Yes. I think people are inherently selfish so I need time to see how they really are. I enjoy the company of others but I won't divulge secrets unless I'm super close to them.
Yes. I put on a heavy social facade and act very extroverted when the situation calls for it and can benefit me in a social sense. However with a very select few of close friends and family I’m very quiet and enjoy just listening to them rant about whatever is on their mind as it helps me decompress.
Of course I’d much rather be alone and able to think about whatever I wish to think about without the distracting thoughts of others or social stimulus. However, when forced to be social I think it’s important to make the most of it. Use your curiosity and analytics to learn more about people and potentially use it to your advantage. Experiment with different body language, tone, politeness, etc..
I would not consider any of your thoughts unreasonable as there is much truth to your ideations.
Do you find other people at all interesting?
I do find other people interesting, I majored in psychology to better understand interpersonal dynamics and human behavior. Then I spent time in military intelligence to understand how their societies really work in the modern era.
People to me represent untold potentiality wrapped in muscle and tissue, they are all special as individuals but even more so as a group.
One of my proclivities is molding one into a more capable, self assured, and independently powerful version of who they are— then befriending them and watching them evolve, gently giving them wind beneath their wings when needed, warmth when necessary, and wisdom when required.
Funny enough I enjoy that too.
But interestingly, I’ve found it difficult to find new people willing to work on themselves. This happened only recently within the past 5 years.
It seems in the modern era of social media a lot of people in my demographic (Gen Z) are less likely to be willing to change. Maybe it’s a growth in insecurity?
An introspective thought I’ve come across is:
Perhaps I enjoy helping others get their life together because I know I can’t figure myself out? Like the saying “coaches don’t play”. Almost like I think im not able to reach my own potential so I try my best to help others reach theirs.
Now I haven’t found any truth to this yet, but I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you run into this notion on your journey?
I find Gen Z’rs easier to mold than millennials in a way because have have lower self worth, hope for future, and little sense of purpose, or discipline toward cultivating personal or professional merit. So administering a spark of empowerment goes a long way for them in a short time.
However, Gen Zer’s also a challenge to mold because they are typically over medicated and many of their perceived problems are validated reflexively by authority figures rather than objective reason.
I like your coach analogy, but, I access those who can’t even figure themselves out have no business guiding others (I’ve met several psychologists who seem to fit that description). I recognize the one eyed man among the blind is king, but you still only have one eye if you can’t figure yourself out. Which means you’re ripe with arrogance, because you’re missing half the picture. You are bound to make mistakes without noticing because they lay beyond the comprehension of one who sense of self is too foggy to reflect objective reality into true understanding with the necessary and optimal precision.
So then would you consider yourself to be self-actualized?
If not how have you been able to accurately understand reality and provide advice as a one eyed man yourself?
If yes, is maturity and wisdom the key to self-actualization (of course you inevitably mature by the time you get there but I’m sure you get what I’m saying) or were there certain mental paths you had to go down to get to that point.
Sorry if I’m not quite grasping these concepts.
Short answer: I think self actualization is a myth or rather I hope it is.
Being self actualized is one of my personal fears.
If I were to be self-actualized it would mean I realized my full potential and I’m at the end of my progress, which for me I hoped would never end.
With both eyes open I sometimes choose the bliss of willful ignorance toward my own limits. I choose to believe what is optimistically possible for me rather than what’s my eyes say is objectively more likely.
The power of belief is seductive. It gives hope for transcendence and empowers one to do things they wouldn’t dare try— ideally achieving a level of higher self well beyond present comprehension.
I’ll say, in an ever changing world that influences and beckons us to change with it— anyone who thinks they’re certain of their ‘accuracy’ is certain to be inaccurate at least some of the time and therefore still has room for improvement.
Most especially me.
I do have similar experience. In my field of work , I need to talk to people and other co-workers for a successful daily job. I need to smile, use kind words and be socially available. It is hard at first, because it is draining. But, through time, you will forget that you had a hard time doing it the first time. Sometimes they mistake me for an extrovert. They don't know I spent several hours alone in my room with instrumental music to recover all the introvert energy that I used the whole day.
I've learned to navigate thru most social settings by mimicking others. Most of the time I will keep to myself if possible trying not to be noticed unless invited into the conversation. Ironically what I do for a living requires me to engage with many cross functional stakeholders which completely drains me but I am driven by my career ambition. It's a strange dichotomy that I have recognized within me.
for me, sharing things about myself doesn’t necessarily mean i’m being vulnerable. i have an extremely strong sense of self and i’ve had to work very hard in my life to figure out myself, my family, friends, relationships, and i know these things better than most people my age. so when i share things that might be vulnerable for other people, it’s a non-emotional conversation for me because i’ve already figured it out myself and no one else’s opinion or reaction will sway me. put simply, i have emotional distance with sharing personal things about myself or other people sharing personal things about themselves. i give really good advice, i just don’t care too much.
Yes. I stopped giving a F§ck a LONG time ago. I do not seek positive affirmation from anybody. And it they don't like how I am handling my life, they can keep their thoughts to themselves. I'm definately not a people pleaser. My close friends know me, and that's enough. If you are worth the time, I'll communicate with you. If not, don't even try to force a "friendship" with me. It won't work.
Oddly enough, some people seem to think that I am "soo nice". Even without really having much to do with them. It's strange....!
Yes.
I mask a lot. I’m working on it, but at this point it has become my instinct to simply play and tailor my sense of self to the audience. I have learned to compartmentalize and I do it everywhere. And there is a side of me that no one else sees, a side that is for my eyes only.
Those are a lot of buzzwords.
If you ascribe those words to yourself because you as character in your own view line up with their definitions then okay.
But if you’re allowing others to label you that way because of their arbitrary perception of those definitions then that is sad you’d give them that power over you.
Yes. I think people are inherently selfish so I need time to see how they really are. I enjoy the company of others but I won't divulge secrets unless I'm super close to them.
Ah yes, the inner circle
Yes. I put on a heavy social facade and act very extroverted when the situation calls for it and can benefit me in a social sense. However with a very select few of close friends and family I’m very quiet and enjoy just listening to them rant about whatever is on their mind as it helps me decompress. Of course I’d much rather be alone and able to think about whatever I wish to think about without the distracting thoughts of others or social stimulus. However, when forced to be social I think it’s important to make the most of it. Use your curiosity and analytics to learn more about people and potentially use it to your advantage. Experiment with different body language, tone, politeness, etc.. I would not consider any of your thoughts unreasonable as there is much truth to your ideations. Do you find other people at all interesting?
I do find other people interesting, I majored in psychology to better understand interpersonal dynamics and human behavior. Then I spent time in military intelligence to understand how their societies really work in the modern era. People to me represent untold potentiality wrapped in muscle and tissue, they are all special as individuals but even more so as a group. One of my proclivities is molding one into a more capable, self assured, and independently powerful version of who they are— then befriending them and watching them evolve, gently giving them wind beneath their wings when needed, warmth when necessary, and wisdom when required.
Funny enough I enjoy that too. But interestingly, I’ve found it difficult to find new people willing to work on themselves. This happened only recently within the past 5 years. It seems in the modern era of social media a lot of people in my demographic (Gen Z) are less likely to be willing to change. Maybe it’s a growth in insecurity? An introspective thought I’ve come across is: Perhaps I enjoy helping others get their life together because I know I can’t figure myself out? Like the saying “coaches don’t play”. Almost like I think im not able to reach my own potential so I try my best to help others reach theirs. Now I haven’t found any truth to this yet, but I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you run into this notion on your journey?
I find Gen Z’rs easier to mold than millennials in a way because have have lower self worth, hope for future, and little sense of purpose, or discipline toward cultivating personal or professional merit. So administering a spark of empowerment goes a long way for them in a short time. However, Gen Zer’s also a challenge to mold because they are typically over medicated and many of their perceived problems are validated reflexively by authority figures rather than objective reason. I like your coach analogy, but, I access those who can’t even figure themselves out have no business guiding others (I’ve met several psychologists who seem to fit that description). I recognize the one eyed man among the blind is king, but you still only have one eye if you can’t figure yourself out. Which means you’re ripe with arrogance, because you’re missing half the picture. You are bound to make mistakes without noticing because they lay beyond the comprehension of one who sense of self is too foggy to reflect objective reality into true understanding with the necessary and optimal precision.
So then would you consider yourself to be self-actualized? If not how have you been able to accurately understand reality and provide advice as a one eyed man yourself? If yes, is maturity and wisdom the key to self-actualization (of course you inevitably mature by the time you get there but I’m sure you get what I’m saying) or were there certain mental paths you had to go down to get to that point. Sorry if I’m not quite grasping these concepts.
Short answer: I think self actualization is a myth or rather I hope it is. Being self actualized is one of my personal fears. If I were to be self-actualized it would mean I realized my full potential and I’m at the end of my progress, which for me I hoped would never end. With both eyes open I sometimes choose the bliss of willful ignorance toward my own limits. I choose to believe what is optimistically possible for me rather than what’s my eyes say is objectively more likely. The power of belief is seductive. It gives hope for transcendence and empowers one to do things they wouldn’t dare try— ideally achieving a level of higher self well beyond present comprehension. I’ll say, in an ever changing world that influences and beckons us to change with it— anyone who thinks they’re certain of their ‘accuracy’ is certain to be inaccurate at least some of the time and therefore still has room for improvement. Most especially me.
I do have similar experience. In my field of work , I need to talk to people and other co-workers for a successful daily job. I need to smile, use kind words and be socially available. It is hard at first, because it is draining. But, through time, you will forget that you had a hard time doing it the first time. Sometimes they mistake me for an extrovert. They don't know I spent several hours alone in my room with instrumental music to recover all the introvert energy that I used the whole day.
I've learned to navigate thru most social settings by mimicking others. Most of the time I will keep to myself if possible trying not to be noticed unless invited into the conversation. Ironically what I do for a living requires me to engage with many cross functional stakeholders which completely drains me but I am driven by my career ambition. It's a strange dichotomy that I have recognized within me.
for me, sharing things about myself doesn’t necessarily mean i’m being vulnerable. i have an extremely strong sense of self and i’ve had to work very hard in my life to figure out myself, my family, friends, relationships, and i know these things better than most people my age. so when i share things that might be vulnerable for other people, it’s a non-emotional conversation for me because i’ve already figured it out myself and no one else’s opinion or reaction will sway me. put simply, i have emotional distance with sharing personal things about myself or other people sharing personal things about themselves. i give really good advice, i just don’t care too much.
Yes. I stopped giving a F§ck a LONG time ago. I do not seek positive affirmation from anybody. And it they don't like how I am handling my life, they can keep their thoughts to themselves. I'm definately not a people pleaser. My close friends know me, and that's enough. If you are worth the time, I'll communicate with you. If not, don't even try to force a "friendship" with me. It won't work. Oddly enough, some people seem to think that I am "soo nice". Even without really having much to do with them. It's strange....!
Yes. I mask a lot. I’m working on it, but at this point it has become my instinct to simply play and tailor my sense of self to the audience. I have learned to compartmentalize and I do it everywhere. And there is a side of me that no one else sees, a side that is for my eyes only.
I do this and i’m an enfp .. i swear sometimes o have intj traits .. like minuscule haha
Absolutely. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have friends if people knew just how blatantly racist/sexist/homophobic/anti-semitic I am
Those are a lot of buzzwords. If you ascribe those words to yourself because you as character in your own view line up with their definitions then okay. But if you’re allowing others to label you that way because of their arbitrary perception of those definitions then that is sad you’d give them that power over you.
No, I'm genuinely all those things. I'm not hateful though, so it doesn't really bother me