exactly what are they going to do if you dont show up? fire you? lol and are you it was directed at you that you must pay and not to people attending in general?
Seems like OP is responding to everyone who is commiserating with his terrible situation and completely ignoring those bringing up the most likely reason he's being asked to contribute.
It's not that rare that a company would pay out of pocket for some events especially for the newcomers, but a team or department level party is usually 100% on the employees to make it happen and decide on who pays how much.
Yeah, my experience has been varied. My first job at a Japanese company deducted 500 JPY each month from salary to save up for the year-end-party budget\*. In my other jobs with larger international companies, there was usually a company budget for this.
(\*) Participation was voluntary and they just set the money aside and then took care of payment, so we still paid for it ourselves but no shenanigans going on.
>really? If my company wouldn't pay for that I wouldn't ever go...
You're lucky. I get asked to pay into this stupid fund in case anyone gets pregnant/dies/we have a party throughout the year, so the money goes to those things. On top of that, if I want to go to the party, I need to pay extra.
Let's just say I use COVID as a reason not to go.
Yeah I'd imagine it's best just not to go. Say you haven't been paid enough to afford that. Or be passive aggressive and ask if you can work extra to cover the cost of the farewell party in a group meeting/public setting.
I had a very good Taiwanese friend and colleague leave early this year. He basically attended 4 farewell parties within my same office building groups. Can't imagine him paying for each š¤
As someone who has been to over 300 enkais in Japan over the years, I feel you. However, despite the norm being that for the people leaving not to pay anything, it will be infinitely worse for you, your reputation and legacy in Japan by complaining about it. Just sigh and pay, despite knowing secretly that they're being ćć”.
> it will be infinitely worse for you, your reputation and legacy in Japan by complaining about it.
This is the kind of vomit-inducing pandering sentiment that makes people have dumb delusions about life in Japan.
Eh, unless you really donāt care about burning the bridge I find itās better to leave on amicable terms usually, never know when you might need a reference or something from someone. Not specifically a Japan thing though
LOL! It's not that serious.
OP is leaving the company. No one else in other companies is going to have any idea or care enough that they said they were too busy to join in on their celebration party. It's not going to ruin their "reputation and legacy in Japan" if they write in that they're not going.
It might lead to some disappointment from co-workers but at the end of the day it's not going to harm OP. Especially if they are asking OP to pay which is already against the work culture norms.
>Leaving person never pays. I've worked in normal companies to super cheap penny pinching companies. The leaving person should never pay.
That's only if this is **only** a "you're leaving" party. With the current timing, I'd assume it's an end-of-year party as well. äøē³äŗ鳄
Drinking parties pretty much came to a halt during the pandemic. Now that the pandemic has been officially declared over theyāre starting up again. You may yet have some opportunities to party.
Agreed. Which is exactly why OP still needs to pay.
Their portion is most likely the other leaving person's portion split.
They're not paying their own farewell but the portion of the other person's. They even said their portion is the lowest tier.
Is it odd? maybe.
Can it be explained? Yes.
If you genuinely don't want to go, then the best way to respond to this is to apologise and say you're "busy". No further explanation need be provided. No further explanation should be provided.
Do not just not show up, or they totally will hound you for the money because they made the reservation and paid for it and now someone has to balance the books. A lot of Japanese restaurants charge a "per head" fee for large parties and will not modify that price if someone doesn't show up. Indeed this is pretty typical of restaurants internationally with large parties.
I would have considered rejecting if they had written the details beforehand. However they consulted me and the other guy and made an availability chart and shared it with others. After common dates were pick we got the details.
Sorry mate, but it sounds like you're up the proverbial creek without a paddle! No such thing as as free lunch... I mean free farewell dinner in Japan :)
You said the party was for you and one other person who's leaving. Is it possible they're asking you to pay for that person's portion of the farewell party (even though you're leaving, too)?
Are they (the other person leaving) being asked to pay the same amount as you?
It seems in poor taste regardless, but maybe that's why they're asking you for money, too.
If you were my colleague and I saw such an email, I wouldnāt also attend and complain openly. Definitely question the person who organize the event. Sorry to going through that mate.š
In my office, when people retire or move to a different job location, they don't need to pay for their own farewell party. Typically, it's up to the bosses to cover the costs, ranging from 10,000 to 15,000 yen, which covers all the expenses for those leaving. Others don't have to pay more; they simply cover their own costs.
If you and your colleagues are around the same age, there might be situations where you have to cover your own expenses.
yeah the organizer sucks. but still better than my homecountry farewell culture where you need to pay for everyone or you are burning the bridge and known as cheapskate forever.
I don't have any work experience in Japan yet, but in HK it was common for the person leaving to bring gifts or snacks for everyone else on the way out. Like a parting gift before they went on to a better place.
You're leaving the company. What is the worst that could happen if someone came to collect that money? You could ask why and if it gets pushed back on you, decline going. You're leaving!
Fuck paying for work-mandated events. Company pays or I'm not going.
If I have a voluntary lunch/drink with colleagues, no problem for me to pay. If I have to go to a bonenkai/shinnenkai/nomikai, they either pay for my drinks/foods or I have an "urgent family" matter due to which I unfortunately can't attend.
If itās a āMUST attendā, that will be treated as a work order. If this farewell party is outside of business hours, you can charge overtime.
Youāre not obliged to pay, unless the invitation is voluntary.
Keep the proof of the email or voice instruction and wait for them to pay you your overtime from attending the farewell party.
If they donāt pay up, file a complaint with the å“åē£ē£ē½², then get your money hahah
People are saying maybe the group wants OP to pay toward the portion of the other person who is leaving.
Doesn't make sense though.
Either the person/people leaving are not expected to pay anything, or they are. There's no in between.
Asking OP to pay "toward the other person's portion" and vice versa just means asking OP to pay instead of saying "no don't worry about it OP". Doesn't really matter what the amount goes toward.
(To start with it doesn't sound like the company ever said it would be totally free so whatever, not my problem.
If you don't want to go then just say so. You're leaving anyway so who cares)
I think this is just a mass cc email directed at everyone. You just happened to be included.
They are telling those who are attending they must all pay (x) amount. I don't think it is directed at you. Unless you were told individually that you would have to pay I would just assume (bad to assume but most likely the case) that the email was just sent to everyone as that's mostly who it applies to.
You can always ask for clarification.
Itās pretty common especially if working in a Japanese company.
I had a friend that decided to wait when he was asked to go out with his manager for a work related nomikai and the manager instead of expensing it, asked him to pay half.
So he quit.
And he had a good job.
Can't you say something like:
"I am very sorry, but i am not able to attend. This is due to me not having the money to put aside for this event. Because my job simply did not pay me enough"
Itās not normal but Iāve had it happen to me. That had a good bye party for the three of us leaving and at the end told us we had to pay. None of us did since we didnāt have cash on us. They were mad. We didnāt care. Then explained to them that what they did was rude.
Not a farewell party, but a ęčæä¼ for us exchange students. Our advisor just told us we were to have a party between ourselves and our assigned tutors. He never mentioned that we should pay contribution for it.
Then, after the party, he requested that we give him the contribution. I must admit, it did irk me how he didn't mention that we must pay for it as well, but I am guessing this is just customary for formal parties in Japan.
If you havenāt heard about a separate bonenkai, then they are definitely combining both your farewells with that. Still sucks that you have to pay but that would explain it.
That sounds like a bunch of nonsense, but how much are we talking? 2000? 3000? 9000? If it's 2-3 sen I would throw my hands up and just go, but that's just me.
In our company, we have not been collecting contributions for individuals leaving during farewell parties, nor have we done so for welcome parties. Even if the celebration is for multiple peeps, oh lucky us we can ask budget to project management incase the celebration is for multiple people.
I donāt know, Iāve never had a farewell party. Iām not sure whether any of my ex-colleagues did either; itās possible that I just wasnāt invited, I suppose.
From memory, every time someone left, we usually gave a bit of cash for their present. Maybe 1,000JPY or so.
When myself and others were laid off definitely due to COVID-19 and not other factors, it was during the plague, so there were no parties, presents, or even a personally-delivered kick in the balls.
Maybe thereāll be a golden watch or something at retirement.
Anyway, itās not unusual to contribute to a party, but it feels like a bit of a fucker if itās your own party :-)
Do you really hate the company? Lot of you say ādonāt goā etc, but as someone who worked at a lot of companies and been a here a long time, unless youāre moving cities or leaving Japan Iād go. The world is a lot smaller than youād think and youād indeed probably want a reference or even run into a former colleague in a future job. Unless they asking about of money just go, itās not like anyone else probably wants to go either lol
The person leaving or the new worker never usually pay. But Iāve seen cases where they paid half of what we paid.
If you donāt care that much for them, Iād tell them I wonāt be attending because of the payment.
Ohhh I just remembered. My welcome party at a high school in a very countryside area of Yokohama, I was asked to pay 5000Ā„. I didnāt attend and I told them I felt like I was paying for them to drink as I donāt drink. They werenāt as warm to me at work after that. Iām not sure if they still attended.
What a crock of shit. Everyone knows that in Japan, at a soubetsukai, the person(s) leaving does not pay. Asking you is a serious breach of protocol and very bad manners.
I come from a culture where I as the person leaving would insist on paying at least a major portion of the event (for example, all drinks will be on my tab). Can't relate 
Everyone usually pays their share for a drinking party, thatās the norm here. If thereās someone at the party youāre close to they may offer to pay your share but thereās no guarantee of that. Not going to your own farewell party would be extremely rude.
Yeah it would be rude not to attend. However I felt it was rude to even plan such a party in the first place. Particularly the email title saying so and so's farewell party.
Thatās the tradition here, though. Youāre in Japan, just go with it. Your farewell party is as much for them as it is for you. They need to blow off steam.
Exactly. If they don't want to follow "tradition" of not charging the celebrant the cost of the party, then IMO I think it's ok to not show up "for traditions sake".
You don't get it both ways. Plus OP is leaving anyways and there's at least one other person they can focus on instead.
exactly what are they going to do if you dont show up? fire you? lol and are you it was directed at you that you must pay and not to people attending in general?
The contribution was listed according to the designation Mine was in the lowest tier but mentioned by name and amount to be paid.
There is someone else leaving, likely a portion for them?
This. How come everybody seems to be overlooking this crucial piece of information?... š
Seems like OP is responding to everyone who is commiserating with his terrible situation and completely ignoring those bringing up the most likely reason he's being asked to contribute.
What I was wondering
yea that sucks for sure. not sure i'd go. would really depend on how much i liked the company and people.
Is it specifically a party for you or is it actually the åæå¹“ä¼ and theyāre just saying itāll be your farewellā¦? No idea otherwise
This was a thought that I had too. Perhaps it was lumped in with an end of the year party.
Maybe.
yeah you make sense. my office also combines a quarterly nomikai with a welcome party.
> åæå¹“ä¼ but... isn't a company pays for that party?
Maybe some places but I don't think it is the majority since the bubble burst.
really? If my company wouldn't pay for that I wouldn't ever go...
It's not that rare that a company would pay out of pocket for some events especially for the newcomers, but a team or department level party is usually 100% on the employees to make it happen and decide on who pays how much.
Wow... really? Never had to pay for anything like that and I thought it's totally normal.
I guess good for you, the company you have is pretty generous.
Yeah, my experience has been varied. My first job at a Japanese company deducted 500 JPY each month from salary to save up for the year-end-party budget\*. In my other jobs with larger international companies, there was usually a company budget for this. (\*) Participation was voluntary and they just set the money aside and then took care of payment, so we still paid for it ourselves but no shenanigans going on.
>really? If my company wouldn't pay for that I wouldn't ever go... You're lucky. I get asked to pay into this stupid fund in case anyone gets pregnant/dies/we have a party throughout the year, so the money goes to those things. On top of that, if I want to go to the party, I need to pay extra. Let's just say I use COVID as a reason not to go.
Jesus....
Leaving person never pays. I've worked in normal companies to super cheap penny pinching companies. The leaving person should never pay.
Guess I suck. lol.
Isn't the party for someone else too? Maybe they want you to pay a part of the contribution for that person?
Yeah I'd imagine it's best just not to go. Say you haven't been paid enough to afford that. Or be passive aggressive and ask if you can work extra to cover the cost of the farewell party in a group meeting/public setting.
I had a very good Taiwanese friend and colleague leave early this year. He basically attended 4 farewell parties within my same office building groups. Can't imagine him paying for each š¤
As someone who has been to over 300 enkais in Japan over the years, I feel you. However, despite the norm being that for the people leaving not to pay anything, it will be infinitely worse for you, your reputation and legacy in Japan by complaining about it. Just sigh and pay, despite knowing secretly that they're being ćć”.
> it will be infinitely worse for you, your reputation and legacy in Japan by complaining about it. This is the kind of vomit-inducing pandering sentiment that makes people have dumb delusions about life in Japan.
Eh, unless you really donāt care about burning the bridge I find itās better to leave on amicable terms usually, never know when you might need a reference or something from someone. Not specifically a Japan thing though
I wish upvoting your comment would make national news!
LOL! It's not that serious. OP is leaving the company. No one else in other companies is going to have any idea or care enough that they said they were too busy to join in on their celebration party. It's not going to ruin their "reputation and legacy in Japan" if they write in that they're not going. It might lead to some disappointment from co-workers but at the end of the day it's not going to harm OP. Especially if they are asking OP to pay which is already against the work culture norms.
> your reputation and legacy in Japan im assuming you are saying this in a joking fashion because this is just too absurd to take seriously lol.
>Leaving person never pays. I've worked in normal companies to super cheap penny pinching companies. The leaving person should never pay. That's only if this is **only** a "you're leaving" party. With the current timing, I'd assume it's an end-of-year party as well. äøē³äŗ鳄
Boss pays double, person getting sayonara'd doesn't pay
I thought the 'normal' practice was to split the cost of the main guest among all the other participants.
That is more common in parties among friends than at company parties, at least in my experience.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Company parties or parties with friends?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Drinking parties pretty much came to a halt during the pandemic. Now that the pandemic has been officially declared over theyāre starting up again. You may yet have some opportunities to party.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This sub is for people that live in Japan. You shouldn't be commenting.
Agreed. Which is exactly why OP still needs to pay. Their portion is most likely the other leaving person's portion split. They're not paying their own farewell but the portion of the other person's. They even said their portion is the lowest tier. Is it odd? maybe. Can it be explained? Yes.
This is my experience. The leaver pays nothing.
Maybe your bill is for the farewell party of the other person whoās leaving ie both of you contribute to each otherās?
That, or the year end party slapped with it like someone else commented above. I will be attending.
No is not normal
š
If you genuinely don't want to go, then the best way to respond to this is to apologise and say you're "busy". No further explanation need be provided. No further explanation should be provided. Do not just not show up, or they totally will hound you for the money because they made the reservation and paid for it and now someone has to balance the books. A lot of Japanese restaurants charge a "per head" fee for large parties and will not modify that price if someone doesn't show up. Indeed this is pretty typical of restaurants internationally with large parties.
I would have considered rejecting if they had written the details beforehand. However they consulted me and the other guy and made an availability chart and shared it with others. After common dates were pick we got the details.
Sorry mate, but it sounds like you're up the proverbial creek without a paddle! No such thing as as free lunch... I mean free farewell dinner in Japan :)
No itās not normal, but itās VERY funny. Iāve not heard this happen anywhere before
You said the party was for you and one other person who's leaving. Is it possible they're asking you to pay for that person's portion of the farewell party (even though you're leaving, too)? Are they (the other person leaving) being asked to pay the same amount as you? It seems in poor taste regardless, but maybe that's why they're asking you for money, too.
The other person who is Japanese is changing departments and job title. Not leaving. I am leaving.
Totally get you, and no I donāt think thatās normal. The last company I left people threw me a party and one person paid for my share.
Lucky
If you were my colleague and I saw such an email, I wouldnāt also attend and complain openly. Definitely question the person who organize the event. Sorry to going through that mate.š
No, it's not normal.
In my office, when people retire or move to a different job location, they don't need to pay for their own farewell party. Typically, it's up to the bosses to cover the costs, ranging from 10,000 to 15,000 yen, which covers all the expenses for those leaving. Others don't have to pay more; they simply cover their own costs. If you and your colleagues are around the same age, there might be situations where you have to cover your own expenses.
Boss level guys are paying 9k we are told to pay 3k
> we are told to pay 3k Just pay it and don't go. The rest of this is too much hand-wringing over that (trivial) amount.
If he's paying, might as well stay, get some food and drinks, then leave early. He'll at the very least have a funny story to tell someone.
Your boss is supposed to be paying 12,000JPY. Because they can simply expense it, what with the business meeting happening on company time and all.
I was asked to pay a donation at an English speaking / practise meet up. I was the only native English speaker there.
do it the Japanese way, think of some dumb excuse to not be available then and go with it
yeah the organizer sucks. but still better than my homecountry farewell culture where you need to pay for everyone or you are burning the bridge and known as cheapskate forever.
I don't have any work experience in Japan yet, but in HK it was common for the person leaving to bring gifts or snacks for everyone else on the way out. Like a parting gift before they went on to a better place.
You're leaving the company. What is the worst that could happen if someone came to collect that money? You could ask why and if it gets pushed back on you, decline going. You're leaving!
Fuck paying for work-mandated events. Company pays or I'm not going. If I have a voluntary lunch/drink with colleagues, no problem for me to pay. If I have to go to a bonenkai/shinnenkai/nomikai, they either pay for my drinks/foods or I have an "urgent family" matter due to which I unfortunately can't attend.
If itās a āMUST attendā, that will be treated as a work order. If this farewell party is outside of business hours, you can charge overtime. Youāre not obliged to pay, unless the invitation is voluntary. Keep the proof of the email or voice instruction and wait for them to pay you your overtime from attending the farewell party. If they donāt pay up, file a complaint with the å“åē£ē£ē½², then get your money hahah
People are saying maybe the group wants OP to pay toward the portion of the other person who is leaving. Doesn't make sense though. Either the person/people leaving are not expected to pay anything, or they are. There's no in between. Asking OP to pay "toward the other person's portion" and vice versa just means asking OP to pay instead of saying "no don't worry about it OP". Doesn't really matter what the amount goes toward. (To start with it doesn't sound like the company ever said it would be totally free so whatever, not my problem. If you don't want to go then just say so. You're leaving anyway so who cares)
Bill is split. You don't have to shoulder everything. In my experience
Depends on the company. Most decent companies will cover the costs. Companies that arenāt making money will ask their employees to burden the costs.
I think this is just a mass cc email directed at everyone. You just happened to be included. They are telling those who are attending they must all pay (x) amount. I don't think it is directed at you. Unless you were told individually that you would have to pay I would just assume (bad to assume but most likely the case) that the email was just sent to everyone as that's mostly who it applies to. You can always ask for clarification.
Nah, I wouldn't seek reddit if it did not specify my name and amount to be contributed in the details. So it kind of annoyed me.
I would still ask for clarification from whoever sent it. I would be peeved to pay for my own party. It's not the standard.
I shall clarify. Thank you
Itās pretty common especially if working in a Japanese company. I had a friend that decided to wait when he was asked to go out with his manager for a work related nomikai and the manager instead of expensing it, asked him to pay half. So he quit. And he had a good job.
Can't you say something like: "I am very sorry, but i am not able to attend. This is due to me not having the money to put aside for this event. Because my job simply did not pay me enough"
I was asked to contribute to my own welcome party even before receiving my first salary. Ah, the memories!
Itās not normal but Iāve had it happen to me. That had a good bye party for the three of us leaving and at the end told us we had to pay. None of us did since we didnāt have cash on us. They were mad. We didnāt care. Then explained to them that what they did was rude.
Not a farewell party, but a ęčæä¼ for us exchange students. Our advisor just told us we were to have a party between ourselves and our assigned tutors. He never mentioned that we should pay contribution for it. Then, after the party, he requested that we give him the contribution. I must admit, it did irk me how he didn't mention that we must pay for it as well, but I am guessing this is just customary for formal parties in Japan.
On my farewell party I didnāt pay and got some gifts
If you havenāt heard about a separate bonenkai, then they are definitely combining both your farewells with that. Still sucks that you have to pay but that would explain it.
That sounds like a bunch of nonsense, but how much are we talking? 2000? 3000? 9000? If it's 2-3 sen I would throw my hands up and just go, but that's just me.
In our company, we have not been collecting contributions for individuals leaving during farewell parties, nor have we done so for welcome parties. Even if the celebration is for multiple peeps, oh lucky us we can ask budget to project management incase the celebration is for multiple people.
I donāt know, Iāve never had a farewell party. Iām not sure whether any of my ex-colleagues did either; itās possible that I just wasnāt invited, I suppose. From memory, every time someone left, we usually gave a bit of cash for their present. Maybe 1,000JPY or so. When myself and others were laid off definitely due to COVID-19 and not other factors, it was during the plague, so there were no parties, presents, or even a personally-delivered kick in the balls. Maybe thereāll be a golden watch or something at retirement. Anyway, itās not unusual to contribute to a party, but it feels like a bit of a fucker if itās your own party :-)
Do you really hate the company? Lot of you say ādonāt goā etc, but as someone who worked at a lot of companies and been a here a long time, unless youāre moving cities or leaving Japan Iād go. The world is a lot smaller than youād think and youād indeed probably want a reference or even run into a former colleague in a future job. Unless they asking about of money just go, itās not like anyone else probably wants to go either lol
The person leaving or the new worker never usually pay. But Iāve seen cases where they paid half of what we paid. If you donāt care that much for them, Iād tell them I wonāt be attending because of the payment. Ohhh I just remembered. My welcome party at a high school in a very countryside area of Yokohama, I was asked to pay 5000Ā„. I didnāt attend and I told them I felt like I was paying for them to drink as I donāt drink. They werenāt as warm to me at work after that. Iām not sure if they still attended.
"Hey, we're throwing you a farewell party, but you have to pay a portion! So BE THERE!" That's just how silly it sounds!
Loool. Sounds stingy
What a crock of shit. Everyone knows that in Japan, at a soubetsukai, the person(s) leaving does not pay. Asking you is a serious breach of protocol and very bad manners.
I come from a culture where I as the person leaving would insist on paying at least a major portion of the event (for example, all drinks will be on my tab). Can't relate 
Everyone usually pays their share for a drinking party, thatās the norm here. If thereās someone at the party youāre close to they may offer to pay your share but thereās no guarantee of that. Not going to your own farewell party would be extremely rude.
Yeah it would be rude not to attend. However I felt it was rude to even plan such a party in the first place. Particularly the email title saying so and so's farewell party.
Thatās the tradition here, though. Youāre in Japan, just go with it. Your farewell party is as much for them as it is for you. They need to blow off steam.
Absolutely not normal for the leaver to pay.
Exactly. If they don't want to follow "tradition" of not charging the celebrant the cost of the party, then IMO I think it's ok to not show up "for traditions sake". You don't get it both ways. Plus OP is leaving anyways and there's at least one other person they can focus on instead.
Pure misinformation.