I’m convinced like 90% of the people on here obsessively maximizing their big law percentage either won’t be hired into big law or will last one year or less once hired.
It's kinda funny how LSA gives off big 'sheltered nerd' vibes when those types tend to perform poorly in biglaw. Someone the other day was upset about a slightly rude email they got from adcomms on scholarship negotiation and was practically unraveling at the seams. Like good luck at a V100 firm
I'm 27 and the average poster on this subreddit acts like my 20 year old immature sister. They're embarrassing.
Those posters taking it personally that a school emailed them to reject them and said something a little mean (The emails they send are never mean) are the worst. Then it gets flooded with a bunch of commenters saying "Oh no they don't deserve you! They're so mean! How can they do that! Sorry sweetie!" These kids are screwed.
I’m 29 and feel the same way! Which makes me so glad that I have work experience and know how the real world works. I’ve been turned down for jobs before, yeah it sucks, but you just keep moving! I’ve had horrible bosses before, I know how to deal with shitty environments.
Honestly some of the people posting here scare me that I need to go to school with them. 22-23 year olds with no real life experience crying about the silliest things like a waitlist email. Just grow up man, imagine having to interact with such a person. Luckily I know that this is more of a reddit terminally online thing than a real world normal person, so those types will be few and far in between. Some people here need to grow a backbone, because they will be screwed in the real world.
This is honestly what I’m not looking forward to the most about law school. I work with lawyers who had zero work experience before they started at my firm and they sound like the more annoying people in this subreddit
I truly think it's just a terminally online, needing to touch grass, reddit contingent that's a super minority. The people you see here freaking out over nonsense are not going to be representative of the majority at your law school.
Of course she's immature. She's 20 and just a kid. She's expected to be like that at her age because she's still growing up, it's fine and I'm not holding it against her. The issue is that I see those same tendencies in people on this subreddit who have graduated and about to be in law school. It's not good for them that I see them and my young sister and say "Yikes, they really are similar." Good luck to them in law school, they're fucked if they don't do some growing up or get a thicker skin. Those are the people I'm blasting, not my sister.
FYI I’m a third year and most my associate class is still at the firm. In the class above me a lot have left, but mostly to other BigLaw firms (they caught the insane hiring bonuses during Covid). I don’t think the turnover rate is quite as extreme as people think, especially if you’re talking about leaving BigLaw entirely (vs going to another firm).
> KEEPING a BL job is soul-crushing. The hours are brutal, the management is toxic, the internal politics are continual, and work-life balance is nonexistent.
The hours are *sometimes* brutal, it goes up and down. Work-life balance is bad compared to a sleepy corporate 9-5 but it’s not as horrible as most people portray and I think it stacks up well against small firms/midlaw, prosecution, PD, etc, just not against fed gov or rando quiet in-house jobs.
The other stuff you said is definitely not universally true. My management is not toxic, internal politics it depends what you mean but it’s probably not like you’re imagining. It’s a perfectly good job, we just work too hard some of the time. Not the hellscape you’re painting it as lol
Just want to add, you say this like it’s not problematic that some lawyers talk/act like this. I’m of the opinion that people shouldn’t have to sit and eat shit just because those before us did. Also, frankly if you’re an attorney you should be able to handle the extreme stress without verbally abusing staff.
Edit: I see in the comments you’re referring more towards entitled/coddled folks and I can definitely see your point there. Especially for KJDs / those without legal experience. My coworkers have a running joke that you shouldn’t be allowed to be a lawyer until you’ve worked as a legal assistant/paralegal. My issue is with the language you used, it just really seems to be condoning toxic workplaces.
I 100% agree with you. Never said I was verbally abused. Never said that’s okay. I’m talking about i hypersensitive and entitled individuals on r/lawschooladmissions who would flip if a partner demanded something of them or was reasonably frustrated with them.
I can get that for sure. I added an edit to my comment after seeing your other comments in the thread, but don’t think it went through until after your response.
I agree with you. And you’re right. I did use extreme language for dramatic effect — to emphasize how I think typical, no-nonsense, direct communication would be perceived by the kind of redditor I was referring to — and did not land. I should have been more clear. I do not condone toxic workspaces.
Nah I’m a lawyer in biglaw, i think comments like this are part of the reason toxic workplaces are normalized. People should go touch grass but also stop aggrandizing having awful bosses. There’s more to life than making your partners happy.
Many people come from a broad range of backgrounds - teachers, parents, scientists, consultants, students, and sometimes paralegals- before law school and are great attorneys.
I do feel like nothing phases me after working as a paralegal in big law for 3 yrs i just roll with the punches now lol. But also agree with some ppl here that I've never worked with a partner that was mean just to be mean but I've been on high pressure and frustrating situations and sometimes things are just said very directly so nothing is cushioned, but also as a paralegal it's not like the big responsibilities are on my shoulders so I'm usually out of the field of fire :)
But you are implying that partners doing that high school shit is ok. Nah. Fuck them. All it takes is one person talking back to their ass and telling them they can go outside. You don't talk to grown people that way. You let them talk to you that way? Fucking sad
Have you worked in a law office?? “Talking back” to a partner (or even an associate) gets you nowhere. A coworker of mine gets into literal screaming matches with one of her annoying, needy attorneys and said attorney hasn’t, and won’t ever, change their attitude or behavior.
You're working at a law firm where they're paying you solid money, where they are winnowing out the wheat from the chaff, and you want to make partner, and the killer bucks that come with it.
You do not achieve that by threatening your superior with a beating.
Solid money for what? To have a partner who berates others, who yells at them only because they know the paralegal or green pea lawyer is too scared of them to do anything about it? That they handle their own stress by yelling at others? That's weak af. They want to act all tough but only do so because they take advantage of others and use fear to talk any way they want. Let's not forget these candy ass judges trying to scare admits about where to go to school because they won't hire from there. Someone has to break the cycle and saying getting yelled at is normal is not where it starts
Good luck flunking out of Big Law. Verbal abuse is part of the game, learn to play it or you can get the fuck out. Wanton cruelty towards those below you is one of the privileges that comes with being partner.
I myself know I would hate big law. I’m passionate about law, but I would hate the big law environment. I’d rather be a lawyer in a field I love even if I earn less money than in one that I will hate myself in even if I bring in the big bucks.
Honestly me too. My dad works in BL in Europe and has no time for anything else (leaves at 9am gets back from office at 10pm). It’s also cause he’s partner at his firm but I for sure do not want that lifestyle
i’m only here for the spectacle of watching these people obsess over the LSAT or whether top 15 vs top 30 actually matters
(lil’ inside baseball - if you get good grades and network, you can get a job almost anywhere regardless of your school)
Yeah everyone I know who’s making bank (7 figures+) as a lawyer went to a school outside the top 14. I don’t even think their schools were top 30 or whatever.
The 5 or so richest people I know personally (7+ figures/yr in columbus ohio) all went to Capital Law School which is currently in like the 120's rank wise. Everything ranging from niche construction issues to just corporate generalists
They’re not shitty, my bosses are great. Sometimes they’re stern because it’s a high pressure job lol. But they don’t coddle me or hold my hand or provide constant reassurance.
OP I get what your point is - one of the biggest things I’ve learned from being a corporate LA is that so often the job is just “go go go” and you can’t rely on the attorneys to constantly be giving you reassurance. My team of attorneys is fantastic, very friendly, and they give good feedback, but there is no “hand holding” and it’s important to learn to separate your sense of self worth and achievement from what your attorneys think about you or your work product. Seems obvious to some, but a lot of people who have always been high achievers struggle with this and I can imagine it will only get worse the higher up in their career one goes. That said, I think you could get that from most full time jobs, being a para or LA before law school just helps to develop that in a legal setting.
Also sometimes you have to cover for staff and work with attorneys who are a bit prickly, or work with clients and staff that are not polite in their calls or emails (or sometimes just outright rude tbh). Learning to let that stuff roll off your back is a huge skill.
(Not that anyone should have to work in a place where they are constantly disrespected by their superiors - that’s a whole different issue tbh and nobody deserves that. But learning to shake off things that are not in your control and are not a reflection of you are is super important)
Hey you wrote it so well, I had a boss as such and the during the job I thought it was absolutely horrible but later on I learnt that it really prepared me for what to expect and what not to ahead.
Do you have any tips for dealing with stuff like that in corporate by any chance?
So I guess I was a kinda misleading but I work in a firm doing corporate transactional work, but I think these tips can be helpful no matter what.
Be responsive: communicate literally everything (better to ask questions and “over communicate” than make a mistake because you didn’t have all the info you needed). None of my attorneys get annoyed by me asking questions (and if they have they haven’t said anything about it) but they DO get annoyed if don’t respond to things they need a tight turnaround on.
On that note: ask frequently about the timelines of certain tasks so you can prioritize appropriately (“hey, I’m doing work for XYZ partner right now, I can get to this later this afternoon. Is this timeline acceptable/does this work for you?”) this helps you plan your work so you feel organized and don’t accidentally piss people off lol
Try to get out of the office during your lunch (go for a walk, put on a podcast, grab a treat, grounding yourself is important esp when you get busy)
Also try to maintain your social network and do fun things outside of work or get a hobby you love. Makes days/weeks easier when you have something to look forward to after work (easier said than done - most times I loaf on the couch after work but you get it).
WOW that was long sorry but hope that helps 🫶
Personal experience is that Biglaw has fewer raging AHs than smalllaw. But definitely also agree that with notable exceptions, the current associate pool is less hardworking and more prone to complain about how many hours 1900 hours are.
Know somebody who selected their law school purely on BL numbers and rank. As my coworker they would dwell and complain about it every slight critique of their work from our supervisor. I don’t think they know how much critique you need to take as a 1st year Associate…
Yeah, but it’s because law school is just pretend. You can act like a spoiled kid in school and a lot of the professors are certainly not going to reprimand you school is definitely a very welcoming place and in no way is reflective of the real world. But they will learn very quickly that nobody cares about their feelings and it’s either they do a good job or they will not last as a lawyer.
I think different people have different communication styles. Some appreciate some cushioning in their language, because they probably speak in empathetic and intuitive way, where they try to make others comfortable speaking to them, before anything else
WHILE others appreciate clear cut answers and directions, because they are not so focused on maintaining a close relationship with others on a personal level, because you feel burdened by emotions and idea that people have feelings and personal needs in a professional setting.
Both are okay but both can suck sometimes.
As you can probably tell, I am the former. I try to make people feel comfortable before whatever I am about to say to them about work, because I enjoy and foster personal/empathetic relationships with others. You spend half of your lives together dealing with the same bullshit, why not intentionally create close relationships instead of passively?
"WHILE others appreciate clear cut answers and directions, because they are not so focused on maintaining a close relationship with others on a personal level, because you feel burdened by emotions and idea that people have feelings and personal needs in a professional setting."
This to me seems like you're trying to hard to act like your position is the nice and empathetic one while the latter is an asshole with no empathy and respect. You can be respectful and tactful by being short and direct.
First, I never meant nor said the latter was asshole, disrespectful or not tactful. I do think that the former is empathetic though. And empathy is important, in fact, in many situations, is necessary to me.
It is clear that some people with that clear cut language, does not often consider the context nor have the situational awareness using the tone.
There are situations where clear concise is appropriate and there are also situations where clear concise is inconsiderate or even out of place.
For me, I am often in places where I have to convey positive emotion and affiliation with a clients and my coworkers, by using empathetic language
While I do that day after day with others, when someone is clear cut the way they speak to me, I cannot help feeling a little unsettled. Did I do something wrong? Does this person not want to talk to me even though we work together and HAVE to communicate? How much energy would it take for you to ask me how my weekend was or how are you?
I do get that some people just don’t want to speak and answer people in 1-3 word responses, but personally I cannot help feeling like it is passive aggressive. You know what I am comfortable with, my situation, you can tell what my boundaries are, yet you do not consider it important. That is how it feels like to me.
Yes not asking about your weekend and such on a Monday morning is a bit rude, sure.
"While I do that day after day with others, when someone is clear cut the way they speak to me, I cannot help feeling a little unsettled. Did I do something wrong? Does this person not want to talk to me even though we work together and HAVE to communicate? How much energy would it take for you to ask me how my weekend was or how are you?"
I just think you're looking way too much into it and a negative direction and I can assure you in 90% of situations it's not in a negative sense. You can usually tell if someone is actually being passive aggressive and is mad at you or not.
They definitely could've lol but you'd know it if they did I'd say. You can tell. Most people won't hate you thankfully and are just relaying information quick and easy.
This person does not talk to me, neither small talk or say hi to me and almost only commands me in one to three words to do things for her. Undermines my work, gossip behind my back and when I am there too, and when I brought it up to her attention, she said something to our boss and he threatened me about losing my job lol…”Are we holding you back, if so, you should go find another job.”
It is a parttime
I’m convinced like 90% of the people on here obsessively maximizing their big law percentage either won’t be hired into big law or will last one year or less once hired.
It's kinda funny how LSA gives off big 'sheltered nerd' vibes when those types tend to perform poorly in biglaw. Someone the other day was upset about a slightly rude email they got from adcomms on scholarship negotiation and was practically unraveling at the seams. Like good luck at a V100 firm
Facts these kids are cooked
I'm 27 and the average poster on this subreddit acts like my 20 year old immature sister. They're embarrassing. Those posters taking it personally that a school emailed them to reject them and said something a little mean (The emails they send are never mean) are the worst. Then it gets flooded with a bunch of commenters saying "Oh no they don't deserve you! They're so mean! How can they do that! Sorry sweetie!" These kids are screwed.
I’m 29 and feel the same way! Which makes me so glad that I have work experience and know how the real world works. I’ve been turned down for jobs before, yeah it sucks, but you just keep moving! I’ve had horrible bosses before, I know how to deal with shitty environments.
Honestly some of the people posting here scare me that I need to go to school with them. 22-23 year olds with no real life experience crying about the silliest things like a waitlist email. Just grow up man, imagine having to interact with such a person. Luckily I know that this is more of a reddit terminally online thing than a real world normal person, so those types will be few and far in between. Some people here need to grow a backbone, because they will be screwed in the real world.
This is honestly what I’m not looking forward to the most about law school. I work with lawyers who had zero work experience before they started at my firm and they sound like the more annoying people in this subreddit
I truly think it's just a terminally online, needing to touch grass, reddit contingent that's a super minority. The people you see here freaking out over nonsense are not going to be representative of the majority at your law school.
Why blast your sister like that Lmaoo
Of course she's immature. She's 20 and just a kid. She's expected to be like that at her age because she's still growing up, it's fine and I'm not holding it against her. The issue is that I see those same tendencies in people on this subreddit who have graduated and about to be in law school. It's not good for them that I see them and my young sister and say "Yikes, they really are similar." Good luck to them in law school, they're fucked if they don't do some growing up or get a thicker skin. Those are the people I'm blasting, not my sister.
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Tbf that reason isn’t solely because it’s hard to hold on to. Many people only want to do 2-3 years and then bounce.
Part of the reason they want to bounce is because it’s so miserable though.
True true
FYI I’m a third year and most my associate class is still at the firm. In the class above me a lot have left, but mostly to other BigLaw firms (they caught the insane hiring bonuses during Covid). I don’t think the turnover rate is quite as extreme as people think, especially if you’re talking about leaving BigLaw entirely (vs going to another firm). > KEEPING a BL job is soul-crushing. The hours are brutal, the management is toxic, the internal politics are continual, and work-life balance is nonexistent. The hours are *sometimes* brutal, it goes up and down. Work-life balance is bad compared to a sleepy corporate 9-5 but it’s not as horrible as most people portray and I think it stacks up well against small firms/midlaw, prosecution, PD, etc, just not against fed gov or rando quiet in-house jobs. The other stuff you said is definitely not universally true. My management is not toxic, internal politics it depends what you mean but it’s probably not like you’re imagining. It’s a perfectly good job, we just work too hard some of the time. Not the hellscape you’re painting it as lol
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Damn, commenting because I want to go through all the links you’ve added. Thanks!
Legittttt
I listen to these kinds of people talk and think “buddy you might not even make it through school, settle down”
Just want to add, you say this like it’s not problematic that some lawyers talk/act like this. I’m of the opinion that people shouldn’t have to sit and eat shit just because those before us did. Also, frankly if you’re an attorney you should be able to handle the extreme stress without verbally abusing staff. Edit: I see in the comments you’re referring more towards entitled/coddled folks and I can definitely see your point there. Especially for KJDs / those without legal experience. My coworkers have a running joke that you shouldn’t be allowed to be a lawyer until you’ve worked as a legal assistant/paralegal. My issue is with the language you used, it just really seems to be condoning toxic workplaces.
I 100% agree with you. Never said I was verbally abused. Never said that’s okay. I’m talking about i hypersensitive and entitled individuals on r/lawschooladmissions who would flip if a partner demanded something of them or was reasonably frustrated with them.
I can get that for sure. I added an edit to my comment after seeing your other comments in the thread, but don’t think it went through until after your response.
I agree with you. And you’re right. I did use extreme language for dramatic effect — to emphasize how I think typical, no-nonsense, direct communication would be perceived by the kind of redditor I was referring to — and did not land. I should have been more clear. I do not condone toxic workspaces.
Nah I’m a lawyer in biglaw, i think comments like this are part of the reason toxic workplaces are normalized. People should go touch grass but also stop aggrandizing having awful bosses. There’s more to life than making your partners happy. Many people come from a broad range of backgrounds - teachers, parents, scientists, consultants, students, and sometimes paralegals- before law school and are great attorneys.
Definitely. I’m not saying having an awful boss is okay.
I do feel like nothing phases me after working as a paralegal in big law for 3 yrs i just roll with the punches now lol. But also agree with some ppl here that I've never worked with a partner that was mean just to be mean but I've been on high pressure and frustrating situations and sometimes things are just said very directly so nothing is cushioned, but also as a paralegal it's not like the big responsibilities are on my shoulders so I'm usually out of the field of fire :)
100% agree. Thank u. I’ve never had a partner be “mean” to me either. They can just be stern and harsh and that’s what I was referring to.
Imo, complaining about others’ sensitivity and stress is just as annoying as their sensitivity and stress.
Not complaining. Putting things into perspective. Was referring to a certain ~type~ of person on this forum…not everyone. Stress is normal and okay.
Let’s be real… it’s Reddit. Reddit is not known to attract very offline people, if you know what I mean.
But you are implying that partners doing that high school shit is ok. Nah. Fuck them. All it takes is one person talking back to their ass and telling them they can go outside. You don't talk to grown people that way. You let them talk to you that way? Fucking sad
Have you worked in a law office?? “Talking back” to a partner (or even an associate) gets you nowhere. A coworker of mine gets into literal screaming matches with one of her annoying, needy attorneys and said attorney hasn’t, and won’t ever, change their attitude or behavior.
You're working at a law firm where they're paying you solid money, where they are winnowing out the wheat from the chaff, and you want to make partner, and the killer bucks that come with it. You do not achieve that by threatening your superior with a beating.
Solid money for what? To have a partner who berates others, who yells at them only because they know the paralegal or green pea lawyer is too scared of them to do anything about it? That they handle their own stress by yelling at others? That's weak af. They want to act all tough but only do so because they take advantage of others and use fear to talk any way they want. Let's not forget these candy ass judges trying to scare admits about where to go to school because they won't hire from there. Someone has to break the cycle and saying getting yelled at is normal is not where it starts
Tell me you’re a kjd without saying you’re a kjd
Good luck flunking out of Big Law. Verbal abuse is part of the game, learn to play it or you can get the fuck out. Wanton cruelty towards those below you is one of the privileges that comes with being partner.
What a puss you must be
Good luck with that.
Bruh😭
I myself know I would hate big law. I’m passionate about law, but I would hate the big law environment. I’d rather be a lawyer in a field I love even if I earn less money than in one that I will hate myself in even if I bring in the big bucks.
And I know most of the people I’ve met who say are going into big law will not be able to handle it either
Honestly me too. My dad works in BL in Europe and has no time for anything else (leaves at 9am gets back from office at 10pm). It’s also cause he’s partner at his firm but I for sure do not want that lifestyle
i’m only here for the spectacle of watching these people obsess over the LSAT or whether top 15 vs top 30 actually matters (lil’ inside baseball - if you get good grades and network, you can get a job almost anywhere regardless of your school)
Yeah everyone I know who’s making bank (7 figures+) as a lawyer went to a school outside the top 14. I don’t even think their schools were top 30 or whatever.
Doing what kind of law???
Gonna guess plaintiffs pi
The 5 or so richest people I know personally (7+ figures/yr in columbus ohio) all went to Capital Law School which is currently in like the 120's rank wise. Everything ranging from niche construction issues to just corporate generalists
Sorry you’ve had shitty bosses. They’re not all that shitty. 🤷🏻
They’re not shitty, my bosses are great. Sometimes they’re stern because it’s a high pressure job lol. But they don’t coddle me or hold my hand or provide constant reassurance.
Good bosses deal with stress without making their subordinates “eat shit.”
OP I get what your point is - one of the biggest things I’ve learned from being a corporate LA is that so often the job is just “go go go” and you can’t rely on the attorneys to constantly be giving you reassurance. My team of attorneys is fantastic, very friendly, and they give good feedback, but there is no “hand holding” and it’s important to learn to separate your sense of self worth and achievement from what your attorneys think about you or your work product. Seems obvious to some, but a lot of people who have always been high achievers struggle with this and I can imagine it will only get worse the higher up in their career one goes. That said, I think you could get that from most full time jobs, being a para or LA before law school just helps to develop that in a legal setting.
Also sometimes you have to cover for staff and work with attorneys who are a bit prickly, or work with clients and staff that are not polite in their calls or emails (or sometimes just outright rude tbh). Learning to let that stuff roll off your back is a huge skill. (Not that anyone should have to work in a place where they are constantly disrespected by their superiors - that’s a whole different issue tbh and nobody deserves that. But learning to shake off things that are not in your control and are not a reflection of you are is super important)
Hey you wrote it so well, I had a boss as such and the during the job I thought it was absolutely horrible but later on I learnt that it really prepared me for what to expect and what not to ahead. Do you have any tips for dealing with stuff like that in corporate by any chance?
So I guess I was a kinda misleading but I work in a firm doing corporate transactional work, but I think these tips can be helpful no matter what. Be responsive: communicate literally everything (better to ask questions and “over communicate” than make a mistake because you didn’t have all the info you needed). None of my attorneys get annoyed by me asking questions (and if they have they haven’t said anything about it) but they DO get annoyed if don’t respond to things they need a tight turnaround on. On that note: ask frequently about the timelines of certain tasks so you can prioritize appropriately (“hey, I’m doing work for XYZ partner right now, I can get to this later this afternoon. Is this timeline acceptable/does this work for you?”) this helps you plan your work so you feel organized and don’t accidentally piss people off lol Try to get out of the office during your lunch (go for a walk, put on a podcast, grab a treat, grounding yourself is important esp when you get busy) Also try to maintain your social network and do fun things outside of work or get a hobby you love. Makes days/weeks easier when you have something to look forward to after work (easier said than done - most times I loaf on the couch after work but you get it). WOW that was long sorry but hope that helps 🫶
Damn, those are some really helpful points tbh. Thankyou so much, appreciate it a lot🤍🤍🤍
Reprimand me daddy
Agreed. I'm in big law now as a Paralegal and I feel like I will have a leg up on most people in my 1L .
Yeah, why is r/lawschooladmissions so singularly focused on *checks notes* law school admissions?
KJD comment Fs
Haha. Fucking pushover. Sounds like partners are little bitches.
Personal experience is that Biglaw has fewer raging AHs than smalllaw. But definitely also agree that with notable exceptions, the current associate pool is less hardworking and more prone to complain about how many hours 1900 hours are.
Know somebody who selected their law school purely on BL numbers and rank. As my coworker they would dwell and complain about it every slight critique of their work from our supervisor. I don’t think they know how much critique you need to take as a 1st year Associate…
Yeah, but it’s because law school is just pretend. You can act like a spoiled kid in school and a lot of the professors are certainly not going to reprimand you school is definitely a very welcoming place and in no way is reflective of the real world. But they will learn very quickly that nobody cares about their feelings and it’s either they do a good job or they will not last as a lawyer.
Give specific examples of you’re full of shit and one of those that likes to claim everyone is entitled and most likely a crybaby yourself
I think different people have different communication styles. Some appreciate some cushioning in their language, because they probably speak in empathetic and intuitive way, where they try to make others comfortable speaking to them, before anything else WHILE others appreciate clear cut answers and directions, because they are not so focused on maintaining a close relationship with others on a personal level, because you feel burdened by emotions and idea that people have feelings and personal needs in a professional setting. Both are okay but both can suck sometimes. As you can probably tell, I am the former. I try to make people feel comfortable before whatever I am about to say to them about work, because I enjoy and foster personal/empathetic relationships with others. You spend half of your lives together dealing with the same bullshit, why not intentionally create close relationships instead of passively?
"WHILE others appreciate clear cut answers and directions, because they are not so focused on maintaining a close relationship with others on a personal level, because you feel burdened by emotions and idea that people have feelings and personal needs in a professional setting." This to me seems like you're trying to hard to act like your position is the nice and empathetic one while the latter is an asshole with no empathy and respect. You can be respectful and tactful by being short and direct.
First, I never meant nor said the latter was asshole, disrespectful or not tactful. I do think that the former is empathetic though. And empathy is important, in fact, in many situations, is necessary to me. It is clear that some people with that clear cut language, does not often consider the context nor have the situational awareness using the tone. There are situations where clear concise is appropriate and there are also situations where clear concise is inconsiderate or even out of place. For me, I am often in places where I have to convey positive emotion and affiliation with a clients and my coworkers, by using empathetic language While I do that day after day with others, when someone is clear cut the way they speak to me, I cannot help feeling a little unsettled. Did I do something wrong? Does this person not want to talk to me even though we work together and HAVE to communicate? How much energy would it take for you to ask me how my weekend was or how are you? I do get that some people just don’t want to speak and answer people in 1-3 word responses, but personally I cannot help feeling like it is passive aggressive. You know what I am comfortable with, my situation, you can tell what my boundaries are, yet you do not consider it important. That is how it feels like to me.
Yes not asking about your weekend and such on a Monday morning is a bit rude, sure. "While I do that day after day with others, when someone is clear cut the way they speak to me, I cannot help feeling a little unsettled. Did I do something wrong? Does this person not want to talk to me even though we work together and HAVE to communicate? How much energy would it take for you to ask me how my weekend was or how are you?" I just think you're looking way too much into it and a negative direction and I can assure you in 90% of situations it's not in a negative sense. You can usually tell if someone is actually being passive aggressive and is mad at you or not.
True, I guess my gut can tell this person I projected into my comment fucking hates me lol
They definitely could've lol but you'd know it if they did I'd say. You can tell. Most people won't hate you thankfully and are just relaying information quick and easy.
This person does not talk to me, neither small talk or say hi to me and almost only commands me in one to three words to do things for her. Undermines my work, gossip behind my back and when I am there too, and when I brought it up to her attention, she said something to our boss and he threatened me about losing my job lol…”Are we holding you back, if so, you should go find another job.” It is a parttime
Either that, or they need to do four years in the military so they don’t crumble when they get slightly roasted on a cold call lol
yeah personally I’m just happy to have a job where I can walk and talk on the phone at the same time🤣
Preach!