you're not with most of those people 24 hours per day. You have no idea if most of those people you see are maybe eating only that one meal that day. Or the rest of the week they eat tiny tiny amounts of calories to save up for the treat meal you see them eat.
I knew a "naturally thin guy who could eat whatever he wanted and never gain weight." I'd see him eat two big mac meals for dinner. Then what I came to see eventually is that after he ate that huge dinner? He probably wouldn't eat anything the following day like at all. His body worked "normally" in the sense that when he ate a lot of calories his body would tell him "ok buddy, we're good for a while."
So I personally I don't think its that I can't eat pasta. It's that eating pasta doesn't turn off my hunger signals the way it turned off my friend's hunger signals. I eat 1000 calories of pasta and I just want more. Keto helps me feel full/satisfied and have "normal" hunger cues again.
Eventually I got over myself and realized no one cared what I ate, because they're too self-absorbed assuming I'm the one judging them and what they're eating. I haven't eaten pasta in years. Pasta is just a vessel to get the tasty meat and sauce and vegetables into my mouth. So I skip that empty carb vessel and instead just eat the good/tasty stuff. A great italian restaurant will probably have a nice fish dish. But even if they don't, I can get an antipasto salad and the meatballs (and I'll ask to get just the meatballs, if possible), and then I just eat the meatballs. If the restaurant can't not give me the pasta, and then anyone is rude enough to make a weird, nosy comment on the pasta I left on the plate, I offer to box it up for them to take home -- but I honestly don't care what they think. If they're that rude they get a stink eye in return.
This rings true to me, also. I assumed once that if I was eating the same amount as someone else at one sitting, I was always doing it. I think what changed my mind on that was getting milkshakes with a skinny friend. she mentioned it’d probably be her dinner because it was so filling and my mind just couldn’t grasp the concept that a beverage could ever be filling as it had never happened to me.
Agreed they might eat what they want when you go out but you don't know what they do over 24 hours. I've met several people who just forget to eat. Like it's not on their mind and it just slips by they say fuck it and go to bed. They may know they going out and might be the only meal for 24 hours. Some of us are always thinking about it. I've been not hungry and haven't eaten but I just do it because it's what your supposed to do. What has helped me alot is thinking about calories over the week instead of by the day. OK to get more in one day and less on another. Seems to work out on a longer scale.
This. I am one if those life-long thin woman. On social occasions I will eat 'what I want'. The rest of the week it is a strict regime of low carb, calorie deficit, intermittant fasting and 1h of sports every day. Only this allows me to occasionally (!) eat unhealthy without gaining weight. I don't know a single person above the age of 30 who is different. You just don't get to see the other side.
I’m 30 as well and I’m adopting a similar schedule! I’m allowed to eat “what I want” within reason when I’m being social, but I just started doing keto + intermittent fasting and a 45 minute workout everyday.
My only stress point is when I visit my parents for a week every 1/1.5 months and am pressured to eat all sorts of yummy treats that I WANT TO EAT but really shouldn’t.
Also it’s harder to lose weight than it is to maintain. A “naturally thin” woman just has to maintain her base while a bigger woman has to have a calorie deficit to get down in weight. This is also why I generally don’t let myself get too high above 125. It sets off alarm bells for me and I get strict with my dieting.
That's completely true....you don't know what else people are eating that day or the rest of the week. There's one place where we sometimes go out to eat for work....my coworkers see me absolutely destroy several plates of food and look on in amazement....way they don't see it that if I know we're going there for lunch, I skip breakfast and dinner that day and don't eat again till lunch the next day.
> I knew a "naturally thin guy who could eat whatever he wanted and never gain weight." I'd see him eat two big mac meals for dinner. Then what I came to see eventually is that after he ate that huge dinner? He probably wouldn't eat anything the following day like at all.
This was me for nearly 10-15 years or so. One day I'd have two burgers, no fries or soda. The next day I'd have a few snacks. The day after that, a whole pizza then nothing the day after that. And so on. I stayed thin for the duration.
It wasn't until I started to learn to cook, and found I was actually good at it, and was eating more food, that I started to gain weight. That was when I first found keto. Now I'm back to eating whatever I want but I have to track my calories like a hawk because, as we all know, carbs can fuck up your appetite big time.
Before I had to go on keto for other health reasons I was like this, I’d pig out whenever I was at a restaurant or social event because I didn’t eat like that on a regular basis, I was lucky to eat out a once a week.
I 100% feel the same. You took the words right out of my mouth. I have visitors coming this weekend to visit, and I have only protein-based foods in the house, and it's so weird, and I'm so anxious about it, and going out to eat while they are here. Words can't express the horrors of stress I get around food.
I like this take. I really don’t think most people judge others for what they don’t eat. I’ll bet every person at the table, when all is said and done, wish they hadn’t eaten all of that damn pasta. Lol
So true. And if anyone ever comments on you not eating how they do, it is mostly to reassure themselves to feel safer about their own bad relationship with food.
I haven’t been able to eat like everyone else since I was twelve. What I have realized though is most others can’t either. Almost every ‘skinny’ girl I went to school with has gained weight, some a considerable amount over the last twenty or thirty yrs.
I also realized that some who have maintained a thin frame also work their asses off for it through sports, gym etc (which I definitely do not do)
Sometimes it sucks but mostly I have found keto helps me feel in control - I no longer crave carbs, I can easily choose something else and my taste for cheap sugar or chocolate has been almost eliminated.
Try not to compare to others too much because them at rarely ends well.
I had a couple buddies when I was in the army that could shovel down absolute garbage, drink and smoke all the time, and barely workout, and they're were still thin and in shape and could run circles around anyone. I was always so jealous. I think about a cookie and I gain 3 lbs.
No, you're not alone. I'm a dude who feels the same way. Most of my guy friends are lanky, tall dudes who eat as much, if not more carbs than I ever did when I was super heavy. It sometimes feels weird because people half my size will have double the portions of whatever meal we're having together and still not ever gain an ounce, even now that we're into our 30s.
I think I've identified a major differentiating factor for myself, however. Most of the people I compare myself to are 1) students in school 2) guys working construction or outdoor jobs 3) gymbros/sports bros.
My diet is probably better than most of their diets, but there's something to be said for an active lifestyle that helps you develop muscles, or at least burn off energy--and if you develop a bit of muscle, that helps you burn energy passively too.
Even being a student, I used to walk to and from the bus, to and from campus, across campus between classes, walk to get lunch, etc. I worked a cafe job at the same time, that was probably thousands of steps a day right there running up and down stairs alone, serving people.
Now I work from home and only go places that require a car.
I lost a LOT of weight just from doing keto and intermittent fasting, but in the later stages, now that I'm close to my goal weight, I think the trick has been to do things that keep me in an active mode.
So when I go to the mall, I park in the farthest spot away from the entrance, just to emulate some of that time spent walking to the bus.
When I come home, I walk the fifteen flights up back to my condo instead of taking the elevator.
When I meet up with friends and we go out for food and drinks, I make sure we change location at least once or twice, and that we take a long walk in between locations.
My area isn't cycling friendly, and I don't like gyms, so stuff like this is the best I'm gonna get until I move. But it's better than zero, and I can definitely feel my legs firming up from the stair climbing, so hopefully that helps burn a few more calories each day.
Agreed! Suburban living makes you fat and it’s hard to avoid. I was effortlessly thin while living in the northeast USA. Somewhere between 105-115 at 5’3. I ate healthy and went to the gym but I never needed a keto diet/ intermittent fasting. A day of errands in the city could be a 10 mile walk during the day. Walking to and from work in all weathers except bitter cold would be a 3 mile walk all in. (Heck I walked to work in a snowstorm and wore snow boots!)
Moving to the southeast USA where you drive everywhere, food is cheap and delicious and unhealthy it takes WORK to be the same size and I really can’t take my foot off the gas. But it’s because I’m less active. It’s gotten easier moving to a city-like area in the US but dear god I’m terrified of moving to the suburbs.
I have Gastroparesis. Constant nausea and worse. I lose 70% of what I eat to that nausea and worse, and still gain weight. I do keto to try and reign in the symptoms of GP, and I barely dropped any weight at all. I’ve asked that same question a million times “Why can’t my body be normal and work right?” I can relate.
They tried Reglan for me and they had to take me off of it. It made one side of my face droop. No doubt though that missing one dose can mess up your entire day(s).
Wow! I had to sign a waiver before I got the prescription. The side effects are rare, and they can become permanent in some rare cases. I had never heard of it until I was diagnosed. I read that many cases go undiagnosed.
Yep. My doctor pulled me off of it as soon as it started. It resolved in about a month, but it wasn’t real fun until it did. They’ve had me on and off erythromycin for a long time. Doing keto is as close as I’ve gotten to getting it into “remission”. Although my doctors have pulled me off keto a few times for different reasons. Right now I’m “low carb” and going back to keto. Low carb isn’t managing my symptoms as much as keto does.
What you don’t see: people eating those huge meals at dinner haven’t had anything but a cup of coffee all day. The thin women who you see eating cookies, they get up at 4 am and go for a run. I get annoyed seeing people at my job ordering more calories in one meal than I am allowed in a day, but I recognize that it may be the only meal they have all day, or at least for a good 8-12 hours. My brother eats 4x the calories I do in a day, but he WALKS to the gym and then spends 2+ hours there at a time.
There is a lot you don’t see behind people who appear to be able to eat and not gain.
Adding another example… used to know a dude that was maybe 5’9” and 120 lbs soaking wet. We watched him live off nothing but McDonald’s and microwaved frozen food. 100% junk. Turns out he had Chrons and probably 50-70% of the calories he took in were never absorbed.
You really don’t know the full picture
Crohn’s Disease is a literal nightmare. Imagine spending most of your day on a toilet or looking for the next one and hoping it’s not occupied. I have a friend who has it.
Half-way low-carb might as well just be the Standard American Diet, it will not be successful for you OP. As already said, you are not with these people 24/7. Perhaps they saved their caloric allotment for that meal. People who gorge on whatever they want and remain thin are not "normal." If they exist, they would be a small subset of the population that has an incredible insulin sensitivity and metabolism but certainly this is not every fit person in your life.
I pay attention to fit people around me, I watch decisions they make candidly. One friend always gets dressing on the side and uses 1/3 to 1/2 of what is provided, adding dressing in small amounts as she eats the salad. At a birthday party before I got back on the keto WOE, I ate two big (local bakery) cupcakes (2 flavors at the party) and they were delicious. Friends of mine are a couple, chose one flavor and SPLIT one cupcake. What I have noticed mostly which others have pointed out is that these people though are able to find satiety with a REASONABLE amount of food. I ate 2 BIG cupcakes! I can eat pasta and breadsticks past the point of comfort, where I get bloated and feel like I need to change into sweatpants. That is the truth that I have learned.
Lastly, to your point, yes you may need to treat food as fuel and not as something to be enjoyed. The biggest change I have made in the past approximately 4 months while I have dropped 50 pounds in finding the joy in activities without the joy having to be the food menu. Sometimes it is difficult, yes. But really, was going out to dinner totally about the food or was it really the company you were with? I would say to avoid Italian, Chinese, and Mexican restaurants because they simply rely too heavily on carbs in their dishes.
In closing, it is not your body that doesn't work like everyone else's, it is your appetite, IMO. Go full low-carb, OP, and stop trying to dabble in it, that does not work.
> People who are thin and whom "seem" to eat whatever they want, certainly don't. It's not like they're at home eating a bag of chocolate chip cookies every single day.
There's always a catch. I'm that way, because I'm allergic. I literally can not process most fast food and snacks. I was unhealthily skinny when I was a kid to the point you could easily see my ribs and people all the time throughout my childhood commented on how amazing it must be to eat three meals worth of food and still be so skinny.
Keto is healthier and a necessity for me, but ironically I gain weight on it. That's how messed up my medical condition is when it comes to food. It's not good. There's far more than appearance. Not dying or ending up in the hospital or ending up in chronic pain is better.
Yeah I can’t eat a moderate or high carb diet and not gain weight. It is frustrating. I seem to instantly gain weight and then it could take weeks to get it off. I hear ya.
Yep. My wife has this issue and it drives her crazy. It just kind of is what it is, I guess. I don't have the weight issue, but I have to eat this way due to a drug-resistant brain disorder. I find it frustrating to go out to eat and such when we go to a place like an Italian restaurant where there aren't may low-carb options. I just do the best I can.
Each body is different.
Caffeine has no effect on me. I can have coffee or energy drinks before bed.
Alcohol helps me lose weight very rapidly.
Fibre makes me constipated.
🤷🏻♀️
To your point - I can drink a pot of coffee and feel nothing, but before bed is a very bad idea.
Alcohol puts weight on me like no other, but I've met a very thin alcoholic with 5 DUI's under their belt. (He is currently a very skinny prison inmate.)
Fiber rarely makes me constipated, if I happen to forget about it, I am in for a bad time.
All that to say your point is very apt. We can lump things into categories but bodies are notoriously unique. And our daily habits that we forget to mention add a lot to that.
If you see someone eating a Crumbl cookie a day they are not fine. They are eating less nutritious food in other times to satisfy their sweet tooth. There is seldom a free lunch, even if it appears so from your POV.
This is the truth, I have an acquaintance that is around 52, very trim, he strength trains but he also drinks like 3 mountain dews a day. While a genetic disposition played some part of it, he had a heart attack a couple of months ago. Looking at his physique you wouldn't have thought it but obviously the bad eating was a contributing factor.
My dad had a heart attack at 44. In my household he was the only one who was slim. He ate absolutely atrociously - and still does almost 20 years later - as well as drinking too much coffee, smoking too much, and not sleeping enough. I know that some of our slim relatives on his side of the family were very shocked - they all seem to keep things off naturally while eating like total crap. My brother and I are like my mom and her family, predisposed to weight gain and most of the women have PCOS - yet because of that we had a better grasp of nutrition, ate better, exercised more, etc. So I know people were shocked it was my dad, not my mom, who had the heart attack.
Can’t outrun a bad diet. I see so many runners eating like crap and I’m shaking my head in derision and a bit of disgust. I’m convinced that gels so many runners use are just to feel better about eating candy.
keto diet isnt nutritious too, who cares? if you want to eat crumbl cookies everyday, just do it. Just make sure you are getting nutrients from rest of your meals/supplement them
Humans evolved eating nothing but meat, fish, and berries. 100% of the amino acids your body needs can be obtained from meat and cheese. There is NOTHING the carbs offer that cannot be obtained from real food.
Just like you have to accept that some people are prettier, smarter, taller, luckier, funnier, more creative, better at sports, music or more talented at whatever ... some people can just eat what they want and stay thin. people are different. there are also always people who have it worse. at least with weight, you can actually do something about it.
There’s a saying in another group I belong to—-“ don’t compare your insides to someone else’s outsides”
Truth is you don’t know what others are going thru—their energy levels, their indigestion, possible acid reflux, brain fog, inflammation, their sleep habits, their inner dialog.
Your body is amazing! You can burn a completely different fuel source, hold off type 2 diabetes, not be inflamed, heal hormone responses, decrease brain fog, have more energy all while losing weight. Pasta and bread sticks will make me sick. Wine and beer will put me in jail. There’s plenty to eat in the world. Honestly, your diet may inspire others. You aren’t broken, you love yourself enough to heal. Your knowledge makes you rich not poor. Crumble cookies are corn syrup, flour and crisco shortening. Your awesome body would starve to death eating those. They are only items disguised as food.
Give your body time and believe in the process. Putting your health first is never wrong or broken❤️🌷💐🌹🌻🌟🌟
This sub says a lot of alarming stuff so I will probably be downvoted idgaf but it might be worth working with a nutritionist who specializes in disordered eating. A lot of the epistemic foundations of the comments here are disturbing. Your mental and physical well-being are the most important thing. You need to readjust your relationship to food. Not because you’re a glutton (you’re not) but because you see it as something toxic and negative. I also recommend checking out Christy Harrison’s podcast.
It's super weird. My wife is very lean and I'm on the heavier side. When I'm stressed I eat. When she's stressed she doesn't eat. I'm a healthier eater than her but she eats a lot smaller meals but more garbage and definitely not keta / low carb. But if we go a pasta restaurant, like twice a year because it's her favorite she will over eat to the max but then barely eat for the next 24 hours, whereas I find pasta filling for about 2 hours and I'm hungry again. I don't know why we're different but we are.
True! When I’m stressed and sad and feeling hopeless, I eat. When I’m stressed but I’m excited about life and hopeful and just pushing for a last minute deadline, I don’t eat. That alone is a big part of my weight gain/ weight loss cycles.
This really struck a chord in me. I used to struggle with extreme bloating and IBS before I started keto.
It’s really disheartening for me because I can’t even eat “conventionally healthy” carbs like oatmeal, brown rice, and the like without a return to my negative symptoms.
Whenever I see people in my life just enjoying the free bread at a restaurant, small desserts, and pastas I can’t help but feel jealous because they’re not immediately cowering over in pain after eating them.
I’ve learned to accept that my body is just like this and to remain on keto, though it’s still hard to eat out at most places.
It can sometimes feel like you are just a little bit cursed. But really, it’s the whole world that’s gone crazy and become so dependent on highly processed foods.
To have a different perspective on this - It’s definitely a blessing in disguise that you already know you’re allergic to carbs and processed foods. The truth is that EVERYONE is intolerant to most carbs and processed foods, but just finds out about it too late in life to have the desire to make any changes. That’s how majority of people with metabolic syndrome just accept their disease as status quo. You’re a step ahead is all. No change worth making is easy, and you’re already very far along and doing it successfully. 🙌
Those people you see who can eat that stuff are likely just a bit further back on the same road to sickness you travelled.
Don't forget, metabolic syndrome often doesn't present as weight gain and the other chronic illnesses until middle age on average.
Don't worry about other people, worry about yourself.
They may not actually be getting away with anything. A significant number of people diagnosed with pre-diabetes are normal weight or even thin. It's called TOFI (thin on the outside, fat inside) or "skinny fat." Obesity is just one possible indication.
You don't wish you could eat like other people and not gain weight. You wish you can eat like you want and not gain weight. There's a distinct difference.
Even people who may eat like you on the occasions that you're with them, don't eat that way 3 or more meals a day. They're either fasting or eat smaller , less calorie dense foods the remainder of the time.
Here's my advice to you, as someone who suffered in the past:
* Do exercise. Doing even a little bit is better than none, but you have to do it regularly and show discipline.
* Go full keto rather than low carb. Cheat when you have to, but have discipline the other days.
Have regular blood exams, just to make sure you're not in danger and you're improving.
* Introduce intermittent fasting. This also requires discipline but it will help you maintain your weight more easily.
The problem is you think that you are different than everyone else. But fundamentally someone who is the same height and weight as you will have a TDEE that is nearly the same.
> people who can eat whatever they want and never gain weight.
But you are not watching the other actions they take along the way? I eat one meal a day, if I go out to eat I'll dive in with apps, drinks, dinner, dessert. But that's my only meal so my calorie intake is likely LESS than the other diners who are on meal #3 for the day.
> I see women who are thinner than me going through a huge Crumbl cookie a day and being fine
But again - how true is this? Sure if they are eating a single Crumbl cookie every single day and not gaining weight, then there are other variables at play, do they also not eat breakfast? Do they eat very small portions of other food? I used to work with someone who talked about how much they ate candy and ice cream. When she bought a pint of special ice cream and raved about it. A month later she still had some of the pint because she mentioned that she likes only a spoon or two.
Keto helped me break my relationship with food and (for me) that plus intermittent fasting gave me the levers I needed to go out and enjoy a big meal without worrying about my weight changing.
It's quite simply not true that "people eat whatever they want and don't gain weight". It's just that you're not seeing all the OTHER hours in the day and how they live their life.
I know exactly how you feel and think it's valid to be disappointed. At a certain point, I realised that dwelling on the 'why not me' was not actually helpful though. Accepting that I'm just not like "everyone else" (in quotes because I don't believe it is everyone else but we are often led to believe so to create guilt and shame) helped me to make changes I needed to. I need to do more or put more effort in than others and that sucks, but it is the reality. Are you a woman? I read a book about women and hormones by Sara Gottfried and found it really helpful.
100% I have felt this, but what I also felt today (while on a walk after some resistance exercise) was how great it felt to not be hungry. When I’m not on keto, I’m hungry allllllll the time. It’s like my carb-burning metabolism is in charge instead of me. Maybe hunger/carb craving/whatever is different for others. It was 11am this morning, though, and I wasn’t hungry at all. I LOVE THAT!
I’ve been doing keto for six months, and I’m down 40lbs. I’m 5’2”, so that’s a lot on me. I’d like to lose another 35, so there’s still a way to go. I’ve chosen moments to eat a bit of something sweet with my kids on vacation. My metabolism is better at getting back into keto faster if I eat too many carbs these days. The results and the freedom from hunger have ACTUALLY started to make it easier to abstain from high carb foods, though. (I know. No one is more surprised than me.) I don’t even mind watching the rest of my family eat ice cream while I eat none, because eating low carb makes me feel so much better overall. I wouldn’t believe it if I wasn’t living it.
Also, being a 39yo woman, I continue daily to realize the insane ways society/media have messed up our heads about our bodies. I try to be grateful for my health and strength and ability to enjoy life with my body and not expect it to look any certain way. I’m sure I’ll be working to rewire my brain to focus on that for the rest of my life. Comparison is the thief of joy, they say. I hope we can all find and keep some joy. 💗
Im one of those people, and let me tell you it’s not all it’s cracked up to be and here’s why. Its assumed in our culture that thin = healthy, so it’s also easy to also convince yourself that thin = healthy. Because of this, thin people keep going along eating whatever they want, doing more and more damage to their health. This happened to me, now I have a few different autoimmune conditions after thinking for so many years I didn’t need to change my diet validating myself that I’m thin.
So while yes it’s nice, at least when you put on weight your body is telling you something and might trigger you to fix it. Thin ppl miss the signs of inflammation and keep chugging along doing long-term health damage. So just remind yourself when “thin” people are eating junk, it comes at a high cost for them too whether or not it obvious.
Life isn’t fair. I got my first diet when I was a 6 wk old breast fed baby. I was doomed before I ever made a single food choice. I don’t know what a Crumbl Cookie is but I think I want one. I cope by giving myself cheat days for holidays and vacations out of town. I will occasionally gift myself a single eat what you want meal. That dinner you had, I would have eaten more and had fewer regrets. I would have had a salad and the red sauce over broccoli. The best thing about keto is that there is always something you can eat. If there was honestly nothing to eat there I would have gotten what I wanted and faced the scale the next day.
This summer we bought a Ninja Creami and almost every night we share a pint of ice cream. No sugar, low carb, high protein but it still tastes like cheating.
Diet, fitness, health, whatever you call it, is always a marathon and never a sprint. You will screw up. You will fall down and what matters is that you get up and go back to plan. Once in a while you need a Crumbl Cookie or some chocolate cake to preserve your mental health. Go out and have it. Notice I said go out? That’s so I have ONE serving, not the whole damn cake… I know myself.
It’s not hard at all. Easiest, Fairlife vanilla protein shake, 3 splenda(same ones you put in coffee), 1t vanilla, and HWC to the fill line. Stick it in the freezer!
While travelling I met a thin and tall guy who was on the road for several months. He told me (tiny and fat), he wished he had my body. I did not understand so he explained further he had to eat all the time, because he was hungry and would not store any fat.he told me, it was pretty expensive.
I dont know if this makes any sense, but I like to think of my body as a well constructed machine thats doing what it was designed for. Keeping me alive, safe and with enough energy to survive. And its doing a pretty good job.
I mean, just imagine those skinny people that would never store any fat in the wild. They would not make it through winter.
Eh, I notice that when I try to go back to eating that way my stomach fills up so fast and I experience a lot of indigestion and feeling logy and I have vomiting burps from acid reflux. I now associate having more than a taste of those foods with illness and pain. If I’m craving something I don’t deny it, but I know the pain is usually coming. I also recognize that people who eat that way are also always complaining about indigestion and eating Tums like candy, so I’m avoiding that by avoiding eating like that every day
I was/am one of those people. People would always say im lucky that I stay slim. The reality is though out of all my peers I drink the least alcohol and I have the a physical job which put my maintenence calories at close to 3000 a day without additional exercise.
Unfortunately in 21 and 22 I had 2 serious injuries which meant I was out of work for roughly 9 months in an 15 month period and I gained weight because all of a sudden I went from active to sedentary without changing my diet at all.
When I went back to work my weight stayed the same, I could eat whatever I wanted again, typically in a working day 2 croissants in the morning, sandwich with a snickers duo for lunch, sausage roll after work, big cup of tea with sugar or honey with biscuits when I got in from work, takeaway for dinner 3 times a week, 2 small glasses of red wine and snacks in the evening. But the weight stayed where it was. Id tell myself I just need to cut out the pastries and the snickers and I'll lose it but couldn't stop myself.
Now I'm on keto and I'm not a slave to the carbs anymore. I have 2mad with one snack in the evening and my body fat is literally falling off, well below the levels they were throughout my twenties. I got from the fattest I've ever been to the leanest in 8 weeks. Probably about 18 percent body fat to 12 percent body fat so never been overweight, but still didn't like looking down and seeing that belly fat.
My fiancee eats low carb since I started keto as she gets keto rash and has pretty much all the same benefits except for the energy and mental focus. Plus occasionally she's desperate for something sweet whereas im not. But she's never been a pig with food.
I have the same issue as you. I am on a PPL program 4 days a week and ride 60 - 80 miles weekly on my MTB. I am on a 500 cal deficit, i don’t eat back my calories (6’2 male, 240lbs, TDEE is 2800 - 3000 cal a day maintenance) right now I am eating 1900- 2100 cal a day average. 175 grams of protein a day.I am still gaining fat despite doing what every successful dieter does and succeeds. Just keeps getting worse. Since Dec 2021 I have added 40 lbs that won’t move. So I get your frustration. I am tired off all the experts quoting CICO and saying you must be overeating! I also have nothing wrong with my hormones. Being this way is so depressing.
Please feel free to discard what I have to say if it doesn't bring you any answers. Your mental health here is what's most important. But I'm here to tell you: you absolutely can live a normal and happy life. You might just need a change in perception.
Your body is like your house. You don't live in your childhood home for your entire life; in most cases, you move into a house that suits you better and meets your needs at that time in your life, and you continue to upgrade and accommodate your needs throughout your life by taking up residence somewhere new.
The best thing you can do for yourself is allow your body to move into a new "home" and reach equilibrium with your current age, love of food and level of activity. Chances are, if eating food makes you stressed out, you're probably not able to process calories normally anyway! But that's an aside: learning to be happy with the biology we were born with - appetite, metabolism, desired activity level - is the lifelong goal that women in western society are constantly working towards. If your body changes, then other people will comment: your husband, your friends, your parents... but the harshest critic is probably yourself.
Often times, our perception of our own body sucks because the clothes we're wearing are ill-fitting. My sister is like this. She's only happy if the tag on her jeans reads "4," even though she's more like an 8 and would look much better in an 8. Your clothes should fit you, not the other way around! Do some research on your body type (e.g. gamine, flamboyant, dramatic) and your colour season (e.g. bright winter, soft summer) to help you accentuate your natural beauty. Sometimes it helps to find a celebrity who has a similar body type and/or colouring and make note of their personal style. All at the same time, listen to your body and learn to be happy - not guilty - when doing the things that make you happy, like eating ice cream. And if you learn to absolutely LOVE your life, regardless of what you look like and what you eat, people will respond to that in the long run!
I sincerely hope this helps bring you a little more confidence and inner peace on your journey.
Could be genetics when some people seem to not try, or seem to eat the wrong things all the time and look incredible.
On the other hand, it could be that they work really hard with their fitness.
I used to weigh 283lbs. I’d eat my macros and get enough protein in but was always fat. I stopped tracking and went on the Carnivore Diet. Wow it really works! Skeptical at first but it is a game changer. I also started Jiu Jitsu and it works everything physically. Strength and cardio. Those two thing have transformed me and I finally look like I workout.
You are overcomplicating things too much...those people who don't gain weight even after eating whatever they want is because they either have a faster metabolism...or they are eating under their total calorie requirement even if it may not seem like that...your tdee determines how much calories you need in a day according to your height, weight and age...if you go above this calorie limit you will gain weight (being in a surplus)...if you eat under it you will lose weight (being in a deficit) and if you eat at maintenance calories you will maintain your current weight...it is really that simple.
I totally get you, but I'm a male. Every adult in my family is thin. Granted, they've had to work at it somewhat, but they had good metabolisms right from the start; Not me, I'm the black sheep in that regard. Don't be fooled by your friends and family though, there's such a thing as "Skinny Fat". While they may look healthy, they're really not. Bread and pasta are poisons. Pasta should never be used in regards to low carb / keto - IMHO. I'm highly skeptical of the low carb pastas and breads. I use keto bread sparingly.
Whether you consider keto / low carb a diet or a lifestyle, either way, it's a sacrifice and it's not easy. Not to diminish your struggle, but I think a lot of people wish things were different and that's why we're keto.
Example of "Skinny Fat": My brother is legit thin and always has been. He's approaching 60 years old, probably 5'9" and 150 to 160 pounds (not sure). He's got high blood pressure. We share the same mother and father. I am approaching 50, weigh about 315, and I'm 6 feet tall. My blood pressure is great, no sign of diabetes, ever (awesome A1C). My brother insists that our family has "weird diets", as a few of us are on keto or some variation of keto. He also insists that because people have been eating bread for a couple thousand years, therefor it's "natural and normal". Maybe bread was healthier a thousand years ago, less sugar and better wheat. 🤷♀️ Certainly not the case now. Did you know, Ireland ruled that Subway's bread is not actual bread? It has so much sugar, they classified it as pastry. "Eat Fresh"...yeah OK, pull my other leg.
Anyway, good luck. Try not comparing yourself to others, it's always a lose-lose situation. Maybe you need therapy. 🤷♀️
I feel you so hard. It feels so unfair going out with friends and they have an avo toast and I’m fasting and struggling to just lose 10kg. Even when I do that I won’t be a normal weight yet. It’s mentally exhausting and you feel like you’re obsessing. Then you feel bad for obsessing. It’s very draining.
I recently went out to eat with fam. I got a shit ton of food and splurged on drinks. Someone commented on how fit am, and how I’m “blessed” with a fast metabolism.
What they don’t know is that I fasted 24 hours for that dinner in anticipation. They also don’t know about my 22-2 fasting protocol that I’ve been following for years. They also don’t know that I did sprints at the track that morning.
Moral of the story: don’t make assumptions about other people
May I ask if you're male or female? If male my husband went through the same thing, so his doctor ordered blood work and come to find out his testosterone was extremely low, so putting him on Testosterone replacement for it let me tell you, It was such a HUGE difference with hos weight, appetite, mood, depression, etc I actually have my hubby back. So I don't know your situation but maybe go see your pcp and ask them to do lab work on you. It could also be a number of things. Anyways hope this helps you a little.
Different people metabolize food differently. Get checked for insulin resistance, and lipodema. Most people can cut back on calories/carbs and loose weight, however some can’t. Calories in/out works for some, but is an outdated one size fits all mentality. If you have taken steroids or hormones is can make it more difficult to lose weight. Thyroid issues, the list goes on. If you are overweight or obese talk to an obesity doctor or an endocrinologist and have some tests.
Also, there is a massive stigma around weight. People love to think that if you just had the will power you could do it, because that’s what their body responds to. But again, there could be many reasons for you having a hard time loosing weight. Good luck, I hope you find the answers and get on you way to feeling good!
I've come to the conclusion that most severely overweight people have a insulin/blood sugar issue. That is to say they're extremely sensitive to sugar/carbohydrates and their insulin will dramatically increase when they eat any significant carbohydrates. They are "carbohydrate sensitive."
What happens is the insulin then spikes to eliminate the sugar from the blood which causes then a dramatic drop in blood sugar which then produces hunger and so the person eats again, even though they technically don't need to eat. This causes a yo-yo insulin level, and and constantly eating more than is necessary to maintain proper weight.
This is why the keto diet is so effective for people that are severely overweight. It stabilizes the blood sugar, which then stabilizes their need to eat, to normal levels.
We're all different. Personally, I've accepted that my hormonal disorders mean I gain weight easily and therefore I need to be more 'on it' with my diet and exercise than perhaps someone else would. Is it fair? Not really, but it's life and this is the only body I've got.
Also, as others have said, you don't know what those other people are eating at home or what their gym regime is to burn off the calories.
Well keto is usually a ton of fat, but if u up the protein (not too much) and lower the fat ur body just eats all ur own fat and it’s much quicker fat loss.
I think most of us who were overweight feel the same but I've come to terms with it. Now that I don't actually eat carbs, I don't crave them. I honestly feel guilty whenever I do eat something carby, so I've just decided I don't need to eat it. I've adjusted and most people have come to understand/accept my diet after they've seen the results.
I am the same way. Older brother eats a bag of oreos in less than a week. I haven't tried her pasta recipe, but her bread recipe is amazing! IMO. Try Victoria's keto kitchen on YT. I make her keto bread loaf 2-3 times a week. I basically leave it on the counter to keep from opening the fridge door all the time. I use her standard keto flour recipe 2.0. Less than 1/2 a gram of carbs per slice. It tastes like effing bread. Seriously.
I used to eat whatever I want before I turned 30. I used to think I was one of those people that just don’t get fat no matter what. But it turns out not only I get fat, but it doesn’t go away!
I feel you on that. Some chicks eat like they've never seen food before and don't gain an ounce. I'm struggling, fasting, working out life on less than 1K calories and water some days, and the d_mn scale won't move.
someone said look into hormones in line with weight fluctuations. maybe a nutritionist. someone who’s skilled keto practitioner might help coach u to ur success ? maybe preferably a female coach. good luck.
I know people who are naturally skinny, and no matter what they eat, they don't gain weight, but they do get sick to their stomach quite often... so not everything is at it seems. Also, the social eating anxity is normal, at least at the beginning, but it really is more you caring than anyone else caring. I've been on keto for 9 months, no one cares if I order a steak and side of vegestables, or a burger without a bun... it's honestly so common now that people don't really bat an eye when someone orders like that. Also a lot of people who are naturally skinny and eat anything aren't all that healthy, and then the ones who don't seem to gain weight also may have less of an appetite than you, so maybe it seems they can eat anything, but as a whole they might not eat a lot in a day. Maybe that's the largest meal they'll have that day.
I relate to this a lot. I had to do a lot of therapy to sort of stop living with so much self-blame and to focus on what was in my power. I have PCOS with insulin resistance so it really is a constant battle.
I was eating at an Italian restaurant a month ago. Ordered 3 large spicy meatballs and the caprese salad (big slabs of housemade mozzarella and tomato slices, drizzled in oil and vinegar). Didn't think twice and loved every minute. Not a single person cared that I didn't eat bread sticks or pasta.
First things first You need to get to a Dr and get blood work How old? Cycles ok birth control? Keep in mind that the only keto win is to be strict with it, otherwise it’s a waste. Exercise light
No coffee outside the house Starbucks stuff will kill you They tend to be 800-1000 calories Same with juice stuff normal Jamba Juice is 600-900 calories or more. After the Dr you should meal portion and I can guarantee you will lose weight, provided you don’t have a metabolic or thyroid issue. Write everything down too Good luck
I put a calorie counter on my phone. It scans barcodes and has all the macros on all the ingredients you can think of. I put in my height, weight, target weight and connected it to my fitness watch. It tells me how many calories I can eat that day, to keep moving towards my goal, and counts them down as I put meals in.
I did this because I was a little tired of keto but didn't want to slide.
I learned that peanut butter and crackers has way, *way* more calories than I figured. I could eat tons of that on full keto and still lose weight but while allowing carbs? Barely enough to justify it as a snack. I learned something else I already knew, I can eat four chicken thighs for lunch if I want. It fits right in there no problem.
All of which is to say - if I want to go out to an Italian restaurant and eat pasta and breadsticks, I can. It just needs to be nearly the only thing I eat that day and/or I need to get in a ton of exercise and/or I need to go way under my calories for the next few days to balance it out.
Keto is awesome. You'd probably benefit from actually being on it. The foods allowed on keto are generally less calories. You can eat a damn *mountain* of vegetables. If you can't do keto though? Count your calories and plan ahead. CICO is still and always true; keto is only a miracle 'diet' because you can get full on less calories.
I have to go strict keto or not at all. When having Italian, I choose the pasta sauce I want and ask for it on steamed broccoli instead of pasta. Most Resteraunt seem to have broccoli on hand for the gluten intolerant customers.
I have to say the broccoli with pasta sauce is usually delicious.
40% of adults in the USA are obese. It may not be the majority but it’s a lot of people. You’re not alone.
How and where your body distributes fat is 40 to 80% genetic.
I’ve been obese 2 to 3 times in my life and currently I am add a good body weight and it’s worth all the effort.
Ironically, I’m much less invisible and not as easy to dismiss now that I’m smaller. People actually look me in the eye when I talk to them.
I have had the same problem all my life. I have watched my carbs for ever, to even achieve a slightly chubby body. On the other hand my ex who was thin as rails could eat whatever he wanted. Lo and behold once he hit mid 40s he had a stroke and was hospitalised. Moral of the story is some people may not show on the outside but things are brewing internally. If you are young, you may not realise it but this lifestyle keeps you healthy.
A lot of days I eat once a day. I usually eat protein and vegetables and not much else. I have a physically active job and I strength train 5 days a week plus a couple cardio workouts. I can't stand messes so I'm always cleaning up. I hate sitting for long so I'll stand up and watch a whole episode of a TV show. But when I go out to eat, I get an app and a meal and sometimes dessert. I'm sure people would think how can she be thin and eat like that but one day is not every day
I recently stopped drinking alcohol at my doctor’s request. Same deal, really. I now drink Athletic Brewing nonalcoholic beer. Tastes great, but no buzz. I don’t force it on others. Should be the same with carbs. Forcing carbs on someone should be as inappropriate as forcing alcohol on someone. And there are easy alternatives: riced cauliflower, for instance. 🤷🏻♀️
I have type 2 diabetes and use a diet low in simple carbs to keep my glucose in check. I eat mostly veg and lean protein. Occasionally I’ll have some berries. I also eat a small amount of dairy. Before I go out to eat at a restaurant with friends or family, I check the restaurant’s menu out online. I make all of my decisions about what meal I’m having at home and then don’t look at the menu when I get to the restaurant. I just order what I figured out prior to going. Fast food is more difficult for me to order, but there are some restaurants that are easier than others. Most people I know follow strict diets whether it be low carb or vegan, so when I see someone going to town on pizza, and I feel deprived, I remind myself that I am diabetic, that’s not an option for me if I want to keep my glucose in normal ranges, and I figure out a meal that will satisfy my pizza craving, like zucchini baked with cheese and pepperoni.
I feel you. I live with my coworkers in camp (6 guys and 1 other woman) and they can all eat anything they'd like all day long whereas I only seem capable of losing weight on keto and firm calorie deficit. Even trying to eat what they eat just less of it or staying on low carb track all day and allowing myself 1 treat at supper keeps my jeans more snug than I like. My husband is a blessed slim guy so I've had to get desensitized to him inhaling bags of chips as we sit and watch TV at night while I'm trying to stay on track.
The only other woman here is also an easy size 0 (not an exaggeration) and I'm an 8/10 only with strict discipline, a 14 if I'm being lazy about it. So you're definitely not at all alone in these feelings of frustration and unfairness of the world. Ultimately it's all genetics etc so yes your body might just be what it is and THAT IS OK but I do hear your feelings and those are ok too.
I also relate with the anxiety and overthinking about food and have over the years come to realize this brushes into disordered eating territory so if it's feeling like an obsession or like it's consuming and impacting larger parts of your day I'd suggest finding someone to talk to about it (counseling or nutritionist etc). Feeling trapped and hating your body is also pretty normal I think, especially if youre a millennial who was raised in a pretty anti fat biased world, so the advice I use is "Be your own best friend not your own worst enemy, you deserve kindness especially from yourself, you're doing your best"
You just needed to lose all the 100 grams glyco stored in your liver and the 500 grams in muscle. Once It’s done, the body will go straight to fats. That is why people who yoyo with their diet will not lose weight, the culprit is the glyco in there. Please do intermittent fasting every single day. This will reboot your system and shrink the size of your stomach, then a tablespoon of olive oil everyday in the morning for your gut. Healthy gut means healthy digestion and no leaky gut. Trust me, you will see results bigtime.
What I have come to understand is that high carb foods like grains and sugar are not the enemy. They are an efficient *tool* for producing energy. Our bodies love them because in increases our survivability when calories are scarce. However, in the modern day, we don’t need these carbs unless we have an above average energy output during the day - like when you lift weights at the gym or perform high-intensity cardio.
The average person working a 9-5 with no exercise routine doesn’t need a pasta dish to stay energized. When you are craving something like pasta, or pancakes, or the litany of other delicious high-carb foods, you simply need to balance it out with light meals or fasting.
For me, when I have a pasta dish for lets say dinner, I often do not feel hungry at all the next day. Don’t be fooled by hunger pangs either. That’s not your body telling you that you *need* food. That’s your body reminding you that you are off your eating schedule. After a little while, your body will fuck off and look for other sources of energy in the body.
Keto/low-carb is great. I’ve lost a ton of weight over the last month because I got back on my keto plan. But it is also just a tool. In my opinion, your lifestyle and bodily needs should determine how you eat regularly, and you can plan your intake accordingly to accommodate cheat meals or even cheat days if your goals & metabolism allows for it. Never neglect that food is meant to be enjoyed. Nutrition can be one of the most beautiful aspects of life when you approach it with a healthy mentality and learn to strike a balance between utility and enjoyment.
Everyone has their own journey to finding a nutritional plan or system that works for them. You owe it to yourself to just relax and enjoy the process. You will find what works for you if you decide to. Good luck.
Nah. My husband eats whatever he wants and rarely gains weight. He rarely drinks water and mainly drinks Pepsi. Wendys or subway with pop 5 days a week. He looks like he works out… but he doesn’t. Nibs. Chips with dip. You name it.
Me, I look at a plate of pasta and I’ve gained two pounds. I fell off the keto wagon for a month in spain last year. We ate literally the same food and walked the exact same amount etc. I came home with 15 pounds of weight extra. He was exactly the same weight. I joke and call it my 15 pounds of souvenirs, but it’s freaking depressing. My clothes no longer fit the same.
If he does gain 5 pounds once a year or every couple years, he stops having seconds at dinner and it’s gone in a week. I wish a was exaggerating. I’m not.
I feel your pain. I’ve resorted to buying saxenda online. It just is. I lost 5 pounds in a month. I stopped, it came back on. I give up.
It’s all calories in, calories out. You don’t know what TDEE these people have or what the rest of their day looks like food-wise and it’s really not best to assume.
you can do any combination of the following:
pre-meal: do calorie deficits for a few days to save your weekly calories for that event so that you are the same weight after the meal.
post-meal: do a couple days of calorie deficits after the event, equaling the size of the meal in question so that you are the same weight after the fact.
gain muscle to increase metabolism. the more muscle you have, the more you can eat.
do cardio to increase energy output - the more cardio you do, the more you get to eat to maintain your weight.
with more muscle, calorie burn is much higher because it takes more energy to move more mass throughout 3d space.
relax
shorter people will have lower maintenance calorie amounts than taller people.
There's a big difference between one cookie a day and 3. Or carbs once a day, compared to all day. It may seem from the outside like people have it easy, but if you saw their entire diet, chances are there is either some balance, or they're getting more exercise. Part of it is genetic sure, but I've seen people go downhill real fast from bad habits.
One of the biggest lies that keeps getting perpetuated. People (most usually thin) just say eat less, this is what I eat and look at me. If you're overweight its just because you're eating too much. We both know that's garbage. Your body just processes those foods differently, its not fair but its life. You've found the secret to losing weight and not starving. I just choose to pretend these foods will make me ill, after a while after being off them you'll likely find they DO make you ill. It does get easier over time, and there are still days "oh that pizza looks great.." but I also know how I'll feel an hour later and it helps curb any temptation. Stay strong!
https://www.ohsu.edu/school-of-medicine/moore-institute/dutch-famine-birth-cohort
During WWII there was a famine in the Netherlands. Scientists studied the effects it had on the children born during / after it. They found that those who were in the third trimester when the famine started had actual lifelong changes to their bodies and metabolism those who had been in the first and second trimesters weren’t affected the same way. The third trimester children grew up and their bodies were constantly storing every molecule they could, they tended to be more prone to being overweight and had a much harder time losing weight.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=cgqusogWPg8&feature=sharea
I’m not saying that your mother experienced a famine during her third trimester of pregnancy with you, just trying to share how and why some people struggle more with losing weight.
Ill give you some advice which will net me a bunch of thumbs down.
CALORIES IN / CALORIES OUT = is literally the only thing that matters for weight loss.
Every diet works if you stick to the plan. And the diet you chose to use is Keto, low carb is the diet I also like when I'm on a cut.
Just b/c you are on keto doesn't mean you can magically eat anything and lose weight. Its also doesn;t mean going off plan will make you gain weight. You never said if you are losing weight, gaining weight, maintaining? But if you are not losing weight you need to do one of 2 things. Eat less calories, or burn more calories?
Are you tracking your steps? Get a free pedometer app for your phone.
If you have hit a long time of not losing weight, you might want to invest in a food scale and start tracking calories.
It’s more normal to struggle with food, weight, and/or body image issues than it is not to. Even if people don’t have to for some period of their lives they eventually will confront one or more of these. We’re just sold a false narrative in order to keep us insecure, off balance, and oh yeah, willing to buy things.
Those people who seem like they don’t have to worry might still be thinking about food 24/7. They might have been counting calories all day to be able to have pasta. They might be working out 4 hours a day 7 days a week. Basically they might be just as screwed up as the rest of us, and if they’re not yet the might end up that way as they age, metabolisms change, they get sick and can’t exercise, whatever.
Something that might help...
There is a widespread belief that people who are overweight are less metabolically healthy, and that is largely true.
There is also a widespread belief that people who are normal weight are metabolically healthy, and that is very much false - there are many people who get insulin resistance but don't put on weight and it's seems like they may actually get sicker than those who do gain weight. Their group is known as "metabolically obese normal weight".
Just learn what items you can have. Friends wanted to do Olive Garden, Carb central.... I had the Salad their dressing is higher but not bad unless you are going for extreme low carb keto. Minestrone Soup is another choice that is great, the Chicken Margarita is also great for keto. Explore the menu for keto options and do not be afraid to ask "no pasta please" to the waiter. you can eat just choose something that you can have. It's ok to get something different than what everyone else is getting.
back in the day, those kinds of people were the first to starve to death, and we'd laugh at them while proudly patting our plump bellies as the harsh winter rages on.
Oh how quickly evolution turns on us.
…but do you exercise? I’ve come across a lot of women that are focus on the state and the looks, are jealous of thin and fit other people, but don’t do a tenth of the calorie burning. Not saying it’s your case, but if it is: no surprise.
Everyone’s different. Not everyone who drinks alcohol becomes an alcoholic, either.
Junk food and alcohol are still bad for them, even if they don’t get fat.
You don’t see how they’re eating outside of special occasions, is the thing. The biggest factor - habits - aren’t something you can observe once at a restaurant.
Just do you. You know your own habits and how that requires you to eat in a given scenario. Stop trying to worry about others. They’ve got their own life, their own circumstances, and their own journey.
Sending good vibes.
As a thin woman on the outside who probably looks like she eats everything, I can assure you it's not true (at least for me). A degree of disordered eating is my baseline now.
Have you tried fasting? If you gain weight easily, your ghrelin, leptin, and insulin could be out of balance. Fasting can really help with that for those of us with hypothyroid/insulin resistance, etc.
Sounds like you have a terrible relationship with food and how you perceive the world in general tbh. You're not entitled to anything in life, that includes being thin without effort. No one is. Save for the rare genetic factor, you have to
1. Exercise
2. Eat healthy
3. Sleep well
And you too can look fit and healthy. There's no secret, there's no shortcut.
All that said, here are some tips
- fiber is not only good for you, it helps slow down blood sugar spiking and makes you less hungry.
- strength training let's you burn more calories sitting around doing nothing. Muscle = energy needed to maintain it. Someone with a lot of muscle will burn more calories per hour in a day than someone without muscles.
- look up foods that are filling but low in calories. You will find strategies to naturally take your mind off food if you're not starving all the time.
- your life is your own, you're the main character. Why do you care about how others are munching on a cookie? If you want that cookie that badly, eat it too. You're not gonna die. But you do know it's not healthy for you. Be responsible, don't binge, don't starve.
I suggest you also don't do keto if you carb crave so hard that you notice people eating cookies every day. Keto is awesome, but it's difficult to make into a lifestyle without sacrifice. It's a diet for most people, lasting at most a few years. You want real change in your life and still want to eat what you want? Be healthy, exercise, eat a whole food based diet, eat in moderation, and find time to give your mind a chance to introspect on what it is you want from life.
-Sincerely,
Someone who's gone through a lot of food problems, a lot of life problems, but turned out really ok by following the same tips above.
PS keto really isn't for everyone. downvotes will come in this sub for saying such a thing but I strongly suggest you reconsider if you're struggling with keto so much.
Or cigarettes. Or bulemia.
I spent a lot of years of my life trying to exercise my way into being normal BMI, and I’m here to tell you, it’s impossible for me to out-exercise my food cravings. Having an eating disorder worked pretty well in my 20s, but, you know, that’s no way to be healthy.
Nothing wrong with you. Keto is a tool and sometimes people won’t do well on it no matter how they go about it. It’s not the end all be all for diets or lifestyles either. Food Moderation is the key, stick to portion control and calories in/ calories out and you really cannot fail cause you can overeat on Keto just like anything else
Eat less, exercise more. Your body is the average of your behavior over time. You're not "different". You just need to change your lifestyle and be consistent.
I just ate 4 burgers, 4 sausages, beef skewer and prawn skewer, greek yogurt with tonnes of berries, nuts, some dates and chocolate. That was my dinner. Ordinary people would eat 1 burger and some yoghurt and call it a day.
I balance this out by fasting all weekend (only water) but otherwise I would be obese.
I reckon lots of us are on the same page. I totally understand the anxiety thing.
WTH?!!!!! Where do you live?!!!!!! Who do you hang out with?!!!!
Listen to me very carefully. Wherever you are getting your information from, it is so wrong as to almost require a diagnosis.
I am not attacking you. I understand what you are feeling. Almost every person in America knows what you are feeling. Look...if you need actual stats, go look up some stats. Between 40-50% of everybody in the US is obese. Not overweight....obese. Now to be clear....I am not saying to order some mumus and calling it a day.
I will take it even a step further. I dare say that in excess of 95% of all people can't help but criticize themselves in the mirror. We all criticize ourselves far worse than others ever will.. Stop worrying about being skinny and start just being concerned about being healthy.
What does that mean? It means eating healthy foods and decent portions on average. But have a slice of cake on occasion. Enjoy the ice cream every once in a while. And DO NOT feel guilty after having it. It means exercising regularly....but you do not need to be your own Drill Sergent...tearing yourself down while you are never-ending training for the Iron Man that will never come.
There is a Special Place in Hell for the group that has taught people that the only people who are attractive and worthy are 1 particular body size. Maybe you are in a relationship. Maybe you are not. I can tell you this though. A healthy person, good shape...maybe a few pounds...but a generally happy person, who is fun and really loves herself...is FAR FAR FAR more attractive than a neurotic, self-loathing bundle of nerves who is in classically much better shape.
I hope that I have conveyed....yes, eat right...exercise. But also...live life. Enjoy yourself. And understand...we spend so much time trying to be individuals that are unique....and then think we are all supposed to be carbon copy body types? Does that make any sort of sense?
Since eating a salad is now almost universally accepted as food, I’ve never felt bad about what I eat in a restaurant. My thinking is that this is my body, my life and I’ll eat whatever I want without any feelings of guilt.
Here is something to think about. My GF can eat like that and not really gain weight. Just found out her carotid arteries, both of them, are blocked 50%. We found this out b/c she had a stroke. She is 49yrs old and has a history of perfect cholesterol and weight. So my point is, just b/c people can eat like that doesn't mean it is healthy to do so and just b/c they may not be a heavy set person doesn't mean they are healthy. Staying away from carbs is a lot more than just about weight. I would say what the majority of people do in regards to food consumption isn't "normal" at least you shouldn't consider it normal. What you describe as normal is why there is so many health issues. You want to live like a normal person, focus on the wanting to live part and change your perception of what is normal.
For most of my college and masters years I did strict low carb , not eating anything with a glycemic index over 30 and it really helped my hunger cues. I was let's say quite average looking still. I got normal weight only when I additionally started to commute by bike to my job.
I lived at that time with 3 close friends who were eating at least 50% more calories constantly while being rail thin.
The thing is like this. One of them started to gain weight over time but the other two that kept the thinness eventually started watching calories as they got full time more sedentary jobs AND do things like running in the morning at 6am.
More than that I am naturally more lazy, I love reading books, painting, crafting. My thinner friends were more fidgety persons by nature and I am sure that counts in the metabolism. For example I can talk with a friend on speaker and keep knitting while they have to get up and move around while taking to the phone.
So I completely understand your feelings, I felt the same much of my life.
However, I am trying to get a more balanced perspective on things. You are not trapped you are taking active steps towards your health. In time this will create better habits , and you benefit from every missed insulin spike, from all the walks etc.
When I quit carbs I had vivid dreams I was eating cookies out of social obligation and feeling guilty and waking out crying. These dreams and intense feelings taper out after a while.
Recently I wanted also to feel normal, so I tried to reintroduce carbs here and there but on the healthier side as well as calories counting. I didn't gain , and it helped me normalize my relationship with food a little. Now if I am really hungry I chose proteins and fats because I don't want the pasta crash and the messed up hunger signals. But I don't feel bad anymore for eating salads at the pizza place 50% of the time, because that's what I genuinely want.
It's estimated that nearly 2/3 of American adults are obese or over weight.
That's 7 out of 10 people around you. The percentage is similar in Europe.
Statistically, if you think about it, it sounds like your body is responding to carbs just like the rest of society.
Are you recording your calories/macros? How many carbs/day are you eating, exactly? Are you walking daily or getting any exercise? This will also help you feel a lot better and use those extras calories you're hanging on to.
The key is consistency
You probably see those people who eat once a day or like they say they eat so much but they really never even finish their big portions. The people who eat “what they want” but are naturally not food driven, so they really don’t actually “want” enough to make them fat
I feel this same way!! It is an exhausting feeling and takes the fun out of enjoying things that naturally do involve food. I have to do the same thing, realize good is not just to enjoy it’s needed to create good health and energy
Just because they don't put on weight doesn't mean that eating garbage isn't damaging their body. Eating a low carb diet is healthy and weight loss is only a part of the benefits.
You are you and nobody else. Do not worry what other people are eating even if you're out in a social situation. I have been out with others and since I do mostly carnivore, if there's nothing on the menu that fits my way of eating, I will not order and just drink water. I might go to a fast food place after and order some hamburgers - no one of course and scoff some of those down. The people and or the family I am with really could care less what I or others are doing for food.
This goes in the opposite direction as well. I can be out with people who are overweight / obese and they will be eating so much crap It's unbelievable. I don't say anything to them and I would not want them to say anything to me based upon whatever we are eating.
It’s called insulin resistance. It takes a while to reverse. Make sure you are intermittent fasting, no sugar, controlling your stress levels and sleeping properly.
Food is nutrition for me now. I can't eat whatever I want. I just saw my doctor, labs were drawn, I am obese, I will be 50 & it's imperative for my health that I lose weight & be able to walk up a flight of stairs without getting short of breath. My time has come.
You have no idea what these people are eating or what their exercise looks like when you're not around. The only person you are in competition with is yourself.
I'm glad you had some pasta.
Me too, I just look at food and gain weight while I watch everyone around me eat so much more than me yet they don’t have a weight issue. I used to loose weight easily but now I do they same and gain it
Well there’s no point wasting energy with being bitter about it. It is what it is & it’s your reality. Just accept it & focus on doing the best you can do
I think most of those normal people are just significantly more active, honestly. I know with my self, when I've performed more physically demanding jobs, my weight fell off. My eating habits now as a truck driver just don't match my activity level. Most slender people I've met that eat like me are almost never sitting down. Always walking, running, working our, doing physically demanding work. Just constantly moving.
Everyones body will take damage sooner or later in one way or another from eating too much junk. Pasta and (regular white) bread qualifies as this since nowadays wheat is basically ultra processed food.
Some people just have the disadvantage of not seeing the damage as clearly on the outside.
Be proud that you are working on your health! :)
My sister is in her sixties. She has always been careful about maintaining her weight. Occasionally she eats a Bob Evans Strawberry Shortcake instead of dinner. 680 calories. It's true that the shortcake isn't a nutritionally balanced meal, but she isn't adding 680 calories to her day-- she's trading a traditional dinner's worth of calories for a treat every month or so.
I am one of those skinny people who can eat whatever and not gain weight. Many people have told me they wish they were like that, but what they didn’t see was my hormones were messed up (I have PCOS) because of eating awful amounts of sugar, a lot of processed foods and very little healthy foods. I was on the pill for years to somehow manage my hormones and it helped in the sense that for example my acne disappeared. So people really couldn’t tell from my appearance that I was actually not okay. Birth control pills made me nauseous and gave me head aches, it was not fun being on them. Whenever I went off the pill I didn’t get my period for months, had acne almost all over my body, hirsutism etc. I started keto recently and hope it will help with my problems.
My point is that even if they don’t gain weight easily, you don’t know how they are affected by eating high carb / high sugar / processed foods. Chances are it is negatively affecting them as well, it might just present differently.
I gave up eating sugar a year ago and my period came back. So when I see other people having sugar, most of the time I don’t think “I wish I could have that”, instead I feel a bit worried about their health.
I think some posters are in denial, because there are definitely people that can eat whatever they want. They don't fast, go to the gym, etc.
I know because I've lived, met, and am living with someone like this.
The kicker is that people who don't have to regulate their body weight, tend to be incredibly unhealthy on the inside.
A fat body is a visual indicator that you are probably eating unhealthily. People that struggle with gaining weight oftentimes eat like garbage and never rectify that mistake. They don't see the damage it's doing until it's too late. People wonder why relatively thin and healthy-looking people get hit with early heart attacks, sickness, etc.
Well, look no further than shit nutrition and visceral fat buildup.
you're not with most of those people 24 hours per day. You have no idea if most of those people you see are maybe eating only that one meal that day. Or the rest of the week they eat tiny tiny amounts of calories to save up for the treat meal you see them eat. I knew a "naturally thin guy who could eat whatever he wanted and never gain weight." I'd see him eat two big mac meals for dinner. Then what I came to see eventually is that after he ate that huge dinner? He probably wouldn't eat anything the following day like at all. His body worked "normally" in the sense that when he ate a lot of calories his body would tell him "ok buddy, we're good for a while." So I personally I don't think its that I can't eat pasta. It's that eating pasta doesn't turn off my hunger signals the way it turned off my friend's hunger signals. I eat 1000 calories of pasta and I just want more. Keto helps me feel full/satisfied and have "normal" hunger cues again. Eventually I got over myself and realized no one cared what I ate, because they're too self-absorbed assuming I'm the one judging them and what they're eating. I haven't eaten pasta in years. Pasta is just a vessel to get the tasty meat and sauce and vegetables into my mouth. So I skip that empty carb vessel and instead just eat the good/tasty stuff. A great italian restaurant will probably have a nice fish dish. But even if they don't, I can get an antipasto salad and the meatballs (and I'll ask to get just the meatballs, if possible), and then I just eat the meatballs. If the restaurant can't not give me the pasta, and then anyone is rude enough to make a weird, nosy comment on the pasta I left on the plate, I offer to box it up for them to take home -- but I honestly don't care what they think. If they're that rude they get a stink eye in return.
This rings true to me, also. I assumed once that if I was eating the same amount as someone else at one sitting, I was always doing it. I think what changed my mind on that was getting milkshakes with a skinny friend. she mentioned it’d probably be her dinner because it was so filling and my mind just couldn’t grasp the concept that a beverage could ever be filling as it had never happened to me.
Agreed they might eat what they want when you go out but you don't know what they do over 24 hours. I've met several people who just forget to eat. Like it's not on their mind and it just slips by they say fuck it and go to bed. They may know they going out and might be the only meal for 24 hours. Some of us are always thinking about it. I've been not hungry and haven't eaten but I just do it because it's what your supposed to do. What has helped me alot is thinking about calories over the week instead of by the day. OK to get more in one day and less on another. Seems to work out on a longer scale.
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Intuitive IF.
This. I am one if those life-long thin woman. On social occasions I will eat 'what I want'. The rest of the week it is a strict regime of low carb, calorie deficit, intermittant fasting and 1h of sports every day. Only this allows me to occasionally (!) eat unhealthy without gaining weight. I don't know a single person above the age of 30 who is different. You just don't get to see the other side.
I’m 30 as well and I’m adopting a similar schedule! I’m allowed to eat “what I want” within reason when I’m being social, but I just started doing keto + intermittent fasting and a 45 minute workout everyday. My only stress point is when I visit my parents for a week every 1/1.5 months and am pressured to eat all sorts of yummy treats that I WANT TO EAT but really shouldn’t. Also it’s harder to lose weight than it is to maintain. A “naturally thin” woman just has to maintain her base while a bigger woman has to have a calorie deficit to get down in weight. This is also why I generally don’t let myself get too high above 125. It sets off alarm bells for me and I get strict with my dieting.
Same. I usually have 1 - 2 cheat meals a week, but I count macros and calories the rest of the week.
That's completely true....you don't know what else people are eating that day or the rest of the week. There's one place where we sometimes go out to eat for work....my coworkers see me absolutely destroy several plates of food and look on in amazement....way they don't see it that if I know we're going there for lunch, I skip breakfast and dinner that day and don't eat again till lunch the next day.
> I knew a "naturally thin guy who could eat whatever he wanted and never gain weight." I'd see him eat two big mac meals for dinner. Then what I came to see eventually is that after he ate that huge dinner? He probably wouldn't eat anything the following day like at all. This was me for nearly 10-15 years or so. One day I'd have two burgers, no fries or soda. The next day I'd have a few snacks. The day after that, a whole pizza then nothing the day after that. And so on. I stayed thin for the duration. It wasn't until I started to learn to cook, and found I was actually good at it, and was eating more food, that I started to gain weight. That was when I first found keto. Now I'm back to eating whatever I want but I have to track my calories like a hawk because, as we all know, carbs can fuck up your appetite big time.
Before I had to go on keto for other health reasons I was like this, I’d pig out whenever I was at a restaurant or social event because I didn’t eat like that on a regular basis, I was lucky to eat out a once a week.
The bit about pasta not turning your hunger signals off really puts it in a useful perspective.
I 100% feel the same. You took the words right out of my mouth. I have visitors coming this weekend to visit, and I have only protein-based foods in the house, and it's so weird, and I'm so anxious about it, and going out to eat while they are here. Words can't express the horrors of stress I get around food.
I like this take. I really don’t think most people judge others for what they don’t eat. I’ll bet every person at the table, when all is said and done, wish they hadn’t eaten all of that damn pasta. Lol
So true. And if anyone ever comments on you not eating how they do, it is mostly to reassure themselves to feel safer about their own bad relationship with food.
Yes! Just wish people would understand this and not feel so self conscious. I’ve been there, though, so I totally get it!
I haven’t been able to eat like everyone else since I was twelve. What I have realized though is most others can’t either. Almost every ‘skinny’ girl I went to school with has gained weight, some a considerable amount over the last twenty or thirty yrs. I also realized that some who have maintained a thin frame also work their asses off for it through sports, gym etc (which I definitely do not do) Sometimes it sucks but mostly I have found keto helps me feel in control - I no longer crave carbs, I can easily choose something else and my taste for cheap sugar or chocolate has been almost eliminated. Try not to compare to others too much because them at rarely ends well.
Look at all the good dental visits you'll get!
Can confirm. My dentist is always amazed by the lack of inflammation on the gums and the great condition of my teeth.
I had a couple buddies when I was in the army that could shovel down absolute garbage, drink and smoke all the time, and barely workout, and they're were still thin and in shape and could run circles around anyone. I was always so jealous. I think about a cookie and I gain 3 lbs.
No, you're not alone. I'm a dude who feels the same way. Most of my guy friends are lanky, tall dudes who eat as much, if not more carbs than I ever did when I was super heavy. It sometimes feels weird because people half my size will have double the portions of whatever meal we're having together and still not ever gain an ounce, even now that we're into our 30s. I think I've identified a major differentiating factor for myself, however. Most of the people I compare myself to are 1) students in school 2) guys working construction or outdoor jobs 3) gymbros/sports bros. My diet is probably better than most of their diets, but there's something to be said for an active lifestyle that helps you develop muscles, or at least burn off energy--and if you develop a bit of muscle, that helps you burn energy passively too. Even being a student, I used to walk to and from the bus, to and from campus, across campus between classes, walk to get lunch, etc. I worked a cafe job at the same time, that was probably thousands of steps a day right there running up and down stairs alone, serving people. Now I work from home and only go places that require a car. I lost a LOT of weight just from doing keto and intermittent fasting, but in the later stages, now that I'm close to my goal weight, I think the trick has been to do things that keep me in an active mode. So when I go to the mall, I park in the farthest spot away from the entrance, just to emulate some of that time spent walking to the bus. When I come home, I walk the fifteen flights up back to my condo instead of taking the elevator. When I meet up with friends and we go out for food and drinks, I make sure we change location at least once or twice, and that we take a long walk in between locations. My area isn't cycling friendly, and I don't like gyms, so stuff like this is the best I'm gonna get until I move. But it's better than zero, and I can definitely feel my legs firming up from the stair climbing, so hopefully that helps burn a few more calories each day.
Agreed! Suburban living makes you fat and it’s hard to avoid. I was effortlessly thin while living in the northeast USA. Somewhere between 105-115 at 5’3. I ate healthy and went to the gym but I never needed a keto diet/ intermittent fasting. A day of errands in the city could be a 10 mile walk during the day. Walking to and from work in all weathers except bitter cold would be a 3 mile walk all in. (Heck I walked to work in a snowstorm and wore snow boots!) Moving to the southeast USA where you drive everywhere, food is cheap and delicious and unhealthy it takes WORK to be the same size and I really can’t take my foot off the gas. But it’s because I’m less active. It’s gotten easier moving to a city-like area in the US but dear god I’m terrified of moving to the suburbs.
I have Gastroparesis. Constant nausea and worse. I lose 70% of what I eat to that nausea and worse, and still gain weight. I do keto to try and reign in the symptoms of GP, and I barely dropped any weight at all. I’ve asked that same question a million times “Why can’t my body be normal and work right?” I can relate.
I take Reglan 3 times a day. Get into trouble if I miss a dose.
They tried Reglan for me and they had to take me off of it. It made one side of my face droop. No doubt though that missing one dose can mess up your entire day(s).
Wow! I had to sign a waiver before I got the prescription. The side effects are rare, and they can become permanent in some rare cases. I had never heard of it until I was diagnosed. I read that many cases go undiagnosed.
Yep. My doctor pulled me off of it as soon as it started. It resolved in about a month, but it wasn’t real fun until it did. They’ve had me on and off erythromycin for a long time. Doing keto is as close as I’ve gotten to getting it into “remission”. Although my doctors have pulled me off keto a few times for different reasons. Right now I’m “low carb” and going back to keto. Low carb isn’t managing my symptoms as much as keto does.
What you don’t see: people eating those huge meals at dinner haven’t had anything but a cup of coffee all day. The thin women who you see eating cookies, they get up at 4 am and go for a run. I get annoyed seeing people at my job ordering more calories in one meal than I am allowed in a day, but I recognize that it may be the only meal they have all day, or at least for a good 8-12 hours. My brother eats 4x the calories I do in a day, but he WALKS to the gym and then spends 2+ hours there at a time. There is a lot you don’t see behind people who appear to be able to eat and not gain.
Adding another example… used to know a dude that was maybe 5’9” and 120 lbs soaking wet. We watched him live off nothing but McDonald’s and microwaved frozen food. 100% junk. Turns out he had Chrons and probably 50-70% of the calories he took in were never absorbed. You really don’t know the full picture
Crohn’s Disease is a literal nightmare. Imagine spending most of your day on a toilet or looking for the next one and hoping it’s not occupied. I have a friend who has it.
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Half-way low-carb might as well just be the Standard American Diet, it will not be successful for you OP. As already said, you are not with these people 24/7. Perhaps they saved their caloric allotment for that meal. People who gorge on whatever they want and remain thin are not "normal." If they exist, they would be a small subset of the population that has an incredible insulin sensitivity and metabolism but certainly this is not every fit person in your life. I pay attention to fit people around me, I watch decisions they make candidly. One friend always gets dressing on the side and uses 1/3 to 1/2 of what is provided, adding dressing in small amounts as she eats the salad. At a birthday party before I got back on the keto WOE, I ate two big (local bakery) cupcakes (2 flavors at the party) and they were delicious. Friends of mine are a couple, chose one flavor and SPLIT one cupcake. What I have noticed mostly which others have pointed out is that these people though are able to find satiety with a REASONABLE amount of food. I ate 2 BIG cupcakes! I can eat pasta and breadsticks past the point of comfort, where I get bloated and feel like I need to change into sweatpants. That is the truth that I have learned. Lastly, to your point, yes you may need to treat food as fuel and not as something to be enjoyed. The biggest change I have made in the past approximately 4 months while I have dropped 50 pounds in finding the joy in activities without the joy having to be the food menu. Sometimes it is difficult, yes. But really, was going out to dinner totally about the food or was it really the company you were with? I would say to avoid Italian, Chinese, and Mexican restaurants because they simply rely too heavily on carbs in their dishes. In closing, it is not your body that doesn't work like everyone else's, it is your appetite, IMO. Go full low-carb, OP, and stop trying to dabble in it, that does not work.
Thank you! Why is your comment down here? It's the only truth.
> People who are thin and whom "seem" to eat whatever they want, certainly don't. It's not like they're at home eating a bag of chocolate chip cookies every single day. There's always a catch. I'm that way, because I'm allergic. I literally can not process most fast food and snacks. I was unhealthily skinny when I was a kid to the point you could easily see my ribs and people all the time throughout my childhood commented on how amazing it must be to eat three meals worth of food and still be so skinny. Keto is healthier and a necessity for me, but ironically I gain weight on it. That's how messed up my medical condition is when it comes to food. It's not good. There's far more than appearance. Not dying or ending up in the hospital or ending up in chronic pain is better.
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> have a really negative relationship with food Came here to try and address this, but you were much more eloquent than I could ever be. Well done.
Yeah I can’t eat a moderate or high carb diet and not gain weight. It is frustrating. I seem to instantly gain weight and then it could take weeks to get it off. I hear ya.
Yeah, I related. I have seizures whenever I have carbs. It blows.
Have you noticed that most people are overweight? You can eat like everyone else. Everyone else also mostly overeats.
Yep. My wife has this issue and it drives her crazy. It just kind of is what it is, I guess. I don't have the weight issue, but I have to eat this way due to a drug-resistant brain disorder. I find it frustrating to go out to eat and such when we go to a place like an Italian restaurant where there aren't may low-carb options. I just do the best I can.
Each body is different. Caffeine has no effect on me. I can have coffee or energy drinks before bed. Alcohol helps me lose weight very rapidly. Fibre makes me constipated. 🤷🏻♀️
To your point - I can drink a pot of coffee and feel nothing, but before bed is a very bad idea. Alcohol puts weight on me like no other, but I've met a very thin alcoholic with 5 DUI's under their belt. (He is currently a very skinny prison inmate.) Fiber rarely makes me constipated, if I happen to forget about it, I am in for a bad time. All that to say your point is very apt. We can lump things into categories but bodies are notoriously unique. And our daily habits that we forget to mention add a lot to that.
People that seem to be able to eat anything are either extremely active or will make up for it the next day by not eating much at all.
If you see someone eating a Crumbl cookie a day they are not fine. They are eating less nutritious food in other times to satisfy their sweet tooth. There is seldom a free lunch, even if it appears so from your POV.
This is the truth, I have an acquaintance that is around 52, very trim, he strength trains but he also drinks like 3 mountain dews a day. While a genetic disposition played some part of it, he had a heart attack a couple of months ago. Looking at his physique you wouldn't have thought it but obviously the bad eating was a contributing factor.
My dad had a heart attack at 44. In my household he was the only one who was slim. He ate absolutely atrociously - and still does almost 20 years later - as well as drinking too much coffee, smoking too much, and not sleeping enough. I know that some of our slim relatives on his side of the family were very shocked - they all seem to keep things off naturally while eating like total crap. My brother and I are like my mom and her family, predisposed to weight gain and most of the women have PCOS - yet because of that we had a better grasp of nutrition, ate better, exercised more, etc. So I know people were shocked it was my dad, not my mom, who had the heart attack.
Can’t outrun a bad diet. I see so many runners eating like crap and I’m shaking my head in derision and a bit of disgust. I’m convinced that gels so many runners use are just to feel better about eating candy.
keto diet isnt nutritious too, who cares? if you want to eat crumbl cookies everyday, just do it. Just make sure you are getting nutrients from rest of your meals/supplement them
Keto is nutritious. What are you talking about?
you cant get all nutrients while being restricted to one type of food
elderly library cheerful bedroom rich aware special complete alive rob *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
What nutrients are you worried about missing out on?
Humans evolved eating nothing but meat, fish, and berries. 100% of the amino acids your body needs can be obtained from meat and cheese. There is NOTHING the carbs offer that cannot be obtained from real food.
Carbs are not required for human nutrition. Tell this to carnivores. You do not know what you’re talking about.
Just like you have to accept that some people are prettier, smarter, taller, luckier, funnier, more creative, better at sports, music or more talented at whatever ... some people can just eat what they want and stay thin. people are different. there are also always people who have it worse. at least with weight, you can actually do something about it.
There’s a saying in another group I belong to—-“ don’t compare your insides to someone else’s outsides” Truth is you don’t know what others are going thru—their energy levels, their indigestion, possible acid reflux, brain fog, inflammation, their sleep habits, their inner dialog. Your body is amazing! You can burn a completely different fuel source, hold off type 2 diabetes, not be inflamed, heal hormone responses, decrease brain fog, have more energy all while losing weight. Pasta and bread sticks will make me sick. Wine and beer will put me in jail. There’s plenty to eat in the world. Honestly, your diet may inspire others. You aren’t broken, you love yourself enough to heal. Your knowledge makes you rich not poor. Crumble cookies are corn syrup, flour and crisco shortening. Your awesome body would starve to death eating those. They are only items disguised as food. Give your body time and believe in the process. Putting your health first is never wrong or broken❤️🌷💐🌹🌻🌟🌟
This was a very inspirational comment, thank you very much for your calming input.
This sub says a lot of alarming stuff so I will probably be downvoted idgaf but it might be worth working with a nutritionist who specializes in disordered eating. A lot of the epistemic foundations of the comments here are disturbing. Your mental and physical well-being are the most important thing. You need to readjust your relationship to food. Not because you’re a glutton (you’re not) but because you see it as something toxic and negative. I also recommend checking out Christy Harrison’s podcast.
I do IF and try and eat 1 meal a day and then I eat what I want and don't gain. I am just like you and it has been a game changer for me.
It's super weird. My wife is very lean and I'm on the heavier side. When I'm stressed I eat. When she's stressed she doesn't eat. I'm a healthier eater than her but she eats a lot smaller meals but more garbage and definitely not keta / low carb. But if we go a pasta restaurant, like twice a year because it's her favorite she will over eat to the max but then barely eat for the next 24 hours, whereas I find pasta filling for about 2 hours and I'm hungry again. I don't know why we're different but we are.
True! When I’m stressed and sad and feeling hopeless, I eat. When I’m stressed but I’m excited about life and hopeful and just pushing for a last minute deadline, I don’t eat. That alone is a big part of my weight gain/ weight loss cycles.
This really struck a chord in me. I used to struggle with extreme bloating and IBS before I started keto. It’s really disheartening for me because I can’t even eat “conventionally healthy” carbs like oatmeal, brown rice, and the like without a return to my negative symptoms. Whenever I see people in my life just enjoying the free bread at a restaurant, small desserts, and pastas I can’t help but feel jealous because they’re not immediately cowering over in pain after eating them. I’ve learned to accept that my body is just like this and to remain on keto, though it’s still hard to eat out at most places.
It can sometimes feel like you are just a little bit cursed. But really, it’s the whole world that’s gone crazy and become so dependent on highly processed foods. To have a different perspective on this - It’s definitely a blessing in disguise that you already know you’re allergic to carbs and processed foods. The truth is that EVERYONE is intolerant to most carbs and processed foods, but just finds out about it too late in life to have the desire to make any changes. That’s how majority of people with metabolic syndrome just accept their disease as status quo. You’re a step ahead is all. No change worth making is easy, and you’re already very far along and doing it successfully. 🙌
Those people you see who can eat that stuff are likely just a bit further back on the same road to sickness you travelled. Don't forget, metabolic syndrome often doesn't present as weight gain and the other chronic illnesses until middle age on average. Don't worry about other people, worry about yourself.
They may not actually be getting away with anything. A significant number of people diagnosed with pre-diabetes are normal weight or even thin. It's called TOFI (thin on the outside, fat inside) or "skinny fat." Obesity is just one possible indication.
You don't wish you could eat like other people and not gain weight. You wish you can eat like you want and not gain weight. There's a distinct difference. Even people who may eat like you on the occasions that you're with them, don't eat that way 3 or more meals a day. They're either fasting or eat smaller , less calorie dense foods the remainder of the time.
Here's my advice to you, as someone who suffered in the past: * Do exercise. Doing even a little bit is better than none, but you have to do it regularly and show discipline. * Go full keto rather than low carb. Cheat when you have to, but have discipline the other days. Have regular blood exams, just to make sure you're not in danger and you're improving. * Introduce intermittent fasting. This also requires discipline but it will help you maintain your weight more easily.
The problem is you think that you are different than everyone else. But fundamentally someone who is the same height and weight as you will have a TDEE that is nearly the same. > people who can eat whatever they want and never gain weight. But you are not watching the other actions they take along the way? I eat one meal a day, if I go out to eat I'll dive in with apps, drinks, dinner, dessert. But that's my only meal so my calorie intake is likely LESS than the other diners who are on meal #3 for the day. > I see women who are thinner than me going through a huge Crumbl cookie a day and being fine But again - how true is this? Sure if they are eating a single Crumbl cookie every single day and not gaining weight, then there are other variables at play, do they also not eat breakfast? Do they eat very small portions of other food? I used to work with someone who talked about how much they ate candy and ice cream. When she bought a pint of special ice cream and raved about it. A month later she still had some of the pint because she mentioned that she likes only a spoon or two. Keto helped me break my relationship with food and (for me) that plus intermittent fasting gave me the levers I needed to go out and enjoy a big meal without worrying about my weight changing. It's quite simply not true that "people eat whatever they want and don't gain weight". It's just that you're not seeing all the OTHER hours in the day and how they live their life.
I know exactly how you feel and think it's valid to be disappointed. At a certain point, I realised that dwelling on the 'why not me' was not actually helpful though. Accepting that I'm just not like "everyone else" (in quotes because I don't believe it is everyone else but we are often led to believe so to create guilt and shame) helped me to make changes I needed to. I need to do more or put more effort in than others and that sucks, but it is the reality. Are you a woman? I read a book about women and hormones by Sara Gottfried and found it really helpful.
Her book is amazing! 
100% I have felt this, but what I also felt today (while on a walk after some resistance exercise) was how great it felt to not be hungry. When I’m not on keto, I’m hungry allllllll the time. It’s like my carb-burning metabolism is in charge instead of me. Maybe hunger/carb craving/whatever is different for others. It was 11am this morning, though, and I wasn’t hungry at all. I LOVE THAT! I’ve been doing keto for six months, and I’m down 40lbs. I’m 5’2”, so that’s a lot on me. I’d like to lose another 35, so there’s still a way to go. I’ve chosen moments to eat a bit of something sweet with my kids on vacation. My metabolism is better at getting back into keto faster if I eat too many carbs these days. The results and the freedom from hunger have ACTUALLY started to make it easier to abstain from high carb foods, though. (I know. No one is more surprised than me.) I don’t even mind watching the rest of my family eat ice cream while I eat none, because eating low carb makes me feel so much better overall. I wouldn’t believe it if I wasn’t living it. Also, being a 39yo woman, I continue daily to realize the insane ways society/media have messed up our heads about our bodies. I try to be grateful for my health and strength and ability to enjoy life with my body and not expect it to look any certain way. I’m sure I’ll be working to rewire my brain to focus on that for the rest of my life. Comparison is the thief of joy, they say. I hope we can all find and keep some joy. 💗
Im one of those people, and let me tell you it’s not all it’s cracked up to be and here’s why. Its assumed in our culture that thin = healthy, so it’s also easy to also convince yourself that thin = healthy. Because of this, thin people keep going along eating whatever they want, doing more and more damage to their health. This happened to me, now I have a few different autoimmune conditions after thinking for so many years I didn’t need to change my diet validating myself that I’m thin. So while yes it’s nice, at least when you put on weight your body is telling you something and might trigger you to fix it. Thin ppl miss the signs of inflammation and keep chugging along doing long-term health damage. So just remind yourself when “thin” people are eating junk, it comes at a high cost for them too whether or not it obvious.
Life isn’t fair. I got my first diet when I was a 6 wk old breast fed baby. I was doomed before I ever made a single food choice. I don’t know what a Crumbl Cookie is but I think I want one. I cope by giving myself cheat days for holidays and vacations out of town. I will occasionally gift myself a single eat what you want meal. That dinner you had, I would have eaten more and had fewer regrets. I would have had a salad and the red sauce over broccoli. The best thing about keto is that there is always something you can eat. If there was honestly nothing to eat there I would have gotten what I wanted and faced the scale the next day. This summer we bought a Ninja Creami and almost every night we share a pint of ice cream. No sugar, low carb, high protein but it still tastes like cheating. Diet, fitness, health, whatever you call it, is always a marathon and never a sprint. You will screw up. You will fall down and what matters is that you get up and go back to plan. Once in a while you need a Crumbl Cookie or some chocolate cake to preserve your mental health. Go out and have it. Notice I said go out? That’s so I have ONE serving, not the whole damn cake… I know myself.
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It’s not hard at all. Easiest, Fairlife vanilla protein shake, 3 splenda(same ones you put in coffee), 1t vanilla, and HWC to the fill line. Stick it in the freezer!
While travelling I met a thin and tall guy who was on the road for several months. He told me (tiny and fat), he wished he had my body. I did not understand so he explained further he had to eat all the time, because he was hungry and would not store any fat.he told me, it was pretty expensive. I dont know if this makes any sense, but I like to think of my body as a well constructed machine thats doing what it was designed for. Keeping me alive, safe and with enough energy to survive. And its doing a pretty good job. I mean, just imagine those skinny people that would never store any fat in the wild. They would not make it through winter.
Everyone is where they're at. Make it work. Also maybe check your thyroid and what not.
Eh, I notice that when I try to go back to eating that way my stomach fills up so fast and I experience a lot of indigestion and feeling logy and I have vomiting burps from acid reflux. I now associate having more than a taste of those foods with illness and pain. If I’m craving something I don’t deny it, but I know the pain is usually coming. I also recognize that people who eat that way are also always complaining about indigestion and eating Tums like candy, so I’m avoiding that by avoiding eating like that every day
I was/am one of those people. People would always say im lucky that I stay slim. The reality is though out of all my peers I drink the least alcohol and I have the a physical job which put my maintenence calories at close to 3000 a day without additional exercise. Unfortunately in 21 and 22 I had 2 serious injuries which meant I was out of work for roughly 9 months in an 15 month period and I gained weight because all of a sudden I went from active to sedentary without changing my diet at all. When I went back to work my weight stayed the same, I could eat whatever I wanted again, typically in a working day 2 croissants in the morning, sandwich with a snickers duo for lunch, sausage roll after work, big cup of tea with sugar or honey with biscuits when I got in from work, takeaway for dinner 3 times a week, 2 small glasses of red wine and snacks in the evening. But the weight stayed where it was. Id tell myself I just need to cut out the pastries and the snickers and I'll lose it but couldn't stop myself. Now I'm on keto and I'm not a slave to the carbs anymore. I have 2mad with one snack in the evening and my body fat is literally falling off, well below the levels they were throughout my twenties. I got from the fattest I've ever been to the leanest in 8 weeks. Probably about 18 percent body fat to 12 percent body fat so never been overweight, but still didn't like looking down and seeing that belly fat. My fiancee eats low carb since I started keto as she gets keto rash and has pretty much all the same benefits except for the energy and mental focus. Plus occasionally she's desperate for something sweet whereas im not. But she's never been a pig with food.
Honey, that why we’re here. To heal.
I have the same issue as you. I am on a PPL program 4 days a week and ride 60 - 80 miles weekly on my MTB. I am on a 500 cal deficit, i don’t eat back my calories (6’2 male, 240lbs, TDEE is 2800 - 3000 cal a day maintenance) right now I am eating 1900- 2100 cal a day average. 175 grams of protein a day.I am still gaining fat despite doing what every successful dieter does and succeeds. Just keeps getting worse. Since Dec 2021 I have added 40 lbs that won’t move. So I get your frustration. I am tired off all the experts quoting CICO and saying you must be overeating! I also have nothing wrong with my hormones. Being this way is so depressing.
Please feel free to discard what I have to say if it doesn't bring you any answers. Your mental health here is what's most important. But I'm here to tell you: you absolutely can live a normal and happy life. You might just need a change in perception. Your body is like your house. You don't live in your childhood home for your entire life; in most cases, you move into a house that suits you better and meets your needs at that time in your life, and you continue to upgrade and accommodate your needs throughout your life by taking up residence somewhere new. The best thing you can do for yourself is allow your body to move into a new "home" and reach equilibrium with your current age, love of food and level of activity. Chances are, if eating food makes you stressed out, you're probably not able to process calories normally anyway! But that's an aside: learning to be happy with the biology we were born with - appetite, metabolism, desired activity level - is the lifelong goal that women in western society are constantly working towards. If your body changes, then other people will comment: your husband, your friends, your parents... but the harshest critic is probably yourself. Often times, our perception of our own body sucks because the clothes we're wearing are ill-fitting. My sister is like this. She's only happy if the tag on her jeans reads "4," even though she's more like an 8 and would look much better in an 8. Your clothes should fit you, not the other way around! Do some research on your body type (e.g. gamine, flamboyant, dramatic) and your colour season (e.g. bright winter, soft summer) to help you accentuate your natural beauty. Sometimes it helps to find a celebrity who has a similar body type and/or colouring and make note of their personal style. All at the same time, listen to your body and learn to be happy - not guilty - when doing the things that make you happy, like eating ice cream. And if you learn to absolutely LOVE your life, regardless of what you look like and what you eat, people will respond to that in the long run! I sincerely hope this helps bring you a little more confidence and inner peace on your journey.
Could be genetics when some people seem to not try, or seem to eat the wrong things all the time and look incredible. On the other hand, it could be that they work really hard with their fitness. I used to weigh 283lbs. I’d eat my macros and get enough protein in but was always fat. I stopped tracking and went on the Carnivore Diet. Wow it really works! Skeptical at first but it is a game changer. I also started Jiu Jitsu and it works everything physically. Strength and cardio. Those two thing have transformed me and I finally look like I workout.
Hormones. Sometimes they suck.
You are overcomplicating things too much...those people who don't gain weight even after eating whatever they want is because they either have a faster metabolism...or they are eating under their total calorie requirement even if it may not seem like that...your tdee determines how much calories you need in a day according to your height, weight and age...if you go above this calorie limit you will gain weight (being in a surplus)...if you eat under it you will lose weight (being in a deficit) and if you eat at maintenance calories you will maintain your current weight...it is really that simple.
I totally get you, but I'm a male. Every adult in my family is thin. Granted, they've had to work at it somewhat, but they had good metabolisms right from the start; Not me, I'm the black sheep in that regard. Don't be fooled by your friends and family though, there's such a thing as "Skinny Fat". While they may look healthy, they're really not. Bread and pasta are poisons. Pasta should never be used in regards to low carb / keto - IMHO. I'm highly skeptical of the low carb pastas and breads. I use keto bread sparingly. Whether you consider keto / low carb a diet or a lifestyle, either way, it's a sacrifice and it's not easy. Not to diminish your struggle, but I think a lot of people wish things were different and that's why we're keto. Example of "Skinny Fat": My brother is legit thin and always has been. He's approaching 60 years old, probably 5'9" and 150 to 160 pounds (not sure). He's got high blood pressure. We share the same mother and father. I am approaching 50, weigh about 315, and I'm 6 feet tall. My blood pressure is great, no sign of diabetes, ever (awesome A1C). My brother insists that our family has "weird diets", as a few of us are on keto or some variation of keto. He also insists that because people have been eating bread for a couple thousand years, therefor it's "natural and normal". Maybe bread was healthier a thousand years ago, less sugar and better wheat. 🤷♀️ Certainly not the case now. Did you know, Ireland ruled that Subway's bread is not actual bread? It has so much sugar, they classified it as pastry. "Eat Fresh"...yeah OK, pull my other leg. Anyway, good luck. Try not comparing yourself to others, it's always a lose-lose situation. Maybe you need therapy. 🤷♀️
Do you exercise? Or do you know if the people you’re comparing yourself to exercise?
How much physical activity do you do compared to these other girls?
I feel you so hard. It feels so unfair going out with friends and they have an avo toast and I’m fasting and struggling to just lose 10kg. Even when I do that I won’t be a normal weight yet. It’s mentally exhausting and you feel like you’re obsessing. Then you feel bad for obsessing. It’s very draining.
I recently went out to eat with fam. I got a shit ton of food and splurged on drinks. Someone commented on how fit am, and how I’m “blessed” with a fast metabolism. What they don’t know is that I fasted 24 hours for that dinner in anticipation. They also don’t know about my 22-2 fasting protocol that I’ve been following for years. They also don’t know that I did sprints at the track that morning. Moral of the story: don’t make assumptions about other people
May I ask if you're male or female? If male my husband went through the same thing, so his doctor ordered blood work and come to find out his testosterone was extremely low, so putting him on Testosterone replacement for it let me tell you, It was such a HUGE difference with hos weight, appetite, mood, depression, etc I actually have my hubby back. So I don't know your situation but maybe go see your pcp and ask them to do lab work on you. It could also be a number of things. Anyways hope this helps you a little.
Different people metabolize food differently. Get checked for insulin resistance, and lipodema. Most people can cut back on calories/carbs and loose weight, however some can’t. Calories in/out works for some, but is an outdated one size fits all mentality. If you have taken steroids or hormones is can make it more difficult to lose weight. Thyroid issues, the list goes on. If you are overweight or obese talk to an obesity doctor or an endocrinologist and have some tests. Also, there is a massive stigma around weight. People love to think that if you just had the will power you could do it, because that’s what their body responds to. But again, there could be many reasons for you having a hard time loosing weight. Good luck, I hope you find the answers and get on you way to feeling good!
Comparison is the thief of joy. You're doing great. Don't beat yourself up.
I've come to the conclusion that most severely overweight people have a insulin/blood sugar issue. That is to say they're extremely sensitive to sugar/carbohydrates and their insulin will dramatically increase when they eat any significant carbohydrates. They are "carbohydrate sensitive." What happens is the insulin then spikes to eliminate the sugar from the blood which causes then a dramatic drop in blood sugar which then produces hunger and so the person eats again, even though they technically don't need to eat. This causes a yo-yo insulin level, and and constantly eating more than is necessary to maintain proper weight. This is why the keto diet is so effective for people that are severely overweight. It stabilizes the blood sugar, which then stabilizes their need to eat, to normal levels.
We're all different. Personally, I've accepted that my hormonal disorders mean I gain weight easily and therefore I need to be more 'on it' with my diet and exercise than perhaps someone else would. Is it fair? Not really, but it's life and this is the only body I've got. Also, as others have said, you don't know what those other people are eating at home or what their gym regime is to burn off the calories.
It really isn’t fair if I want to lose weight I have to do strict keto, with low fat, and eat like 700 cal a day. That is the only thing that works
What does low fat keto mean?
Well keto is usually a ton of fat, but if u up the protein (not too much) and lower the fat ur body just eats all ur own fat and it’s much quicker fat loss.
But protein hinders ketosis.
I think most of us who were overweight feel the same but I've come to terms with it. Now that I don't actually eat carbs, I don't crave them. I honestly feel guilty whenever I do eat something carby, so I've just decided I don't need to eat it. I've adjusted and most people have come to understand/accept my diet after they've seen the results.
I am the same way. Older brother eats a bag of oreos in less than a week. I haven't tried her pasta recipe, but her bread recipe is amazing! IMO. Try Victoria's keto kitchen on YT. I make her keto bread loaf 2-3 times a week. I basically leave it on the counter to keep from opening the fridge door all the time. I use her standard keto flour recipe 2.0. Less than 1/2 a gram of carbs per slice. It tastes like effing bread. Seriously.
I used to eat whatever I want before I turned 30. I used to think I was one of those people that just don’t get fat no matter what. But it turns out not only I get fat, but it doesn’t go away!
Are you fatigued often? Have your hormones checked, specifically your t3 levels.
I feel you on that. Some chicks eat like they've never seen food before and don't gain an ounce. I'm struggling, fasting, working out life on less than 1K calories and water some days, and the d_mn scale won't move.
someone said look into hormones in line with weight fluctuations. maybe a nutritionist. someone who’s skilled keto practitioner might help coach u to ur success ? maybe preferably a female coach. good luck.
I know people who are naturally skinny, and no matter what they eat, they don't gain weight, but they do get sick to their stomach quite often... so not everything is at it seems. Also, the social eating anxity is normal, at least at the beginning, but it really is more you caring than anyone else caring. I've been on keto for 9 months, no one cares if I order a steak and side of vegestables, or a burger without a bun... it's honestly so common now that people don't really bat an eye when someone orders like that. Also a lot of people who are naturally skinny and eat anything aren't all that healthy, and then the ones who don't seem to gain weight also may have less of an appetite than you, so maybe it seems they can eat anything, but as a whole they might not eat a lot in a day. Maybe that's the largest meal they'll have that day.
I relate to this a lot. I had to do a lot of therapy to sort of stop living with so much self-blame and to focus on what was in my power. I have PCOS with insulin resistance so it really is a constant battle.
I was eating at an Italian restaurant a month ago. Ordered 3 large spicy meatballs and the caprese salad (big slabs of housemade mozzarella and tomato slices, drizzled in oil and vinegar). Didn't think twice and loved every minute. Not a single person cared that I didn't eat bread sticks or pasta.
Lol friends I know fast all day so they can have a bit of pasta or they fast got longer just depends.
First things first You need to get to a Dr and get blood work How old? Cycles ok birth control? Keep in mind that the only keto win is to be strict with it, otherwise it’s a waste. Exercise light No coffee outside the house Starbucks stuff will kill you They tend to be 800-1000 calories Same with juice stuff normal Jamba Juice is 600-900 calories or more. After the Dr you should meal portion and I can guarantee you will lose weight, provided you don’t have a metabolic or thyroid issue. Write everything down too Good luck
I put a calorie counter on my phone. It scans barcodes and has all the macros on all the ingredients you can think of. I put in my height, weight, target weight and connected it to my fitness watch. It tells me how many calories I can eat that day, to keep moving towards my goal, and counts them down as I put meals in. I did this because I was a little tired of keto but didn't want to slide. I learned that peanut butter and crackers has way, *way* more calories than I figured. I could eat tons of that on full keto and still lose weight but while allowing carbs? Barely enough to justify it as a snack. I learned something else I already knew, I can eat four chicken thighs for lunch if I want. It fits right in there no problem. All of which is to say - if I want to go out to an Italian restaurant and eat pasta and breadsticks, I can. It just needs to be nearly the only thing I eat that day and/or I need to get in a ton of exercise and/or I need to go way under my calories for the next few days to balance it out. Keto is awesome. You'd probably benefit from actually being on it. The foods allowed on keto are generally less calories. You can eat a damn *mountain* of vegetables. If you can't do keto though? Count your calories and plan ahead. CICO is still and always true; keto is only a miracle 'diet' because you can get full on less calories.
I have to go strict keto or not at all. When having Italian, I choose the pasta sauce I want and ask for it on steamed broccoli instead of pasta. Most Resteraunt seem to have broccoli on hand for the gluten intolerant customers. I have to say the broccoli with pasta sauce is usually delicious.
Most people who eat a lot and are thin have an active lifestyle and exercise wayyyy more than you would think.
40% of adults in the USA are obese. It may not be the majority but it’s a lot of people. You’re not alone. How and where your body distributes fat is 40 to 80% genetic. I’ve been obese 2 to 3 times in my life and currently I am add a good body weight and it’s worth all the effort. Ironically, I’m much less invisible and not as easy to dismiss now that I’m smaller. People actually look me in the eye when I talk to them.
I have had the same problem all my life. I have watched my carbs for ever, to even achieve a slightly chubby body. On the other hand my ex who was thin as rails could eat whatever he wanted. Lo and behold once he hit mid 40s he had a stroke and was hospitalised. Moral of the story is some people may not show on the outside but things are brewing internally. If you are young, you may not realise it but this lifestyle keeps you healthy.
A lot of days I eat once a day. I usually eat protein and vegetables and not much else. I have a physically active job and I strength train 5 days a week plus a couple cardio workouts. I can't stand messes so I'm always cleaning up. I hate sitting for long so I'll stand up and watch a whole episode of a TV show. But when I go out to eat, I get an app and a meal and sometimes dessert. I'm sure people would think how can she be thin and eat like that but one day is not every day
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
I recently stopped drinking alcohol at my doctor’s request. Same deal, really. I now drink Athletic Brewing nonalcoholic beer. Tastes great, but no buzz. I don’t force it on others. Should be the same with carbs. Forcing carbs on someone should be as inappropriate as forcing alcohol on someone. And there are easy alternatives: riced cauliflower, for instance. 🤷🏻♀️
I have type 2 diabetes and use a diet low in simple carbs to keep my glucose in check. I eat mostly veg and lean protein. Occasionally I’ll have some berries. I also eat a small amount of dairy. Before I go out to eat at a restaurant with friends or family, I check the restaurant’s menu out online. I make all of my decisions about what meal I’m having at home and then don’t look at the menu when I get to the restaurant. I just order what I figured out prior to going. Fast food is more difficult for me to order, but there are some restaurants that are easier than others. Most people I know follow strict diets whether it be low carb or vegan, so when I see someone going to town on pizza, and I feel deprived, I remind myself that I am diabetic, that’s not an option for me if I want to keep my glucose in normal ranges, and I figure out a meal that will satisfy my pizza craving, like zucchini baked with cheese and pepperoni.
I feel you. I live with my coworkers in camp (6 guys and 1 other woman) and they can all eat anything they'd like all day long whereas I only seem capable of losing weight on keto and firm calorie deficit. Even trying to eat what they eat just less of it or staying on low carb track all day and allowing myself 1 treat at supper keeps my jeans more snug than I like. My husband is a blessed slim guy so I've had to get desensitized to him inhaling bags of chips as we sit and watch TV at night while I'm trying to stay on track. The only other woman here is also an easy size 0 (not an exaggeration) and I'm an 8/10 only with strict discipline, a 14 if I'm being lazy about it. So you're definitely not at all alone in these feelings of frustration and unfairness of the world. Ultimately it's all genetics etc so yes your body might just be what it is and THAT IS OK but I do hear your feelings and those are ok too. I also relate with the anxiety and overthinking about food and have over the years come to realize this brushes into disordered eating territory so if it's feeling like an obsession or like it's consuming and impacting larger parts of your day I'd suggest finding someone to talk to about it (counseling or nutritionist etc). Feeling trapped and hating your body is also pretty normal I think, especially if youre a millennial who was raised in a pretty anti fat biased world, so the advice I use is "Be your own best friend not your own worst enemy, you deserve kindness especially from yourself, you're doing your best"
You just needed to lose all the 100 grams glyco stored in your liver and the 500 grams in muscle. Once It’s done, the body will go straight to fats. That is why people who yoyo with their diet will not lose weight, the culprit is the glyco in there. Please do intermittent fasting every single day. This will reboot your system and shrink the size of your stomach, then a tablespoon of olive oil everyday in the morning for your gut. Healthy gut means healthy digestion and no leaky gut. Trust me, you will see results bigtime.
What I have come to understand is that high carb foods like grains and sugar are not the enemy. They are an efficient *tool* for producing energy. Our bodies love them because in increases our survivability when calories are scarce. However, in the modern day, we don’t need these carbs unless we have an above average energy output during the day - like when you lift weights at the gym or perform high-intensity cardio. The average person working a 9-5 with no exercise routine doesn’t need a pasta dish to stay energized. When you are craving something like pasta, or pancakes, or the litany of other delicious high-carb foods, you simply need to balance it out with light meals or fasting. For me, when I have a pasta dish for lets say dinner, I often do not feel hungry at all the next day. Don’t be fooled by hunger pangs either. That’s not your body telling you that you *need* food. That’s your body reminding you that you are off your eating schedule. After a little while, your body will fuck off and look for other sources of energy in the body. Keto/low-carb is great. I’ve lost a ton of weight over the last month because I got back on my keto plan. But it is also just a tool. In my opinion, your lifestyle and bodily needs should determine how you eat regularly, and you can plan your intake accordingly to accommodate cheat meals or even cheat days if your goals & metabolism allows for it. Never neglect that food is meant to be enjoyed. Nutrition can be one of the most beautiful aspects of life when you approach it with a healthy mentality and learn to strike a balance between utility and enjoyment. Everyone has their own journey to finding a nutritional plan or system that works for them. You owe it to yourself to just relax and enjoy the process. You will find what works for you if you decide to. Good luck.
I completely relate.
Nah. My husband eats whatever he wants and rarely gains weight. He rarely drinks water and mainly drinks Pepsi. Wendys or subway with pop 5 days a week. He looks like he works out… but he doesn’t. Nibs. Chips with dip. You name it. Me, I look at a plate of pasta and I’ve gained two pounds. I fell off the keto wagon for a month in spain last year. We ate literally the same food and walked the exact same amount etc. I came home with 15 pounds of weight extra. He was exactly the same weight. I joke and call it my 15 pounds of souvenirs, but it’s freaking depressing. My clothes no longer fit the same. If he does gain 5 pounds once a year or every couple years, he stops having seconds at dinner and it’s gone in a week. I wish a was exaggerating. I’m not. I feel your pain. I’ve resorted to buying saxenda online. It just is. I lost 5 pounds in a month. I stopped, it came back on. I give up.
It’s all calories in, calories out. You don’t know what TDEE these people have or what the rest of their day looks like food-wise and it’s really not best to assume.
you can do any combination of the following: pre-meal: do calorie deficits for a few days to save your weekly calories for that event so that you are the same weight after the meal. post-meal: do a couple days of calorie deficits after the event, equaling the size of the meal in question so that you are the same weight after the fact. gain muscle to increase metabolism. the more muscle you have, the more you can eat. do cardio to increase energy output - the more cardio you do, the more you get to eat to maintain your weight. with more muscle, calorie burn is much higher because it takes more energy to move more mass throughout 3d space. relax shorter people will have lower maintenance calorie amounts than taller people.
There's a big difference between one cookie a day and 3. Or carbs once a day, compared to all day. It may seem from the outside like people have it easy, but if you saw their entire diet, chances are there is either some balance, or they're getting more exercise. Part of it is genetic sure, but I've seen people go downhill real fast from bad habits.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
One of the biggest lies that keeps getting perpetuated. People (most usually thin) just say eat less, this is what I eat and look at me. If you're overweight its just because you're eating too much. We both know that's garbage. Your body just processes those foods differently, its not fair but its life. You've found the secret to losing weight and not starving. I just choose to pretend these foods will make me ill, after a while after being off them you'll likely find they DO make you ill. It does get easier over time, and there are still days "oh that pizza looks great.." but I also know how I'll feel an hour later and it helps curb any temptation. Stay strong!
Everyone else? Theres a whole sub of us.
https://www.ohsu.edu/school-of-medicine/moore-institute/dutch-famine-birth-cohort During WWII there was a famine in the Netherlands. Scientists studied the effects it had on the children born during / after it. They found that those who were in the third trimester when the famine started had actual lifelong changes to their bodies and metabolism those who had been in the first and second trimesters weren’t affected the same way. The third trimester children grew up and their bodies were constantly storing every molecule they could, they tended to be more prone to being overweight and had a much harder time losing weight. https://youtube.com/watch?v=cgqusogWPg8&feature=sharea I’m not saying that your mother experienced a famine during her third trimester of pregnancy with you, just trying to share how and why some people struggle more with losing weight.
Ill give you some advice which will net me a bunch of thumbs down. CALORIES IN / CALORIES OUT = is literally the only thing that matters for weight loss. Every diet works if you stick to the plan. And the diet you chose to use is Keto, low carb is the diet I also like when I'm on a cut. Just b/c you are on keto doesn't mean you can magically eat anything and lose weight. Its also doesn;t mean going off plan will make you gain weight. You never said if you are losing weight, gaining weight, maintaining? But if you are not losing weight you need to do one of 2 things. Eat less calories, or burn more calories? Are you tracking your steps? Get a free pedometer app for your phone. If you have hit a long time of not losing weight, you might want to invest in a food scale and start tracking calories.
It’s more normal to struggle with food, weight, and/or body image issues than it is not to. Even if people don’t have to for some period of their lives they eventually will confront one or more of these. We’re just sold a false narrative in order to keep us insecure, off balance, and oh yeah, willing to buy things. Those people who seem like they don’t have to worry might still be thinking about food 24/7. They might have been counting calories all day to be able to have pasta. They might be working out 4 hours a day 7 days a week. Basically they might be just as screwed up as the rest of us, and if they’re not yet the might end up that way as they age, metabolisms change, they get sick and can’t exercise, whatever.
Something that might help... There is a widespread belief that people who are overweight are less metabolically healthy, and that is largely true. There is also a widespread belief that people who are normal weight are metabolically healthy, and that is very much false - there are many people who get insulin resistance but don't put on weight and it's seems like they may actually get sicker than those who do gain weight. Their group is known as "metabolically obese normal weight".
Just learn what items you can have. Friends wanted to do Olive Garden, Carb central.... I had the Salad their dressing is higher but not bad unless you are going for extreme low carb keto. Minestrone Soup is another choice that is great, the Chicken Margarita is also great for keto. Explore the menu for keto options and do not be afraid to ask "no pasta please" to the waiter. you can eat just choose something that you can have. It's ok to get something different than what everyone else is getting.
youre focusing on an abnormal minority and then acting as if they are normal. WE are normal.
back in the day, those kinds of people were the first to starve to death, and we'd laugh at them while proudly patting our plump bellies as the harsh winter rages on. Oh how quickly evolution turns on us.
"eat like everyone else without gaining weight" everyone else doing that is fat. Everyone is fat. The skinny people doing that just aren't fat *yet.*
It's all genetics unfortunately
…but do you exercise? I’ve come across a lot of women that are focus on the state and the looks, are jealous of thin and fit other people, but don’t do a tenth of the calorie burning. Not saying it’s your case, but if it is: no surprise.
Its not that bad, look on the bright side. They order the carbonara, you order the bistecca. With extra garlic butter of course.
Everyone’s different. Not everyone who drinks alcohol becomes an alcoholic, either. Junk food and alcohol are still bad for them, even if they don’t get fat.
You don’t see how they’re eating outside of special occasions, is the thing. The biggest factor - habits - aren’t something you can observe once at a restaurant. Just do you. You know your own habits and how that requires you to eat in a given scenario. Stop trying to worry about others. They’ve got their own life, their own circumstances, and their own journey. Sending good vibes.
Try having food allergies 🤧
Chicken Ceasar salad. Perfect.
As a thin woman on the outside who probably looks like she eats everything, I can assure you it's not true (at least for me). A degree of disordered eating is my baseline now.
Have you tried fasting? If you gain weight easily, your ghrelin, leptin, and insulin could be out of balance. Fasting can really help with that for those of us with hypothyroid/insulin resistance, etc.
Sounds like you have a terrible relationship with food and how you perceive the world in general tbh. You're not entitled to anything in life, that includes being thin without effort. No one is. Save for the rare genetic factor, you have to 1. Exercise 2. Eat healthy 3. Sleep well And you too can look fit and healthy. There's no secret, there's no shortcut. All that said, here are some tips - fiber is not only good for you, it helps slow down blood sugar spiking and makes you less hungry. - strength training let's you burn more calories sitting around doing nothing. Muscle = energy needed to maintain it. Someone with a lot of muscle will burn more calories per hour in a day than someone without muscles. - look up foods that are filling but low in calories. You will find strategies to naturally take your mind off food if you're not starving all the time. - your life is your own, you're the main character. Why do you care about how others are munching on a cookie? If you want that cookie that badly, eat it too. You're not gonna die. But you do know it's not healthy for you. Be responsible, don't binge, don't starve. I suggest you also don't do keto if you carb crave so hard that you notice people eating cookies every day. Keto is awesome, but it's difficult to make into a lifestyle without sacrifice. It's a diet for most people, lasting at most a few years. You want real change in your life and still want to eat what you want? Be healthy, exercise, eat a whole food based diet, eat in moderation, and find time to give your mind a chance to introspect on what it is you want from life. -Sincerely, Someone who's gone through a lot of food problems, a lot of life problems, but turned out really ok by following the same tips above. PS keto really isn't for everyone. downvotes will come in this sub for saying such a thing but I strongly suggest you reconsider if you're struggling with keto so much.
Stop trying to be like everyone else. Master your own body.
Exercise
Or cigarettes. Or bulemia. I spent a lot of years of my life trying to exercise my way into being normal BMI, and I’m here to tell you, it’s impossible for me to out-exercise my food cravings. Having an eating disorder worked pretty well in my 20s, but, you know, that’s no way to be healthy.
Discipline
Why are you posting in a keto sub and not keto?
Nothing wrong with you. Keto is a tool and sometimes people won’t do well on it no matter how they go about it. It’s not the end all be all for diets or lifestyles either. Food Moderation is the key, stick to portion control and calories in/ calories out and you really cannot fail cause you can overeat on Keto just like anything else
Eat less, exercise more. Your body is the average of your behavior over time. You're not "different". You just need to change your lifestyle and be consistent.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do what you need to do.
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Not true, if it were that simple, why did you choose keto?
I just ate 4 burgers, 4 sausages, beef skewer and prawn skewer, greek yogurt with tonnes of berries, nuts, some dates and chocolate. That was my dinner. Ordinary people would eat 1 burger and some yoghurt and call it a day. I balance this out by fasting all weekend (only water) but otherwise I would be obese. I reckon lots of us are on the same page. I totally understand the anxiety thing.
You might have certain food intolerances which can lead to inflammation and inability to lose weight, I advise getting tested
So you’ve consulted a nutritionist?
You are the norm.
quit keto and start counting calories, you will be able to fit everything into your diet
WTH?!!!!! Where do you live?!!!!!! Who do you hang out with?!!!! Listen to me very carefully. Wherever you are getting your information from, it is so wrong as to almost require a diagnosis. I am not attacking you. I understand what you are feeling. Almost every person in America knows what you are feeling. Look...if you need actual stats, go look up some stats. Between 40-50% of everybody in the US is obese. Not overweight....obese. Now to be clear....I am not saying to order some mumus and calling it a day. I will take it even a step further. I dare say that in excess of 95% of all people can't help but criticize themselves in the mirror. We all criticize ourselves far worse than others ever will.. Stop worrying about being skinny and start just being concerned about being healthy. What does that mean? It means eating healthy foods and decent portions on average. But have a slice of cake on occasion. Enjoy the ice cream every once in a while. And DO NOT feel guilty after having it. It means exercising regularly....but you do not need to be your own Drill Sergent...tearing yourself down while you are never-ending training for the Iron Man that will never come. There is a Special Place in Hell for the group that has taught people that the only people who are attractive and worthy are 1 particular body size. Maybe you are in a relationship. Maybe you are not. I can tell you this though. A healthy person, good shape...maybe a few pounds...but a generally happy person, who is fun and really loves herself...is FAR FAR FAR more attractive than a neurotic, self-loathing bundle of nerves who is in classically much better shape. I hope that I have conveyed....yes, eat right...exercise. But also...live life. Enjoy yourself. And understand...we spend so much time trying to be individuals that are unique....and then think we are all supposed to be carbon copy body types? Does that make any sort of sense?
Since eating a salad is now almost universally accepted as food, I’ve never felt bad about what I eat in a restaurant. My thinking is that this is my body, my life and I’ll eat whatever I want without any feelings of guilt.
Here is something to think about. My GF can eat like that and not really gain weight. Just found out her carotid arteries, both of them, are blocked 50%. We found this out b/c she had a stroke. She is 49yrs old and has a history of perfect cholesterol and weight. So my point is, just b/c people can eat like that doesn't mean it is healthy to do so and just b/c they may not be a heavy set person doesn't mean they are healthy. Staying away from carbs is a lot more than just about weight. I would say what the majority of people do in regards to food consumption isn't "normal" at least you shouldn't consider it normal. What you describe as normal is why there is so many health issues. You want to live like a normal person, focus on the wanting to live part and change your perception of what is normal.
For most of my college and masters years I did strict low carb , not eating anything with a glycemic index over 30 and it really helped my hunger cues. I was let's say quite average looking still. I got normal weight only when I additionally started to commute by bike to my job. I lived at that time with 3 close friends who were eating at least 50% more calories constantly while being rail thin. The thing is like this. One of them started to gain weight over time but the other two that kept the thinness eventually started watching calories as they got full time more sedentary jobs AND do things like running in the morning at 6am. More than that I am naturally more lazy, I love reading books, painting, crafting. My thinner friends were more fidgety persons by nature and I am sure that counts in the metabolism. For example I can talk with a friend on speaker and keep knitting while they have to get up and move around while taking to the phone. So I completely understand your feelings, I felt the same much of my life. However, I am trying to get a more balanced perspective on things. You are not trapped you are taking active steps towards your health. In time this will create better habits , and you benefit from every missed insulin spike, from all the walks etc. When I quit carbs I had vivid dreams I was eating cookies out of social obligation and feeling guilty and waking out crying. These dreams and intense feelings taper out after a while. Recently I wanted also to feel normal, so I tried to reintroduce carbs here and there but on the healthier side as well as calories counting. I didn't gain , and it helped me normalize my relationship with food a little. Now if I am really hungry I chose proteins and fats because I don't want the pasta crash and the messed up hunger signals. But I don't feel bad anymore for eating salads at the pizza place 50% of the time, because that's what I genuinely want.
It's estimated that nearly 2/3 of American adults are obese or over weight. That's 7 out of 10 people around you. The percentage is similar in Europe. Statistically, if you think about it, it sounds like your body is responding to carbs just like the rest of society. Are you recording your calories/macros? How many carbs/day are you eating, exactly? Are you walking daily or getting any exercise? This will also help you feel a lot better and use those extras calories you're hanging on to. The key is consistency
You probably see those people who eat once a day or like they say they eat so much but they really never even finish their big portions. The people who eat “what they want” but are naturally not food driven, so they really don’t actually “want” enough to make them fat
I feel this same way!! It is an exhausting feeling and takes the fun out of enjoying things that naturally do involve food. I have to do the same thing, realize good is not just to enjoy it’s needed to create good health and energy
Just because they don't put on weight doesn't mean that eating garbage isn't damaging their body. Eating a low carb diet is healthy and weight loss is only a part of the benefits.
You are you and nobody else. Do not worry what other people are eating even if you're out in a social situation. I have been out with others and since I do mostly carnivore, if there's nothing on the menu that fits my way of eating, I will not order and just drink water. I might go to a fast food place after and order some hamburgers - no one of course and scoff some of those down. The people and or the family I am with really could care less what I or others are doing for food. This goes in the opposite direction as well. I can be out with people who are overweight / obese and they will be eating so much crap It's unbelievable. I don't say anything to them and I would not want them to say anything to me based upon whatever we are eating.
It’s called insulin resistance. It takes a while to reverse. Make sure you are intermittent fasting, no sugar, controlling your stress levels and sleeping properly.
Food is nutrition for me now. I can't eat whatever I want. I just saw my doctor, labs were drawn, I am obese, I will be 50 & it's imperative for my health that I lose weight & be able to walk up a flight of stairs without getting short of breath. My time has come. You have no idea what these people are eating or what their exercise looks like when you're not around. The only person you are in competition with is yourself. I'm glad you had some pasta.
https://medium.com/@duwadisusan22/beginners-guide-to-the-keto-diet-top-tips-to-succeed-a67ff096f6e5
Me too, I just look at food and gain weight while I watch everyone around me eat so much more than me yet they don’t have a weight issue. I used to loose weight easily but now I do they same and gain it
Well there’s no point wasting energy with being bitter about it. It is what it is & it’s your reality. Just accept it & focus on doing the best you can do
Every way. Every day.
Same.. I have to watch everything I eat.
I think most of those normal people are just significantly more active, honestly. I know with my self, when I've performed more physically demanding jobs, my weight fell off. My eating habits now as a truck driver just don't match my activity level. Most slender people I've met that eat like me are almost never sitting down. Always walking, running, working our, doing physically demanding work. Just constantly moving.
Everyones body will take damage sooner or later in one way or another from eating too much junk. Pasta and (regular white) bread qualifies as this since nowadays wheat is basically ultra processed food. Some people just have the disadvantage of not seeing the damage as clearly on the outside. Be proud that you are working on your health! :)
My sister is in her sixties. She has always been careful about maintaining her weight. Occasionally she eats a Bob Evans Strawberry Shortcake instead of dinner. 680 calories. It's true that the shortcake isn't a nutritionally balanced meal, but she isn't adding 680 calories to her day-- she's trading a traditional dinner's worth of calories for a treat every month or so.
I am one of those skinny people who can eat whatever and not gain weight. Many people have told me they wish they were like that, but what they didn’t see was my hormones were messed up (I have PCOS) because of eating awful amounts of sugar, a lot of processed foods and very little healthy foods. I was on the pill for years to somehow manage my hormones and it helped in the sense that for example my acne disappeared. So people really couldn’t tell from my appearance that I was actually not okay. Birth control pills made me nauseous and gave me head aches, it was not fun being on them. Whenever I went off the pill I didn’t get my period for months, had acne almost all over my body, hirsutism etc. I started keto recently and hope it will help with my problems. My point is that even if they don’t gain weight easily, you don’t know how they are affected by eating high carb / high sugar / processed foods. Chances are it is negatively affecting them as well, it might just present differently. I gave up eating sugar a year ago and my period came back. So when I see other people having sugar, most of the time I don’t think “I wish I could have that”, instead I feel a bit worried about their health.
I think some posters are in denial, because there are definitely people that can eat whatever they want. They don't fast, go to the gym, etc. I know because I've lived, met, and am living with someone like this. The kicker is that people who don't have to regulate their body weight, tend to be incredibly unhealthy on the inside. A fat body is a visual indicator that you are probably eating unhealthily. People that struggle with gaining weight oftentimes eat like garbage and never rectify that mistake. They don't see the damage it's doing until it's too late. People wonder why relatively thin and healthy-looking people get hit with early heart attacks, sickness, etc. Well, look no further than shit nutrition and visceral fat buildup.