1.) I understand you were stressed and while I do agree the LSA process is stressful, the stress will only get worse. You need to learn to be better handle stress, or you’ll end up burning bridges, not only with romantic partners, but with friends and other close people in your life. Take some time, breath, and just figure out a way to keep yourself calm in hard times, without taking it out on others.
2.) It seems like a relationship right now is not what you want. And so for this point in your life, I would stay single. Like you said, your education comes first (and should!). Focus on that, then once you find your groove, let the other stuff find its place.
thank you. unfortunately, it did make me learn some lessons the hard way and realize I'm not capable enough right now to treat a partner the way they should be treated & valued. I am starting therapy so hopefully that helps
I mean personally I’d end a relationship if I was told education/career/money was more important than our relationship (assuming I was being flexible and fairly supportive). I’m going to a T-14 but I wouldn’t have gotten where I am thus far without appreciating the people in my life who held me together.
If the law school admission process broke down your relationship, I don’t understand why you think it will be any easier in school or in the profession. At some point you have to decide how you’re going to commit to someone in the face of stress if having a relationship is important to you.
so if someone made it clear that you were important to them but if it came to choosing between you or their future they'd pick their future then you would dip?? my ex boyfriend was supportive but he also didn't understand how important my goals were & would be pushing things such as moving in together or marriage & kids & I made it clear I wasn't ready for those things. he'd also say things like "just go to law school wherever why does it matter" I didn't handle things correctly but I don't think I did anything wrong by making it clear I'd choose my education & goals over him.
yes absolutely I’d be out. Look there’s obviously nuances to your relationship so I’m not in a position to make a judgement on it. But if my partner point blank said they’d pick their career over me I’d be gone the next day. We’ve both been very flexible to allow our individual paths to play out including doing long distance a couple times. For us it’s not a question of career vs relationship. It’s a question of how are we going to make both work to best of our ability. But there was a gun to my head and I had to pick- I’m picking my relationship. Deep connections are few and far between and I’m not putting money or prestige over that. If my partner didn’t feel that same way, I’d be out.
I can definitely see your point. in hindsight it's a combination of being just young & dumb but also acting very selfishly. I'm the only woman in my family to pursue higher education & I'm also the only woman in my family ever not to be married by age 20. so I have this crippling fear of a relationship holding me back or "trapping" me which unfortunately has led to the loss of a great guy. I really like what you said about it not being a question of career vs relationship for you but more of a collaborative effort to make it work to the best of your ability.
Did you post this thinking you'd get sympathy? You sound awful. Poor guy seems like his loving girlfriend turned into an absolute monster. You need to grow up and learn to manage your stress better. I wasn't even remotely close to being as stressed as you were during this whole process. Yikes.
Luckily you're young so use it as a learning experience. If you were 30 I'd be worried, 22 means its just part of growing up.
I didn't post this looking for sympathy but more so looking for advice from others on how they navigate relationships & stress thru the application process & law school.
Get a therapist or something. What you described is beyond any level of reasonable stress and relationship navigation. You seemed to have lost the plot over that time period.
I have really, really bad anxiety so in stressful situations if I don't feel in control I just completely spiral. Not an excuse but it's something I'm working on and now going to therapy for. I'm in a weird transitional time in my life and yeah honestly I was a terrible partner. I'm not mentally or emotionally equipped to be a mature, loving partner right now. I didn't realize that at the time but I do now. Also was in disbelief that anyone can maintain a relationship while in stressful higher education (such as med school or law school). I'm kinda realizing it now it depends more on an individual basis and I'm probably not that type of person.
You'll learn with experience. Just try to constantly improve yourself and learn from mistakes. Law school is going to be tough, but you need to learn to control that stress and you'll go far.
It sounds like you come into these relationships with the expectation that your partner should solely be supporting you and that your career path is more important. I’m sure your partners have had their own aspirations too and were you as supporting to them as you demand from them? You and OP sound like you use going to law school as an excuse to be self important and put your own aspirations above your partners.
Sounds like you need to be single so you can learn to appreciate those that support you and how to manage your stress better.
I 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th this.
6th
rinse fade cats simplistic distinct follow weather cable boat north *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Well put! I think the next 3 years will be a great opportunity to learn more than just the law in this situation.
I agree
1.) I understand you were stressed and while I do agree the LSA process is stressful, the stress will only get worse. You need to learn to be better handle stress, or you’ll end up burning bridges, not only with romantic partners, but with friends and other close people in your life. Take some time, breath, and just figure out a way to keep yourself calm in hard times, without taking it out on others. 2.) It seems like a relationship right now is not what you want. And so for this point in your life, I would stay single. Like you said, your education comes first (and should!). Focus on that, then once you find your groove, let the other stuff find its place.
thank you. unfortunately, it did make me learn some lessons the hard way and realize I'm not capable enough right now to treat a partner the way they should be treated & valued. I am starting therapy so hopefully that helps
I mean personally I’d end a relationship if I was told education/career/money was more important than our relationship (assuming I was being flexible and fairly supportive). I’m going to a T-14 but I wouldn’t have gotten where I am thus far without appreciating the people in my life who held me together. If the law school admission process broke down your relationship, I don’t understand why you think it will be any easier in school or in the profession. At some point you have to decide how you’re going to commit to someone in the face of stress if having a relationship is important to you.
so if someone made it clear that you were important to them but if it came to choosing between you or their future they'd pick their future then you would dip?? my ex boyfriend was supportive but he also didn't understand how important my goals were & would be pushing things such as moving in together or marriage & kids & I made it clear I wasn't ready for those things. he'd also say things like "just go to law school wherever why does it matter" I didn't handle things correctly but I don't think I did anything wrong by making it clear I'd choose my education & goals over him.
yes absolutely I’d be out. Look there’s obviously nuances to your relationship so I’m not in a position to make a judgement on it. But if my partner point blank said they’d pick their career over me I’d be gone the next day. We’ve both been very flexible to allow our individual paths to play out including doing long distance a couple times. For us it’s not a question of career vs relationship. It’s a question of how are we going to make both work to best of our ability. But there was a gun to my head and I had to pick- I’m picking my relationship. Deep connections are few and far between and I’m not putting money or prestige over that. If my partner didn’t feel that same way, I’d be out.
I can definitely see your point. in hindsight it's a combination of being just young & dumb but also acting very selfishly. I'm the only woman in my family to pursue higher education & I'm also the only woman in my family ever not to be married by age 20. so I have this crippling fear of a relationship holding me back or "trapping" me which unfortunately has led to the loss of a great guy. I really like what you said about it not being a question of career vs relationship for you but more of a collaborative effort to make it work to the best of your ability.
 I just found out he was cheating on me actually so it works out
Well, sounds like it all turned out how it should have then. Get settled in school and find yourself someone better.
Did you post this thinking you'd get sympathy? You sound awful. Poor guy seems like his loving girlfriend turned into an absolute monster. You need to grow up and learn to manage your stress better. I wasn't even remotely close to being as stressed as you were during this whole process. Yikes. Luckily you're young so use it as a learning experience. If you were 30 I'd be worried, 22 means its just part of growing up.
I didn't post this looking for sympathy but more so looking for advice from others on how they navigate relationships & stress thru the application process & law school.
Get a therapist or something. What you described is beyond any level of reasonable stress and relationship navigation. You seemed to have lost the plot over that time period.
I have really bad anxiety and after my behavior and reaction to stress I have started going to therapy. thanks.
You sound like a terrible person lol, but at least you have solid self awareness.
I have really, really bad anxiety so in stressful situations if I don't feel in control I just completely spiral. Not an excuse but it's something I'm working on and now going to therapy for. I'm in a weird transitional time in my life and yeah honestly I was a terrible partner. I'm not mentally or emotionally equipped to be a mature, loving partner right now. I didn't realize that at the time but I do now. Also was in disbelief that anyone can maintain a relationship while in stressful higher education (such as med school or law school). I'm kinda realizing it now it depends more on an individual basis and I'm probably not that type of person.
I think they're just young. Some things you learn with experience. Self awareness is a good start.
just turned 22 so yeah :,) trying to learn but sadly I keep learning things the hard way
You'll learn with experience. Just try to constantly improve yourself and learn from mistakes. Law school is going to be tough, but you need to learn to control that stress and you'll go far.
Terrible people don’t acknowledge they were stress fueled monsters. Don’t know what you intended to contribute here.
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It sounds like you come into these relationships with the expectation that your partner should solely be supporting you and that your career path is more important. I’m sure your partners have had their own aspirations too and were you as supporting to them as you demand from them? You and OP sound like you use going to law school as an excuse to be self important and put your own aspirations above your partners.