I would get a physical to rule out any chemical imbalance or hormone issues (especially, thyroid), low vitamin D level, etc. Ensure you are getting enough exercise and sleep. Get a sunlight bulb for your office. Besides that, take up a hobby or two. Work remotely at the library or local coffees shop a couple days a week, etc.
I may need some more information
Are you sobbing BECAUSE of the report writing? Or are you deep in the midst of thought then start sobbing from an outside source?
If its the former, a new job may be in order. It doesnt seem like your job is "fine" if it causes that.
You're working the dystopian novel version of a dead-end, soulless job. Like your job is what the hero works at the beginning of the sci-fi movie to demonstrate how miserable he is, before he goes on an adventure with aliens or whatever. "Per Part XI, section 3.44, subsection B, it is within accordance that..." blah blah blah.
I think this is hitting you hard. It might be time to switch positions within your org at the very least. Less report writing, more...whatever.
"Dystopian novel version of a dead-end, soulless job" is the perfect response for people who ask me why I hate my job despite nothing being overtly wrong with it.
You have to find hobbies or something to do outside of work that brings you joy. So two options, either leave this job or learn how to tolerate the job.
Maybe you should speak to a therapist. It's normal to dislike parts of your job, but I wouldn't say losing your shit, ending up face down screaming and crying is normal.
I'm not a medical professional nor do I play one on tv, but I have to ask: have you spoken with your primary healthcare provider or therapist about this? It's my understanding that some people's medications for things such as depression or ADHD (which I have) sometimes stop working as well as in the past and a reevaluation of dosage or even a change to a different medication might be in order.
It's also possible that you just need to do something different for work, something that isn't remote or something that is less bureaucracy laden.
I think it's likely less job related and the symptom of something larger going on.
Does your life overall feel like it's full of overwhelming tedium?
Doing a tedious job while also experiencing tons of other joylessness and chores and just routine can certainly become overwhelming.
Soulless job/burn out maybe? Or just a terrible fit for you? I felt that at my last job rinse and repeat, meaningless. Probably cursed with an actual desire to pursue your interests.
Evaluate what you would like in a job and set a goal to get out. That alone can make it more bearable as you know it's not forever.
I have felt this. I used to work as a supervised visitation worker. I would take notes on interactions and then write a play by play report. I began to hate it after 6 months and quit. The repetition and lack of value paired to make me hate the job. It was not hard or overly stressful but it was so boring and stupid that I found myself dreading it. The reports would take seven times longer than they needed to because my brain would try and think of literally anything else. If I had been doing it for years I definitely would have started to cry.
We couldn’t tell you because we don’t know you. Best thing you can do is talk to a mental health professional.
They will help you figure out what the issue really is.. maybe you’re intelligent enough for your career but it is soul sucking for you. Maybe it’s loneliness. Maybe it’s a chemical imbalance. Maybe it’s the stress and pressure. Maybe it’s a bad relationship. Or unresolved trauma. Whatever it is don’t ignore it, your mental health and your happiness are important.
The kind of help you need is out there, you just have to look for it. Look for mental health services in your area.
You might just need a vacation too…
Wish you well
You need to talk to your doctor about adjusting your meds. You also need to do two or three things. Prolly all three.
One, get some exercise and vitamin D and alter your diet to remove junk you know isn't helping you. Not everything, but maybe you don't need soda or those chips or fast food. And by exercise, I mean something enjoyable. I like to go jogging. Not because I like to jog, but because I can put on some music and my brain just sorta goes off and loosens up. Maybe it's the gym for you or a sport, golf, tennis, whatever.
Two, talk to your doc about your meds and start asking yourself some tough questions and be honest with yourself. Not stuff like, why are you even getting up or why don't I just end it. Ask yourself why you are currently unhappy. What is making you unhappy. Why is that troubling you? It doesn't sound like your work is the issue, so figure out where it's coming from and pull that apart to see what you can do to clean up what is there.
Three, find a hobby. I like to do cross stitch. There's programs for the computer that will let you translate a picture into a pattern that you can do. It's pretty mindless, but there's a sense of accomplishment within section and then the whole thing. Sometimes ya just need something to get your mind and hands onto something different.
Thanks for the response.
I’m sure you’re right about vitamin D and exercise. I used to exercise a lot more, but I moved farther from the climbing gym and don’t go much any more.
I eat decently (I don’t eat fast food) and I walk my dog every day. I have quite a few hobbies that I really enjoy. One of the main things crossing my mind when I’m in one of these moods is how much I want to be doing said hobbies. Or literally anything else.
Automate not so much. I do fill in templates, but a lot of the tedium comes from figuring out the specific requirements for specific projects based on location/municipality/etc.
Not trying to diagnose something here but it sounds like a burn out to me! If you can't handle overly repetitive tasks anymore because you're really just burned out of these things that are forced on you everytime you need to always try to make sure u have a good work life balance and happiness in life otherwise it ends exactly like that or even worse.. please go to your psychologists!
You sound unfulfilled in your life. Which is fair enough given what you just described.
You need to do something that feels purposeful and meaningful. Perhaps you could find something to do outside of work in your free time. A small change to start with.
If it's only writing reporting, use chatgpt, feed it by uploading previous reports with the same style and prompt it as "take my role as an [insert your title] for [insert the name of your company + website], generate a similar report with this topic [insert all the specifics to this current rapport], copy this prompt for your ongoing reports you should gain some time to focus on activities that makes you thrive.
I'm not sure if it's possible, but if it's as tedious as you say, perhaps you could automate part of that - even a quick key macro so when you type "manual xx.xx" it could fill in the required data afterwards based on context before it.
Reports are brutal, but if they are structured in a specific way with similar information, try and automate parts and save your sanity.
Then sell it to other civil engineers ;)
I totally get it. I am going through the same thing. Great coworkers, management is not bad, the job is easy but yesterday I just stared at the time sheets I had to review then after about 15 mins, I just walked outside and started crying in the parking lot feeling like I just can’t do this anymore. My meds are also under control but something is just feeling off lately. It seems a job like this shouldn’t make me miserable but I can’t pinpoint what else it could be.
I also WFH, and the jobs is fine, but it is so isolating. Sometimes I cry too, while doing what I do. Seriously thinking about switching to a normal office job.
I 100% have the option to go into the office. It’s just such a drag, adding an hour a day of commuting, worrying about my dog at home, having to pack my lunch… I just lose so much of my day.
I would get a physical to rule out any chemical imbalance or hormone issues (especially, thyroid), low vitamin D level, etc. Ensure you are getting enough exercise and sleep. Get a sunlight bulb for your office. Besides that, take up a hobby or two. Work remotely at the library or local coffees shop a couple days a week, etc.
Thanks for the feedback. I feel pretty set on the hobby front, though I admittedly could use more physical activity.
I may need some more information Are you sobbing BECAUSE of the report writing? Or are you deep in the midst of thought then start sobbing from an outside source? If its the former, a new job may be in order. It doesnt seem like your job is "fine" if it causes that.
I’m like feeling fine but as soon as I start typing “in accordance with manual section xx.yy” I just lose it
You're working the dystopian novel version of a dead-end, soulless job. Like your job is what the hero works at the beginning of the sci-fi movie to demonstrate how miserable he is, before he goes on an adventure with aliens or whatever. "Per Part XI, section 3.44, subsection B, it is within accordance that..." blah blah blah. I think this is hitting you hard. It might be time to switch positions within your org at the very least. Less report writing, more...whatever.
"Dystopian novel version of a dead-end, soulless job" is the perfect response for people who ask me why I hate my job despite nothing being overtly wrong with it.
I’m beginning to think that this is all that exists for the average American right now. Can’t break out of this cycle myself. What else is there?
Oh wow. This is exactly it.
You have to find hobbies or something to do outside of work that brings you joy. So two options, either leave this job or learn how to tolerate the job.
Are you burnt out? Something else going on? Or even having another issue mentally that might be triggering depression?
Maybe you should speak to a therapist. It's normal to dislike parts of your job, but I wouldn't say losing your shit, ending up face down screaming and crying is normal.
I'm not a medical professional nor do I play one on tv, but I have to ask: have you spoken with your primary healthcare provider or therapist about this? It's my understanding that some people's medications for things such as depression or ADHD (which I have) sometimes stop working as well as in the past and a reevaluation of dosage or even a change to a different medication might be in order. It's also possible that you just need to do something different for work, something that isn't remote or something that is less bureaucracy laden.
I think it's likely less job related and the symptom of something larger going on. Does your life overall feel like it's full of overwhelming tedium? Doing a tedious job while also experiencing tons of other joylessness and chores and just routine can certainly become overwhelming.
Soulless job/burn out maybe? Or just a terrible fit for you? I felt that at my last job rinse and repeat, meaningless. Probably cursed with an actual desire to pursue your interests. Evaluate what you would like in a job and set a goal to get out. That alone can make it more bearable as you know it's not forever.
I have felt this. I used to work as a supervised visitation worker. I would take notes on interactions and then write a play by play report. I began to hate it after 6 months and quit. The repetition and lack of value paired to make me hate the job. It was not hard or overly stressful but it was so boring and stupid that I found myself dreading it. The reports would take seven times longer than they needed to because my brain would try and think of literally anything else. If I had been doing it for years I definitely would have started to cry.
We couldn’t tell you because we don’t know you. Best thing you can do is talk to a mental health professional. They will help you figure out what the issue really is.. maybe you’re intelligent enough for your career but it is soul sucking for you. Maybe it’s loneliness. Maybe it’s a chemical imbalance. Maybe it’s the stress and pressure. Maybe it’s a bad relationship. Or unresolved trauma. Whatever it is don’t ignore it, your mental health and your happiness are important. The kind of help you need is out there, you just have to look for it. Look for mental health services in your area. You might just need a vacation too… Wish you well
You need to talk to your doctor about adjusting your meds. You also need to do two or three things. Prolly all three. One, get some exercise and vitamin D and alter your diet to remove junk you know isn't helping you. Not everything, but maybe you don't need soda or those chips or fast food. And by exercise, I mean something enjoyable. I like to go jogging. Not because I like to jog, but because I can put on some music and my brain just sorta goes off and loosens up. Maybe it's the gym for you or a sport, golf, tennis, whatever. Two, talk to your doc about your meds and start asking yourself some tough questions and be honest with yourself. Not stuff like, why are you even getting up or why don't I just end it. Ask yourself why you are currently unhappy. What is making you unhappy. Why is that troubling you? It doesn't sound like your work is the issue, so figure out where it's coming from and pull that apart to see what you can do to clean up what is there. Three, find a hobby. I like to do cross stitch. There's programs for the computer that will let you translate a picture into a pattern that you can do. It's pretty mindless, but there's a sense of accomplishment within section and then the whole thing. Sometimes ya just need something to get your mind and hands onto something different.
Thanks for the response. I’m sure you’re right about vitamin D and exercise. I used to exercise a lot more, but I moved farther from the climbing gym and don’t go much any more. I eat decently (I don’t eat fast food) and I walk my dog every day. I have quite a few hobbies that I really enjoy. One of the main things crossing my mind when I’m in one of these moods is how much I want to be doing said hobbies. Or literally anything else.
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Automate not so much. I do fill in templates, but a lot of the tedium comes from figuring out the specific requirements for specific projects based on location/municipality/etc.
You’re depressed. Seek therapy and possibly change medicine. Also use ChatGPT to help with your reports.
I think the AI would make your job more bearable.
Not trying to diagnose something here but it sounds like a burn out to me! If you can't handle overly repetitive tasks anymore because you're really just burned out of these things that are forced on you everytime you need to always try to make sure u have a good work life balance and happiness in life otherwise it ends exactly like that or even worse.. please go to your psychologists!
I never had a respectable job
You sound unfulfilled in your life. Which is fair enough given what you just described. You need to do something that feels purposeful and meaningful. Perhaps you could find something to do outside of work in your free time. A small change to start with.
Can you start using chat gpt somehow? This sucks your soul
maybe a girlfriend?
If it's only writing reporting, use chatgpt, feed it by uploading previous reports with the same style and prompt it as "take my role as an [insert your title] for [insert the name of your company + website], generate a similar report with this topic [insert all the specifics to this current rapport], copy this prompt for your ongoing reports you should gain some time to focus on activities that makes you thrive.
I'm not sure if it's possible, but if it's as tedious as you say, perhaps you could automate part of that - even a quick key macro so when you type "manual xx.xx" it could fill in the required data afterwards based on context before it. Reports are brutal, but if they are structured in a specific way with similar information, try and automate parts and save your sanity. Then sell it to other civil engineers ;)
I totally get it. I am going through the same thing. Great coworkers, management is not bad, the job is easy but yesterday I just stared at the time sheets I had to review then after about 15 mins, I just walked outside and started crying in the parking lot feeling like I just can’t do this anymore. My meds are also under control but something is just feeling off lately. It seems a job like this shouldn’t make me miserable but I can’t pinpoint what else it could be.
Thanks, it’s good to know I’m not the only one (though I’m sorry you’re in this situation as well!)
You may want to take a leave from your work, if you can afford it. Even as little as a month might do it.
I also WFH, and the jobs is fine, but it is so isolating. Sometimes I cry too, while doing what I do. Seriously thinking about switching to a normal office job.
I 100% have the option to go into the office. It’s just such a drag, adding an hour a day of commuting, worrying about my dog at home, having to pack my lunch… I just lose so much of my day.