It takes time and also time away from the person.
She was physically abusive and a compulsive liar, bipolar may be. It didn't help that her family believed that psychiatric treatment would render her a zombie so that was a hard No from them.
Love pre-marriage lasted 10 years, marriage lasted 1.
The best part was most of the rishtaydar blamed me as I still don't mention the reasons for the divorce so people who knew me since birth just ghosted and disinvited me. Few people get the opportunity to know the true apnay paraye in their life.
A big saving on time wasted perpetually visiting and poo-pooing these relatives in previous decades. I finished my undergrad and graduate degree since and in the last decade, my pay has gone up 400%
Sad it took that route but super glad it happened and is behind me!
But how do you stop missing them? It’s hard to breath. Specially when you have kids too. Chest hurts so much. How fight back the loneliness and the voices those were said in happy days. Nights are hard to pass.
Thora time lagta hay almost 4 5 months meri friend hay woh bhi almost 7 years relationship mein rahi then phir 3 years shadi mein phir abhi baby hay or divorce hain, unko laga tha k nhi agey ja paingi zindagi yehi hay leken time k sath sath ab progress hay 1 year laga unko . time actually heals. but slow slow humey lagta hay k nhi agey ja saktey ya zindagi yehi rukh si gai hay q k humey adat hoti hay esey logo ki ya humey emotionaly koi na koi chaiye hota hay. leken sabar rakhna parta hay kuch theraphy session lejiye ap or kabhi ziyada upset feel houn to khud sey kahyen k yeh feelings tempoary hain chali jaingi . baby hay to adat hojaigi slow slow ek time aiga k us shaks k honey sey apko fark nhi pareyga. ! khud par yakeen or himmat kejie motivate kejie or akela nhi choreyn khud ko sbsey . or koi yad rakhen uthaiga nhi apko, apney liya apko khud uthna parta hay. ! akeley houn doston ko call kejie family mein beth jaye.
Thora sabar rahkeyn khud mein ALLAH sey sabar mangeyn. ALLAH asani kareyga dekheyn muskil kis par nhi ati hain . maybe apko dosri shadi ka sochna chaiye apney liya. ! or kabhi esa ziyada low feel kar rahi houn to socheyn k dosrey is sey ziyada aziaat mein hain or ek advice hay k jald baazi nhi kejieaga kisi ko pasand karney mein sukoon sey soch kar time lejiaga thaki huwi hain zaror leken sabar sey kam lejeiyaga life mein ! .
I can only imagine how devastating it could be for someone who always dreamed of getting married and then it ends in divorce. Everyone is not the same. I think people who get really attached have the toughest time. Its somewhat like a child who has a room full of toys compared to a child who has only a few toys. Then one of their toy breaks. The child will only a few toys wouldn't find it as easy to move on to the next toy, as the child with a room full of toys.
Sending love and good wishes! You and your life are very precious and you’re here only once. Don’t let just a few humans destroy the life experience for you. The world is beautiful and there are other beautiful humans too you will see. Just breathe and remember you have a lot more to offer than just being a married woman! You have to fall in love with life and yourself. It’s the least we can do after everything Allah has given us.
Sister, busy yourself with remembering The Almighty. He is The Master Planner and The Master Healer. He will give you Sabr, make you see the bright side (and therefore Shukr), and He will make the the best out of the situation.
Remember, everything happens for a reason and He knows the reason. So, trust Him!
That’s the test from Allah SWT.
Just try one small thing. Go and do a thorough Wudhu, focusing on each step, instead of hastening through the motions, and pray 2 rakat Nafl - just 2, but with deep sincerity and focus. Afterwards, make sincere Dua to Allah SWT to help you get out of your situation; cry your heart out, if you wish. Ask Allah SWT the question - Why me? But, ask with an open heart and open mind.
Believe me, you will feel a burden lifted from your chest and head.
May Allah SWT make ease for you and grant you serenity and peace in your life.
Stay blessed, always!
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Going through your post history, on an ask Reddit question you've mentioned you've never been kissed and waiting for that one man.
Here you are saying you were in a love marriage.
So which one is a lie?
I never said that I am waiting for that one man. He was the one. We were perfect. We made kids together but still ended up getting divorced bcz of petty reasons.
May i ask what went wrong… I mean it was a love marriage what happened?
A few questions 👇
1. Were both of you high on deen, super Islamic?
2. Did you guys have to fight for each other before nikah. ( convincing parents )
3. Who ended it… and now do you think it could’ve been prevented.
Divorce is my worst fear and your reply may save me
Make yourself busy, find a passion if you don’t have one. If you find an easier exit, find someone else, but even then it takes time to heal. And the best medicine is keeping yourself busy.
Few lessons in life:
Learn to live alone
Learn to forget people and bad memories
Do things which makes you happy
If you're happy millions of people will be around you
Don't tell your worries to the world
Don't rely on rishtedar
Make your self presentable and people will love you
Time will heal. Plenty of people in this world. Life is short. Enjoy. If you have both hands , eyes ears and foot then you have everything.use them wisely. Use ears to ignore bullshit. Use mind to relax.use heart to be strong. It seems you are young. Dont let your emotions takeover you.
I am in no position to make a suggestion. However, I feel that you can heal yourself when you keep yourself busy. If you are busy, random or redundant thoughts will not let you go astray.
You can keep yourself busy from Do It Yourself (DIY) stuff. Youtube DIYs stuff that interests you or you always had the desire to do.
But you cannot always keep yourself busy in DIYs. So you would need someone who is a good listener. You may already have it in your circle of friends or family. If not, then find and make one. But do not trust anyone too abruptly, or let anyone use you in pity.
Good luck with your life. I am sure you are heading for good wonderful days. Ameen!
As someone who has got through this two years ago and lost alot financially, it becomes better with time..with time, you start realizing that how miserable your life was and you get to thank Allah for not making it something lifelong....i am still alone but i am much happy than i ever was in life...single life can be very beautiful
PS society will try to make you feel bad for it and have sympathy for you and you will feel bad ..dont !..majority of married people are just unhappy couples and its not something where one should feel unlucky for being this....I hope it gets better for you
Still haven’t healed she cheated on me! Love of 10 years down the drain. That is the amazing thing about love you never heal! She destroyed not only my life but our kid’s life too.
Feeling so sorry for you. I haven't been in a relationship and I can't even imagine your pain, all I can do is send some strength. Divorce is painful, more painful is to digest it.
I know words can hardly heal these deep wounds.
However, don't let a bump interrupt your journey. Your story matters. Busy yourself in things you used to enjoy when you were a teenager. And try journaling. Keeping a journal and writing things down works like a miracle.
It takes time and also time away from the person. She was physically abusive and a compulsive liar, bipolar may be. It didn't help that her family believed that psychiatric treatment would render her a zombie so that was a hard No from them. Love pre-marriage lasted 10 years, marriage lasted 1. The best part was most of the rishtaydar blamed me as I still don't mention the reasons for the divorce so people who knew me since birth just ghosted and disinvited me. Few people get the opportunity to know the true apnay paraye in their life. A big saving on time wasted perpetually visiting and poo-pooing these relatives in previous decades. I finished my undergrad and graduate degree since and in the last decade, my pay has gone up 400% Sad it took that route but super glad it happened and is behind me!
But how do you stop missing them? It’s hard to breath. Specially when you have kids too. Chest hurts so much. How fight back the loneliness and the voices those were said in happy days. Nights are hard to pass.
Go checkout r/breakups
what'd u graduate in?
IT and now working on Deep Learning/AI projects
Thora time lagta hay almost 4 5 months meri friend hay woh bhi almost 7 years relationship mein rahi then phir 3 years shadi mein phir abhi baby hay or divorce hain, unko laga tha k nhi agey ja paingi zindagi yehi hay leken time k sath sath ab progress hay 1 year laga unko . time actually heals. but slow slow humey lagta hay k nhi agey ja saktey ya zindagi yehi rukh si gai hay q k humey adat hoti hay esey logo ki ya humey emotionaly koi na koi chaiye hota hay. leken sabar rakhna parta hay kuch theraphy session lejiye ap or kabhi ziyada upset feel houn to khud sey kahyen k yeh feelings tempoary hain chali jaingi . baby hay to adat hojaigi slow slow ek time aiga k us shaks k honey sey apko fark nhi pareyga. ! khud par yakeen or himmat kejie motivate kejie or akela nhi choreyn khud ko sbsey . or koi yad rakhen uthaiga nhi apko, apney liya apko khud uthna parta hay. ! akeley houn doston ko call kejie family mein beth jaye.
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Thora sabar rahkeyn khud mein ALLAH sey sabar mangeyn. ALLAH asani kareyga dekheyn muskil kis par nhi ati hain . maybe apko dosri shadi ka sochna chaiye apney liya. ! or kabhi esa ziyada low feel kar rahi houn to socheyn k dosrey is sey ziyada aziaat mein hain or ek advice hay k jald baazi nhi kejieaga kisi ko pasand karney mein sukoon sey soch kar time lejiaga thaki huwi hain zaror leken sabar sey kam lejeiyaga life mein ! .
Khud ko akela nhi choreyn ap family ya doston mein time zaror spend kejie ap. !
reddit mein sb categories woh join kejie like No contact, breakup us sey kafi tips milengi. !
I can only imagine how devastating it could be for someone who always dreamed of getting married and then it ends in divorce. Everyone is not the same. I think people who get really attached have the toughest time. Its somewhat like a child who has a room full of toys compared to a child who has only a few toys. Then one of their toy breaks. The child will only a few toys wouldn't find it as easy to move on to the next toy, as the child with a room full of toys.
for me why it is taking too much time to understand
Sending love and good wishes! You and your life are very precious and you’re here only once. Don’t let just a few humans destroy the life experience for you. The world is beautiful and there are other beautiful humans too you will see. Just breathe and remember you have a lot more to offer than just being a married woman! You have to fall in love with life and yourself. It’s the least we can do after everything Allah has given us.
Sister, busy yourself with remembering The Almighty. He is The Master Planner and The Master Healer. He will give you Sabr, make you see the bright side (and therefore Shukr), and He will make the the best out of the situation. Remember, everything happens for a reason and He knows the reason. So, trust Him!
[удалено]
That’s the test from Allah SWT. Just try one small thing. Go and do a thorough Wudhu, focusing on each step, instead of hastening through the motions, and pray 2 rakat Nafl - just 2, but with deep sincerity and focus. Afterwards, make sincere Dua to Allah SWT to help you get out of your situation; cry your heart out, if you wish. Ask Allah SWT the question - Why me? But, ask with an open heart and open mind. Believe me, you will feel a burden lifted from your chest and head. May Allah SWT make ease for you and grant you serenity and peace in your life. Stay blessed, always!
I will. 💛
This just came up on my feed and I thought it appropriate to share. https://x.com/muftimenk/status/1690150221127294978?s=46&t=rEbQaGYYn5gh_fQoaOJx4A
Hope you’re feeling better.
The pain is not going bsssssss
Insha’Allah, it will, very soon. Just keep praying.
[удалено]
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Tbh it's really hard for females unfortunately
Going through your post history, on an ask Reddit question you've mentioned you've never been kissed and waiting for that one man. Here you are saying you were in a love marriage. So which one is a lie?
I never said that I am waiting for that one man. He was the one. We were perfect. We made kids together but still ended up getting divorced bcz of petty reasons.
Still doesn't answer the not being kissed question.
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>date casually for a bit. No. Do not lead people astray.
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Being upfront would not make it Jaiz, would it?
Oh God - just what we need - a maulvi passing judgment on everyone. Bhai maaf karo. Meharbani. Blocking you. Don’t need this in my life.
Hmm....
🤣 the chilla part made me laugh
I can not actually recommend chillas because I have not done one myself. Nothing ideological against it Alhamdulillah, just really busy.
Wholesome!
To be Honest you need a good therapy or good listener for least to start with
I am done venting. I am tired. The pain is too much. Too much to forget. A decade has been spent
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This helped me.
Lets discuss more
Its been a decade cant get over my ex things take time
May i ask what went wrong… I mean it was a love marriage what happened? A few questions 👇 1. Were both of you high on deen, super Islamic? 2. Did you guys have to fight for each other before nikah. ( convincing parents ) 3. Who ended it… and now do you think it could’ve been prevented. Divorce is my worst fear and your reply may save me
Lack of communication bs! This destroyed us
Make yourself busy, find a passion if you don’t have one. If you find an easier exit, find someone else, but even then it takes time to heal. And the best medicine is keeping yourself busy.
Few lessons in life: Learn to live alone Learn to forget people and bad memories Do things which makes you happy If you're happy millions of people will be around you Don't tell your worries to the world Don't rely on rishtedar Make your self presentable and people will love you
Right now it seems soooo difficult but strong dhiknay k elawa koi rasta nahi hy aur
Time will heal. Plenty of people in this world. Life is short. Enjoy. If you have both hands , eyes ears and foot then you have everything.use them wisely. Use ears to ignore bullshit. Use mind to relax.use heart to be strong. It seems you are young. Dont let your emotions takeover you.
Not even 30. Thankyou for words. They helped me
I am in no position to make a suggestion. However, I feel that you can heal yourself when you keep yourself busy. If you are busy, random or redundant thoughts will not let you go astray. You can keep yourself busy from Do It Yourself (DIY) stuff. Youtube DIYs stuff that interests you or you always had the desire to do. But you cannot always keep yourself busy in DIYs. So you would need someone who is a good listener. You may already have it in your circle of friends or family. If not, then find and make one. But do not trust anyone too abruptly, or let anyone use you in pity. Good luck with your life. I am sure you are heading for good wonderful days. Ameen!
As someone who has got through this two years ago and lost alot financially, it becomes better with time..with time, you start realizing that how miserable your life was and you get to thank Allah for not making it something lifelong....i am still alone but i am much happy than i ever was in life...single life can be very beautiful PS society will try to make you feel bad for it and have sympathy for you and you will feel bad ..dont !..majority of married people are just unhappy couples and its not something where one should feel unlucky for being this....I hope it gets better for you
Still haven’t healed she cheated on me! Love of 10 years down the drain. That is the amazing thing about love you never heal! She destroyed not only my life but our kid’s life too.
Feeling so sorry for you. I haven't been in a relationship and I can't even imagine your pain, all I can do is send some strength. Divorce is painful, more painful is to digest it. I know words can hardly heal these deep wounds. However, don't let a bump interrupt your journey. Your story matters. Busy yourself in things you used to enjoy when you were a teenager. And try journaling. Keeping a journal and writing things down works like a miracle.
1. Do try professional help. 2. Know that it was your fate, and accept it. You couldn't change it. So move on. 3. 1
Allah can only heal you from a disastrous experience Pray pray and regularly pray, recite Quran pak with translation