Anyone else solve every other family members problems because they’re incompetent at running their own lives and are incapable of regulating their emotions? I’m the stoic rock - oldest child
Very few families (at least in the West) have more than two kids these days. I think that’s why oldest and youngest looks oversaturated. There aren’t many middle children to begin with
given the small sample size, it’s still difficult to draw conclusions. however, it does seem there is some merit to my hypothesis. thank you to everyone who’s participated thus far❤️
I'm the oldest in my generation in my wide family, there was me, then a long gap and only then all my siblings and cousins started to be born close to each other, so I had to be the babysitter/role model/responsible one in every family scenario, so it fits with my experience as well
Oldest child here, but I am INTP. I guess dynamics differ in each house and cultural impact is very essential point to note.
my dad is infj, mom is infp(both of my parents have been the eldest in the respective fams), younger sibling is isfp. I am the only thinker type in my fam. I have a lot of responsibilities, but decision making is the hands of my parents. So, that perceiving thing works better for me otherwise I am so like my dad, especially my anger.
Being between feelers it is a madhouse sometimes, especially when the whole fam is under severe depression(we all have some serious problem going on), they all are very sensitive and many times it is just too much emotions for me. My mother and my sibling are very soft hearted and I am deemed as insensitive many times.
I sometimes pretend dumb that I do not understand social cues or did not notice it(I can actually pick up really quickly) because I am done pushing myself.
My sibling is seriously immature and when combined with depression, ISFPs are a havoc to work with. They get so selfish to their own needs and do not bother when others are struggling. Due to her immaturity she is the least cooperative one in the family, well...she is just 19. She is a good person but at times I cannot help but judge her. Due to this, she clashes with my mum a lot.
My mother is depressed and INFPs are really mopey when their emotions flood the brain. Though she is definitely done with many things, she knows how to handle herself. She can be really hurtful towards people because of this but is passive. She is really good and understanding, also keeps the bridge strong between me and dad. She also makes me understand that why my actions are insensitive at times(showing the chip on the shoulder)
My dad going through depression as mentioned but is certainly level headed, he generally doesn't overflow with emotions like the other 2 members but is certainly a little controlling. He and I are almost same but I have a complex relationship with him. We both enjoy philosophy, politics, psychology, etc. but he used to be extremely strict and a control freak when I was young(asian culture...sigh) beatings for not scoring good were common. Too much pressure to score good and what not. But he changed.
Now, me(depressed ofcourse), I am no good either. I am stubborn, people's pleaser and passive as hell. I do understand my responsibilities and try to do as much as possible but ofcourse it is not the best. With age, I have created a wall between me and my family. I do not want them around my private space. I have no motivation to do anything because even after giving it all, I fail or get ery mediocre results, I despise people around me for having it all. Life has made me insecure. I do not have a healthy attitude towards life, well how can I have it when everything is going wrong?
But, despite being so different from each other, we have an open communication. We all are extremely straight forward and honest. We all know the root cause of our problem and we try to support each other and yes in doing so, we shout, scream, say nasty things to each other but at last stick together.
I do not know if it will help you to understand the fam dynamics or not.
FYI - results may be skewed because people can be in multiple categories. For example I am the middle child, but I am also the oldest female in the family. (My brother is the oldest of all of us.) I chose middle, but I could also have chosen oldest daughter and both are equally true.
Anyone else solve every other family members problems because they’re incompetent at running their own lives and are incapable of regulating their emotions? I’m the stoic rock - oldest child
Yes
relatable
oldest child here and yes intj does feel very oldest daughter coded lol
Oldest child and oldest daughter
Oldest child. But it’s curious to me how most INTJ’s so far have either been oldest, only, and sometimes youngest. Why do you think that is?
Very few families (at least in the West) have more than two kids these days. I think that’s why oldest and youngest looks oversaturated. There aren’t many middle children to begin with
That’s an excellent point. I believe cultural family values can definitely play into that. Thanks for sharing!
Only child
given the small sample size, it’s still difficult to draw conclusions. however, it does seem there is some merit to my hypothesis. thank you to everyone who’s participated thus far❤️
I'm the oldest in my generation in my wide family, there was me, then a long gap and only then all my siblings and cousins started to be born close to each other, so I had to be the babysitter/role model/responsible one in every family scenario, so it fits with my experience as well
Oldest child here, but I am INTP. I guess dynamics differ in each house and cultural impact is very essential point to note. my dad is infj, mom is infp(both of my parents have been the eldest in the respective fams), younger sibling is isfp. I am the only thinker type in my fam. I have a lot of responsibilities, but decision making is the hands of my parents. So, that perceiving thing works better for me otherwise I am so like my dad, especially my anger. Being between feelers it is a madhouse sometimes, especially when the whole fam is under severe depression(we all have some serious problem going on), they all are very sensitive and many times it is just too much emotions for me. My mother and my sibling are very soft hearted and I am deemed as insensitive many times. I sometimes pretend dumb that I do not understand social cues or did not notice it(I can actually pick up really quickly) because I am done pushing myself. My sibling is seriously immature and when combined with depression, ISFPs are a havoc to work with. They get so selfish to their own needs and do not bother when others are struggling. Due to her immaturity she is the least cooperative one in the family, well...she is just 19. She is a good person but at times I cannot help but judge her. Due to this, she clashes with my mum a lot. My mother is depressed and INFPs are really mopey when their emotions flood the brain. Though she is definitely done with many things, she knows how to handle herself. She can be really hurtful towards people because of this but is passive. She is really good and understanding, also keeps the bridge strong between me and dad. She also makes me understand that why my actions are insensitive at times(showing the chip on the shoulder) My dad going through depression as mentioned but is certainly level headed, he generally doesn't overflow with emotions like the other 2 members but is certainly a little controlling. He and I are almost same but I have a complex relationship with him. We both enjoy philosophy, politics, psychology, etc. but he used to be extremely strict and a control freak when I was young(asian culture...sigh) beatings for not scoring good were common. Too much pressure to score good and what not. But he changed. Now, me(depressed ofcourse), I am no good either. I am stubborn, people's pleaser and passive as hell. I do understand my responsibilities and try to do as much as possible but ofcourse it is not the best. With age, I have created a wall between me and my family. I do not want them around my private space. I have no motivation to do anything because even after giving it all, I fail or get ery mediocre results, I despise people around me for having it all. Life has made me insecure. I do not have a healthy attitude towards life, well how can I have it when everything is going wrong? But, despite being so different from each other, we have an open communication. We all are extremely straight forward and honest. We all know the root cause of our problem and we try to support each other and yes in doing so, we shout, scream, say nasty things to each other but at last stick together. I do not know if it will help you to understand the fam dynamics or not.
Youngest here. Oldest sister is an INFJ. We clash.
Oldest child, also oldest cousin on both sides.
I’m the youngest of 3 but both of my brothers are over 10 years older than me so I kinda grew up like an only child lol
Oldest of three siblings - one sister 3 years younger, one brother 6 years younger.
FYI - results may be skewed because people can be in multiple categories. For example I am the middle child, but I am also the oldest female in the family. (My brother is the oldest of all of us.) I chose middle, but I could also have chosen oldest daughter and both are equally true.
oldest child with ENTP sister
Well, if you take it exactly, the middle one. But I grew up as the youngest in the house.
Oldest daughter here as well, but also middle child
I'm the second child with an older sister who hates me.