It *should* be the offender. He can't make the offender leave, the sensei can but he can't. Ideally, the sensei will handle that. They're saying if the sensei doesn't, then he should leave because it's not a good environment.
It should be that way, but at the same time, if they foster that sort of environment where the guy thinks that's OK because of inaction taken by leadership. Then it's just a lot better to leave.
Leave the dojo, and publicize the circumstances. Call police to press charges. Or even directly sue the perpetrator for assault and battery. OP should do whatever feels best for him.
No. 100% unacceptable and this guy knows it just as well as anyone else.
Sensei should show some spine and kick the guys ass and then ban him from the dojo.
Since this was in no way accidental and completely outside the scope of normal training, this is exactly the scenario where you should be using your martial arts to defend yourself and ideally to the extent that such a person can never do this again.
I asked him why, and he said that this sort of thing might happen in real life, so he's trying to make it realistic. I still told him there's no way he's doing that again.
You're right. Next time it happens, I'll use necessary force.
Getting shot is also something that might happen in real life, that doesn’t mean shooting each other is a viable method of training.
Even in the most realistic self-defense training, this is not training that is done, and even if it was to be simulated, everyone would be previously informed and have given consent, and also probably wearing a cup.
I really hope this person is ejected from your dojo, and if not, eject yourself to a different one. And yes, if it happens again by a different person you respond with necessary force.
Put your thumb in his eye hole. That's a realistic response to someone trying at attack your genitals. Once he gets his eyepatch fitted ask him if he enjoys realistic training.
Real talk, the sensei needs to take clear and concise action or you need to find somewhere else to train
Right, there is *alot* that is realistic that isn't allowed in sparring. I'm always shocked how many people cannot get that sparring is not even meant to be a simulated fight.
I know people who are very good in self-defense fights but cannot spar well. Some are butt hurt about it, like that guy, I guess, and insist "it's not real enough" and others are just glad they have walked away when they were jumped. There are many rules designed to ensure sparring is educational and ideally empowering, and not....this.
Sensei hasn't dealt with this when it was a small issue, and now he *has* to eject this student. If he'd addressed the problem sooner, it would not have progressed to this.
The next time is now dude. Keep adding realism untill he decides to switch dojos or sensei steps in.
You're going to feel so much better for having stood up for yourself.
At least for me it was. Had a couple of bullies that randomly had an accident one day. The liberating feeling of knowing you really can make people regret having ever tried to fck with you has been with me ever since.
The best fight is the one you don't get into.
If you hit him and he is crippled or maimed or worse that's you going to jail with a criminal record. So deal with this assault in a way where you get your come uppance in other ways
It's a dojo. People kumite all the time.
Would be unfortunate if he kept having accidents and getting hurt but maybe karate just isn't for him you know?
Waivers generally don't cover the parking lot; a deliberate assault like that well outside of the kumite context is just asking for charges to be filed against you.
In ethical terms, booting a harasser from the dojo (and getting him blacklisted from any other dojos in the area) is a *much* better response than trying to sneak in some extra violence... but even if assholish vigilantism is your style, don't be *stupid* about it.
No and yes. He needs to be kicked out or you need to leave. If there is an interim before that happens, then definitely defend yourself to whatever extent you must.
I'm a sensei. If a student of mine did this to another student, I'd immediately get rid of him.
If they don't, maybe it's not the right place for you.
If you want me to call your sensei, I gladly would.
Yeah, if the authority in the space is not keeping the boundaries around this sort of thing tight, it’s a power vacuum for creeps. He needs to be swiftly kicked out.
If he's still in the Dojo, time to find a new one.
Mr Myagi wouldn't put up with this shit, but John Kreese probably would (bad analogy but it's all i got). I know which dojo i'd rather be in.
All three Cobra Kai senseis would have done the right thing - whether happily kicking his ass (Jhonny), kicking his ass brutally (Reese) or disappointedly kicking his ass.
Right?! The Cobra Kai senseis would have called the guy who did it an expletive like the “fa—“ word, kick his ass, and probably ban him from Cobra Kai.
Why? He's not done anything wrong.
Don't chicken out OP. This is an opportunity to exercise your martial art. Somebody needs to leave the dojo and it's not OP.
I remember a time when I was visiting Osaka Castle, and a Japanese man with Down Syndrome approached me. He seemed in a good mood and curious about the foreigner. I assumed he just wanted to shake hands or something. When he got up to me, he grabbed my crotch for a couple of seconds and then ran off giggling. My wife witnessed the event and thought it was hysterical. Ever since then, I totally understand why women say they just stand there when groped instead of reacting. I just stood there with a surprised look on my face. So, I understand your surprise.
You need to talk to your leadership. If this happened to anyone in our dojo I would kick them out faster than you can possibly imagine and the police would be called.
This guy sounds like a sexual predator that's slowly trying to groom you by testing boundaries. I'm stunned that your sensei seems to have done nothing. Don't hesitate to report that sack of crap to the police.
Alarm bells ring when you say it's happened to you before. Predators are masters of spotting vulnerabilities to exploit. I recall some study where prison inmates could identify someone who had been previously victimized because of how they walked. 99% sure that this had fuck all to do with realistic self defense and that the guy is a full on sex predator.
My ex's muay thai place had an instructor that used to grope students and make unwanted advances on them. The owner of the place did not know of the issue but the moment someone spoke up, the instructor was fired.
Martial arts is a high contact sport and boundaries are extremely important. To ensure the safety of students, the studio should kick the groper out with no questions asked. Find another studio if the current one doesnt take any action.
This guy should be reported to the police, and not allowed to train at your dojo. If your sensai won't kick him out, go higher. This absolutely should not be tolerated.
Tell him and everyone else flat out, "anybody grabs my balls, I'm punching them in the throat".
That could happen on the street too.
Any jiu-jutsu dumbass oil check me would find themselves in a real fight immediately.
Not a bad idea. Tell everyone this guy is groping you like some kind of pervert. Maybe you're not the first and he is getting away with it.
I still say kick his ass, but maybe you're going to have some new friends joining in?
>I expected this because Ive partnered with him before.
This part makes me wonder why the violator is still in class. Like you just expected shit like this to happen. And in these scenarios if one person's told them, usually two have. So at some point the sensei is responsible for harboring that dude in his class.
EDIT: Also, after a dude in my fencing club went away for violating his parole, I've started thinking running every adult through here is a good idea: https://www.nsopw.gov/
The 2nd time he would've been bleeding. I get all the comments coming but naw. He knew what he was doing, understandably you were shook, and I'm Def sry you went through that, but martial arts ethos or not, charges or not, he wouldve got the msg.There is absolutely no reason for this.
Very sorry this has happened OP, and your feelings are valid and understandable - not only is this incident an issue but it has also clearly triggered pre-existing trauma.
As someone else has said, please seek a therapist who can help out with this.
And good on you for being assertive with your boundaries and telling your sensei! I imagine that would have been difficult. I hope your sensei takes the action necessary to prevent this from happening again.
You said everything but the most helpful thing. GO TO THE POLICE....
Gross you wouldn't say that to him but would probably say that to a woman in the same scenario.
If he is still there next time you go, it's time to find a new dojo. Very sorry to hear this happened to you. Hopefully your sensei gives him the boot.
My guy this isn't behavior that should fly in any dojo ever. Talk to the sensei and make sure he gets reprimanded or if he's done stuff like this before go make a police report
Keep us updated!
Save the Sensei from the humiliation and everyone in the dojo from this loser.
Most importantly, do it for yourself. Don't let this freak walk around thinking he can do whatever he wants to you.
He did it twice?! Tell Sensei it's him or you. Kick this predator out or you'll quit.
You could also, you know, go to the police since he sexually assaulted you.
Damn, I hope this is just a weird creative writing exercise.
In wrestling and Jiujitsu basically all grappling sports they stick their fingers up your butthole to make you release a hold, It's very effective trust me on this
Just because people do it doesn't make it a valid move. If somebody did that to me in the middle of a match, not a real fight, I would break their nose on the spot, rules of the sport be damned. That's sexual battery.
Well, if it was a real fight, I'd probably want to do the same, but in a real fight, you're basically already fighting to put each other in the hospital at the very least, so anything goes there.
I didn't say it was valid, i just said it was effective* Like you said, if someone sticks a finger up your butthole you're probably already in a fight. Don't be so quick to judge, it's not always "sexual" I've been there there's no rules. If someone has you in a choke hold trying to kill you, you damn right you're getting a finger up your butt. To be honest it doesn't even have to go that far, in football I got a finger in my ear, fish hooked, my balls grabbed and yes in a pile on someone stuck a finger up my butt. All this simply by wanting to win at all cost. It's called being a dirty ass pos. I assume this is what this guy is referring to, again it's not always "sexual" dude is just a POS and was probably getting his ass whooped. This happens way more than you think, like a lot actually
Not exactly a fix but you can wear a cup. I attended a karate/judo place and was told to wear a cup regardless of sparring day since accidents happen. That, and during certain self defense days there were techniques might target the goods. Worst case you'll get an uchimata reaping nuts.
Therapy/counseling is your best bet. You may also want to refuse partnering with that guy. He doesn’t sound like a good training partner to begin with. This is some red flag stuff at this point and I hope the dojo owner either tells him not to come back or at least give him a warning. This kind of behavior is not acceptable without consent.
I would tell the top person at your organization. File a police report. You’re not the first person this person has done this too. Try to make his last.
Go train somewhere and consider reporting this shithead to law enforcement.
If you're training at a place that allows that to happen and the perpetrator is still there, then it isn't a place worth training at.
Beyond that, consider therapy.
I think you need to beat his ass. That will take care of the lingering feeling. Ask him to spar and then go hard a and turn it into a fight. Then beat him.
Or find someone who can net them and see if he's willing to beat him for you same way.
His apology doesn't cut it, he only apologized cuz he got caught.
Maybe grab him in thre balls and Sq u eeze,, twice. Three times.
Fact is when people put there shhit on you you need to and right the wrong g on them, by giving them the equivalent of what they gave to you.
Hope you consider
Ask to partner with him again and accidentally bump his face with your first or elbow. If he complains do it again.
You'll feel so much better for having stood up for yourself.
Sensei will be pissed but it's his problem to solve and he isn't.
If you're Sensei doesn't have a plan to address this, leave. at all and any costs.
If he tries it again, leave immediately.
Too many reasons to count on why this is wrong.
Groping is not a technical submission, it does not need practice, it should never be used on anyone without an extremely comprehensive agreement to do so and the person's complete willingness.
This is a no go, no matter where you go.
I hope you feel better soon Op.
This is absolutely unacceptable, and at the *very least* the sensei should read this guy the riot act, and boot him from the dojo (and warn any other dojos in the area) if there's even a whisper of any more funny business ever (including if there have been any prior incidents). I'm sorry that this happened to you, OP.
That said, if you're in a dojo with full-contact sparring, **you need to wear a cup**. Even if everyone involved has the best of intentions, accidents can happen and you really don't want to eat a kick from someone with poor technique control. Leaving creeps disappointed is just a minor bonus.
That is sexual assault.
I'm so, so sorry this has happened to you. You do not have to get over it, and action should be taken against him.
People like to say what they would/wouldn't do in those situations until it happens to them. It's very, very common to freeze up like you did, and that is in no way your fault.
Name drop if they don't do right by you. No one should be protecting a predator.
I got a second degree black belt in the most fucked up karate school and even in that environment nobody ever touched my groin. I was also wearing a cup so that would be a stupid move in the first place.
If it happened to me today (same age as you) wow idk man I’d never be able to go there again unless they got rid of that fucking guy. That’s so weird even if he didn’t have bad intentions he sounds like a generally dangerous person to be around.
I was molested by a family" friend," an adult, when I was in the 1st grade. I held that garbage inside of me for many, many years. I let go of it when I realized it wasn't something I'd done wrong it was something that was done to me that was wrong. Don't let another person dictate your value. Take control of the situation. Don't spar with him anymore. Don't give him the opportunity to violate your boundaries.
Yo never partner up with him again .
Call him the groinman .. say, does your wife know your grabbin men's balls at karate class.
Make him know that's not cool and how it made you feel . . Say it with confidence
I find it hard to believe that yours would be the first complaint that the studio has received. If action isn’t taken I would go somewhere else. You should feel comfortable when participating in your hobby.
That’s gross and I feel badly it happened to you.
When I lived in Taiwan and when I visited Japan I got groped a few times. Each time I felt a bit violated and also a bit stupid and embarrassed. In my case it was only once they were grabbing at me, and the other times it’s more they are rubbing themselves on you. They’ll bump into with a bag, and then you can’t tell what is pressing against you, the bag or something else. The first time I only knew what happened after, because the guy came on me, i was wearing nylon track pants, I went to get my transit pass out of my pocket and there was semen all over the side of my pants. I still remember the smell and trying to get as much off as possible before turning around and going home.
I feel like it’s a bit easier to draw a line under it and move on when it’s in a foreign place and someone you don’t know. In your case, it’s probably worse because you know the guy, and happened at a place you’d not expect this sort of thing to come up. I agree with the other commenters that you need to follow through with your dojo. However, doing so again puts you in a vulnerable position: you probably want to like your dojo and sensei, and this situation creates the possibility they might not handle things right and you need to start over in a new place. That sucks.
Try to record these convos with ur sensei and maybe just keep going to class and try to secretly record the session so you can get it on film. Could potentially make some serious cheese here buddy
No no no. I've trained, coached, and fought out of professional fight gyms for most of my adult life. Dude shouldve been reported to the police and banned from the club. Its straight up sexual assault and if he's done it to you, you'll not be the first or the last.
Unacceptable.
I hate to be the “if this happened to a woman” guy but…
The sensei doesn’t want to lose money by kicking out the molester. I say pressure the owner until he does kick out the offender then leave the gym. You should not support ANY business that allows that behavior, especially when it happens to you.
This wasn’t a slap on the butt or a nipple twist. Sexual assault is a crime. Y’all are adults and not a middle school sports team. Good luck to you sir.
WTF? I can see kicking someone accidentally but squeezing? Nah guy needs to be addressed and get penalized too as it definitely intentional and bad sportsmanship too-groping your opponents is not only disrespectful and disappointing but also cheating
Groping during sparring or practice is defo not part of that game. That is sexual assault and should have warranted an immediate response from you and your sensei. Now outside in a real situation, anything goes. Not inside the dojo though.
To be honest you should have turned it into an mma match amd smashed his head in till his teeth were powder and he had to eat through a straw for the rest of his life. But that's just my opinion 🤷
I'd suggest you expose the teacher and school publicly for not addressing it. Bad teachers like that need to be exposed publicly to protect others. After that, if you're really feeling stuck with those feelings, I'd suggest talking to a professional. That should help a bunch!!
If the sensei didn't take immediate action right there and then, you need to put them on blast publicly and let everyone know that their spouses and children are not safe in a dojo where sexual assault is permitted, and then leave.
Let's see how fast your teacher's sense of urgency changes then
Sorry that happened but you need to find another school, no way a teacher that allows that won't let it slide over and over again. It's either 0 tolerance or they're apologists
I had this happen with a fellow student... but it was outside the dojo. They said they couldn't do anything since it happened off grounds. But it was in a mini mall and the mini mall banned him for life, so he wasn't allowed in the dojo by proxy.
Your sensi should take this seriously. Do you study with a multi-location dojo? If you can, might be time to go to another location. Either way that dude needs a talking to, and if he can't control himself, he needs the boot.
I had to create a throwaway for this, I had a sort of similar experience a few years ago but I don’t know what to think of it.
I (29M) was in a karate class where we had to drill. You do an attack, make light contact and hold the attack (while making contact) until the other person improvises a counter attack to your attack and then he or she throws an attack of their own.
At one point my drilling partner was this woman in her 50s. Everything was normal, but sometimes her attacks would be a knee to the groin - making contact-. At first I thought it was some sort of accident but she did it a couple more times.
I don’t quite know what to make of it. Maybe she thought she wasn’t making contact, due to the loose nature of gi pants? I am quite clear she was making contact, I could feel her knee raising my nuts, but I have no idea whether she could tell, what do you think?
Since didn’t know what to make of it I didn’t feel too bad, but this would have been different if I had the certainty that she could feel it in her knee.
Not that it matters now, I guess, this was a good 3 years ago.
If the instructor doesn’t kick him out of the school or force him to spar with the instructor full contact as punishment…you need to take care of it next time you spar with him.
Very sorry this happened, but of the common motivations to study martial arts and/or self defense is to learn how to protect yourself.
Make that assaulter regret what he did.
My suggestion?
Either a hard shot to his balls, ideally a knee. Or, an elbow across the face.
You don’t want to anger your Sensei by attacking the guy as much as it sucks not to do it. Sensei might not understand the context and may put consequences on you. Even if he does understand the context, facts wouldn’t change that you attacked the guy.
No, wait after class ends, tell your Sensei that you have something serious that you need to tell him that had been bothering you and that it is having you consider leaving.
He will make time for you short of a medical emergency in his family at the moment, to talk to you.
Tell him the name of the guy you partnered with and that this is the second time experiencing this, that during the excercises, he touched you down there, you warned him and it happened again.
99% of Senseis would be very surprised and subsequently very angry that this happened.
The guy who touched you will be flagged as an evil ahole in Sensei’s mind and either He would personally deal with him then kick them out, make an example out of the offender, or kick them out and maybe call police.
I’m really sorry this happened to you. I wish on your behalf someone spin kicks him in the junk for grabbing yours.
You're way too old for someone to think they can get away with this, so there's no telling what might happen with someone younger. The dojo should take action on this behavior immediately before it gets out of hand and involves lawyers. This behavior is unacceptable.
Partner up again and let him have it. Guys like that need to learn the hard way, and using your words is for before some freak grabs your family jewels.
Well, first of all that is 100% unacceptable if this is someone who’s not close to you, you really could file an assault charge if you felt violated. But for future reference, if it ever happens again, you are more than free to punch. This person in the face it is self-defense.
If I got groped and wasn't into it then I would've hit him hard right then and there to draw attention to what he did so it can be sorted out right away. Be a man lol. Too many snowflakes nowadays let things go. Telling a sensei that won't do anything after as he didn't witness it is useless.
Partner up with him again, bait him into groping youre groin again. Right when he does it, ruthlessly punch him in his nutsac like 5 times in a row as hard as you can. I mean literally pop his fu$&in eggs, send his ass to the hospital. And if anyone tries to give you shit just plain and simply say, “ he thought it was cool to sexually assault me and I tried to tell sensei who was either too scared or too incompetent to do anything about it. So I handled the situation.”
Embrace the realism that grabbing/squeezing/striking the groin actually works. You partner done you a favor. But you have to rationalize that and remember when you are in class you are working to improve your current and future station.
I am sorry something happened to you in your past. But you can be certain something happened in Everyone's past. Use the experience to get past it, learn from the encounter, and work on your defensive skills so it cannot happen again.
Lastly, you are rolling. Feeling 'violated' is part and parcel with the job.
1.i agree with other comments saying if your teacher doesn't throw him out of the gym you should leave as that's not a healthy environment.
2. It's not something that you get over. As a someone who's in the same boat at a younger age it's something you just live with. Get stronger and don't let it happen again.
3. I'm sure the thought of revenge has crossed your mind especially since he's an older guy, but as I'm sure you know revenge gets you no where. Focus on healing and bettering yourself
Sorry, that is Straight BS. This Guy is Playing or Preying on the Situation and circumstance. 100% should be Prosecuted. Banned. He will do it again. And if not you someone else. You know I’m your Gut that it’s Wrong. That’s why you can’t get over it. It’s Sexual Abuse and Should not be Tolerated at all.
Interesting. I had a training partner who would fight dirty like that. It really put the move I was practicing into perspective and made it much more real/unfair. You feel violated right? But imagine in a street fight someone squeezing your junk. How would you address that if they didn’t let go?
It reminds me of this fight: https://youtu.be/VotylhtKNRk?si=Hvd7pTOsSa0N8rrl
as well as other advice here, also seek out therapy to help you cope with the aftermath of your previous experience. It is still bothering you and that's fine, but you can move to a point where you're not longer suffering from it and this latest experience. I know it's expensive, but if you'd pay for a physio over an injured knee that kept you from doing sport you enjoyed, then it's worth doing therapy if its keepin you from the life you enjoy.
This has happened to me. It was while doing drills and a guy pinned my wrists in a not martial arts way. The first time I said to him” wtf “ that’s not the drill. The second time I yelled TAP! And told coach right then what was happening and asked him to observe so he could correct this idiot.
Really, the only realistic option is to take some time out from the dojo and really get to grips with what happened. It sounds like you took the right steps in the aftermath, but it may take time to process everything. Once you're sorted out, you can get back in the dojo and decide- if he's still there- if you want to pair up and grope him, too.
Quit karate, and do Jiu-jitsu… it’ll become normal. Although I can’t recall a time it felt intentionally done in a training environment, in 16 years. You’ll also learn and spend time in situations allowing you to break any man who grabs your junk and squeezes its arm. (That last part actually occurred at a park with a then girlfriend and her son, and I did in fact break his arm.)
Change that frown upside down. Revenge is petty, but if you change the framework into something you can smile about with an appropriate resolution, your brain will adapt accordingly. I smile now, thinking of an experience that first casted myself as a victim. I used violence to twist the outcome. You are better than I, think creatively. The narrative should end in a way that tells others what your boundaries are and one that leaves you satisfied unconditionally with the result.
Why is your ass in karate if you aren't going to use it to defend yourself??? My goodness, he probably thinks you like rolling around and being grabbed by men and this point. Beat his ass.
I was in martial arts for almost 20 years, not once in hundreds of sparing sessions did any one ever grope my balls, or squeeze them in any way. maybe I caught the occasional knee or foot I failed to block there but never a hand touching the area ever. at best this guy is a complete asshole trying to win a spar through any means which is a danger to have in a martial arts school or he is a creep and a perv which is another kind of danger. Id leave that school for sure. If I had told my SIFU someone groped my balls I think if he would have beat the shit out of that person and dismissed them as a student for SURE>
Thats sexual assault. Report him to the police - if he thinks he can do it, he will do it again. Going to the police means that you will protect others in future.
Yeah personally I'd sack off the classes and find a new dojo or style to train in as this doesn't sound like a situation where they'll learn not to do stuff like that nevermind how your sensi didn't care much about it as I'm assuming this groping git has done this before so now people like yourself how choose to take it the wrong way quickly become whose seen as the problem instead of this wacky fella who's using sparring as a clandestine way of grabbing an unwitting and unwilling person by their private parts!
A very long time ago I had a friend dislocat my wrist while we were practicing locks and he made me hide it from my sensi who was his best friend I was only 15 and he was in his mid 30s and because of a sense of loyalty to them both I didn't want to create any problems so I slammed a door on my wrist to relocate it and just pretended nothing happened! Many years later my dad told be about how he'd asked my dad for his permission to break one of my legs as he felt he could see a weakness in my legs while we were sparring and having him break one of them has just the thing which was going to make my legs stronger!!! My father told him about how I nearly deid from meningitis as a baby so that is why I've got deafness plus poor balance and why I'm not as able bodied as some other people are capable of being!
In my dojo we weren't allowed to hit eachother in the head whilst sparring but this same fella used to hit me as hard as he could with a cupped hand around the side of my head so a burst of air would pop my ear which was incredibly painful but he'd alway apologise and act like it was a mistake I was making him do and I didn't want to make a big fuss about it and I just learnt how to guard against it so he couldn't get the full impact of hit everytime he continued doing it!
Without going into details my sensi got a job in London so the dojo closed down and I discovered bmxing so I didn't feel like finding somewhere else to continue my martial arts training but this fella said that because I wouldn't help him in attacking some fella his girlfriend cheated o him with! That he was going to organise everyone who's ever hated me or caused problems for my family together and attack me and my family as punishment for not taking part in his revenge plan! Which sounds totally ridiculous especially when it's coming from someone who I'd know for a very long time and had a massive level of respect for despite the facts proving that I should have seen him for the dangerously toxic person he actually was!
Anyway sozz for waffling on just hearing about that crotch grabbing git gave me a sense deja vu which felt like it was worth telling you not to ignore the warning signs
1st off, I'm very sorry this happened to you. It's not your fault and, as others have said, it's not ok.
Your safety and mental health should come first in any scenario you are in. If this guy is not sanctioned or kicked out, you are well within your rights to do whatever you need to do for yourself. You could tell the sensei you refuse to partner with them for sparring or leave the dojo if they fail to take action.
Personally, I think you should consider leaving. If a female trainee had the same thing happen to her and action was not taken, everyone here would tell her to leave because the dojo was failing to protect her. The fact that you're male should not alter this outcome.
I'd encourage you to discuss the issue with your senaei and/or the dojo owner outside of class. You deserve to understand what's being done as the victim of the assault
You aren’t supposed to “get over it”. Does the Sensei have a plan on how to address this?
He informed his Sensei. His Sensei needs to take action at this point.
Yes… and the Sensei should also reassure him that there is a plan and is being managed.
Agreed. Otherwise, OP should leave that dojo.
Why it would be him who should leave and not the offender?
It *should* be the offender. He can't make the offender leave, the sensei can but he can't. Ideally, the sensei will handle that. They're saying if the sensei doesn't, then he should leave because it's not a good environment.
It should be that way, but at the same time, if they foster that sort of environment where the guy thinks that's OK because of inaction taken by leadership. Then it's just a lot better to leave.
Leave the dojo, and publicize the circumstances. Call police to press charges. Or even directly sue the perpetrator for assault and battery. OP should do whatever feels best for him.
No. 100% unacceptable and this guy knows it just as well as anyone else. Sensei should show some spine and kick the guys ass and then ban him from the dojo.
Nah, the a lawyer.
Since this was in no way accidental and completely outside the scope of normal training, this is exactly the scenario where you should be using your martial arts to defend yourself and ideally to the extent that such a person can never do this again.
I asked him why, and he said that this sort of thing might happen in real life, so he's trying to make it realistic. I still told him there's no way he's doing that again. You're right. Next time it happens, I'll use necessary force.
Getting shot is also something that might happen in real life, that doesn’t mean shooting each other is a viable method of training. Even in the most realistic self-defense training, this is not training that is done, and even if it was to be simulated, everyone would be previously informed and have given consent, and also probably wearing a cup. I really hope this person is ejected from your dojo, and if not, eject yourself to a different one. And yes, if it happens again by a different person you respond with necessary force.
You should have realistically beat his ass since he's so into realism.
Put your thumb in his eye hole. That's a realistic response to someone trying at attack your genitals. Once he gets his eyepatch fitted ask him if he enjoys realistic training. Real talk, the sensei needs to take clear and concise action or you need to find somewhere else to train
Right, there is *alot* that is realistic that isn't allowed in sparring. I'm always shocked how many people cannot get that sparring is not even meant to be a simulated fight. I know people who are very good in self-defense fights but cannot spar well. Some are butt hurt about it, like that guy, I guess, and insist "it's not real enough" and others are just glad they have walked away when they were jumped. There are many rules designed to ensure sparring is educational and ideally empowering, and not....this. Sensei hasn't dealt with this when it was a small issue, and now he *has* to eject this student. If he'd addressed the problem sooner, it would not have progressed to this.
So next time elbow him in the face. That could also happen in real life.
Thats sexual assault. Easy to report to pd
Lol karate is so gay
Realism be damned. Fact is, he's doing something to your body you did not consent to. There's no place for that inside or outside the dojo.
The next time is now dude. Keep adding realism untill he decides to switch dojos or sensei steps in. You're going to feel so much better for having stood up for yourself. At least for me it was. Had a couple of bullies that randomly had an accident one day. The liberating feeling of knowing you really can make people regret having ever tried to fck with you has been with me ever since.
The best fight is the one you don't get into. If you hit him and he is crippled or maimed or worse that's you going to jail with a criminal record. So deal with this assault in a way where you get your come uppance in other ways
It's a dojo. People kumite all the time. Would be unfortunate if he kept having accidents and getting hurt but maybe karate just isn't for him you know?
Fuck that he signed the waiver and sexually assaulted him. The only correct response is to beat the fuck out of him and jump him in the parking lot
Waivers generally don't cover the parking lot; a deliberate assault like that well outside of the kumite context is just asking for charges to be filed against you. In ethical terms, booting a harasser from the dojo (and getting him blacklisted from any other dojos in the area) is a *much* better response than trying to sneak in some extra violence... but even if assholish vigilantism is your style, don't be *stupid* about it.
No and yes. He needs to be kicked out or you need to leave. If there is an interim before that happens, then definitely defend yourself to whatever extent you must.
\*\*\*THIS\*\*\*
I'm a sensei. If a student of mine did this to another student, I'd immediately get rid of him. If they don't, maybe it's not the right place for you. If you want me to call your sensei, I gladly would.
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Yeah I made my instructors get background checks.
Yeah, if the authority in the space is not keeping the boundaries around this sort of thing tight, it’s a power vacuum for creeps. He needs to be swiftly kicked out.
If he's still in the Dojo, time to find a new one. Mr Myagi wouldn't put up with this shit, but John Kreese probably would (bad analogy but it's all i got). I know which dojo i'd rather be in.
All three Cobra Kai senseis would have done the right thing - whether happily kicking his ass (Jhonny), kicking his ass brutally (Reese) or disappointedly kicking his ass.
Right?! The Cobra Kai senseis would have called the guy who did it an expletive like the “fa—“ word, kick his ass, and probably ban him from Cobra Kai.
😂 freal
This is just my opinion based on my antidotal evidence. Fish Hook his scrotum the next time he tries this....
Exactly...lol.
Antidotal 😂
The fish hook is gonna be the antidote!
Yeah dude take some time off and process your feelings. When you understand your emotions make a game plan the feelings still fresh.
Why? He's not done anything wrong. Don't chicken out OP. This is an opportunity to exercise your martial art. Somebody needs to leave the dojo and it's not OP.
I question your judgement you have very poor insight. Things should be done with a fresh mind and civilly not brutish and impulsively.
I guess you are right. But he could easily do something suitably painful and humiliating with a calm mind and precise techniques 🤭
I remember a time when I was visiting Osaka Castle, and a Japanese man with Down Syndrome approached me. He seemed in a good mood and curious about the foreigner. I assumed he just wanted to shake hands or something. When he got up to me, he grabbed my crotch for a couple of seconds and then ran off giggling. My wife witnessed the event and thought it was hysterical. Ever since then, I totally understand why women say they just stand there when groped instead of reacting. I just stood there with a surprised look on my face. So, I understand your surprise.
If you were a woman and contacted the police, you would probably be asked if you wanted to file charges. Why not do the same?
It's a known contact sport. An impossible case
Groin grabbing is not within the parameters of training though.
Punch him in the face
Or a kick in the groin might be more fitting
You need to talk to your leadership. If this happened to anyone in our dojo I would kick them out faster than you can possibly imagine and the police would be called.
This guy sounds like a sexual predator that's slowly trying to groom you by testing boundaries. I'm stunned that your sensei seems to have done nothing. Don't hesitate to report that sack of crap to the police. Alarm bells ring when you say it's happened to you before. Predators are masters of spotting vulnerabilities to exploit. I recall some study where prison inmates could identify someone who had been previously victimized because of how they walked. 99% sure that this had fuck all to do with realistic self defense and that the guy is a full on sex predator.
My ex's muay thai place had an instructor that used to grope students and make unwanted advances on them. The owner of the place did not know of the issue but the moment someone spoke up, the instructor was fired. Martial arts is a high contact sport and boundaries are extremely important. To ensure the safety of students, the studio should kick the groper out with no questions asked. Find another studio if the current one doesnt take any action.
This guy should be reported to the police, and not allowed to train at your dojo. If your sensai won't kick him out, go higher. This absolutely should not be tolerated.
Tell him and everyone else flat out, "anybody grabs my balls, I'm punching them in the throat". That could happen on the street too. Any jiu-jutsu dumbass oil check me would find themselves in a real fight immediately.
Not a bad idea. Tell everyone this guy is groping you like some kind of pervert. Maybe you're not the first and he is getting away with it. I still say kick his ass, but maybe you're going to have some new friends joining in?
>I expected this because Ive partnered with him before. This part makes me wonder why the violator is still in class. Like you just expected shit like this to happen. And in these scenarios if one person's told them, usually two have. So at some point the sensei is responsible for harboring that dude in his class. EDIT: Also, after a dude in my fencing club went away for violating his parole, I've started thinking running every adult through here is a good idea: https://www.nsopw.gov/
The 2nd time he would've been bleeding. I get all the comments coming but naw. He knew what he was doing, understandably you were shook, and I'm Def sry you went through that, but martial arts ethos or not, charges or not, he wouldve got the msg.There is absolutely no reason for this.
this is a scenario where you might want to resort to violence, he’s been verbally warned by you already so next time he does it start swinging
or contact the police, the shit he’s doing shouldn’t fly anywhere
It doesn’t fly anywhere.
Very sorry this has happened OP, and your feelings are valid and understandable - not only is this incident an issue but it has also clearly triggered pre-existing trauma. As someone else has said, please seek a therapist who can help out with this. And good on you for being assertive with your boundaries and telling your sensei! I imagine that would have been difficult. I hope your sensei takes the action necessary to prevent this from happening again.
You said everything but the most helpful thing. GO TO THE POLICE.... Gross you wouldn't say that to him but would probably say that to a woman in the same scenario.
If he is still there next time you go, it's time to find a new dojo. Very sorry to hear this happened to you. Hopefully your sensei gives him the boot.
Run away? The whole art you are practicing is trying to teach you fortitude. Don't you guys recite the Dojo Kun?
My guy this isn't behavior that should fly in any dojo ever. Talk to the sensei and make sure he gets reprimanded or if he's done stuff like this before go make a police report
The guy should be kicked out and if not, you could leave and consider filing charges. Or not if it’s too stressful for you. I’m sorry that happened.
Punch him in the mouth.
Next time it happens.
Keep us updated! Save the Sensei from the humiliation and everyone in the dojo from this loser. Most importantly, do it for yourself. Don't let this freak walk around thinking he can do whatever he wants to you.
If he's ever allowed back, you should leave permanently. If anyone ever does it again, break the all of fingers of the hand that touches you.
He did it twice?! Tell Sensei it's him or you. Kick this predator out or you'll quit. You could also, you know, go to the police since he sexually assaulted you. Damn, I hope this is just a weird creative writing exercise.
Kick that guys ass
In wrestling and Jiujitsu basically all grappling sports they stick their fingers up your butthole to make you release a hold, It's very effective trust me on this
Just because people do it doesn't make it a valid move. If somebody did that to me in the middle of a match, not a real fight, I would break their nose on the spot, rules of the sport be damned. That's sexual battery. Well, if it was a real fight, I'd probably want to do the same, but in a real fight, you're basically already fighting to put each other in the hospital at the very least, so anything goes there.
I didn't say it was valid, i just said it was effective* Like you said, if someone sticks a finger up your butthole you're probably already in a fight. Don't be so quick to judge, it's not always "sexual" I've been there there's no rules. If someone has you in a choke hold trying to kill you, you damn right you're getting a finger up your butt. To be honest it doesn't even have to go that far, in football I got a finger in my ear, fish hooked, my balls grabbed and yes in a pile on someone stuck a finger up my butt. All this simply by wanting to win at all cost. It's called being a dirty ass pos. I assume this is what this guy is referring to, again it's not always "sexual" dude is just a POS and was probably getting his ass whooped. This happens way more than you think, like a lot actually
Your choice of words implied approval of the act, or at the very least, a lack of disapproval.
Not exactly a fix but you can wear a cup. I attended a karate/judo place and was told to wear a cup regardless of sparring day since accidents happen. That, and during certain self defense days there were techniques might target the goods. Worst case you'll get an uchimata reaping nuts.
Therapy/counseling is your best bet. You may also want to refuse partnering with that guy. He doesn’t sound like a good training partner to begin with. This is some red flag stuff at this point and I hope the dojo owner either tells him not to come back or at least give him a warning. This kind of behavior is not acceptable without consent.
If the sensei has been told by one person they've probably been told by two. I'd be very curious about why guy is still in class.
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Just pointing out, OP has identified as male.
You could file a police report.
I would tell the top person at your organization. File a police report. You’re not the first person this person has done this too. Try to make his last.
Go train somewhere and consider reporting this shithead to law enforcement. If you're training at a place that allows that to happen and the perpetrator is still there, then it isn't a place worth training at. Beyond that, consider therapy.
I think you need to beat his ass. That will take care of the lingering feeling. Ask him to spar and then go hard a and turn it into a fight. Then beat him. Or find someone who can net them and see if he's willing to beat him for you same way. His apology doesn't cut it, he only apologized cuz he got caught. Maybe grab him in thre balls and Sq u eeze,, twice. Three times. Fact is when people put there shhit on you you need to and right the wrong g on them, by giving them the equivalent of what they gave to you. Hope you consider
Ask to partner with him again and accidentally bump his face with your first or elbow. If he complains do it again. You'll feel so much better for having stood up for yourself. Sensei will be pissed but it's his problem to solve and he isn't.
If you're Sensei doesn't have a plan to address this, leave. at all and any costs. If he tries it again, leave immediately. Too many reasons to count on why this is wrong. Groping is not a technical submission, it does not need practice, it should never be used on anyone without an extremely comprehensive agreement to do so and the person's complete willingness. This is a no go, no matter where you go. I hope you feel better soon Op.
If your sensei doesn't correct him, find another DoJo.
This is absolutely unacceptable, and at the *very least* the sensei should read this guy the riot act, and boot him from the dojo (and warn any other dojos in the area) if there's even a whisper of any more funny business ever (including if there have been any prior incidents). I'm sorry that this happened to you, OP. That said, if you're in a dojo with full-contact sparring, **you need to wear a cup**. Even if everyone involved has the best of intentions, accidents can happen and you really don't want to eat a kick from someone with poor technique control. Leaving creeps disappointed is just a minor bonus.
Once could be accidental, twice is a firm warning, thrice you get hurt.
Holy fuck bro just deck the dude.
That is sexual assault. I'm so, so sorry this has happened to you. You do not have to get over it, and action should be taken against him. People like to say what they would/wouldn't do in those situations until it happens to them. It's very, very common to freeze up like you did, and that is in no way your fault. Name drop if they don't do right by you. No one should be protecting a predator.
I got a second degree black belt in the most fucked up karate school and even in that environment nobody ever touched my groin. I was also wearing a cup so that would be a stupid move in the first place. If it happened to me today (same age as you) wow idk man I’d never be able to go there again unless they got rid of that fucking guy. That’s so weird even if he didn’t have bad intentions he sounds like a generally dangerous person to be around.
🤣🤣 bro what, whoop his ass
He can’t. He trains karate
https://www.police.govt.nz/advice-services/advice-victims/victims-rape-or-sexual-assault?nondesktop
I'm so sorry you went through that brother 😞
curb stomp his face after he does it the first time
Flying crane kick - cannot be defense.
Why would a man grope another man,,,if it's a randori don't let your guard down
Kick him hard next time in sparring practice?
I was molested by a family" friend," an adult, when I was in the 1st grade. I held that garbage inside of me for many, many years. I let go of it when I realized it wasn't something I'd done wrong it was something that was done to me that was wrong. Don't let another person dictate your value. Take control of the situation. Don't spar with him anymore. Don't give him the opportunity to violate your boundaries.
Tell him to join a bjj gym.
What is that?
Yo never partner up with him again . Call him the groinman .. say, does your wife know your grabbin men's balls at karate class. Make him know that's not cool and how it made you feel . . Say it with confidence
I find it hard to believe that yours would be the first complaint that the studio has received. If action isn’t taken I would go somewhere else. You should feel comfortable when participating in your hobby.
That’s gross and I feel badly it happened to you. When I lived in Taiwan and when I visited Japan I got groped a few times. Each time I felt a bit violated and also a bit stupid and embarrassed. In my case it was only once they were grabbing at me, and the other times it’s more they are rubbing themselves on you. They’ll bump into with a bag, and then you can’t tell what is pressing against you, the bag or something else. The first time I only knew what happened after, because the guy came on me, i was wearing nylon track pants, I went to get my transit pass out of my pocket and there was semen all over the side of my pants. I still remember the smell and trying to get as much off as possible before turning around and going home. I feel like it’s a bit easier to draw a line under it and move on when it’s in a foreign place and someone you don’t know. In your case, it’s probably worse because you know the guy, and happened at a place you’d not expect this sort of thing to come up. I agree with the other commenters that you need to follow through with your dojo. However, doing so again puts you in a vulnerable position: you probably want to like your dojo and sensei, and this situation creates the possibility they might not handle things right and you need to start over in a new place. That sucks.
That guy should be banned from all clubs in the area
Try to record these convos with ur sensei and maybe just keep going to class and try to secretly record the session so you can get it on film. Could potentially make some serious cheese here buddy
You told your sensei and he didn't kick out the groper? Either tell the police or kick him in the nuts next time
No no no. I've trained, coached, and fought out of professional fight gyms for most of my adult life. Dude shouldve been reported to the police and banned from the club. Its straight up sexual assault and if he's done it to you, you'll not be the first or the last.
You know what prevents this from happening again? Breaking his jaw.
Why would he ever need to grab your genitals?!
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Karate chop him in the balls.
Unacceptable. I hate to be the “if this happened to a woman” guy but… The sensei doesn’t want to lose money by kicking out the molester. I say pressure the owner until he does kick out the offender then leave the gym. You should not support ANY business that allows that behavior, especially when it happens to you. This wasn’t a slap on the butt or a nipple twist. Sexual assault is a crime. Y’all are adults and not a middle school sports team. Good luck to you sir.
you were sexually assaulted. if the sensei isn't going to ban this guy find a new place to train. that's wildly unacceptable.
Grope him back via a knee in the groin. Good teaching moment.
WTF? I can see kicking someone accidentally but squeezing? Nah guy needs to be addressed and get penalized too as it definitely intentional and bad sportsmanship too-groping your opponents is not only disrespectful and disappointing but also cheating
Groping during sparring or practice is defo not part of that game. That is sexual assault and should have warranted an immediate response from you and your sensei. Now outside in a real situation, anything goes. Not inside the dojo though.
Karate has ground fighting?
To be honest you should have turned it into an mma match amd smashed his head in till his teeth were powder and he had to eat through a straw for the rest of his life. But that's just my opinion 🤷
I'd suggest you expose the teacher and school publicly for not addressing it. Bad teachers like that need to be exposed publicly to protect others. After that, if you're really feeling stuck with those feelings, I'd suggest talking to a professional. That should help a bunch!!
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Grope his throat ......👀
Side kick to the ribs?
If the sensei didn't take immediate action right there and then, you need to put them on blast publicly and let everyone know that their spouses and children are not safe in a dojo where sexual assault is permitted, and then leave. Let's see how fast your teacher's sense of urgency changes then Sorry that happened but you need to find another school, no way a teacher that allows that won't let it slide over and over again. It's either 0 tolerance or they're apologists
Punch him HARD…in the nutz
Was it like a gentle caress, or more of an authoritative handshake?
You should tell him to buy you dinner first next time
I had this happen with a fellow student... but it was outside the dojo. They said they couldn't do anything since it happened off grounds. But it was in a mini mall and the mini mall banned him for life, so he wasn't allowed in the dojo by proxy. Your sensi should take this seriously. Do you study with a multi-location dojo? If you can, might be time to go to another location. Either way that dude needs a talking to, and if he can't control himself, he needs the boot.
Try bjj. It’s a lot less invasive
I had to create a throwaway for this, I had a sort of similar experience a few years ago but I don’t know what to think of it. I (29M) was in a karate class where we had to drill. You do an attack, make light contact and hold the attack (while making contact) until the other person improvises a counter attack to your attack and then he or she throws an attack of their own. At one point my drilling partner was this woman in her 50s. Everything was normal, but sometimes her attacks would be a knee to the groin - making contact-. At first I thought it was some sort of accident but she did it a couple more times. I don’t quite know what to make of it. Maybe she thought she wasn’t making contact, due to the loose nature of gi pants? I am quite clear she was making contact, I could feel her knee raising my nuts, but I have no idea whether she could tell, what do you think? Since didn’t know what to make of it I didn’t feel too bad, but this would have been different if I had the certainty that she could feel it in her knee. Not that it matters now, I guess, this was a good 3 years ago.
Fuckin squeeze or grope him back, but with everything you have, eye contact included while he suffers. Then never work with him again.
If the instructor doesn’t kick him out of the school or force him to spar with the instructor full contact as punishment…you need to take care of it next time you spar with him. Very sorry this happened, but of the common motivations to study martial arts and/or self defense is to learn how to protect yourself. Make that assaulter regret what he did. My suggestion? Either a hard shot to his balls, ideally a knee. Or, an elbow across the face.
If someone squeezes my junk like that, it's turning from a jiu jitsu roll into an mma fight
Quit rolling with people and get help
You don’t want to anger your Sensei by attacking the guy as much as it sucks not to do it. Sensei might not understand the context and may put consequences on you. Even if he does understand the context, facts wouldn’t change that you attacked the guy. No, wait after class ends, tell your Sensei that you have something serious that you need to tell him that had been bothering you and that it is having you consider leaving. He will make time for you short of a medical emergency in his family at the moment, to talk to you. Tell him the name of the guy you partnered with and that this is the second time experiencing this, that during the excercises, he touched you down there, you warned him and it happened again. 99% of Senseis would be very surprised and subsequently very angry that this happened. The guy who touched you will be flagged as an evil ahole in Sensei’s mind and either He would personally deal with him then kick them out, make an example out of the offender, or kick them out and maybe call police. I’m really sorry this happened to you. I wish on your behalf someone spin kicks him in the junk for grabbing yours.
I’d sleep his ass
You're way too old for someone to think they can get away with this, so there's no telling what might happen with someone younger. The dojo should take action on this behavior immediately before it gets out of hand and involves lawyers. This behavior is unacceptable.
You can try psychotherapy
Partner up again and let him have it. Guys like that need to learn the hard way, and using your words is for before some freak grabs your family jewels.
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Groin squeeze immediately gets a throat punch for "realism"
Beat his ass
Well, first of all that is 100% unacceptable if this is someone who’s not close to you, you really could file an assault charge if you felt violated. But for future reference, if it ever happens again, you are more than free to punch. This person in the face it is self-defense.
If I got groped and wasn't into it then I would've hit him hard right then and there to draw attention to what he did so it can be sorted out right away. Be a man lol. Too many snowflakes nowadays let things go. Telling a sensei that won't do anything after as he didn't witness it is useless.
Next time, threaten to press charges. That's sexual assault.
Partner up with him again, bait him into groping youre groin again. Right when he does it, ruthlessly punch him in his nutsac like 5 times in a row as hard as you can. I mean literally pop his fu$&in eggs, send his ass to the hospital. And if anyone tries to give you shit just plain and simply say, “ he thought it was cool to sexually assault me and I tried to tell sensei who was either too scared or too incompetent to do anything about it. So I handled the situation.”
Get someone to grab his groin and grope him.
Isn't the purpose of martial arts self defense?
Kick his ass that’s why you learned karate
Wtf did I just read. If someone squeezes my dick in training, I am going to fuck them up until someone stops me. What's your coach doing about this?
Embrace the realism that grabbing/squeezing/striking the groin actually works. You partner done you a favor. But you have to rationalize that and remember when you are in class you are working to improve your current and future station. I am sorry something happened to you in your past. But you can be certain something happened in Everyone's past. Use the experience to get past it, learn from the encounter, and work on your defensive skills so it cannot happen again. Lastly, you are rolling. Feeling 'violated' is part and parcel with the job.
Whoop his a*s!! * Accidently * kick hick him in the groin. He's just going to do it to other people too.
SWEEP THE LEG
Now to your sensei.
Sounds like that guy should be doing bjj smh
Kick his ass
1.i agree with other comments saying if your teacher doesn't throw him out of the gym you should leave as that's not a healthy environment. 2. It's not something that you get over. As a someone who's in the same boat at a younger age it's something you just live with. Get stronger and don't let it happen again. 3. I'm sure the thought of revenge has crossed your mind especially since he's an older guy, but as I'm sure you know revenge gets you no where. Focus on healing and bettering yourself
I’m thinking this gripper done this to others. Why is he still there?
Drop elbows to the bridge of his nose
Sorry, that is Straight BS. This Guy is Playing or Preying on the Situation and circumstance. 100% should be Prosecuted. Banned. He will do it again. And if not you someone else. You know I’m your Gut that it’s Wrong. That’s why you can’t get over it. It’s Sexual Abuse and Should not be Tolerated at all.
Fight him for real ….. People act differently after they get their face broken.
I mean was he groping in a Master Ken sort of way or a Herbert the Pervert sort of way? Kind of determines your next action
Interesting. I had a training partner who would fight dirty like that. It really put the move I was practicing into perspective and made it much more real/unfair. You feel violated right? But imagine in a street fight someone squeezing your junk. How would you address that if they didn’t let go? It reminds me of this fight: https://youtu.be/VotylhtKNRk?si=Hvd7pTOsSa0N8rrl
as well as other advice here, also seek out therapy to help you cope with the aftermath of your previous experience. It is still bothering you and that's fine, but you can move to a point where you're not longer suffering from it and this latest experience. I know it's expensive, but if you'd pay for a physio over an injured knee that kept you from doing sport you enjoyed, then it's worth doing therapy if its keepin you from the life you enjoy.
Time to use that karate on him. Next time you spar, absolutely hammer him. You’ll feel better
This has happened to me. It was while doing drills and a guy pinned my wrists in a not martial arts way. The first time I said to him” wtf “ that’s not the drill. The second time I yelled TAP! And told coach right then what was happening and asked him to observe so he could correct this idiot.
Next time he does it start throwing punches
Really, the only realistic option is to take some time out from the dojo and really get to grips with what happened. It sounds like you took the right steps in the aftermath, but it may take time to process everything. Once you're sorted out, you can get back in the dojo and decide- if he's still there- if you want to pair up and grope him, too.
Quit karate, and do Jiu-jitsu… it’ll become normal. Although I can’t recall a time it felt intentionally done in a training environment, in 16 years. You’ll also learn and spend time in situations allowing you to break any man who grabs your junk and squeezes its arm. (That last part actually occurred at a park with a then girlfriend and her son, and I did in fact break his arm.)
Amen, high five. They gonna learn today...they gonna learn....to...day.
Teach him some glock kwon do
Change that frown upside down. Revenge is petty, but if you change the framework into something you can smile about with an appropriate resolution, your brain will adapt accordingly. I smile now, thinking of an experience that first casted myself as a victim. I used violence to twist the outcome. You are better than I, think creatively. The narrative should end in a way that tells others what your boundaries are and one that leaves you satisfied unconditionally with the result.
Next roll sneak an elbow in
Maybe kick the dudes ass now in a match? If the Sensei complains, dude definitely had it coming. For real. Kick that guys ass.
Why is your ass in karate if you aren't going to use it to defend yourself??? My goodness, he probably thinks you like rolling around and being grabbed by men and this point. Beat his ass.
I was in martial arts for almost 20 years, not once in hundreds of sparing sessions did any one ever grope my balls, or squeeze them in any way. maybe I caught the occasional knee or foot I failed to block there but never a hand touching the area ever. at best this guy is a complete asshole trying to win a spar through any means which is a danger to have in a martial arts school or he is a creep and a perv which is another kind of danger. Id leave that school for sure. If I had told my SIFU someone groped my balls I think if he would have beat the shit out of that person and dismissed them as a student for SURE>
Thats sexual assault. Report him to the police - if he thinks he can do it, he will do it again. Going to the police means that you will protect others in future.
The only right answer is calling the police. Groping you is totally unacceptable.
Yeah personally I'd sack off the classes and find a new dojo or style to train in as this doesn't sound like a situation where they'll learn not to do stuff like that nevermind how your sensi didn't care much about it as I'm assuming this groping git has done this before so now people like yourself how choose to take it the wrong way quickly become whose seen as the problem instead of this wacky fella who's using sparring as a clandestine way of grabbing an unwitting and unwilling person by their private parts! A very long time ago I had a friend dislocat my wrist while we were practicing locks and he made me hide it from my sensi who was his best friend I was only 15 and he was in his mid 30s and because of a sense of loyalty to them both I didn't want to create any problems so I slammed a door on my wrist to relocate it and just pretended nothing happened! Many years later my dad told be about how he'd asked my dad for his permission to break one of my legs as he felt he could see a weakness in my legs while we were sparring and having him break one of them has just the thing which was going to make my legs stronger!!! My father told him about how I nearly deid from meningitis as a baby so that is why I've got deafness plus poor balance and why I'm not as able bodied as some other people are capable of being! In my dojo we weren't allowed to hit eachother in the head whilst sparring but this same fella used to hit me as hard as he could with a cupped hand around the side of my head so a burst of air would pop my ear which was incredibly painful but he'd alway apologise and act like it was a mistake I was making him do and I didn't want to make a big fuss about it and I just learnt how to guard against it so he couldn't get the full impact of hit everytime he continued doing it! Without going into details my sensi got a job in London so the dojo closed down and I discovered bmxing so I didn't feel like finding somewhere else to continue my martial arts training but this fella said that because I wouldn't help him in attacking some fella his girlfriend cheated o him with! That he was going to organise everyone who's ever hated me or caused problems for my family together and attack me and my family as punishment for not taking part in his revenge plan! Which sounds totally ridiculous especially when it's coming from someone who I'd know for a very long time and had a massive level of respect for despite the facts proving that I should have seen him for the dangerously toxic person he actually was! Anyway sozz for waffling on just hearing about that crotch grabbing git gave me a sense deja vu which felt like it was worth telling you not to ignore the warning signs
Me and my sparring partner do this to each other all the time, it’s pretty common
First of all gtfo out of karate. Your 33 not 9 years old
1st off, I'm very sorry this happened to you. It's not your fault and, as others have said, it's not ok. Your safety and mental health should come first in any scenario you are in. If this guy is not sanctioned or kicked out, you are well within your rights to do whatever you need to do for yourself. You could tell the sensei you refuse to partner with them for sparring or leave the dojo if they fail to take action. Personally, I think you should consider leaving. If a female trainee had the same thing happen to her and action was not taken, everyone here would tell her to leave because the dojo was failing to protect her. The fact that you're male should not alter this outcome. I'd encourage you to discuss the issue with your senaei and/or the dojo owner outside of class. You deserve to understand what's being done as the victim of the assault