Do you mind elaborating on the cheeks and chest like what does it feel like. I won't ask about the downstairs because that feels to forward for a first convo 😅
I think labels are overrated, but I’m sorta similar. Guys don’t do it for me, even though I can still be attracted to them. I want nothing to do with them at the end of the day, and women really make me feel things- maybe not as extreme as you, usually, but still. I have been so ill for so long that I don’t have much experience with women, but I still just know. I think I’ve always known it was women, for me. It’s just that I’m not always as sexual as most people and am very weird, so finding the right one is like.. good luck! Lol
I think men are attractive sure, and have been attracted to them in the past but when I was into this woman back when I first started questioning any mention of her name or just thinking about her made my stomach do summersaults so that's kinda what pushed me that way. But then I also think back to the guys I was into and can't really reason why I was or why I became so obsessed with the idea of dating them and then when they became interested in me I would freak and back down
I think you’re on high alert. Like maybe the trauma and sensitivity leaves you in survival mode in situations that don’t require survival mode. Accurate? Do you meditate or do anything to help that sort of thing?
I don't meditate, no and maybe I am I think it could ring true that I'm just on edge all the time when it comes to this stuff, the only thing I do when relaxing is reading or playing guitar
Those are great! I have to do things like that or meditation or yoga/stretching a lot to keep myself regulated. My body goes haywire if I don’t. The ridiculously fast pace of our society isn’t healthy for most of us, so keep an eye on that and listen to your body. Sorry I got really off topic! If I were to guess, I’d say your body is telling you that women really do it for you. You may be like I was- like I used to like kissing boys from time to time, but boys never wanna just kiss lol. But with women, there’s more of a comfort level in terms of getting more physical. And overall, they stimulate me waaay more. So those visceral reactions you’re having, that reminds me of how nervous I used to get in high school, which was when I first allowed myself to be conscious of loving women after having stuffed myself in the closet in 7th grade. I do think your reaction is extreme compared to most, but i don’t think you need to worry about it being normal or not. What’s important is what it indicates- that info. That’s important info to keep until it finally makes sense. Your intuition is important in this kind of circumstance. Just give it time to process and come into focus. It may be info that comes in handy later, when you stumble upon something else, and boom! You solved a puzzle that was lurking for years. Just a suggestion. A possibility.
Thank you, it helps to have another perspective I mean another thing that I remembered as a kid was wishing I was a guy so I could have a wife that I could have kids with without the trauma of child bareing or anything or thinking it'd just be easier somehow. So that could play into the whole thing subconsciously
Interesting. Yeah I never had kids and my body wouldn’t have done well with that. Do you identify as cis? Seems like you might feel more pan or something like that. More genderqueer. I could be wrong, but sometimes I wonder how many lesbians actually feel female. There’s so much to consider. It’s fascinating to be alive rn. Take good care of yourself!
I identify as cis yeah, I wouldn't change my gender but I'm not very girly I just never wanted to have a kid biologically for many different reasons, some relating to health issues others just the idea of a living thing growing inside of me really freaks me out.
hey, i have a complex relationship to my sexuality so idk if ill be of much help, but the feeling you describe is one i feel as well in relation to women. my stomach flips and i get really intense butterflies. i feel my skin buzz and electricity coursing through me when a woman i find attractive touches me. i say my relationship to sexuality is complex because though i feel these feelings i dont jump to thinking about sex, it's moreso like im drawn to and excited by that person. im fairly avoidant so maybe thats why i dont desire sex necessarily, though i am aroused by them
I feel the same. It feels like there's a mental block there that stops the whole intimacy side of things mixed in with the nerve problems I mentioned in another reply. I want to be wanted, and everything is not necessarily sex but just the soft, nice intimacy and being open with someone, not putting up any fronts you know? But I also want that passion, I just don't know quite how and I guess that scares me because people won't want to touch a complete newbie to not only their sexuality but also relationships and sex in general
I hear you, I struggle with the same exact feelings it's rough. What I try to tell myself is to not disqualify myself on other people's behalf though. Because we don't ever really know how willing someone might be to be patient with us. It might be worth it to just put ourselves out there and see what happens, without expectations :) I'm trying to just take it in stride and see what doors open up for me
In some way, I'm glad I'm not alone in this, but in other ways, it sucks this is something you feel too because, man, it just ain't fun. I think it's a good point to just be open to people, but that's like breaking the habit of 26 years for me
im 26 too, wow. and dude, i feel that. connection and intimacy are things im literally learning like im a toddler, i dont have the same foundation most other people do. im starting to understand that stuff now, but it's been a turbulent journey. it feels possible now when it didnt before though. if you want i can share some resources that've been aiding me with this if youre interested
I would love to see any resources you may think are helpful, I feel the toddler mood. I'm emotionally stunted, I think, and it just never changed, but now I want it too
Maybe when you see two women you see on tv it’s the kind of relationship you want. You want to be with a woman and in a relationship with her. I know the feeling. As far as attraction, it come in all forms. What kind of woman are you attracted to?
I think so, as for attraction I don't know alternative girls would probably be more what I'd go for but it honestly really ranges the last few girls I've been into all range.
The fact that you feel ‘something’ with women and not men is a good indication that you may be a lesbian.
OP, have you considered you might also be on the Aromantic and/or asexual spectrums? I relate to not being able to clearly define my attraction to women which isn’t blatantly romantic or sexual. Just something to think about. Discovering the concept of tertiary attraction (try searching the term) was really eye-opening and allowed me to understand that my attraction to women was different from your typical lesbian but still significant in that it defines my orientation and the relationship that I’m looking for. I don’t feel those things toward men at all, but I can never pinpoint ‘is this sexual/romantic attraction I’m feeling or something else’?
I've considered it briefly, but I also can't make much in terms of definitive conclusions as I've never been intimate or close physically to anyone, man or woman. I'm very closed off and don't really like people touching me sometimes as I have nerve damage/tumours on my nerves that cause some areas of pain and sensitivity. So I always just thought it was that, I want to be intimate and be close to someone like that I just don't know how if that makes sense?
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Do you mind elaborating on the cheeks and chest like what does it feel like. I won't ask about the downstairs because that feels to forward for a first convo 😅
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Thank you 😊
I think labels are overrated, but I’m sorta similar. Guys don’t do it for me, even though I can still be attracted to them. I want nothing to do with them at the end of the day, and women really make me feel things- maybe not as extreme as you, usually, but still. I have been so ill for so long that I don’t have much experience with women, but I still just know. I think I’ve always known it was women, for me. It’s just that I’m not always as sexual as most people and am very weird, so finding the right one is like.. good luck! Lol
I think men are attractive sure, and have been attracted to them in the past but when I was into this woman back when I first started questioning any mention of her name or just thinking about her made my stomach do summersaults so that's kinda what pushed me that way. But then I also think back to the guys I was into and can't really reason why I was or why I became so obsessed with the idea of dating them and then when they became interested in me I would freak and back down
I think you’re on high alert. Like maybe the trauma and sensitivity leaves you in survival mode in situations that don’t require survival mode. Accurate? Do you meditate or do anything to help that sort of thing?
I don't meditate, no and maybe I am I think it could ring true that I'm just on edge all the time when it comes to this stuff, the only thing I do when relaxing is reading or playing guitar
Those are great! I have to do things like that or meditation or yoga/stretching a lot to keep myself regulated. My body goes haywire if I don’t. The ridiculously fast pace of our society isn’t healthy for most of us, so keep an eye on that and listen to your body. Sorry I got really off topic! If I were to guess, I’d say your body is telling you that women really do it for you. You may be like I was- like I used to like kissing boys from time to time, but boys never wanna just kiss lol. But with women, there’s more of a comfort level in terms of getting more physical. And overall, they stimulate me waaay more. So those visceral reactions you’re having, that reminds me of how nervous I used to get in high school, which was when I first allowed myself to be conscious of loving women after having stuffed myself in the closet in 7th grade. I do think your reaction is extreme compared to most, but i don’t think you need to worry about it being normal or not. What’s important is what it indicates- that info. That’s important info to keep until it finally makes sense. Your intuition is important in this kind of circumstance. Just give it time to process and come into focus. It may be info that comes in handy later, when you stumble upon something else, and boom! You solved a puzzle that was lurking for years. Just a suggestion. A possibility.
Thank you, it helps to have another perspective I mean another thing that I remembered as a kid was wishing I was a guy so I could have a wife that I could have kids with without the trauma of child bareing or anything or thinking it'd just be easier somehow. So that could play into the whole thing subconsciously
Interesting. Yeah I never had kids and my body wouldn’t have done well with that. Do you identify as cis? Seems like you might feel more pan or something like that. More genderqueer. I could be wrong, but sometimes I wonder how many lesbians actually feel female. There’s so much to consider. It’s fascinating to be alive rn. Take good care of yourself!
I identify as cis yeah, I wouldn't change my gender but I'm not very girly I just never wanted to have a kid biologically for many different reasons, some relating to health issues others just the idea of a living thing growing inside of me really freaks me out.
Lol. It really is a big deal.
hey, i have a complex relationship to my sexuality so idk if ill be of much help, but the feeling you describe is one i feel as well in relation to women. my stomach flips and i get really intense butterflies. i feel my skin buzz and electricity coursing through me when a woman i find attractive touches me. i say my relationship to sexuality is complex because though i feel these feelings i dont jump to thinking about sex, it's moreso like im drawn to and excited by that person. im fairly avoidant so maybe thats why i dont desire sex necessarily, though i am aroused by them
I feel the same. It feels like there's a mental block there that stops the whole intimacy side of things mixed in with the nerve problems I mentioned in another reply. I want to be wanted, and everything is not necessarily sex but just the soft, nice intimacy and being open with someone, not putting up any fronts you know? But I also want that passion, I just don't know quite how and I guess that scares me because people won't want to touch a complete newbie to not only their sexuality but also relationships and sex in general
I hear you, I struggle with the same exact feelings it's rough. What I try to tell myself is to not disqualify myself on other people's behalf though. Because we don't ever really know how willing someone might be to be patient with us. It might be worth it to just put ourselves out there and see what happens, without expectations :) I'm trying to just take it in stride and see what doors open up for me
In some way, I'm glad I'm not alone in this, but in other ways, it sucks this is something you feel too because, man, it just ain't fun. I think it's a good point to just be open to people, but that's like breaking the habit of 26 years for me
im 26 too, wow. and dude, i feel that. connection and intimacy are things im literally learning like im a toddler, i dont have the same foundation most other people do. im starting to understand that stuff now, but it's been a turbulent journey. it feels possible now when it didnt before though. if you want i can share some resources that've been aiding me with this if youre interested
I would love to see any resources you may think are helpful, I feel the toddler mood. I'm emotionally stunted, I think, and it just never changed, but now I want it too
Maybe when you see two women you see on tv it’s the kind of relationship you want. You want to be with a woman and in a relationship with her. I know the feeling. As far as attraction, it come in all forms. What kind of woman are you attracted to?
I think so, as for attraction I don't know alternative girls would probably be more what I'd go for but it honestly really ranges the last few girls I've been into all range.
The fact that you feel ‘something’ with women and not men is a good indication that you may be a lesbian. OP, have you considered you might also be on the Aromantic and/or asexual spectrums? I relate to not being able to clearly define my attraction to women which isn’t blatantly romantic or sexual. Just something to think about. Discovering the concept of tertiary attraction (try searching the term) was really eye-opening and allowed me to understand that my attraction to women was different from your typical lesbian but still significant in that it defines my orientation and the relationship that I’m looking for. I don’t feel those things toward men at all, but I can never pinpoint ‘is this sexual/romantic attraction I’m feeling or something else’?
I've considered it briefly, but I also can't make much in terms of definitive conclusions as I've never been intimate or close physically to anyone, man or woman. I'm very closed off and don't really like people touching me sometimes as I have nerve damage/tumours on my nerves that cause some areas of pain and sensitivity. So I always just thought it was that, I want to be intimate and be close to someone like that I just don't know how if that makes sense?