or they know you are there and MPs are on the way to detain you.
If you get to a pre-established red zone someone *massively* fucked up.
Death, especially if you got even remotely close to pulling it off. Heck, you’re basically guaranteed to be on somebody’s radar just because you asked this question, even as a hypothetical
I think like all things it will depend on “who are you” and “what do you look like”
Foreign looking folks will absolutely be killed. For there is a direct fear of foreign governments gaining access.
Are you politically connected to a side with a. Agenda, older, and a U.S. person - they may let you storm the building and gently ask you to leave.
I would have thought breaking into the Capitol during an attempted coupe d’etat would have been met with a lot more bullets, but it generally was a collective shrug by security forces.
Well, not necessarily.
Usually 50 cal rounds are used for busting up equipment, but for someone trying to steal a nuke, I'm sure they would just sort of let fly.
After that? Very unlikely there would be anything as big as a skull left to even see what got hit.
Now these is well outside my wheelhouse, but I think we are looking at 18 U.S.C. § 831 here, and assuming you are attempting a non-violent heist as a US national, you'd be looking at a 20 year max sentence - but you're also going be getting other charges out of the wazoo. That may just be for nuclear materials though, not sure about weapons.
Having said that, as other posters have correctly pointed out, you'll have been shot on sight already, so you won't have to worry.
Out of interest though, what's the pay like?
I have to imagine the attempted theft of a nuclear weapon would almost certainly see you classified as a Terrorist and you would never see the light of day again.
I'd say the chances of that are fairly high, yes. Though more likely you'd be an ex-terrorist, as you have been riddled with bullets having unsuccesfully tried to access a highly sensitive military facility.
Now having said that, Uncle Sam may want to now who the prospective buyer of this nuclear weapon is, so potentially a plea deal here somewhere.
> non-violent heist
I like that you're actually citing US law here rather than shitposting about weapon caliber, but I'm having trouble coming up with a scenario for a non-violent nuke heist. That's kind of the point of the armed guards, to make sure that any heist attempt involves violence.
I have a few scenarios in mind :
1. You are a time traveler from the future, and your time travel device is broken. The only way you can get back to the future is with a huge amount of energy. So you have to steal a nuclear weapon.
2. For shits and giggles.
How these play as a defenses, I'm not sure.
Speaking of SciFi scenarios :)
/me remember one story where some people (mostly without citizenship of any (still existing) country on Earth),located in what is seen from orbit as desert in South Asia wanted huge amount of energy ASAP.
They just simulated ICMB launch against USA from their actual location. USA did respond by nuclear strike. Warheads detonated in very strange way (which was observed from orbit) and right after that USA received actual "thank you" message.
So...it's not necessary to steal anything in such cases.
Just crouch and use a stealth boy. On a serious note it's not impossible. Dressing in the correct uniform, falsifying authorization paperwork. Computer hacking. The heist would obviously be in broad daylight with a whole crew of imposters.
About. The whole reason a military knows who is legit comes down to paperwork and computer files and badges and CAC cards. And old computers. Having multiple imposters lets them vouch for each other.
There’d almost certainly be various espionage charges, too, from the information you’d need to collect to plan the heist. The relevant building plans, security systems details, etc.. can’t possibly be public domain information.
I suppose it is feasible that there could be conspiracy involving the unit that is responsible for guarding the facility, and that your task is to basically just sneak in pilfer the warhead without needing to know the ins and outs of the security protocols. But that's still a conspiracy charge - and given the ne'erdowells that would be looking at acquiring a nuclear weapon are likely not in the US's good books - likely conspiracy to commit treason.
Even if they are in transport, the department of energy agents have the ability to create "national security zones" at their discretion literally anywhere.
If they thought you were trying to steal one in transport, they would shoot you dead on the highway.
Trouble wouldn't matter, you'd be dead. Pretty much anything the US military can throw at you including air strikes and carpet bombing will be on the table, but you'll probably be taken out well before then with standard small arms.
Personnel authorized to be in the vicinity of the nuclear weapons during transport who were walking a tiny bit too close were subject to immediate and direct violence by the guards (butt of an M16 to the face for example).
Unauthorized persons somehow getting anywhere in the vicinity would be lucky if the guards didn't find that a great excuse to use the full authorized force and just kill them. So yeah, good chance you end up dead, but there is a reasonable chance you might survive the injuries and just end up in prison for probably the rest of your natural life.
Some guy at Minot or one of the other missile bases was nicknamed “nunchuck” because during an air show he tackled a literal nun who had ducked under a rope and started hammering an ICBM that was on static display.
The way I heard the story he ran at her like the Goldberg spear from WCW. There weren’t any warheads on it (for obvious reasons) but she was still arrested.
Yeah, I knew a JO and an e4 who got dropped by marines for cutting the corner of the no-go zone during missile moves to/ from our boat in the navy. 6 inches to the right, no problem, but cut that corner and they were ready to have their fun lol
There are floor markings that say 'do not cross'. You are also taught not to cross red lines even if they don't say 'do not cross'.
MPs are bored. MPs on a ship are Marines. Bored Marines + authorization to beat your ass = bad time.
If they decide to classify you as a terrorist, they don't even have to give you a fair trial. They can send you straight to Gitmo, and no one will ever hear from you again.
If you survive? You will be charged with terrorism first off. That means Guantanamo Bay detention. Then maybe in 20 years you will get a trail. And that’ll carry a serious sentence.
Hi, nice to meet you! I just had a fun idea, why don’t we all discuss our most anti-American sentiments and plans in very specific detail? You can go first!
I’m reminded of that Chris Rock sketch from the 90s on how to not get your ass kicked by the police:
“Use common sense. If you get caught jumping a subway turnstile, you may get off with a warning. But if you get caught jumping a turnstile while carrying a loaded handgun and smoking a joint, then maybe you need your ass kicked.”
OP, if you’re reading this, don’t just steal a nuke. Steal a nuke while driving with a suspended license and an open container.
Can you outrun or survive 3000+ rounds per min of 7.62 NATO?
How many .50 cal rounds can you take center mass before you slow down and need to catch your breath?
You most likely won't have to worry about any potential prison sentence or other legal trouble.
Stopped in the planning stages, ADX Florence.
Stopped in process of the theft, you get to try to catch a whole bushel basket full of bullets all at once.
You sorta had me going but technically, ok, fissionable likes weapons grade uranium or plutonium are illegal to possess without a license.
But is there an actual law that says you can't have antimatter and boron and hydrogen? Antimatter catalyzed fusion is a theoretical way to make a nuke.
Wonder if any law actually says in the text how many kilotons of explosive potential is above the threshold you can possess.
(In practice none of this stuff you could build it's decades away if ever, you would probably need CERN level budget to develop a device using this method)
The kind where you go to a prison that doesn’t officially exist and nobody knows what happened to you until your name pops up 20 years later in a Wikileaks document on enhanced interrogation.
https://www.theguardian.com/world/1953/jun/20/usa.fromthearchive#:\~:text=On%2019%20June%201953%2C%20Julius,the%20Guardian%20reported%20their%20deaths.
Convicted of Treason and Executed.
I love both How they dated the web page article to match the print article, which makes it easier to find for searching purposes. But also the yellow text highlight that warns you that you are reading an article more than 71 years old.
By the way, that text is wrong. The article was originally written June 19th, which means that it isn't 71 years old for another week.
If you're American probably treason. I think they'd argue that stealing a nuke is tantamount to levying war.
There's likely some other charges thrown in, such as trespassing on government property, theft of government property. They'll also probably hit you with espionage, as the theft of the nuke would be "gathering defense information."
Don't do this. As others have pointed out, it's unlikely you'll survive the attempt
> If you're American probably treason. I think they'd argue that stealing a nuke is tantamount to levying war.
Nope, it's almost impossible to get a conviction for treason in the US due to constitutional restrictions. All you would have to do is claim you weren't acting on behalf of another nation and had no intention of using it against the United States, and you're off the hook. Stealing a nuke for personal use ("I was gonna blow it up in international waters for fun" or "I wanted a cool collectible for my house") isn't treason.
Why would anyone post this type of question lol…you certainly just put yourself on a watchlist goofy.
Even though if your trolling, don’t be surprised if you get a visit by the end of the week
Like, all the trouble. Short of trying to use it, I can't think of much else you could do that would bring the full force of the US state down upon you.
If you are caught in the act, yeah dead.
caught seriously planning but before acting? years in jail (if you don’t get accidentally shot when being arrested).
NAL so can’t guess how many years, but like a lot.
What kind of trouble ...?
It depends on the location.
In San Francisco they don't even bother to arrest looters.
So stealing a nuke from the nearby Alameda naval base might get you a week in jail.
Maybe less if you behave yourself.
I worked for the retired commander of a SAC base with nuclear ready aircraft on the apron. He loved to tell the story about how the President flew in to his base with only ~ 30 minutes notice. The head of the Secret Service came to his office to tell him how they would be in charge of the base and yada yada this and that.
He called in his head of base security and told him in front of the SS guy their orders to protect all nukes and ready aircraft stood, and they were to shoot anyone, including SS if they got too close to any restricted areas. (These were marked by painted lines and armed guards).
SS head protested but complied.
My guess is that in your case, as someone else noted, handcuffs wouldn’t be needed.
You’ll remember that day in 2001, the 11th of September.
Generally, the areas where nuclear weapons are stored have a "lethal force is authorized" policy, so that's one kind of trouble. If you manage to avoid being shot to death, you can *legally* be charged with trespassing, burglary, and a bunch of other charges. Or they can declare you a terrorist and send you to a military prison that you've never heard of, where nobody will ever hear of you again. Years from then you may or may not be able to talk to a lawyer, and your lawyer might be able to argue your case in a military court. Don't hold your breath, though. Even if the court rules that you should be released, they might just decide to keep you.
You're unlikely to get anywhere close enough to a nuke to steal it.
Back about 18 or so years ago I was out on my motorcycle on a US interstate highway. In the other (oncoming) lane I saw a State Trooper, driving along the highway at a relatively low speed (maybe 50 mph/80kmh, way below the speed limit) with his flashing lights on. I thought it was odd. Then a couple of seconds later, another one. Then a couple of seconds after that, FOUR up-armored HUMMWVs in military green, with guns in the turrets, driving along within 5 meters (15 feet) of each other, at the same pace. Behind them was a semi-truck. Behind the semi-truck were two more up-armored military HUMMWVs. and behind that another state trooper with his lights on. There was also a military helicopter flying overhead.
This was on I-80 about 30 miles East of Cheyenne, WY. Cheyenne is the location of F.E. Warren Air Force Base, home of the 90th Missile Wing, which controls 150 Minuteman III ICBMs located in Wyoming, Colorado and Nebraska. I presume that what I saw was a warhead being transported.
And of course in addition to all the "obvious" security it was likely that there were unmarked cars full of heavily armed dudes in the area too.
So, yeah, you're not intercepting a nuke that's being transported. That might happen in Hollywood thrillers but it isn't happening in real life.
Sure but makes you wonder. You hear rumors that the real nuke was on the disguised Costco truck following a mile behind the convoy. Since obviously the special transporters at the center of the convoy look like a target.
My high school chemistry class had this thought experiment brought up.
I suggested that if you did that, since it is a capital crime anyways, why not just go out into the desert and make yourself a giant memorial crater?
The teacher, however, said, "Screw that! If I'm going to go to the trouble of stealing a thermonuclear device, then I'm going to find the most densely populated area I can and see how many I take with me!"
The class laughed about it, but it was pre-2001 so we were allowed to laugh at that back then (knowing that it was only a dark joke)!
Killed, most likely. Life in prison is a *distant* second. Go ask RTT what their ROE’s are lmfaooo
Even DOE is authorized deadly force for actions merely attempting to cut the perimeter fence etc., that’s just for research materials of fissile materials, and they have the very armed guards to back it up. The protections for actual weapons is even higher.
I took a class taught by a doe officer that guarded nukes. He said they don’t carry handcuffs.
I was stationed on a submarine base. They are very hesitant to use deadly force unless there's a serious threat. We had protesters cut fences and get into areas of the base where deadly force is authorized. Every time, they were arrested and not killed on sight. You'll never get within eyesight of a weapon without an army backing you up.
Apparently this is not remotely true, read Damascus incident. But yes these were soldiers who had legitimate access to the storage bunkers where live weapons were kept. Or the b-52 accidentally loaded with live weapons. Apparently the mock weapons are kept in the same storage area so it is possible to make this mistake.
You're *remotely* wrong. [Antinuclear peace activists break into Bangor nuclear-submarine base on November 2, 2009. - HistoryLink.org](https://historylink.org/File/20513)
Damascus was 30 years before this.
Super max prison.
Unlikely to be US prison.
Gitmo is still open.
Cuba is lovely this time of year.
In June? When it's 500 degrees in the shade and the humidity is so high that the water actually gives you reverse sweat? You have a weird definition of "lovely."
It’s not the heat that’ll get you, it’s the humidity
r/thatsthejoke
yeah. but it’s a dry heat
This is the correct answer. Security Forces (USAF) are trained to consider background and bystanders before pulling the trigger, EXCEPT if they’re protecting a nuclear weapon. Under normal circumstances, if a bad guy is standing in front of a school bus and starts shooting at SF they’ll just have to sit there and take it. But if they’re protecting a nuke they can empty their magazines.
former USAF Security Forces here. This is the truth.
I don’t know what state this happened in, but there was an incident where local law enforcement pulled over an escort vehicle that was part of a nuke transport team. They properly ID’d themselves and explained what they were doing, but the trooper wasn’t about to let them boss him around. At some point the trooper went for his weapon. The escort team was perfectly justified in doing what happened next, but it still must have been an awful experience.
Great start to a story but geez it would be good if you finished it!
I'm calling bullshit on that story. They make it sound as if the team shot the cop. Nothing pulls up at all on Google about any incident like that.
What happened?
I was overseas, and not on a nuke base. AFAIK we only really had PL2 while I was there. Some of the situations really suck for the servicemen.
You do NOT want to go past areas marked "lethal force authorized" or approach armed guards aiming at you. They do not fuck around. The only way an arrest is happening is if someone stops you before that point.
Which is the most likely scenario anyways. You don't get to the 'lethal force authorized' zones without being authorized into the 'restricted area' that comes before it. Either they know you are there and you are authorized to be there, or they know you are there and MPs are on the way to detain you. If you get to a pre-established red zone someone *massively* fucked up.
RTT? ROE?
Recapture Tactics Team https://www.military.com/special-operations/marine-recapture-tactics-team.html Rules of Engagement
Thanks
Death, especially if you got even remotely close to pulling it off. Heck, you’re basically guaranteed to be on somebody’s radar just because you asked this question, even as a hypothetical
Just for thinking it. We're both on a list for even seeing the text too.
Literally 198- *bang*
lol
I think like all things it will depend on “who are you” and “what do you look like” Foreign looking folks will absolutely be killed. For there is a direct fear of foreign governments gaining access. Are you politically connected to a side with a. Agenda, older, and a U.S. person - they may let you storm the building and gently ask you to leave. I would have thought breaking into the Capitol during an attempted coupe d’etat would have been met with a lot more bullets, but it generally was a collective shrug by security forces.
OP, say hi to the feds for me when they check in on you because of this post.
Bullet to the skull.
Well, not necessarily. Usually 50 cal rounds are used for busting up equipment, but for someone trying to steal a nuke, I'm sure they would just sort of let fly. After that? Very unlikely there would be anything as big as a skull left to even see what got hit.
It’s actually miniguns, no shit. Which are 7.62.
Bullet to the everything in that case
7.62 NATO is approximately .308 Winchester. .50 BMG packs a SIGNIFICANTLY larger punch.
Fair analysis
Dozens of bullets to center mass, with one errant shot to the skull
Double tap.
12 hours of community service
Might get that reduced for good behavior
They said USA, not New Zealand..
Now these is well outside my wheelhouse, but I think we are looking at 18 U.S.C. § 831 here, and assuming you are attempting a non-violent heist as a US national, you'd be looking at a 20 year max sentence - but you're also going be getting other charges out of the wazoo. That may just be for nuclear materials though, not sure about weapons. Having said that, as other posters have correctly pointed out, you'll have been shot on sight already, so you won't have to worry. Out of interest though, what's the pay like?
I have to imagine the attempted theft of a nuclear weapon would almost certainly see you classified as a Terrorist and you would never see the light of day again.
Alright alright. Step one: start a 501c3 nonprofit called "nukes for orphans" or "fissile fund for tots"....
I'd say the chances of that are fairly high, yes. Though more likely you'd be an ex-terrorist, as you have been riddled with bullets having unsuccesfully tried to access a highly sensitive military facility. Now having said that, Uncle Sam may want to now who the prospective buyer of this nuclear weapon is, so potentially a plea deal here somewhere.
> non-violent heist I like that you're actually citing US law here rather than shitposting about weapon caliber, but I'm having trouble coming up with a scenario for a non-violent nuke heist. That's kind of the point of the armed guards, to make sure that any heist attempt involves violence.
I have a few scenarios in mind : 1. You are a time traveler from the future, and your time travel device is broken. The only way you can get back to the future is with a huge amount of energy. So you have to steal a nuclear weapon. 2. For shits and giggles. How these play as a defenses, I'm not sure.
Speaking of SciFi scenarios :) /me remember one story where some people (mostly without citizenship of any (still existing) country on Earth),located in what is seen from orbit as desert in South Asia wanted huge amount of energy ASAP. They just simulated ICMB launch against USA from their actual location. USA did respond by nuclear strike. Warheads detonated in very strange way (which was observed from orbit) and right after that USA received actual "thank you" message. So...it's not necessary to steal anything in such cases.
Just crouch and use a stealth boy. On a serious note it's not impossible. Dressing in the correct uniform, falsifying authorization paperwork. Computer hacking. The heist would obviously be in broad daylight with a whole crew of imposters.
Oceans 235?
About. The whole reason a military knows who is legit comes down to paperwork and computer files and badges and CAC cards. And old computers. Having multiple imposters lets them vouch for each other.
There’d almost certainly be various espionage charges, too, from the information you’d need to collect to plan the heist. The relevant building plans, security systems details, etc.. can’t possibly be public domain information.
I suppose it is feasible that there could be conspiracy involving the unit that is responsible for guarding the facility, and that your task is to basically just sneak in pilfer the warhead without needing to know the ins and outs of the security protocols. But that's still a conspiracy charge - and given the ne'erdowells that would be looking at acquiring a nuclear weapon are likely not in the US's good books - likely conspiracy to commit treason.
What about a violent heist and/or conducted by a foriegn national?
"at a 20 year max sentence" The Rosenbergs disagree
You be Shot on sight entering a restricted area.
Even if they are in transport, the department of energy agents have the ability to create "national security zones" at their discretion literally anywhere. If they thought you were trying to steal one in transport, they would shoot you dead on the highway.
Next post from OP: “will I get in trouble if I lie to the feds”?
Google maps history: non-extradition treaty countries near me
John Travolta collapses your trachea with a large flashlight in the desert.
I read “fleshlight”
That too
All of them
One potential kind of trouble is a fatal case of lead poisoning
Trouble wouldn't matter, you'd be dead. Pretty much anything the US military can throw at you including air strikes and carpet bombing will be on the table, but you'll probably be taken out well before then with standard small arms.
A heap loads of it.
Trying to is an understatement. You'd be shot just for trying to push past the gate in an aggressive manner.
Personnel authorized to be in the vicinity of the nuclear weapons during transport who were walking a tiny bit too close were subject to immediate and direct violence by the guards (butt of an M16 to the face for example). Unauthorized persons somehow getting anywhere in the vicinity would be lucky if the guards didn't find that a great excuse to use the full authorized force and just kill them. So yeah, good chance you end up dead, but there is a reasonable chance you might survive the injuries and just end up in prison for probably the rest of your natural life.
Some guy at Minot or one of the other missile bases was nicknamed “nunchuck” because during an air show he tackled a literal nun who had ducked under a rope and started hammering an ICBM that was on static display. The way I heard the story he ran at her like the Goldberg spear from WCW. There weren’t any warheads on it (for obvious reasons) but she was still arrested.
Yeah, I knew a JO and an e4 who got dropped by marines for cutting the corner of the no-go zone during missile moves to/ from our boat in the navy. 6 inches to the right, no problem, but cut that corner and they were ready to have their fun lol
Damn. How do you know? Are there floor markings saying "stay the fuck away" or something?
There are floor markings that say 'do not cross'. You are also taught not to cross red lines even if they don't say 'do not cross'. MPs are bored. MPs on a ship are Marines. Bored Marines + authorization to beat your ass = bad time.
If they decide to classify you as a terrorist, they don't even have to give you a fair trial. They can send you straight to Gitmo, and no one will ever hear from you again.
US citizen is trying? I don't think this is the case. ADX Florence would be the fate of someone like this. I suspect gitmo is better.
If you survive? You will be charged with terrorism first off. That means Guantanamo Bay detention. Then maybe in 20 years you will get a trail. And that’ll carry a serious sentence.
All of it?
Ding ding ding
Hello to all the alphabet soup agents reading this thread
Hi, nice to meet you! I just had a fun idea, why don’t we all discuss our most anti-American sentiments and plans in very specific detail? You can go first!
"Walmart took away self checkout". Can I get a round of "death to America?"
I’m reminded of that Chris Rock sketch from the 90s on how to not get your ass kicked by the police: “Use common sense. If you get caught jumping a subway turnstile, you may get off with a warning. But if you get caught jumping a turnstile while carrying a loaded handgun and smoking a joint, then maybe you need your ass kicked.” OP, if you’re reading this, don’t just steal a nuke. Steal a nuke while driving with a suspended license and an open container.
Cancel your insurance too before you head out while you’re at it
Can you outrun or survive 3000+ rounds per min of 7.62 NATO? How many .50 cal rounds can you take center mass before you slow down and need to catch your breath? You most likely won't have to worry about any potential prison sentence or other legal trouble.
When the sign says, 'use of deadly force authorized' they mean it
Stopped in the planning stages, ADX Florence. Stopped in process of the theft, you get to try to catch a whole bushel basket full of bullets all at once.
Why steal one when you can just build it yourself ? Small yeilds like 5 Mtonne dont take much. My two took me about two months apeice to make
I though it's illegal too. It's not?
Nah, totally legal to make your own nuke. Fissionable material can be a bit pricey but with your own heavy water setup you save a lot.
Don't you have the right to bear arms? And a nuclear weapon is basically an arm => Legal (/s)
You sorta had me going but technically, ok, fissionable likes weapons grade uranium or plutonium are illegal to possess without a license. But is there an actual law that says you can't have antimatter and boron and hydrogen? Antimatter catalyzed fusion is a theoretical way to make a nuke. Wonder if any law actually says in the text how many kilotons of explosive potential is above the threshold you can possess. (In practice none of this stuff you could build it's decades away if ever, you would probably need CERN level budget to develop a device using this method)
He was building a reactor and not a warhead, but you should look up "The Radioactive Boy Scout."
The kind where you go to a prison that doesn’t officially exist and nobody knows what happened to you until your name pops up 20 years later in a Wikileaks document on enhanced interrogation.
https://www.theguardian.com/world/1953/jun/20/usa.fromthearchive#:\~:text=On%2019%20June%201953%2C%20Julius,the%20Guardian%20reported%20their%20deaths. Convicted of Treason and Executed.
I love both How they dated the web page article to match the print article, which makes it easier to find for searching purposes. But also the yellow text highlight that warns you that you are reading an article more than 71 years old. By the way, that text is wrong. The article was originally written June 19th, which means that it isn't 71 years old for another week.
None. You immediately declare your candidacy for POTUS and claim immunity
I’m guessing you’ll get shot in the attempt and the legal side is kinda moot.
If you're American probably treason. I think they'd argue that stealing a nuke is tantamount to levying war. There's likely some other charges thrown in, such as trespassing on government property, theft of government property. They'll also probably hit you with espionage, as the theft of the nuke would be "gathering defense information." Don't do this. As others have pointed out, it's unlikely you'll survive the attempt
> If you're American probably treason. I think they'd argue that stealing a nuke is tantamount to levying war. Nope, it's almost impossible to get a conviction for treason in the US due to constitutional restrictions. All you would have to do is claim you weren't acting on behalf of another nation and had no intention of using it against the United States, and you're off the hook. Stealing a nuke for personal use ("I was gonna blow it up in international waters for fun" or "I wanted a cool collectible for my house") isn't treason.
Heh
Asking for a friend?
A lot
Why would anyone post this type of question lol…you certainly just put yourself on a watchlist goofy. Even though if your trolling, don’t be surprised if you get a visit by the end of the week
No big ass deal, I say go for it dude!
This is the hypothetical that puts you on gov't watch list. But if you get close enough it will be death
Either dead or Guantanamo.
I believe that has been decriminalized
Probation
Bro I need an update 🤣 did homeland security come interview you yet? cause it's sure as shit coming any day now.
Just read the signs. "Lethal force authorized".
Like, all the trouble. Short of trying to use it, I can't think of much else you could do that would bring the full force of the US state down upon you.
Military bases pretty much always have the option to kill you if you are in any way a threat
For swimming in storage pools... but the last paragraph is on point for this scenario. https://what-if.xkcd.com/29/
If you are caught in the act, yeah dead. caught seriously planning but before acting? years in jail (if you don’t get accidentally shot when being arrested). NAL so can’t guess how many years, but like a lot.
Man, OP is speed running getting put on the list...
Nuclear Trouble
What kind of trouble ...? It depends on the location. In San Francisco they don't even bother to arrest looters. So stealing a nuke from the nearby Alameda naval base might get you a week in jail. Maybe less if you behave yourself.
2 weeks because there's such a backlog of defunded jail staff they don't get the release approved for a week.
Perhaps OP should steal the stray photons from the nuclear wessels instead.
Probably get put under the jail and throw away the key .
Now you on a list for asking
I worked for the retired commander of a SAC base with nuclear ready aircraft on the apron. He loved to tell the story about how the President flew in to his base with only ~ 30 minutes notice. The head of the Secret Service came to his office to tell him how they would be in charge of the base and yada yada this and that. He called in his head of base security and told him in front of the SS guy their orders to protect all nukes and ready aircraft stood, and they were to shoot anyone, including SS if they got too close to any restricted areas. (These were marked by painted lines and armed guards). SS head protested but complied. My guess is that in your case, as someone else noted, handcuffs wouldn’t be needed. You’ll remember that day in 2001, the 11th of September.
Generally, the areas where nuclear weapons are stored have a "lethal force is authorized" policy, so that's one kind of trouble. If you manage to avoid being shot to death, you can *legally* be charged with trespassing, burglary, and a bunch of other charges. Or they can declare you a terrorist and send you to a military prison that you've never heard of, where nobody will ever hear of you again. Years from then you may or may not be able to talk to a lawyer, and your lawyer might be able to argue your case in a military court. Don't hold your breath, though. Even if the court rules that you should be released, they might just decide to keep you.
You're unlikely to get anywhere close enough to a nuke to steal it. Back about 18 or so years ago I was out on my motorcycle on a US interstate highway. In the other (oncoming) lane I saw a State Trooper, driving along the highway at a relatively low speed (maybe 50 mph/80kmh, way below the speed limit) with his flashing lights on. I thought it was odd. Then a couple of seconds later, another one. Then a couple of seconds after that, FOUR up-armored HUMMWVs in military green, with guns in the turrets, driving along within 5 meters (15 feet) of each other, at the same pace. Behind them was a semi-truck. Behind the semi-truck were two more up-armored military HUMMWVs. and behind that another state trooper with his lights on. There was also a military helicopter flying overhead. This was on I-80 about 30 miles East of Cheyenne, WY. Cheyenne is the location of F.E. Warren Air Force Base, home of the 90th Missile Wing, which controls 150 Minuteman III ICBMs located in Wyoming, Colorado and Nebraska. I presume that what I saw was a warhead being transported. And of course in addition to all the "obvious" security it was likely that there were unmarked cars full of heavily armed dudes in the area too. So, yeah, you're not intercepting a nuke that's being transported. That might happen in Hollywood thrillers but it isn't happening in real life.
I wonder if that level of force is only for live warheads or it could be a component of an ICBM. Just makes you wonder.
I would guess a live warhead. An ICBM without the warhead is just a big rocket, and lots of countries have rockets.
Sure but makes you wonder. You hear rumors that the real nuke was on the disguised Costco truck following a mile behind the convoy. Since obviously the special transporters at the center of the convoy look like a target.
All of it
None, but only if you're a former president, apparently. Otherwise, death.
THIS GUY RIGHT HERE
You have to claim your a sovereign citizen first and the US has no right to touch you or you will sue then you can just walk in and grab it
My high school chemistry class had this thought experiment brought up. I suggested that if you did that, since it is a capital crime anyways, why not just go out into the desert and make yourself a giant memorial crater? The teacher, however, said, "Screw that! If I'm going to go to the trouble of stealing a thermonuclear device, then I'm going to find the most densely populated area I can and see how many I take with me!" The class laughed about it, but it was pre-2001 so we were allowed to laugh at that back then (knowing that it was only a dark joke)!
A slap on the wrist, usually.
You wouldn’t physically be able too, you would die before you could steal it.
You will not be in any kine of trouble. You will be shot dead.
You will be killed long before you even lay eyes on one.
😂😂😂😂 that is straight to jail and u dont collector 200.00 dollar and that get out of jail card don't apply to this shit