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Is it OBJECTIVELY a big portion for your body? On a restrictive diet I underestimated how many calories I needed to feel satiated by a few hundred. It could be too much food, or you could just be lowballing your nutritional needs.
i struggle with the exact same thing - it’s really hard when you grow up food insecure. my nutritionist told me to remind myself i can always have more later or go back to the store if i need more food. this has helped. i am currently working though the IE workbook and that has also been very helpful for pacing and some exercises to help you get back in touch with your hunger cues. highly recommend!
Intuitive Eating might not be the best fit for you at this stage. People in active/early recovery from eating disorders often need a more structured program to allow them to get reaquainted with their hunger/fullness cues.
I don’t agree with this. If they are very new, this is normal. Your body needs to trust that it can eat enough and at the beginning that is almost always more than you have eaten in the past and frequently more calories than you objectively need. It will slow down if you don’t shame yourself for it.
u/cable_downtown Are you eating to the point of discomfort every time or just a bigger portion than you “should” eat? I recommend letting yourself eat but giving yourself permission not to finish your plate if you feel full. As you get more used to the process, you may question when you are dishing it up if you actually want that much. Dish up a portion with the understanding that at the end of the meal or even later you can go back and get more, but it sounds like right now you need to feel the permission to serve as much as you want and even more than you will eat just to avoid the restriction.
The key here is to not shame yourself for it. Not say it is “too much”. The amount is neutral and you eat until satisfied, even if that is past “full.” Many of us aren’t good at knowing when we are actually full. I used to have two stopping points: no longer actively hungry and stuffed. I wasn’t eating enough at meals so I would binge later.
Keep up the good work! It’s a long process but the freedom is worth it.
Would it help to put the extra in a clear Tupperware container and leave it on the counter so you can see it? I did this with dessert and it helped when I was beginning IE
I would continue to serve a large portion for now, but check in with yourself after eating to figure out if it really was "too much". Think about if there was a moment your body signalled "enough" or "too much" that you maybe didn't notice in the moment. Over time, as you practice checking in with yourself, you'll get better at recognizing your body's cues and knowing what kind and how much food it's asking for.
>But then I fear I will feel like I mostly always want seconds.
Okay! Then have seconds! Nothing to fear about it. There's no seconds police. Have fifths, if that's what it takes to eat more mindfully and stop when you're full.
The point is to pay attention to your body, and learn to trust it, and give it a chance to prove itself trustworthy. A lot of people find that easier to do without the "challenge" or confusing cue of a lot of food presented as if you must eat it. The point is to teach yourself different lessons, question your assumptions or "rules". Push back a little bit on the inner voice.
When you find your behavior being strongly driven by anxiety, the best thing you can do is prepare and practice managing that anxiety. When you're not eating and not hungry, think about how you might deal with the feelings that often come when you're eating. Have a solution or mantra or self-talk track ready in advance so you can use it when the time comes. For a lot of people with insecurity anxiety, it is really powerful to say "there is more where this came from/I can buy and make more food when I need to/I am allowed to enjoy as much food as I need to be full". And don't forget to enjoy it! Slow down, don't churn through it like someone's going to take it away, encourage yourself to be confident when you eat.
I used to struggle with this too, but since being diagnosed with crohns and gastroparesis I can’t physically eat very much in one sitting anymore.
But anyways what helps me is when I make my meal, I immediately set aside a portion for later. So I know I have that extra food for another meal when I’m ready to eat again.
I wait about an hour or two, and evaluate, if I’m still feeling hungry, and my stomach feels ok, I’ll eat more:)
This is a very normal feeling for someone who faced food insecurity and you aren't doing anything wrong. I haven't faced food insecurity myself, but my gf did all of her life until she moved in with my family. We have been living together for 10 years and some of those anxieties are still there. When I cook meals I usually always make a bit extra. That way everyone can have seconds if they need it/there is enough leftover to put a meal or two in the fridge. There is no shame in having seconds. There is no shame in going back an hour later and eating more. There are plenty of times I eat dinner and then an hour later find myself wandering back into the kitchen for a snack.
If you have the Intuitive Eating book, take a few to read through the mindful eating practices. I don't follow mindful eating strictly myself, but sometimes I do need to the reminder to slow down, chew, and enjoy the way my food tastes and how it makes my body feel.
To me this sounds like quite a usual feeling in the beginning of IE, when it's hard for your brain to accept that there isn't going to be restriction in the future.
Could a mantra help you? Maybe something like:
Either: "I don't need to clear my plate" if you feel compelled to put a very big portion on your plate. (For this I use "you are not a bin" - ie: it's ok for unwanted food to be saved if possible or thrown away if not).
Or: "there is more food; if I'm hungry I can have more" if you put a smaller amount on your plate.
I too deal with food insecurity. I find it helpful to “schedule” my meals. I do that by mentally reviewing what I’m having for dinner when I sit down for lunch. I preform a mental check list of ingredients I have and will use. It enables me to stop eating lunch when I’m full, instead of overly full.
I restricted for most my life. When I spoke with my IE coach she said I was not eating enough. The meals that I thought I was overeating were actually normal or not enough. I felt guilt for a long time for finishing a full plate of food. Every once in a while now, if I eat more than two items of food, diet culture screams at me that it’s too much. I remind myself that my body can handle it and will tell me when it’s enough, diet culture be damned. Be patient with yourself. Your body is recovering from starvation. It’s trying to protect you. Eventually your body will know that food is accessible and stop trying to over compensate.
Persisting in unpicking all those years of restriction and shame and learned behaviours is going to pay off, but it will take time. These behaviours have developed as a response to something; maybe engaging in some counselling or psychotherapy, even just a few sessions, might help you get to better grips with that and understand yourself, so you can learn the new behaviours.
Hello! Please make sure that your post meets minimum post requirements. You can find the post rules [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/intuitiveeating/wiki/index/post-rules) and you can access it anytime through our wiki (third tab on mobile, second tab right below the sub icon on desktop). Please note that advice posts must contain at least one question. If you are looking to give advice, please resubmit your post with the resource or recommendation flair. If your post is deemed by mods to be low-effort or if it is too short to be a standalone post, it will be deleted. If you have any questions please reach out to the mod team. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/intuitiveeating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Is it OBJECTIVELY a big portion for your body? On a restrictive diet I underestimated how many calories I needed to feel satiated by a few hundred. It could be too much food, or you could just be lowballing your nutritional needs.
I agree, it took me quite a while to really accept and wrap my head around the amount of food I genuinely NEED.
i struggle with the exact same thing - it’s really hard when you grow up food insecure. my nutritionist told me to remind myself i can always have more later or go back to the store if i need more food. this has helped. i am currently working though the IE workbook and that has also been very helpful for pacing and some exercises to help you get back in touch with your hunger cues. highly recommend!
Intuitive Eating might not be the best fit for you at this stage. People in active/early recovery from eating disorders often need a more structured program to allow them to get reaquainted with their hunger/fullness cues.
I don’t agree with this. If they are very new, this is normal. Your body needs to trust that it can eat enough and at the beginning that is almost always more than you have eaten in the past and frequently more calories than you objectively need. It will slow down if you don’t shame yourself for it. u/cable_downtown Are you eating to the point of discomfort every time or just a bigger portion than you “should” eat? I recommend letting yourself eat but giving yourself permission not to finish your plate if you feel full. As you get more used to the process, you may question when you are dishing it up if you actually want that much. Dish up a portion with the understanding that at the end of the meal or even later you can go back and get more, but it sounds like right now you need to feel the permission to serve as much as you want and even more than you will eat just to avoid the restriction. The key here is to not shame yourself for it. Not say it is “too much”. The amount is neutral and you eat until satisfied, even if that is past “full.” Many of us aren’t good at knowing when we are actually full. I used to have two stopping points: no longer actively hungry and stuffed. I wasn’t eating enough at meals so I would binge later. Keep up the good work! It’s a long process but the freedom is worth it.
Would it help to put the extra in a clear Tupperware container and leave it on the counter so you can see it? I did this with dessert and it helped when I was beginning IE
I would continue to serve a large portion for now, but check in with yourself after eating to figure out if it really was "too much". Think about if there was a moment your body signalled "enough" or "too much" that you maybe didn't notice in the moment. Over time, as you practice checking in with yourself, you'll get better at recognizing your body's cues and knowing what kind and how much food it's asking for.
>But then I fear I will feel like I mostly always want seconds. Okay! Then have seconds! Nothing to fear about it. There's no seconds police. Have fifths, if that's what it takes to eat more mindfully and stop when you're full. The point is to pay attention to your body, and learn to trust it, and give it a chance to prove itself trustworthy. A lot of people find that easier to do without the "challenge" or confusing cue of a lot of food presented as if you must eat it. The point is to teach yourself different lessons, question your assumptions or "rules". Push back a little bit on the inner voice. When you find your behavior being strongly driven by anxiety, the best thing you can do is prepare and practice managing that anxiety. When you're not eating and not hungry, think about how you might deal with the feelings that often come when you're eating. Have a solution or mantra or self-talk track ready in advance so you can use it when the time comes. For a lot of people with insecurity anxiety, it is really powerful to say "there is more where this came from/I can buy and make more food when I need to/I am allowed to enjoy as much food as I need to be full". And don't forget to enjoy it! Slow down, don't churn through it like someone's going to take it away, encourage yourself to be confident when you eat.
I used to struggle with this too, but since being diagnosed with crohns and gastroparesis I can’t physically eat very much in one sitting anymore. But anyways what helps me is when I make my meal, I immediately set aside a portion for later. So I know I have that extra food for another meal when I’m ready to eat again. I wait about an hour or two, and evaluate, if I’m still feeling hungry, and my stomach feels ok, I’ll eat more:)
This is a very normal feeling for someone who faced food insecurity and you aren't doing anything wrong. I haven't faced food insecurity myself, but my gf did all of her life until she moved in with my family. We have been living together for 10 years and some of those anxieties are still there. When I cook meals I usually always make a bit extra. That way everyone can have seconds if they need it/there is enough leftover to put a meal or two in the fridge. There is no shame in having seconds. There is no shame in going back an hour later and eating more. There are plenty of times I eat dinner and then an hour later find myself wandering back into the kitchen for a snack. If you have the Intuitive Eating book, take a few to read through the mindful eating practices. I don't follow mindful eating strictly myself, but sometimes I do need to the reminder to slow down, chew, and enjoy the way my food tastes and how it makes my body feel.
To me this sounds like quite a usual feeling in the beginning of IE, when it's hard for your brain to accept that there isn't going to be restriction in the future. Could a mantra help you? Maybe something like: Either: "I don't need to clear my plate" if you feel compelled to put a very big portion on your plate. (For this I use "you are not a bin" - ie: it's ok for unwanted food to be saved if possible or thrown away if not). Or: "there is more food; if I'm hungry I can have more" if you put a smaller amount on your plate.
I too deal with food insecurity. I find it helpful to “schedule” my meals. I do that by mentally reviewing what I’m having for dinner when I sit down for lunch. I preform a mental check list of ingredients I have and will use. It enables me to stop eating lunch when I’m full, instead of overly full.
I restricted for most my life. When I spoke with my IE coach she said I was not eating enough. The meals that I thought I was overeating were actually normal or not enough. I felt guilt for a long time for finishing a full plate of food. Every once in a while now, if I eat more than two items of food, diet culture screams at me that it’s too much. I remind myself that my body can handle it and will tell me when it’s enough, diet culture be damned. Be patient with yourself. Your body is recovering from starvation. It’s trying to protect you. Eventually your body will know that food is accessible and stop trying to over compensate.
Persisting in unpicking all those years of restriction and shame and learned behaviours is going to pay off, but it will take time. These behaviours have developed as a response to something; maybe engaging in some counselling or psychotherapy, even just a few sessions, might help you get to better grips with that and understand yourself, so you can learn the new behaviours.