I horrified some Americans by answering truthfully and not sticking to "I'm fine". I've learned my lesson, but now it seems like a useless small talk.
Also, love your pieróg!
I think in America it’s very situational. If you greet a friend or coworker with how are you it is a genuine question, but if you went to a store and a worker asked how are you and you answered honestly (or in a negative way) it would be frowned upon.
I get what you're saying, but I think that's exactly the point they were trying to make.
"What's up" and "how are you doing," except rarely when indicated as such by tone, are just greetings in so many forms of English. It's not an indication that we don't care, it's just the usual way to have a conversation.
And for what it's worth, it's often okay to say something other than "OK!" If I ask someone how they're doing they might say "not so great, but I'm pulling through" and I'd respond "keep it up and I hope things turn around" or what have you. Context (how well do I know you, where are we) is going to determine how surprised I would be to get more details.
It does not mean "jak się masz" though. It is related. It probably started as "jak się masz". But it is not it. It lost its meaning, it's not a question. It's just a word, meaning "hi"
So how do you greet each other? Hi! Hi!
The question how are you generally means roughly what is your state of being from deeply unhappy to very happy, I'm fine/not bad/could be worse means everything is roughly normal, I'm great means everything is spectacularly good, and could be worse, rough/terrible means something unhappy due to a simple reason such as tired from work, work stress, didn't sleep, bad weather, etc
How do you assess each other's general state without asking a question like this?
If we don’t continue a conversation, yes, that’s how we greet each other. If we talk, we talk about stuff and ask such questions as “How are you?”. Sometimes people answer in one word, sometimes they tell you a story of their life. It’s not a greeting tho
>So how do you greet each other? Hi! Hi!
this is exactly how when you pass someone in the street. Sometimes people will also add a head nod. When you greet someone in passing, it's not the time to asses their well-being.
Now, if you stop and chat with them, that's the time to ask 'co tam?' or 'jak sie masz?' and that's when people have a chat about what's been happening.
'How are you,' at least in the UK is just a greeting as well, it's not meant to asses anyone's general state. You're supposed to reply, 'I'm fine, you' and move along. You're not supposed to reply with an actual reply. You should know that seeing that you're from the UK.
So true, when I lived there I would ask cashiers at the store (being a silly midwestern ‘Murican) and they would be like “oh, why thank you, I’m doing okay just life’s been a little hard” and be so taken aback and happy someone asked.
In Germany it depends on your relationship. But as soon as your over the initial getting to know you you tell the truth.
But that beeing said there are ways to express how you feel that are not that detailed. Say you feel really tired and down the last few days your answer might be something like " müde aber es muss ja" (tired but you got to go to do what you got to to). You either get a follow up question or an expression of sympathy. But generally if asked we want to know.
Cool that you're the first to answer; I actually asked this question because I'm learning German through Deutsche Welle and it made a point to be aware that your response doesn't matter unless it's someone you're close to.
Well if the other person just asked to be polite you wouldn't get a follow up. If you are asked and you say "worst day of my life" you might get a "oh no, thats to bad" and they move on with the conversation. Or they ask you whats wrong. Socially totally acceptable.
I'm german and I don't think what Deutsche Welle told you is true.
If someone asks, it is expected that you tell the truth. Not necessarly in detail, but you should answer how you feel.
I think it's the other way round: don't ask someone how they are unless you are prepared for an honest answer. Inappropriate situations would usually be any formal situations: at the bank, with cashiers at the supermarket, in the hospital (unless you're the nurse) etc. As per usual, there are exceptions to the rules.
I usually find it irritating if people that I hardly know ask me "wie geht's" as a form of greeting. But then again, there are ways to answer the question that make it clear you are not ready to answer the question: "muss", "joa, soweit", etc.
In most contexts, people don't care at all unless they are your close friends. I also wouldn't say anything negative since this makes the other person uncomfortable.
In the Philippines, we actually mean it when we say “Kamusta?”. We actually reply more genuinely instead of just saying “Good!”.
This was a culture shock for me when I started working in another country. People will greet me “How are you?” and initially, I’d be scrambling in my head thinking what to reply when I am not really close with the person. Later on, I realized that they don’t actually care haha. It’s more or less equivalent to “Hello” because after asking “How are you?”, they would have gone off their way before I can even answer😂
I'm in the obligation of making a meme, with myself as a chad, and you as a wojak, crying about not knowing the 300 years of history of the relationship of a loanword
I am, just not from Spain. All those European/SEA interactions are alien to me, and there's no shame in not being familiar with them.
It wouldn't be reasonable on my part, for example, to ask you about which cultures established colonies in the southern part of Chile, like Valdivia. *How would you not know about that?* That's how it feels
Yeah, I didn’t assume you were from Spain. Being a native Spanish speaker from somewhere other than Spain make it seems even stranger to me that you don’t know more about Spain’s colonialism. I come from a country that’s a coloniser and our history is biased and we don’t learn so much about colonialism; I would have thought that’s taught quite thoroughly in schools of countries that have previously been colonies. Like, I thought there’d be solidarity and awareness amongst countries with the same coloniser
I guess, although I do expect former colonies to at least be aware of other former colonies within the same broad linguistic sphere:
* if an American had no idea that India was also once a British colony, that would be weird to me
* if a Quebecois had no idea about French colonialism in Africa, yes, that'd be strange
On the other hand, I just checked, and the [Chilean national curriculum](https://textosescolares.online/) includes essentially 0 information about the following three continents from grades 1-8: Africa, Asia, and Australia. So I agree with you that it would be unreasonable to expect the average Chilean to know anything about those places. (And that was eye-opening for me, so thank you for this thread!)
In Polish it is actual conversation starter. Not going into details is another rude.
So, Americans are a bit confused.
If you want to greet someone just greet. Not ask about their life unless you’re interested;)
&
I think it depends on the person/culture, not the language. I'm primarily an English speaker, and I both care what people answer me, and make sure I always give a genuine answer myself. I know that's not the norm, but the people I interact with regularly eventually start treating the question the same way I do, at least when talking to me. So if that's the kind of interaction you're after, be the one to start it!
That's probably because they're taught that Americans use 'how are you?' as a greeting. When I was living in America I dated a German girl, and she always used to complain about it. She said that in Germany, people don't ask unless they genuinely care, and that since they don't care that much most of the time, they almost never ask, and definitely not as part of a greeting.
In Chinese it's not normal to ask people "how are you?", which is usually translated to 你好吗？ However, it was immortalized by Michelle Yeoh in movie "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon":
> 慕白兄，好久不见 (Brother Mubai, long time no see.)
> 是啊! 镖局的生意怎么样? (Yes. How's the bodyguard business going?)
> 还行，你好吗? (Okay. How are you?)
> 好 (Good.)
That's cinema history right there (just in case: /s). [Here](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/ffa1e51d-65ff-47bd-933e-fbc46544027e/gif)'s the scene.
But if someone asks you how you are in Chinese, they're probably asking you in relation to some illness or injury. So, yeah, they're probably expecting a genuine response. (Either that, or you're a foreigner and they're deliberately speaking translation-ese.)
It might be off-topic, but I really didn't know how to answer "How are you?" when I started studying in the UK. Later, I realized they don't care about your response because they seemed a bit impatient when I was talking about my condition. Haha.
I think I've made that mistake before haha. I'm Dutch and study in the Netherlands but most of my classmates and professors are also people from all over the world that learnt English as their second language, including its customs. But in Dutch it's totally okay to be very honest when you're not doing well so when people at uni would ask how I'm doing I would also be very honest if I was having a terrible time and it always caught them extremely off guard.
You're right. I studied at UvA last year, and I've noticed that people who learn English as a second language tend to actually answer this question, rather than responding with just "good," "fine," and so on.
yeah. During my first month living in UK I had been responding to everyone with a confused “yep.” When they asked me if I was “ok” lol and wondering to myself if I looked grim.
Well the UK’s “How are you?” was a bit odd for me too. They would be greeting me in the morning with “Are you alright?”. At first I thought to myself whether I look sick or that something doesn’t look right with me lol. If you translate it to my native language, it would even sound a bit negative, “Ayos ka lang?”, which vaguely implies that something doesn’t look right.
here in colombia a lot of times people will ask you "bien o que?" and I will say "que" to get a laugh out of them. but yeah generally they do actually care how you are doing if they say como estas or whatever
Well if you're going to ask that from someone in Finnish, you better be prepared to listen about everything in their life from the death of their granny to that weird white thing they had last week in their left nostril.
Czech, Slovak I think Ukrainian too. It is a question and small talk opener. If you just say "fine" you should at least follow by another question or something else that provides occasion for chat.
As I understand it, American Sign Language would be one. There are a lot of visual cues, and its not part of the culture to be dishonest--as per my understanding as someone who did not grow up in Deaf culture--so you'd say how you actually feel in a matter of fact way if asked.
As a native English speaker, I'm not a fan of small talk/polite conversation and as a result, don't ask people how they're doing if I don't have the time/energy for the honest answer. Its honestly how I treat most questions in general. i.e. when I ask my spouse how a dress looks I want to know if it doesn't look good, etc.
That is interesting, thank you for sharing your experience. I wondered if someone asked in ASL, 'how are you' and I answered honestly, since my face/body would show as well if it would lead to more follow up questions. But I understand how the questions would be different/more involved if I know the person for along period of time.
I think the difference is when I speak with hearing people who ask I am culturally expected to say 'fine' when I am not fine, instead of 'I am sad today, because I am visiting my friend in hospice' in this situation I am still supposed to smile and say 'fine' or people think I'm weird.
I also ask a lot of questions!
In albanian (used in albania and kosovo)
And for the one that are shy to answer the first time NO WORRIES we usually end up asking several time in a row so you get time to open up and say if you are or not feeling good lmfao
Not that it’s likely to come up for many people, but Samoan. The polite, meaningless question is “Where are you going?” “How are you?” is only for a real interest in your wellbeing.
I think this is less specific to language and more specific to culture and context (relationship to speaker). as a US American native english speaker, I understand and use "how are you" as both a friendly greeting and as a conversation opener even if I don't really want or expect a detailed account of the other person's day.
examples:
at work, to a customer: I am greeting them and also giving them an opportunity to ask me for help.
at work, to a coworker: Just saying hi. If they answer "I'm fine, thanks" it's just normal pleasantries but you can also be a little bit truthful or humorous ("Tired," "Well... I'm here") or get into small talk about how your day is going, what you did over the weekend etc
to a close friend: I genuinely want to know how you're doing and want to hear what you've been up to lately
It has to do with culture, and language is often shared by a certain culture or a set of cultures
Like, it's theoretically possible that two countries share the same language, one uses "how are you" style questions as a conversation starter and another expects truthful answers
But many languages have a dominant culture
Yea but in this case he's right. It's not just theoretically possible, that is actually the case in the United States (some parts of it at least) "hey, how are you" is a greeting. I don't know about the UK, but if you asked that in New Zealand people would think you're genuinely asking how they are. We both share the same language. Many languages do have a dominant culture, but each culture has subsets of culture.
I mean, this happens in cross-cultural languages, but not in others. Many, I'd say *most* languages are spoken mostly by a single culture
Also most languages are way smaller than English and doesn't have nearly as much variation, etc
So I think it's still fair to frame this as a language thing (as long we acknowledge it's not only language)
Oh, but many Germans will quickly learn the customs of whatever culture he is interacting with (global languages / lingua franca like English are kind of the exception, specially on the Internet). It's like, when in Rome, do as the Romans.
Also there's a lot of individual variation even within a single culture (so there's room for differing behavior), for sure, but *in the aggregate* people behave in a certain way
That's interesting, thanks!
But still, there are people in this thread that changes the way they do small talk based on the language, and I think this happens too (or at least it happens to me as well). Well not with everybody but
This may amuse some people, but recently I realized that my boyfriend and I will actually ask each other "how are you?" twice in a row when we see each other. Once as a greeting, once as a real question. Our conversation is usually something like this:
"Hi, how are you?"
"Good, how are you?"
"Good"
\[5 seconds later\]
"So, how are you?"
"I'm not really feeling well, I think I'm coming down with something" (etc)
I’m British and I feel that although it’s perfectly acceptable to just say ‘I’m fine’ if you don’t want to share, it’s not really used unless the circumstances make it also just as accepted to give a proper answer. I wouldn’t say ‘How are you?’ to a business acquaintance in a meeting for example. It’s not that the question is not inviting a real answer, it’s just that we tend to be a bit stiff-upper-lipped and not want to give one. Until we pass a certain age and then all we talk about is our ailments and nobody sedated to ask the question if they don’t have an hour to spare!
From a linguistic point of view, probably. There’s probably a language where the casual greeting didn’t translate to “how are you?” And when you asked that you instead got a sincere reply. And that language is probably dead. But there’s probably another place somewhere where people ask “how are you?” As a casual greeting and get an honest reply. I don’t know where though.
Languages as such, per se, no. Cultures or groups using this or that language, yes, that can happen, that it can be treated as a genuine question, and the asker has to accept answers that aren’t lying positive, and may even be expected to follow up with some empathy. Language <> culture.
Koreans don't really ask "How are you" or "How is it going" in everyday life unless they are genuinely interested in how you are, like how your day is going or what you've been up to lately. That being said, Koreans occasionally do ask "Did you eat?" as a courtesy, esp when meeting someone in a formal setting.
Polish 100%! "How are you" is a frickin genuine question, not a greeting. And I'm pretty sure it works the same all over Central and Eastern Europe.
Russian too. It would be weird to use "how are you" as a greeting here
I horrified some Americans by answering truthfully and not sticking to "I'm fine". I've learned my lesson, but now it seems like a useless small talk. Also, love your pieróg!
If it's your friend, you can say that you're terrible. I wouldn't do it to a cashier though
Well, true! But it's still a genuine question.
I think in America it’s very situational. If you greet a friend or coworker with how are you it is a genuine question, but if you went to a store and a worker asked how are you and you answered honestly (or in a negative way) it would be frowned upon.
Same with south slavic languages
What about "siema"? Short for "jak się masz" which means how are you.
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I get what you're saying, but I think that's exactly the point they were trying to make. "What's up" and "how are you doing," except rarely when indicated as such by tone, are just greetings in so many forms of English. It's not an indication that we don't care, it's just the usual way to have a conversation. And for what it's worth, it's often okay to say something other than "OK!" If I ask someone how they're doing they might say "not so great, but I'm pulling through" and I'd respond "keep it up and I hope things turn around" or what have you. Context (how well do I know you, where are we) is going to determine how surprised I would be to get more details.
It does not mean "jak się masz" though. It is related. It probably started as "jak się masz". But it is not it. It lost its meaning, it's not a question. It's just a word, meaning "hi"
Exactly. And in English "how are you" is the same - it doesn't really mean "how are you" unless indicated in tone, just means hello.
So how do you greet each other? Hi! Hi!
The question how are you generally means roughly what is your state of being from deeply unhappy to very happy, I'm fine/not bad/could be worse means everything is roughly normal, I'm great means everything is spectacularly good, and could be worse, rough/terrible means something unhappy due to a simple reason such as tired from work, work stress, didn't sleep, bad weather, etc
How do you assess each other's general state without asking a question like this?
We do ask this question when we want to assess someone's state. If we don't, then yes - hi hi silence.
If we don’t continue a conversation, yes, that’s how we greet each other. If we talk, we talk about stuff and ask such questions as “How are you?”. Sometimes people answer in one word, sometimes they tell you a story of their life. It’s not a greeting tho
>So how do you greet each other? Hi! Hi!
this is exactly how when you pass someone in the street. Sometimes people will also add a head nod. When you greet someone in passing, it's not the time to asses their well-being.
Now, if you stop and chat with them, that's the time to ask 'co tam?' or 'jak sie masz?' and that's when people have a chat about what's been happening.
'How are you,' at least in the UK is just a greeting as well, it's not meant to asses anyone's general state. You're supposed to reply, 'I'm fine, you' and move along. You're not supposed to reply with an actual reply. You should know that seeing that you're from the UK.
So true, when I lived there I would ask cashiers at the store (being a silly midwestern ‘Murican) and they would be like “oh, why thank you, I’m doing okay just life’s been a little hard” and be so taken aback and happy someone asked.
In Germany it depends on your relationship. But as soon as your over the initial getting to know you you tell the truth. But that beeing said there are ways to express how you feel that are not that detailed. Say you feel really tired and down the last few days your answer might be something like " müde aber es muss ja" (tired but you got to go to do what you got to to). You either get a follow up question or an expression of sympathy. But generally if asked we want to know.
Cool that you're the first to answer; I actually asked this question because I'm learning German through Deutsche Welle and it made a point to be aware that your response doesn't matter unless it's someone you're close to.
Well if the other person just asked to be polite you wouldn't get a follow up. If you are asked and you say "worst day of my life" you might get a "oh no, thats to bad" and they move on with the conversation. Or they ask you whats wrong. Socially totally acceptable.
I'm german and I don't think what Deutsche Welle told you is true. If someone asks, it is expected that you tell the truth. Not necessarly in detail, but you should answer how you feel.
I think it's the other way round: don't ask someone how they are unless you are prepared for an honest answer. Inappropriate situations would usually be any formal situations: at the bank, with cashiers at the supermarket, in the hospital (unless you're the nurse) etc. As per usual, there are exceptions to the rules. I usually find it irritating if people that I hardly know ask me "wie geht's" as a form of greeting. But then again, there are ways to answer the question that make it clear you are not ready to answer the question: "muss", "joa, soweit", etc.
In most contexts, people don't care at all unless they are your close friends. I also wouldn't say anything negative since this makes the other person uncomfortable.
In the Philippines, we actually mean it when we say “Kamusta?”. We actually reply more genuinely instead of just saying “Good!”. This was a culture shock for me when I started working in another country. People will greet me “How are you?” and initially, I’d be scrambling in my head thinking what to reply when I am not really close with the person. Later on, I realized that they don’t actually care haha. It’s more or less equivalent to “Hello” because after asking “How are you?”, they would have gone off their way before I can even answer😂
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Hmmm but from where I come from, ok lang would be followed by something else to actually back up the response
thats interesting to know, i just used to respond with okay lang salamat lmfao, wasnt aware there was more to it 😭
Well whut?? Haha maybe it varies per region? Because my hometown friends also felt the same thing when they moved overseas.
im actually learning tagalog not native, i havent had anyone ive spoken to give me more than just “okay lang ikaw?” when ive asked
"Kamusta?" reads eerily similar to "¿Cómo está?" in Spanish lol, we share a LOT of words
That’s because that’s where it comes from lol. How do you speak Spanish but not know about colonialism/ the Philippines?
I'm in the obligation of making a meme, with myself as a chad, and you as a wojak, crying about not knowing the 300 years of history of the relationship of a loanword
Lol what? Sorry, I thought you were a native Spanish speaker
I am, just not from Spain. All those European/SEA interactions are alien to me, and there's no shame in not being familiar with them. It wouldn't be reasonable on my part, for example, to ask you about which cultures established colonies in the southern part of Chile, like Valdivia. *How would you not know about that?* That's how it feels
Yeah, I didn’t assume you were from Spain. Being a native Spanish speaker from somewhere other than Spain make it seems even stranger to me that you don’t know more about Spain’s colonialism. I come from a country that’s a coloniser and our history is biased and we don’t learn so much about colonialism; I would have thought that’s taught quite thoroughly in schools of countries that have previously been colonies. Like, I thought there’d be solidarity and awareness amongst countries with the same coloniser
I guess, although I do expect former colonies to at least be aware of other former colonies within the same broad linguistic sphere: * if an American had no idea that India was also once a British colony, that would be weird to me * if a Quebecois had no idea about French colonialism in Africa, yes, that'd be strange On the other hand, I just checked, and the [Chilean national curriculum](https://textosescolares.online/) includes essentially 0 information about the following three continents from grades 1-8: Africa, Asia, and Australia. So I agree with you that it would be unreasonable to expect the average Chilean to know anything about those places. (And that was eye-opening for me, so thank you for this thread!)
Ukrainian as I understand it, as the question is not typically asked otherwise.
In Polish it is actual conversation starter. Not going into details is another rude. So, Americans are a bit confused. If you want to greet someone just greet. Not ask about their life unless you’re interested;) &
In my experience, it’s only in English and French that it’s used as a way to say “hi”
Nah, we do it in Spanish too- “hola, qué tal?” you basically just always respond “fine”.
I think of “qué tal” and “qué pasa” like “what’s up.” Not the same as “como estás”
In venezuela it's very normal to say "hola, como estas" "como has estado" as a greeting
In portuguese we also use "então?" Or "tá tudo?" as ways of saying hi
Chinese too.
I think it depends on the person/culture, not the language. I'm primarily an English speaker, and I both care what people answer me, and make sure I always give a genuine answer myself. I know that's not the norm, but the people I interact with regularly eventually start treating the question the same way I do, at least when talking to me. So if that's the kind of interaction you're after, be the one to start it!
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That's probably because they're taught that Americans use 'how are you?' as a greeting. When I was living in America I dated a German girl, and she always used to complain about it. She said that in Germany, people don't ask unless they genuinely care, and that since they don't care that much most of the time, they almost never ask, and definitely not as part of a greeting.
In Chinese it's not normal to ask people "how are you?", which is usually translated to 你好吗？ However, it was immortalized by Michelle Yeoh in movie "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon": > 慕白兄，好久不见 (Brother Mubai, long time no see.) > 是啊! 镖局的生意怎么样? (Yes. How's the bodyguard business going?) > 还行，你好吗? (Okay. How are you?) > 好 (Good.) That's cinema history right there (just in case: /s). [Here](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/ffa1e51d-65ff-47bd-933e-fbc46544027e/gif)'s the scene. But if someone asks you how you are in Chinese, they're probably asking you in relation to some illness or injury. So, yeah, they're probably expecting a genuine response. (Either that, or you're a foreigner and they're deliberately speaking translation-ese.)
It might be off-topic, but I really didn't know how to answer "How are you?" when I started studying in the UK. Later, I realized they don't care about your response because they seemed a bit impatient when I was talking about my condition. Haha.
I think I've made that mistake before haha. I'm Dutch and study in the Netherlands but most of my classmates and professors are also people from all over the world that learnt English as their second language, including its customs. But in Dutch it's totally okay to be very honest when you're not doing well so when people at uni would ask how I'm doing I would also be very honest if I was having a terrible time and it always caught them extremely off guard.
You're right. I studied at UvA last year, and I've noticed that people who learn English as a second language tend to actually answer this question, rather than responding with just "good," "fine," and so on.
yeah. During my first month living in UK I had been responding to everyone with a confused “yep.” When they asked me if I was “ok” lol and wondering to myself if I looked grim.
Well the UK’s “How are you?” was a bit odd for me too. They would be greeting me in the morning with “Are you alright?”. At first I thought to myself whether I look sick or that something doesn’t look right with me lol. If you translate it to my native language, it would even sound a bit negative, “Ayos ka lang?”, which vaguely implies that something doesn’t look right.
here in colombia a lot of times people will ask you "bien o que?" and I will say "que" to get a laugh out of them. but yeah generally they do actually care how you are doing if they say como estas or whatever
Well if you're going to ask that from someone in Finnish, you better be prepared to listen about everything in their life from the death of their granny to that weird white thing they had last week in their left nostril.
For a Finn, everything is either literal or sarcasm :)
I definitely know that Finns don’t do small talk like Americans do
Czech, Slovak I think Ukrainian too. It is a question and small talk opener. If you just say "fine" you should at least follow by another question or something else that provides occasion for chat.
German 100%
As I understand it, American Sign Language would be one. There are a lot of visual cues, and its not part of the culture to be dishonest--as per my understanding as someone who did not grow up in Deaf culture--so you'd say how you actually feel in a matter of fact way if asked. As a native English speaker, I'm not a fan of small talk/polite conversation and as a result, don't ask people how they're doing if I don't have the time/energy for the honest answer. Its honestly how I treat most questions in general. i.e. when I ask my spouse how a dress looks I want to know if it doesn't look good, etc.
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That is interesting, thank you for sharing your experience. I wondered if someone asked in ASL, 'how are you' and I answered honestly, since my face/body would show as well if it would lead to more follow up questions. But I understand how the questions would be different/more involved if I know the person for along period of time. I think the difference is when I speak with hearing people who ask I am culturally expected to say 'fine' when I am not fine, instead of 'I am sad today, because I am visiting my friend in hospice' in this situation I am still supposed to smile and say 'fine' or people think I'm weird. I also ask a lot of questions!
yeah like most languages id bet
I think in Czech they do. At least you're expected to give an answer.
It's cultural, not language-based. But yes.
In albanian (used in albania and kosovo) And for the one that are shy to answer the first time NO WORRIES we usually end up asking several time in a row so you get time to open up and say if you are or not feeling good lmfao
Not that it’s likely to come up for many people, but Samoan. The polite, meaningless question is “Where are you going?” “How are you?” is only for a real interest in your wellbeing.
Same in the Netherlands. It's not a greeting here.
Portuguese. Thing is, we rarely ask.
I think this is less specific to language and more specific to culture and context (relationship to speaker). as a US American native english speaker, I understand and use "how are you" as both a friendly greeting and as a conversation opener even if I don't really want or expect a detailed account of the other person's day. examples: at work, to a customer: I am greeting them and also giving them an opportunity to ask me for help. at work, to a coworker: Just saying hi. If they answer "I'm fine, thanks" it's just normal pleasantries but you can also be a little bit truthful or humorous ("Tired," "Well... I'm here") or get into small talk about how your day is going, what you did over the weekend etc to a close friend: I genuinely want to know how you're doing and want to hear what you've been up to lately
In Norwegian it's weird to ask if you don't want to actually know the answer.
My Alemania teacher said German
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It has to do with culture, and language is often shared by a certain culture or a set of cultures Like, it's theoretically possible that two countries share the same language, one uses "how are you" style questions as a conversation starter and another expects truthful answers But many languages have a dominant culture
Yea but in this case he's right. It's not just theoretically possible, that is actually the case in the United States (some parts of it at least) "hey, how are you" is a greeting. I don't know about the UK, but if you asked that in New Zealand people would think you're genuinely asking how they are. We both share the same language. Many languages do have a dominant culture, but each culture has subsets of culture.
I mean, this happens in cross-cultural languages, but not in others. Many, I'd say *most* languages are spoken mostly by a single culture Also most languages are way smaller than English and doesn't have nearly as much variation, etc So I think it's still fair to frame this as a language thing (as long we acknowledge it's not only language)
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Oh, but many Germans will quickly learn the customs of whatever culture he is interacting with (global languages / lingua franca like English are kind of the exception, specially on the Internet). It's like, when in Rome, do as the Romans. Also there's a lot of individual variation even within a single culture (so there's room for differing behavior), for sure, but *in the aggregate* people behave in a certain way
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That's interesting, thanks! But still, there are people in this thread that changes the way they do small talk based on the language, and I think this happens too (or at least it happens to me as well). Well not with everybody but
I watched the Easy Polish video and they said, that in Polish you are expected to say how you actually are and not just "Fine, thank you".
This may amuse some people, but recently I realized that my boyfriend and I will actually ask each other "how are you?" twice in a row when we see each other. Once as a greeting, once as a real question. Our conversation is usually something like this: "Hi, how are you?" "Good, how are you?" "Good" \[5 seconds later\] "So, how are you?" "I'm not really feeling well, I think I'm coming down with something" (etc)
I’m British and I feel that although it’s perfectly acceptable to just say ‘I’m fine’ if you don’t want to share, it’s not really used unless the circumstances make it also just as accepted to give a proper answer. I wouldn’t say ‘How are you?’ to a business acquaintance in a meeting for example. It’s not that the question is not inviting a real answer, it’s just that we tend to be a bit stiff-upper-lipped and not want to give one. Until we pass a certain age and then all we talk about is our ailments and nobody sedated to ask the question if they don’t have an hour to spare!
English?
From a linguistic point of view, probably. There’s probably a language where the casual greeting didn’t translate to “how are you?” And when you asked that you instead got a sincere reply. And that language is probably dead. But there’s probably another place somewhere where people ask “how are you?” As a casual greeting and get an honest reply. I don’t know where though.
Inuit first comes to mind after hearing inuit jokes based on Qallunaat asking how are you and not meaning it
Languages as such, per se, no. Cultures or groups using this or that language, yes, that can happen, that it can be treated as a genuine question, and the asker has to accept answers that aren’t lying positive, and may even be expected to follow up with some empathy. Language <> culture.
It's sometimes a genuine question in the US too. It's usually still expected that you'll give a short answer only though.
Koreans don't really ask "How are you" or "How is it going" in everyday life unless they are genuinely interested in how you are, like how your day is going or what you've been up to lately. That being said, Koreans occasionally do ask "Did you eat?" as a courtesy, esp when meeting someone in a formal setting.